More stories

  • in

    Why Everyone Is Playing Pickleball Right Now—And How You Can Try It, Too

    I first heard about pickleball while listening to my favorite podcast, What We Said. The hosts were chatting about how competitive they had become when playing each other with their husbands. Once they mentioned how easy pickleball was to pick up, I knew it was going to be my new hobby. I will take any chance to do an out-of-the-house activity that’s active and requires a learning curve. But first things first: I had to find a partner to play with (and learn to play, for that matter). That’s when Operation Convince My Husband to Learn Pickleball with Me commenced. Luckily, it didn’t take much for me to get him on board.
    My parents conveniently own a pickleball set, so we borrowed their paddles to learn with. For our first match, we committed to trying it out for 30 minutes. Before we knew it, we checked our watches and a whole hour had passed. Within the first five minutes of hitting the ball back and forth, I knew we would both love this activity.
    Now, we play about three times a week, usually on weeknights after work or on Saturday mornings to replace a gym session. I now understand why some say it’s one of the fastest-growing sports right now. Our daily lives changed a lot over the past few years thanks to COVID, and I think the popularity of pickleball is one of the best things to come out of it. Don’t get me wrong, pickleball has always been a pretty popular activity. But especially with the rise of TikTok, word spread fast about how fun and easy it is to learn. If you’d like to try pickleball for yourself, read on for some helpful info on how to play and everything you need to get started.

    What is pickleball?
    It’s essentially a cross between ping pong and tennis. On a smaller version of a tennis court, you and a partner (or two teams of two) use paddles to hit a plastic ball back and forth over a low net. Aside from a few specific rules (like how you serve and when to let the ball bounce first before hitting it), that’s all you really need to know to get started. You can learn more about how to play here.
    To find a pickleball court near you, start with a good old Google search. We found a regional park near us that costs $3 to enter and usually has open courts. I searched for “public pickleball court near [enter your city name]” and vetted them from Google reviews.

    What’s so great about it?
    What I love most about pickleball is that it can be as difficult or easy as you want it to be. For now, my husband and I love just playing for fun. We try to hit the ball back and forth as many times as possible without hitting it out of bounds and don’t usually keep score. It’s just fun getting outside and being active, but I’m sure some flirty competitiveness is in our future as we get better at the game. We are still learning!
    Anyone can play pickleball—it doesn’t matter what your physical capabilities are, and you don’t have to be super strong or fast. It’s really about practice and friendly competition. For us, pickleball is a fun activity to do as a couple that gets us out of the house and helps us stay active. I also love how accomplished I feel after playing at the end of a long work day, rather than sitting and watching TV. 

    What do you need to play?
    You will need a partner to play with, as well as a pickleball set, which includes two paddles and usually a few balls. If you want to play with four people total (doubles), then you’ll need four paddles. To make learning as easy as possible, I recommend investing in a quality pickleball set because it’s easier to direct the ball with good paddles. 
    Ready to start playing? Grab all the pickleball essentials below.

    These Feel-Good Hobbies Will Solve All of Your “I’m Bored” Woes More

  • in

    The Hot Girl Walk Essentials Our Editors Swear By

    If I had a dollar every time that the words “too good to be true” traveled across my mind on any given TikTok binge, I’d have enough money to fund an all-inclusive Croatian vacation for me and 14 of my closest friends. From the winged liner hack that left me unironically resembling Julia Fox’s Paris-Fashion-Week-with-Kanye stint to the time someone swore that balsamic vinegar and sparkling water would serve as a healthy-yet-tasty alternative to Coca-Cola (many regrets), I’ve had my fair share of eye rolls. But if there’s one TikTok trend that took me by surprise and actually improved my life, it’s the infamous Hot Girl Walk.
    The Hot Girl Walk is a multitasker’s dream. There’s no better way to get your steps in, soak up some vitamin D, listen to a mood-boosting playlist, catch up on your favorite podcast, phone a friend, or get outside on a work-from-home day than by putting your favorite sneaks on and getting after it. If you’re looking for a low-impact way to get fit, improve your mental health, spend some time with yourself, and reconnect with the world around you, the HGW is the cure. Here are the Hot Girl Walk essentials our editors rely on:

    SeaChange LTT Sneakers
    When you’re walking for miles on end, there are two necessary shoe features that come to mind: comfy and cooling. With a cushioned memory foam footbed, soft, buttery smooth vegan corn leather, and cooling channels to promote airflow, these sneaks from SeaVees check all of our boxes. And it doesn’t hurt that they’re easy on the eyes.
    Use code EVERYGIRL for 20% off of your first purchase at SeaVees + enter our giveaway HERE to enter to win two pairs of SeaVees shoes of your choice, free!

    Adjustable Fanny Pack
    What’s a HGW without a belt bag that’ll help you keep all of your knick-knacks on your person—and look good doing it? We love this one from Amazon because it’s affordable, can be dressed down for a hot girl walk or up for a Sunday brunch with the gals, and it’s adjustable to guarantee the perfect fit every time.

    Retro Sunglasses
    As much as we love strolling on a sunny day, a blinding sunrise or sunset is a lot prettier to take in when you’re wearing a pair of sunnies that help to make the view a lot less painful. Protect your eyeballs without breaking the bank with this two-pack of retro sunglasses and thank us later.

    For your tunes, the latest and greatest episode from your podcast of choice, or getting all of the tea from your bestie, a pair of Airpods is the way to go. As much as we love a pair of noise-canceling, over-the-ear headphones, these in-ear ones help us to enjoy our audio while still being aware of our surroundings.

    Obé x Bala Bangles
    Adjustable Ankle Weights
    If you’re looking to add a bit of a challenge to your next walk, look no further than these adjustable ankle or wrist weights from Bala. Bala Bangles are an editor-fav for good reason: They’re sleek, fit super comfortably, come in so many colors, and help us to add a (very light and reasonable) bit of burn. 10/10 recommend.

    Audiobook Subscription
    Between new Netflix launches, pending book-to-movie or show adaptations, and the startling amount of Love Island (UK) episodes I need to catch up on, my TBR list has been absolutely suffering. I started listening to audiobooks on my Hot Girl Walks to help me to carve out some time to catch up on my ever-growing reading list, and it’s been such a game-changer. I get so caught up in the storyline that I end up walking for way farther than I anticipated which is always a pleasant surprise.

    La Roche-Posay
    Tinted Mineral Sunscreen
    The perfect HGW sunscreen exists, and it’s this tinted mineral sunscreen from La-Roche-Posay. If you’re worried about running into your ex when you’re out and about and want a subtle, effortless glow, this stuff is the way to go. This sunscreen is my personal favorite because it’s tinted and brings life to my face without being too illuminating (sorry Glow Screen, I just can’t do it), and helps me to protect my face while still feeling super lightweight.

    Collapsable Water Bottle
    There’s nothing that can ruin a HGW quite like having to hold something in your hand while walking for miles, so if you’re looking for a water bottle that’ll be ready when you are, consider this collapsable one from Amazon. It’s super affordable and folds so tightly that you’ll be able to fit it into your fanny pack until you pass a refill station when you’re ready to fill up. Once it’s full, it does have a strap, so it can hang from your index finger which is a 10/10 solution in my book.

    Matching Set
    No HGW is made complete without a matching set—sorry, I don’t make the rules. If you want to fully dive into the aesthetic surrounding the trend, this is a necessary add that will cary you from the couch to your nearest hiking trail and beyond. This ribbed tank-meets-sports-bra set is high quality, (I’m so sorry, I have to say it) buttery soft, and totally worth the investment. Plus, we love that you can choose separate sizes for your top and bottoms—tell us why all sets aren’t sold this way!

    Portable Charger
    It never fails that when I decide to go on my HGW after dinner, my phone is near death and threatening to turn off mid-walk—which is neither fun nor safe. I got this portable charger last month and absolutely love that it’s compact and doesn’t require a separate cord to plug into your phone. It’s been such a simple add to my routine that has made my life infinitely better, and I recommend it to everyone I know.


    Our Editors Spill: The One Fashion Essential They Can’t Live Without

    This post contains a sponsored inclusion of SeaVees, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

  • in

    The Journal Prompt You Should Try Tonight, Based on Your Enneagram Type

    The Enneagram test can be an enlightening tool for self-discovery. Knowing your type gives you insight into what motivates, challenges, and fulfills you, as well as how you experience life’s ups and downs. If you want to delve a little deeper, pairing journal prompts with your Enneagram type is one of the best ways to process and reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences from the day. By exploring your unique personality traits through journaling, you can gain a better understanding of yourself and the world around you. Kick off your inner dialogue with one of these journal prompts recommended for each Enneagram type.

    Describe in detail an emotion you felt today.
    Type Ones strive for perfection in everything they do and often boast a strong sense of self-discipline. Although this type experiences the same range of messy human emotions as everyone else, they may not freely express their anger, sadness, nervousness, or even joy for fear of judgment. Tap into those feelings with a journal prompt that invites you to describe an emotion with as much detail as possible. What provoked this emotion? What did it physically feel like? How did you react in your words or actions?

    How did I take care of myself today?
    Empathetic, selfless Twos are all about taking care of others, but they have a tendency to brush off their own needs. Making time for self-care isn’t always high on their to-do lists, so this journal prompt encourages Twos to reflect on moments throughout the day when they prioritized their own well-being. It could be as simple as describing a nutritious meal or the feeling after a long, steamy shower. Make a list of the ways you put yourself first today, as a reminder that your nurturing nature should extend inward as well.

    What value did I contribute to the world today?
    The Achiever’s basic desire is to feel valuable and worthwhile, and they often seek this feeling through personal accomplishments. The challenge for this type is to separate their self-worth from the attention of others and other exterior signs of success. Instead of focusing on specific achievements or tasks on your to-do list, consider the value you brought to other people or your environment today. Perhaps you made someone’s day with a small act of kindness, or maybe you simply tended to your houseplants and contributed to the growth of new life. Practice finding the value in your daily doings, no matter how insignificant they may seem.

    Describe your day using as many sensory details as possible.
    Type Fours can be highly emotive and introspective, which means they tend to spend a lot of time in their heads. Rather than ruminating on your feelings, challenge yourself to focus instead on the concrete details of your day. Think through something you did that day in terms of what it looked, smelled, sounded, and physically felt like. Aim to describe things exactly as they are, without exaggerating or minimizing. The goal is to practice being fully present in whatever state you’re in.

    How did I step back and unplug today?
    With their intense focus and unquenchable curiosity, it’s easy for Type Fives to get preoccupied and distracted from daily life. If you’ve ever gotten lost in a book or fixated on learning a new skill, you know what I’m talking about. For this journal prompt, think about what you did today to unwind and give yourself a mental break. This could entail cooking a favorite meal, chatting with a friend, or simply going for a walk. Jot down both the feelings and physical sensations that came along with this activity.

    What is the best thing that happened to me today?
    A Type Six is prone to worst-case scenario thinking. Craving safety and security, they have a habit of running through all the “what ifs” in a situation, fixating on problems that haven’t appeared yet. If you feel that anxiety creeping in, flip your fear-based thinking and focus instead on the best thing that happened that day. Did something turn out better than you expected? Did you solve a problem that was stressing you out or find a moment of unexpected joy? Describe the good in each day as a reminder that your anxious thoughts aren’t always your reality.

    When did I feel most present and grounded today?
    Busy-body Enthusiasts thrive on adventure and excitement, but while they’re flying from one activity to the next, they may forget to pause and enjoy the moment. This journal prompt invites you to slow down and think about how you managed your attention that day. Tune into the times when you felt wholly present and grounded in the current moment. What were you doing? Who were you with? How can you bring that same mentality to your interactions tomorrow?

    How did I practice openness today?
    Self-reliant Type Eights prefer to take charge of themselves rather than yield to others. Always wanting to be in control of the situation, they often struggle with vulnerability. Instead of shying away from it, hone in on that feeling and consider how you opened yourself up to others today. Did you accept help when you needed it, share something that made you feel vulnerable, or simply choose to listen before speaking? Did it make you feel stronger or less so?

    How did I show up for myself today?
    The Peacemaker’s agreeable nature means they’re more likely to go along with others than stir the pot by standing up for themselves. They tend to tune out their own needs and wants as a way to keep the peace, which can end up creating more problems in the long run. For this journal prompt, turn your focus inward and consider how you participated in the world around you. Did you assert your own opinion, advocate for your needs, and lean in instead of zoning out? If you struggled with this today, how can you do better tomorrow?

    What You Should Read Next Based On Your Zodiac Sign More

  • in

    Everything You Need To Know About Your Enneagram Type—And Why It Matters

    If you’re a wellness fan and an incessant Instagram scroller, chances are, you’ve seen numbers appearing in the posts and bios of some of your favorite influencers or maybe also a number and then ‘w’ and another number? This is the influencer’s Enneagram sign and a calling card for self-love and awareness. While Meyer-Briggs has ruled the personality-typing roost in previous years, the Enneagram has quickly become a favorite self-discovery technique.
    Surprisingly, the Enneagram isn’t exactly anything new—it actually has ancient roots, with some arguing that it can be traced back to the geometry of Pythagorean mathematics. Easily proving age ain’t nothing but a number, its popularity today rests on several things: the simplicity of its format (it is made up of nine types, each with different aspects of personality), behaviors, fears, and desires.
    “The Enneagram is a personality typing tool that breaks down the patterns of human behavior into nine distinct types. Each type has a specific motivation, along with basic fears, levels of health, and so forth. It’s particularly helpful in showing us our blind spots and coping mechanisms,” explained Sarajane Case of Enneagram and Coffee. “I think we’re seeing our culture through a kind of revolution—a desire for more self-awareness and inclusion. The Enneagram is a great way for us to create dynamic and open relationships with ourselves and others.”
    And why it’s gained popularity is because once you dig into it, it goes way deeper than just a personality test. “It’s a personalized roadmap for self-growth, relational health, and more,” shared Laura Miltenberger and Jennifer Andrew of XO, Enneagram. “There’s a lot of hope in the Enneagram because it’s all about the freedom to change and grow. It’s not about labels. Instead of just speaking to who you are right now, the Enneagram teaches you about who you have the potential to be.”
    But it doesn’t stop with learning your type. This is just the start of the Enneagram journey. Once you get into it, there are lots of ways it can help you reflect, develop, and evolve your thinking, behaviors, and relationships. To help you get started, we’ve broken it down into nine things to know about the Enneagram or—if you’re already an Enneagrammer—some new ideas from true Enneagram experts.

    Everyone’s Enneagram Journey Is Different
    We come to the Enneagram for all sorts of different reasons. Whether to gain greater confidence and self-awareness, to help us in our work and career, to enhance our relationships, or all of these and more, the Enneagram is an evolving tool for self-discovery and helps foster empathy and compassion for others.
    “I first started working with the Enneagram as a way to better relate to my partner,” Case shared. “We found it initially helpful in understanding our differences. As time has gone on, I’ve worked with the Enneagram to bring more awareness to my own patterns of behavior and how I show up both positively and negatively in my life and the life of others.”
    As friends who work on XO, Enneagram together, Andrew and Miltenberger both found their way to the Enneagram on very different paths. “I first began to use the Enneagram as a holistic health coach,” Miltenberger explained. “I was so impressed with its ability to help my clients find more self-awareness, tools for their relationships, and insight into their typical ways of coping with stress. But when I finally found my own number, I wasn’t just enlightened, I was moved. The Enneagram spoke to parts of myself that I’d forgotten about, important pieces of who I am and who I want to be.”
    It can be an uncomfortable process at first, Andrew said. “It made me recognize some unhealthy patterns I had in my life. It also helped me put words to parts of myself that I’d never been able to describe, which made me feel seen and understood.”

    The Types
    “The Enneagram describes nine different types—nine different ways of seeing the world,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Personality quizzes and assessments often deal with surface behaviors and traits, but the Enneagram speaks to deeper parts of who you are. It doesn’t just teach you about your strengths, it brings light to your shortcomings too. So when used mindfully, it has the power to set you on a path toward the healthiest and most whole version of yourself.”
    The nine Types are commonly known by the following names, but these can differ slightly:

    The Perfectionist – The Rational, Idealistic Type: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
    The Helper – The Caring, Interpersonal Type: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.
    The Achiever – The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.
    The Individualist – The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
    The Investigator – The Intense, Cerebral Type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
    The Loyalist – The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
    The Enthusiast – The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.
    The Challenger – The Powerful, Dominating Type: self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
    The Peacemaker – The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.

    These descriptions—from The Enneagram Institute—are just a brief overview of the types. To really get into it and discover which type you may be, it’s important to read detailed descriptions of all of them, Case advised.
    “Once you find your type, you’ll likely know. Reading the description of your type can feel a bit like reading your own journals back to yourself,” Case explained. “I know it’s tempting to take a test and get a quick answer or to rely on someone else to tell you your type. I want to challenge you to take the time to research yourself. You are so worth the exploration.”

    Source: Caroline Sharpnack for The Everygirl

    But How Do You Know When You Know?
    This is a question many on the road through the Enneagram will spend a lot of time pondering. And that’s totally normal. It’s super easy to believe you’re one type, then read about another that resonates and feel confused about which you could be. It’s also very easy to mistype too, as there are lots of similarities between them. “By reading more and by listening to the experience of others who have already discovered their type, you’ll begin to narrow down your dominant type,” Miltenberger and Andrew said. “Tests and quizzes can be fun, but don’t rely on your results, as they are frequently inaccurate. You’re the only one who can discover your type. It takes some introspection, some reading, and a willingness to look at yourself with honesty.”
    And uncomfortable as it may be, it also helps to look at the more negative aspects of the types as well as positive ones to really help shine a light on your true type. “The truth is that we all can or would like to relate to the positive aspects of each type,” Case added. “It’s the difficult or trying elements that force us to get really honest. It can feel a bit like being exposed when we read the lower-level behaviors of our number. When you read a type and your cheeks get red and you want to hide under the table—that may be your number.”
    Both XO, Enneagram and Enneagram and Coffee offer lots of resources on their Instagram accounts to help with this discovery process—even sharing fun memes and videos, which, while lighthearted, can actually further help the identification process and really help bring that lightbulb moment for you.

    What Are Wings?
    Once you’ve found your type or, at least, the one you feel most resonates with you for now, you can explore the wings of that type and drill down into the type on a deeper level. Wings are the numbers directly adjacent to your Enneagram type, so for example, a type 1 would have type 9 or type 2 as its potential wings.
    “They come into play as a way to balance out the personality patterns of our number. We all have both wings available to us, yet we typically lean into one or the other for support. The ultimate goal is to balance out your wings to fully support your personality,” Case explained. “You’re the same type throughout your life, but your wing can actually shift and change as your life does. Think of your wing as what you bring in to round out your personality patterns. You may need something different for that at different stages of life.”
    For some of us, the wing helps confirm our type and solidify it; for others, the wing descriptions could be completely off and help us reassess. But don’t stress about the wings—the most important thing on the Enneagram is to discover your type. It’s OK to remain undecided on your wing. Case has a great podcast episode dedicated just to wings.

    And What About Subtypes?
    Once you’re in the Enneagram zone, you can read on about subtypes or “instincts.” There are three of these, and typically, you’ll figure out one that is dominant for you. They are more primal and instinctual than the personality aspects of the types and wings but are often the powerful subconscious driving force behind many of our life choices and actions. Your dominant one will relate to what is a priority for you—what you need to get what you want from this world and what area of life you usually attend to first.
    “The three subtypes are One-On-One, Social, and Self-Preservation,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Your dominant subtype describes the way you most instinctually interact with the world around you. It describes what you most naturally pay attention to and what you initially respond to. The One-On-One subtype pays most attention to individual relationships, the Social subtype to the group or social structures, and the Self-Preservation subtype to needs and perceived danger. Bringing awareness to your subtype is a great opportunity to create more health and balance in your life.”
    Understanding this adds another layer of insight into all aspects of who you are and why you are, and you can use this to really dig deeper into your self-discovery and development, helping to identify anything you feel is working or not working for you.

    Source: TONL
    You’ve Found Your Type—Now What?
    Your journey doesn’t end with the identification of your type. In fact, this is where it all begins. Working with the Enneagram can help you feel validated, understood, and, best of all, help forge a greater sense of self-compassion. On the flip side, it can also make you confront some of your more challenging aspects. And this is where it can get a little harder but can also be incredibly rewarding.
    The first step to working with it is really about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and then establishing a support plan for them, Case recommended. “Celebrate your strengths and build a life that helps them shine. Open your eyes to your blind spots, noting your motivators and how you receive love, exploring your contribution to relationships, softening your path out of behavior patterns, and finally turning that into something beautiful and sharing it with the world.”
    A good way to do this is to read a variety of websites, books, and Instagram accounts, and listen to podcasts—really get immersed in all the Enneagram resources out there. Many Enneagram experts will also suggest you journal daily, even if just for short bursts on guided topics tailored to your Enneagram type and your discoveries and thoughts. If you’re a list person, make lists of things you’re identifying and learning or what you want to achieve.
    “There’s no wrong way to practice this,” Miltenberger and Andrew added. “Let the Enneagram teach you about yourself. But remember to approach all of these things with a lot of kindness and gentleness toward yourself: You have plenty of time to get to wherever it is that you want to go. You’re multifaceted—for every shadow in you, there’s a diamond, too. You might have growing pains now, but remember that you’re already strong. You might have room for growth, but you’re loved and acceptable already, just as you are.”

    Lean In…
    The Enneagram isn’t just beneficial to your self-acceptance; it radiates out and can be a useful tool in supporting you in the workplace, for your career progression and life goals, and in your relationships. “It’s a tool to allow you access to self-awareness that often takes people decades to figure out,” Case said. “The more aware we are of our own patterns and what we bring to our relationships, our job, and our habits, the more ease we can bring into them through owning our strengths and creating a support plan for our weaknesses.”
    It can really help you work on your compassion and empathy for others as well as yourself. “Since the Enneagram helps you identify your stress patterns and coping mechanisms, it also illuminates which self-care practices will be most vital and impactful for you,” Miltenberger and Andrew pointed out. “And when it comes to relationships, the Enneagram helps you understand where other people are coming from and how to interact with them most effectively. With your work, the Enneagram is amazing for identifying your innate strengths and values, which leads to better career choices and fulfillment.”
    It’s also valuable information to bring into therapy sessions to help a partner or others generally understand you better. “More than anything, the Enneagram is a great tool for language,” Case added. “It gives us a way to express what we’re going through, why we’re going through it, and what we may need.”

    What If You’re Not Happy With Your Type?
    OK, so let’s admit it: On face value, some of the types sound a little more appealing than others. But the Enneagram, in all its egalitarian wisdom, is about just that: equality. There is no best or worst—all the types have their strengths and blind spots, and all are on the path to self-awareness.
    “If you feel unhappy with your type, it probably means you’ve discovered something that your personality has been holding you back from, so there’s a little grieving that comes with that,” Miltenberger and Andrew shared. “We all have different ways of getting in our own way. But awareness is the first step in any sort of change or growth. So try to see this new awareness as an opportunity to find more balance in your life. You’re brave for wanting to look at yourself with honesty and wanting to grow, but be gentle with yourself in the process.”

    To Test Or Not To Test?
    Many experts recommend against doing a test to determine your type—usually because there are so many that can offer inaccurate or misleading results for many of us, and identifying our type or feeling confident we’ve picked the “right” one for us are legit concerns. Mistyping can also be an issue. At this point, it’s probably worth taking a test to reinforce your type or help you see something you might have missed. There’s one test that Case recommends as having one of the best records on accuracy—this can be found at and is worth a go for us type-TBDs.
    There are also lots of books, podcasts, inspiring IG accounts, and other ways to keep learning about the Enneagram. Tune into Case’s fab podcast Enneagram and Coffee to learn more about her and her wonderful insights.
    XO, Enneagram has a great site full of resources and its Instagram account offers ideas, prompts, self-care challenges, journaling practices, and a direct line to quiz them on all your Enneagram questions. For reading, they recommend The Road Back to You, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, The Path Between Us, The Sacred Enneagram, and The Complete Enneagram.
    Oh, and in case you’re wondering by now, this article was written by a 9 wing 1 who took a few gos at finding her type, but once she did, well, it was a real revelation.

    The Enneagram Type You Should Date, Based on Your Own Enneagram More

  • in

    The Summer Wellness Trend You Should Try, Based on Your Enneagram

    As a new season fast approaches–one filled with warmer weather, beach days, and hopefully a few long weekend getaways–it’s the perfect time to switch up your wellness routine and add something new to the mix. Wellness trends have been popping up everywhere (#grateful that TikTok introduced us to the Hot Girl Walk back in 2021 and YouTube showed us the 12-3-30 workout that had everyone running to buy a treadmill). The list of wellness trends to try is endless and continues to grow, but not every trend will be the right one for you. To make it easier, we’ve broken down the hottest summer wellness trends and picked out which one you should try based on your enneagram.

    CBD Oil
    Type Ones are all about getting things done. They are purposeful, self-controlled, and rational, and while they are known to excel at the office, they may need a little extra help relaxing and chilling out, which is why CBD oil is the perfect trend for a Type One. Whether you’re adding a few drops to your morning coffee or taking a roller on the go, CBD oil is perfect for helping to ease the nerves and relax a little during high-stress moments. Everyone needs a little help in managing stress, but especially for a Type One, CBD will be their new best friend.
    To try our favorite, use code THEEVERYGIRL for 20% off your first order!

    Facial Massage
    Type Twos are known to be very caring and generous, but it’s time to put some of that care back onto themselves. The perfect wellness trend for a Type Two involves a little indulgence and pampering, like giving yourself a facial massage. Invest in an ice roller, gua sha tool, or a jade roller, and set aside some time each week for a facial massage. Not only will it feel incredibly relaxing, but these tools can also help with lymphatic drainage, puffiness, and wrinkles. Talk about a win-win!

    12-3-30 Workout
    Type Threes value wellness activities that make them feel good and challenge them to better themselves. As a driven and success-oriented Type Three, the ever-popular 12-3-30 workout is an easy choice for their fitness routine. The workout involves setting a treadmill to a 12 percent incline and walking at 3 miles per minute for 30 minutes. It may sound easy, but do not be fooled–this workout can be intense. Type Threes will love incorporating it into their new routine and feel accomplished after completing the workout and seeing their progress. 

    Guided Journaling
    Type Fours can be sensitive and withdrawn while still being expressive. This combination makes guided journaling the perfect wellness trend for them. It is a creative practice that allows them to express their inner thoughts and emotions in a safe place, with equal parts guidance and imagination. There are many different types of guided journals available: The Five-Minute Journal, gratitude journals, or even Q&A journals, which ask introspective questions. Type Fours will be eager to try out this creative wellness trend. 

    As the perceptive and innovative one of the group, Type Fives are known for being curious and willing to try new things. Adaptogens (the plant-based herb known for reducing stress) are right up their alley. While this wellness trend has been circling on Instagram and TikTok for quite some time now, it has roots in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurvedic healing traditions. Try adding the powder to juices and smoothies, or find in a tea form as well.

    Meditation App
    The best wellness trend for a Type Six is a meditation app. Sixes are known to be security-oriented, responsible, and sometimes anxious. Creating a meditation practice will help any Six remove anxious feelings and incorporate more zen into their life. There are so many meditation apps to choose from–Headspace, Unplug, SuperHuman–and each one has lots of options for any situation (walking meditations, sleep meditations, five-minute meditations, etc.). Start a 30-day challenge and see how it goes.

    Digital Detox
    Type Sevens are busy, spontaneous, and sometimes a little scattered. With the chaos of day-to-day life, a digital detox is just what they need to unwind and relax. Taking a break from all social media platforms for a week or simply unplugging for an hour every night before bed will do wonders for a Type Seven. In a world that is deeply attached to technology, unplugging for a period of time can have vast benefits on sleep and mental well-being. 

    Cold Therapy
    Type Eights are powerful, willful, and not afraid to back down from a challenge. So naturally, something challenging like cold therapy is a great fit for their confident spirit. There are different ways to practice cold therapy, like plunging into a cold pool or shower or in a cryo-chamber, but either way, cold therapy can boost the metabolism and help reduce inflammation, swelling, and sore muscles. This wellness trend is an intense practice and can have great results, but it’s important to make sure it is done safely, so talk to your doctor about the best cold therapy methods for you.

    Hot Girl Walk
    As the easy-going, agreeable, and receptive type, a Hot Girl Walk was made for Nines. The premise of a Hot Girl Walk is that each day you go for a walk outside for about one hour, and you think about three things: What you are grateful for, what you want to achieve, and lastly, how hot you are (duh!). They are simple and a great way to get into a positive, healthy mindset. The Hot Girl Walk was coined by TikToker Mia and is a wellness trend made for those warm summer days ahead.

    What You Should Manifest This Year, Based on Your Enneagram More

  • in

    How to Have a Better Relationship, According to Your Enneagram

    Let’s be real: Relationships can be complicated. The good news? They don’t have to be. Thanks to the Enneagram, we can show up as our best and most authentic selves in our relationships while better understanding ourselves and our other halves, no matter how different they are. And the result is deeper connection, mutual respect, and empathy. Grab your partner and read on to learn the strengths, differences, and motivations of each Enneagram type and find out where you fit. 

    Type Ones are great in relationships because they always have a sense of their priorities. It’s rare you’ll meet a Type One who doesn’t have a grasp on what it is they want in a relationship and where you fall in line with their other duties and identities. They’re also known for being faithful, helpful, and dedicated in relationships, meaning you can expect them to be all-in. 
    On the other side, Ones are known for being perfectionists, which can mean they’re critical and have overly high expectations of a partner. Type Ones should be aware of their expectations and work on finding a medium with their partner. Instead of expecting your partner to have the dishes done when you get home (without asking first) or wondering why they haven’t asked about your weekend plans yet, ask for what you want. I know, this goes against basically everything in your nature as a Type One, but unless your partner can read minds (we’re all jealous), there’s no way for them to know what you want and, in turn, meet your expectations. 

    The Helper is all about doing what they can for their loved ones. They know how to make you feel loved and appreciated, and they’re great at validating the feelings of others (even if it means doubting their own). 
    Because Type Twos are so focused on what the other person wants or needs, they often struggle to get their own needs met in a relationship. Instead of worrying about what your partner wants for dinner or how they’re feeling after a fight, ask for what you need. If your feelings were hurt or you feel like they’re not taking your ideas into consideration, this is your chance to tell them how you feel and exactly how they can support you too. A relationship goes both ways, and because a Two is so focused on their partner, they often forget to prioritize their needs too. 
    Twos can also be possessive at times, causing them to show an excess of love to their partner in an attempt to woo them or keep them in their lives. Talk to your partner about how they personally want to feel love (might we suggest the Love Languages test?) so you can give them exactly what they want too.

    If you’re familiar with Love Languages, Threes almost always feel loved through words of affirmation. They like knowing their partner is proud of their achievements, whether it’s something big, such as a promotion at work, or small, like finding the best new restaurant for date nights. Threes love to feel appreciated, and because of this, they enjoy giving to their partner too. 
    Because Threes put so much of their worth into their career, they often bring that into relationships. Talking about work over dinner, being absentminded when you’re together, and putting your work-related stress onto your partner can make your partner feel like they’re not as important to you as your career. To combat this, create work-free times with your partner. Much like some of us are with our cell phones (guilty), Threes can often be that way about their career. Give yourself two hours when you’re out to dinner or just catching up on Bridgerton where you occupy yourself with your partner. No work, all play. 

    Fours are known for being creative, but in relationships, they are playful, fun, and spirited. They are open to new experiences and love getting to share their creativity and passion with someone else. They are typically emotional and have a strong idea of who they are. In relationships, this means they’re romantic and intuitive. They love sending love notes, cards, and gifts to their loved ones, and they feel loved when their partner understands and compliments their self-expression (such as their art!). 
    In a relationship, a Four can be a little overbearing at times. They can be moody and have a hard time separating their emotions from their day-to-day lives. As a Four, it is important to remind your partner that they aren’t to blame for your emotions. Fours do not like being called overdramatic or being told they’re overreacting in a situation; therefore, it’s important to talk with your partner about your emotions instead of closing them off. You don’t have to be alone with your feelings!

    Fives love to approach situations with data on hand. They’re natural teachers who observe their surroundings and analyze situations deeply before committing or speaking up. Unlike Fours, they take time alone to process and understand their emotions before acting on them, which can make a partner think they’re uninterested or uninterrupted by a conflict (which isn’t usually the case). They have a thirst for knowledge and love to learn, making them a great companion for intellectual dates, such as going to new exhibitions, museums, libraries, and events in your city. 
    In their quest for knowledge, Fives can seem somewhat withdrawn or even contentious or irritated with a partner. While they are generally introverted and prefer to stay in, they can get frustrated when a partner always wants to pull them out of their comfort zone. Similar to Type Three, create times with your partner to discuss your lives without judgment. Your partner wants to know what you’re learning and what is interesting to you at the moment, so don’t be afraid to geek out about your latest project. They love that side of you too!

    We all know Sixes are all about commitment, making them perfect for long-term relationships. They’re loyal and feel content knowing their relationships are safe and secure. They can be introverted and extroverted, so they’re easy to open up to but also to have fun with. Helping others is important to a Six, and they feel irresponsible when they think they haven’t fulfilled that duty. They are also independent, so they’re able to do their own thing once in a while without worrying about their partner.
    Sixes are some of the most trustworthy people; however, they’re not quick to trust others themselves. This can make them seem self-conscious, nervous, and even defensive in relationships where the other person doesn’t feel trusted or accepted. Trusting another person is hard at first, but it takes being confident in yourself and your relationship to get you there. Spend some time every day focusing on building up your own self-confidence. You can’t be the best version of yourself with a partner if you’re constantly worrying about how you look or if they still like you (you look great, and, yes, they do!). Then, start building trust by allowing yourself to be vulnerable at times. Open up to your partner about your insecurities in the relationship, and discuss from there.

    The adventurers of the Enneagram, Sevens are all about a party. They’re upbeat and positive, knowing how to find the good in most situations. They almost always seem happy and carefree, which can sometimes seem stressful to a partner who’s another type. 
    Although Sevens are the life of the party, they can also seem narcissistic and distracted in relationships. They have a short attention span, which is great for having fun but stressful for discussing issues in a relationship. We know it’s hard, but Sevens, you have to slow down. Allow your partner to get serious every once in a while. Being an optimist doesn’t have to mean you never discuss negativity or the stress and anxiety each other goes through. However, make sure you’re letting your partner speak up. While they certainly love your center-of-attention personality, they also want to feel understood and heard too.

    Eights are confident and outgoing, but this can also manifest itself as arrogance and competition. They are natural leaders who view life’s challenges as exciting, and they’re never afraid of conflict. When issues arise in a relationship, they’re the first to be honest and ready to discuss what’s going on with their partner. 
    A reminder to Eights: It’s OK to show your vulnerable side. Eights feel like they have to have everything together all the time, and they can’t share the tender side of themselves without getting angry or frustrated first. To make this easier, practice active listening with your partner. No more trying to come up with a response before the other person is even finished (as an Eight, I totally understand this!). Listen to your partner as they speak, and empathize with whatever they’re going through, no matter how big or small it may seem to you. You’ll be able to relate to them on a deeper level while also prioritizing some quality time.

    Nines can often be mistyped as Twos because they are overly accommodating in relationships and can be people-pleasers. However, what makes them different from Twos is their drive to keep harmony and peace in their relationships. Known as the peacemakers, they are active listeners and sensitive to other people’s emotions. 
    Nines will do anything to avoid conflict, which can sometimes cause situations to never reach a solution (the opposite of Eights!). Instead of your usual, speak up about what’s going on with you and your partner. Whether it’s about your sex life, someone forgetting to take out the trash, or something bigger, be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Remember that not all conflict has to be disruptive; there is such a thing as productive conflict. 

    The Enneagram Type You Should Date
    (based on your own Enneagram) More

  • in

    What You Should Manifest This Year, Based on Your Enneagram

    Manifestation isn’t anything new (nor is it magic!). In a very practical sense, manifesting is about living a life of intention because the more energy and intention you direct toward your desires, the more results you see. I keep a manifestation journal where I envision the specific changes I want to see in my life in great detail that I often revisit and use to intentionally make those outcomes a reality. And to help with manifestation, you can turn to your Enneagram, which can tell you about your deepest desires, fears, and core motivations. As a Four, it’s how I realized that creativity was important to me in my career. To make this your best year yet, read on to find out what you should manifest and where to focus your manifestation powers, according to your Enneagram.

    For the ambitious and hardworking Ones, this year’s manifestation is all about self-acceptance. Envision the version of yourself outside of what you think others expect of you and give yourself your own stamp of approval. Ones are loved and worthy, regardless of whether or not they fall short of their goals. Choose to be happy now, not just when the next goal is met. Repeat an affirmation like “my value goes beyond my achievements” and be intentional about infusing joy into your life wherever and whenever you can.

    As selfless caregivers, Twos are ready to manifest a caring relationship because they are always giving. Intentionally seek out relationships that are about a balanced give and take, like a partner who will always check on you or ask about how you feel. Think about what relationships with people who support, encourage, and inspire you would feel and look like, and define what the boundaries around your time and energy mean to you. Manifesting balanced relationships will help you create the connections that leave you feeling appreciated.

    For Threes who put a lot of pressure on themselves, this is the year to manifest peace. Focus on the things in your life that prioritize relaxation and soothe you. Recall a memory or visualize a place that makes you feel the calmest. For me, it’s the sounds of rain falling outside my window or waves crashing on the beach. Close your eyes and take yourself to the place that lets you relax any tension in your body.

    As a Type Four, you are always finding new creative outlets and are only fulfilled if you’re truly imaginative. Manifest greater inspiration and a career opportunity that will allow you to be more creative. Picture exactly what it would feel like to get up every day and do work that excites you and allows you to express yourself creatively, learn a new skill that gets you closer to that goal, and look up your dream company that encourages individual creativity and see if there are any opportunities available. Feel a little underqualified? Fight the career FOMO and apply anyway.

    If you’re a Type Five, 2022 is your year to manifest abundance. This can be an abundance of new information to learn in a career that challenges your critical thinking or more income to feel more freedom and indulge in the things that make you happy. As the minimalist of the Enneagrams, Fives often believe that they have more than enough. Picture life without the feeling of scarcity and the steps you can take, like practicing gratitude. Start a gratitude journal and pick one to three things every day that you’re grateful for in your life. This will help you have a more positive outlook and manifest more abundance in your life.

    Sixes are acutely aware of all the things that might go wrong. This Enneagram type would benefit from manifesting all good things because Type Sixes are motivated by their need for security. Try drowning out the worst-case scenarios that can play out in your head and replace them with positive ones. Believe that good things are coming and picture what the feeling of safety feels like. Be intentional about not creating self-fulfilling prophecies and make decisions based on the feeling of safety, not fear. Focus on trusting that you’ve done all that you could to create safety and that you can handle anything that comes your way. 

    For the Enneagram that loves fun and exploration, manifesting the trip of their dreams is what this year is all about. Take little steps to bring you closer to ziplining in the Caribbean or dinner overlooking Santorini, Greece: research how much flights would cost, look up where you would stay, or just make a vision board of the destination you want to visit most. Even the tiniest acts can help you move toward your goal and manifest an exciting new place to discover. Even if your dream destination isn’t a reality for 2022, you’ll be manifesting more adventure, whether it’s a weekend trip every month or spending your Saturdays exploring places in your own city you’ve never been.

    Eights are natural-born leaders who love making an impact. Since Eights can sometimes feel disconnected from others, try manifesting community this year. You’re already passionate, so why not find a group of people who also care about the causes that matter, and use your assertiveness and influence more intentionally. Envision what it would feel like to be a part of something bigger and what a supportive, collaborative community looks like for you. Search for local opportunities to volunteer or take the lead by organizing a food drive.

    Nines use their communication skills to bring peace amongst their loved ones, often at the cost of their own. Nines can step into their power when they not only think of others but also think of themselves. Manifest main-character energy to make yourself a priority, and shift your perspective to consider that it’s OK (and necessary) to sometimes be the center of attention or romanticize your life. What would it look and feel like if you said how you felt, regardless of any potential conflict? Journal about situations where future you put yourself first.

    How You Need to Recharge, According to Your Enneagram More

  • in

    How You Need to Recharge, According to Your Enneagram

    I first found my Enneagram type with my husband during an at-home date night while our son slept, and it immediately made us understand each other better. Suddenly, all those little quirks and pet peeves had us going, ah, I get it now. Not only did it leave us with more compassion (and patience!) with each other but with ourselves too. The Enneagram gives insight into understanding who you are by shedding light on your needs, what drives you, what frightens you, and how you experience or perceive life, which means it also helps you care for yourself.
    How we care for ourselves can also mean how we provide our mind, body, and spirit with rest. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a board-certified internal medicine physician and work-life integration researcher, defines “rest” in seven different types, ranging from mental rest to sensory rest. While each individual often needs every kind of rest during a lifetime, they can also be applied to the nine enneagram types to identify what you truly need and the type of rest you may need to focus on more.
    A brief disclosure: Regardless of your Enneagram, what’s most important is to listen to what you need and take time for yourself, so discover and create a routine that works for and feels good to you. But if you need a little help identifying why you’re feeling so drained or how to best care for yourself, the Enneagram is an amazing tool to gain insight. Read on for what type of rest you need and how to best care for yourself, based on your Enneagram type.

    For Ones who place a lot of emphasis on getting everything “just right,” the pressure to continuously perform at such high internal standards can be a lot. Ones need to care for themselves by implementing Dr. Dalton-Smith’s creative rest. You don’t have to identify as “creative” or work in a creative field to benefit from creative rest. Creative rest involves taking a moment to appreciate beauty in all forms, from music and art to nature’s beauty like trees and beaches. Taking a break for creativity is good for Ones because it’s no-pressure, carefree fun where there really is no such thing as “failing” or making a mistake. They can get lost in an activity that doesn’t have an objective or something that has to be checked off a list, which is good balance to recharge.

    Twos are the empathetic caregivers who don’t think twice about putting others’ needs above their own. This Enneagram can care for themselves by implementing Dr. Dalton-Smith’s social rest. Social rest encourages taking a moment for yourself and being alone, which is a way for Twos to set a dedicated “me time” to combat their selflessness and refill their cup before pouring into others. Avoid overextending and start saying “yes” to yourself and prioritizing your own needs. This can look like designated alone time once a week or setting boundaries and asking for help when you need it.

    Threes are often workaholics whose identities are wrapped in their success, and any failure can leave them thinking that they’re a failure. Dr. Dalton-Smith’s mental rest is perfect for the energetic Threes. Mental rest involves quieting their busy brains and staying present and in the moment. Threes can care for themselves by setting scheduled breaks during their workday and eating their meals away from screens. A mindfulness practice—anything from yoga, meditation, or adult coloring—can be beneficial to keep Threes in the present moment. Also, setting boundaries on your availability outside of working hours can give you the space to understand who you are outside of the identity you’ve created for yourself. Indulge your curiosity and try something that you’re not the best at (you’ll find that your self-worth is not tied up to others’ perceptions of you—promise!). 

    Fours would greatly benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s physical (passive) rest because of their tendency to over-identify their flaws and worry that something is missing in their lives compared to others. The passive component of physical rest involves getting high-quality sleep and naps, so focus all your attention on physically recharging. Create a bedroom oasis that you can retreat to, have a go-to evening routine to calm you down, prioritize getting to bed at a decent hour, and move your body during the day to help improve your sleep at night.

    Often found enjoying their independence and seeking knowledge, Fives are energized in their alone time. To cope with their fear of being overwhelmed by the needs of others and the dull aspects of life, introverted Fives protect themselves by setting clear boundaries and retreating into the internal worlds they’ve created. As a result, they can benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s physical (active) rest. This type of physical rest is more focused on using movement and exercise to recharge the body and get you out of your head. A HIIT session or spin class not your thing? Incorporate any activities that get you moving, like yoga or even stretching, to help you unwind and reconnect with your body.

    Sixes use their logic and vigilance to anticipate worst-case scenarios to cope with their fear of being unprepared. To prevent feeling anxious and overwhelmed by always staying a few steps ahead, Sixes can implement Dr. Dalton-Smith’s sensory rest. This can look like reducing the sensory inputs in your day-to-day, like pausing notifications and dimming lights. Dedicate time to unplug and close your eyes to visualize places that evoke feelings of peace. Try a soothing daily affirmation like, “I take it one day at a time” or “I let go of what I can’t change.” The important thing is that you own your power by honoring and naming your fears but create space in your life to not sweat the small stuff. 

    Because Sevens often fear and repress negative emotions, Dr. Dalton-Smith’s emotional rest is perfect for Sevens. While finding the positive in any situation is a good skill, habitual escapism prevents individuals from being their authentic selves and sharing how they’re really feeling beyond the automatic “I’m fine” response. Allow yourself the opportunity to spend some time alone and address your feelings. Create a daily routine to journal your thoughts and be genuine about how you actually feel, or find a therapist to help you do the work if it feels particularly difficult. Sometimes, the glass will actually feel half empty, and it’s important for you to resist the urge to push that down.

    Dr. Dalton-Smith’s spiritual rest is perfect for Eights because they can feel disconnected from others due to their competitive and intimidating nature. Remind yourself that you are a part of humanity and consider channeling your desire to take action by volunteering for a cause that’s important to you (even if you’re not in charge!). Try writing thank-you notes to your colleagues and loved ones or set days to catch up with friends to allow yourself to give and receive love from others. Remember that vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength to be nurtured—especially in leadership. 

    Nines are willing to go the extra mile to avoid rocking the boat, but don’t get it twisted—Nines resist control, which might show up as passive aggression. Like Twos, Nines can benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s social rest to establish boundaries that allow them to put their needs at the top of their list. Say how you feel and declare what you want, take up space, set boundaries, “decline” calls or invites when you’re not feeling it, and resist the urge to stick to the auto-pilot routine and plan a spontaneous trip with your friends or partner. 

    The Type of Journaling You Should Do
    Based on Your Enneagram More