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      Here’s How To Spot Secret Addictions And Tips To Break The Cycle

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      Imagine a typical “addict.” What comes to mind? Perhaps someone staggering down the street clutching a wine bottle, or maybe someone staying up late, glued to their Instagram feed? More often, it’s the first image that strikes.

      Yet, this portrayal of addiction, focusing on the most extreme cases, misses a broader, more inclusive picture. Addiction isn’t just about illicit substances or gambling; it spans a vast spectrum of behaviours and it’s likely we all harbour some form of addiction.

      Meet The Expert: Talitha Fosh, author of Hooked – Why We Are Addicted and How To Break Free is a qualified psychotherapist specialising in addiction. With personal experience in recovery from alcohol and drug use, and a background in treating various addiction issues, she offers insights into overcoming dependency.

      Addiction goes beyond the substances or activities we traditionally associate with dependency. It involves our reliance on anything external to soothe, escape, or alter our internal state. Whether it’s compulsive online shopping, endlessly scrolling through social media, or skipping meals due to weight concerns, these behaviours can signify deeper issues if they persist and cause harm. In essence, addiction surfaces when we persist with harmful behaviours, breaking promises to ourselves and others in pursuit of a temporary respite from our realities.

      Have you ever found yourself up late, scrolling through Instagram to distract from stress? Felt regret after impulsive shopping during a “retail therapy” session? Lied to friends about your eating habits due to concerns about your appearance? These could be signs of addictive behaviours.

      “Addiction involves a reliance on anything external to soothe, escape, or alter our internal state”

      But don’t worry—you’re not alone. We are all susceptible to addiction. Our brains, still adapting to the rapid developments of modern life, are inherently prone to it. The neural pathways that evolved to reward survival behaviours are now being hijacked by modern stimuli—from binge-watching TV shows to reacting to social media notifications. This hijacking leads to a cycle where the pursuit of instant gratification becomes increasingly compelling.

      Key Signs Of Addiction

      Identifying addiction can be subtle and involves recognising several key signs:

      Inability to Stop: Struggling to take breaks or quit, despite wanting to.

      Feeling Shame: Feeling deeply flawed, fuelling continued addictive behaviours.

      Keeping Secrets: Hiding behaviours or feelings due to guilt or embarrassment.

      Defensiveness: Reacting negatively to others’ concerns, a sign of denial.

      Broken Promises: Failing repeatedly to adhere to self-set limits, like promising to stay off social media but reinstalling an app soon after deleting it.

      Strategies To Break The Cycle

      Recognising these patterns is a courageous first step toward change. Fortunately, our adaptable brains can learn and unlearn habits. Here are strategies to break the cycle of addiction:

      Abstinence: Temporarily abstaining can help reset your brain’s balance. Always consult with a doctor for safe practices.

      Reflection: Understand the real needs behind your actions to find healthier alternatives.

      Seek Support: Turn to friends, family, or support groups.

      Therapy: Professional help can provide deeper insights and strategies.

      Know Your Triggers: Recognise what prompts your behaviours to better avoid them.

      Embrace Feelings: Allowing yourself to experience a range of emotions can uncover underlying needs and growth opportunities.

      Changing deep-seated habits is a gradual process, not an overnight fix. Each step forward is part of a larger journey towards regaining control of your life, a journey that can be challenging but ultimately rewarding.

      More about mental health…

      This article by Talitha Fosh was first published on Women’s Health UK. More

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      Desk Detox: Dubai-based expert on why it’s important to switch off after work

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      Lifeby Team Emirates Woman3 hours ago Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage ClinicsWe are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?Here are a few tips to ease the process:Set clear goalsAsk yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?Be realisticI appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.Let people knowLetting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.Allocate tech-free zonesProtect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!Increase offline activitiesSee if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.Use digital wellbeing toolsDid you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com– For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and InstagramImages: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More

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      Desk Detox: This Dubai-based expert shares why it’s important to switch off after work

      by

      Life

      by Team Emirates Woman
      2 hours ago

      Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage Clinics
      We are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.
      In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.
      Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.

      Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?
      Here are a few tips to ease the process:
      Set clear goals
      Ask yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?
      Be realistic
      I appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.
      Let people know
      Letting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.
      Allocate tech-free zones
      Protect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!
      Increase offline activities
      See if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.
      Use digital wellbeing tools
      Did you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.
      Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!
      You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More

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      Here’s How To Actually Practise Mindfulness And Unlock Inner Peace

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      We’ve got some good news. While you may feel that mindfulness is a a lot to get a handle of, the truth is you already practise mindfulness in other ways all the time. For example, you’re mindful when you need to change lanes, or when you use an oven mitt so you don’t burn yourself.

      So why not try intentionally putting some mindfulness techniques into practice? We’ve got everything you need to know right here in one place so you can click away from this article a whole lot more zen.

      What Is Mindfulness?

      Based on Zen, Vipassanā, and Tibetan meditation techniques, the concept is over 2 500 years old and has been practised over countless generations. It’s the practice of being aware and conscious in the present moment, calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and is used as a technique in therapy. This awareness has opened the door for thousands of pieces of literature on the topic because it works so well.

      3 Books To Read About Mindfulness

      The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

      Wherever You Go by Jon Kabat-Zinn

      The Miracle Of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      What Are The Benefits Of Mindfulness?

      Studies reveal a direct link between mindfulness practices such as meditation, breathwork and yoga, and an array of health benefits.

      Mindfulness Can Lower Your Blood Pressure

      A 2022 study in the Journal of Tehran University Heart Centre found that mindfulness meditation “showed a significant reduction in the mean blood pressure, stress, depression and anxiety scores, as well as a significant improvement in different aspects of quality of life in patients.” Fabulous news!

      It Can Reduce Inflammation

      A 2019 study found that mindfulness meditation helped the brain manage stress – a known inflammation trigger – and therefore could reduce levels of inflammation.

      Mindfulness Can Promote Better Sleep

      A 2018 study found a promising correlation between mindfulness practises and better sleep with less disturbance. Other experts believe it might even help fight insomnia, too.

      It Can Help You Recover Quicker From Stress

      While it’s kinda the whole point for mindfulness to nix stress, it could also help you bounce back from current stressors. That’s likely because mindfulness equips you to better respond to stress, helping you recover from it faster.

      It Can Positively Influence Willpower and Interpersonal Relationships

      Studies have found that when you practise mindfulness, your ability to react to relationship stress is better. Also, your satisfaction in relationships improves.

      It’s Good For Your Immune System

      Physically, mindfulness practices enhance immune functioning and foster greater bodily awareness.

      It Can Shift Your Mindset

      When you practise mindfulness, a few great things happen. “Mindfulness is more than just a practice,” says Cami Barausse, Head of Yoga at Virgin Active. “It’s a whole mindset shift.”

      It Can Give You Emotional Balance And Mental Clarity

      “For many, it has offered a transformative pathway towards mental clarity and emotional balance,” says Barausse.

      It Can Help You Handle Pressure

      “Mindfulness can empower you to navigate through life’s daily pressures with composure, ensuring that you view challenges as transient phases,” Barausse explains.

      It’s Great For Fitness Enthusiasts

      Additionally, mindfulness offers a plethora of performance benefits for sportspeople and fitness enthusiasts. For athletes, the holistic benefits derived from mindfulness practices can be especially pronounced. Personal trainers and coaches often encourage daily mindfulness and meditation to boost their overall performance and recovery.

      READ MORE: How To Turn Those Forgotten Resolutions Into Attainable Goals

      How To Practise Mindfulness

      “Incorporating mindfulness into one’s routine can be a game-changer for anyone looking to elevate their wellness journey,” says Barausse. For her, it can be as simple as incorporating the practice into your everyday life.

      “Dedicate a few minutes each morning, during a break, or before sleep. Find a quiet space, focus on your breathing, and gently acknowledge your thoughts before bringing your attention back to your breath. This simple practice can anchor you in the present, enhancing your day or preparing you for restful sleep.”

      But if you’re not quite ready to be alone with your thoughts, these activities can help you settle into the present moment, too.

      1. Practise Mindfulness With Yoga

      “The social aspect of mindfulness as a group makes it a validating, often profound experience, which many people find spiritually significant,” says Barausse. So head to your local gym to try out a yoga class.

      By focusing on your breathing as you work your way through each pose, you allow yourself to focus only on the present moment – which in itself is an act of mindfulness. Allow other thoughts to melt away and focus only on your breath, each moment, and how it feels.

      Want to get started at home? Try this easy 15 minute yoga flow.

      2. Try Walking Meditation

      If it’s hard to sit in one position while focusing on creating mindfulness, so why not try a meditative walk? During the walk, focus on your breath, the air and objects around you.

      And if you want to level up those walks, why not take on our WH Walking Challenge right here.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      3. Use Journalling

      Nothing forces you to zero in on your emotions quite like flooding the pages of your diary with your thoughts. While you’re writing, you’re forced to focus on the words you’re creating, which creates mindfulness. You can also take note of the texture of the paper, the way the ink flows, and where in your body you’re holding tension.

      Want to get started? Here are 15 wellness journals you can buy right now.

      4. Do Crafts

      Any activity that requires you to use your hands and stay focused on your given task is a gateway to mindfulness. Keep yourself from wondering thoughts by focusing on the task at hand, like perfecting your brushstroke as you paint.

      5. Eat Mindfully

      Not only is this a healthier way to consume food, it also has mood benefits. While chewing, focus on the feel of your food, the way it smells and how it’s filling you up. You’ll be surprised to see you’ll likely eat less, too.

      6. Try An App

      Mindfulness and meditation apps help you settle into the OG meditation practice. They’ll also let you customise things like the voice, listening time and more. Try apps like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer.

      3 Mindfulness Apps To Download

      Headspace app

      Calm app

      Insight Timer More

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      How To Turn Those Forgotten Resolutions Into Attainable Goals

      by

      We can’t think of a better way to remind you that you’re never too late to try again or to attempt new things! So, we’ll borrow the late Aaliyah’s words: “…And if at first you don’t succeed, then dust yourself off and try again.” We know, it’s simpler read/said than done! This should also apply to those New Year’s resolutions you have gotten around to implementing – or that vision board you promised to finalise by the end of January.

      If you’ve long abandoned the New Year’s resolutions you swore you’d pursue in 2024, welcome – there’s many of us here! Research suggests around 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February of the year they are made.

      “Often those well-intentioned proclamations have to do with improving our wellbeing,” says Maya Rutstein, product architect at soSerene, a digital wellbeing platform. According to Forbes research, the most common theme for New Year’s resolutions in 2023 was improving mental health. And for 2024, it was getting fitter. So, before you give up on yourself for another whole year, let’s take a look at how you can reboot those  fitness resolutions into solid goals.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail?

      “To avoid making the same mistakes, we need to look at why our resolutions failed in the first place,” says Rutstein. “For starters, a New Year’s resolution is often a broad statement of intent that’s inspired by the tradition of setting intentions for the new year but lacks any kind of plan when it comes to how we’re going to achieve success – or what success even looks like. It’s hard to achieve a goal when you don’t have a clear roadmap to follow or any way of measuring your progress,” she explains.

      The second reason for failed (read: delayed) resolutions is that they are often made while we are in an idealistic state of mind.

      “So, we end up setting overly ambitious goals that become unrealistic once we’re back in our regular routines. This leads to disappointment and discouragement,” says Rutstein. Other reasons we might fail are lack of support, external pressures such as life changes or stress or simply losing interest.  

      How To Make Goals That Stick

      A good framework for solid goal-setting is the SMART approach. “This is designed to take a vague aspiration and turn it into a goal that can be achieved,” shares Rutstein. SMART is an acronym that stands for: 

      Specific: The goal should clearly define what you want to accomplish. It should answer the who, what, where, when, which and why.

      Measurable: There should be a way to measure your progress. This helps you stay on track and motivated.

      Achievable: The goal should be realistically attainable with the resources, knowledge and time you have available.

      Relevant: The goal should align with your broader life ambitions and values. It’s important that a goal matters to the person setting it. If you’re trying to achieve something just because someone else said you should, your chances of success will be zero to low.

      Time-bound: There should be a clearly defined timeline for the goal. This creates a sense of urgency, which in turn will encourage you to prioritise working towards the goal.

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      How To Rejig Your Resolutions

      To see what the SMART Approach looks like in practice, let’s take a look at the world’s favourite New Year’s resolution for 2024: “I want to get fit”. “Framed in this way, this resolution is broad and vague. It doesn’t outline how the goal will be achieved, nor does it have a measurable or time-bound aspect,” notes Rutstein. “It’s more of a wish than a goal.” 

      Transforming this intention into a SMART goal could look like this, she says: “I aim to jog for 30 minutes, three times a week, after work and increase my distance by 10% each month, aiming for a 5km run in six months.”

      This goal is specific (jogging a certain amount of time and number of days), measurable (30 minutes, three times a week, with a 10% increase in distance monthly), achievable (it starts with a manageable routine and builds gradually; it doesn’t require exercise equipment that you may not own), relevant (aligned with the broader objective of getting fit), and time-bound (there are weekly targets and a six-month milestone). It provides a clear roadmap for what success looks like and how it can be achieved.

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      How To Stick To Your Goals

      Setting a goal is one thing, sticking to it can be quite another. Rutstein says a mix of internal and external motivators can help you stay on track.

      “Intrinsic motivation comes from within – we engage in an activity because we find it inherently fun or satisfying,” explains Rutstein. “In the example of wanting to get fit, choose an activity that’s genuinely fun for you. If you absolutely loathe running, you may want to choose something else, like brisk walking or home workouts.”

      Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, involves external rewards or pressures, she says. “You could enter a 5km race that’s taking place in six months’ time so there’s pressure on you to train. Or you could publish your progress on social media so that you receive the reward of people acknowledging your efforts.”

      Finally, be open to learning and adapting along the journey. “Continuous learning involves seeking out new information and being receptive to changes, while adaptation means adjusting goals and methods as our understanding and circumstances evolve,” says Rutstein.

      For example, you may find that you need to change how you eat to fuel your new running habit, or that running before work is better for your schedule. Together, these principles encourage a flexible and dynamic approach to wellbeing, ensuring that your journey remains relevant and responsive to your changing needs and insights. Now that you have the tools to rejig your goals, here’s to making the rest of 2024 your best year yet! More

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      Art Curator Lerato Bereng-Moji On How Self-Honesty Improved Her Mental Health

      by

      Moving to a new environment in hopes of levelling up your career or life can go either way. Sometimes, it may take longer for the grass to finally be greener on the other side. That was the case for Lerato Bereng-Moji, an art curator, director and co-owner of the Stevenson Gallery, who soon learned that studying and living art were two different concepts.

      The Root Cause

      Right after graduating with a degree in fine arts from Rhodes University, Lerato joined the art scene in Cape Town. It was here where she met her art heroes and cut her teeth working in curatorship. Coming from Maseru in Lesotho, Lerato found both Cape Town and the art scene overwhelming. “Coming to Cape Town, which is kind of a mega art city, everything was a lot to take in,” she muses.

      READ MORE: How To Actually Get Better At Talking To Yourself

      “I was super starstruck when I first arrived. I remember finally meeting someone like Penny Siopis, an honorary professor at the University of Cape Town’s Michaelis School of Fine Art, whose art we’d studied in school.” Still, she found the city a tad intimidating, which took a toll on her mental health. “Cape Town is a very Eurocentric city for starters, and has a very different landscape from many African cities,” she explains.

      “While learning a lot – and I’ll always be grateful for that experience – I also found it incredibly alienating.” Lerato also struggled with resonating with the art in Cape Town.“I found that the predominant voice [in most of the art] was really unfamiliar to me. It was difficult to find my own voice and to figure out who I was, and what I wanted to do creatively in a space that had very little that I could add to my experience.” In this way, Lerato felt not only far from home geographically but conceptually, too.

      The Tides of Change

      Then in late 2010, an opportunity to travel to Joburg for a conference presented itself. At the spur of the moment, Lerato decided not to book a return ticket. “I was offered a return ticket and I kind of impulsively decided to ask for a one-way,” she recalls. She didn’t know much about Joburg at first, but grew to love it. “I really enjoyed the energy and hustle of the city and most people here are migrant labourers like myself,” she points out.

      READ MORE: Fall Asleep Faster With These 7 Hacks For Better Sleep

      Lerato started hustling to find work in the Joburg art scene, while enjoying the new Afrocentric space that spoke to her. “You immediately encounter Joburg with a punch in your face and I appreciated the honesty of the city,” she shares. Not only that, but Joburg is only a mere four-hour drive to her home country.

      In late 2013, Lerato also completed a Masters thesis, centred on Lesotho, which was met with great appreciation. “I called it Conversations at Morija. The first iteration happened in 2013, and again in 2015 and 2017,” she says. Another was held in October this 2023 around Lesotho’s Independence Day, and will centre on her recent exhibition and book How to Make a Country.

      “I now understand that the only way to make it, or to make something of myself in the world, is if I’m entirely honest,” she muses. And that’s a liberating lesson that she’s since carried into all aspects of her life!

      Parting Shot

      2010…The year Lerato learnt that Joburg was exactly what her mental health needed.

      READ MORE: TV/Radio Presenter Rorisang Thandekiso On The Moments That Defined Her Path Forever

      Best Lesson…“So often, we try to fit ourselves into the moulds that are presented as what has already been, but we’re not here to occupy spaces of what’s already begun.”

      11…The approximate number of art exhibitions Lerato has curated in her career. More

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      Could Bed Rotting Be The Answer To Your Self-Care Struggles?

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      New Age, TikTok wellness trends will have you believe that everything your parents taught you about waking up early daily and making your bed is as irrelevant and outdated as a feature phone. Take for instance the latest fad: bed rotting (the tag has garnered more than 2 billion views on TikTok)!

      Ever had those weekend episodes where your eyes are wide awake (yay, new day!), but your body tells you that it doesn’t feel like leaving the bed. So, you end up eating, reading, catching on the latest season of Love Is Blind, taking calls, mindlessly browsing the rabbit hole that is the ‘net – all from comfort of your bed! Yep, you may have done this a couple of times already but thanks to GenZers redefining life as we’ve always known it via TikTok, the trend now has a phrase. What you call being consciously unproductive your grandmother may call pure laziness – but however you see it, let’s delve deeper into what ‘bed rotting’ a.k.a. ‘much-deserved rest’ entails – and how to do it right!

      READ MORE: 5 Reasons This Mauritius Holiday Is A Wellness Dream

      What You Do In Bed Matters

      Granting yourself a lazy day every once in a while is purely warranted and is no new concept. However, equally important is knowing when bed rotting is totally healthy and when it’s feeding into your existing mental health issues. “If, for instance, you’re already struggling with basic day-to-day functions and you’d rather sleep than face certain emotions head-on, sleeping or spending more time in bed could signal depression and other mood disorders,” explains counselling psychologist Selloane Molalogi-Makau, adding that if you’re constantly feeling lethargic and feel safer spending time in bed than anywhere else, perhaps it’s time to seek professional help.

      If, however, there is nothing alarming about your behaviour and you function just as well when you’re not cooped up in bed, Molalogi-Makau, suggests setting time limits to how much time you’re going to spend ‘bed rotting’ could be a good idea. For instance, are you going to use that time catching up on to-do list items that you didn’t get to in the week or are you immersed in a book whose storyline literally transports you to another world?

      “Just be careful not to indulge in anything that could upset you, stress you out or make you feel like your bed is safer than being out there in the world,” warns Molalogi-Makau.

      A February 2023 study by the University of Bath found that “long-term inactivity significantly increases blood sugar levels even if you reduce your food intake to avoid gaining weight.” While another pilot study published in the National Library of Medicine found that there was a correlation between “sleeping or lying in bed all day and an increased risk of stress and depression, systemic inflammation and other psychological and cardiovascular ailments.”

      READ MORE: Banesa Tseki On How Yoga Gave Her A New Lease On Life

      Bed Rotting Done Right?

      Durban-based psychologist Lindani Mnyaka believes that there’s nothing sinister with bed rotting – provided it’s done once in a blue moon, as opposed to regularly. He does, however, add that nothing adds meaning to our lives such as kicking that duvet cover and being up and about creating a life of meaning. He also highlights the importance of constantly checking in one’s mental health state, so as to avoid sinking into a mood disorder without being aware of it.

      Changing your sleep schedule drastically ultimately does more harm than good for your mental and physical health, says Mnyaka. Per a 2019 Harvard Health report, “too much sleep can lead to too little energy.” Why is that? “Because it appears that any significant deviation from normal sleep patterns can upset the body’s rhythms and increase daytime fatigue,” according to the report. That said, Mnyaka agrees with Molalogi-Makau re: setting a limit to how much time time you’re going to spend in bed, as well as mapping out exactly what you’ll be doing.

      Among some of the activities he suggests are reading, watching a series, colouring in, sewing in buttons (time to own a sewing kit!) or a catch-up video call with a loved one. “It’s also very important to mention that just because a health trend has attracted billions of views doesn’t necessarily make it a healthy solution. People really need to start scrutinising

      READ MORE: 20 Fitness Apps To Kickstart Your Wellness Journey

      A Problematic Title, Maybe?

      Perhaps worth asking is – why is resting referred to as rotting, when the former is actually a good thing (and especially when self-care/resting comes in many forms? What’s self-care to one person may not work for another individual and such is the case with many subjective practises. TikTokers are probably rolling their eyes this very minute and thinking – what’s in a name, anyway? If there’s anything that we should take away from the bed rotting trend, it’s that aimless and unplanned rest – especially in a culture that praises busyness over relaxation – is completely healthy and okay. We’re allowed to take care of ourselves, the best way we know how. More

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      10 Wellness Quotes By Miss SA Natasha Joubert (That We Absolutely Loved!)

      by

      Ever met those people who are a freakin’ big deal but don’t treat themselves as such? This was the case when current Miss SA Natasha Joubert invited me to her home for the Jan/Feb 2024 cover interview. After insisting on brewing me the perfect cup of coffee, the 26-year-old opened up about everything in her new, busy world. From the gruelling Miss SA preps, dealing with negative opinions and managing a tight schedule to not being too anal about diets and swopping intense workouts for low-impact exercises, she left no stone unturned.

      After almost three hours of Natasha laying her soul bare, one important lesson that I took away was that: Our breakthrough or fresh start is always one last push, and sound decision, away. Ahead, some wisdom that we gleaned from one of the most relatable Miss SA’s in the history of the pageant:

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      1. Embracing New Beginnings And Forging Ahead

      “I’ve learnt not to become too complacent. I usually know that it’s time for change when I get to a point where a lot of things no longer excite me or when it feels like I’m settling. Then I know that it’s time to take a risk or introduce changes to my daily routine. Secondly, don’t only try one or twice — if you have to do something four times, then go for it! These days, failure is more common than success. If you study the lives of most successful people, they definitely didn’t get it right the first time around. For instance, my mother studied law when she was 18 and quit. She just recently got her law degree now at 50. The lesson? If there’s something that you genuinely want for yourself, go for it. Even if it means taking a break.”

      2. Fight For Your Dreams

      “In life you’re going to have to fight for the things you need and want. There are very few young people who have parents who can finance their future goals. And I was one of those kids. Saving my pageant winnings and working odd jobs as teenager and post-matric made me financially independent from a young age. At times, I’d have to borrow my mother money because she just couldn’t do it as a single mother. Granted, I grew up quicker than I would’ve liked to. Now that I’m running my own household, I fully understand how my mom struggled on her own after my dad’s passing. My wish is for young people to understand that having parents who fund their education and goals is a privilege that they should never take for granted – not a must!”

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      3. Humble Beginnings

      “When I entered Miss SA in 2020, the judges always advised us to bring our real selves to the competition if we really wanted to win. And I remember thinking: “What does that even mean?” But working with a therapist to heal my childhood traumas has been revolutionary. I wasn’t self-assured the first time around. The thought alone of admitting to being independent at a young age so that I could relieve my mother of any financial pressure, or the debilitating fact that we lost our home after my dad’s passing, would’ve embarrassed me or brought me to tears! But I now tell that story with pride in hopes that it will inspire many other young people to fight for their dreams like I did!” 

      4. What I Know For Sure

      “Now I know that life is about balance. It’s all about knowing when to work hard and when to take time off or when to take things seriously and when not to overthink. I don’t take my Miss SA title too seriously. I dance when I’m at events, I’m definitely not stiff and stuck up. At the end of the day, everyone is literally just like you – they’re human. I want to be known as a Miss SA who gets the job done, but who’s also relatable and showcases the downfalls and the struggles. I don’t mind being an open book because it allows me to go through life freely and without feeling the need to filter certain things out.”

      5. Navigating Negativity

      “I’ve never worked as hard as I did for Miss SA – little knowing that the hard work gets worse after being crowned [chuckles]. There will always be those people who feel that you didn’t deserve an opportunity, but no one can ever tell you that you’re not fit for anything if you give it your all.”

      6. Living With ADHD And Anxiety

      “I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety in my adulthood. It could’ve been earlier but I refused to go to therapy when my dad passed away in my teens. I didn’t want to be on medication chronically so we started on a really low dosage for a few months then eased it out. Eventually, I had to find coping mechanisms that would help me control the symptoms from the inside and exit that space of constantly wanting to be busy – and that’s where life coaching came in. I will always go to therapy for as long as circumstances allow me to.”

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      7. Stop To Smell The Roses

      “I’m in my 20s now and understand that I haven’t reached the pinnacle of who I want to be. I don’t want to be so consumed by life’s responsibilities, or rush through it, without ever stopping to reflect on the next step and carefully mapping out who I want to be. I want to constantly challenge myself to grow after ticking off a goal and to do everything with intention.”

      8. After A Long Day…

      “My favourite form of unwinding is lying on the couch and enjoying a good series, or being with family and friends, walking my dogs, lying in the sun, swimming at my grandparents’ house or sitting in front of the fire with my boyfriend in winter. It’s really the small things that bring me the greatest joy.”

      9. Don’t Demand Too Much Of Your Body

      “Gym for me was always about releasing endorphins. I really can’t promise myself that I’ll commit to exercising as regularly and as intensely as I did before and during the Miss SA preps – and that’s also okay. My work schedule simply doesn’t allow me to. The smaller things like walking my dogs and hiking with my family will have to do for now.”

      10. Local Is Definitely Lekker

      “I love travelling locally — the Western Cape Winelands and the Kruger National Park being firm favourites. I get PTSD from travelling internationally. My bag is always overweight, I always worry about the possibility of missing the flight and then I’m constipated for four days after returning. When I land back in SA, I always think to myself, ‘I don’t know why I paid that much just to want to be back home [chuckles].’

      Catch our detailed interview with Miss South Africa Natasha Joubert in the January/February 2024 issue of Women’s Health on shelves now, or grab yourself a digital copy. More