I know what you’re thinking: meditation for sex? What do meditation and sex have in common? As it turns out, a lot. The practice of meditation is centered on a mind-body connection, so what if you could use that connection to tap into increased pleasure? Sign us up! A study done by the NATSAL showed that 51% of the women surveyed reported at least one sexual concern that lasted three months or longer, and less than 20% of those women sought out advice or help for it (PSA: Talk to your doctors and partners about increasing pleasure, ladies!). Many of us have experienced sex that isn’t enjoyable and just accepted it as normal, but it’s time to say goodbye to mediocre sex because you deserve to have a great sex life. Here’s how to use meditation to get there.
How meditation can affect your sex life
Some studies have shown a direct correlation between sexual functioning and meditation and that people who meditate experience a higher chance of sexual arousal. To me, this just makes sense. As a certified Breathwork Facilitator, I incorporate a meditation practice into my daily routine. When I stray from that routine (as we all do from time to time), I notice changes in my mood, energy, and attention. I am more irritable, less focused, and usually come home exhausted. The combo of those three emotions is not a recipe for a great day, let alone a great orgasm. In order for sex to be pleasurable, you have to connect to your body and feel confident in your desires. Consistent meditation can help boost overall mood and energy, which gives us the best chance to get in the mood for sex.
In addition, practices from meditation can help us stay present during sex, which leads to greater pleasure. When meditating, we focus on how the breath moves through the body and out the mouth. Sometimes, other thoughts will arise, but we remind ourselves to go back to the breath. If we apply this same practice to sex, we’re less likely to think about how our bodies look, worry if we’re satisfying the other person, or zone out and think about tomorrow’s to-do list. Meditation allows us to stay present and tuned into our bodies. Sex and meditation both require ultimate mind-body connection; you can’t have an orgasm unless your mind and body are equally stimulated.
Meditations for a better sex life
Meditation to improve body image
We are our own worst critics, and most of the time, it starts with the way we look. If you want to feel comfortable being naked with another person, you first have to feel comfortable being naked on your own. Try this practice every day to improve your confidence. Each morning when getting ready for the day, take a look in the mirror and smile at yourself: Look at your cheekbones, eyes, ears, and every little freckle, appreciating all of it.
Repeat this for a couple of days, and then try it again but without your shirt. Look at your upper torso, breasts, and stomach, smiling and sending love to every body part. A couple of days later (after you feel more confident), try this practice fully naked. It might feel weird and uncomfortable, but that’s OK. Tell yourself, “My body is beautiful” (even if you don’t believe it), and repeat this over and over again. Continue this practice until you start to believe the compliments you’re giving yourself.
Meditation to improve mindfulness
Nothing kills the mood like being distracted. It’s hard to have great sex unless we are in the moment, and being present is a skill that can be honed. This meditation is great to do before sex to help you get in the right mindset. Start by sitting in a comfortable position with your feet on the ground. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in through your nose, then breathe up and out of your mouth. Repeat a couple more times. Relax your shoulders and feel your feet on the ground. Feel the surface beneath them and feel the heaviness of your feet as they connect to the earth.
Allow whatever has gone on today that made you happy, sad, or angry to flow out of you, through your feet, and into the earth. Just let it all go until you feel lighter. Now that your mind is clear, return to your breathing and notice how your chest rises and falls. Become aware of how the breath travels through your body without judging whether it’s fast or slow. If your mind wanders, simply come back to the breath. Now, repeat the phrase “I am here.” When you are ready, slowly open your eyes.
Meditation to increase pleasure
Do you know what turns you on? I’m talking about your wildest fantasies—the stuff you’re maybe too fearful to admit to your partner (or even yourself). The goal of this meditation is to connect to your deepest turn-ons. To start, sit in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Take a deep breath through the nose and out through the mouth. Repeat this until you feel more relaxed and centered in the body.
Now, tune into your sensations. Notice the hairs that stand up on your skin, the feeling of your heart beating against your chest, and the temperature of your body. Now, ask yourself, “Where do I feel pleasure?” Allow yourself to let go of any preconceived notions of where pleasure should be or what your fantasies should be. This is your private meditation. Feel that desire in your body, wherever it is, and allow it to flow to other areas of the body. Permit yourself to feel this pleasure during sex and to feel the joy of it fully. When you are ready, you can slowly open your eyes.