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      I Have Social Anxiety–These Tips Help Me Actually Enjoy Holiday Parties

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      Watch any Hallmark Christmas movie and you’ll see a winter wonderland filled with family and friends, baking cookies, holiday shopping, and a lot of celebration. While I’m fully on board with festive movie marathons and indulging in the traditions that come with the holiday season, there is one part of it that peaks my anxiety: holiday parties. 
      Between the office holiday party, annual family get-together, Friendsmas potluck, and white elephant exchange, it can feel like every weekend is committed to a social gathering. As an introvert with social anxiety, it’s hard to keep up with the constant holiday celebrations, but I’ve learned to prepare for such events in a way that I can enjoy the night and check my anxiety at the door. Ahead, the tips I keep in my back pocket to help me get through holiday parties with ease.

      1. Meditate
      Social anxiety doesn’t just occur at social events. It usually arrives well before the party has even begun, which is why it’s important to set yourself up for success ahead of time. My getting-ready routine not only involves a good playlist and make-up tutorial, but also setting aside some time to meditate before heading out. Meditation is already a part of my daily routine, but on a night when I’m attending a big event that I know will trigger my anxiety, I’ll add a 10-20 minute guided meditation sesh (through either the Unplug or Superhuman app) beforehand to help calm my nerves and get me in the right headspace. Just by prioritizing meditation, I can walk out the door feeling ready to socialize with confidence. 

      2. Practice an affirmation
      Affirmations often go hand-in-hand with meditation practices, but I find they’re also particularly helpful on their own to repeat to yourself during situations that may cause anxiety. The benefits come from repeating the word or phrase over and over again, which creates a focal point to align yourself in the present moment. You can create your own affirmations specific to the situations that cause you social anxiety or you can try some more general sayings, like “I am a friendly person,” “I am confident,” “I enjoy meeting new people,” and “I am relaxed in social situations.” Practicing an affirmation before or during a social event can be a great aid in working through any social anxiety that may arise. 

      3. Bring a friend
      Experiencing any mental health struggles can be especially difficult during this season, but the good news is you don’t have to go it alone. Despite the common perception that we have to face our struggles around anxiety on our own, having friends by my side who understand my anxiety has made it much easier for me to navigate social events. If there’s a party I don’t feel comfortable going to alone, I bring a friend. If simply the idea of attending a social event solo causes anxiety, bring someone you trust and who can be your support system throughout the night as your plus one. You just might find yourself so wrapped up in the holiday spirit that you forget why you were even anxious about attending the event in the first place.

      4. Have a plan
      For me, the lead-up to any event is when my anxiety creeps up. My mind often races between thoughts like, “What if I have no one to talk to?” and “What if I get stuck seated next to someone I don’t know?” I obsess over what time to arrive, what to wear, who is attending, and what will happen at the event. It can become so overwhelming that oftentimes it feels easier to just not attend at all. But over the years, I’ve learned not to let my anxiety get in the way of having fun, because yes, holiday parties can be a lot of fun!  You just have to be mentally prepared with a game plan.
      Anxiety takes over when you feel a lack of control, so for starters, I think of every social anxiety-inducing situation that could happen at the party and come up with a plan. One might be standing alone and not feeling comfortable joining a conversation. In that case, make your way to a space you feel comfortable in and that will make it easier for you to socialize, like the bar/food area or even the bathroom (a lot of people love to socialize in restrooms of restaurants, bars, etc.). You can even have some questions in the back of your mind to ask people if you feel stuck, such as “What are your plans for the holidays?” 

      5. Congratulate yourself
      Living with social anxiety can feel like an ongoing battle. Sometimes you don’t know when or how it will arise. So when you do have to face it, whether at a holiday party or a work dinner, it’s important to remember that just leaving the house is a win. Congratulate yourself for putting on that LBD and spending a couple of hours in a social situation that may make you want to run home and crawl into bed. Try making a list of all the little wins you had that evening, and remember them the next time you are attending a social event. We often forget to stop and take note of what we’ve accomplished, which includes surviving social anxiety during the holiday season.

      10 Habits Women Who Are Always in Shape Adopt During the Holidays More

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      A Nutritionist Swears These Hacks Will Help You Eat Healthier During the Holidays

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      Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

      ‘Tis the season—that is, ‘tis the season for green beans to carry the entire nutritional value of our holiday meals on their backs. Healthy eating during the holidays can be incredibly difficult: from grappling with guilt for indulging to limited healthy options, sometimes an event that is meant to be festive can instantly become stressful.
      This week on The Everygirl Podcast, we spoke with Lisa Moskovitz, a registered dietitian and nutritionist, to break down all of the stressors related to food and eating during the holidays, and exactly how to tackle them. Moskovitz is an expert on all things related to intuitive eating, maintaining a healthy relationship with food, and combating diet culture. So read on for Moskovitz’s top three tips for healthy eating during the holidays without stress (hint: the green beans are definitely gonna make the plate), and check out this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast for more.

      1. Reevaluate your relationship with food through reflective journaling
      Chances are that at some point in your life, you’ve heard that the most common time of year to gain weight is the holiday season, and–if you have a complicated relationship with food–you might find this fact very stressful. Moskovitz wants to put your mind at ease, because she has found through her own nutrition practice that the average winter weight gain for most people is less than 1lb (so it is not worth the stress!). For Moskovitz, the far more important thing than what you are eating during the holiday season is why you are eating it.
      In order to combat some of the complex feelings about food and nutrition that can come up during the holiday season, Moskovitz recommends getting into journaling. This does not mean tracking your calories in a journal or even writing down what you eat; instead, Moskovitz recommends writing about how you feel about food and the holiday season first. Asking yourself why you might feel triggered by certain foods, or even just thinking about what it means to you to be able to sit down and truly enjoy a holiday meal with your loved ones can make all the difference in your mindset approaching the holiday season.

      2. Eat balanced meals at regular intervals
      We’ve all been there: it’s 3 p.m. on one of the busiest work days leading up to the holidays, and suddenly you realize that the last thing you ate was a plate of cookies and a glass of eggnog the night before. As busy as this time of year may be, Moskovitz emphasizes the importance of eating meals at regular intervals as often as possible. “With holidays, especially if you are someone who’s hosting or preparing or busy with deadlines, it’s very common and easy to skip meals,” Moskovitz said. “What I always tell people is that you can eat a little bit now, or you can eat a lot more later. It’s very important to be consistent with eating times and stay nourished.”
      According to Moskovitz, eating balanced meals regularly will make it much easier to be mindful about your food choices during the holiday season. Her formula for a well-balanced meal includes fiber-rich carbs, lean proteins, and anti-inflammatory fats. When you stay consistent with your eating habits, you can feel the benefits of a stable mood, less anxiety about food, and more energy throughout the entire season.

      3. Fill half of your plate with vegetables
      As wonderful as they are, holiday buffets can be overwhelming. Moskovitz says there are just two key questions to ask yourself when faced with any food choices: what am I craving, and how can I make this more nutritious? She emphasizes that it’s not about labeling foods as good or bad, or about calorie counting: it’s about eating in tune with what you know will satisfy you and make you feel best. If you do want to follow a formula, Moskovitz suggests filling half of your plate with vegetables, a quarter with protein, and a quarter with a starch. She says that it is always important to include something you’re craving on your plate, whether it’s mac and cheese or a slice of pie, because doing so will allow you to eat healthy while still genuinely enjoying a delicious holiday meal. More

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      A Manifestation Expert Shares 5 Life-Changing Hacks That You Haven’t Heard Yet

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      It seems as though a new manifestation method pops up every other week (thanks, #ManifestationTok), making it hard to know where to even begin, not to mention decipher between what’s legit and just BS. And if you’re trying to get ahead of your goal-setting for 2023, it’s prime time to nail down the practice for some serious manifesting, because there are incorrect ways to attract what you want in life–it’s not as cut and dry as “ask, and you shall receive.” So I grilled Kathleen Cameron, manifestation expert, coach, and author of Becoming The One, to set the record straight and dish out her tried-and-true hacks to live our best lives. On tap: manifesting your dreams. 

      Meet the expert
      Kathleen Cameron
      Manifestation Expert and Author
      Kathleen Cameron is a success, life, and manifestation coach. Her innovative approach to manifestation led to the creation of Diamond Academy Coaching where she helps students grow in all areas of life through online coaching and in-person seminars. Kathleen helps others step into their true potential to become the best version of themselves and facilitates bringing their goals to reality.

      1. Transform your beliefs
      Manifestation is not a one-and-done situation. You’re always manifesting, whether you realize it or not, and it starts with your thoughts. “The first step in manifesting is becoming an observer of your own thoughts,” explained Cameron. “What thoughts and beliefs are limiting and how can you move them to be empowering? That’s how you manifest!” For example, Cameron broke down the thought process of manifesting your dream home: shift your beliefs from “I’ll never live in a house that big” to “I’d love to live in a house that big” to finally, “Wow, look at me living in a house this big!” 
      The same goes for any doubts you may have about the power of manifestation. “Really opening the veil of skepticism and opening your mind to a different possibility is what is going to help you change the course of your own life,” Cameron affirmed. “Your thoughts have created the day you lived today. If you want to change your experience, you need to change your thoughts. So, what if you change your thought about manifestation?”
       

      2. Find an approach that works for you
      From journaling and vision boards to positive affirmations and the 369 method, the world is your manifestation oyster. So how do you determine which manifestation technique is the crème de la crème for you? “It comes down to the type of person you are and the type of things you enjoy doing,” Cameron stated. “It’s important to find an approach that works for you and makes you feel joy, excitement, and alignment. Choose that one.” 
      Whether you’re new to manifesting or looking for a fresh start, Cameron recommended starting with journaling. By putting pen to paper, you get in tune with your thoughts and become aware of any judgments or limiting beliefs that are blocking you from your desires. Because you’re letting your thoughts flow, you can consciously identify any that are coming from a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. Then, you can work on reframing those lack-based thoughts into abundant thoughts (read: focusing on what you do have).
      There’s one caveat to journaling: Cameron warned that writing down what you want over and over doesn’t actually create consistent sustainable manifestations. It may bring about the one thing you’re going after here and there, but in order to experience a true outer transformation, you have to start with your “inside world.”  

      3. Do the inner work
      No matter how you approach manifestation, you’ve got to do a deep-dive into self-reflection and self-discovery (AKA inner work), and peel back the layers. “It’s about how you see yourself that leads to the manifestation,” expressed Cameron. “Doing it ‘incorrectly’ is when you change nothing about yourself and try to manifest something different. It all starts with you!” Cameron suggested asking yourself, “Who am I?” to uncover what you want to change about yourself. 
      Trying to attract something into your life without working through your fears, negative emotions, and limiting patterns is the most common manifesting mistake Cameron sees. Bottom line: If you’re the same person you’ve always been with the same thoughts, actions, and feelings, you won’t get different results. “The different result comes from being a different version of yourself,” she said. “Manifestation is a transformation.”

      4. Be the dream version of yourself
      It goes without saying that we all have something we want to bring to fruition, whether it’s a soulmate, job, or home. Cameron’s #1 tip to attracting whatever you want? “You need to be the dream version of yourself,” she attested. “Everything is an attraction, you attract what you are, and you attract the energy that you’re in. The first step and the most important thing to do is to make sure you’re operating on a frequency of vibration that is a match to the thing you desire. If you want to feel and attract this big love into your life, you have to be loving now.”
      Reflect on and identify who you want to be (read: your highest self): Where are you living? What do you do for work? What are you wearing? Who are you with? Then, start showing up as if you are already that person. Approach every situation and decision—no matter how big or small—as the best version of yourself. The best part? Evoking the feeling of your future self will help you align with and become her.  
       
      5. Supplement with visualization
      PSA: Your manifestation method doesn’t have to be fancy or on-trend. Cameron said visualization is the most powerful thing you could do, recommending five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. “Visualize yourself in a scene where the manifestation has happened, then apply the feeling of the wish fulfilled,” she said. In other words, picture what you’re seeking and your highest self who already has it, down to the micro-details. “The fastest way to manifest what you want has more to do with the vividness of the image you have,” said Cameron. The winning combination is visualizing what you want, the feeling of it being fulfilled, and the belief that you have the ability to obtain it. 
      Good news: If you’ve ever created a vision board, you’re ahead of the game. By gathering words, images, or objects that represent the future you want in a tangible form (physically or digitally) will not only help you focus on your dream life, but also activate the good vibes, connections, and resources needed to realize it. If vision boarding isn’t your cup of tea, you can try listening to a guided meditation, taking a few minutes to imagine your future (best) self first thing in the morning, or saying daily affirmations (think: “I am strong, I am confident, I am motivated. My life is full of abundance.”) 
       

      The Everygirl’s Guide to Manifestation and Achieving Your Best Life More

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      8 Ways To Treat Yourself During the Busiest (and Gloomiest) Time of Year

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      You’re booked and busy, you’re freezing, and you don’t want to get out of your flare leggings? It must be the end of the year. Let me guess: You know exactly what you have to do and where you have to be for the next few months between end-of-year projects and holiday events, but you have hardly taken any time at all to think about what you are going to need to power through the season? We are right there with you. So before the year passes us by, we are thinking about how we can take time for ourselves among the chaos, and we are sharing them with you here. Ahead, 10 ways that you can treat yourself during the busiest (and gloomiest) time of year.

      1. Get a new pair of cozy slippers
      Our slippers get a lot more attention than any of our other shoes during this time of year, so buying a new pair of comfortable, high-quality slippers should be first on your treat-yourself list. SeaVees’ SeaChange Slippers are our go-to slippers because they are extra comfy due to their recycled fleece, and they have a long-lasting natural rubber outsole—meaning you can wear them inside your home and out without fear of ruining them. Plus you can feel good about buying them because every pair sold from this collection gives back $1 to SeaTrees, a non-profit that works to restore blue carbon coastal ecosystems and ocean health globally. Win-win!

      SeaChange Slippers
      These slippers are an editor-favorite for a reason. With an extra comfy, recycled fleece footbed for comfort and a long-lasting rubber outsole, these slippers are perfect for inside of your home and out.
      Use code EVERYGIRL for 20% off of your first purchase at SeaVees + enter our giveaway HERE to enter to win two pairs of SeaVees shoes of your choice, free!

      2. Book a spa treatment
      The business of the season distracts us from the self-care time we really need, but the best way to make sure you have it is by booking a treatment into your calendar. Block off your schedule for a few hours (or the whole day if you can manage it), and treat yourself to a massage, brow tint, facial, lash refill, you name it. You will come out of your appointment feeling relaxed and refreshed which is exactly what the doctor orders this time of year.

      3. Get a blowout
      Between Q4 deadlines and holiday events, who has the time to wash and blowout their own hair? Not us. Give your stylists a call and book a blowout for the busiest week on your calendar so you don’t have to worry about styling your hair yourself. This will serve as a time-saver for at least 4-5 days, and it will force you to sit in the salon chair and relax for an hour.

      4. Refresh your space
      We spend a lot of time in our homes this season—whether it’s because we are forced to stay in from a snowstorm or because we are so busy that we barely look up from our WFH space. If you’re going to be spending so much time at home, it’s a good time to refresh your space. Here are some ideas: rearrange your furniture, switch out your art prints, buy a new shower curtain, or pick out new cozy bedding.

      5. Use your PTO
      I know what you’re thinking, but yes, you DO have the time to take the day off even during the busiest time of the year. And you better use your PTO before you lose it come January 1! Look at your schedule and pick a day to either do absolutely nothing at all or spend it checking off the things that have been on your to-do list for weeks.

      6. Take a bubble bath
      In the summer, most of us don’t want to be bothered with a hot bath, but when it’s cold and grey outside, nothing sounds more relaxing than running a bath, lighting a seasonal candle, and most importantly, putting our phones on Do Not Disturb. Order a luxurious bath soak, put “Bubble Bath” into your calendar as a scheduled solo date, and take in the mind and body benefits. You will feel refreshed in no time.

      7. Try a new workout class
      Have you been eying up the new pilates studio on your block? Is there a class style at your gym that you’ve been wanting to try? Now is the time. Reserve a spot in class to switch up your routine. Not only will you benefit from the endorphins, but you might find your new favorite workout style or meet some new people. Pro tip: If going to a new class makes you nervous, treat yourself to a new matching set for motivation and a confidence boost.

      8. Take care of your skin
      I don’t know about you, but my skin takes an absolute beating in the winter months. Due to the lower level of moisture in the air, my hands crack and itch, and my face is under the impression that it needs to produce even more oil to hydrate itself, leading to breakouts. If you experience skincare woes in the winter too, set time aside to pay extra attention to your skin. This could mean researching new products, not rushing through your skincare routine, or checking in with your dermatologist.

      Sleep-Care Is the New Self-Care: Here’s How You Should Upgrade Your Routine

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of SeaVees, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      8 Products That Will Help You Romanticize Your Life This Fall

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      While I could go on about the benefits of fall (the fashion, Gilmore Girls reruns, PSLs, and of course, Halloween), it also has its downsides. With less sunlight and colder weather, fall can be the start of seasonal depression, and many of us may feel a little down or just plain blah. One way to help boost your mood? Romanticize your life. 
      Romanticizing your life is the act of finding joy in the mundane, day-to-day life. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine that just involves moving from one activity to the next, but romanticizing your life allows you to slow down and find joy in the little things. Whether it’s spicing up your wellness routine, investing in your personal development, or changing your evening wind-down, the options for romanticizing your life are unlimited. To help you get started, I’ve put together a list of products to help you romanticize your life for fall.

      Sunrise Alarm Clock
      Do you know what’s not romantic? Your alarm clock. I spent years waking up to the repetitive sound of my phone alarm before investing in a sunrise alarm clock, which was a total game-changer. I fully believe that how you start your day can impact the rest of it. Having a morning routine that begins with the sunrise alarm clock not only sets the tone for my day, it also means I don’t look at my phone first thing in the morning. Instead, I journal and meditate before getting ready for the day.

      Silk Pajamas
      Yes, you can even romanticize your sleep routine. Splurging on a pair of silk pajamas will not only get you one step closer to feeling like a Kardashian, but it will also help you look forward to something as mundane as a nightly routine. I can vouch that switching out a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt for these PJs has definitely elevated my sleep game. There’s nothing more luxurious than walking around your home in something that feels as elegant as you are. As a bonus, they’re machine-washable. Available in five colors.

      Mala the Brand
      Pumpkin Latte Candle
      One of the best ways to romanticize your life during the change in seasons is to switch up your home environment, and you don’t have to break the bank to do it. Making small changes, such as adding a fall-scented candle, is a great way to refresh your home. This eco-friendly pumpkin latte one from Mala the Brand is not only seasonally on brand, but also made from coconut-soy wax and phthalate and paraben-free fragrance and essential oils. Can’t you just picture lighting this candle and sitting down with a good read?

      Monika Hibbs
      Gather at Home: Over 100 Simple Recipes, DIYs, and Inspiration for a Year of Occasions
      This coffee table book gives you a little bit of everything. “Gather at Home” is a collection of recipes and DIY crafts categorized seasonally. From making pumpkin cashew coffee creamer to Thanksgiving dinner thankful cards and pumpkin spice blend, this book has the best mix of fall DIYs. It’s the must-have guidebook for romanticizing any meal or special occasion this fall.

      Superhuman
      Guided Meditation App
      As a breathwork facilitator, I believe there’s no better way to romanticize your life than  switching up your meditation routine. I recently started using the Superhuman App, a guided meditation app, and have been blown away by the benefits. It offers a wide array of meditations you can do anytime: while getting ready in the morning for work, going for a walk, or doing the laundry. Every meditation I’ve done resets my mind and helps me look at my environment in a more positive light. To give you another reason to try out the app, they have a meditation called “Romanticize Your Life.”

      dōTERRA®
      Essential Oils
      Essential oils can have a major impact on your living space and your body. Add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to a diffuser and instantly refresh your environment. Each oil has different properties that can affect your body in different ways. For example, lavender is known to be a calming oil that can soothe the skin and aid in restful sleep. Doterra carries so many naturally-sourced oils to choose from, each with its own benefits. Some of my favorites for the fall season include frankincense, which has a warm and spicy aroma that reminds me of fall, and vetiver, which has relaxing properties and makes a great addition to a warm bath. Choose from over 30+ oils.

      Anthropologie
      Pumpkin Mug
      Part of romanticizing your life means treating yourself because you deserve it! Adding a new fall mug to your morning coffee routine is just the ticket to get you excited to wake up and start your day. Because, what’s fall without the pumpkin-spiced latte? And this pumpkin-shaped mug from Anthropologie will be your new favorite go-to for the season. After all, romanticizing your life is about adding joy to your daily routine.

      Bath Salts
      I don’t think there’s a better way to romanticize your life than a warm bath at the end of a long day. Take it up a notch and upgrade your standard bath ritual, starting with these bath salts from Maude. Made with calming salt crystals from the Dead Sea, you’ll immediately feel the detoxifying and relaxing benefits. Soak while listening to music, reading, or sipping on your favorite fall beverage. Available in three different scents. 

      This article is meant to serve as inspiration for boosting mood, not as treatment for seasonal affective disorder, anxiety, or depression. If you think you may be experiencing mental health symptoms, it’s important to reach out and get help. See your doctor, get in contact with a therapist, and/or talk to a close friend or family member.

      Can’t Live Without PSLs? Here’s How Experts Make Them Super Healthy More

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      We All Have a Little Witch In Us—These Wellness Rituals Will Help Bring Out Yours

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      No doubt about it–fall is magical. The leaves change into all sorts of vibrant hues, the scent of cinnamon is everywhere you go, and the chill in the air bites in a way that almost feels personal. It’s a season that feels so alive, so it’s no wonder that fall is directly tied to mysticism. So much so that one of the key images of the season is a witch (Hocus Pocus, anyone?). Of course, with that title also comes dated stereotypes of what it means to be a witch: flying broomsticks, evil cauldrons, and a desire to eat children. But the true definition of a witch isn’t so easy to nail down.
      Historically, witches, or people accused of being witches, have come in many different forms, but most of them were women, and they were far from monstrous. Rather, they were masters of wellness, specializing in herbalism, midwifery, and other healing practices. Modern women are turning these rituals more mainstream, finding deep connection to the earth and nature, and leaning into practices that enhance their quality of life. So if you really think about it, embodying your inner witch is in itself a wellness practice. Read on for some wellness rituals that witches throughout the ages have used and loved that will help amplify your health for fall and beyond.

      1. Be more intentional with essential oils
      Scent is known to trigger both emotion and memory, so you can use scent to enhance your sense of self and impact the way you relate to the world around you. Instead of just the typical diffusing lavender oil to relax or sniffing peppermint oil for energy, DIY your own potions (see what I did there?) so you can tap into the kind of energy and emotion you associate with that scent at any time. Sniff or diffuse a wide range of essential oils (eucalyptus, lemon, etc.) and either see how the scent makes you feel or you can associate an affirmation to the smell.
      To take it a step further, blend your own concoction by starting with a base like jojoba or extra virgin olive oil, and pour into a small vial with a roller ball for easier application. Add a few drops of the essential oil of your choice to the base (essential oil alone might be irritating for the skin, which is why you combine with another oil to dilute) to rub onto temples, wrists, or other pressure points when needed. Top off the vial with some flower petals or fresh herbs to enhance the smell while beautifying the blend. As with all rituals, remember that setting an intention for the practice will amplify its effects. Assign a word (like bravery, compassion, or confidence) to your potion and apply the oil to your skin whenever you need to be reminded of that intention. 

      2. Update your bath routine
      Baths have been important for both hygiene and ritual for centuries. Water has often been used not only to cleanse the body, but also your mind and energy. And when you’re intentional about supplementing your bath water with herbs, flowers, or crystals, you can amplify its healing properties. Forget boring bubble bath–there are countless combinations you can create when devising your bath ritual. I like basil or eucalyptus plants to relax muscles, lavender or chamomile to relax the mind, rose petals and basil for skin glow, or crystals like Rose quartz and Amethyst to clear out anxious energy and invite peace into your space. 
      I believe that if you’re drawn to a particular plant or crystal, your intuition is guiding you to use it for your benefit. But if you’re a researcher like me, feel free to hit the books (like here or here) for all the healing properties that plants and stones have to offer. Go wild and apply whatever calls to you. Once again, bath rituals are sealed by the intentions you set for them, so think about what you’re cleansing, renewing, healing, or inviting in.

      3. Light some incense to reset energy in your space
      Many different cultures throughout history have burned herbs and incense as a way to clear stale energy from a space to make it feel vibrant and fresh. With the rise in palo santo and sage becoming more mainstream, it’s important to honor and remember where they come from, so do your research and honor the ritual. For incense, Frankincense and Myrrh are two options that have withstood the test of time and are still known for their healing properties. When it comes to lighting herbs and incense, do your research and find a type that calls to you to clear out space in. your home. 
      And remember, intention has to be at the core of any ritual. If it’s not, the practice is just fluff. Set the intention to clear stuck energy and invite fresh, loving vibes into your home. As the scent lingers, visualize the space being utilized in a way that feels good to you. This is a great ritual to do consistently, especially when you’re using your space as a work-from-home set-up. This ritual can help you meet specific goals at work, or ease out of work mode into relaxation. 

      4. Future journal to become the person you want to be
      You didn’t think I’d write a witchy post without at least one nod to spell-casting, did you? Journaling is a powerful way to cast daily “spells” because you are quite literally alchemizing your thoughts into tangible words on a page. Journaling in itself is a little bit magical. When you journal your intentions for how you want to feel, what you want to be doing, or how you want to be acting in the future, you’re better able to visualize yourself in that future role. This makes it easier to embody yourself in that role now, which is one of the fastest ways to manifest the life you want.
      So go ahead and write about the higher version of yourself. Then focus on all the elements I just laid out: how you want to feel, how you want to act, and what you’d like to be doing in the future. Take a few moments to embody who it is you’ve just written about, and notice how your energy shifts. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

      5. Choose a single-word affirmation for each day
      If journaling feels like too lengthy an endeavor, another quick alchemizing trick is to choose a word or phrase that you want to embody on any given day. For example, if you have a big meeting you’re a little nervous about, “capable” might be your word of choice. Visualize yourself completely personifying this word and feel free to write it down somewhere that will be visible to you all day long, like on a post-it note by your desk. It can be just as powerful to embody a single word as it is to envision an entire future for yourself, so long as you set the intention to make it stick.

      6. Connect with nature on a regular basis
      Science has proven that electrons on the earth’s surface can transfer energy from the ground to our bodies, calming our nervous systems. We know that nature is healing. But guess what? Cultures, tribes, and world religions have known that for thousands of years (including witches). Anyone with a keen sensitivity to shifting energy will argue that the effects of this particular ritual are undeniable. Try earthing or grounding, which involves walking barefoot outside, or forest bathing, which means being in nature (a trail, forest, park, etc.) to reap more benefits.
      Take a moment to feel your bare feet on the ground in whatever way feels comfortable. Visualize any energy that does not serve you being pulled into the ground, feel gratitude for the oxygen that trees and plants supply, and check in with yourself if there are any insights that come up for you. You might be surprised what comes through. This is an especially good ritual for those of us with busy minds because it encourages us to slow down and reconnect to our inner voice of wisdom. Trust me when I say, your nervous system will thank you.

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      How I Finally Achieved Radical Self-Love, and You Can Too

      by

      Apologies in advance, but I’m going to start things off on a cynical note. I’ve always been suspicious of self-love as a concept—not just because it’s felt elusive for most of my life, but more so as a result of the role it’s taken on in our wellness-obsessed culture. With guided journals, aestheticized card decks, and beauty bundles marketed as tools for self-love, we’ve reached an oversaturation of self-love monetization.
      I’m not surprised. It’s the fate for just about every wellness buzzword out there. For me, to actually experience the confidence, acceptance, and self-actualization that self-love promises, it took stepping away from the glitz and glam of the internet’s interpretation. I had to actually understand what self-love looked like and meant for me. 
      I believe self-love ebbs and flows. It’s a deeply personal exploration of learning to appreciate all that you bring into the world. I’m sharing the steps I took to go from a woman prone to self-critique to a woman who leans into radical self-love every day. This is how I made my new reality. And it’s a reminder that you have the ability, strength, and power to do exactly the same.

      Remember that self-love isn’t a destination
      Spoiler: Self-love isn’t miraculously waking up one day to discover that all the conflicts and struggles in your life have magically sorted themselves out. Experiencing self-love doesn’t take the right workout, the perfect relationship, a rigid diet, or devoted meditation practice. For me to experience self-love, I had to embrace the epiphany that I can practice right now. Self-love isn’t conditional. Everything in our lives doesn’t have to be perfectly sorted out to get there. (Newsflash: Life is, and will forever be, messy.)
      As someone in recovery from an eating disorder, I’m familiar with the culture-driven belief that my body had to look a certain way before I could love it. But in treatment, I was challenged to change my language from critical to accepting. Suddenly, the arms I had thought were too big became the strong, loving vehicles that allowed me to wrap my nearest and dearest in a hug. And the weight I had gained around my tummy transformed into a protective, comforting shelter. Radical self-love takes a shift in perspective and choosing to show up each day with this curiosity, appreciation, and commitment to your whole self.

      Identify and stand up for your needs
      Radical self-love stems from concrete, intentional actions that support all areas of your well-being, happiness, and growth. Self-love requires a certain level of self-respect. And to achieve self-respect, we have to be mindful of the boundaries we set with others. Last week, I was chatting with my therapist about a relationship that was troubling me. I loved and cared for this person, but the effort and energy I put in left me feeling drained. She shared a revelatory phrase that I’ve since posted on my desk: “I can’t help them if it’s hurting me.”
      As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to put others’ needs first—always. But a crucial part of self-love is believing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. Trust in your inherent worth and never sacrifice your well-being. While the nuances of our personal definitions of self-respect vary, this framework is important for shaping our relationship with ourselves. Spend time reflecting on what needs and boundaries look like for you. What practices, rituals, and routines will help you experience self-love each day? Write those down and take action to follow through.

      Bring more of your qualities into the world
      I was at dinner a few nights ago, and toward the end of the evening, we broke out a conversation card deck. It asked us to name a quality we want to bring more of into the world. I thought for a moment and realized that I’d been hiding my penchant for silliness and humor for too long. It took asking myself that question to truly realize that I’d been letting this part of myself lie dormant. I love to laugh, and there’s little else that brings me more joy than to see someone crack a smile because of something I said. 
      Unfortunately, up until this point, I had been harboring a long-held belief that I was supposed to be quiet, serious, and reserved to be taken seriously. But self-love told me to meet myself exactly where I was, exactly as I am. So ask yourself: Is there a truth about yourself that you’re keeping hidden to please others? Reflect on the ease and freedom you would feel to experience every day as your most authentic self. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

      Be open to the new realizations that come with self-love
      Stepping into self-love comes with a healthy dose of vulnerability and the courage to be wholly, authentically you. That will likely bring a lot of changes into your life. While we might default to resisting the discomfort of change, let it flow through you. It can be hard to shift the way you’ve always done things, but allowing these new rhythms into your life can help you experience more self-love each day.
      I track these changes in my journal and take note of when I’m tempted to resist this growth. Also, my partner is my accountability buddy when I’m tempted to choose critique if self-love feels like a challenge. It can be hard to slip into my workout gear when I’m having a bad body image day. But sharing how aligned and connected my body and mind feel post-workout helps me keep this habit. And when I’m not hungry but know that I need a nutrient-dense dinner, journaling about this conflict has helped me view cooking as a nourishing, loving act.

      Commit to the practice of self-love
      Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It isn’t something that we can wait to start practicing when our lives are perfect. The best time to begin your self-love journey is today. Right now. So let these tips guide your way. Some days may be easier than others, but know that you’re always on the path of growing into a more loving and forgiving version of yourself. Self-love is a commitment. It’s something you can return to anytime you feel you’ve forgotten these tips. So start today, and embrace the inevitable twists and turns toward a kinder, gentler state of inner peace.

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      Is There Such a Thing As “Too Much” Self-Care? It’s Time We Reevaluate How To Care for Ourselves

      by

      We are in the self-care era. The concept is so popular and widely embraced that it seems everyone is doing face masks and daily breathwork. But with so many voices applauding new rituals and practices in the name of wellbeing, it can feel a little overwhelming to keep up with it all. And that sensation of feeling overwhelmed begs the question: Is all of this actually making us healthier and happier?
      When scrolling through #wellness TikToks or my Instagram feed, I’m often reminded of how easy it is to get so obsessive about eating “clean” that it actually becomes stressful. The irony, of course, is that stress is bad for us too–including over-stressing about food. So, where else in our wellness routines do we care so much about hitting the mark that we inexplicably miss it? As it turns out, a lot of places. We can be so rigid with being “healthy” that it becomes unhealthy. So, could the same be true with our culture’s self-care obsession? 
      Before we dive in, you should know that I am pro-wellness. Like big time, it-saved-my-life kinda stuff. But as with all passions, there’s a tipping point. I believe we should all have self-care routines. I believe our bodies deserve (and need!) time, energy, and resources to help them feel their best. But sometimes, we become so mindless with our habits—and get so involved in the latest trends—that the practices meant to help us become harmful. Here’s how to know if your self-care routine is truly caring for you and tips to reevaluate your self-care practices now.

      When self-care becomes damaging
      The wellness industry means well. However, in the name of making money, it can play a little too much into our fears. It can make us feel like we’re not doing, paying, or being enough. Like, “Hey, are you zen enough? Are you going to wrinkle quicker than you should? Are your insides quietly decomposing before their time? Good news! There’s a skin cream, green powder, or alt-therapy for that!”
      It’s like there are two different versions of caring for yourself. First, there are self-care practices you do because you love yourself and know you deserve rest, care, and joy. These practices support a healthy relationship with self-care. They help us feel good, and they don’t suffocate the rest of our lives. Then, there are self-care practices you do because you don’t feel good enough as you already are. This can become a stressful obsession with the impossible pursuit to make your body and mind forever flawless.
      I’ve experienced both forms, and if you’re into wellness like I am, you probably have, too. Thankfully, I’ve learned a few things about identifying self-care practices and whether or not they’re genuinely caring for you. So, read on for some key tips to reevaluate your self-care routine and make sure it’s actually caring for you.

      Tips to Reevaluate Your Self-Care Routine
       
      Get honest with yourself
      Before you can even begin to protect yourself against accidental self-sabotage, you need to have “the talk.” What kind of relationship do you currently have with self-care? Is it flirtatious and fun? Committed and energizing? Or does it talk down to you and make you feel small? Do you feel pressure to keep it up? Does it feel like a chore? If you feel uncomfortable in your relationship with self-care, you can repair it. Awareness is one of the greatest powers at your disposal. Simply acknowledging where you’re at can give you the power to shift course.

      Name your fears
      Whether or not you have a healthy relationship with self-care, you undoubtedly have some wellness-related fears. For instance, I sometimes fear that I’m accidentally doing something bad for me that I think is good for me—like a health supplement that is actually filled with toxins. Other fears might include that you’re aging too fast, falling behind with your health, or that you have to strive for perfection. Maybe you even have some internalized fatphobia or orthorexic behavior where food that’s not considered nutritious can make you feel anxious. 
      Naming your fears allows you to pause before they get the best of you. Additionally, seek therapy to work through mindsets holding you back. When you feel triggered to start a new self-care practice, consider this: Will it feel good or stressful to incorporate this into your routine? Does the idea of dry brushing your entire body every single morning give you hives or get you excited to assess the results? A little nervousness when trying something new is normal. However, if maintaining a budding practice has become a stressful ordeal, you might be doing it out of fear rather than care. Either reframe your relationship to the practice or reexamine if it should be in your routine at all.

      Reconnect to your “why”
      Your “why” is the opposite of fear–it’s what lights you up! If you are invested in self-care, it’s likely because it feeds something in you that makes you feel good. Maybe the endorphins from your exercise routine make you feel unstoppable, or the after-glow from your evening ritual makes you feel pampered AF. This is what self-care is all about. Connecting to what drives you can reinvigorate your relationship with self-care.
      For example, the reason I want to exercise is to feel strong and powerful. Whenever exercise feels stale for me, I connect to my “why,” and it completely renews my energy. When I connect to the affirmation “I am getting stronger” throughout my workout, it’s less of a burden and more invigorating. The aftermath of the workout is also more enriching because I’m focused on how good it feels instead of checking a chore off of a list.
      Reconnecting to your “why” is also a great tool to reach for if you notice your fears are starting to run the show. Your “why” will connect you to your values. This might expose some of your fears as nonessential. For example, maybe you’re being told the skin cream you love isn’t as effective as a trendy new face oil, and it’s triggering a fear that you’re behind the curve. Is having the most effective solution what’s really important to you? Or is “effective enough” OK? If the skin cream you already have makes you feel radiant, smells amazing, and elicits all the relaxing vibes, isn’t that the goal? You don’t have to chase the trends or latest products if what you’re already doing meets your needs for self-care.

      Eliminate the phrase “I should” 
      When push comes to shove, “should” is a shaming word. When you are connected to your “why,” self-care comes from I want to, not I should. So if you’ve tried all the steps above and still find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your desire to keep up, hunt for the places you tell yourself, “I should.” I’m going to say something radical: When it comes to self-care, you aren’t obligated to do anything. Self-care means making time and energy to care for yourself, and that’s it! When we talk about self-care in today’s world, we have this image that it’s about bubble baths and gym memberships. But self-care can literally look like anything: a nap, a glass of wine with friends, skipping the gym for an hour of TV because you need it more, or going to therapy.
      If there’s something that you know could be “good for you,” but you just don’t want to do it, that’s OK. Feeling pressured to do something defeats the whole purpose of self-care. So next time you hear yourself utter an “I should” about your wellness routine, try swapping it with “I want to.” If that doesn’t feel right, then guess what? You might not want to, and that’s OK! Our desires—and our capacity to carry them out—ebbs and flows throughout our lives. Something that feels hard now might feel rejuvenating later. In the meantime, there are other self-care methods that will strike your fancy. Find what speaks to you, and I give you full permission to drop the rest.

      Make your own definition of self-care
      Ultimately, you are in charge of what self-care means to you. (That’s where the “self” part comes from!) It can be tempting to try keeping up with the trends, but the constant seeking and second-guessing can drag you down. It’s up to you to advocate for your own relationship to care. What feels good for you isn’t going to light everyone else up, and vice-versa. We are so lucky to be living in an era where self-care is applauded and encouraged.
      With an abundance of resources and suggestions at our disposal, it’s up to us to decipher which practices will have the most impact on our minds, spirits, and bodies. And most importantly, you do not have to try them all. When you trust your gut, make friends with your fears, and lean into your “why,” your self-care routine will care for, recharge, and energize you.

      This article discusses obsessive thoughts, but it is not meant to treat or diagnose. Please take care of yourself if these topics could be triggering, and always seek professional help if you are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered thoughts or behaviors.
      Call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 for support, reach out to a qualified medical professional, or, for a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.

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