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      5 Techniques for Sexual Healing, According to an Embodiment Coach

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      There’s no denying Marvin Gaye knows a thing or two about making songs to get you in the mood. (If “Let’s Get It On” isn’t the ultimate sex song, I don’t know what is.) While we all know his thoughts on knocking boots thanks to his hit “Sexual Healing,” each individual’s experience surrounding the process is just that—individual. Whether you’re looking to reclaim and reconnect with your sexual well-being from past trauma, stress, or depression, you’re not alone. In fact, studies show that 40% of women will face some type of sexual problem over the course of their lifetimes. And we all unashamedly deserve to be our healthiest sexual selves. Enter: Alyssa Kuzins, an embodiment coach who guides women into their bodies to express, honor, and be who and how they are. Read on for her four tried-and-true practices for sexual healing. Spoiler alert: They’re as liberating as they are uplifting. 

      Meet the expert
      Alyssa Kuzins
      Embodiment Coach

      What is sexual healing?
      We’re all unique sexual beings, and our sex drives are often dictated by personal events, relationships, and beliefs. Therefore, sexual healing is not a one-size-fits-all approach and can look very different from one person to another. But at its core, the concept centers around reconnecting with your sensuality. “I look at sexual healing as the necessary re-wiring of our nervous system back to our natural state of pleasure, ecstasy, feeling, and intimacy after a traumatic experience or chronic levels of stress,” explained Kuzins. “It comes from an inside out approach which focuses on first addressing trauma held in the body with somatic [relating] practices and then allowing the mind to follow.” 
      To undergo true healing and regain control of your sexuality, you have to dig deeper than the physical body and tap into your inner self. “Our brains are amazing in that they protect us from that which is too horrific to bear as we do everything we can to survive on a physiological level, but the issue is that we stay frozen in a disembodied trauma response moment in time,” Kuzins described. “In this way, you have to reverse engineer the healing process. If trauma takes you out of the body, then embodied healing brings you back in the body.” Bottom line: Kuzins assured us that you could heal from the inside out and reawaken your sex drive with embodiment exercises.

      Practices to promote sexual healing
      1. Dance
      When in doubt, dance it out. Sure, it may feel silly or embarrassing busting a move by yourself in your apartment, but when you dance like nobody’s watching, that’s where the magic happens. (OK, I’m done with the clichés). “This isn’t about perfection. This is about releasing pent-up sexual energy and getting reacquainted with your body-mind and expression,” Kuzins said. “Trauma often makes us feel sluggish, but the body is built to move, so get moving! Try different styles of music depending on what is resonating with your emotions that day.”

      2. Practice breathwork
      Breathing is a natural, subconscious action, but when you bring your attention to it, you connect to the present moment and tune into your body and its sensations. “Breath is the human embodiment of life energy and a key way to a balanced nervous system in minutes!” affirmed Kuzins. She suggested trying box breathing. First, slowly exhale all the oxygen out of your lungs. Next, slowly and deeply inhale through your nose to the count of four. Then, hold your breath for another count of four. And finally, exhale through your mouth for the last slow count of four. No matter the type of breathing method you use, you not only activate the parasympathetic nervous system (read: the nerves that relax our bodies), but you also boost circulation, enhancing your sexual experiences. 

      3. Engage in self-pleasure
      What better way to get to know yourself than to spend some quality time pleasuring yourself? Take matters into your own hands (literally) and discover what your wants and needs are. Discover what turns you on. “I’m a big believer that getting reacquainted with your own body first with embodied self-pleasure is one of the most powerful practices you can do to heal from the inside out,” Kuzins said. Play music, relax, and take your time exploring different ways of stimulating yourself. If you’re considering bringing a toy or two into the mix, Kuzins recommended choosing a crystal wand over a battery-operated vibrator to have more control over your touch. “Go at your own pace,” advised Kuzins. “Truly feel your body from the inside, literally. This can be helpful for women who feel numbness or pain, but just make sure it is done with gentleness.”

      4. Be mindful of your environment
      Whether we realize it or not, our everyday surroundings have a direct impact on our mood and emotions. “Your environment is stronger than your willpower,” cited Kuzins. She emphasized romancing ourselves and our lives: “Clean up your space, light the candles, buy fresh flowers just because, put on music while you cook dinner, wear lingerie to bed for yourself, put on makeup if it makes you feel good even if you’re just working from home.” Especially when you find yourself in the midst of a lull, pay attention to what you wear, how much natural light you’re exposed to, what your desk looks like, and the quality of the air you’re breathing in. 

      5. Journal 
      We’re all guilty of getting in our own heads, and our internal dialogues can keep us stuck in the past. Journaling can flip the script by helping you uncover and process your feelings, notice any thought or behavioral patterns, and regain your sense of who you are. “Journaling helps get our feelings out of our body and onto the page,” Kuzins suggested. Putting pen to paper allows you to confront any traumas in a private, safe space. Not sure where to start? Set a timer for 1-2 minutes and write whatever comes to mind, unedited and free of any judgment. 

      This article is intended to inspire you to live your best life, not to serve as mental or sexual health treatment. If you’re experiencing symptoms of anxiety, depression, or chronic stress, it’s important to reach out and get help. See your doctor, get in contact with a therapist, and/or talk to a close friend or family member. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or actions, get help immediately. 

      I Used To Feel Lots of Shame About Sex—Here’s How I Unlearned It More

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      7 Habits of Women Who Always Have a Healthy Libido

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      Just like exercising to stay in shape or maintaining a meditation practice for your mental health, establishing habits to get your libido in check doesn’t necessarily happen overnight. Sometimes it takes work. It’s important to keep in mind that every part of your body goes through phases over time—even our libidos. And while we would all love a healthy libido 24/7, sometimes our sex drives are going full speed ahead, and other times, they’re at a standstill. If you’re going through a phase where you just can’t get in the mood, know you are not alone and there are ways to get out of it. Everyone deserves to enjoy sex and look forward to it. Read on for seven habits women use to keep their libido healthy.

      1. Prioritize your alone time
      Self-care can apply to many different areas, including your libido. Spending time on your own allows you to reconnect with your body and check in on your mental well-being. Our bodies are interconnected organisms, and if we are stressed, it can often result in more than just symptoms of tiredness or irritability; it can manifest in physical pain (sore back, anyone?) or even low libido. Taking time for self-care—whether it be through exercise, meditation, journaling, a nice bath at the end of the day, or cooking a meal you love—is so important. It’s a mental break we all need to reset and feel more grounded and connected, especially when the outside world can feel overwhelming. 

      2. Try something new
      There’s no better way to stimulate libido than by trying something new. Maybe you and your partner have hit a rough patch and can’t connect like you used to, or maybe you’re single and your vibrator is starting to collect dust in your drawer. There’s no shame in either, but switching it up may be exactly what you need to break the spell. If you’re into solo sex, invest in a new sex toy, experiment with different porn, or set aside a night where you take a bath, light some candles, and indulge in pleasuring yourself. 
      If you are looking to boost sex with a partner, try choosing at least one night a week. Scheduling sex may sound uncomfortable, but it may be the thing to get you both out of a rut. You can also try bringing a sex toy into the bedroom, an aphrodisiac, or watching porn together. The best part? Whatever you choose, it can not only increase your libido but also build a stronger and healthier relationship. P.S. Don’t just stop at one—continue to try new things to keep your libido healthy.

      3. Figure out what you like and dislike
      Part of maintaining a healthy libido is knowing what you like and dislike (AKA what pleasures you or turns you on versus what doesn’t), but it’s OK if you’re still figuring that out—that’s part of the fun in experimentation. Perhaps you could try a new position and role-playing or lean into pleasure that may have felt shameful in the past. Try to vocalize what gets you going and what you could do without. Discovering what you like and dislike means throwing out the narrative you may have learned about what women should like and shouldn’t like about sex. You are allowed to enjoy whatever you like, and no one should tell you otherwise. It’s your body and your libido, so you get to call the shots. 

      4. Build strong trust and communication with your partner
      Whether you’re looking to improve intimacy in your relationship or you’re getting down and dirty with a FWB or casual hookup, you need to feel safe and secure in order to feel vulnerable enough to share your desires. If you feel like you’re lacking something, then it could be time to start an open dialogue with your partner about your needs. Start by planning a check-in or date night where you feel comfortable vocalizing your feelings and come to the table open and ready to share and listen. If you’re in a relationship, remember that your physical relationship can only be as strong as its emotional counterpart. And if you’re not in a LTR, you deserve to feel safe enough to communicate with anyone who’s lucky enough to be with you.

      5. Exercise regularly
      It should come as no surprise that those who exercise regularly are more likely to have a healthy libido. While working out has a plethora of benefits, the endorphins it releases and the effect it has on how we view our bodies directly impact our libidos. Studies have shown that there is “an association between body mass, a negative body image, and the avoidance of sexual situations.” In other words, if we want to feel confident in the bedroom and increase our libido, exercising on the regular and prioritizing our bodies is how we get there.

      6. Take the pressure off
      It goes without saying that women are under a lot of societal pressure. The pressure placed on women to fit into a certain box is prevalent, and I am here to tell you that it’s time to take the pressure off. We’re all wonderfully different, even when it comes to our libidos. Some people naturally have a higher sex drive than others, and that’s OK. Let go of any limiting beliefs surrounding your sexual well-being, and just listen to your body and enjoy sex on your own terms.

      7. Talk to your doctor
      The health of your libido deserves the same attention as any other medical concern you may have. And while your sex drive could improve with the aforementioned habits, there may be underlying factors that require further examination. Aside from mental blocks, including medications, physical changes, and hormonal changes, there are many other factors that can contribute to low libido. If you have a consistently low sex drive, it may be time to talk to your doctor. Maintain regular check-ups with your gynecologist, and prioritize your sexual health as you would any other part of your body.

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      You Don’t Need a S.O. To Take You Out: 6 Solo Date Ideas to Add to Your Calendar ASAP

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      Too many times we get caught up in scrolling for our next beau or babe on Bumble, spicing up our romantic relationships, or maintaining the platonic ones (especially over long distance). And since we’re always making space and time for our loved ones, sometimes we forget the most important person through it all: you. Ask yourself this: how many times this year have you actually thought about some solo date ideas? No, I’m not talking about a Trader Joe’s run (although it can be quite the self-care), but a real moment of dating yourself. 
      To some, this may sound absolutely outside of the box. How does a date work if it doesn’t have at least two people? This isn’t some ploy to force you to be anti-social, I promise. It’s a push to take better care of yourself, find your love language, and treat yourself accordingly. If that doesn’t convince you, remember this: If you spend your entire life waiting on other people, you’ll be waiting forever.
      You know that cute cafe you’ve been eying for months now? Grab your laptop and just go. That trip to the West Indies you’ve been pasting on your mood board for the past three years? Buy that ticket and make sure you get a window seat. Although the journey may be terrifying—introverts, I’m talking to you—there is something absolutely magical in doing things alone. All it takes is a little push and a long bucket list. 
      Here are 6 solo date ideas that’ll have you clearing your calendar for the rest of the year.

      1. Go to a Museum or Art Gallery
      Connecting with history and art is as therapeutic as it gets. Head to your local museum or art gallery and lose yourself in it all. When you’re alone, you can stare at a piece or dawdle in an exhibit for as long as you want. Nobody is there to rush or ask for your commentary.
      Use that time to think introspectively. How does the art relate to a similar experience you’ve had? Do you feel inclined to do more at-home research on a specific culture you came across? How do the brush strokes of a particular painting make you feel? Kudos if you head to a different city or state for this one.

      2. Book a Yoga or Fitness Class
      Working out with friends can be fun, but pushing yourself to do it alone can be extremely rewarding. Have you always wanted to try pilates? Maybe hot yoga? Head to your nearest studio and start sweating!
      Without being swayed by the commitment of others, you’ll be able to focus on your own goals and stay consistent, and you’ll be able to mold your regimen around your own schedule, too. Besides maximizing your flexibility, the intrinsic gratification you’ll experience will be much better than hearing a compliment from anyone else. And if you’re still wanting an accountability buddy, make friends at your gym or studio. 

      3. Have a Mini-Photoshoot
      Ready to start your trek to 1M followers? Even if you’re not eying being the next big-time influencer, grabbing your camera and taking pictures of yourself is sure to be a confidence booster. How many times did you find the perfect background on a girls’ trip, but the pictures just weren’t turning out how you wanted? Take this time to figure out new poses, your best angles, and some of the most unbelievable locations.

      4. Take a Cooking Class
      We can all admit that ordering out always beats cooking in, but it doesn’t hurt to sharpen your skills. If you’re exhausted with your current rotation of meals, find a local (or online) class that caters to the cuisine you’re obsessed with or want to know more about. Besides being a great way to connect with family and loved ones, it’s an amazing way to constantly treat yourself. There’s no better feeling than knowing your recipe tastes just as good (if not better) than it does at your favorite restaurant.
      If you’re out of luck with chefs that inspire you, Pinterest is always a faithful option. Here are some of my favorites I’m sure you’ll fall in love with: 

      5. Get Dinner and See a Movie
      Going back to the basics is always a great idea. Although there won’t be any moves by your date getting pulled on you (bummer?), it’s a great way to show yourself that these places aren’t only reserved for twos. For dinner, proudly request your table for one, and bring along your laptop or journal if you feel uncomfortable. It’ll become easier the more you go.
      If you’re an avid moviegoer or just an occasional one, challenge yourself to see a movie you haven’t heard of. The thrill just might be the beginning of your love for a new series, actor, or director. And who knows, you might even be pulling moves on yourself by the end of the night. 

      6. Be a Tourist in Your Own Town
      For many of us, home is our happy place. The idea of going outside might seem unappetizing, but I challenge you to throw on your favorite outfit, put your cellphone on DND, and treat your city like foreign territory. Check out all of the hidden gems, try new restaurants, and support some small businesses. You never know what you’ll find. 
      If you’re really feeling up for it, walk, roller skate, or bike ride throughout your city instead of driving. Too many times we use our cars as shields to not have to really be within the city we reside in. Take a new path and put yourself completely out there. It’ll be worth it. 

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      10 Foods to Eat If You Want a Better Sex Life, According to Experts

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      You’ve probably heard about aphrodisiacs like chocolate and strawberries to get you in the mood, but is there really a correlation between nutrition and sex and if so, what are the best foods for sex? While aphrodisiacs are controversial among experts (no, chocolate is not a magical food meant to make you orgasm), many healthy foods contain important nutrients that can affect hormones or increase blood flow to help increase pleasure in the bedroom (or the bathroom, back of your car, with your vibrator–no judgment!). 
      But just a reminder that libido is a vital sign—a low sex drive could be the body’s way of communicating that it needs something. Therefore, the question is not just how can we improve our sex drive, but why is our sex drive lacking in the first place? This list is not meant to replace talking to your doc about finding the root cause for a low libido.
      Also, the most important thing you can do for your pleasure is to eat a healthy diet. Any whole foods like fruits and veggies can be good for the libido since a healthy libido is a sign of a healthy body. However, I asked doctors, nutritionists, and sex experts for specific foods that contain nutrients that are directly correlated to sexual pleasure. The foods they suggested are healthy, whole foods, so they can’t hurt to eat more of (in other words, whether or not they boost sex drive, they’re still good for you). Bottom line: talk to your doctor to improve low libido, eat a balanced and nutritious diet, and feel good about enjoying the 10 foods below, knowing they are expert-approved for spicing up your sex life.

      1. Raw honey
      If you’re deciding between sweeteners to add to your coffee, you might as well choose the one that can help increase libido. “Honey is packed full of natural goodness, including a mineral known as boron,” explained Reda Elmardi, a certified nutritionist, trainer, and editor at thegymgoat.com. “Boron has been found to help strengthen the bones, enhance muscle coordination, promote protein synthesis, and help increase the natural production of testosterone.” Even though we associate testosterone with men (especially bodybuilders), every gender has a combination of sex hormones, and testosterone directly correlates to sex drive. Raw honey (look for organic or manuka varieties) may help increase the natural production of the libido hormone.

      2. Maca
      Maca might not be found in every grocery store like honey, but it’s been used for thousands of years for energy, hormonal balance, and increasing sex drive. Maca is a vegetable that grows in the mountains of Peru and is technically a cruciferous vegetable, but it is most commonly found in the U.S. in the form of a powdered supplement. And according to some studies, there might be some scientific truth to the ancient use.
      “A number of research [studies have] shown that supplementing with maca can increase sexual desire,” suggested Wendy Lord, a registered dietitian and consultant for Sensible Digs. While many studies about sex drive are performed on men (serious eye roll), a 2008 study showed maca decreased sexual dysfunction in postmenopausal women. If you’re interested in trying for yourself, first talk to your doctor about whether or not it’s right for you, and do your research for trustworthy brands. 
       
      3. Berries
      You probably already know berries are good for skin glow and contain fiber for a healthy gut, but some experts swear that they’re the secret to a better sex life. According to Dr. Markus Ploesser, an integrative psychiatrist and longevity expert, berries like strawberries and raspberries contain zinc, which is important for testosterone level regulation (that hormone associated with sex drive).
      “Blueberries contain flavonoids like anthocyanins and proanthocyanidins, which have been shown to improve sexual function,” Elmardi agreed. Elmardi cited a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that found that people who ate blueberry-rich diets had increased blood flow to the genitalia after only three weeks (and when there’s more blood flow, there’s more pleasure). So what does all of this mean? Berries are a healthy source of antioxidants, phytonutrients, and fiber, so if you’re already a berry fan, keep on adding them to smoothies or eating them with yogurt, knowing you could also be getting sexual health benefits. 

      Source: Askar Abayev | Pexels

      4. Saffron
      Forget thyme and cumin–you’re going to want to cook everything with saffron from now on. It is believed that the delicious spice originated and was first cultivated in Greece, but today the spice is primarily grown in Iran, Greece, Morocco, and India. But lucky for us (and our sex drives), you can find it in most grocery stores. “The chemicals found in saffron have been shown to improve erectile dysfunction in men and increase lubrication for women,” Lord explained. A 2012 study gave women with low sexual desire 30 mg of saffron daily over four weeks and found it reduced sex-related pain and increased sexual desire and lubrication, compared to a placebo. To try for yourself, add the tasty spice to salad dressings, grains, marinades, or roasted veggies. 

      5. Oysters
      The slurpy seafood is probably not the go-to food when you think of “sexy,” but oysters have long been known for their aphrodisiac effects. While experts are divided on whether or not there’s any truth to aphrodisiacs, there’s truth to the ones that contain specific nutrients known to improve sex drive. Luckily for shellfish lovers (I had to google if oysters counted as shellfish, TBH), the fancy delicacy does. According to Dr. Ploesser, oysters boost dopamine, which is a neurotransmitter that increases libido. “Oysters are a clichéd aphrodisiac because they contain zinc, which is necessary for the production of prolactin in women,” agreed Candela Valle, the resident nutritionist for MYHIXEL. 

      6. Watermelon
      Watermelon is probably your favorite fruit come summer (so refreshing!), but it has serious benefits year-round. Besides its high water content and nutrients that are beneficial for multiple functions of the body, watermelon is doing wonders for your sex life too. “Watermelon is one of the most effective foods that contain sexually enhanced amino acids (citrulline) that helps blood vessels to relax and improve sex drive,” explained Steve Theunissen, a registered dietitian nutritionist and certified personal trainer. Yes, watermelon is 92 percent water, but the remaining 8 percent is packed with nutrients that can improve sexual health and maintain overall health. 

      7. Fenugreek
      Fenugreek originated in India and Northern Africa and dates back to six thousand years ago. Both the seeds and green leaves have been used as a spice in food and herbal medicine to treat various ailments for centuries. Turns out, it’s been boosting sexual health for a long time too. “Fenugreek contains chemicals that have properties similar to estrogen and testosterone,” Lord explained. “Research that looked at the effectiveness of fenugreek for improved sexual desire showed that it is effective in this area for both men and women.” As for why the herb affects libido? One of the reasons is that it’s a good source of zinc, which is an important nutrient related to the health of the sexual organs. 

      Source: Daria Shevtsova | Pexels

      8. Red wine
      As if we needed another reason to pour ourselves a glass, red wine might be one of the few alcoholic beverages that’s beneficial for libido (and–this may or may not be surprising to you–it’s not the alcohol that can improve your sex life). “Red wine contains quercetin, which might account for the positive response in sex drive,” said Dr. Anderson, Ph.D., a sex and relationship therapist, citing a 2009 study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine that showed one to two glasses of red wine a day increased sexual desire and lubrication in women. “Researchers noted that drinking more than two glasses of red wine daily or indulging in other types of alcoholic beverages did not produce the same results.” Sorry, spicy margaritas–you’re great for Taco Tuesdays, but not for our sex lives. 

      9. Garlic
      The key ingredient that makes pasta so delicious is another ingredient that is under-appreciated when it comes to building up sex drive. You might think garlic is a killer for your sex life (no one likes garlic breath…), but the nutrients it contains could be increasing your pleasure by lowering cortisol. Let an expert explain: “Garlic contains a compound known as allicin, which helps to naturally lower levels of a hormone known as cortisol,” Elmardi explained. “Cortisol suppresses the immune system and also suppresses the natural production of testosterone. As the allicin in garlic helps to naturally lower cortisol, this helps to keep your testosterone levels stable.” As long as garlic doesn’t upset your stomach, feel free to eat it as much as you want, as it’s loaded with nutrients that are good for many functions of the body. Maybe just pop a breath mint or two if you’re getting straight to testing out the results. 

      10. Avocados
      What can’t Instagram’s favorite fruit do!? Not only do avocados make a mean toast and a delicious pudding (a Kourtney Kardashian favorite, TYVM), but the beloved food is good for so many different functions of the body, including sex drive. “Avocados are high in vitamin E, which is a powerful antioxidant involved in widening blood vessels. As a result, you get a sufficient supply of blood to various parts of the body, including the genitals,” explained Barbara Santini, a psychologist and sex and relationship adviser. Bringing blood flow to the genitals means more of the good sensitivity that results in major pleasure. Try it as a spread on bread, cut up into salads, or made into guacamole. 

      We Asked Experts if Aphrodisiacs Actually Work More

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      6 Workout Moves To Try Now That Can Help You Orgasm Later

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      So you know there are stretches that can help with anxiety and stretches that can improve digestion, but did you know there are also stretches for better sex? That’s right: You can yoga-pose your way to a better sex life, and celebrity trainer Lia Bartha is going to show you how. Bartha, the founder of B The Method, has worked with supermodels and actresses alike to to strengthen, restore, and protect their bodies through her own method that involves pilates-based, low-impact movements (also, she has an Instagram feed that is totally #wellnessgoals). Read on to get the 411 from Bartha about why exercise can affect the pelvic floor and six moves to get you closer to better sex. 

      Meet the expert
      Lia Bartha
      Celebrity Fitness Instructor and Founder of B The Method
      A former dancer with scoliosis and multiple injuries, Bartha created B The Method, a mix of highly unique pilates-based, low-impact movements—with inspiration from dance and swimming—to strengthen, restore, and protect her own body. Since becoming a fitness expert, she has trained celebrities such as Martha Hunt and Aubrey Plaza.

      Why is the pelvic floor so important?
      When your pelvic floor is either too tight or too weak, sex can be painful and orgasms can be nonexistent. People don’t put enough emphasis on caring for this muscle because they don’t know what it is, where to find it, and why it matters. The pelvic floor is a hammock of muscles located between the tailbone and pubic bone in the pelvis that contract and relax during penetration and increase blood flow during orgasms. Because of this, your workouts can have a huge impact on the health of your pelvic floor.
      High-impact exercises, lifting heavy weights, jumping, clenching while working out, and not breathing properly can cause the pelvic floor to become too tight. This can lead to so many issues within the body, not just those related to sex and orgasms. The same goes with not putting any care and emphasis on strengthening this muscle. I put such a huge emphasis on evenly strengthening and stretching the pelvic floor muscles in my workouts for this very reason. We all want to get in a good workout but shouldn’t have to sacrifice our sex life because of it.

      6 moves to help improve your sex life

      1. Happy Baby
      [embedded content]
      Lay down on your back with your knees bent and feet in the air. Hold your big toes with your fingers and press your tailbone down to the floor in a neutral pelvis. This position will actively stretch your pelvic floor and force it to relax. The hip stretch is amazing as well for getting flexible and comfortable in a variety of sexual positions.

      2. Open Butterfly Stretch on a ball
      [embedded content]
      Sit on top of a small stability ball, like this one, with your legs open wide. Lay your chest forward toward the ground with your arms straight on the floor. Rock your hips side to side on the ball. This position will actively stretch your pelvic floor while stimulating blood flow to your genitals.

      3. Circle Gut Massage
      [embedded content]
      Lay down on your stomach with the ball placed under your low abdominals and pelvis. It will fit right in that “v” muscle area. Circle your hips five times in one direction and then switch directions. This will stretch, massage, and reset the gut, hips, and lower abdominals that are used for movement during sex. Think of it like foreplay, warmup, or even a cool-down.

      4. Bent Leg Circles
      [embedded content]
      Lay on your back in a neutral pelvis and spine. Lift your legs into a tabletop position. Either laying flat or lifting your neck and shoulders slightly with hands clasped behind your head, start to circle your legs in opposite directions from each other. Then, repeat in the other direction. This move will strengthen the pelvic floor and inner thigh muscles while loosening up the hips. 

      5. Moving Frog Plank
      [embedded content]
      Get into a child pose with your feet tucked underneath. Lift your knees and press out into a plank position with a slightly externally rotated hip. Toes are apart and heels are squeezed together. Now, push back on your arms and into a child’s pose position, but keep the knees hovered. This move will both stretch and strengthen the pelvic floor in a single exercise.

      6. Core Bridging
      [embedded content]
      Lay on your back with your feet and knees in parallel. Start to tuck your hips up into a bridge but make sure not to clench the glutes. Lead the exercise from the lower abdominals, pelvic floor, and inner thighs. You won’t be able to lift as high, but you will definitely understand why this is good for orgasms when you get into the position. You will feel the connection into that pelvic region. 

      5 Benefits of Orgasms We All Need RN, According to Experts More

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      9 New Products for Your Vagina That Will Transform Your Sexual Health

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      Growing up, learning how to use a tampon was the extent of my knowledge of vagina products and sitting through sex ed was my only understanding of the inner workings of the vagina. Every time the word was mentioned, I turned red with embarrassment. Thankfully, gone are the days of keeping any talk of “the vag” reserved for awkward and often misleading education that makes you want to leave the room.
      Thanks to revolutionary, female-led companies leading the charge in redefining sexual wellness, the once hush-hush topic is not only openly and honestly discussed but also celebrated (as it has always deserved!). From innovative menstrual products to refreshing hygiene offerings we never knew we needed, these brands have all of our “down-there care” needs (and wants) covered. Read on for nine feminine care finds you’ll want to “Add to Cart.” Spoiler alert: There’s something for everyone.

      The Period Company
      Period Underwear
      Being on your period and feeling sexy (and comfortable) never belonged in the same sentence—that is, until now. Stylish and functional, the Period Company’s panties feature toxin-free, moisture-wicking fabric, four-layer absorbency, and leak-proof technology. Choose from heavy, sporty, light, and overnight styles. Whether you’re ready to swear off pads and tampons because of the negative impact they have on the environment or they’re annoying and messy (I could go on and on), these eco-friendly substitutes prove you don’t have to sacrifice hot girl vibes for protection. Period.

      Heating Patch
      We all know that riding the crimson wave comes with bloating and painful cramping. Enter: these heating patches that give off soothing warmth to help relax your muscles and provide relief from nagging cramps and uncomfortable bloat. Did I mention they’re made with botanical oils that won’t mess with your hormones or skin? No harsh chemicals here.

      Feminine Wipes
      You know that so-fresh-and-so-clean feeling you get after washing your face? These plant-based, pH-balancing wipes will leave you with that same feeling down there. What’s more, they’re equal parts convenient and versatile—use them after a gym sesh, before or after having sex, or when you’re on your period. Your “honeypot” (vagina, ICYMI) will thank you.

      Vaginal Balance Capsules
      Sexual health is not only about what’s on the outside. Feeling and functioning at our best means taking care of our insides too. If you could use a little help in that area, talk to your doctor about adding these supplements, which support your urinary tract health and balance your vaginal pH to your wellness regimen. With ingredients sans GMO, gluten, harmful fillers, and artificial preservatives, you can rest assured that you’re giving your vagina the right kind of TLC.

      Elvie Trainer
      The pelvic floor (made up of the muscles between the tailbone and the pubic bone) is having a moment, and rightfully so. From bladder and bowel movement control to better sex and core stability to prenatal and postpartum well-being, the muscle group has a lot of crucial functions, and it’s about time we give it the time and attention it deserves. The Evie Trainer helps you do just that. Inserted like a tampon, the app-connected device will lead you through targeted exercises that’ll give your pelvic floor a workout—consider it your new personal trainer. Before trying, make sure to talk to your gynceologist or pelvic floor specialist to see if it’s right for you.

      Natural Cycles
      NC° Birth Control
      Birth control that is hormone-free and side effect-free sounds too good to be true, but this new birth control method is changing the game. Using an app and your basal body temperature, this FDA-cleared digital contraception tool tracks your fertility status and tells you when to use protection to prevent pregnancy. Offered as a monthly or an annual subscription, the app boasts a 98% effectiveness when used correctly. As always, talk to your gynecologist about a birth control plan that’s right for your lifestyle, health goals, and body.

      Finger Vibrator
      PSA: Self-pleasure is a form of wellness, and this finger vibrator does the trick. Meant to be worn on your finger, its design is as versatile as it is sleek. Whether you favor the flat and squishy angle or use the device before, during, or after sex, the Fin Finger Vibrator lets you call the shots. The best part (other than the “O” you’ll get, of course)? It’s small but mighty and discreet enough to take on the go.

      Travel Size Lube
      Small enough to throw in your carry-on and tuck away in your nightstand, this lubricant duo is TSA- and bedroom-approved (because you never know when the mood will strike). The organic lube is moisture-boosting and both device- and condom-friendly, while the silicone alternative boasts long-lasting lubrication and is best used with condoms. They’re vegan and cruelty-free with no added fragrance or parabens, so the only thing you have to worry about is deciding which one you’re more in the mood for.

      Author: Nadya Okamoto
      Period Power
      Though not a product you can use on your vagina, this book is a must-have, whether you’re a “menstruator” or not. It takes a deep dive into menstruation, the stigmas and inequities surrounding it, and how to break down the silence, shame, and stigmas to change the conversation around periods. To continue her advocacy, author Nadya Okamoto launched August, a period care company and community that promotes honesty, transparency, inclusivity, and diversity in relation to menstruation.

      Please consult a doctor before beginning any treatments, supplements, or product routines. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

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      17 Unromantic Signs This Person Might Be ‘The One’

      by

      Everything from the classic love affair in Pride and Prejudice to the will-they-or-won’t-they drama of Ross and Rachel teaches us that love is supposed to be extraordinary, make it impossible to sleep or eat, and always ends with a “happily ever after.” As much as rom-coms and the Twilight Saga would have us believe, romance is not actually always about flowers and love poems or grand gestures and public declarations when you find “the one.”
      In real life, the rom-com doesn’t end at the “I do” scene, but it keeps going: through paying bills and tax season, through toddlers and newborns preventing your sleep for days, and through terrifying health scares, boring daily chores, and deaths of the people you love.
      The one you choose to spend forever with is not just your personal romantic comedy—it’s the most important interview of your life. A happy life is about more than love letters and PDA, so you better make sure there’s more to your relationship too. Here are 17 signs the person you’re with might be “the one” that have absolutely nothing to do with butterflies, grand gestures, or romance.

      1. You don’t have to pretend to be interested in them or wish they would be more interested in you
      It’s likely that you and your partner will have many different interests—in fact, you should, or else dating another you would just be boring! You may not always be interested in their passion or hobbies, but you’ll want to learn more because you know how much it matters to them, and you’ll genuinely want to be able to share what they love. You also won’t have to pretend you don’t love broadway musicals as much as you actually do or feel like you can never talk about the latest fashion trends that you know your partner couldn’t care less about—they’ll want to love everything you love and talk about everything you want to talk about.

      2. Errands are kind of… fun
      Going to the grocery store, picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy, and cleaning the house are all part of the mundane routine we have to keep up with through the rest of our lives (sounds depressing, doesn’t it?). But when you do it together, there’s something inherently fun and enjoyable about the tasks that are usually mundane and tedious. Something about your partner makes even the boring feel fun and the average seem exciting.

      3. You don’t have to think twice about asking them for help
      Whether it’s to pick you up from the airport, unclog your drain, or give you advice on a problem you need their perspective on, you don’t have to think about asking your partner for help—you just do it. You trust their opinion, their advice, and their desire to care for you without having to question it for a minute.

      Source: @jessiebbernhardt

      4. They’ll pick up your slack without being asked
      Maybe you came home to your clean laundry that they just threw in with a load of theirs or they bought you a new face serum from CVS when you mentioned you ran out a couple of days ago. It’s more than just the household chores the two of you divide up—it’s the little things they don’t have to do but do just to make your life a little easier and your day a little better.

      5. You can share annoyance, anger, and doubt without worrying about their reaction
      There are absolutely no more deal breakers, and you know it—you can be in a horrible mood without feeling like they’ll think less of you or not want to be around you, and you know they’ll be supportive of your feelings before being defensive of their own if you experience any doubts along the way. You can be more honest with them than you’ve ever been because bigger than anything you’ll ever say or do, you both have a shared understanding that you’re in this life together.

      6. You both have your own thing
      Whether it’s Bachelor Mondays with the girls, painting classes, or hiking trips a couple times a year, you’re both supportive of the other pursuing their own interests and having their own time alone. Time apart doesn’t make either of you insecure, and you should feel like your partner supports you pursuing your passions over their own needs. Plus, you’ll be so excited to tell them about your time apart, whether it’s to rehash the latest gossip between your friends or what you learned in painting class (remember #1?).

      Source: Ron Lach | Pexels

      7. They’ll ask about your day every day
      Perhaps one of the most important pieces of advice I’ve ever received is to be with someone who will ask about your day every day and—wait for it—actually want to hear about it. If the first thing they do when they get home or the first thing they ask when they call is “how was your day?” every single day, you’ve found one of the good ones. Trust me.

      8. You can look at them and, for no reason at all, they make you laugh
      The best friendships are the ones that make you silly for no reason at all—where you just can’t stop laughing, right? If you’re going to spend your life with someone, it better be the best friendship you’ve ever had. If your partner brings out your silliest self and can make you laugh at nothing, you know they’re going to keep you laughing when things get hard, boring, or mundane. Life should be about enjoyment—make a lifelong commitment with someone who brings out the most fun in you.

      9. Bodily functions don’t make you blink
      You should be able to complain about your heavy flow or let out an *accidental* bodily function post-Taco Bell without it feeling like the end of the world. In fact, when you start doing gross things like shave their back or have them pop your pimples (it gets real) and you’re still just as turned on by each other as ever, that’s when you know.

      10. You can talk openly about money
      Besides just being a crucial conversation to have with the person you’re going to be spending your life with, if you’re able to talk about such a tough topic, it’s a good sign that you trust each other. While nothing is less sexy than the money talk (except maybe shaving that back hair), if you can share your financial past, goals, and current habits openly and honestly and you two share financial values similar enough that you don’t go into anaphylactic shock when you hear about theirs, you probably have a pretty strong foundation.

      Source: Ron Lach | Pexels

      11. They call you out when you need to be called out
      “The One” will be the person who is fully dedicated to helping you live your fullest, best, happiest life. This means that they will check you on your destructive habits and hold you accountable when no one else would. They’ll be honest with you—for the sake of making you better, not for the sake of putting you down. They’ll also stand by you, encourage you, and support you when you’re working through issues or going through hard times without any judgment.

      12. Your PDA is less PDA-y
      You don’t necessarily need to go make out on a park bench like you’re teenagers or feel the need to post collages on Instagram with paragraph-long captions about your oh-so-perfect relationship to celebrate every monthiversary. Instead of overt PDA, you display affection by mere accident—exchanging smirks across the room or holding hands under the table. Instead of the public make outs, fondling, or displaying your love all over social media, you publicly tease each other, brag about each other’s accomplishments, and maybe steal a kiss or hug when you don’t think anyone is looking.

      Source: @sassyredlipstick

      13. Date nights out are great, but you have the most fun at home
      When you can sneak away for a night out, of course it’s fun to dress up and go somewhere new or exciting. But if we’re being honest and if we’ve found The One, the most fun “date nights” are sitting at home with a bottle of Trader Joe’s wine, laughing at The Office, talking for hours, or playing the same card game—again. The things that would sound boring to anyone else are the things you find yourself preferring over those fancy dates.
      Anyone can get in the mood for romance when fancy clothing and candlelight are involved, but when it’s just the two of you, with sweatpants and take-out, and it’s somehow the best night ever, you know you could do it for the rest of your life.

      14. You’ve developed your own language no one else can understand
      If your daily conversations are laced with inside jokes or you consistently refer back to movie quotes or moments that will have you both dying with laughter, this person will certainly have you laughing the rest of your life. You share more than the same life and relationship—you share the same humor, and that can make all the difference in the length of a lifetime.

      Source: @hikarimurakami

      15. At the worst times, you want them there
      For most of your past relationships or crushes, it’s likely that they’re the last person you would’ve wanted to be present when you’re hunched over the toilet with food poisoning or crying in your room with a bad panic attack—so embarrassing! But if this partner is the right one, you’ll find yourself calling them when you’re having a panic attack or wishing they were there when you’re really sick (and not just because you know they’d clean up your vomit). Maybe you’ve even considered putting them down as your emergency contact—you know that when anything bad is happening, you’ll feel more comforted and protected with them there.

      16. You don’t question or second guess how they act when you’re not around
      When a friend’s Bachelor/Bachelorette party in Vegas comes up, you don’t feel a pit in your stomach or worry they won’t behave; you’ll just be excited to hear the funny stories when they get home. You also don’t doubt that as nice and wonderful as they are to you is exactly how they act when you’re not around too. You believe with all your heart that however they act, out in the world—whether it’s to other girls or people they don’t have to be nice to like waiters or servers—they treat all other people with the utmost respect and graciousness and will always do you proud.

      17. No matter what mistakes you make or how bad you look, you know they’ll still think of you the same
      In the end, you can be your truest self knowing that’s the you that they love the most. You can make a mistake or say something mean, and they’ll still think the world of you. You can wear second-day leggings and not wash your hair for four days and know they’ll still look at you the same as when you’re in a fancy dress with a blowout. The most romantic moments of our lives are often what happens in the most unromantic times—the bad times, the hard times, the gross times, the lazy times, and the boring times. The One will still see you in those times just as they would in the best times.
      Find the person who loves you for exactly whatever you are—good, bad, grumpy, bloated, messy, scattered, anxious, unfiltered—and to use the quote from Juno that taught me the most about love: “The right person will still think the sun shines out your ass.” Now that’s romantic.

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      How To Meditate Your Way to a Better Sex Life

      by

      I know what you’re thinking: meditation for sex? What do meditation and sex have in common? As it turns out, a lot. The practice of meditation is centered on a mind-body connection, so what if you could use that connection to tap into increased pleasure? Sign us up! A study done by the NATSAL showed that 51% of the women surveyed reported at least one sexual concern that lasted three months or longer, and less than 20% of those women sought out advice or help for it (PSA: Talk to your doctors and partners about increasing pleasure, ladies!). Many of us have experienced sex that isn’t enjoyable and just accepted it as normal, but it’s time to say goodbye to mediocre sex because you deserve to have a great sex life. Here’s how to use meditation to get there.

      How meditation can affect your sex life
      Some studies have shown a direct correlation between sexual functioning and meditation and that people who meditate experience a higher chance of sexual arousal. To me, this just makes sense. As a certified Breathwork Facilitator, I incorporate a meditation practice into my daily routine. When I stray from that routine (as we all do from time to time), I notice changes in my mood, energy, and attention. I am more irritable, less focused, and usually come home exhausted. The combo of those three emotions is not a recipe for a great day, let alone a great orgasm. In order for sex to be pleasurable, you have to connect to your body and feel confident in your desires. Consistent meditation can help boost overall mood and energy, which gives us the best chance to get in the mood for sex.
      In addition, practices from meditation can help us stay present during sex, which leads to greater pleasure. When meditating, we focus on how the breath moves through the body and out the mouth. Sometimes, other thoughts will arise, but we remind ourselves to go back to the breath. If we apply this same practice to sex, we’re less likely to think about how our bodies look, worry if we’re satisfying the other person, or zone out and think about tomorrow’s to-do list. Meditation allows us to stay present and tuned into our bodies. Sex and meditation both require ultimate mind-body connection; you can’t have an orgasm unless your mind and body are equally stimulated.

      Meditations for a better sex life
      Meditation to improve body image
      We are our own worst critics, and most of the time, it starts with the way we look. If you want to feel comfortable being naked with another person, you first have to feel comfortable being naked on your own. Try this practice every day to improve your confidence. Each morning when getting ready for the day, take a look in the mirror and smile at yourself: Look at your cheekbones, eyes, ears, and every little freckle, appreciating all of it.
      Repeat this for a couple of days, and then try it again but without your shirt. Look at your upper torso, breasts, and stomach, smiling and sending love to every body part. A couple of days later (after you feel more confident), try this practice fully naked. It might feel weird and uncomfortable, but that’s OK. Tell yourself, “My body is beautiful” (even if you don’t believe it), and repeat this over and over again. Continue this practice until you start to believe the compliments you’re giving yourself.

      Meditation to improve mindfulness
      Nothing kills the mood like being distracted. It’s hard to have great sex unless we are in the moment, and being present is a skill that can be honed. This meditation is great to do before sex to help you get in the right mindset. Start by sitting in a comfortable position with your feet on the ground. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, then breathe up and out of your mouth. Repeat a couple more times. Relax your shoulders and feel your feet on the ground. Feel the surface beneath them and feel the heaviness of your feet as they connect to the earth.
      Allow whatever has gone on today that made you happy, sad, or angry to flow out of you, through your feet, and into the earth. Just let it all go until you feel lighter. Now that your mind is clear, return to your breathing and notice how your chest rises and falls. Become aware of how the breath travels through your body without judging whether it’s fast or slow. If your mind wanders, simply come back to the breath. Now, repeat the phrase “I am here.” When you are ready, slowly open your eyes. 

      Meditation to increase pleasure
      Do you know what turns you on? I’m talking about your wildest fantasies—the stuff you’re maybe too fearful to admit to your partner (or even yourself). The goal of this meditation is to connect to your deepest turn-ons. To start, sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take a deep breath through the nose and out through the mouth. Repeat this until you feel more relaxed and centered in the body.
      Now, tune into your sensations. Notice the hairs that stand up on your skin, the feeling of your heart beating against your chest, and the temperature of your body. Now, ask yourself, “Where do I feel pleasure?” Allow yourself to let go of any preconceived notions of where pleasure should be or what your fantasies should be. This is your private meditation. Feel that desire in your body, wherever it is, and allow it to flow to other areas of the body. Permit yourself to feel this pleasure during sex and to feel the joy of it fully. When you are ready, you can slowly open your eyes.

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