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      Advice For Your 20s And 30s: What They Don’t Tell You About Ageing

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      It’s rare to find an older woman who doesn’t wish they could give their younger self some advice. With age comes adaptation, lessons and a good dose of resilience. So why not tap into those who have lived it – consider this a page from a thick-ass adulting textbook. We asked three women, all with varying qualifications and experiences on the joys of ageing. Below, some lessons for women in their 20s and 30s as they look to the future. One thing’s for sure: so many things get better with age!

      READ MORE: Actress Temi Otedola On Why She Prefers A Simple Wellness Routine

      Advice #1: Let Go Of Self-imposed Limitations

      The forties for Palesa Boka have been about fully owning and embracing who she is, sans any societal limitations. In the process, she’s decided to show up the best way she knows how. As many of us already know, growing older is always a daunting thought or that arduous but necessary task we avoid, until you actually turn the page! AGE: 44

      I turned 40 in 2019 and oh boy what an unpredictable ride it has been! No one warned me about the self-assuredness that comes with this age! The constant taking stock of all facets of my life, and the self-growth that comes as a result, are just some of the things I wouldn’t trade in for anything. Then there’s the ‘I chooseme’ that comes with this age! I’m learning to prioritise myself and my needs despite the urgency of others’requests. I’d like to believe that I’m a late bloomer. A lot of changes started taking place later in my life. Our 40s aren’t about trying to fit in, I’ve learned. It’s as though our bodies and souls fight back any forced effort placed on them to conform, be likeable or to tone down.

      “I can confidently say that I have finally met my truest self at this age. I’m letting go of self-imposed limitations and embracing the fact that I’m right where I need to be – well, on most days.”

      It’s also the best time for me spiritually, physically, emotionally and sexually. I’m more confident in my skin. I honestly couldn’t give two hoots about what anyone thinks of me [chuckles]. My body? This is all I have to work with, so let’s! Mentally? I can only do better and that’s that! Financially? Well, this remains a tricky area but one that I’m working hard at. The sins of my 20s money mistakes are catching up with me. For instance, if I’d bought a house in my 20s, it’d be paid up by now. But all’s not lost!

      PALESA’S BEST ADVICE

      You don’t suddenly wake up one day to find the guilt, shame and past mistakes magically gone, but your mind evolves to see them differently. In a way, this approach is gentler and more solution-driven than self-pity.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit In Your 20s – This Is Your Healthy Routine

      Advice #2: Live For Yourself

      Thami Magele, founder of Leungo Education Learning Circles, a company aimed at preparing future-fit children for their active participation in building a better Africa, is passionate about curating a life that overflows with purpose, love and rich experiences.AGE: 49

      As I edge closer to 50, I find myself sympathising with my own mother more and more. She married her parents, siblings, her husband and her children before marrying herself. As a result, her self-worth was left in their hands, and nothing for herself. My mother’s worst mistakes came from the depth of her love for her children, as well as wanting to honour her parents. Her lowest point was her inability to reconcile her mistakes as courage – she could only recognise them as shameful because her decisions didn’t attract the applause of those people whose opinions she valued the most.

      Now more than ever, I’m sympathetic to how we, parents, can hold onto and do things for the sake of our children – to a point where we are broken and left functionally handicapped. Just because a plan failed, doesn’t mean that you have failed as a parent. Children need their parents whole.

      With that bit of reflection out of the way, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciate the grace I receive daily. I’m not self-made and my life is not in my hands. I do my absolute best daily to indulge in some of my favouritethings. Those include watching the sky at night while sleeping alfresco in nature, swapping playlists with my daughter each morning, solo morning walks in nature and spreading love however and wherever I please.The thought of being in love no longer scares me because I now measure love, first and foremost, by how much of it I give to myself, how I choose the company I keep, the spaces I visit, the activities I spend my time doing and the people I choose to share my life and love with. In fact, my worst fear is not doing what I love. My joy and peace are currently my greatest currencies!

      “Whatever fears used to plague and contain me are gone. My life is richer right now! I no longer fear losing assets. “

      THAMI’S BEST ADVICE

      Identify and invest in the things, spaces and people that always bring you peace, joy and fulfilment – instead of those that leave you feeling depleted or questioning yourself. Remember that the societaldefinition of success is informed by an inferiority complex, maintained by power and control and continually instills a feeling of inadequacy. The sooner you ditch the societal definition, the better. Lastly, spend the bulk of your time creating pleasing memories and experiences for yourself and those less fortunate.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 30 – And Important Healthy Habits

      Advice #3: Do Things Without Needing To Excel

      After a long spanning career as an education consultant, Vanessa Francis took her expertise to Room To Read, an NGO dedicated to improving children’s literacy and girls’ education across Asia and Africa – a job she describes as purposeful.AGE: 65

      In 2019, just a few days shy of my 60th birthday, our house burnt to the ground. Days went by and I waited for the shock and sadness at how much we’d lost to kick in, but it just never came. We lost some sentimental items such as family photos, but I was most grateful that no life had been lost.

      Naturally, friends and family thought I’d postpone the 60th birthday celebration that was scheduled in Ballito, KZN, a week after the fire, to another time. I think everyone became more surprised when I announced that the celebration would go ahead as planned. This incident confirmed two things for me: that relationships are important. The photos may be gone but I still have many more chances to create and capture happy memories with my loved ones. I also realised just how much resilience I’ve built over the years. We were now careful and minimalistic about what we were accumulating. I mean, I now have a woman cave as a result of this rebuilding and renovation exercise!

      “When we’re younger, we get upset over the smallest things but as we get older, we allow painful experiences to glide past without getting stuck in that sad moment. Ours was a real cleansing by the fire and an opportunity to do things anew.”

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 40 – And Thriving Healthy Tips

      Also, 65 is when I should be slowing down and preparing for retirement. Yet I feel more energised, grounded, centred and eager to learn (which is key for me). I’m also more amped to leave behind a legacy rooted in meaning and purpose through my work as country director for Room To Read. Years ago, I signed up for a drawing class. Now,I take pottery lessons – and I’m so bad at it [chuckles]. The point here is to learn to go with the flow and not listen to my ego’s need for perfection. My perfectionism serves me well at work but in pottery, I get to learn to do things for pure enjoyment without needing to excel.

      VANESSA’S BEST ADVICE

      Whatever’s happening now is for now. Basically, this too shall pass. Your task is to balance yourself and create space for the storm to pass through with ease. More

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      Ahead of the long weekend, learn how to completely detach from work

      by

      Life

      by Team Emirates Woman
      3 hours ago

      Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage Clinics
      We are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.
      In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.
      Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.

      Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?
      Here are a few tips to ease the process:
      Set clear goals
      Ask yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?
      Be realistic
      I appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.
      Let people know
      Letting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.
      Allocate tech-free zones
      Protect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!
      Increase offline activities
      See if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.
      Use digital wellbeing tools
      Did you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.
      Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!
      You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More

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      Here’s How To Spot Secret Addictions And Tips To Break The Cycle

      by

      Imagine a typical “addict.” What comes to mind? Perhaps someone staggering down the street clutching a wine bottle, or maybe someone staying up late, glued to their Instagram feed? More often, it’s the first image that strikes.

      Yet, this portrayal of addiction, focusing on the most extreme cases, misses a broader, more inclusive picture. Addiction isn’t just about illicit substances or gambling; it spans a vast spectrum of behaviours and it’s likely we all harbour some form of addiction.

      Meet The Expert: Talitha Fosh, author of Hooked – Why We Are Addicted and How To Break Free is a qualified psychotherapist specialising in addiction. With personal experience in recovery from alcohol and drug use, and a background in treating various addiction issues, she offers insights into overcoming dependency.

      Addiction goes beyond the substances or activities we traditionally associate with dependency. It involves our reliance on anything external to soothe, escape, or alter our internal state. Whether it’s compulsive online shopping, endlessly scrolling through social media, or skipping meals due to weight concerns, these behaviours can signify deeper issues if they persist and cause harm. In essence, addiction surfaces when we persist with harmful behaviours, breaking promises to ourselves and others in pursuit of a temporary respite from our realities.

      Have you ever found yourself up late, scrolling through Instagram to distract from stress? Felt regret after impulsive shopping during a “retail therapy” session? Lied to friends about your eating habits due to concerns about your appearance? These could be signs of addictive behaviours.

      “Addiction involves a reliance on anything external to soothe, escape, or alter our internal state”

      But don’t worry—you’re not alone. We are all susceptible to addiction. Our brains, still adapting to the rapid developments of modern life, are inherently prone to it. The neural pathways that evolved to reward survival behaviours are now being hijacked by modern stimuli—from binge-watching TV shows to reacting to social media notifications. This hijacking leads to a cycle where the pursuit of instant gratification becomes increasingly compelling.

      Key Signs Of Addiction

      Identifying addiction can be subtle and involves recognising several key signs:

      Inability to Stop: Struggling to take breaks or quit, despite wanting to.

      Feeling Shame: Feeling deeply flawed, fuelling continued addictive behaviours.

      Keeping Secrets: Hiding behaviours or feelings due to guilt or embarrassment.

      Defensiveness: Reacting negatively to others’ concerns, a sign of denial.

      Broken Promises: Failing repeatedly to adhere to self-set limits, like promising to stay off social media but reinstalling an app soon after deleting it.

      Strategies To Break The Cycle

      Recognising these patterns is a courageous first step toward change. Fortunately, our adaptable brains can learn and unlearn habits. Here are strategies to break the cycle of addiction:

      Abstinence: Temporarily abstaining can help reset your brain’s balance. Always consult with a doctor for safe practices.

      Reflection: Understand the real needs behind your actions to find healthier alternatives.

      Seek Support: Turn to friends, family, or support groups.

      Therapy: Professional help can provide deeper insights and strategies.

      Know Your Triggers: Recognise what prompts your behaviours to better avoid them.

      Embrace Feelings: Allowing yourself to experience a range of emotions can uncover underlying needs and growth opportunities.

      Changing deep-seated habits is a gradual process, not an overnight fix. Each step forward is part of a larger journey towards regaining control of your life, a journey that can be challenging but ultimately rewarding.

      More about mental health…

      This article by Talitha Fosh was first published on Women’s Health UK. More

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      Desk Detox: Dubai-based expert on why it’s important to switch off after work

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      Lifeby Team Emirates Woman3 hours ago Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage ClinicsWe are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?Here are a few tips to ease the process:Set clear goalsAsk yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?Be realisticI appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.Let people knowLetting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.Allocate tech-free zonesProtect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!Increase offline activitiesSee if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.Use digital wellbeing toolsDid you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com– For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and InstagramImages: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More

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      Desk Detox: This Dubai-based expert shares why it’s important to switch off after work

      by

      Life

      by Team Emirates Woman
      2 hours ago

      Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage Clinics
      We are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.
      In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.
      Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.

      Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?
      Here are a few tips to ease the process:
      Set clear goals
      Ask yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?
      Be realistic
      I appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.
      Let people know
      Letting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.
      Allocate tech-free zones
      Protect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!
      Increase offline activities
      See if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.
      Use digital wellbeing tools
      Did you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.
      Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!
      You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More

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      Here’s How To Actually Practise Mindfulness And Unlock Inner Peace

      by

      We’ve got some good news. While you may feel that mindfulness is a a lot to get a handle of, the truth is you already practise mindfulness in other ways all the time. For example, you’re mindful when you need to change lanes, or when you use an oven mitt so you don’t burn yourself.

      So why not try intentionally putting some mindfulness techniques into practice? We’ve got everything you need to know right here in one place so you can click away from this article a whole lot more zen.

      What Is Mindfulness?

      Based on Zen, Vipassanā, and Tibetan meditation techniques, the concept is over 2 500 years old and has been practised over countless generations. It’s the practice of being aware and conscious in the present moment, calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and is used as a technique in therapy. This awareness has opened the door for thousands of pieces of literature on the topic because it works so well.

      3 Books To Read About Mindfulness

      The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

      Wherever You Go by Jon Kabat-Zinn

      The Miracle Of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      What Are The Benefits Of Mindfulness?

      Studies reveal a direct link between mindfulness practices such as meditation, breathwork and yoga, and an array of health benefits.

      Mindfulness Can Lower Your Blood Pressure

      A 2022 study in the Journal of Tehran University Heart Centre found that mindfulness meditation “showed a significant reduction in the mean blood pressure, stress, depression and anxiety scores, as well as a significant improvement in different aspects of quality of life in patients.” Fabulous news!

      It Can Reduce Inflammation

      A 2019 study found that mindfulness meditation helped the brain manage stress – a known inflammation trigger – and therefore could reduce levels of inflammation.

      Mindfulness Can Promote Better Sleep

      A 2018 study found a promising correlation between mindfulness practises and better sleep with less disturbance. Other experts believe it might even help fight insomnia, too.

      It Can Help You Recover Quicker From Stress

      While it’s kinda the whole point for mindfulness to nix stress, it could also help you bounce back from current stressors. That’s likely because mindfulness equips you to better respond to stress, helping you recover from it faster.

      It Can Positively Influence Willpower and Interpersonal Relationships

      Studies have found that when you practise mindfulness, your ability to react to relationship stress is better. Also, your satisfaction in relationships improves.

      It’s Good For Your Immune System

      Physically, mindfulness practices enhance immune functioning and foster greater bodily awareness.

      It Can Shift Your Mindset

      When you practise mindfulness, a few great things happen. “Mindfulness is more than just a practice,” says Cami Barausse, Head of Yoga at Virgin Active. “It’s a whole mindset shift.”

      It Can Give You Emotional Balance And Mental Clarity

      “For many, it has offered a transformative pathway towards mental clarity and emotional balance,” says Barausse.

      It Can Help You Handle Pressure

      “Mindfulness can empower you to navigate through life’s daily pressures with composure, ensuring that you view challenges as transient phases,” Barausse explains.

      It’s Great For Fitness Enthusiasts

      Additionally, mindfulness offers a plethora of performance benefits for sportspeople and fitness enthusiasts. For athletes, the holistic benefits derived from mindfulness practices can be especially pronounced. Personal trainers and coaches often encourage daily mindfulness and meditation to boost their overall performance and recovery.

      READ MORE: How To Turn Those Forgotten Resolutions Into Attainable Goals

      How To Practise Mindfulness

      “Incorporating mindfulness into one’s routine can be a game-changer for anyone looking to elevate their wellness journey,” says Barausse. For her, it can be as simple as incorporating the practice into your everyday life.

      “Dedicate a few minutes each morning, during a break, or before sleep. Find a quiet space, focus on your breathing, and gently acknowledge your thoughts before bringing your attention back to your breath. This simple practice can anchor you in the present, enhancing your day or preparing you for restful sleep.”

      But if you’re not quite ready to be alone with your thoughts, these activities can help you settle into the present moment, too.

      1. Practise Mindfulness With Yoga

      “The social aspect of mindfulness as a group makes it a validating, often profound experience, which many people find spiritually significant,” says Barausse. So head to your local gym to try out a yoga class.

      By focusing on your breathing as you work your way through each pose, you allow yourself to focus only on the present moment – which in itself is an act of mindfulness. Allow other thoughts to melt away and focus only on your breath, each moment, and how it feels.

      Want to get started at home? Try this easy 15 minute yoga flow.

      2. Try Walking Meditation

      If it’s hard to sit in one position while focusing on creating mindfulness, so why not try a meditative walk? During the walk, focus on your breath, the air and objects around you.

      And if you want to level up those walks, why not take on our WH Walking Challenge right here.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      3. Use Journalling

      Nothing forces you to zero in on your emotions quite like flooding the pages of your diary with your thoughts. While you’re writing, you’re forced to focus on the words you’re creating, which creates mindfulness. You can also take note of the texture of the paper, the way the ink flows, and where in your body you’re holding tension.

      Want to get started? Here are 15 wellness journals you can buy right now.

      4. Do Crafts

      Any activity that requires you to use your hands and stay focused on your given task is a gateway to mindfulness. Keep yourself from wondering thoughts by focusing on the task at hand, like perfecting your brushstroke as you paint.

      5. Eat Mindfully

      Not only is this a healthier way to consume food, it also has mood benefits. While chewing, focus on the feel of your food, the way it smells and how it’s filling you up. You’ll be surprised to see you’ll likely eat less, too.

      6. Try An App

      Mindfulness and meditation apps help you settle into the OG meditation practice. They’ll also let you customise things like the voice, listening time and more. Try apps like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer.

      3 Mindfulness Apps To Download

      Headspace app

      Calm app

      Insight Timer More

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      How To Turn Those Forgotten Resolutions Into Attainable Goals

      by

      We can’t think of a better way to remind you that you’re never too late to try again or to attempt new things! So, we’ll borrow the late Aaliyah’s words: “…And if at first you don’t succeed, then dust yourself off and try again.” We know, it’s simpler read/said than done! This should also apply to those New Year’s resolutions you have gotten around to implementing – or that vision board you promised to finalise by the end of January.

      If you’ve long abandoned the New Year’s resolutions you swore you’d pursue in 2024, welcome – there’s many of us here! Research suggests around 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February of the year they are made.

      “Often those well-intentioned proclamations have to do with improving our wellbeing,” says Maya Rutstein, product architect at soSerene, a digital wellbeing platform. According to Forbes research, the most common theme for New Year’s resolutions in 2023 was improving mental health. And for 2024, it was getting fitter. So, before you give up on yourself for another whole year, let’s take a look at how you can reboot those  fitness resolutions into solid goals.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail?

      “To avoid making the same mistakes, we need to look at why our resolutions failed in the first place,” says Rutstein. “For starters, a New Year’s resolution is often a broad statement of intent that’s inspired by the tradition of setting intentions for the new year but lacks any kind of plan when it comes to how we’re going to achieve success – or what success even looks like. It’s hard to achieve a goal when you don’t have a clear roadmap to follow or any way of measuring your progress,” she explains.

      The second reason for failed (read: delayed) resolutions is that they are often made while we are in an idealistic state of mind.

      “So, we end up setting overly ambitious goals that become unrealistic once we’re back in our regular routines. This leads to disappointment and discouragement,” says Rutstein. Other reasons we might fail are lack of support, external pressures such as life changes or stress or simply losing interest.  

      How To Make Goals That Stick

      A good framework for solid goal-setting is the SMART approach. “This is designed to take a vague aspiration and turn it into a goal that can be achieved,” shares Rutstein. SMART is an acronym that stands for: 

      Specific: The goal should clearly define what you want to accomplish. It should answer the who, what, where, when, which and why.

      Measurable: There should be a way to measure your progress. This helps you stay on track and motivated.

      Achievable: The goal should be realistically attainable with the resources, knowledge and time you have available.

      Relevant: The goal should align with your broader life ambitions and values. It’s important that a goal matters to the person setting it. If you’re trying to achieve something just because someone else said you should, your chances of success will be zero to low.

      Time-bound: There should be a clearly defined timeline for the goal. This creates a sense of urgency, which in turn will encourage you to prioritise working towards the goal.

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      How To Rejig Your Resolutions

      To see what the SMART Approach looks like in practice, let’s take a look at the world’s favourite New Year’s resolution for 2024: “I want to get fit”. “Framed in this way, this resolution is broad and vague. It doesn’t outline how the goal will be achieved, nor does it have a measurable or time-bound aspect,” notes Rutstein. “It’s more of a wish than a goal.” 

      Transforming this intention into a SMART goal could look like this, she says: “I aim to jog for 30 minutes, three times a week, after work and increase my distance by 10% each month, aiming for a 5km run in six months.”

      This goal is specific (jogging a certain amount of time and number of days), measurable (30 minutes, three times a week, with a 10% increase in distance monthly), achievable (it starts with a manageable routine and builds gradually; it doesn’t require exercise equipment that you may not own), relevant (aligned with the broader objective of getting fit), and time-bound (there are weekly targets and a six-month milestone). It provides a clear roadmap for what success looks like and how it can be achieved.

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      How To Stick To Your Goals

      Setting a goal is one thing, sticking to it can be quite another. Rutstein says a mix of internal and external motivators can help you stay on track.

      “Intrinsic motivation comes from within – we engage in an activity because we find it inherently fun or satisfying,” explains Rutstein. “In the example of wanting to get fit, choose an activity that’s genuinely fun for you. If you absolutely loathe running, you may want to choose something else, like brisk walking or home workouts.”

      Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, involves external rewards or pressures, she says. “You could enter a 5km race that’s taking place in six months’ time so there’s pressure on you to train. Or you could publish your progress on social media so that you receive the reward of people acknowledging your efforts.”

      Finally, be open to learning and adapting along the journey. “Continuous learning involves seeking out new information and being receptive to changes, while adaptation means adjusting goals and methods as our understanding and circumstances evolve,” says Rutstein.

      For example, you may find that you need to change how you eat to fuel your new running habit, or that running before work is better for your schedule. Together, these principles encourage a flexible and dynamic approach to wellbeing, ensuring that your journey remains relevant and responsive to your changing needs and insights. Now that you have the tools to rejig your goals, here’s to making the rest of 2024 your best year yet! More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Art Curator Lerato Bereng-Moji On How Self-Honesty Improved Her Mental Health

      by

      Moving to a new environment in hopes of levelling up your career or life can go either way. Sometimes, it may take longer for the grass to finally be greener on the other side. That was the case for Lerato Bereng-Moji, an art curator, director and co-owner of the Stevenson Gallery, who soon learned that studying and living art were two different concepts.

      The Root Cause

      Right after graduating with a degree in fine arts from Rhodes University, Lerato joined the art scene in Cape Town. It was here where she met her art heroes and cut her teeth working in curatorship. Coming from Maseru in Lesotho, Lerato found both Cape Town and the art scene overwhelming. “Coming to Cape Town, which is kind of a mega art city, everything was a lot to take in,” she muses.

      READ MORE: How To Actually Get Better At Talking To Yourself

      “I was super starstruck when I first arrived. I remember finally meeting someone like Penny Siopis, an honorary professor at the University of Cape Town’s Michaelis School of Fine Art, whose art we’d studied in school.” Still, she found the city a tad intimidating, which took a toll on her mental health. “Cape Town is a very Eurocentric city for starters, and has a very different landscape from many African cities,” she explains.

      “While learning a lot – and I’ll always be grateful for that experience – I also found it incredibly alienating.” Lerato also struggled with resonating with the art in Cape Town.“I found that the predominant voice [in most of the art] was really unfamiliar to me. It was difficult to find my own voice and to figure out who I was, and what I wanted to do creatively in a space that had very little that I could add to my experience.” In this way, Lerato felt not only far from home geographically but conceptually, too.

      The Tides of Change

      Then in late 2010, an opportunity to travel to Joburg for a conference presented itself. At the spur of the moment, Lerato decided not to book a return ticket. “I was offered a return ticket and I kind of impulsively decided to ask for a one-way,” she recalls. She didn’t know much about Joburg at first, but grew to love it. “I really enjoyed the energy and hustle of the city and most people here are migrant labourers like myself,” she points out.

      READ MORE: Fall Asleep Faster With These 7 Hacks For Better Sleep

      Lerato started hustling to find work in the Joburg art scene, while enjoying the new Afrocentric space that spoke to her. “You immediately encounter Joburg with a punch in your face and I appreciated the honesty of the city,” she shares. Not only that, but Joburg is only a mere four-hour drive to her home country.

      In late 2013, Lerato also completed a Masters thesis, centred on Lesotho, which was met with great appreciation. “I called it Conversations at Morija. The first iteration happened in 2013, and again in 2015 and 2017,” she says. Another was held in October this 2023 around Lesotho’s Independence Day, and will centre on her recent exhibition and book How to Make a Country.

      “I now understand that the only way to make it, or to make something of myself in the world, is if I’m entirely honest,” she muses. And that’s a liberating lesson that she’s since carried into all aspects of her life!

      Parting Shot

      2010…The year Lerato learnt that Joburg was exactly what her mental health needed.

      READ MORE: TV/Radio Presenter Rorisang Thandekiso On The Moments That Defined Her Path Forever

      Best Lesson…“So often, we try to fit ourselves into the moulds that are presented as what has already been, but we’re not here to occupy spaces of what’s already begun.”

      11…The approximate number of art exhibitions Lerato has curated in her career. More