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      in entertainment and celebrities

      Shane MacGowan dead: The Pogues’ Fairytale of New York icon dies aged 65 after eight-year health battle

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      THE Pogues star Shane MacGowan has died at the age of 65 after an eight-year health battle.The Fairytale of New York singer, who had been diagnosed with viral encephalitis – a serious condition which leads to brain swelling – passed away at 3am this morning.
      Shane MacGowan had been battling with his health since 2015
      The Pogues star was well-known for his hit song Fairytale of New York
      Hellraiser Shane, whose 1987 Fairytale of New York became a Christmas anthem and sold millions of copies worldwide, became as famous for his hard-partying lifestyle as he was for his legendary singing and songwriting in his 1980s heyday.
      In recent years, the icon was confined to a wheelchair and was aided by his wife and carer at home due to ongoing health issues.
      Shane had been receiving care in St Vincent’s Hospital in Dublin for an infection but was discharged last week ahead of his upcoming birthday on Christmas Day.
      Shane’s wife Victoria today shared a heartbreaking statement announcing his death.

      She shared a throwback black and white snap of her beloved husband of five years and shared her shock at the loss of “the love of my life” and “beautiful angel”.
      Victoria paid a touching tribute to Shane, who was “the start and end of everything that I hold dear”.
      She said: “I don’t know how to say this so I am just going to say it.
      “Shane who will always be the light that I hold before me and the measure of my dreams and the love of my life and the most beautiful soul and beautiful angel and the sun and the moon and the start and end of everything that I hold dear has gone to be with Jesus and Mary and his beautiful mother Therese.
      Most read in The Irish Sun
      “I am blessed beyond words to have met him and to have loved him and to have been so endlessly and unconditionally loved by him and to have had so many years of life and love and joy and fun and laughter and so many adventures.”
      Victoria thanked Shane for the time they spent together and the “joy” he brought to the rest of world.
      Shane wed his long term love Victoria at an intimate ceremony in Denmark in 2018, after he finally proposed following 32 years of dating.
      The pair celebrated their fifth wedding anniversary after Shane was released from hospital last week.
      Victoria added: “There’s no way to describe the loss that I am feeling and the longing for just one more of his smiles that lit up my world.
      “Thank you thank you thank you thank you for your presence in this world you made it so very bright and you gave so much joy to so many people with your heart and soul and your music.
      “You will live in my heart forever.
      “Rave on in the garden all wet with rain that you loved so much.
      “You meant the world to me.”
      It comes as..

      Shane is survived by his wife Victoria, his sister Siobhan and father Maurice.
      Sharing a statement online, the family told of their deep sorrow and heartbreak at the loss of the beloved singer.
      They said: “It is with the deepest sorrow and heaviest of hearts that we announce the passing of Shane MacGowan.
      “Shane died peacefully at 3am this morning (30 November 2023) with his wife Victoria and family by his side.
      “Prayers and the last rites were read which gave comfort to his family.
      “He is survived by his wife Victoria, his sister Siobhan, his father, Maurice, family and a large circle of friends.
      “Further details will be announced shortly but the family ask for privacy at this very sad time”.
      In a sweet tribute of her own, Siobhan shared a snap with her beaming brother and said: “So I walked as day was dawning; as small birds sang and leaves were falling, where we once watched the row boats landing on the Broad Majestic Shannon”.
      WORLDWIDE HEARTACHE
      As fans shared their devastation, paying tribute to “a true legend”, President Michael D Higgins remembered Shane’s “genius” and talent.
      President Higgins said: “Like so many across the world, it was with the greatest sadness that I learned this morning of the death of Shane MacGowan.
      “Shane will be remembered as one of music’s greatest lyricists. So many of his songs would be perfectly crafted poems, if that would not have deprived us of the opportunity to hear him sing them.
      “The genius of Shane’s contribution includes the fact that his songs capture within them, as Shane would put it, the measure of our dreams – of so many worlds, and particularly those of love, of the emigrant experience and of facing the challenges of that experience with authenticity and courage, and of living and seeing the sides of life that so many turn away from.
      “His words have connected Irish people all over the globe to their culture and history, encompassing so many human emotions in the most poetic of ways.”
      Shane’s mother, Therese, was also a singer and was an inspiration in the Pogue star’s life and music career.
      President Higgins continued: “Shane’s talent was nurtured from a young age by his mother Therese, herself an award winning folk singer in her own right.
      “Therese, who lost her life in such tragic circumstances on New Year’s Day 2017, inspired in Shane the love of Irish music and traditions which resulted in the wonderful music and lyrics which have been a source of such joy for so many people.
      “Born on Christmas Day, there was perhaps some form of destiny which led Shane to writing ‘Fairytale of New York’, the timeless quality of which will surely mean that it will be listened to every Christmas for the next century or more.
      “Likewise songs like ‘Rainy Night in Soho’, ‘A Pair of Brown Eyes’, ‘If I Should Fall from Grace with God’ and so many others will live on far into the years and decades to come.
      “I think too of ‘Haunted’, and the particular poignancy that both Shane and Sinead O’Connor have left us in such quick succession.”
      One of Shane’s last public appearances was in 2018 at a special 60th birthday celebration at the National Concert Hall in Dublin.
      Celebrities and Shane’s close pals such as Johnny Depp, Bono, Sinead O’Connor and Cerys Matthews performed his songs while President Higgins presented him with a Lifetime Achievement Award.
      President Higgins described the presentation as “a great honour for me. A richly deserved honour.”
      He added: “On behalf of Sabina and I, may I extend my deepest condolences to Shane’s wife Victoria, his sister Siobhan, his father Maurice, his bandmates in the Pogues and other projects, and to all his many friends and family.”
      Shane’s bandmate Peter “Spider” Stacy paid tribute to his fellow Pogues co-founder, sharing an image of him performing on a stage.
      Taking to X, formerly Twitter, Stacy wrote: “‘O Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip is done..'”
      RISE OF THE POGUES
      Shane was born on Christmas Day in Pembury, Kent, in 1957 to Irish parents – his father worked in retail and his mother was an Irish dancer.
      He soon moved to rural Tipperary where he was immersed in an Irish culture of ceili bands and showbands before the family moved back to England.
      Shane was expelled from a prestigious Westminster School in London in his second year when he was caught in possession of drugs.
      He later claimed he had not been sober a single day in his life since he was 14.
      In 2001, Sinead O’Connor reported him to the police for drug possession – in what she said was an attempt to discourage him from using heroin.
      The star had always been open about his battle with drug addiction and alcohol abuse, which led him to lose all his teeth by 2008.
      Seven years after Shane lost the last of his teeth, he underwent a nine-hour procedure to fit 28 glowing dentures on a titanium frame and a gold tooth.
      Shane’s expulsion led the star to become involved in punk bands and form his own, before the birth of The Pogues in 1982.
      Shane on vocals, Peter “Spider” Tracy on tin whistle, and Jem Finer on banjo were the original members.
      James Fearnley, the accordion player for the Nips, Andrew Ranken on drums, and Cait O’Riordan on bass completed the lineup.
      The band’s initial name, Pogue Mahone, was an anglicization of the phrase “kiss my arse,” póg mo thóin.
      The band played traditional Irish and rebel songs and later performed songs with great depth, thanks to the songwriting talents of MacGowan.
      The band reached their critical peak with the 1985 album Rum, Sodomy and the Lash, and their commercial peak with 1988’s If I Should Fall from Grace with God.
      The latter provided the band with their biggest hit, MacGowan duetting with Kirsty MacColl on Fairytale of New York. Although it was kept off the coveted festive number one spot by The Pet Shop Boys, Fairytale regularly tops polls for the best Christmas song.
      However, the band kicked MacGowan out in 1991 after his erratic lifestyle and excessive drinking began to affect his creative output.
      The rock wildman time and time again defied critics who said he had ‘death wish’.
      The Tipperary rocker once told the Irish Sun: “All the people who used to say that I had a death wish and that I wouldn’t see 30 — where are they now? If I had a death wish, I’d be dead.”
      Shane formed his own band, The Popes, and toured extensively, but was back with The Pogues in 2001.
      ‘BONES TURNED TO DUST’
      In September 2020, a new documentary, Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan, was released Directed by Julien Temple and produced by Johnny Depp.
      It featured unseen archival footage from the band and MacGowan’s family, as well as animation from illustrator Ralph Steadman.
      In 2021, it was revealed by Mick Cronin of Irish rock indie band Cronin that MacGowan had recorded with them in May.
      “Once he’s in the studio, he’s all guns blazing,” the drummer told the New York Times.
      In November 2022, MacGowan released his first art book.
      The book, titled The Eternal Buzz and the Crock of Gold, included never-before-seen artwork, handwritten lyrics and school essays.
      Over the last eight years, Shane battled health issues and eventually needed help getting out of bed.
      The rocker’s mobility was dramatically reduced after a 2015 fall, which left him with a broken pelvis. 
      At the time, Shane told Vice that he “fell the wrong way”, which left him “lame in one leg” and unable to walk without a crutch. 
      The singer was forced to use a wheelchair in the years that followed and last year, his injuries worsened after he fell and broke his knee shortly after tearing a ligament.
      Read More on The Sun
      He said at the time: “You find out your bones are turned to dust”.
      But despite his lifestyle, Shane regularly said he was “glad to be alive” and “grateful to wake up”, said wife Victoria.
      Shane’s wife Victoria announced the tragic passing of The Pogues starCredit: Social Media Collect
      Shane’s pal Johnny Depp was there to celebrate MacGowan’s 60th birthday and Lifetime Award from President HigginsCredit: � www.splashnews.com More

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      in health and weelbeing

      If The Festive Season Stresses You Out, Try These Psychologist-Backed Coping Strategies

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      It’s the end of the year and that means summer holidays, late nights, family gatherings — you know the drill. And it can all feel pretty overwhelming, right? Know first, that you’re not alone. Per Harvard Medical School, 62% of survey respondents felt somewhat stressed or experienced elevated stress levels over the festive season.

      Noa Belling, somatic psychologist and best-selling author of The Mindful Body has simple, smart strategies to help you make it through festive season stress, emotionally and physically unscathed.

      Scenario: The Office Party

      You feel: Overwhelmed. 

      It’s loud. It’s crowded. You’re tired and overwhelmed. Belling suggests you go for a brief mindful walk. “The movement can be calming and will help you reconnect with yourself. This works because when you drop attention down into your body and away from your thoughts of being overwhelmed, you ground and centre yourself,” she explains.

      As you walk, take a few deep breaths and let go of thoughts of the party and people. Massage any tense areas in your body and do a few stretches to loosen up. “Dropping attention into our bodies in a supportive, nurturing kind of way can promote feel-good hormones to help you feel more comfortable. It can also free your brain to think more clearly,” says Noa.

      READ MORE: It’s Official: Stress Makes Us Crave Junk Food

      Scenario: A Family Gathering

      You feel: Defensive.

      Family gatherings can be stressful, especially when there’s unresolved tension, but remember compassion: to yourself and your family. “Pause to use self-supportive touch, such as placing a hand or even just a couple of fingers on your chest or over your heart. This can be a tangible reminder of compassion that you can direct as you choose. Assisted by the release of oxytocin through touch, which ignites feelings of nurturing and care, you can be reminded to take care of yourself. You might even feel inclined to extend kindness and care to others too because oxytocin also inspires this,” explains Belling.

      Scenario: You Over-Indulged

      You feel: Guilty.

      There’s food everywhere!? It’s hard not to overindulge. And if you did, you need to let the feelings of guilt and shame go. “Feelings of shame, self-criticism, inadequacy and guilt can have the same effect on us as trauma. They can cause us to freeze up inside. This can make us really anxious or we can succumb to feeling down, helpless and hopeless. The effect on our brains is to cut us off from our ability to see a bigger picture and to access higher-level thinking like rationality, creativity and insight,” says Belling.

      Basically, you start to feel stuck when you dwell on the negative. Best way to get past this? Exercise. “Moving our bodies gets oxygen and blood flowing to wake up and energise body and mind,” says Belling. “Make time for a walk, run, swim, cycle, yoga class or whatever you prefer. This can build your sense of personal strength with a boost of feel-good motivation. Reaching out to someone who cares for support and to talk some sense into you can also help.”

      READ MORE: 10 Best Essential Oils To Help Relieve Anxiety and Stress

      Scenario: There’s Activity Overload

      You feel: Exhausted.

      With festive season stress, you might feel run down and out of touch with yourself from all the socialising and attending to others’ needs. To combat this, take some time out for yourself. “Focus on doing something you love and something your body needs, whether that’s activity or rest,” says Belling. “Make a priority of going to the gym, a yoga class, reading in your favourite quiet place, meditating, gardening, being creative in your own way or whatever feeds you.” More

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      in entertainment and celebrities

      I gave myself three choices after killing my friend in drink-driving crash – two options involved my own death

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      IRISH comedian Stevo Timothy said he gave himself three choices while recovering in hospital after a drink-driving crash that killed his friend.The 39-year-old killed his friend John Laffey 18 years ago after agreeing to drive him home under the influence.
      Stevo Timothy opened up about killing his friend in a drink-driving accident
      Stevo was left paralysed and now uses a wheelchair
      Stevo, who had struggled with anxiety and alcoholism since he was a teenager, drove his motorbike to meet up with some friends for drinks.
      He and John continued on into the early hours of the morning after the others had left and as they took off on the bike Stevo lost control and crashed.
      The Galway native later woke up in hospital with two broken collar bones and unable to feel anything from the chest down.
      He previously described finding out about John’s death: “I felt like absolute crap. I felt like I didn’t want to live.

      “I felt like at that time if I was physically able to walk or to run I would have ended it.”
      Looking back on the tragic accident and coping with the outcome, Stevo said he gave himself three choices for his future.
      He said: “An accident like that really changes your perspective on life and possibly making the worst decisions you can in your life.
      “Like when you’re sitting up in the National Rehab Hospital and you’re paralysed from the chest down and you’re naked and a man is showering you, that will really hep you reevaluate the decisions you’ve made in your life.
      Most read in Celebrity
      “And I came up with three – one was to kill myself, the other one was to drink myself to death and the third one was to try and redeem myself.
      “So I’m here to do that.”
      Speaking to a decision he made that ended with the death of his friend, Stevo added: “I hid it and I was ashamed of it, embarrassed by it and I still am obviously but I’m a different person now to the 23-year-old with a drinking issue”.
      The comedian, who is known for his Farmer Michael sketches, is now in a wheelchair and hopes to encourage others not to drink and drive.
      Recalling his day in court after he was found him guilty of death by dangerous driving, Stevo told RTE’s Upfront: “The judge said he’d rather have me out there as a physical example of what not to do.”
      Following his appearance on the show, Stevo shared a sweet selfie with John’s son Thomas Laffey and thanked his followers for their support.
      In a heartfelt message he wrote: “I want to thank you all for the wonderful messages in relation to my appearance on @rteone Upfront last night.
      “We have all made mistakes in life. Mine just happened to lead to devastating results.
      “We are always one stupid decision away from drastically destroying ourselves or the lives of others, and I hope that speaking out it will make young lads think twice before following my footsteps.
      “I passed on all your lovely sentiments to the Laffey family, and they thank you for the support.”
      You’re Not Alone
      If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can freephone the Samaritans 24 hours a day for confidential support at 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
      You can also freephone the national Bereavement Support Line run by the HSE and Irish Hospice Foundation at 1800 80 70 77 (Monday-Friday 10am-1pm), and the contact information for a range of mental health supports is available at mentalhealthireland.ie/get-support.
      You can also contact Pieta House on their helpline at 1800 247 247, while people can also text HELP to 51444 to reach a counsellor.

      Stevo with his late friend John’s son Thomas More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Enjoy Your Downtime (Without Feeling Guilty) In 3 Easy Steps

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      If you’re one of those people who leave the office only to grind away when you arrive home, postponing even the simple act of eating — we’re talking to you! We all have permission to relax and do absolutely nothing from time to time, a concept the Italians refer to as il dolce far niente.

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      On a serious note though, believing that taking time out will only leave you more anxious and is therefore a waste of time was linked to less happiness and more depression, anxiety and stress, per a study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Our constant focus on achieving more and more, without ever pausing to smell the roses is actually counterproductive, says Johannesburg clinical psychologist Sandra Papoutsis. “It actually keeps us on a never-ending treadmill of expectations that prevents us from experiencing the present moment,” says Papoutsis.

      READ MORE: Author Rešoketšwe Manenzhe On Pursuing Simplicity For Better Mental Clarity

      Unwinding seems like too much? Remember that not everything needs to have a goal, a bit of a difficult mindset to adopt if you’re a recovering workaholic. You can start by unplugging from email and social media in favour of spending time with those you love, especially when nothing’s (urgent) on the agenda. Or schedule solo time to catch up on reading, TV or organising your closet.

      3 Steps To Help You Enjoy Your Downtime According To An Expert

      Clinical psychologist Sandra Papoutsis recommends following these simple steps

      1. Switch Off

      “Give yourself permission to turn off! It’s pointless taking time out if you allow your thoughts to leave you feeling guilty. Remember that you’re in charge of your thoughts and only you can turn them off.”

      How To: Repeat self-affirming mantras, focus on what you can do now (not the future), take deep breaths, inhale a calming essential oil such as chamomile, clary sage or lavender.

      READ MORE: The Thing About Self-Care Is…

      2. Embrace Your Senses

      “Mindfully bring yourself into the moment; what can you hear, see, smell, taste and feel? This practice will distract you from those intrusive thoughts that drain your energy.”

      How To: Get into the habit of engaging with various scents (freshly brewed coffee, fragrances, flowers etc), savour the flavours of food and drinks, go in for those long affirming hugs or treat yourself to a massage.

      3. Recharge Mindfully

      “Choose activities that fulfil you and feed your senses; indulging the senses facilitates recharge. In essence, dedicate more time to being in the moment!”

      How To: Sit in nature, take a scented bath, listen to music, or analyse the lyrics to your favourite song. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      How Dyslexia Led Me To A Thriving Career In Art

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      Lerato Motau’s art career is testament to the fact that life is never to be measured by what we lack or can’t do. This also happens to be a lesson that she has instilled in her two daughters – one of whom is dyslexic just like her. Things started unfolding when Lerato Motau; an artist who employs paint and embroidery in her work; was in Grade 8. Aged 16, she had just failed Grade 8 for the third time when her mother was called in by the school to inform her that: “Something is wrong with your daughter.” 

      READ MORE: Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

      The school insisted that she consult an educational psychologist. The year was 1990 and such services were few and far in between.

      “My mother took me to Baragwanath Hospital (now Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital) where luckily, they’d soon be having an educational psychologist from the UK consulting for them. “Following a range of tests, the educational psychologist diagnosed me with dyslexia and explained that a remedial school wouldn’t work for my condition,” she recalls.

      Dyslexic as a teen, Lerato’s self-esteem took quite a knock while her anxiety peaked. Confused, she kept asking herself: “How will I navigate the world? What would my peers think of me? How am I going to explain myself?”

      But as the saying goes, nothing beats accepting a situation for what it is. 

      Enter Art

      Lerato’s mom enrolled her at the Johannesburg Art Foundation in Saxonworld, Johannesburg. Here, Lerato realised that while she couldn’t express herself using the written word, she did far better in oral exams and when creating things with her hands. “Art school taught me to speak up and boosted my confidence because I clearly had a talent and could finally do something right. The lecturers were really attentive to students’ needs which made me feel comfortable in class.

      “Making art made me feel talented. I majored in painting. I graduated with a Fine Arts and Teaching Diploma Enrolled in 1994 and later enrolled for a Craft Enterprise qualification at the Craft Council where we were taught how to run our art like a business. In 2005, I did another short course in basic embroidery. In the same year, I attended a handmade felt making workshop which included crocheting and knitting,” she explains.

      In fact, it was during this very workshop where she remembered just how much she loved needlework in primary school and years later, it was beneficial. “In that moment, I remembered that nothing ever happens by chance,” she muses. 

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      Stitching Stories Together

      Lerato started making art in 1996 after being introduced to an art collector by a friend and mentor. With all the skills she had learned, Lerato experimented with textile art, choosing to fuse painting with embroidery. “Every stitch goes through a journey and every artwork tells a unique story,” she says. Lerato has since had two solo exhibitions since the start of her career in 2010 and 2022 respectively. She’s also been commissioned by many corporates to create her unique pieces for display at their offices – among them SAB, Nandos London, ABSA, FNB, Pikitup, BRT Maraisburg bus station, Exxara (previously Eyesizwe), FNB, The Leonardo in Sandton, DBSA (Botswana) and the North West University satellite campus located in the Vaal.

      She also teaches kids basic embroidery and art with the aim that they will grow up knowing that academia is not the only path to success. Her work has also been showcased at international exhibitions – her most recent being at the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, where her gallery Art in the Yard went on her behalf. 

      Overcoming Dyslexia

      “When my first daughter was born, I couldn’t spell nor write her name. When I was younger, my mom would write basic information for me in a diary. Dyslexia affects the most basic things, things that many take for granted,” explains Lerato, adding that she can’t read English, Setswana and Afrikaans but she’s sharp with numbers.

      Lerato still keeps a diary where she writes the basic info that she needs daily – and that makes life easier. For instance, when she has to fill out a form, she’ll write down all the info in her diary and then copy everything across. For work, she makes notes with every piece that she creates and has a friend who writes all her proposals. “When I knew that I’d overcome dyslexia was when she taught her daughters how to read using the sounding out method. When my eldest daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of four, I had long spotted the signs and was determined to help her overcome it early,” she enthuses.

      Her eldest daughter is currently in her second year at university. And unlike in her own case where dyslexia affected her self-esteem, Lerato always urges her daughter to explain dyslexia to those who don’t understand and share her story to inspire others. “I always encourage parents to take teachers’ feedback seriously –  thinking that your child is being victimised may be a waste of the child’s life/time. There are so many resources and professionals who are well equipped to help children co-exist well with dyslexia.”

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      Lessons Learnt

      Where dyslexia is concerned, there are still a lot of myths that need to be demystified. “There are many successful and famous people, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Branson and Tom Cruise amongst others, who have overcome dyslexia. When I tell my story to people who don’t know me, they immediately assume that I’m disabled then turn around and ask how dyslexia works because I seem complete,” she says, adding that she’s learnt to not judge people based on their looks.

      Second to that, Lerato always remembers how far she’s come and has committed to laughing and smiling regularly.

      “I once saw a meme that said, ‘when we laugh, our bodies don’t recognise that there’s nothing funny happening’.” Lastly, she credits her healthy state of mind to therapy. “If it weren’t for therapy, I’d still be angry at the teachers and everyone else who used to make fun of me.” 

      Below is some of the art Lerato created from scratch for the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, which opened on 18 October 2023.

      To buy her art or to organise a private viewing, contact Lerato on Facebook (Lerato Motau) and Instagram (LeratoMotauStudios).  More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

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      Gugu Mfuphi, a financial journalist and host of the award-winning weekday evening show Kaya Biz on Kaya Fm, recently summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, with an all-female group, as part of the #Trek4Mandela and The Imbumba Foundation’s Caring4Girls initiative. The two organisations have partnered to raise funds that go towards addressing the period poverty still experienced by many girls in South Africa and the world over.

      Through #Trek4Mandela, adolescent girls are provided with sanitary towels, puberty education and menstrual hygiene support. Speaking on taking this leap of faith, Gugu says she had to constantly bargain with her fear of not making it back alive by remembering that this was all for a good cause.

      READ MORE: Do This Cardio Workout At Home To Burn Cals And Boost Your Mood

      The Kilimanjaro experience, she says, helped her with many lessons that she will be applying to her career and life in general.

      “So far, a large influence has been my career within financial journalism. The realm that I choose to operate in is within business finance and economics, but it also spreads across the breadth of women empowerment, how youth can get involved, technology and other ancillary sectors. I’d say, crafting a niche for myself, being deliberate about it, my skills competence, constant curiosity and great networks have stood me in good stead,” she reflects.

      A self-confessed fitness enthusiast, one whole swears by high-intensity workouts, Gugu says the organisers encouraged them to maintain a healthy lifestyle ahead of the trip. “Once you’re on the mountain, something as simple as a cold could turn into something more dire. I took lots of ginger shots, primarily to boost my immune system,” says Gugu, who’s always loved hiking and the outdoors.

      Below she shares some of the highlights of the trip, lessons learnt and how she survived it all.

      One Thing I Didn’t Do More Of…

      “…was upper strength training. From a fitness point of view, a lot of us actually admitted that we didn’t focus much on our core, shoulders and back. As a result, we sure felt the pressure of carrying the additional weight of our backpacks for that extended period. Typically when you train on the stairs, you’re there for a few hours with perhaps 8kg weights on your back. On the mountain, however, you’re walking for up to eight hours daily while carrying your luggage throughout. Hard lesson learnt here!”

      Respect The Basics

      “Listen, I’d never appreciated Vaseline as much as I did during the hike. I probably took three tubs of Vaseline with me [chuckles]. Around dusk and on summit night (specifically) there was an icy cold breeze that left a burning sensation on the skin feeling — especially on the the lips and nose. I used it on my hands and face at some point because your ordinary moisturiser just wasn’t cutting it. 

      Sunscreen came in handy on the days when the sun was scorching hot, ginger sweets helped ease the altitude-induced nausea. And how can I forget wet wipes? The dusty and windy conditions meant that we constantly had to wipe ourselves down. Wipes also came in handy during pee breaks in the bush, as well as wiping hands. There’s just no looking cute up there, something I had to quickly accept because I’m a such girly girl [chuckles].”

      Showing Up For Self

      The hike through the rain forest went well, followed by our move from Mandara Camp to Horongo Camp – a 13km distance that took us about eight to 9 hours. This was when altitude sickness started kicking in – we were moving 2100m above sea level to just above 3000m. In as much as we’d taken diamox to aid with the altitude sickness, I still got terribly sick. It started off with a headache. One of the guides said he’d noticed that I’d been a lot quieter than usual. I’d been drinking lots of water, taking ginger sweets and fighting the strong urge to throw up.

      Right after the guide had questioned my silence, I started throwing up and continued for the rest of the afternoon until we arrived at the next camp. I tried eating soup with a bit of rice in it, and it all came back at the lunch table. I basically threw up until my stomach was empty. The nausea pill that the doctor gave me also came back up. At this point, the doctor was worried about my sugar levels. I proceed to hike in my weak state, with the guides and the doctor monitoring me closely. The team was really amazing – they wiped my mouth each time I threw up, carried my bag and handed me my walking stick while urging me to forge ahead slowly.

      READ MORE: A Quick Resistance Band Arm Workout You Can Do At Home

      Meal time was always best

      “The guides and porters really made a great effort of serving us cooked meals, which were surprisingly good. I must admit that I’d gone there with no expectations of having decent food but was always pleasantly surprised at dinner time — everything from pasta dishes to stews. I made a mental note to make a concerted effort to cook more back home and have a greater appreciation for food as well as to remember that what I put in my body ultimately nourishes both my body and soul.”

      Lessons Abound

      “While weak and throwing up, I remember one of the guides saying to me: ‘Time will pass but you need to keep moving’. That’s when I realised that people can help you with everything – they can carry your bags, give you meds, wipe your mouth etc, but unless you put in the effort yourself to do what needs to be done, you’re not going to get anywhere. Even though I wasn’t at my strongest physically, what helped psychologically was one of the guides saying I needed to walk in front. That forced me to recognise that I was leading people and that we needed to get somewhere.

      Pole, pole!

      One of the phrases the guides often repeated to us by the guides was ‘pole, pole‘, meaning take your time. I was reminded that slow progress is still progress and of the power of showing up. I also wasn’t prepared to go out like that, not on the second day. Thankfully, altitude sickness eventually eased its hold on me. Summit night was particularly draining, and in hindsight, I realised that it was due to the altitude. I remember blinking and feeling like it took me forever to blink – the brain was deprived of oxygen because it had been allocated to other parts of the body, mostly the lungs and the legs because they were doing the bulk of the work.

      The oxygen deprivation is what makes people delirious or have a minimised function of the brain. I remember telling one of the guides that I was fine and not out of breath, but just tired. At that point in the hike, the guides spoke to us a lot to ensure that our brains were still functional. Some people start hallucinating or develop pulmonary oedema (water in the lungs) due to oxygen deprivation. I kept thinking: ‘I need to get to the peak of Kilimanjaro’ but had completely forgotten about the descent [chuckles]. No matter how difficult it gets up there, mentally you need to want it for yourself. And the same lesson can be applied to life in general!”

      READ MORE: How One Woman Lost Half Her Bodyweight – And Kept It Off

      Nurturing My Body

      Back at home, Gugu admits to being the type of girl who can easily choose dessert over a meal. In her world, she shares, a slice of cake and a cup of tea make the world a better place. “Perhaps it’s some type of psychological security because that’s how my grandmother, mom, aunts and I used to connect on weekends,” she shares.

      To snack, she loves nuts, which work well as a hiking snack. “Pineapple, grapes and blueberries also top my list of favourite fruit on any day,” she says. Upon returning from Kili, Gugu took some time off before getting back into her wellness routine.

      “I generally work out three to four times a week and swear by high intensity workouts — I’m a burpee, jump squat with a dumbbell kind of girl. And I still do a lot of cardio and endurance training which is what we had to do in preparation for Kilimanjaro,” she says. More

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      These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      by

      From the outside, it looked as if Tenise Hordge, 39, had it all. After spending 18 years climbing the corporate ladder, the engineer had the impressive title, big salary and corner office. But she wasn’t happy.

      After her daughter was born prematurely in 2017, she began to feel adrift at work. Who cares about this title I have? she remembers thinking. It didn’t help her carry her baby to full term. The money was not helping her daughter come home from the hospital sooner. Then came 2020. Hordge was exhausted, in so many ways. “I didn’t want to continue being this person I no longer was,” she says.

      You might call it an identity crisis, but psychologists would describe what Hordge was going through as a crisis of purpose.

      What does that actually mean?

      Purpose is a driving force in your life that connects you to values and ideals bigger than yourself, says psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a WH advisor and the author of Nervous Energy. Some prioritise crushing it in their careers. Excellence is a value, “so the drive to be excellent as a professional can be a purpose,” says Carmichael. But purpose can also take other forms—you may be motivated to devote yourself to religion, create art, or advocate for a social cause.

      “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances.”

      All this may seem a bit abstract, but research shows purposeful living has a real impact on our well-being. Not only are those who move through life with a defined purpose more likely to stay happy in their jobs, but they are also better at keeping up with regular health screenings and less likely to have anxiety and depression. A strong sense of purpose has been linked to greater longevity too.

      It can be good to intentionally rethink and renew your purpose periodically throughout your life. This helps you stay in tune with what’s important to you at different points in time. FYI: Adults are more likely to feel happy with their life if they have a purpose and concrete strategies to carry out that purpose, a study in Frontiers in Psychology found.

      On that note, let us introduce you to a process called “life crafting.” It involves actively reflecting on your life via writing and thinking exercises—then setting goals to make changes so that how you spend your time aligns with what you value most, says Michaéla Schippers, a professor of behaviour and performance management at Rotterdam School of Management at Erasmus University in the Netherlands, who coined the term.

      You’re prompted to take an honest look at your passions, skills and even social life. “For a lot of people, without realising it, they find they are working a certain job or living in a way their parents wanted for them or what they think society demands of them,” says Schippers.

      Life crafting involves actively reflecting on your life—then setting goals to make changes.

      In Hordge’s case, it definitely took time—and a lot of planning—to figure out her next steps. Hordge wanted to help new moms navigate the challenges she faced, especially in breastfeeding. When her daughter was in the NICU, having a lactation consultant made a huge difference. She decided that was what she wanted to do and nailed down the specifics of how to turn it into reality. First, she used her bonus to cover a year’s worth of expenses. She and her husband paid off their car loans and debts. She found a certification program near her family so she could complete her clinical hours and have help with her two children. She found a lawyer and set up an LLC. Hordge now runs her own business helping new moms.

      “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances,” Schippers says. “But what’s really important is that you have to set aside time to focus on it. It’s something you create for yourself. You’re the only one who can do it.”

      The good news is anyone willing to put in the effort can reap the benefits of life crafting. Keep reading for a step-by-step guide with exercises from experts to find your spark, design your future and set a unique and fulfilling vision in motion.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      1. Get to Know Yourself

      The first step is clarifying your values. “My biggest piece of advice is to relearn yourself,” Hordge says. “Once you understand who you are, you’ll know what’s important to you.” The cultural obsession with status or achievement drives many to go after the next pay raise or better title versus something truly meaningful to them. “For high-achieving women and especially women of colour, we’re valued and judged by what we do and not who we are,” says Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, MD, founder of Melanin and Medicine. “That allows people to do all these things because of positive reinforcement from others without asking, ‘Is this what I really want?’”

      Explore Your Values

      Organising your thoughts in writing is key, per research. Ideally, you want to identify a passion that aligns with your values. So, from the two prompts below, pick one that speaks to you and write a short essay to discover where you stand:

      Look to the past. Your past experiences shape you, sure—but they can also teach you a lot about your purpose. “Look back at the moments in your life that have been meaningful to you,” Dr. Uwemedimo says. “That can help you find what brings joy and lead you to where you should put your focus.”

      Look to the future. Think about what kinds of relationships you’d like to have in your private and professional lives and what kind of career you want. Also, become aware of your current habits and skills while reflecting on the ones you adore or want to develop. That’s the first step toward breaking old patterns and building new routines.

      2. Set Goals

      Research shows that goals that are aligned with values are better for overall well-being. So, once you clarify your values, you’re already halfway there. Now give some thought to how you might turn them into action. For Hordge, that meant a career change. But finding your purpose can also mean simply creating space in your life to do more of what brings you meaning. For example, if it’s being a parent, a goal may be to find a way to delegate more tasks so you can spend time with your family.

      Imagine the Alternate Universe…

      Fantasise what your life will look like if you don’t take any actions. This actually motivates you to follow through because you’re confronted with the consequences of doing the opposite. Ask yourself, “What would my future look like five to 10 years down the road if nothing changes?”

      …Then Prioritise

      Write a passage laying out your ideal life. How would you spend your days if there were no limits of any kind? When Schippers started assigning first-year students this exercise, the university saw a 22 percent decrease in dropout rates among those who wrote it. List specific goals that will help you achieve your ideal life, then prioritise them. Identify the stumbling blocks that could get in your way and write down how you might work through them.

      READ MORE: Can Manifesting Really Help You Smash Your Goals?

      3. Open Up

      Finally, announce your plans to the world, Schippers says. Sharing your goals increases accountability and makes it more likely you will achieve them. Post your goals on Instagram, or simply talk through them with your partner or friend.

      It’s also important to start a new conversation with yourself. Life crafting can help you cultivate what’s known as an “internal locus of control.” With it, you believe it’s within your control to shape and affect the outcome and experience you have in life.

      Visualise Your Success

      Once you get the ball rolling, spend a few minutes each day or week picturing yourself living the ideal life you wrote about in your essay. If your goal is to travel the world, you might imagine looking up at the northern lights or chatting with the locals in Rome. Then envision yourself messaging your 2023 self to let her know you’re proud of her. “This can help you feel connected to the person you aspire to be,” Carmichael says. “This way, your aspirational self feels more attainable.”

      This article by Amelia Harnish originally appeared in the March 2023 issue of Women’s Health. More

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      18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      by

      Whatever may be bothering you, mental health books really help. They serve as a roadmap and guide to delving deeper into your psyche and delivering key aha-moment insights that’ll help you shed anxiety, limit people-pleasing or even find your purpose. We’ve gathered mental health books that’ll help. While we’ve grouped them into categories, you’ll find that what works for people-pleasing also helps with setting boundaries or building resilience, for example. Ready to dive into these life-changing reads? Our picks, below.

      For people-pleasers

      Let That Sh*t Go by Nina Purewal and Kate Petriw

      Find peace of mind – no matter what life throws at you – by learning these essential skills when it matters most. Above all, you’ll learn to let things go that just don’t serve you anymore.

      Please Yourself by Emma Reed Turrell

      Keen to get in on not people-pleasing anymore? Transform your life by accepting yourself as you are and not relying on other people’s judgements to bring you joy with this book. Written by psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell, you’ll learn about different types of people-pleasing and how to break out of the loop.

      READ MORE: 4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health Support

      For positive reinforcement

      dear self by Patience Tamarra Davis

      Reassure yourself with this collection of positive affirmations and reminders. They’re all centred around self-love, growth and healing.

      Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur

      #1 New York Times bestselling author Rupi b Kaur has hand-picked this collection of work, where she explores loss, trauma, love and heartbreak. Through the collection, you’ll learn to be vulnerable and honest and through that, be able to let go and learn to love.

      READ MORE: The 16 Best Mental Health Podcasts To Help You Cope With Anxiety, Depression, And More

      For inner child work

      How To Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Capple

      If you’re feeling empty inside but aren’t sure why, this could be the book for you. From tackling addictive behaviours to feeling extra sensitive, or if you’re rarely experiencing joy or happiness, this book tackles these themes by taking things back to your formative years and looking to unpack what brought you to where you are, through healing. A must-read for anyone.

      How To Do The Work by Nicole LePera

      Popular social media therapist Nicole LePera published a book about healing your inner child and actually digging deep to get the work done. Find insights about self-healing and creating a life that you love through this guide. She also draws on new research surrounding the topic and teaches you to scrap old patterns that keep you stuck.

      READ MORE: 6 Foolproof Ways To Protect Your Mental Health At Work

      For assertiveness

      Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

      If you’re tired of letting people walk all over you, this book is an excellent guide to setting up healthy boundaries that you can stick to. Since it was first published, it’s helped millions of people discover the importance of understanding their limitations so they can live more fully. A must-read.

      The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumikake Koga

      You might not relate to the title much, but hear us out: the Japanese phenomenon challenges the idea that you need to be liked in order to be the truest version of yourself. Over the course of five conversations between a philosopher and a young man, you’ll uncover insights like freeing yourself from trauma and the expectations of others.

      For anxiety

      Unwinding Anxiety by Dr Judson Brewer

      For those of us struggling with anxiety, this book uproots the source of anxiety with brain-based techniques and hacks that are accessible to use. Author Dr Judson Brewer teaches you how to identify and diffuse triggers and embrace mindfulness.

      The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

      This incredibly popular book takes a deep look at trauma and unwinds it to reveal the way it affects your body, brain and psyche. As it turns out, meds and talking aren’t as effective when it comes to treating trauma stored in your body. Here, learn about a new route: including regulating the body through sport, drama, yoga and mindfulness.

      For intrusive thoughts

      Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Jospeh Nguyen

      Go beyond your thoughts and patterns and venture into the truth already known deep inside your soul. Learn about how to break free from negative thought loops and how to create a life of abundance, flow and ease. A book for tapping into your intuition and letting it lead you.

      Obsessive Intrusive Magical Thinking by Marianne Eloise

      Writer and journalist Marianne Eloise talks through her own journey as an obsessive person with intrusive, violent thoughts and fixation on topics. From there, she finds healing through essays that tackle fixation, disorder and neurodivergence – and how to embrace the self.

      READ MORE: Anxiety In The Morning? Why It Happens And What To Do About It, According To A Mental Health Pro

      For building resilience

      Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? By Dr Julie Smith

      Getting through the ups and downs of life can be daunting and this book teaches you exactly how, using secrets from therapy. In short, bite-sized pieces, learn how to tackle the exact situation you’re tackling and forgive yourself with practical solutions we could all use right now.

      The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aron

      Per Aron, highly sensitive people “are often very bright and creative by may suffer from low self-esteem.” Learn how to leverage your unique make-up with these solutions for engaging in a world different from who and what you are. The book offers ways to reframe past events and reframe the way you see yourself.

      For finding your purpose

      The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

      This deeply moving novel delves into the magic of following your dreams. Through the protagonist’s journey, discover the power of leading with your heart, reading the omens along your path and following your dreams.

      Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel

      Looking for something that’s interactive and will help you uncover truths? Look to this book of self-exploration to help you nurture your creativity and self-motivation. The book presents helpful prompts that help you reflect and grow through exploring yourself.

      For mindfulness

      The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

      A seminal text that’s an international bestseller, you’ll learn the power of embracing the present moment for all its worth and how it can create a happier, more mindful life. While the book is not an easy read – go with pen and paper at the ready to jot down your thoughts and answers to prompts – it is a powerful text that can leave you with more answers than you’d thought.

      The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

      Haemin Sunim, a Buddhist monk born in Korea and educated in the United States, offers advice on dealing with life’s setbacks, rest, relationships and more. The book is fuelled by requests Haemin wrote in response to questions on social media and is illustrated with calming images.

      Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More