More stories

  • in

    Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

    Gugu Mfuphi, a financial journalist and host of the award-winning weekday evening show Kaya Biz on Kaya Fm, recently summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, with an all-female group, as part of the #Trek4Mandela and The Imbumba Foundation’s Caring4Girls initiative. The two organisations have partnered to raise funds that go towards addressing the period poverty still experienced by many girls in South Africa and the world over.

    Through #Trek4Mandela, adolescent girls are provided with sanitary towels, puberty education and menstrual hygiene support. Speaking on taking this leap of faith, Gugu says she had to constantly bargain with her fear of not making it back alive by remembering that this was all for a good cause.

    READ MORE: Do This Cardio Workout At Home To Burn Cals And Boost Your Mood

    The Kilimanjaro experience, she says, helped her with many lessons that she will be applying to her career and life in general.

    “So far, a large influence has been my career within financial journalism. The realm that I choose to operate in is within business finance and economics, but it also spreads across the breadth of women empowerment, how youth can get involved, technology and other ancillary sectors. I’d say, crafting a niche for myself, being deliberate about it, my skills competence, constant curiosity and great networks have stood me in good stead,” she reflects.

    A self-confessed fitness enthusiast, one whole swears by high-intensity workouts, Gugu says the organisers encouraged them to maintain a healthy lifestyle ahead of the trip. “Once you’re on the mountain, something as simple as a cold could turn into something more dire. I took lots of ginger shots, primarily to boost my immune system,” says Gugu, who’s always loved hiking and the outdoors.

    Below she shares some of the highlights of the trip, lessons learnt and how she survived it all.

    One Thing I Didn’t Do More Of…

    “…was upper strength training. From a fitness point of view, a lot of us actually admitted that we didn’t focus much on our core, shoulders and back. As a result, we sure felt the pressure of carrying the additional weight of our backpacks for that extended period. Typically when you train on the stairs, you’re there for a few hours with perhaps 8kg weights on your back. On the mountain, however, you’re walking for up to eight hours daily while carrying your luggage throughout. Hard lesson learnt here!”

    Respect The Basics

    “Listen, I’d never appreciated Vaseline as much as I did during the hike. I probably took three tubs of Vaseline with me [chuckles]. Around dusk and on summit night (specifically) there was an icy cold breeze that left a burning sensation on the skin feeling — especially on the the lips and nose. I used it on my hands and face at some point because your ordinary moisturiser just wasn’t cutting it. 

    Sunscreen came in handy on the days when the sun was scorching hot, ginger sweets helped ease the altitude-induced nausea. And how can I forget wet wipes? The dusty and windy conditions meant that we constantly had to wipe ourselves down. Wipes also came in handy during pee breaks in the bush, as well as wiping hands. There’s just no looking cute up there, something I had to quickly accept because I’m a such girly girl [chuckles].”

    Showing Up For Self

    The hike through the rain forest went well, followed by our move from Mandara Camp to Horongo Camp – a 13km distance that took us about eight to 9 hours. This was when altitude sickness started kicking in – we were moving 2100m above sea level to just above 3000m. In as much as we’d taken diamox to aid with the altitude sickness, I still got terribly sick. It started off with a headache. One of the guides said he’d noticed that I’d been a lot quieter than usual. I’d been drinking lots of water, taking ginger sweets and fighting the strong urge to throw up.

    Right after the guide had questioned my silence, I started throwing up and continued for the rest of the afternoon until we arrived at the next camp. I tried eating soup with a bit of rice in it, and it all came back at the lunch table. I basically threw up until my stomach was empty. The nausea pill that the doctor gave me also came back up. At this point, the doctor was worried about my sugar levels. I proceed to hike in my weak state, with the guides and the doctor monitoring me closely. The team was really amazing – they wiped my mouth each time I threw up, carried my bag and handed me my walking stick while urging me to forge ahead slowly.

    READ MORE: A Quick Resistance Band Arm Workout You Can Do At Home

    Meal time was always best

    “The guides and porters really made a great effort of serving us cooked meals, which were surprisingly good. I must admit that I’d gone there with no expectations of having decent food but was always pleasantly surprised at dinner time — everything from pasta dishes to stews. I made a mental note to make a concerted effort to cook more back home and have a greater appreciation for food as well as to remember that what I put in my body ultimately nourishes both my body and soul.”

    Lessons Abound

    “While weak and throwing up, I remember one of the guides saying to me: ‘Time will pass but you need to keep moving’. That’s when I realised that people can help you with everything – they can carry your bags, give you meds, wipe your mouth etc, but unless you put in the effort yourself to do what needs to be done, you’re not going to get anywhere. Even though I wasn’t at my strongest physically, what helped psychologically was one of the guides saying I needed to walk in front. That forced me to recognise that I was leading people and that we needed to get somewhere.

    Pole, pole!

    One of the phrases the guides often repeated to us by the guides was ‘pole, pole‘, meaning take your time. I was reminded that slow progress is still progress and of the power of showing up. I also wasn’t prepared to go out like that, not on the second day. Thankfully, altitude sickness eventually eased its hold on me. Summit night was particularly draining, and in hindsight, I realised that it was due to the altitude. I remember blinking and feeling like it took me forever to blink – the brain was deprived of oxygen because it had been allocated to other parts of the body, mostly the lungs and the legs because they were doing the bulk of the work.

    The oxygen deprivation is what makes people delirious or have a minimised function of the brain. I remember telling one of the guides that I was fine and not out of breath, but just tired. At that point in the hike, the guides spoke to us a lot to ensure that our brains were still functional. Some people start hallucinating or develop pulmonary oedema (water in the lungs) due to oxygen deprivation. I kept thinking: ‘I need to get to the peak of Kilimanjaro’ but had completely forgotten about the descent [chuckles]. No matter how difficult it gets up there, mentally you need to want it for yourself. And the same lesson can be applied to life in general!”

    READ MORE: How One Woman Lost Half Her Bodyweight – And Kept It Off

    Nurturing My Body

    Back at home, Gugu admits to being the type of girl who can easily choose dessert over a meal. In her world, she shares, a slice of cake and a cup of tea make the world a better place. “Perhaps it’s some type of psychological security because that’s how my grandmother, mom, aunts and I used to connect on weekends,” she shares.

    To snack, she loves nuts, which work well as a hiking snack. “Pineapple, grapes and blueberries also top my list of favourite fruit on any day,” she says. Upon returning from Kili, Gugu took some time off before getting back into her wellness routine.

    “I generally work out three to four times a week and swear by high intensity workouts — I’m a burpee, jump squat with a dumbbell kind of girl. And I still do a lot of cardio and endurance training which is what we had to do in preparation for Kilimanjaro,” she says. More

  • in

    These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

    From the outside, it looked as if Tenise Hordge, 39, had it all. After spending 18 years climbing the corporate ladder, the engineer had the impressive title, big salary and corner office. But she wasn’t happy.

    After her daughter was born prematurely in 2017, she began to feel adrift at work. Who cares about this title I have? she remembers thinking. It didn’t help her carry her baby to full term. The money was not helping her daughter come home from the hospital sooner. Then came 2020. Hordge was exhausted, in so many ways. “I didn’t want to continue being this person I no longer was,” she says.

    You might call it an identity crisis, but psychologists would describe what Hordge was going through as a crisis of purpose.

    What does that actually mean?

    Purpose is a driving force in your life that connects you to values and ideals bigger than yourself, says psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a WH advisor and the author of Nervous Energy. Some prioritise crushing it in their careers. Excellence is a value, “so the drive to be excellent as a professional can be a purpose,” says Carmichael. But purpose can also take other forms—you may be motivated to devote yourself to religion, create art, or advocate for a social cause.

    “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances.”

    All this may seem a bit abstract, but research shows purposeful living has a real impact on our well-being. Not only are those who move through life with a defined purpose more likely to stay happy in their jobs, but they are also better at keeping up with regular health screenings and less likely to have anxiety and depression. A strong sense of purpose has been linked to greater longevity too.

    It can be good to intentionally rethink and renew your purpose periodically throughout your life. This helps you stay in tune with what’s important to you at different points in time. FYI: Adults are more likely to feel happy with their life if they have a purpose and concrete strategies to carry out that purpose, a study in Frontiers in Psychology found.

    On that note, let us introduce you to a process called “life crafting.” It involves actively reflecting on your life via writing and thinking exercises—then setting goals to make changes so that how you spend your time aligns with what you value most, says Michaéla Schippers, a professor of behaviour and performance management at Rotterdam School of Management at Erasmus University in the Netherlands, who coined the term.

    You’re prompted to take an honest look at your passions, skills and even social life. “For a lot of people, without realising it, they find they are working a certain job or living in a way their parents wanted for them or what they think society demands of them,” says Schippers.

    Life crafting involves actively reflecting on your life—then setting goals to make changes.

    In Hordge’s case, it definitely took time—and a lot of planning—to figure out her next steps. Hordge wanted to help new moms navigate the challenges she faced, especially in breastfeeding. When her daughter was in the NICU, having a lactation consultant made a huge difference. She decided that was what she wanted to do and nailed down the specifics of how to turn it into reality. First, she used her bonus to cover a year’s worth of expenses. She and her husband paid off their car loans and debts. She found a certification program near her family so she could complete her clinical hours and have help with her two children. She found a lawyer and set up an LLC. Hordge now runs her own business helping new moms.

    “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances,” Schippers says. “But what’s really important is that you have to set aside time to focus on it. It’s something you create for yourself. You’re the only one who can do it.”

    The good news is anyone willing to put in the effort can reap the benefits of life crafting. Keep reading for a step-by-step guide with exercises from experts to find your spark, design your future and set a unique and fulfilling vision in motion.

    READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    1. Get to Know Yourself

    The first step is clarifying your values. “My biggest piece of advice is to relearn yourself,” Hordge says. “Once you understand who you are, you’ll know what’s important to you.” The cultural obsession with status or achievement drives many to go after the next pay raise or better title versus something truly meaningful to them. “For high-achieving women and especially women of colour, we’re valued and judged by what we do and not who we are,” says Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, MD, founder of Melanin and Medicine. “That allows people to do all these things because of positive reinforcement from others without asking, ‘Is this what I really want?’”

    Explore Your Values

    Organising your thoughts in writing is key, per research. Ideally, you want to identify a passion that aligns with your values. So, from the two prompts below, pick one that speaks to you and write a short essay to discover where you stand:

    Look to the past. Your past experiences shape you, sure—but they can also teach you a lot about your purpose. “Look back at the moments in your life that have been meaningful to you,” Dr. Uwemedimo says. “That can help you find what brings joy and lead you to where you should put your focus.”

    Look to the future. Think about what kinds of relationships you’d like to have in your private and professional lives and what kind of career you want. Also, become aware of your current habits and skills while reflecting on the ones you adore or want to develop. That’s the first step toward breaking old patterns and building new routines.

    2. Set Goals

    Research shows that goals that are aligned with values are better for overall well-being. So, once you clarify your values, you’re already halfway there. Now give some thought to how you might turn them into action. For Hordge, that meant a career change. But finding your purpose can also mean simply creating space in your life to do more of what brings you meaning. For example, if it’s being a parent, a goal may be to find a way to delegate more tasks so you can spend time with your family.

    Imagine the Alternate Universe…

    Fantasise what your life will look like if you don’t take any actions. This actually motivates you to follow through because you’re confronted with the consequences of doing the opposite. Ask yourself, “What would my future look like five to 10 years down the road if nothing changes?”

    …Then Prioritise

    Write a passage laying out your ideal life. How would you spend your days if there were no limits of any kind? When Schippers started assigning first-year students this exercise, the university saw a 22 percent decrease in dropout rates among those who wrote it. List specific goals that will help you achieve your ideal life, then prioritise them. Identify the stumbling blocks that could get in your way and write down how you might work through them.

    READ MORE: Can Manifesting Really Help You Smash Your Goals?

    3. Open Up

    Finally, announce your plans to the world, Schippers says. Sharing your goals increases accountability and makes it more likely you will achieve them. Post your goals on Instagram, or simply talk through them with your partner or friend.

    It’s also important to start a new conversation with yourself. Life crafting can help you cultivate what’s known as an “internal locus of control.” With it, you believe it’s within your control to shape and affect the outcome and experience you have in life.

    Visualise Your Success

    Once you get the ball rolling, spend a few minutes each day or week picturing yourself living the ideal life you wrote about in your essay. If your goal is to travel the world, you might imagine looking up at the northern lights or chatting with the locals in Rome. Then envision yourself messaging your 2023 self to let her know you’re proud of her. “This can help you feel connected to the person you aspire to be,” Carmichael says. “This way, your aspirational self feels more attainable.”

    This article by Amelia Harnish originally appeared in the March 2023 issue of Women’s Health. More

  • in

    18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    Whatever may be bothering you, mental health books really help. They serve as a roadmap and guide to delving deeper into your psyche and delivering key aha-moment insights that’ll help you shed anxiety, limit people-pleasing or even find your purpose. We’ve gathered mental health books that’ll help. While we’ve grouped them into categories, you’ll find that what works for people-pleasing also helps with setting boundaries or building resilience, for example. Ready to dive into these life-changing reads? Our picks, below.

    For people-pleasers

    Let That Sh*t Go by Nina Purewal and Kate Petriw

    Find peace of mind – no matter what life throws at you – by learning these essential skills when it matters most. Above all, you’ll learn to let things go that just don’t serve you anymore.

    Please Yourself by Emma Reed Turrell

    Keen to get in on not people-pleasing anymore? Transform your life by accepting yourself as you are and not relying on other people’s judgements to bring you joy with this book. Written by psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell, you’ll learn about different types of people-pleasing and how to break out of the loop.

    READ MORE: 4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health Support

    For positive reinforcement

    dear self by Patience Tamarra Davis

    Reassure yourself with this collection of positive affirmations and reminders. They’re all centred around self-love, growth and healing.

    Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur

    #1 New York Times bestselling author Rupi b Kaur has hand-picked this collection of work, where she explores loss, trauma, love and heartbreak. Through the collection, you’ll learn to be vulnerable and honest and through that, be able to let go and learn to love.

    READ MORE: The 16 Best Mental Health Podcasts To Help You Cope With Anxiety, Depression, And More

    For inner child work

    How To Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Capple

    If you’re feeling empty inside but aren’t sure why, this could be the book for you. From tackling addictive behaviours to feeling extra sensitive, or if you’re rarely experiencing joy or happiness, this book tackles these themes by taking things back to your formative years and looking to unpack what brought you to where you are, through healing. A must-read for anyone.

    How To Do The Work by Nicole LePera

    Popular social media therapist Nicole LePera published a book about healing your inner child and actually digging deep to get the work done. Find insights about self-healing and creating a life that you love through this guide. She also draws on new research surrounding the topic and teaches you to scrap old patterns that keep you stuck.

    READ MORE: 6 Foolproof Ways To Protect Your Mental Health At Work

    For assertiveness

    Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

    If you’re tired of letting people walk all over you, this book is an excellent guide to setting up healthy boundaries that you can stick to. Since it was first published, it’s helped millions of people discover the importance of understanding their limitations so they can live more fully. A must-read.

    The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumikake Koga

    You might not relate to the title much, but hear us out: the Japanese phenomenon challenges the idea that you need to be liked in order to be the truest version of yourself. Over the course of five conversations between a philosopher and a young man, you’ll uncover insights like freeing yourself from trauma and the expectations of others.

    For anxiety

    Unwinding Anxiety by Dr Judson Brewer

    For those of us struggling with anxiety, this book uproots the source of anxiety with brain-based techniques and hacks that are accessible to use. Author Dr Judson Brewer teaches you how to identify and diffuse triggers and embrace mindfulness.

    The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

    This incredibly popular book takes a deep look at trauma and unwinds it to reveal the way it affects your body, brain and psyche. As it turns out, meds and talking aren’t as effective when it comes to treating trauma stored in your body. Here, learn about a new route: including regulating the body through sport, drama, yoga and mindfulness.

    For intrusive thoughts

    Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Jospeh Nguyen

    Go beyond your thoughts and patterns and venture into the truth already known deep inside your soul. Learn about how to break free from negative thought loops and how to create a life of abundance, flow and ease. A book for tapping into your intuition and letting it lead you.

    Obsessive Intrusive Magical Thinking by Marianne Eloise

    Writer and journalist Marianne Eloise talks through her own journey as an obsessive person with intrusive, violent thoughts and fixation on topics. From there, she finds healing through essays that tackle fixation, disorder and neurodivergence – and how to embrace the self.

    READ MORE: Anxiety In The Morning? Why It Happens And What To Do About It, According To A Mental Health Pro

    For building resilience

    Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? By Dr Julie Smith

    Getting through the ups and downs of life can be daunting and this book teaches you exactly how, using secrets from therapy. In short, bite-sized pieces, learn how to tackle the exact situation you’re tackling and forgive yourself with practical solutions we could all use right now.

    The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aron

    Per Aron, highly sensitive people “are often very bright and creative by may suffer from low self-esteem.” Learn how to leverage your unique make-up with these solutions for engaging in a world different from who and what you are. The book offers ways to reframe past events and reframe the way you see yourself.

    For finding your purpose

    The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

    This deeply moving novel delves into the magic of following your dreams. Through the protagonist’s journey, discover the power of leading with your heart, reading the omens along your path and following your dreams.

    Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel

    Looking for something that’s interactive and will help you uncover truths? Look to this book of self-exploration to help you nurture your creativity and self-motivation. The book presents helpful prompts that help you reflect and grow through exploring yourself.

    For mindfulness

    The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

    A seminal text that’s an international bestseller, you’ll learn the power of embracing the present moment for all its worth and how it can create a happier, more mindful life. While the book is not an easy read – go with pen and paper at the ready to jot down your thoughts and answers to prompts – it is a powerful text that can leave you with more answers than you’d thought.

    The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

    Haemin Sunim, a Buddhist monk born in Korea and educated in the United States, offers advice on dealing with life’s setbacks, rest, relationships and more. The book is fuelled by requests Haemin wrote in response to questions on social media and is illustrated with calming images.

    Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More

  • in

    Author Rešoketšwe Manenzhe On Pursuing Simplicity For Better Mental Clarity

    The South African literary world knows Rešoketšwe Manenzhe as a poet, short story writer and award-winning novelist. Even with her 2020 debut novel Scatterlings receiving rave reviews worldwide, the 32-year-old is hellbent on maintaining a simple life – something she suspects was inspired by growing up in rural Limpopo.

    “I really am a simple person. I think some would describe me as boring – and I’m totally fine with that. Being totally fine with this has actually led me to really be okay with myself a lot of the time,” she explains. 

    READ MORE: Banesa Tseki On How Yoga Gave Her A New Lease On Life

    Simplicity

    Simplicity is an undertaking that recently made Rešoketšwe leave social media in pursuit of living in the moment. Citing the joke about bringing back diaries because everybody is just putting their business everywhere, Rešoketšwe says,

    “We laugh at this joke but it’s also kind of true. Social media has made us too connected. I don’t think we’re meant to know so much about each other’s thoughts. And I wanted to have, and maintain, a certain mystery with people. As in, meet people at face value and experience them for the first time without thinking about something they said on Twitter.” 

    READ MORE: Anthropologist, Poet And Author Lebohang Masango On Exploring Paths Less Travelled

    Career Paths

    Rešoketšwe’s writing journey was inspired by her love for poetry back in high school. “I never studied literature or anything related to it. I just kept writing poetry, then did short stories and progressed to novels,” she explains. How’s that for a reminder that passion can truly steer us in the direction of our dream lives? Though Rešoketšwe is currently completing her PhD in Chemical Engineering at the University of Cape Town, she admits that if she could venture into anything new right now, it would be to study film. “If, at 18, I knew what I know now, I would’ve gone to film school. But we don’t know that some things are options until we are much older,” she muses. 

    With two career streams that are a far cry from each other, Rešoketšwe is still grateful that she held onto a truth she discovered in her formative years. “Knowing for a fact that I’m not someone who would do well in corporate really saved me. I don’t fit well into that kind of mould. That structure really leaves me depleted.” For now, while she figures out how to merge her scientific and creative worlds, she’s holding on to simplicity, in all forms, as her guiding force. 

    READ MORE: Actress Shannon Esra On Learning To Trust Her Intuition

    Lesser Known Facts

    “Sci-fi and romance are my top two favourite genres. I think that nobody suspects this because I write a lot of literary fiction, which doesn’t fit neatly into any genre.”

    On Embracing Stress 

    “I have such packed days that I haven’t had much of a social life in a long while. Honestly, I haven’t reached a point where I’m able to better handle stress. I’m just trying to survive at this point, and that’s also okay.”

    This article was originally published in the July/August 2023 issue of Women’s Health SA. More

  • in

    Mercury is in retrograde: Buckle up, here’s how to protect your mental health

    Life

    by Ruman Baig
    25 mins ago

    Navigating the Annual Phase of Mercury Retrograde.
    This frequently memed celestial phenomenon alludes to a series of disruptions that tend to crop up during specific periods annually.
    Proponents of astrology believe that when Mercury is in retrograde, a vulnerable window opens up for communication breakdowns, relationship hiccups, and misunderstandings with those close to us. It’s as if cosmic interference temporarily disturbs our usual patterns of interaction.
    But what exactly does “Mercury in retrograde” signify? Beyond its meme-worthy reputation, this expression refers to an astrological event where Mercury, the planet closest to the sun, appears to move slower than the Earth as they both orbit around the sun.

    Normally, Mercury completes its orbit in 88 days, while Earth takes 365 days. However, during retrograde, Mercury’s slower pace creates an optical illusion that it’s moving backward. This phenomenon holds significance in astrology as Mercury is said to govern areas such as communication, technology, travel, news, and information. Therefore, when retrograde occurs, a series of mishaps—missed connections, miscommunications—can be expected.
    Wondering why people react strongly to Mercury retrograde? It’s because Mercury’s influence over communication is believed to take on negative undertones during retrograde motion. This can manifest in lost emails, disrupted travel plans, and even shifts in relationships and misunderstandings. Some effects attributed to this period include brain fog, anxiety, headaches, and uncertainties in work and personal projects.

    What can one do—or not do—during Mercury retrograde to navigate these challenges?

    If you’re concerned about its potential impact, consider prioritizing self-care and a more deliberate pace.
    Refrain from making significant decisions or starting new projects until after the retrograde has passed.
    Avoid engaging in conflicts, as misunderstandings could be amplified during this time.
    If emotions are running high, practice deep breathing or meditation to alleviate stress. It’s worth noting that even if you don’t personally subscribe to the phenomenon’s effects, those around you might. Thus, offering support and understanding is crucial.
    Maintain perspective and avoid taking things personally

    Remember, Mercury retrograde might be a celestial event with varying beliefs, but its impact on people’s lives is undeniable. Whether you’re a steadfast believer or a skeptic, embracing mindfulness and empathy during this phase is a universally valuable approach.
    For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Images: Instagram @sarashakeel More

  • in

    Anthropologist, Poet And Author Lebohang Masango On Exploring Paths Less Travelled

    Despite her mother being anxious about what career prospects this rare path would open for her, Lebohang allowed passion to trump fear. “I’ve always been a person who follows my heart. Anthropology was something I enjoyed and could spend hours doing and thinking about. So, I asked mom to just trust me,” she shares. 

    Lebohang studied anthropology at a time when there was a big shift towards nurturing a new breed of anthropologists whose work wouldn’t only live in academic journals and textbooks. “Because anthropology involves studying people, we want to create work that will be seen and tangibly change people’s lives,” she enthuses. 

    READ MORE: Banesa Tseki On How Yoga Gave Her A New Lease On Life

    Through the many worldviews that anthropology afforded her, Lebohang has gone on to craft a bold career that challenges the order of things and makes space for fresh perspectives — even the unpopular ones. 

    BREAKTHROUGH

    Her biggest breakthrough to date, she says, was a campaign where Standard Bank gave a few influencers a small budget and asked them what leap of faith they would take if money wasn’t a biggie. The year was 2016, and Lebohang had been feeling incredibly overwhelmed with putting together her master’s dissertation. “I remembered how much joy reading brought me as a child and toyed with writing for children because my brain was desperate for something new,” she says. At the time, poetry, her master’s dissertation and adulting had left her wallowing in frustration, she adds. “Writing for children is more difficult than writing for adults but it was a challenge that I thoroughly enjoyed,” she says. 

    A series of creatively planned events led to Lebohang self-publishing the award-winning Mpumi’s Magic Beads in 2017, followed by The Great Cake Contest a year later. In the same way that her socio-political beliefs were layered in the storyline of Mpumi’s Magic Beads – and influenced by her Honours research on primary school policies on hair and the effect it has on young girls – Lebohang’s new adult novel is centred around her 2019 Master’s thesis on adult women’s choice to enter into consensual relationships with men of a particular financial and social standing. 

    READ MORE: Actress Shannon Esra On Learning To Trust Her Intuition

    EXPLORING UNPOPULAR NARRATIVES

    Lebohang has read 2000+ books to date, a habit she’s grateful for but is also quick to admit that, “I have slowed down on reading in my adult years because, well…Adulthood! [chuckles]”. Currently a social anthropology PhD candidate at the University of Pretoria, Lebohang wanted her debut novel The Soft Life: Love, choice and modern dating to explore a new narrative. “Academia tends to problematise romantic relationships, especially around young Black women and men. I’m coming from a perspective of ‘what else is there to talk about when we remove illness, stigma and an overbearing focus on violence?’ I believe that the book has done what I was taught in anthropology – to make sure that my work lives beyond the very rigid walls of academia,” she explains.  

    The never-before-explored themes in The Soft Life have already earned some disapproval — even from her own mother. However, she’s willing to take it all in her stride because she believes it’s important to always make room for new perspectives. “Being on the opposite side of people’s moral stances has been hard but receiving feedback from people who totally get the book has been affirming,” she says. Now that Lebohang proved her resilience through an emotionally taxing process of writing an entire novel, what’s next on the cards for her? “I’m working hard to submit my PhD dissertation, all 80 000 words — that’s a very big thing that I need to accomplish.” 

    READ MORE: Exactly How To Be More Confident When Networking, According To Women In Business

    BEST DOWNTIME

    “Taking walks, sleeping, reading, spending time with my partner, listening to jazz and watching trashy reality TV shows. My anthropologist brain’s always trying to search for the meaning being created through these reality TV show moments. I think they’re incredibly valuable!” More

  • in

    Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

    Burnout is incredibly common and even more so the further along the year goes. And women bear the brunt of burnout rates, according to studies. The issue is larger than you’d think and affects women differently than it does men. That’s because women shoulder responsibilities at home and at work, taking on roles that can be emotionally and physically draining.

    What is burnout?

    Burnout is a state of emotional, physical and mental exhaustion resulting from prolonged stress. Globally, just over 42% of women report being burned out. Women are delivering performance and business results but at a great personal toll.

    How burnout manifests among women

    International studies have shown that women in senior management roles do more to help their employees navigate work-life challenges relative to their male peers. Women spend more time helping manage workloads and are 60% more likely to be focusing on emotional support. This is important, as it helps employees feel good about themselves. But employees have reported that when they receive additional support, they are happier in their job and less likely to move.

    Women take on work at home, too

    One in three women and 60% of mothers with young children spend five or more hours a day on housework, homework and caregiving. Five hours a day is equivalent to a half-time job.

    “Burnout arises when individuals cannot access enough recovery between stressors,” explains Kerry Rudman from Brain Harmonics, a Neurofeedback organisation specialising in retraining brains.

    “We see this particularly with employed parents who face a higher number of and longer exposure to stressors from the multiple roles they play. This is compared with non-parents. And they have less ability to access periods of recovery as a result. Employed parents report several stressors. In particular, a lack of work-life balance, increased responsibilities at both work and home, greater concern for safety at work and for their kids at school, a loss of social support and isolation.”

    In collective studies conducted around the world, employed parents have reported the following in comparison to non-parents.

    Women are worn-out after work

    The compounded pressure of working while parenting, including remote schooling and working, has left many with feelings of apathy and fatigue. They feel that they are failing to live up to their own expectations across their multiple social roles. There are also indications that parents are not finding support or help from their employees.

    “Of the parents who report burnout – 90% believe their management considers productivity to be more important than mental health,” says Rudman. “Because of this, a lot of people will never discuss any issues that they are experiencing with their management or co-workers. People don’t want to be seen as incompetent or be at risk of being replaced. There is an assumption that people should be glad that they have a job right now and everyone just needs to do the extra work demanded of them as they could easily be replaced.”

    Employed parents report a range of stressors that have deteriorated their mental health. The level of household responsibilities is a particular problem. “In a survey conducted by Brain Harmonics, parents experiencing symptoms of burnout are more often responsible for all household duties. That’s compared with parents not experiencing symptoms of burnout (57 percent versus 41 percent),” says Rudman.

    In fact, the majority of parents responsible for all household duties report symptoms of burnout. These responsibilities, including caring for older adult family members in addition to children, most often fall to women. They have also been more likely to cut back on paid work during the COVID-19 pandemic in order to provide childcare. For these women, reduced paid time at work could also exacerbate the symptoms of burnout, if their responsibilities at work do not also decrease.

    Moms are worried about their kids

    Four in five employed parents say that they feel concerned about their child’s mental health. And more than one-third rate this concern as extreme.

    In a McKinsey and Co survey, parents are more likely than non-parents to report missing days of work because of burnout. They are also more likely to use leaves of absence and supported employment.

    Employed parents are more likely than non-parents to see themselves staying at their employer in two years’ time. But burnout correlates to employed parents’ likelihood of not recommending their place of work to others.

    “What’s more, stress and burnout, are the main reasons that cause people to consider leaving their jobs,” says Rudman.

    Alleviating the symptoms of burnout

    If you think you’re burnt out, or heading in that direction, therapy is a powerful tool. It’s a way to verbalise and let go of stressors while creating lasting, sustainable habits that can support a well-rounded lifestyle. Neurofeedback is another option: a non-invasive tool that can improve mental health and the feelings of physical burnout. It measures brain waves and provides a feedback signal to the brain so that new, healthier neuropathways are formed. For more information about neurofeedback training, check out Brain Harmonics.

    As with anything, burnout is a condition that needs to be treated with expertise. Chat with your doctor and a therapist to get the help you need. More

  • in

    4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health Support

    There are very few things in life that we can never tire of talking about. And mental health should top that list. This, in a country where the stigma surrounding mental health challenges is still met with nonchalant responses such as, “you’re being lazy” or “just keep pushing”, therefore making it harder for people to ask for help. At around a R1000 and more for a consultation, quality mental health care has become the reserve of those with deep pockets! 

    South Africa’s mental health culture still sees many people choosing to suffer in silence and embarrassment instead of speaking out. Other than private mental health specialists, there aren’t many free or affordable mental health resources to cater to the population. 

    A 2022 research paper published by the Wits/Medical Research Council Developmental Pathways for Health Research Unit found that “South Africans suffer higher rates of probable depression and anxiety than other countries”. This was also a finding recorded by the Mental Health of the World report 2021 which, through the lowest mental health quotient score in the world, concluded that South Africa had a masked mental health crisis. To help you along on your mental health journey, we have compiled a list of apps and social media platforms to lean on when hard times strike. 

    READ MORE: 5 Morning Routines That Actually Work, According To Science

    Fee: Free for individualsAvailable: Android and iOS usersPanda is on a serious mission: to empower people to be proactive with their mental health battles. The user-friendly mobile app features tailored content, assessments, one-on-one therapy sessions as well as anonymous group sessions where you learn on topics ranging from anxiety to depression (and everything in between). The app offers three care packages for individuals, employees and insurers. 

    Fee: R185 per consultation or R120 for an express consultationAvailable: Android and iOS usersWith guaranteed quality healthcare at your fingertips, Kena Health has made it easy to consult a doctor or mental health professional directly. The app connects patients to qualified healthcare practitioners for advice, diagnoses, prescriptions and referrals to specialists or another place of care. Their aim: to make quality health care accessible at a steal.

    READ MORE: It’s Official: Stress Makes Us Crave Junk Food

    Fee: FreeAvailable: Android and iOS users Developed by medical doctors, WHOLE empowers users with ongoing self-care focused on holistic wellness in its entirety. How do they do this? Through a fun way to build healthy habits that can help improve mental health. Experiment with over 100 science-backed activities to boost your happiness. Plus, useful tips that keep you balanced all day and measure your progress. 

    READ MORE: “Social media had me romanticising my mental illness and put me in a hole.”

    Fee: FreeAvailability: Not available as an app yetDeveloped by IT entrepreneur Pieter Oosthuizen, this online support group helps you achieve your mental health and greater self-awareness through sharing and conversations. “The benefit of joining a support group has been widely recognised by mental health professionals around the world,” says Oosthuizen, who was inspired to launch the platform by his own sister’s battle with depression and anxiety.

    “Working with my sister, we started developing a platform that would enable anyone wanting to join any type of support group for a mental health condition or for life coaching generally to do so in a way that’s convenient, secure and affordable. It has also been designed to protect their privacy by allowing them to hide their identity from the host and other group members should they choose to do so.”

    READ MORE: Actress Shannon Esra On Learning To Trust Her Intuition

    More habits to hone

    Over some past few years, several studies have deduced that being constantly plugged into social media increased anxiety and depression. Taking a social media break is helpful for our mental health, as per the research findings of study by the Penn State University, USA and Jinan University, China. If you’re able to silence your mind for a few minutes a day (or more), then meditation also comes highly recommended. Several studies have, in the past, found that practising mindfulness and meditation ultimately leads to decreased stress levels. To get you started, we suggest downloading Insight Timer, Breathe2Relax or Smiling Mind for some guided meditation and breathwork. 

    Click here for some mental health resources and support if you’re in South Africa.  More