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      I’m a Sex Writer—This Is the Question I Get Asked the Most

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      I’ve always wanted to be the friend people can go to to talk about sex. Even before I started writing about it, I’ve enjoyed discussing the details, from what’s going right to what’s going wrong. People’s sex lives are quite compelling to me, especially because everyone’s is usually so different. But as a sex writer, I’ve gotten even more of an inside scoop into what people like and what they don’t, particularly from what they request we write about. There are a few common themes, like how to have virtual sex—because duh, pandemic—how to seamlessly walk into the room wearing lingerie without looking like Bella from Breaking Dawn awkwardly waltzing in the room to Edward’s laughter, where to buy sex toys, how to encourage your partner to give you oral sex, just to name a few. But for the most part, there’s one thing every single person wants to know. “Is my sex life normal?” 
      It’s always accompanied by a part of their sex life they deem “unfit” in some way: how much they’re having it, where they’re having it, when they’re having it, how they’re having it—the list goes on, and every single time, I give pretty much the same answer. 
      Yep, it’s normal!
      I know you’re wondering, “OK, well, everything can’t just be ‘normal,’” to which I respond you’re absolutely right. There are certainly situations that aren’t typical. Feeling pain during sex? Not normal, talk to your doctor. Your partner pressuring you into having more sex than you want? Not normal, dump them. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about anything in your sex life, then that isn’t normal. We all deserve good sex. But if you’re self-conscious that you’re not having enough, having too much, not getting frisky enough, getting too frisky, not trying enough new positions, only having sex at night, only having sex in the morning, only having oral sex, not having oral sex, then it’s not that your sex life isn’t normal; it’s that for some reason you’re self-conscious about it. Here’s why these are all completely normal, and what I tell people to focus on instead. 

      Having sex “too little” or “too much”
      It’s a misconception that couples should be having sex the “perfect” amount. I’ve stressed over and over with friends, colleagues, and strangers that while there is no “normal” amount, most couples say they have sex once a week. Does this stop people from being stressed about it? Not in any way. Whether you or your partner has a low sex drive, you don’t live with each other, or you just don’t get around to it all the time, there’s nothing wrong with how much sex you’re having—unless you want to change it. 

      Only having a certain type of sex 
      Many people are stressed that their sex lives are weird because their sex is atypical. To this, I pretty much always say: different strokes for different folks! While someone may exclusively prefer penetrative sex but someone else likes oral, or some people like to practice BDSM and others enjoy what some deem “vanilla” sex, there’s nothing wrong with doing what you like. To be quite honest, it actually is pretty admirable that you and your partner are able to have sex that is enjoyable for the two of you, even if it seems “weird” to you.

      Not trying “new things” enough
      It’s really common to fear that your sex lives aren’t normal when you’re reading about role-playing, anal sex, sending nudes, and more if you haven’t ventured into those parts of sex yet. But there’s no rush, and no requirement, to try things that don’t excite you. Want to try something new? Yay! But don’t force yourself, or your partner, if one of you isn’t interested. 

      Source: Diego Rezende | Pexels

      Here’s what I recommend
      When someone asks me if their sex life is normal, I immediately get into advice mode, but not in the way you’d expect. Instead of telling them to have more sex or try something new, I tell them how they can increase their sexual confidence and inspire them to feel more comfortable with their libido and their sex life. 

      Talk about sex 
      Knowing about the sex lives of the other people around you is a powerful tool in understanding that every sex life is valuable. Say you’re worried that you have too much sex and your sex drive is too high, but then you talk to someone else and realize their worry is that they don’t have enough. Likely, you’ll experience a little jealousy for one another! Then, you and your friend are able to have a candid conversation about why you feel that way. Maybe you feel insecure that you and your partner participate in a certain kink, and talking about how that kink has impacted your sex life positively inspires a friend to open up about a kink they’re involved in. It doesn’t have to get extra personal if you’re a more private person, but the simple act of talking about your sex life with people other than your partner might encourage you to look at it differently.

      Address any changes 
      Have you or your partner experienced a big life change recently? (Perhaps a global pandemic!) Maybe you just moved or got a new job, and this has impacted your sex life. Sex is, of course, fun, but it’s also about promoting intimacy and bonding with one another. Dealing with a significant life change is another way you and your partner might be bonding, so you may be having less sex because you’re already getting in communication that other way. 

      Masturbate
      I will recommend masturbating for just about any life issue. Stressed? Upset? Excited? Just masturbate it away! But I’d be remiss if I didn’t describe the connection between masturbating and sexual confidence. Knowing that you can make yourself orgasm is pretty powerful, and it’s a great way to get to know your body, both physically and mentally. You can see what you like and tell your partner afterward. If you have a low sex drive, masturbating can get you more excited to have sex the next time. There are endless benefits of masturbating, and I’ll say it’s nearly essential to achieving the sex life of your dreams.

      Focus on your sexual compatibility
      A lot of the time people tell me they’re worried their sex life is abnormal in some way, I ask if their partner ever says anything about wishing their sex life was different. Almost always, they say no. To me, this often means that you are sexually compatible with each other. It’s an unexpected pleasure to meet someone who has a similar sex drive, likes the same sexual acts, has a similar kink or fetish as you, enjoys having sex at the same time, etc. If you’re feeling self-conscious about your sex life, wondering how it compares to others, keep this in mind. You and your partner are on the same page, and that’s worth being excited about. More

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      Social Distancing Doesn’t Have to Mean the End of Your Sex Life—Here’s How to Keep It Going

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      It’s well-known that a healthy sex life can help our physical and mental well-being. And yet, with the COVID-19 pandemic causing many couples to isolate apart or to social distance from prospective sexual partners, many of us are finding that our intimate lives are suffering. Recent research suggests that 43.5 percent of people have experienced a decline in their sex lives during the pandemic, with only 13.6 percent reporting improvements.But being single in quarantine doesn’t have to mean a total dry spell. In fact, many individuals are finding creative ways to get kinky, both alone and with a socially-distanced sexual partner. If quarantine has left you frustrated, then here are some ways that you can feel more fulfilled:

      Invest in a sex toy
      Early on in the pandemic, the NYC health department suggested that “you are your safest sex partner.” But solo sex doesn’t have to mean that you can’t have a helping hand—the sex toy industry has been booming during the pandemic, and now is the perfect time to find a toy that you love.
      Finding a vibrator that works for you is a highly individual choice that will depend on your own experience of orgasm. Do you prefer internal or external stimulation? How much pressure works for you? Do you live with roommates, or even parents, and need something subtle and on the quiet side? There’s so much on offer, and this handy guide can help you to figure out what to try first. Order online and stock up on lube for a totally socially distanced and pleasurable experience.
      READ: 8 Sex Toys So Mind-Blowing, You’ll Want to Gift One to Your BFF
      READ: The Top-Rated Sex Toys on Amazon

      Try out audio pornography or erotica
      Although pornography is a good way to get in the mood, the male-focused nature of much of the sex depicted can be conflicting and difficult to enjoy. Fortunately, a new wave of feminist pornography is re-centering the content that we get off to, focusing on female pleasure and a more sensual experience.
      There are plenty of porn videos out there that were produced or directed by women, but if you feel like trying something different then you might like to look into audio pornography. This intimate and sensory genre ranges from sexy stories to guided masturbation—perfect for if you need to use headphones in your current living situation. You and that person that you’ve been chatting to could even tune into something at the same time for a distanced and yet mutually-satisfying experience. 
      READ: Don’t Think You Like Porn? Try This Instead
      READ: Yes, I’m a Woman and I Watch Porn

      Source: Tessa Neustadt for ALLPRACE HOMES on The Everygirl

      Suggest some flirty phone sex
      With the rise of sexting, phone sex has taken a backseat over the last few years. But with many of us relying on digital communication for our work and social life, perhaps it’s time to give our thumbs a rest when it comes to our sex life. 
      Phone sex might feel awkward at first, especially if it’s with a new partner who you have yet to do the dirty in real life with. Test out what feels comfortable to you—you might be turned on simply by discussing your favorite positions. If you’re feeling more creative, you can describe your fantasies, and the things that you’d like to do with your prospective partner, once social distancing measures allow, and if you’re feeling really confident, describe what you’re doing to yourself right now and get them to do the same.
      READ: 7 Ways to Up Your Dirty Talk

      Take a dirty picture
      Although a sexy picture pinging up on their phone is great news for the recipient, this can also be an incredibly gratifying experience for you. If you’ve been spending all day in your pajamas, getting dressed up in your best underwear can be a total turn-on and boost your sexual confidence.
      It’s worth noting that sharing explicit pictures comes with a host of risks, and there are numerous examples of intimate images being used against women. If you choose to share a sexual image, think carefully about how you’d feel if it was shared with anyone other than the intended recipient, and only send content that you would be comfortable with others seeing. Protect your privacy by ensuring that your face and any other identifying features are not visible, and don’t feel pressured into sending images or footage if you’re not comfortable doing so and if the experience isn’t gratifying for you as well as for the recipient.

      Source: Jonathan Borba | Pexels

      Take the time to connect with someone
      The rise of digital dating means that encounters can be fleeting, and sex is readily available. Although this can be liberating, it also means that new and casual partners may be less invested in our pleasure. Relying on sexting, Zoom dates, and socially-distanced walks might be frustrating, but it can also give you the opportunity to connect with someone on a deeper level, to explore each other’s turn-ons, and to build sexual tension. By the time that you feel comfortable initiating physical intimacy, or even just exploring some distanced play, you might find that getting to know a new partner better leads to a sexier experience.
      READ: I Stopped Giving Out My Number on Dating Apps—Here’s Why

      Find a safe sexual partner
      For some of us, nothing beats the real thing, and in-person intimacy and sex can be important for well-being. There’s no way to guarantee a completely safe way to have sex during the COVID pandemic, but if you find that socially-distanced sex isn’t cutting it for you, then you should try and take all precautions possible.
      Make sure that you are having open conversations and setting boundaries with any sexual partner about what behavior is acceptable and what you are both comfortable with. If a new sexual interest lives alone and is following social distancing guidance strictly, then you may feel safe to stay over at their place. If you do so, make sure that you are following all government guidance on hand-washing, limiting contact with others, and following usual safe sex procedures to protect against all kinds of infections.
      READ: What “Finding The One” Really Means in 2020 More

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      Can’t Orgasm? Here’s Why

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      The climax. The big “O.” Coming. Cleave the pin. Let go. Crack your marbles. You’ve heard all the euphemisms, but you haven’t quite been able to get there yourself. So, whenever you have sex, you’re so focused on getting to the finish line yourself that you just can’t seem to quite get there.We’re here to help! Your sexual pleasure is important, and not being able to orgasm is stressful, uncomfortable, and frustrating. Ready to climax but not sure how? Come (ha) along with me!

      You’re expecting a giant explosion of emotion
      The movies (and friends sometimes, too!) can make an orgasm sound like a firework is exploding in your body. Not every orgasm feels like that. As I once said, orgasms are like snowflakes — they’re all unique!
      Don’t orgasm-compare either! As much as I love talking to friends about sex, make sure you understand that their experiences are going to be different from yours.

      You’re too tense
      Relax girl! When you get too overworked making sure you climax, your body can’t “let go.”
      Yoga, stretching, really any kind of exercise, and meditation can help you relax and get over all the stress you’re putting your body through. It might also be a good idea to let your partner know that you’re struggling. He or she might be able to help calm your nerves and get your body to relax.  

      You and your partner aren’t connecting
      As much as I hate to write this one, it could be something in your relationship that’s making orgasming difficult. Whether you’re not connected physically, you’re both stressed about something, you’re miscommunicating, or something else is going on between the two of you, it might make your body tense up or your mind might be in a different place.
      Practice some mindfulness. It might sound weird (and difficult!), but stay in the present while you’re having sex. Really be there with your partner and stay focused on what’s happening in the present moment. You’ll feel more gratitude toward your partner, and have better sex (!!!).

      Try masturbating
      If you haven’t tried getting off on your own, YOU MUST. Ok, it’s not that dramatic, but I would definitely recommend you start here! Masturbation helps you get an idea of what you enjoy, and once you’re able to make yourself orgasm, it’s easier to tell your partner what he or she can do to get you there.
      If you’re struggling to get off from masturbation as well, try adding in toys and trying different positions.

      Sex is painful
      If sex hurts, obviously you’re not going to enjoy it enough to orgasm. Make an appointment with your doctor ASAP.

      If you’re taking some medications
      Certain medications can decrease your libido and lower your ability to climax. If this is really bothering you, bring this up with your doctor as well.

      You’re afraid of losing control
      Self-proclaimed control freak here, and I can say first-hand that being afraid to lose control and let your body go is actually a very common reason for not being able to orgasm. If you’re with a new partner, dealing with body image issues, or dealing with other areas of stress in your life, it’s easy to feel like you don’t want to lose control of your sex life.
      Communicate with your partner that you’re struggling with this aspect of your sex life. Getting it off your chest is the first step in relinquishing control, and your partner might be able to ease your mind of some of the (probably false!) narratives you’re telling yourself. More

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      How Much Sex Should You Really Be Having in a Relationship?

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      I once read that happy couples have sex once a week. So, when I was having more or less than that in a relationship, I started feeling like my sex life was wrong, and my relationship was doomed to failure. On to the next one, I suppose!Relationship comparison is so real. Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, watching To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before and swooning over Peter and Lara Jean’s innocent and beautiful romance, or talking with friends and family, it’s easy to feel like you’re relationship isn’t what’s considered “normal,” especially when it comes to intimacy.  
      You’re supposed to wait three dates to have sex, one year to move in together, and two years to get engaged, and another year until you get married — all these arbitrary timelines are exhausting! Of course, we all want to be in the happiest relationship, but why do we have to follow the same timeline as everyone else? In the same vein, why do we all have to have sex the same amount of times in a week?! So, I looked into a few sociological studies and decided how much sex we really should be having if we want the best relationship possible.

      What the studies say
      Sociologists love studying couples almost as much as they love studying sex, so there’s tons of information out there on how often happy couples should be sleeping together. A 2015 study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science studied 30,000 couples over 40 years. They discovered that having sex once a week was the perfect medium for couples; however, couples having more sex weren’t more or less happy, but couples having less did report being less fulfilled sexually.
      Another 2017 study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that the average adult prefers to have sex 54 times a year, which roughly equates to once a week.
      My personal favorite study on the subject comes from Carnegie Mellon University. This study split couples into two groups: Group A kept their sex lives normal, while Group B had twice as much sex as they normally were having. At the end of the study, Group B actually reported that the sex “wasn’t much fun” and that it started to feel like a chore. Go figure.

      So, what should we be doing?
      This Carnegie Mellon study got it right. If there isn’t a strain on your relationship, and your needs are both being met, why should we (or science!) question how often you should be getting it on with your partner?! There’s really no need to mess with a good thing. It’s easy to feel like your sex life doesn’t measure up to someone else’s (i.e. that one couple your BFF knows who has sex every night vs. the other couple you know who is perfectly fine going once or twice a month).
      Sexual pressure comes from all areas and reading up on study after study to tell you if your sex life is normal is pretty counterproductive. How often you’re having sex isn’t what makes a relationship “happy,” often sex comes when you’re feeling happy in your life. Stress at work, money troubles, or family drama all have a negative impact on our mental health and can decrease your libido. Just because you’re having less sex than your idea of normal doesn’t mean your relationship is bad.
      Whether you’re having sex four times a week and loving every second of it or you enjoy your time in the bedroom once every two weeks, your relationship shouldn’t rely on a number of to be considered happy. You get to decide what your normal is, not science this time. Anyway, normal is just a social construct to make us feel inferior to others, so to that, I say, good riddance with whatever the heck normal is. More

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      8 Sex Toys So Mind-Blowing, You’ll Want to Gift One to Your BFF

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      It’s a common fact that I’m an astounding gift-giver. I’m really attentive to people’s tastes; when I shop, I can see exactly what I think my friends and family would adore. But I’m rarely asked about my favorite gift I’ve ever received, which is maybe lucky because the answer is 100 percent a vibrator. Buying yourself a vibrator is a self-care choice, but buying one for your best friend is the sign of true companionship. The first step to de-stigmatizing sex for women (stream “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, people) and using sex toys, whether alone or with a partner, starts with you. Show your friends that sex toys are fun and exciting and not something they should be afraid of. So whether you’re introducing your friend to the vast world of vibrators or surprising them with a little something to brighten their day (or night, or mid-afternoon, or lunch break—we don’t judge), these sex toys will do it. Friends don’t let friends use crusty old vibrators from boyfriends past, so be a true friend with one of these magical treats.

      Mini G-Spot Vibrator

      HELLO, WORLD. I would like to introduce you to my newest discovery: Nasty Gal (yes, one of our favorite retailers for clothes) sells sex toys. *cue my happy dance* Grabbing yourself a new blazer or loungewear set for the fall? Add this little vibe with it (and maybe grab one for yourself too). This G-spot vibrator is biodegradable (love) and has multiple speeds. But I really should only have to say it’s currently on sale for $12…

      Joy Rabbit Vibrator

      First of all, I want to shoutout Rodeoh, a line made by and for women with a focus on comfortable harnesses, particularly for queer women. It’s the most LGBTQ+-friendly site I’ve found for sex toys, lingerie, harnesses, dildos, and more. I also have to mention I love that they offer plus-size harnesses too! But onto what you came for: this rabbit vibrator is designed for both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, has 12 speeds, and is quiet and waterproof. Your BFF will love the vibe, but love the brand even better.

      Bodystar Vibrator

      Another vibrator obsession I found on Nasty Gal, this little star is perfect for the friend who’s just getting into sex toys but is a little afraid to dive into some of the others on this list (but by all means, get her the butt plug too if that’s the kind of friend you are—it’s the kind of friend I am).

      Massage Wand Vibrator

      A classic wand vibe should be on everyone’s wishlist, so why not surprise your BFF with it? There’s a reason a wand vibe like this is the muse of art, music, comedy, and more: it’s outrageous and extremely effective. For the most intense clitoral orgasms, this will be your favorite.

      Tenga Iroha Mini Vibrator

      This vibrator lands on this list as an editor-favorite because it’s so discreet. Not that we’re traveling all the much anymore, but you’ll love this to throw in your bag, whether you’re jet-setting across the country or across town to see your partner. But don’t let the small size fool you; it’s ultra-powerful and waterproof.

      Beginner’s Butt Plug

      Invite your friend into the land of sunshine, rainbows, and anal play with a beginner’s butt plug like this. It’s pink, non-threatening, and easy to use. Add in a little bit of lube (our favorite is below!), and she’s about to have a grand ole time.

      Pride Heart of Gold Dildo

      Show your BFF the magic of a dildo! Many of us can only picture what a dildo looks like, and it’s usually a little jarring if not uncomfortable for some. But there are non-realistic dildos out there that are perfect to use alone or with a partner.

      Nécessaire
      The Sex Gel

      If you’re a little unsure about giving your BFF a toy, a sophisticated, vanity-friendly lube like this one makes the cut for sure. Nécessaire has taken over our Instagram feeds with their chic body washes and lotions, but my favorite product in their line is this lubricant. It takes the shame and stress out of lube and instead makes it a whole nightstand moment. It’s a water-based lube that works with all of the toys above, during sex, or whatever the heck you’re into. Add it to your next Nordstrom order, and thank me later. More

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      The Sex Position to Try Based on Your Enneagram

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      The first thing you’ll ever hear about sex is that there are tons of positions and that people get themselves into all kinds of weird ones. Remember thinking that sexual Twister was a thing? There are books and articles and lists abound about hundreds of sex positions to try, but I’d be remiss to say that almost everyone I speak to says they stick to a select few with their partner and that’s about it. No shame in your game—if you and your partner are big Doggy Style people (love that for you), stick to it. But if you’re ready to try something new, these are a few intriguing new positions to try all based on your Enneagram type. 

      Tabletop
      Don’t tell me you aren’t turned on a little bit by the chaos and disorder of the classic “remove everything from the countertop in one fail swoop” movie move. It’s OK to admit chaos kinda gets you excited, one! *WINK* As much as you love order and organization, ones like to get out of their usual when it comes to sex. This tabletop position allows you to try that without throwing all of your important documents on the floor. Make a space on a countertop, desk, table, bed—get creative here, anything that’s the height of your partner’s crotch works—and allow your partner to penetrate or orally stimulate you as you lay on your back. 

      Seated Wheelbarrow
      Twos probably have some of the best sex lives not going to lie. They’re really thoughtful and caring, so they probably have their partner’s favorite positions and sexual routines down pat. To spice things up a little bit, try this position. The wheelbarrow position often requires a lot of balance and coordination, which I wouldn’t be surprised if many twos out there have! But this one makes it a little more accessible without sacrificing the pleasure. Have your partner sit at the edge of a bed or couch, place your butt on their lap with your legs behind their body, and place your hands on the floor. They’ll probably need to hold onto your thighs to keep you stable, but this position is great for both parties to get active. 

      Laying Down
      Threes like their sex to be efficient and valuable for both parties. If they’re not getting off, you best believe they’re not interested, which makes this position perfect for them. Lay down on your stomach with your legs together and your hips slightly raised as your partner penetrates on top of you. If you get off from penetration, this one is great because it keeps your legs together so there’s more friction. But this position is amazing for clitoral stimulation because you can easily reach down and touch yourself while your partner penetrates you. It’s basically a two-for-one deal, AKA a threes in heaven.

      Doggy-Style Oral Sex
      Fours are pretty kinky in the bedroom because they know it’s a time to get out of their head and just have fun. Instead of your usual oral sex though, try this position. Just as you would get into doggy style (on all fours) for penetration, allow your partner to give you oral from the back. For one, it’s a comfortable position, so there’s that. But it also allows your partner to get into places they wouldn’t normally. If they had fingers or toys vaginally, this angle has a much easier time getting to your G-spot. Also, you’re able to touch yourself while your partner uses their mouth. H-O-T. 
      This is also a good segue into oral anal sex, which can be a great addition to your oral pleasure repertoire. 

      Cowboy
      The curiosity of a five makes finding new sex positions pretty easy. They’re not one to turn something down; they’re always intrigued by a new idea. Not to mention, a five will do basically anything for research. So, next time, put Cowboy to the test. While traditional Cowgirl position involves one partner laying down and the other straddling them through penetration, Cowboy is the flip side. The one who is penetrating is on top instead. They straddle you and enter from the top. The G-spot potential is very high, and it really allows your partner to use their fingers to stimulate you at the same time. Is it better than Cowgirl? Try it a couple times for the “data.” 😉 

      Knees Together
      Sixes can get into a routine easily, but they’re always excited to try something new when it arises. In usual six fashion, they love sex for the relaxation and stress-relief it provides at the end of their day. So why not add a little yoga into it? You know the Happy Baby yoga pose? This is that except part your thighs enough for your partner to have access to all your bits and bobs. They’ll get a glimpse of everything (hot), and you’ll get quite the stretch in. This position is also really great for oral sex too.

      Corkscrew
      A seven’s sex life is bound to be fun, as they rarely want to indulge in the same position twice. Keep this one in mind next time. The corkscrew involves one person lying down on their side with their back facing the other person while their partner is standing and penetrating them sideways (this is hard to explain, but you see the pretty picture up there). What’s fun for sevens with this position is it allows them to get involved too. Moving your hips slightly or matching your partner’s thrust allows you to up the ante—a job you very much enjoy. 

      Reverse Cowgirl on A Chair
      What else can I say but that eights have major top energy? They like being able to create the pace, but they’re also not afraid to loosen up the reigns a little bit in the name of some pleasure. 
      Instead of the usual Reverse Cowgirl where your partner lies on their back, this one props you both up a little by having your partner sit upright in a chair. You’ll sit backwards and back into them. This puts all the control in your hands (a dream for an eight), so you can decide how fast, how deep, and how hard you want it. To make it a little more fun, have your partner hold your arms as they thrust up and down. A little power reversal never hurt anybody. 

      Seated Oral Sex
      Nines are people-pleasers, so they’ll often find themselves doing what their partner wants during sex as much as possible. It’s lovely for their partner, but they deserve a little time too! Try a seated position in which you stay seated with your legs spread while your partner comes from below to give oral sex. Imagine you’re sitting on the couch or a chair, and your partner sits on the floor. This allows them access to all of you, so they can try oral, finger, and toy stimulation all at once. 
      This can be oral sex, but seated penetration isn’t a bad idea either.  More

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      The Top-Rated Sex Toys on Amazon

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      A Saturday Night Live skit from April pretty much explained every feeling I have about sex right now: “During quarantine, I straight up murdered all my vibrators.” Yep. That’s it. 
      After having seriously zero sexual interaction for months, any vibrator stash is looking a little bleak. Whether you’ve used it ‘til the batteries were dead or are just desperately looking for something to spice it up (even with a partner!), we found the best sex toys on Amazon to do the trick. Don’t worry: we already vetted the reviews, so you know you’re getting exactly what you paid for. Your next Prime package is about to be quite thrilling.

      Rechargeable Personal Wand Massager

      With over two thousand reviews, this cost-effective cordless “massager” (LOL) will add a little something different to your sex toy drawer. This offers 20 different vibrating patterns and eight speeds, meaning you won’t get tired of this toy for a while.

      Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation Air-Pulse Clitoris Stimulator

      Oh, the Satisfyer. If you’re new to sex toys, it might seem simple to go with a classic vibrator first, but I recommend this every time. It’s like nothing else on the market (or at least it was when it launched) because instead of focusing on penetration or vibration, it focuses on suction, mimicking the feeling of oral sex. Did I just sell you? I hope so. They last for years and absolutely change the sex toy experience—trust me.

      LELO Beads Mini Small Kegel Exercise Balls

      Spice up your drawer with these kegel balls. Whether you use them alone or with a partner, you’ll get a little joy adding these to your routine. They’re super versatile and can be used about a dozen different ways to boost pleasure, exercise your pelvic floor, and add a new sensation.

      Clitoris Vibrator

      This little clitoral vibrator is basically a Carpal Tunnel users’ BFF. It’s small and effortless to hold in your hand, especially for… prolonged periods of time, if you will. This has over 10 speed and pattern combinations to give you a unique experience basically every time you use it. Reviewers love the small size as well for storage, travel, and partner play.
      Another note to mention: tons of reviews boasted the customer service, saying that anytime they’ve had issues with performance, they’ve reached out to customer service and were given a replacement or taught how to fix the problem.

      Partner Couple Vibrator for Clitoral & G-Spot Stimulation

      The reviews for this vibrator are both hysterical and quite true. After seeing the hilarious reviews on Twitter, I picked up one for myself and cancelled all of my plans for about two weeks. Please read this review and then go buy it and then come back here and thank me. That’s all.

      G Spot Rabbit Vibrator

      With over 6,700 reviews, this rabbit vibrator makes the top of the list. Not only are there tons of reviews, over 3,000 of them are five stars. This has everything a good rabbit vibe does: waterproof, quiet, USB-charger, and multiple speeds. One reviewer said this brought her sex life back after a bad breakup, that it helped her orgasm for the first time, and that it has so much power that it ended up in her husband’s glass when he walked in the room (please read the second review; you won’t be disappointed).

      Silicone Dual Penis Ring

      Add a little extra somethin’-somethin’ to your sex life with this penis ring. Use it on yourself or with a partner to increase pleasure during penetration, during oral sex, or for (mutual) masturbation. The reviews are filled with positive experiences from people with and without penises who have found pleasure using this on themselves or with a partner.

      G Spot Vibrator for Vagina Stimulation

      This vibrator is bendable to hit your G-spot. Reviewers love how quiet it is (perfect for any roommate situations), the discreet packaging, the storage container it comes with, the magnetic charger, and the various speeds and patterns. If you’re looking to get outside the box of external vibrators, this is an easy one to start with!

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