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      8 Ways To Treat Yourself During the Busiest (and Gloomiest) Time of Year

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      You’re booked and busy, you’re freezing, and you don’t want to get out of your flare leggings? It must be the end of the year. Let me guess: You know exactly what you have to do and where you have to be for the next few months between end-of-year projects and holiday events, but you have hardly taken any time at all to think about what you are going to need to power through the season? We are right there with you. So before the year passes us by, we are thinking about how we can take time for ourselves among the chaos, and we are sharing them with you here. Ahead, 10 ways that you can treat yourself during the busiest (and gloomiest) time of year.

      1. Get a new pair of cozy slippers
      Our slippers get a lot more attention than any of our other shoes during this time of year, so buying a new pair of comfortable, high-quality slippers should be first on your treat-yourself list. SeaVees’ SeaChange Slippers are our go-to slippers because they are extra comfy due to their recycled fleece, and they have a long-lasting natural rubber outsole—meaning you can wear them inside your home and out without fear of ruining them. Plus you can feel good about buying them because every pair sold from this collection gives back $1 to SeaTrees, a non-profit that works to restore blue carbon coastal ecosystems and ocean health globally. Win-win!

      SeaChange Slippers
      These slippers are an editor-favorite for a reason. With an extra comfy, recycled fleece footbed for comfort and a long-lasting rubber outsole, these slippers are perfect for inside of your home and out.
      Use code EVERYGIRL for 20% off of your first purchase at SeaVees + enter our giveaway HERE to enter to win two pairs of SeaVees shoes of your choice, free!

      2. Book a spa treatment
      The business of the season distracts us from the self-care time we really need, but the best way to make sure you have it is by booking a treatment into your calendar. Block off your schedule for a few hours (or the whole day if you can manage it), and treat yourself to a massage, brow tint, facial, lash refill, you name it. You will come out of your appointment feeling relaxed and refreshed which is exactly what the doctor orders this time of year.

      3. Get a blowout
      Between Q4 deadlines and holiday events, who has the time to wash and blowout their own hair? Not us. Give your stylists a call and book a blowout for the busiest week on your calendar so you don’t have to worry about styling your hair yourself. This will serve as a time-saver for at least 4-5 days, and it will force you to sit in the salon chair and relax for an hour.

      4. Refresh your space
      We spend a lot of time in our homes this season—whether it’s because we are forced to stay in from a snowstorm or because we are so busy that we barely look up from our WFH space. If you’re going to be spending so much time at home, it’s a good time to refresh your space. Here are some ideas: rearrange your furniture, switch out your art prints, buy a new shower curtain, or pick out new cozy bedding.

      5. Use your PTO
      I know what you’re thinking, but yes, you DO have the time to take the day off even during the busiest time of the year. And you better use your PTO before you lose it come January 1! Look at your schedule and pick a day to either do absolutely nothing at all or spend it checking off the things that have been on your to-do list for weeks.

      6. Take a bubble bath
      In the summer, most of us don’t want to be bothered with a hot bath, but when it’s cold and grey outside, nothing sounds more relaxing than running a bath, lighting a seasonal candle, and most importantly, putting our phones on Do Not Disturb. Order a luxurious bath soak, put “Bubble Bath” into your calendar as a scheduled solo date, and take in the mind and body benefits. You will feel refreshed in no time.

      7. Try a new workout class
      Have you been eying up the new pilates studio on your block? Is there a class style at your gym that you’ve been wanting to try? Now is the time. Reserve a spot in class to switch up your routine. Not only will you benefit from the endorphins, but you might find your new favorite workout style or meet some new people. Pro tip: If going to a new class makes you nervous, treat yourself to a new matching set for motivation and a confidence boost.

      8. Take care of your skin
      I don’t know about you, but my skin takes an absolute beating in the winter months. Due to the lower level of moisture in the air, my hands crack and itch, and my face is under the impression that it needs to produce even more oil to hydrate itself, leading to breakouts. If you experience skincare woes in the winter too, set time aside to pay extra attention to your skin. This could mean researching new products, not rushing through your skincare routine, or checking in with your dermatologist.

      Sleep-Care Is the New Self-Care: Here’s How You Should Upgrade Your Routine

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of SeaVees, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      8 Products That Will Help You Romanticize Your Life This Fall

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      While I could go on about the benefits of fall (the fashion, Gilmore Girls reruns, PSLs, and of course, Halloween), it also has its downsides. With less sunlight and colder weather, fall can be the start of seasonal depression, and many of us may feel a little down or just plain blah. One way to help boost your mood? Romanticize your life. 
      Romanticizing your life is the act of finding joy in the mundane, day-to-day life. It’s easy to get stuck in a routine that just involves moving from one activity to the next, but romanticizing your life allows you to slow down and find joy in the little things. Whether it’s spicing up your wellness routine, investing in your personal development, or changing your evening wind-down, the options for romanticizing your life are unlimited. To help you get started, I’ve put together a list of products to help you romanticize your life for fall.

      Sunrise Alarm Clock
      Do you know what’s not romantic? Your alarm clock. I spent years waking up to the repetitive sound of my phone alarm before investing in a sunrise alarm clock, which was a total game-changer. I fully believe that how you start your day can impact the rest of it. Having a morning routine that begins with the sunrise alarm clock not only sets the tone for my day, it also means I don’t look at my phone first thing in the morning. Instead, I journal and meditate before getting ready for the day.

      Silk Pajamas
      Yes, you can even romanticize your sleep routine. Splurging on a pair of silk pajamas will not only get you one step closer to feeling like a Kardashian, but it will also help you look forward to something as mundane as a nightly routine. I can vouch that switching out a pair of sweatpants and an old T-shirt for these PJs has definitely elevated my sleep game. There’s nothing more luxurious than walking around your home in something that feels as elegant as you are. As a bonus, they’re machine-washable. Available in five colors.

      Mala the Brand
      Pumpkin Latte Candle
      One of the best ways to romanticize your life during the change in seasons is to switch up your home environment, and you don’t have to break the bank to do it. Making small changes, such as adding a fall-scented candle, is a great way to refresh your home. This eco-friendly pumpkin latte one from Mala the Brand is not only seasonally on brand, but also made from coconut-soy wax and phthalate and paraben-free fragrance and essential oils. Can’t you just picture lighting this candle and sitting down with a good read?

      Monika Hibbs
      Gather at Home: Over 100 Simple Recipes, DIYs, and Inspiration for a Year of Occasions
      This coffee table book gives you a little bit of everything. “Gather at Home” is a collection of recipes and DIY crafts categorized seasonally. From making pumpkin cashew coffee creamer to Thanksgiving dinner thankful cards and pumpkin spice blend, this book has the best mix of fall DIYs. It’s the must-have guidebook for romanticizing any meal or special occasion this fall.

      Superhuman
      Guided Meditation App
      As a breathwork facilitator, I believe there’s no better way to romanticize your life than  switching up your meditation routine. I recently started using the Superhuman App, a guided meditation app, and have been blown away by the benefits. It offers a wide array of meditations you can do anytime: while getting ready in the morning for work, going for a walk, or doing the laundry. Every meditation I’ve done resets my mind and helps me look at my environment in a more positive light. To give you another reason to try out the app, they have a meditation called “Romanticize Your Life.”

      dōTERRA®
      Essential Oils
      Essential oils can have a major impact on your living space and your body. Add a few drops of your favorite essential oil to a diffuser and instantly refresh your environment. Each oil has different properties that can affect your body in different ways. For example, lavender is known to be a calming oil that can soothe the skin and aid in restful sleep. Doterra carries so many naturally-sourced oils to choose from, each with its own benefits. Some of my favorites for the fall season include frankincense, which has a warm and spicy aroma that reminds me of fall, and vetiver, which has relaxing properties and makes a great addition to a warm bath. Choose from over 30+ oils.

      Anthropologie
      Pumpkin Mug
      Part of romanticizing your life means treating yourself because you deserve it! Adding a new fall mug to your morning coffee routine is just the ticket to get you excited to wake up and start your day. Because, what’s fall without the pumpkin-spiced latte? And this pumpkin-shaped mug from Anthropologie will be your new favorite go-to for the season. After all, romanticizing your life is about adding joy to your daily routine.

      Bath Salts
      I don’t think there’s a better way to romanticize your life than a warm bath at the end of a long day. Take it up a notch and upgrade your standard bath ritual, starting with these bath salts from Maude. Made with calming salt crystals from the Dead Sea, you’ll immediately feel the detoxifying and relaxing benefits. Soak while listening to music, reading, or sipping on your favorite fall beverage. Available in three different scents. 

      This article is meant to serve as inspiration for boosting mood, not as treatment for seasonal affective disorder, anxiety, or depression. If you think you may be experiencing mental health symptoms, it’s important to reach out and get help. See your doctor, get in contact with a therapist, and/or talk to a close friend or family member.

      Can’t Live Without PSLs? Here’s How Experts Make Them Super Healthy More

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      We All Have a Little Witch In Us—These Wellness Rituals Will Help Bring Out Yours

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      No doubt about it–fall is magical. The leaves change into all sorts of vibrant hues, the scent of cinnamon is everywhere you go, and the chill in the air bites in a way that almost feels personal. It’s a season that feels so alive, so it’s no wonder that fall is directly tied to mysticism. So much so that one of the key images of the season is a witch (Hocus Pocus, anyone?). Of course, with that title also comes dated stereotypes of what it means to be a witch: flying broomsticks, evil cauldrons, and a desire to eat children. But the true definition of a witch isn’t so easy to nail down.
      Historically, witches, or people accused of being witches, have come in many different forms, but most of them were women, and they were far from monstrous. Rather, they were masters of wellness, specializing in herbalism, midwifery, and other healing practices. Modern women are turning these rituals more mainstream, finding deep connection to the earth and nature, and leaning into practices that enhance their quality of life. So if you really think about it, embodying your inner witch is in itself a wellness practice. Read on for some wellness rituals that witches throughout the ages have used and loved that will help amplify your health for fall and beyond.

      1. Be more intentional with essential oils
      Scent is known to trigger both emotion and memory, so you can use scent to enhance your sense of self and impact the way you relate to the world around you. Instead of just the typical diffusing lavender oil to relax or sniffing peppermint oil for energy, DIY your own potions (see what I did there?) so you can tap into the kind of energy and emotion you associate with that scent at any time. Sniff or diffuse a wide range of essential oils (eucalyptus, lemon, etc.) and either see how the scent makes you feel or you can associate an affirmation to the smell.
      To take it a step further, blend your own concoction by starting with a base like jojoba or extra virgin olive oil, and pour into a small vial with a roller ball for easier application. Add a few drops of the essential oil of your choice to the base (essential oil alone might be irritating for the skin, which is why you combine with another oil to dilute) to rub onto temples, wrists, or other pressure points when needed. Top off the vial with some flower petals or fresh herbs to enhance the smell while beautifying the blend. As with all rituals, remember that setting an intention for the practice will amplify its effects. Assign a word (like bravery, compassion, or confidence) to your potion and apply the oil to your skin whenever you need to be reminded of that intention. 

      2. Update your bath routine
      Baths have been important for both hygiene and ritual for centuries. Water has often been used not only to cleanse the body, but also your mind and energy. And when you’re intentional about supplementing your bath water with herbs, flowers, or crystals, you can amplify its healing properties. Forget boring bubble bath–there are countless combinations you can create when devising your bath ritual. I like basil or eucalyptus plants to relax muscles, lavender or chamomile to relax the mind, rose petals and basil for skin glow, or crystals like Rose quartz and Amethyst to clear out anxious energy and invite peace into your space. 
      I believe that if you’re drawn to a particular plant or crystal, your intuition is guiding you to use it for your benefit. But if you’re a researcher like me, feel free to hit the books (like here or here) for all the healing properties that plants and stones have to offer. Go wild and apply whatever calls to you. Once again, bath rituals are sealed by the intentions you set for them, so think about what you’re cleansing, renewing, healing, or inviting in.

      3. Light some incense to reset energy in your space
      Many different cultures throughout history have burned herbs and incense as a way to clear stale energy from a space to make it feel vibrant and fresh. With the rise in palo santo and sage becoming more mainstream, it’s important to honor and remember where they come from, so do your research and honor the ritual. For incense, Frankincense and Myrrh are two options that have withstood the test of time and are still known for their healing properties. When it comes to lighting herbs and incense, do your research and find a type that calls to you to clear out space in. your home. 
      And remember, intention has to be at the core of any ritual. If it’s not, the practice is just fluff. Set the intention to clear stuck energy and invite fresh, loving vibes into your home. As the scent lingers, visualize the space being utilized in a way that feels good to you. This is a great ritual to do consistently, especially when you’re using your space as a work-from-home set-up. This ritual can help you meet specific goals at work, or ease out of work mode into relaxation. 

      4. Future journal to become the person you want to be
      You didn’t think I’d write a witchy post without at least one nod to spell-casting, did you? Journaling is a powerful way to cast daily “spells” because you are quite literally alchemizing your thoughts into tangible words on a page. Journaling in itself is a little bit magical. When you journal your intentions for how you want to feel, what you want to be doing, or how you want to be acting in the future, you’re better able to visualize yourself in that future role. This makes it easier to embody yourself in that role now, which is one of the fastest ways to manifest the life you want.
      So go ahead and write about the higher version of yourself. Then focus on all the elements I just laid out: how you want to feel, how you want to act, and what you’d like to be doing in the future. Take a few moments to embody who it is you’ve just written about, and notice how your energy shifts. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

      5. Choose a single-word affirmation for each day
      If journaling feels like too lengthy an endeavor, another quick alchemizing trick is to choose a word or phrase that you want to embody on any given day. For example, if you have a big meeting you’re a little nervous about, “capable” might be your word of choice. Visualize yourself completely personifying this word and feel free to write it down somewhere that will be visible to you all day long, like on a post-it note by your desk. It can be just as powerful to embody a single word as it is to envision an entire future for yourself, so long as you set the intention to make it stick.

      6. Connect with nature on a regular basis
      Science has proven that electrons on the earth’s surface can transfer energy from the ground to our bodies, calming our nervous systems. We know that nature is healing. But guess what? Cultures, tribes, and world religions have known that for thousands of years (including witches). Anyone with a keen sensitivity to shifting energy will argue that the effects of this particular ritual are undeniable. Try earthing or grounding, which involves walking barefoot outside, or forest bathing, which means being in nature (a trail, forest, park, etc.) to reap more benefits.
      Take a moment to feel your bare feet on the ground in whatever way feels comfortable. Visualize any energy that does not serve you being pulled into the ground, feel gratitude for the oxygen that trees and plants supply, and check in with yourself if there are any insights that come up for you. You might be surprised what comes through. This is an especially good ritual for those of us with busy minds because it encourages us to slow down and reconnect to our inner voice of wisdom. Trust me when I say, your nervous system will thank you.

      How Make the Most of Cozy Girl Fall More

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      How I Finally Achieved Radical Self-Love, and You Can Too

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      Apologies in advance, but I’m going to start things off on a cynical note. I’ve always been suspicious of self-love as a concept—not just because it’s felt elusive for most of my life, but more so as a result of the role it’s taken on in our wellness-obsessed culture. With guided journals, aestheticized card decks, and beauty bundles marketed as tools for self-love, we’ve reached an oversaturation of self-love monetization.
      I’m not surprised. It’s the fate for just about every wellness buzzword out there. For me, to actually experience the confidence, acceptance, and self-actualization that self-love promises, it took stepping away from the glitz and glam of the internet’s interpretation. I had to actually understand what self-love looked like and meant for me. 
      I believe self-love ebbs and flows. It’s a deeply personal exploration of learning to appreciate all that you bring into the world. I’m sharing the steps I took to go from a woman prone to self-critique to a woman who leans into radical self-love every day. This is how I made my new reality. And it’s a reminder that you have the ability, strength, and power to do exactly the same.

      Remember that self-love isn’t a destination
      Spoiler: Self-love isn’t miraculously waking up one day to discover that all the conflicts and struggles in your life have magically sorted themselves out. Experiencing self-love doesn’t take the right workout, the perfect relationship, a rigid diet, or devoted meditation practice. For me to experience self-love, I had to embrace the epiphany that I can practice right now. Self-love isn’t conditional. Everything in our lives doesn’t have to be perfectly sorted out to get there. (Newsflash: Life is, and will forever be, messy.)
      As someone in recovery from an eating disorder, I’m familiar with the culture-driven belief that my body had to look a certain way before I could love it. But in treatment, I was challenged to change my language from critical to accepting. Suddenly, the arms I had thought were too big became the strong, loving vehicles that allowed me to wrap my nearest and dearest in a hug. And the weight I had gained around my tummy transformed into a protective, comforting shelter. Radical self-love takes a shift in perspective and choosing to show up each day with this curiosity, appreciation, and commitment to your whole self.

      Identify and stand up for your needs
      Radical self-love stems from concrete, intentional actions that support all areas of your well-being, happiness, and growth. Self-love requires a certain level of self-respect. And to achieve self-respect, we have to be mindful of the boundaries we set with others. Last week, I was chatting with my therapist about a relationship that was troubling me. I loved and cared for this person, but the effort and energy I put in left me feeling drained. She shared a revelatory phrase that I’ve since posted on my desk: “I can’t help them if it’s hurting me.”
      As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to put others’ needs first—always. But a crucial part of self-love is believing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. Trust in your inherent worth and never sacrifice your well-being. While the nuances of our personal definitions of self-respect vary, this framework is important for shaping our relationship with ourselves. Spend time reflecting on what needs and boundaries look like for you. What practices, rituals, and routines will help you experience self-love each day? Write those down and take action to follow through.

      Bring more of your qualities into the world
      I was at dinner a few nights ago, and toward the end of the evening, we broke out a conversation card deck. It asked us to name a quality we want to bring more of into the world. I thought for a moment and realized that I’d been hiding my penchant for silliness and humor for too long. It took asking myself that question to truly realize that I’d been letting this part of myself lie dormant. I love to laugh, and there’s little else that brings me more joy than to see someone crack a smile because of something I said. 
      Unfortunately, up until this point, I had been harboring a long-held belief that I was supposed to be quiet, serious, and reserved to be taken seriously. But self-love told me to meet myself exactly where I was, exactly as I am. So ask yourself: Is there a truth about yourself that you’re keeping hidden to please others? Reflect on the ease and freedom you would feel to experience every day as your most authentic self. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

      Be open to the new realizations that come with self-love
      Stepping into self-love comes with a healthy dose of vulnerability and the courage to be wholly, authentically you. That will likely bring a lot of changes into your life. While we might default to resisting the discomfort of change, let it flow through you. It can be hard to shift the way you’ve always done things, but allowing these new rhythms into your life can help you experience more self-love each day.
      I track these changes in my journal and take note of when I’m tempted to resist this growth. Also, my partner is my accountability buddy when I’m tempted to choose critique if self-love feels like a challenge. It can be hard to slip into my workout gear when I’m having a bad body image day. But sharing how aligned and connected my body and mind feel post-workout helps me keep this habit. And when I’m not hungry but know that I need a nutrient-dense dinner, journaling about this conflict has helped me view cooking as a nourishing, loving act.

      Commit to the practice of self-love
      Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It isn’t something that we can wait to start practicing when our lives are perfect. The best time to begin your self-love journey is today. Right now. So let these tips guide your way. Some days may be easier than others, but know that you’re always on the path of growing into a more loving and forgiving version of yourself. Self-love is a commitment. It’s something you can return to anytime you feel you’ve forgotten these tips. So start today, and embrace the inevitable twists and turns toward a kinder, gentler state of inner peace.

      Your Self-Care Routine Might Be Damaging
      Here’s why. More

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      Is There Such a Thing As “Too Much” Self-Care? It’s Time We Reevaluate How To Care for Ourselves

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      We are in the self-care era. The concept is so popular and widely embraced that it seems everyone is doing face masks and daily breathwork. But with so many voices applauding new rituals and practices in the name of wellbeing, it can feel a little overwhelming to keep up with it all. And that sensation of feeling overwhelmed begs the question: Is all of this actually making us healthier and happier?
      When scrolling through #wellness TikToks or my Instagram feed, I’m often reminded of how easy it is to get so obsessive about eating “clean” that it actually becomes stressful. The irony, of course, is that stress is bad for us too–including over-stressing about food. So, where else in our wellness routines do we care so much about hitting the mark that we inexplicably miss it? As it turns out, a lot of places. We can be so rigid with being “healthy” that it becomes unhealthy. So, could the same be true with our culture’s self-care obsession? 
      Before we dive in, you should know that I am pro-wellness. Like big time, it-saved-my-life kinda stuff. But as with all passions, there’s a tipping point. I believe we should all have self-care routines. I believe our bodies deserve (and need!) time, energy, and resources to help them feel their best. But sometimes, we become so mindless with our habits—and get so involved in the latest trends—that the practices meant to help us become harmful. Here’s how to know if your self-care routine is truly caring for you and tips to reevaluate your self-care practices now.

      When self-care becomes damaging
      The wellness industry means well. However, in the name of making money, it can play a little too much into our fears. It can make us feel like we’re not doing, paying, or being enough. Like, “Hey, are you zen enough? Are you going to wrinkle quicker than you should? Are your insides quietly decomposing before their time? Good news! There’s a skin cream, green powder, or alt-therapy for that!”
      It’s like there are two different versions of caring for yourself. First, there are self-care practices you do because you love yourself and know you deserve rest, care, and joy. These practices support a healthy relationship with self-care. They help us feel good, and they don’t suffocate the rest of our lives. Then, there are self-care practices you do because you don’t feel good enough as you already are. This can become a stressful obsession with the impossible pursuit to make your body and mind forever flawless.
      I’ve experienced both forms, and if you’re into wellness like I am, you probably have, too. Thankfully, I’ve learned a few things about identifying self-care practices and whether or not they’re genuinely caring for you. So, read on for some key tips to reevaluate your self-care routine and make sure it’s actually caring for you.

      Tips to Reevaluate Your Self-Care Routine
       
      Get honest with yourself
      Before you can even begin to protect yourself against accidental self-sabotage, you need to have “the talk.” What kind of relationship do you currently have with self-care? Is it flirtatious and fun? Committed and energizing? Or does it talk down to you and make you feel small? Do you feel pressure to keep it up? Does it feel like a chore? If you feel uncomfortable in your relationship with self-care, you can repair it. Awareness is one of the greatest powers at your disposal. Simply acknowledging where you’re at can give you the power to shift course.

      Name your fears
      Whether or not you have a healthy relationship with self-care, you undoubtedly have some wellness-related fears. For instance, I sometimes fear that I’m accidentally doing something bad for me that I think is good for me—like a health supplement that is actually filled with toxins. Other fears might include that you’re aging too fast, falling behind with your health, or that you have to strive for perfection. Maybe you even have some internalized fatphobia or orthorexic behavior where food that’s not considered nutritious can make you feel anxious. 
      Naming your fears allows you to pause before they get the best of you. Additionally, seek therapy to work through mindsets holding you back. When you feel triggered to start a new self-care practice, consider this: Will it feel good or stressful to incorporate this into your routine? Does the idea of dry brushing your entire body every single morning give you hives or get you excited to assess the results? A little nervousness when trying something new is normal. However, if maintaining a budding practice has become a stressful ordeal, you might be doing it out of fear rather than care. Either reframe your relationship to the practice or reexamine if it should be in your routine at all.

      Reconnect to your “why”
      Your “why” is the opposite of fear–it’s what lights you up! If you are invested in self-care, it’s likely because it feeds something in you that makes you feel good. Maybe the endorphins from your exercise routine make you feel unstoppable, or the after-glow from your evening ritual makes you feel pampered AF. This is what self-care is all about. Connecting to what drives you can reinvigorate your relationship with self-care.
      For example, the reason I want to exercise is to feel strong and powerful. Whenever exercise feels stale for me, I connect to my “why,” and it completely renews my energy. When I connect to the affirmation “I am getting stronger” throughout my workout, it’s less of a burden and more invigorating. The aftermath of the workout is also more enriching because I’m focused on how good it feels instead of checking a chore off of a list.
      Reconnecting to your “why” is also a great tool to reach for if you notice your fears are starting to run the show. Your “why” will connect you to your values. This might expose some of your fears as nonessential. For example, maybe you’re being told the skin cream you love isn’t as effective as a trendy new face oil, and it’s triggering a fear that you’re behind the curve. Is having the most effective solution what’s really important to you? Or is “effective enough” OK? If the skin cream you already have makes you feel radiant, smells amazing, and elicits all the relaxing vibes, isn’t that the goal? You don’t have to chase the trends or latest products if what you’re already doing meets your needs for self-care.

      Eliminate the phrase “I should” 
      When push comes to shove, “should” is a shaming word. When you are connected to your “why,” self-care comes from I want to, not I should. So if you’ve tried all the steps above and still find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your desire to keep up, hunt for the places you tell yourself, “I should.” I’m going to say something radical: When it comes to self-care, you aren’t obligated to do anything. Self-care means making time and energy to care for yourself, and that’s it! When we talk about self-care in today’s world, we have this image that it’s about bubble baths and gym memberships. But self-care can literally look like anything: a nap, a glass of wine with friends, skipping the gym for an hour of TV because you need it more, or going to therapy.
      If there’s something that you know could be “good for you,” but you just don’t want to do it, that’s OK. Feeling pressured to do something defeats the whole purpose of self-care. So next time you hear yourself utter an “I should” about your wellness routine, try swapping it with “I want to.” If that doesn’t feel right, then guess what? You might not want to, and that’s OK! Our desires—and our capacity to carry them out—ebbs and flows throughout our lives. Something that feels hard now might feel rejuvenating later. In the meantime, there are other self-care methods that will strike your fancy. Find what speaks to you, and I give you full permission to drop the rest.

      Make your own definition of self-care
      Ultimately, you are in charge of what self-care means to you. (That’s where the “self” part comes from!) It can be tempting to try keeping up with the trends, but the constant seeking and second-guessing can drag you down. It’s up to you to advocate for your own relationship to care. What feels good for you isn’t going to light everyone else up, and vice-versa. We are so lucky to be living in an era where self-care is applauded and encouraged.
      With an abundance of resources and suggestions at our disposal, it’s up to us to decipher which practices will have the most impact on our minds, spirits, and bodies. And most importantly, you do not have to try them all. When you trust your gut, make friends with your fears, and lean into your “why,” your self-care routine will care for, recharge, and energize you.

      This article discusses obsessive thoughts, but it is not meant to treat or diagnose. Please take care of yourself if these topics could be triggering, and always seek professional help if you are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered thoughts or behaviors.
      Call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 for support, reach out to a qualified medical professional, or, for a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.

      How To Make Time for Self-Care When Your Life Is a Hot Mess More

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      How To Make Time for Self-Care When Your Life Is a Hot Mess

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      We know we’re supposed to make time for journaling, meal planning, shopping at the local farmer’s market, reading books, taking baths, or falling asleep to binaural beats. Whatever your choose-your-own-adventure form of self-care looks like, it contributes to your well-being, regulates your nervous system, and ultimately feeds your sense of “flow.”
      But the truth is that–despite what the internet might lead you to believe–most people do not live perfectly manicured, carefree lives laden with self-care rituals. If fitting in any amount of self-care feels more like a fantasy, it’s likely because life is always sprinkling in some less desirable variables (think: a health scare, the loss of a loved one, getting side-swiped on the way to work, a messy kitchen, feeling behind on a project). And sometimes, these moments overlap, sending you into a spiral of overwhelm so lovingly deemed “the hot mess.” 
      Seasons like these are part of life. It’s OK to feel their full weight, and it can be helpful to know that they, too, shall pass. No matter how hard we try to maintain order, sometimes we are swept away by life’s chaos. Unfortunately, this is when all forms of self-care tend to get tossed out the window, which is ironic because it’s also the key to our sanity. So how do you keep it together when everything is falling apart? How can you commit to self-care when it feels like you’re living in a literal dumpster fire? I’ve been writing about and practicing self-care for almost a decade, so I’ve managed to pick up a few strategies to keep my head above water. If you’re basking in a thousand little fires, I hope these tips can help to cool the temperature a few degrees.

      1. Embrace the mess
      Easier said than done, but sometimes our resistance to the chaos is part of the problem. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect, and it’s certainly not your fault when it isn’t. Allowing yourself to accept that things might feel a little messy for a while is an act of self-care in itself. When I give my life permission to be hard, my nervous system calms down because I’m no longer trying to activate fight-or-flight mode. When I allow challenges to appear in my life, I am more prepared to handle them. By the way, giving life permission to be hard is not the same as expecting the worst—that’s a recipe for anxiety. The nuance here is acceptance versus anticipation. Things are allowed to feel challenging, but that doesn’t mean they always are.

      2. Give yourself grace
      OK, so you’ve dropped every self-care routine you’ve ever known. Or maybe you’ve never been able to stick to the healthy habits you crave. First of all, welcome to the club. You are not alone. It might not seem like it because people don’t tend to wear their burnout on their sleeves, but I assure you, you are in very good company. Secondly, know that you are not failing at self-care. You’re surviving. That’s a feat in itself. When I start to feel the words “failure” form on my lips, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am a sole person with a finite amount of resources. I forgive myself for feeling like I’m not doing enough. Forward momentum is forward momentum, even at a snail’s pace. And every day offers a new opportunity to try again.

      3. Reframe time as a commodity that you own
      A commodity is something you can own, barter, buy, and sell. I really want that to sink in. The reason why things feel extra hard sometimes and easier other times almost always comes down to time. A balanced life is all about having the time to do what you need to do as well as what you love to do. When time is limited, we tend to drop what we love for the sake of what’s necessary. But when we recognize that our time is ours—and that we have agency over how to use it—that can empower us to incorporate a little more self-care into the mix.

      4. Tally up the time you have
      Once you take ownership of your time, take inventory of how much of it you actually have. This will let you know what’s reasonable for incorporating self-care. For example, I am a mom to a tiny toddler. She has a knack for getting into trouble whenever my back is turned, so I can’t count on overextending myself while she’s around. This means I have one hour while she’s napping, two hours in the morning while my husband is on duty, and maybe two hours after she’s asleep at night to do anything of value. That’s five hours each day. When I look at it from a bird’s eye view, carving out 10-30 minutes a day for a self-care ritual doesn’t feel so absurd.

      5. Prioritize the mess
      Now that you know how many hours you own in a day consider prioritizing which fires to put out. Some of them might not be burning as brightly as you think. For example, in my house, I have a couple of smart ceiling fans that are desperate for tech support. The Bluetooth controls keep over-communicating with each other, so when I’m trying to turn the light on in my bedroom at night, the ceiling fan in my baby’s room lights up, too—while she’s sleeping! But you know what? This is a “next week” problem. Figure out what your next week’s problems are. This is important because if you don’t, every single minor issue that falls from the sky is going to take precedence over your mental health. If you’re going to make time for self-care, you need to send some of your fires to the future.

      6. Pick your most potent form of self-care
      When you are low on time, you obviously can’t dedicate a full day to all of the self-care rituals you love. So it’s time to take into account the practices that pack the biggest punch in the shortest amount of time. This will look different for everyone. For my husband, it’s a 30-minute power nap. For me, it’s a 15-minute meditation. For you, it might be a bath, facial, or walk around the block. It doesn’t matter what you choose, so long as you choose something. If you’re not sure which practices deliver results, try a few! Rotate through some of your favorites and notice whether they speak to you or not. You might surprise yourself with how good you feel after doing something as simple as a five-minute gua sha routine.

      7. Block time in your calendar for self-care
      I’m sure you saw this coming, but it’s cliché for a reason, folks. If it’s not on some kind of to-do list, it’s probably not going to get done. If you’d rather add your self-care practice to your actual to-do list, that’s not a bad idea either. But if you use a calendar regularly, seeing time blocked off for just you will remind you how important it is and ensure it happens. And if you have a shared calendar, it can remind others that this is a non-negotiable time for you.

      8. When you do self-care, feel it
      When life is operating in hot-mess mode, it’s so easy to rush through each day in survival mode. You might be checking boxes off the list as fast as you can just so you can get to the next problem that needs to be solved. This mad-dash mentality might be so automatic that it doesn’t slow down, even when you do make time for self-care. You might be doing the ritual just to get it done. You’re going to have to make it a point to stop that.
      As soon as you engage with whatever form of self-care you’ve chosen, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Notice how it feels. For example, if all you have time to incorporate is a shower, don’t spend it thinking about what you have to do next. Instead, notice how the water feels on your back. You are granting yourself this time, so be present with it. Soak it in and revel in it.

      9. Be kind to yourself when you skip self-care
      Look, sometimes the other stuff gets loud. You had every intention of meditating, but your stove just short-circuited, and your “you” time has turned into being on the phone with your landlord. That’s not your fault, so go easy on yourself. The same theory applies when you just don’t feel like doing it. You know it’s going to feel good to make yourself that smoothie, but you don’t have the energy to dump everything in the blender and hit the button. No judgment—I’ve been there. Look at it this way: If you’re making a choice to rest, guess what? That’s self-care too. Boom.

      10. Sprinkle gratitude into your day
      Speaking of quick-hitting practices with big impact, have you heard of gratitude? Of course, you have. But did you know that focusing on how thankful you are for just 30 seconds has the power to permanently rewire your brain? It does! Do you know what that means? If you’re going through a phase where you legit have zero energy for any self-care, gratitude can take its place. Gratitude as a feeling has a near instant effect on your nervous system. It centers, grounds, and connects you to what really matters: your values. 
      Allow yourself to feel grateful for the tiny moments in your day that light you up: the barista complimenting your bangs, a stranger holding open a door, or the simple beauty of a late-summer sunset. This can give you enough of a recharge to make it through the rest of your day unscathed.

      11. At the end of the day, trust in yourself 
      When you’re underwater, it’s hard to see the horizon. But I promise you: Nothing lasts forever. Life will get quiet again. You will get more time back. And in the meantime, you’ll get through this. Do you know what I tell myself at the end of every day? “You’re doing it.” Because while that mail has been sitting in its sad stack for days, I’ve been doing literally everything else to make sure the bills are paid, mouths are fed, work gets done, friendships are kept, and fires stay out. I’m doing it. You are too. With or without self-care, you’re doing it. Allow yourself to be proud of that, period. And when you’re ready to invite more feel-good practices into your life, trust that you will.

      How To Update Your Wellness Routine for Fall More

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      10 Little Luxuries That’ll Elevate Any Average Weekday

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      I’ve recently seen quite a few videos on TikTok sharing small things you can add to your life every day to really elevate your day-to-day experience, and I absolutely love the idea of treating yourself to little luxuries. Let’s face it: Life can get pretty mundane sometimes as we work our 9-5 and try to keep things interesting. So, adding in small things every day that feels like a special treat is a great way to elevate an average weekday.
      Obviously, you can mix up your weekdays by doing fun activities and just getting out of the house, but there’s no denying that there are some products that can really elevate your everyday environment. Life is short after all, so we shouldn’t feel guilty treating ourselves to those little luxuries that make us happy. From ultra-comfy pajamas to beauty products that will transport you to a high-end spa, these are the items that make every day a little bit more luxurious. 

      Equilibria
      Nourishing Body Oil
      At least once per week, I take THE shower. You know the one—exfoliate, shave, hair mask, and every other beauty treatment I can squeeze in. After this revitalizing shower, I do one of my absolute favorite self-care rituals: use my Equilibria Nourishing Body Oil with a body gua sha. Not only does the CBD provide the ultimate calming experience, the oil nourishes my skin and keeps it hydrated while the body gua sha improves my circulation and helps with lymphatic drainage. My skin has never felt better and smoother than after I treat myself to this little luxury.
      Use code theeverygirl for 20% off of your first order at Equilibria!

      Moonlight Eco Short Pajamas
      A more affordable option when it comes to high-end pajamas, this short set comes in more than 10 adorable colors and patterns. This set is buttery soft, so trust us: Once you start living the luxury pajama life, you’ll never go back.

      St. Barts Cleansing Scalp & Body Sugar Scrub
      With hundreds of rave reviews, you can add this product to your self-care arsenal knowing it won’t disappoint. The scent, inspired by St. Barts, has tropical notes like dragonfruit and tuberose, so you’ll be transported right to island life.

      Sunshine Bundle
      This diffuser has a ceramic cover, making it much more high-end than the not-so-cute plastic options you can find elsewhere. It comes in eight gorgeous color options, so it’s guaranteed to look beautiful in any home. This bundle comes with four vibrant essential oils for energy and overall good vibes.

      Silk Sleepmask
      Our editors swear by silk sleep masks to get the beauty sleep we deserve. This option from Slip will definitely elevate your everyday sleep experience, but they’re even better for improving sleep while traveling.

      Lowball Ribbed Cocktail Glasses
      It’s time to trade in those old plastic cups and invest in some beautiful glassware. It’s truly shocking how fancy you can feel by drinking a beverage out of a pretty glass—and you better believe it’s worth it.

      Barefoot Dreams
      CozyChic™ Socks
      It’s no secret that we’re obsessed with Barefoot Dreams here at The Everygirl. We’ve raved about the robes and the blankets, but these socks are our new favorite. These will have you feeling extra cozy all fall and winter long.

      Summer Fridays
      Lip Butter Balm
      As much as we hate to acknowledge it, the colder months are fast approaching. This lip butter balm from Summer Fridays is praised for its luxurious scent and ultra-hydrating properties. Plus, it’s vegan, cruelty-free, and comes in recyclable packaging.

      Reverence Aromatique Hand Wash
      While you might be tempted to pick up a $5 hand soap on your next Target run, you don’t realize how much this Aesop option will elevate your hand-washing experience until you’ve tried it. Not only does it smell like you’re in a luxurious spa, it keeps your hands extra moisturized and soft.

      15 Sunday Rituals to Set You Up for an Amazing Week

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      You Don’t Need a S.O. To Take You Out: 6 Solo Date Ideas to Add to Your Calendar ASAP

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      Too many times we get caught up in scrolling for our next beau or babe on Bumble, spicing up our romantic relationships, or maintaining the platonic ones (especially over long distance). And since we’re always making space and time for our loved ones, sometimes we forget the most important person through it all: you. Ask yourself this: how many times this year have you actually thought about some solo date ideas? No, I’m not talking about a Trader Joe’s run (although it can be quite the self-care), but a real moment of dating yourself. 
      To some, this may sound absolutely outside of the box. How does a date work if it doesn’t have at least two people? This isn’t some ploy to force you to be anti-social, I promise. It’s a push to take better care of yourself, find your love language, and treat yourself accordingly. If that doesn’t convince you, remember this: If you spend your entire life waiting on other people, you’ll be waiting forever.
      You know that cute cafe you’ve been eying for months now? Grab your laptop and just go. That trip to the West Indies you’ve been pasting on your mood board for the past three years? Buy that ticket and make sure you get a window seat. Although the journey may be terrifying—introverts, I’m talking to you—there is something absolutely magical in doing things alone. All it takes is a little push and a long bucket list. 
      Here are 6 solo date ideas that’ll have you clearing your calendar for the rest of the year.

      1. Go to a Museum or Art Gallery
      Connecting with history and art is as therapeutic as it gets. Head to your local museum or art gallery and lose yourself in it all. When you’re alone, you can stare at a piece or dawdle in an exhibit for as long as you want. Nobody is there to rush or ask for your commentary.
      Use that time to think introspectively. How does the art relate to a similar experience you’ve had? Do you feel inclined to do more at-home research on a specific culture you came across? How do the brush strokes of a particular painting make you feel? Kudos if you head to a different city or state for this one.

      2. Book a Yoga or Fitness Class
      Working out with friends can be fun, but pushing yourself to do it alone can be extremely rewarding. Have you always wanted to try pilates? Maybe hot yoga? Head to your nearest studio and start sweating!
      Without being swayed by the commitment of others, you’ll be able to focus on your own goals and stay consistent, and you’ll be able to mold your regimen around your own schedule, too. Besides maximizing your flexibility, the intrinsic gratification you’ll experience will be much better than hearing a compliment from anyone else. And if you’re still wanting an accountability buddy, make friends at your gym or studio. 

      3. Have a Mini-Photoshoot
      Ready to start your trek to 1M followers? Even if you’re not eying being the next big-time influencer, grabbing your camera and taking pictures of yourself is sure to be a confidence booster. How many times did you find the perfect background on a girls’ trip, but the pictures just weren’t turning out how you wanted? Take this time to figure out new poses, your best angles, and some of the most unbelievable locations.

      4. Take a Cooking Class
      We can all admit that ordering out always beats cooking in, but it doesn’t hurt to sharpen your skills. If you’re exhausted with your current rotation of meals, find a local (or online) class that caters to the cuisine you’re obsessed with or want to know more about. Besides being a great way to connect with family and loved ones, it’s an amazing way to constantly treat yourself. There’s no better feeling than knowing your recipe tastes just as good (if not better) than it does at your favorite restaurant.
      If you’re out of luck with chefs that inspire you, Pinterest is always a faithful option. Here are some of my favorites I’m sure you’ll fall in love with: 

      5. Get Dinner and See a Movie
      Going back to the basics is always a great idea. Although there won’t be any moves by your date getting pulled on you (bummer?), it’s a great way to show yourself that these places aren’t only reserved for twos. For dinner, proudly request your table for one, and bring along your laptop or journal if you feel uncomfortable. It’ll become easier the more you go.
      If you’re an avid moviegoer or just an occasional one, challenge yourself to see a movie you haven’t heard of. The thrill just might be the beginning of your love for a new series, actor, or director. And who knows, you might even be pulling moves on yourself by the end of the night. 

      6. Be a Tourist in Your Own Town
      For many of us, home is our happy place. The idea of going outside might seem unappetizing, but I challenge you to throw on your favorite outfit, put your cellphone on DND, and treat your city like foreign territory. Check out all of the hidden gems, try new restaurants, and support some small businesses. You never know what you’ll find. 
      If you’re really feeling up for it, walk, roller skate, or bike ride throughout your city instead of driving. Too many times we use our cars as shields to not have to really be within the city we reside in. Take a new path and put yourself completely out there. It’ll be worth it. 

      5 Things My Therapist Taught Me About Self-Love More