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    4 ways to create the ultimate vision board for 2025

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    Life

    by Ruman Baig
    10 seconds ago

    Vision boards have become a popular tool for manifesting goals, dreams, and aspirations.
    This visually engaging practice involves creating a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent your desires and objectives.

    If you’re intrigued by the idea and are looking for road map on how to create one, what’s the reasons behind their effectiveness, and understand how this creative process can positively impact your life, we’ve got you covered.
    Different Ways to Create a Vision Board:
    Traditional Collage:

    Gather magazines, scissors, glue, and a sturdy board. Flip through magazines, cut out images and phrases that resonate with your goals. Arrange and glue the selected items onto the board.
    Digital Vision Board:

    Use online platforms or graphic design software to create a virtual vision board. Collect images and quotes from the internet that inspire you. Arrange them on a digital canvas and save the file for easy access.
    Themed Boards:

    Focus on specific areas of your life (e.g., career, relationships, health, travel). Create separate boards for each theme, allowing for a more detailed and targeted approach.
    Mind Map Vision Board:

    Start with a central idea or goal in the center of the board. Branch out with images and words that relate to different aspects of that goal. Connect the elements to visualize the interplay between different areas of your life.
    The Reasons Behind Vision Boards:
    Visualization and Law of Attraction:
    Vision boards serve as powerful tools for visualizing your goals, aligning with the law of attraction. By regularly exposing yourself to your aspirations, you’re sending a constant message to your subconscious mind, reinforcing your intentions.
    Clarity and Focus:
    The process of selecting and arranging images forces you to clarify your goals. Vision boards act as a focal point, helping you concentrate on what truly matters to you amid life’s distractions.
    Motivation and Positive Reinforcement:
    Seeing your goals represented visually can be a daily reminder of your aspirations. The positive reinforcement gained from acknowledging your progress fosters motivation.
    Brain Engagement:
    Creating a vision board engages both the creative and logical parts of your brain. This holistic approach enhances your ability to think critically about your goals while expressing them artistically.
    Incorporating vision boards into your routine can be a transformative experience. Whether through traditional collages or digital formats, the act of visualizing and articulating your goals contributes to a more focused, motivated, and purposeful life.
    Take the time to create a vision board, and watch as it becomes a dynamic tool in shaping your future.
    – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Images: Unsplash & Pinterest: More

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      Vision boards: 4 different ways to make create one for 2024

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      Life

      by Ruman Baig
      2 hours ago

      Vision boards have become a popular tool for manifesting goals, dreams, and aspirations.
      This visually engaging practice involves creating a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent your desires and objectives.
      If you’re intrigued by the idea and are looking for road map on how to create one, what’s the reasons behind their effectiveness, and understand how this creative process can positively impact your life, we’ve got you covered.
      Different Ways to Create a Vision Board:
      Traditional Collage:

      Gather magazines, scissors, glue, and a sturdy board. Flip through magazines, cut out images and phrases that resonate with your goals. Arrange and glue the selected items onto the board.
      Digital Vision Board:

      Use online platforms or graphic design software to create a virtual vision board. Collect images and quotes from the internet that inspire you. Arrange them on a digital canvas and save the file for easy access.
      Themed Boards:

      Focus on specific areas of your life (e.g., career, relationships, health, travel). Create separate boards for each theme, allowing for a more detailed and targeted approach.
      Mind Map Vision Board:

      Start with a central idea or goal in the center of the board. Branch out with images and words that relate to different aspects of that goal. Connect the elements to visualize the interplay between different areas of your life.
      The Reasons Behind Vision Boards:
      Visualization and Law of Attraction:
      Vision boards serve as powerful tools for visualizing your goals, aligning with the law of attraction. By regularly exposing yourself to your aspirations, you’re sending a constant message to your subconscious mind, reinforcing your intentions.
      Clarity and Focus:
      The process of selecting and arranging images forces you to clarify your goals. Vision boards act as a focal point, helping you concentrate on what truly matters to you amid life’s distractions.
      Motivation and Positive Reinforcement:
      Seeing your goals represented visually can be a daily reminder of your aspirations. The positive reinforcement gained from acknowledging your progress fosters motivation.
      Brain Engagement:
      Creating a vision board engages both the creative and logical parts of your brain. This holistic approach enhances your ability to think critically about your goals while expressing them artistically.
      Incorporating vision boards into your routine can be a transformative experience. Whether through traditional collages or digital formats, the act of visualizing and articulating your goals contributes to a more focused, motivated, and purposeful life.
      Take the time to create a vision board, and watch as it becomes a dynamic tool in shaping your future.
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Unsplash & Pinterest: More

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      Vision boards: 4 different ways to create one for 2024

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      Lifeby Ruman Baig18 hours ago Vision boards have become a popular tool for manifesting goals, dreams, and aspirations.This visually engaging practice involves creating a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent your desires and objectives.If you’re intrigued by the idea and are looking for road map on how to create one, what’s the reasons behind their effectiveness, and understand how this creative process can positively impact your life, we’ve got you covered.Different Ways to Create a Vision Board:Traditional Collage:Gather magazines, scissors, glue, and a sturdy board. Flip through magazines, cut out images and phrases that resonate with your goals. Arrange and glue the selected items onto the board.Digital Vision Board:Use online platforms or graphic design software to create a virtual vision board. Collect images and quotes from the internet that inspire you. Arrange them on a digital canvas and save the file for easy access.Themed Boards:Focus on specific areas of your life (e.g., career, relationships, health, travel). Create separate boards for each theme, allowing for a more detailed and targeted approach.Mind Map Vision Board:Start with a central idea or goal in the center of the board. Branch out with images and words that relate to different aspects of that goal. Connect the elements to visualize the interplay between different areas of your life.The Reasons Behind Vision Boards:Visualization and Law of Attraction:Vision boards serve as powerful tools for visualizing your goals, aligning with the law of attraction. By regularly exposing yourself to your aspirations, you’re sending a constant message to your subconscious mind, reinforcing your intentions.Clarity and Focus:The process of selecting and arranging images forces you to clarify your goals. Vision boards act as a focal point, helping you concentrate on what truly matters to you amid life’s distractions.Motivation and Positive Reinforcement:Seeing your goals represented visually can be a daily reminder of your aspirations. The positive reinforcement gained from acknowledging your progress fosters motivation.Brain Engagement:Creating a vision board engages both the creative and logical parts of your brain. This holistic approach enhances your ability to think critically about your goals while expressing them artistically.Incorporating vision boards into your routine can be a transformative experience. Whether through traditional collages or digital formats, the act of visualizing and articulating your goals contributes to a more focused, motivated, and purposeful life.Take the time to create a vision board, and watch as it becomes a dynamic tool in shaping your future.– For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and InstagramImages: Unsplash & Pinterest: More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      Selena Gomez makes it insta-official with Benny Blanco

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      Life

      by Ruman Baig
      3 hours ago

      Selena Gomez has recently taken to Instagram to share a glimpse into her blossoming romance with music producer Benny Blanco.
      The “Lose You to Love Me” singer, known for her discretion, went insta-official, revealing intimate moments from her time in New York City.
      In a series of images capturing her experiences in the city, Gomez provided a personal insight into her relationship with Benny. From tender kisses to group snapshots, the Rare Beauty founder showcased their connection for her followers.

      According to an exclusive source close to Gomez, the singer and Benny have a longstanding connection that extends beyond their newfound romance. Originating as colleagues in the music industry, their chemistry was notably evident, especially during collaborative studio sessions.
      Gomez, reportedly smitten, is navigating her first more serious relationship in quite some time, marking a significant shift in her romantic life.

      Earlier this month, Gomez officially acknowledged her relationship with Blanco through Instagram. Liking and responding to a post titled “Selena Gomez Seemingly Confirms That She Is in a Relationship,” the singer left a succinct comment: “Facts.”
      Adding fuel to the speculation, Gomez shared an image of a new diamond ring prominently featuring the letter “B.” While the singer has previously dedicated time to self-discovery during her single period, the source emphasized her current enjoyment of the commitment to Benny.
      In this public confirmation of her relationship, Selena Gomez seems to be embracing a new chapter in her love life, and fans are eager to witness the unfolding romance between the pop sensation and the accomplished music producer.
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Instagram @selenagomez More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      4 creative ways to make your vision boards for 2024

      by

      Life

      by Ruman Baig
      2 hours ago

      Vision boards have become a popular tool for manifesting goals, dreams, and aspirations.
      This visually engaging practice involves creating a collage of images, words, and symbols that represent your desires and objectives.
      If you’re intrigued by the idea and are looking for road map on how to create one, what’s the reasons behind their effectiveness, and understand how this creative process can positively impact your life, we’ve got you covered.
      Different Ways to Create a Vision Board:
      Traditional Collage:

      Gather magazines, scissors, glue, and a sturdy board. Flip through magazines, cut out images and phrases that resonate with your goals. Arrange and glue the selected items onto the board.
      Digital Vision Board:

      Use online platforms or graphic design software to create a virtual vision board. Collect images and quotes from the internet that inspire you. Arrange them on a digital canvas and save the file for easy access.
      Themed Boards:

      Focus on specific areas of your life (e.g., career, relationships, health, travel). Create separate boards for each theme, allowing for a more detailed and targeted approach.
      Mind Map Vision Board:

      Start with a central idea or goal in the center of the board. Branch out with images and words that relate to different aspects of that goal. Connect the elements to visualize the interplay between different areas of your life.
      The Reasons Behind Vision Boards:
      Visualization and Law of Attraction:
      Vision boards serve as powerful tools for visualizing your goals, aligning with the law of attraction. By regularly exposing yourself to your aspirations, you’re sending a constant message to your subconscious mind, reinforcing your intentions.
      Clarity and Focus:
      The process of selecting and arranging images forces you to clarify your goals. Vision boards act as a focal point, helping you concentrate on what truly matters to you amid life’s distractions.
      Motivation and Positive Reinforcement:
      Seeing your goals represented visually can be a daily reminder of your aspirations. The positive reinforcement gained from acknowledging your progress fosters motivation.
      Brain Engagement:
      Creating a vision board engages both the creative and logical parts of your brain. This holistic approach enhances your ability to think critically about your goals while expressing them artistically.
      Incorporating vision boards into your routine can be a transformative experience. Whether through traditional collages or digital formats, the act of visualizing and articulating your goals contributes to a more focused, motivated, and purposeful life.
      Take the time to create a vision board, and watch as it becomes a dynamic tool in shaping your future.
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Unsplash & Pinterest: More

    • 200 Shares

      in lifestyle and culture

      The Dubai Match Maker on the pivots that led her to build an AI-powered matchmaking app

      by

      Life

      by Camille Macawili
      2 hours ago

      Christiana Maxion aka “The Dubai Match Maker”, on how her pivots led her to finding her path, including being the Founder of an AI-powered social matchmaking app.
      What do the first 30 minutes of your day look like, your morning routine?
      I hate to say but the first thing I do is reach for my phone. With clients all over the world and a team in all time zones, I check my phone first to see if I need to address anything critical. This is then followed by walking my toy poodle Toby in the garden then a coffee on my terrace with a view of the Burj Khalifa journaling. I journal every single day — my gratitude list, goals, and ways to contribute/ add value to others. The more you give, the more you receive.
      You’ve been fearless in changing your career – can you expand on this?
      My early studies and career were in Finance, but I changed course into Education. I had a very successful career as a curriculum coordinator, teacher trainer, school leader, and published author. I used to run a former Instagram account. I ran ‘dating in Dubai’ and what l learned from having that account was that people hated dating in Dubai and I was baffled! You can literally date the entire map here and the most incredible, ambitious people I have ever met have been living in Dubai. I’ve always been a solution seeker and took this as my next challenge to overcome… I’m going to solve dating in Dubai! With the introduction of new long-term visas, the amazing way the UAE dealt with the pandemic, and new laws promoting more freedom in dating and partnership, I decided to consult a legal team about the legalities of opening a professional matchmaking business here in Dubai. I got the green light in 2021 and opened my agency: Christiana Maxion Solutions. Only seven months into the launch of my agency, I was contacted by matchmaking giants Patti Stanger’s Millionaire’s Club and Cinqe Matchmaking to join forces to expand globally and enter into a formal partnership. This new affiliation not only marked a significant new milestone for Christiana Maxion Solutions, but also provides our clients with unlimited matchmaking opportunities across the globe, giving our clients an even greater chance of meeting “the one”.
      We work with the most sought-after HNWIs and UHNWIs in the world. Each has built empires with undeniable levels of success. Hiring a matchmaker isn’t their last resort, it’s their only option. The extreme success and high demand of my core business as a matchmaker to HNWI and UHNWI have led to the creation of my app: MAXION: Match & Meet. It is the first AI-powered social matchmaking concierge app, and a way to bring my niche services to the masses. As a first-time tech founder, there have been many highs and some lows, but entering a new world of tech forced me to learn and learn quickly! I’ve had people try to scam me, purposefully lead me down the wrong direction, and steal ideas… but I am so firm in my belief that I am going to change so many people’s lives with the connections that MAXION will create, that I have been so focused and only see success for us.
      MAXION is an AI-powered social matchmaking concierge. How can AI help in analyzing potential relationships?
      AI is a term that is now used too loosely. MAXION is using AI to master compatibility and concierge, so that all our members have to focus on is connection. I can share that our members’ feedback from their meets will curate their entire dating and social experience to help them find success. Our systems are based on the 96% success rate of my core business of matchmaking HNWIs.

      How has this been optimized to ensure the product is user-friendly?
      We are sharing our app with 500 selected beta testers. The team that built the billion-dollar app Calm, Gymshark, Marks & Spencer and many others, is now building MAXION: Match & Meet. This beta testing will ensure we can optimise the UX – we are working with both AI and real-life humans and connections here, so yes, it has to be right, and it has to provide the convenience and concierge we are promising, exactly what time-poor people need. This beta testing with founder members will be crucial for further developments. What metrics do you use to measure a successful match? There are several factors and with the app, there will be an algorithm that I can’t share publicly but I will share that feedback is super important for a successful match. The more you date, the more curated the experience becomes to find success in both your social and romantic lives. Feedback is everything!
      What are new product features that set it apart from other apps?
      Besides our unique compatibility algorithm and AI enhancements, it’s in the tagline: Match & Meet. No more ghosting, flaky daters, and swiping from an endless pool of incompatible partners. All MAXION Members are extensively verified. We are NOT a free-mium product and will ensure that all MAXION Members are of a calibre that is up to your personal standard. We advise all our members to never settle. We love picky people.
      How do you approach scaling without compromising on quality?
      MAXION: Match & Meet is a way to reach a wider audience and to create so much more connection in the region. Our extreme vetting process is still a handpicked process and our tech aides in all other aspects. For the core business of the personalised matchmaking of HNWIs, I am currently expanding my matchmaking team in UAE and UK in order to keep up with the demand for our services at Christiana Maxion Solutions.
      This is The Fearlessness Issue – what is your advice on how to fearlessly approach making real-life connections?
      Be fearless in who you are and what you bring to the table. Your successes, accomplishments, achievements, character, and values are what make you unique and special in every way. Stand firm and be proud of YOU. This will attract your ideal partner. Another bit of advice that I give to daters and entrepreneurs is to be a duck. Everything rolls off your back like water off a duck’s back. Don’t let the ups and the downs get you too low or too high and keep swimming along. Stay focused on your pursuits.
      October – The Fearlessness Issue with Chaumet  – Download Now
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied More

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      How I got my job as… Dubai’s leading dating coach and matchmaker

      by

      Welcome to the Emirates Woman weekly series ‘How I got my job as…’ where we speak to some incredible entrepreneurs and businesswomen both based in the UAE and globally to find out about their career paths that led them to where they are now; what their daily routines look like; the advice they’d give to those starting out; and the hurdles they’ve had to overcome.
      This week we chat with Christiana Maxion, the founder and CEO of Match & Meet. Known for revamping the Dubai dating scene, she launched her own matchmaking agency that offers unlimited matchmaking memberships for her clients.
      With a database of more than 40k members, Maxion has the largest GCC and Global database of female C-level executives, lawyers, entrepreneurs and models. To go through a careful scrutiny, each potential match is thoroughly vetted, interviewed and approved.
      Since launching more than 1000’s of happy couples have been matched and the memberships even include additional services such as a relationship psychologist, rapid transformational therapy, professional photos, styling and more.
      To understand her journey as a dating coach, Emirates Woman spoke to her to see how it all began and how she brings her expertise to the table.
      What was your favourite subject at school?
      I was a straight-A student in high school and went to a top university to study finance. I loved math because there was always a right or wrong answer. There was no grey area or things up for interpretation. But, in all honesty, I learned the most from life experiences rather than traditional schooling.
      What was your first job?
      I was a springboard diving coach. I used to travel the world and compete and was recruited to dive for the University of Notre Dame but incurred a career-ending injury my sophomore year. I studied Finance at university and did an internship with Merrill Lynch but decided to switch industries and get my Master’s in Education; inspired by my love for coaching and working with young kids. I taught first grade and kindergarten in the South Bronx before taking a KG1 teaching position in Abu Dhabi in 2016.
      What brought you to Dubai?
      It’s been 7 amazing years in the UAE. I’m a native New Yorker and never thought I would ever leave New York as my entire family lives within five miles of each other, but I fell in love with a boy and gave our relationship a shot, which was the initial reason for my move here. We split in early 2017 and I decided to stay because I saw so much opportunity here. The UAE is really a place where you get promoted based on merit rather than longevity and if you take action, you can build anything you can dream of. Seven years and three businesses later, I’m here in Dubai and never leaving!
      What inspired you to enter the matchmaking space?
      It all started with a comedic Instagram account. I started documenting my dating experience in 2020 and people were really drawn to my empowered dating standpoint of dating with high standards and low expectations. Plus, it was a bit cheeky so it gained some popularity. I noticed that people hated dating in Dubai (I absolutely love it) and would constantly request dating and relationship advice. I’ve always been a solution seeker and saw a need in the market for an alternative to what was currently out there. In all honesty, the most amazing people I have ever met have been living in the UAE and I wanted to be the bridge that connected them. With the introduction of new long-term visas, the amazing way the UAE dealt with the pandemic, and new laws promoting more freedom in dating and partnership, I decided to consult a legal team about the legalities of opening a professional matchmaking business here in Dubai. I got the green light in 2021 and we are now Christiana Maxion Solutions offering elite matchmaking for high-net-worth men in Dubai, London, and globally with a 96% success rate and a 40k+ database. I feel like I’ve already lived eight different lives and I’m only 34!
      Talk us through the concept of being a matchmaker.
      Our clients hire us because they are time poor and sick and tired of wasting time, effort and energy with the wrong people. They hire us to expedite the entire dating process to find their ideal partner in the most optimized timeline and environment! It’s basically outsourcing your love life to an expert that delivers results! The feedback from our clients is the heart of what I do! When you match clients with their future partners after they have been struggling for years or just missing the mark, their success fills my heart. I absolutely LOVE it!

      What are the key elements of your role?
      The key to being an excellent matchmaker is not only understanding the modern dating world of the 2020s and having impeccable EQ, but also an extensive network and resources to find the perfect partners for your client. We are a small team of six elite matchmakers who match VIP singles for love not only in Dubai, but globally. Our clients and members trust us because of our amazing stats. We have a success rate of over 95 percent, with over 30 plus years of matchmaking experience, a database of 40k plus members, 100’s of marriages made and over 1000’s of happy couples marries.We have flawless systems that guarantee a successful partnership with our unlimited matchmaking memberships of three to nine months in Dubai and worldwide. So to be a part, you apply to be a client and apply for a screening call via christianamaxion.com. If accepted after a background check, we invite you for a screening call to assess whether or not our service is right for you. Then a preliminary match session takes place. If we believe we can help you find success, we will invite you for a (paid) video call to present you with qualified potential matches from our current database. This is an opportunity for you to give us feedback on your preferences and see your matchmaking candidates before securing a package. We use this call to assess how well we will get on as a matchmaker and client. After accepting a formal contract with an offer is sent across. Our current retainer fees for unlimited matchmaking packages range from $25,000 – $120,000 USD. Then the dating process begins. The more you date, the more curated the experience becomes to find your results, which is why we offer unlimited matchmaking opportunities during your membership. Later there’s a 360 ELEVATION (hands-on approach) where some clients will choose a more hands-on approach, which is my customized 360 elevation process. This can be anything from rapid transformational therapy, personal training, nutritional meal plan packages, personal styling, dental, coaching, and more! And, some clients prefer a more hands-off approach with only interviewing, vetting and curating the dating process. All packages include planning, booking, confirming dates, managing communication and feedback to optimize the matchmaking experience. We are in a very fortunate enough position where we get to choose our clients, which is why our success rate is so high.
      Talk us through your daily routine.
      No two days are the same, but I always make time for fitness. Whether tennis, golf, weightlifting, yoga or pilates. A healthy body leads to a clear mind which leads to great decision making and execution. Days can be filled with interviewing potential matches, planning dates, picking up gifts for dates for clients, booking services for clients (360 elevation), events, and all things that go into my new venture: building my app MAXION: Match & Meet
      What advice do you have for anyone looking to follow in the same footsteps?
      Apply to be on my team! I am currently expanding my team in the UAE and UK and looking to add ambitious women with outstanding personalities and a passion for connection. You can apply here.
      What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?
      No means try harder or you’re asking the wrong person. Remember, you only need one yes to make something happen. My dad ingrained in my brain from an early age that there’s nothing worse in this world than wasted talent. I always strive to be outstanding.
      And what is the worst?
      Don’t pay yourself a salary.
      What’s the biggest challenge you have had to overcome?
      Expanding my services into the tech world, building my app and being a first-time tech founder! All of the pains and lessons learned from failed co-founders, people taking advantage of you and underestimating you. But I love it! Tell me I can’t do something… the hate fuels me and inspires me to be outstanding in all that I do. I’m going to be a billionaire by 40.

      What’s your future for the brand?
      The incredible success and high demand of the core business of matchmaking HNWI has led to the creation of my app MAXION: Match & Meet. MAXION: Match & Meet is the first AI-Powered Social Matchmaking Concierge for ambitious individuals in expat-dominated cities in the GCC. Birthed from the 96% success rate of my core business of matchmaking high net worth individuals across the globe, MAXION will serve a much wider audience and create an exclusive space designed for accomplished and ambitious individuals to meet compatible friends and partners. We are mastering compatibility and concierge, so all you have to focus on is connection. In a city like Dubai, where you outsource everything, why not outsource your social life to the experts. www.themaxion.com And a television show.
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied  More

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      in health and weelbeing

      5 Green Flags You Have Healthy Boundaries

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      For years, I thought I had healthy boundaries. I’ve always been pretty good at saying no, so I figured I had it all down (because I genuinely thought that’s all a boundary was). But recently, I started to notice a pattern of irritability throughout my day, and I realized I was spending so much time cleaning up everyone else’s messes that I didn’t have time for my own. It turns out, I wasn’t setting clear boundaries at all! And how could I, when I didn’t even have clarity around the strategies that would meet my needs for support? It got me thinking: how many of us are actually tuned into our boundaries? How many of us know what it feels like when our boundaries are set and working properly? So I decided to reach out to Elisabeth T. Lilja, a licensed therapist based in Salt Lake City who specializes in trauma, to shed some light on what healthy boundaries look like and how to know if you have them in place.

      Meet the expert
      Elisabeth T. Lilja, LCSW MSW RYT
      LICENSED THERAPIST, and MASTERS OF SOCIAL WORK
      Lilja is a therapist and private practice owner of Salt City Therapy based in Salt Lake City, Utah. She specializes in trauma and helping people strengthen their relationship with their body and self-trust.

      What is a healthy boundary, anyway?
      Boundaries are more than just saying “no” to the things that don’t serve you (although that is a healthy component as you’ll read about soon). Lilja defined boundaries as “the needs, limits, and rules we set for ourselves.” That means you understand where your limits are, but you also understand what your needs are—and you’re able to create strategies (rules) to meet them. “Healthy boundaries within relationships are often informed by a healthy boundary relationship with ourselves,” Lilja said. “In relationships, we may look at healthy boundaries as created with connection over protection in mind.”
      Lilja reminded me that there will be times when protective boundaries in relationships are necessary, but a signal that your boundaries are serving you both is when they help build a sense of connection with one another. You are both clear on what you need, you know each other’s limits, and you respect each other’s rules.
      So now that we have a working definition of a healthy boundary down, let’s dive into the signs that you—and those you have a relationship with—are, in fact, working those boundaries the right way.
       
      Green Flags You Have Healthy Boundaries

      1. Your “no” is respected
      When you’re clear on what’s a “no” for you and you respect and support that “no,” that’s a healthy boundary you’ve created for yourself. And when the people in your life respect it too, that’s a healthy relationship boundary. Keep in mind, “respect” doesn’t necessarily mean no questions asked. The people in your life may still ask for clarification around your “no.” “What this means is we aren’t pushed, bullied, or manipulated into a ‘yes,’” Lilja clarified.
      When someone else has opinions surrounding your “no,” (which can often happen) it doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t respect it. “How these feelings are communicated and responded to can indicate the health of our relationships,” Lilja explained. If you are able to hold space for someone else’s feelings about your “no” while still feeling grounded in clarity around your “no,” that’s a major green flag that your boundaries are in the healthy zone.

      2. You engage in conflict with curiosity
      You’re showcasing healthy boundaries when you “are able to be in respectful, healthy conflict that doesn’t move into name-calling, abuse, manipulation, or harmful actions like stonewalling,” Lilja said. And one way to avoid participating in those behaviors is by engaging in curiosity. “Curiosity is a way we can establish healthy relating,” Lilja explained. When you’re curious about the other person’s experience, you’re less likely to make assumptions about their experience that would lead to blaming or shaming. 
      Some questions Lilja offered to check in with yourself about whether or not you’re engaging with curiosity were: “Am I inviting room for clarification over conclusions, assumptions, and defensiveness? Am I asking questions to seek clarification? Am I aware and able to communicate in a respectful way what I am feeling or experiencing and may need?” When you engage with curiosity, it gives you space to feel confident about your own boundaries while respecting the boundaries of another.

      3. You can express your needs and boundaries clearly
      “Needs, or boundary expression, indicates that we are able to advocate for ourselves, that we value our worth and getting [our] needs met in a relational space,” Lilja said. In other words, you know your boundaries are in a healthy zone when you feel safe expressing what you need. When you’re grounded in what you need because you know it’s what’s best for you, it’s a lot easier to feel confident in the ask, even when it can’t be met in the moment.
      “Again, this doesn’t mean that understanding and clarification can’t be wanted around the need or boundary expressed, or that the boundary or need will always be able to be met,” Lilja stated. “Rather, there is space for you to have and express your boundaries. And for persons you are in a relationship with to have the same.”

      4. Repair is important to you
      Even in the most well-meaning relationships, boundaries get crossed. “Ruptures happen in relationships—yes, even healthy ones,” Lilja said. When you prioritize repair after one of those ruptures, you’re setting yourself up for healthy boundaries in the future. Think of it as healthy boundary maintenance.
      According to Lilja, repair looks like learning how to extend an apology (this isn’t just saying the words, “I’m sorry”), taking accountability for how you might have harmed someone, and acknowledging what you will try to do differently in the future. “Repair is a critical part of a secure relationship and healthy relating,” she said. “It’s a good sign if you and someone else can seek repair in a relationship.”

      5. You’re consistent in your follow-through
      Something that’s always stuck with me is the concept that healing requires time and evidence. When you receive consistent proof that something is serving you over a period of time, you begin to believe in it. You start to feel safer in your experience. In the context of boundaries, Lilja noted that consistency is when we do what we say we are going to do. And if something needs to shift, we communicate.
      Having the experience of predictable follow-through builds and maintains a sense of trust that our boundaries will be consistently respected. “While it may not seem like it, follow-through is us upholding a boundary with ourselves,” she said. “Practicing boundaries with ourselves can lead to establishing, upholding, and maintaining boundaries with others.”

      Expert Tips To Help Strengthen Your Boundary Skills

      1. Notice when you are saying “yes” when you mean “no” 
      “Part of learning to find our ‘no’ is understanding why we might be saying ‘yes’ to something we want to say no to,” Lilja said. Getting to the bottom of what’s stopping you can help you shift out of this pattern. “A practice for this is to notice what belief may be coming up for you when you aren’t honoring a ‘no.’” For example, ask yourself what would happen if you said no. Are you worried the other person would feel let down, disappointed in you, hurt, or like you less? Maybe you feel unworthy to set that boundary?
      Then ask yourself if the outcome you anticipate is the outcome that would actually happen IRL. “While [your] feeling or belief is real, is it true?” Lilja asked. “Are there times you have said no and what you fear might not have happened? It can be scary to gather different information, and this is something the body needs to start to make changes.”

      2. Learn how to apologize and repair
      Having healthy boundaries is not just about setting our own boundaries, but respecting the boundaries of the other person. And a key piece of respecting others’ boundaries is apologizing when we (inevitably) cross a boundary. “This can be incredibly challenging for many reasons,” Lilja empathized. “Repairing is also something that can get easier with practice.” Also, apologizing is always important, even if you didn’t have bad intentions or didn’t mean to hurt someone. An apology invites empathy, or acknowledgment that the other person’s experience is real. 
      If you’re curious what an actual apology looks like, Lilja offered phrases you can use below, which she calls the anatomy of an apology. Each one is important when you’re genuinely apologizing and attempting to repair.

      I am sorry for…: The “for” is important here. Name what you are repairing or apologizing for. Think of this as the why. Why are you apologizing? This is how you take accountability for your actions.
      I could have done things differently by… or Moving forward I will…: This shows that you not only understand what you’re apologizing for, but you know how to change your actions moving forward. This is critical for repairing the relationship in the future.
      How are you feeling? or What do you need to feel better about this?: Checking in allows the other person the space to communicate with you what they need, and what you both can do to truly repair.

      3. Practice follow-through
      Following through with your boundaries is as simple as sticking to your promises. Do what you say you are going to do, and communicate when something needs to change. When you show up consistently for yourself, you build trust and a better understanding of which commitments are and are not serving you. Lilja suggested starting small, like making one promise to yourself that you can follow through with on a daily basis. This might look like a morning or nightly ritual (think: journaling or meditating) or setting a time to finish something on your to-do list. Notice how you feel when it’s time to follow through with something, and how it feels to actually do it. “Keeping track of your follow-through can be helpful,” Lilja said. “If you don’t follow through on what you have selected, what happened? What is this telling you? Are you noticing a pattern?” All of this information can help guide you to shift your habits toward more consistent follow-through.

      4. Seek therapy
      If you’re looking for extra support as you flex these skills, therapy is an excellent way to practice with a third party. “Therapy can be a wonderful way to learn how to strengthen boundaries with ourselves and others—creating the space to be curious about what we learned about being in a relationship with ourselves and others,” Lilja confirmed. It can also be a safe place for you and a partner to practice engaging in healthy boundaries with each other to ensure you’re setting up a framework that will support you for years to come.

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      Yes, You Can *Actually* Manifest a Better Love Life–Here’s How

      by

      Growing up, most of us learned about dating, sex, and relationships from an issue of Cosmopolitan or an episode of Sex and The City, not by knowing how to manifest. But a few years ago I was introduced to manifestation and it quite literally changed my life (which, by definition, is the whole point of manifesting). As more and more people started to swear by the Law of Attraction for increasing their wealth, popularity, or happiness, it only made sense that it would be used to improve love lives too. 
      After all, some of the biggest questions throughout human history are matters of the heart (“They love me; they love me not”), and everything from Shakespeare’s sonnets to Nancy Meyers’ rom-coms tries to explain the secret to a happy relationship. So could manifestation really be the answer to kicking ass on dates and dating apps, improving your relationship, or overall feeling more satisfied in your relationship status? I asked Dana Lord Lewis, a manifestation expert and founder of Energy Think, for all her tips and tricks on how (and why!) manifestation can transform your love life. Take a break from swiping and read on to achieve a fulfilling love life in 2023.

      Meet the expert
      Dana Lord Lewis
      Energetics Expert and Founder of Energy Think
      Dana Lord Lewis is a thought leader in the realm of manifestation and the founder of Energy Think, a science-based modality that coaches individuals to achieve their dream lives.

      What is “manifesting” and how does it work?
      Manifestation is all the buzz across TikTok and The New York Times Best Seller list, but the concept of the Law of Attraction is nothing new, rooted in ideas that come from various philosophical and religious traditions. The idea of manifesting has been covered in dozens of self-help books and discussed by thought leaders around the world, from Oprah to Deepak Chopra to Iyanla Vanzant. The concept is essentially creating reality or bringing something tangible into your life based on attraction and belief. For example, if you think it, believe it, and then act on it, it will come (the key words being “belief” and “action,” since hoping for something alone isn’t enough). But that’s not all. 
      “When people talk about manifestation, it typically has to do with bringing something intentional to fruition,” Lewis explained. “But manifestation also comes from potentials of the unconscious mind. Many people do not realize that they have, on an unconscious level, called it in.” In other words, manifestation does not only come into play when you want a dream promotion, relationship, or house; whether consciously or unconsciously, our thoughts, worries, and beliefs can become our reality too. 

      How can manifestation affect your dating life?
      Since we are constantly manifesting thoughts into existence (whether consciously or unconsciously), it can affect every area of your life—including your love life. Lewis said that she often sees the negative effects of unconscious manifestation in relationships because of worry and fear. “A lot of limiting beliefs play themselves out in the dating world. Our insecurities are triggered, and therefore, we feel fearful and we take action that comes from that fear.” Maybe this looks like sending a text out of insecurity or not sending a text to protect your vulnerability. Maybe this means you tend to date multiple people at the same time because it feels scary to get serious, or maybe this means you always need a serious partner because it makes you feel safe.
      All of our insecurities look different in our dating lives and relationships, but they can be holding us back from a happy love life. “What you do with your energy when you are emotionally challenged is the most important thing to ensure you aren’t sabotaging a love life you may want,” Lewis suggested. But just like we want to get out of certain thought patterns and behaviors to avoid the love lives we don’t want, we can also manifest what we do want.

      3 steps to manifest a better love life:
      1. Develop self-awareness
      The Laws of Attraction are not about stating what you want and expecting to get it like a spoiled kid in a toy store. Instead, the Laws of Attraction state that the way you behave or feel about yourself attracts certain energies to you. When it comes to dating, that means the energy you’re giving out is what you will attract in dates or a partner. “How you treat yourself internally is going to be projected out onto others,” Lewis explained. “This means what you put out, you will get back, perhaps in a different form but with the same character.” So the first important step is to know what you are attracting by developing more self-awareness. What do you do when you feel under pressure? How do you handle insecurities? Why do you want (or not want) a relationship?

      2. Shift out of energy habits that don’t serve your goals
      Once you’re aware of the energy you’re giving off and what you truly want, you can make adjustments to get what you want. For example, if you’re looking for a healthy, lasting relationship but have rooted insecurities that cause you to be jealous or controlling, you may unconsciously attract partners who will give you reason to be jealous or controlling. Work on your own insecurities and prioritize self-love, and you’ll begin attracting partners who will love you like you love you.

      3. Take ownership of your life
      Lewis said the most powerful step is the last one, which she calls “Radical Self Ownership.” You must truly believe and realize that your life is in your control. Life doesn’t happen to you; it happens by you. “The third step is where you realize that you are the creator of your reality, both its pleasure and its pain,” she explained. “When this power is recognized and embraced, everything changes—especially the way you relate to those closest to you. Ultimately, the more you can learn about yourself and accept yourself, the more you will experience love with others.”

      How to improve your love life if…
      You’re single…
      If you’re feeling exhausted or stressed out about the dating apps, online profiles, and planning IRL meet-ups, don’t push through in hopes you’ll achieve the love life of your dreams (because you won’t!). PSA: Dating does not have to be tiring and should be enjoyable if you’re going to manifest a better love life. “Dating feels tiring when there is fear experienced around it because fear is immensely draining,” Lewis explained. “When you take away fear, dating is a source of energy.” In other words, dating should be fun. If it’s not, you might be dating out of fear of being alone or feel too much fear of rejection in order to actually enjoy the process (more on that below). 
      Instead of dating from a place of fear, date from a place of enjoyment. “There are so many benefits to this phase of life,” Lewis said. “If you are single, it is a gift. If you’re single and want to be in a relationship, singlehood is a gift that won’t last forever.” Lewis recommended spending time getting to know yourself better and to try something different to “shake up your current understanding of the world.” Also, remember that all situations exist to benefit you—and yes, that means even single phases, bad first dates, or hurtful ghosting. “Take this opportunity to go beyond the desire for a relationship, and connect to the part of you that feeds this idea that being ‘alone’ is negative.”

      You’re in a relationship…
      So you’re in a relationship but looking to kick it up a notch? Maybe you’ve been together forever and it’s feeling a little complacent, or you’ve recently coupled up but your communication is off. There’s a lot you can do to manifest a better love life too, and—no surprise—it also starts with getting to know yourself better. Lewis recommended getting to know how you like to cycle energy, which can cause patterns in relationships. For example, if you’re a very giving person, you may fall into a pattern of putting others first and yourself last, or if you’re a perfectionist and self-critical, you may be overly critical of your partner or relationship as well. Also, if you have the mentality that your relationship is holding you back from other dreams (like moving across the country, having kids, or getting your dream job), it can lead to disconnect and resentment.
      Lewis explained that (as long as there are no toxic behaviors) the areas where your relationship needs improvement is a reflection of your own energetic state and the way you see yourself. If you give too much to your partner, work on giving more to yourself (instead of expecting them to give more to you). If you’re critical of your relationship, work on being kinder to yourself, and the way you talk about your partner or relationship will follow. “There are so many things you can do to make yourself more in alignment, which will bring happiness and improve all relationships,” Lewis said.  But beware: Since the work is coming from working on yourself, it can be tempting to think that you’re “doing all the work” and fault your partner for not doing the same. Lewis claimed the best advice she has for couples is to not have expectations of your partner to better the relationship to the same degree that you do. In other words, don’t keep score, which can manifest a relationship you don’t want. “To depend on someone else for your better life (even in a relationship) is a losing battle and puts dependency on them for your happiness,” Lewis explained. “To be truly happy in your relationship, the utmost priority should be your own alignment, independent of all others.”

      You’re worried about rejection…
      And now for the majority of us: the ones who avoid going on dates because we’re worried we won’t be liked, or the ones who put too much pressure on our relationships because we don’t feel secure. When you’re worried about rejection, you are literally manifesting a negative love life. Instead, shift your perspective to believe that rejection is not real (no, really). “When we experience the feelings of rejection, we are experiencing it because we have rejected ourselves,” Lewis explained. In other words, everything you know about your relationships to other people is from your own perception. Therefore, you can shift your perception of a bad date, break up, fight with your partner, or Tinder match who never responded to not include rejection at all. 
      All it takes to make this shift is a few key changes. Lewis recommended spending more time on the people and things that fill you with joy. For example, maybe limit the happy hours with the coworkers who complain about their relationships or gossip about the office and spend more time with the friend who’s really into yoga (and is good at motivating you too) or your sister who is so passionate about her non-profit. Beyond the people you spend time with, spend more time on your own fostering your interests, taking care of your body, and making the effort to heal wounds by going to therapy or gratitude journaling. We only experience fear of rejection when we believe our worth is tied to whether we fit the bill of what another person thinks of us, so work on your own worth. “When you live in alignment and are nourishing yourself, it genuinely won’t matter to you if people vibe with that or not,” Lewis agreed. 

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