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    Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About Antidepressants – And Depression

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    Sadly, we still live in a time when not everyone understands antidepressants and depression in South Africa. In some cases, people disclosing their mental health issues have been labelled “crazy”, “pretending to be sick” and “not strong enough”. This kind of attitude can lead to patients not seeking help, which can deteriorate their mental health further.It’s a troubling reality in a country where a quarter of South Africans are thought to be depressed. Of those, a majority never receive treatment. Antidepressants are a powerful tool in alleviating the symptoms of depression, anxiety and other mental health conditions, but misconceptions about the meds persist. Per the South African Society of Psychiatrists (SASOP), “the stigma associated with mental illness, as well as the misconception about the benefits and use of antidepressants serve as major barriers to people seeking assistance.”In the interest of breaking the stigma that permeates mental health in South Africa, here are things to know about antidepressants and depression, from SASOP.Nobody chooses to be depressedFirst – and most importantly: depression is not a choice. “It is a common misconception that depression is a condition that can easily be overcome by simply ‘snapping out of it’,” says Dr Gagu Matsebula, specialist psychiatrist and member of SASOP. “However, no one chooses to be depressed. Depression is not a sign of weakness; a result of wallowing in grief or sadness, a lack of positive thinking or self-pity. It is a medical condition that negatively impacts brain function due to biological or environmental factors.”Depression comes in different circumstancesWhile it’s not a disease you can “catch”, there are triggers:Genetics – strong medical evidence shows that genetic factors up the risk of depressive disorders.

    Anxiety – studies show that depression is linked to other mental health disorders and that higher levels of anxiety can, over time, predict higher depression levels.

    Trauma and early adversity – It’s widely acknowledged that traumatic events (including loss, grief, stress and abuse) can lead to depression and PTSD.

    Socio-economic status – evidence shows a link between a lower socio-economic position and mental health issues. A 2019 study of South Africans noted a cycle: “people could get trapped in a vicious cycle in which poor socio-economic conditions lead to depression, which, in turn, can cause further damage to their economic prospects.”READ MORE: More People Are Using Ketamine For Depression – But How Safe Is It?Symptoms of depression can differ“Depression manifests as a persistent feeling of sadness as well as a loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, and it typically lasts for more than two weeks,” explains Dr Matsebula. “It affects thinking, memory, motivation, eating and sleeping patterns, and can lead to substance abuse as a coping mechanism.”Other symptoms of depression include:Prolonged feelings of irritation or restlessness

    Persistently feeling sad and empty

    Poor concentration, memory or decision-making abilities

    Feelings of excessive guilt or low self-worth

    Hopelessness about the future

    Thoughts about dying or suicide

    Disrupted sleep (including insomnia or hypersomnia (oversleeping), or early morning awakening)

    Changes in appetite or weight

    Feeling very tired or low in energy

    Increased usage of alcohol or drugs

    Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain

    Deterioration of social relationshipsMost notably, when you’re depressed (and not just sad), those feelings last most of the day, almost every day and at least for two weeks.Depression looks different for everyoneThe World Health Organisation notes that not one person’s experience of depression is like another’s. Depressive episodes can be mild, moderate or severe; they can occur once or repeatedly; people’s abilities to do things can differ. For example, some people with depression can retain the ability to focus, while others can’t.READ MORE: 4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health SupportHow to get helpIf you suspect you have depression, it’s critical (we underlined it because it’s *that* important) that you seek professional help. Even a GP will be able to assist – they can also prescribe antidepressants. But a good GP will refer you to a psychiatrist and psychologist for specialised care. If you have medical aid, take heart: Prescribed Minimum Benefits mean that with any medical aid scheme (regardless of the plan), you’re able to access a number of mental health resources, like psychiatrist or psychologist sessions – for free.These resources are there for *you*These avenues are accessible and available for you, in any situation. Never feel afraid to reach out.SADAG

    This national organisation has resources, helplines and more for anyone looking to get treatment for depression or anxiety.

    Humanitas

    Humanitas offers counselling services for anyone for free. Your counsellor will be a counselling intern with a degree in either psychology or social work.

    Headroom

    This site is a database with legs. It allows you to access psychologists, counsellors, and social workers and to book therapy sessions.

    How antidepressants workOnce you’ve spoken to a doc or psychiatrist, they may prescribe antidepressants. The technical term is selective serotine reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). You may have heard of some of them: sertraline (Zoloft) or fluoxetine (Prozac).Here’s how they work: “SSRIs work by increasing the levels of serotonin in the brain, a neurotransmitter that carries signals between the brain’s nerve cells, ultimately improving one’s mood,” explains Dr Matsebula. In some people, serotonin can be “dumped” by the body, creating a deficit that causes mood to plummet. SSRIs work to prevent that action. “This medication prevents the reabsorption of serotonin into nerve cells, thereby increasing its availability and improving message transmission. The ultimate goal of antidepressants is to restore the balance of deficiencies of serotonin and other neurotransmitters that may be causing the depressive symptoms.”For many people, it’s a total game-changer, improving energy levels, happiness and contentment. “Some people fear antidepressants, but it is safe to use. There are several types of antidepressants, with different side-effect profiles,” says Dr Matsebula.You might need to change medsBecause of those side effects (and efficacy), it’s totally normal to have to change meds sometimes. Per SASOP, while many individuals respond well to the first prescription of antidepressants, some may need to try several different antidepressants before finding the one that works best for them.This is also why it’s crucial to stay in contact with your doctor. They will be able to take note of your symptoms and any possible side effects and tailor a solution for your body. Regular sessions (every three months) are critical. If your memory sucks or you generally don’t pay attention to your body, keep a journal! Every little thing counts.READ MORE: Many Women Are Battling Depression During Pregnancy. Here’s What To Know, If You’re StrugglingAntidepressants don’t work overnightUnlike headache pills or antibiotics, antidepressants are long-acting treatments, meaning they take a long time to work. We’re talking weeks.“It is crucial to be patient when using antidepressants and to take the medication daily as prescribed by a doctor. It may take several weeks for the medication to take full effect and it is important to continue with the prescription for at least six months to prevent symptoms from recurring. Every person responds differently to antidepressants and some individuals may require long-term usage,” says Dr Matsebula.Also, if you’re feeling better: don’t stop your treatment. It’s not like a cold; if the meds are working, so you should keep taking them. “It is vital not to stop the medication or reduce the dosage independently, even if feeling better. Unlike other medications such as sleeping tablets, antidepressants do not cause physical dependence or addiction. A doctor’s guidance is crucial when increasing or reducing the dosage or ending the treatment,” says Dr Matsebula.Antidepressants don’t “cure” depressionDr Matsebula says it is important to note that depression is treatable through medication to address the underlying biological issues contributing to the condition. The most common treatment approach combines medication with talk therapy (psychotherapy).  Plus, this approach tends to have the best outcome for patients.Talk therapy (chats with a licensed psychologist or counsellor) is highly beneficial in addressing depressive symptoms by exploring, and processing, past and current experiences with a trained professional such as a psychologist. This approach is particularly useful for situational depressive episodes (such as the loss of a loved one or partner conflict) or childhood trauma, as it helps the patient gain clarity and an understanding of the root causes of distress.You don’t have to feel depressed foreverLastly, it’s important to remember that you can get help – and feel better. Remember, seeking professional help is crucial in managing depression effectively, and there are resources available to support you throughout your journey to recovery and living a healthy, fulfilling life.To get help for your friends, family, colleagues, or yourself, please speak to your GP, or contact the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) on 0800 12 13 14, or send an SMS to 32312 and a counsellor will call you back.

    Michelle October

    Michelle is the features editor at WH. She’s immensely curious about the world, passionate about health and wellness and enjoys a good surf when the waves are good. Find her on Instagram here. More

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      More People Are Using Ketamine For Depression – But How Safe Is It?

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      As we focus on mental health this October, it’s important to remember that of the many crises plaguing South Africa, depression is one of them. A 2022 study by Wits highlighted key findings: South Africans suffer higher rates of depression and anxiety than other countries. Only a quarter of those ever receive treatment. And, since treatments are subject to costly long-term psychologist visits or psychiatrist prescriptions, some people are turning to unconventional treatments. Among them, there’s a noted rise in people treating their symptoms with psychedelics. Now, there’s an increase in ketamine use to treat depression in cases where other medication has failed. Amazing, right? Not so much, say experts.Per experts, using ketamine for depression is a revelation (more on this below). However, the misuse as a party drug and the mounting unsupervised use as a treatment for depression is problematic.  “The anaesthetic drug can bring life-saving hope for people suffering treatment-resistant major depression or at severe risk of suicide. But unsupervised use or excessive dosages hold addictive and even lethal risks,” warned the South African Society of Psychiatrists (SASOP) in a recent press release.So… what is ketamine?Ketamine is an anaesthetic, originally used in animals since the 1960s. In humans, it’s been used to treat pain since the 1970s. It’s listed in the World Health Organization’s List of Essential Medicines as an anaesthetic. It’s also registered in South Africa for induction and maintenance of anaesthesia. If you were to break a bone, a doc might use ketamine instead of full anaesthesia.When it’s used recreationally, K produces dissociative sensations and hallucinations. Users report feeling relaxed, dream-like and nauseated. In its newest era, K is a breakthrough treatment for depression, with others claiming it works for other mental health conditions too.How does ketamine help with depression?Ketamine is available for off-label use. This means that regulations allow doctors to use it for purposes other than pain management. Studies have shown that it’s a viable treatment for depression and suicidal urges, especially in cases where other medications haven’t worked.“There is good evidence that ketamine in low doses, administered under controlled conditions with the necessary medical supervision, is an effective treatment for treatment-resistant major depression,” explains SASOP spokesperson, psychiatrist Dr Bavi Vythilingum. “It is also effective in acute cases of suicidal ideation, rapidly reducing the risk of life-threatening thoughts and acts.”How does it work? Image by Maxim Berg on Unsplash

      Per Dr Vythilingum, K improves the production and functioning of the neurotransmitter glutamate. This plays a role in mood, thought patterns and cognition.

      Ketamine has a different mechanism to traditional anti-depressant medications. And, it’s why medical researchers believe it to be at least part of the reason for its effectiveness where other treatments have failed. Unlike conventional antidepressants like SSRIs, which take weeks to work, the effects of ketamine are rapid. It also doesn’t work on the same brain receptors.READ MORE: Why Toxic Positivity Is Harmful And What To Say InsteadHow is ketamine for depression administered?To use ketamine for depression, you’re meant to head to a treatment facility. There, you’d be given a dose via I.V. It takes about 40 to 50 minutes, and there’s extra time to recover afterwards. After the treatment, you’ll need someone to take you home – no driving until after they have had a full night’s sleep. But you’re not A-OK after just one session. The initial treatment takes place in six sessions over two to three weeks. The treating psychiatrist may prescribe maintenance treatment on a case-by-case basis.The dissociative state (the trip) caused by ketamine can produce feelings of a trance-like state or hallucinogenic experience, feelings of an “out-of-body experience”, feelings of unreality, visual and sensory distortions, and euphoria or “a buzz”.“For this reason, it is important that the setting is safe, meaning that it is quiet and private, that treatment is medically supervised, that the patient is not left alone during treatment and recovery, and that the facility is equipped to manage any adverse side effects,” says Dr Vythilingum.While the dissociative side-effects can also be positive in improving depressive symptoms, she said other negative side-effects could include nausea and vomiting, raised blood pressure, respiratory depression (slowed breathing), sedation and unconsciousness.Image by Dima Pechurin on UnsplashBut… ketamine can also be lethal  While the treatment is a game-changer for many, there are significant risks. “Ketamine is a powerful anaesthetic agent. A too-high dose can cause sedation and loss of consciousness and in very high doses, may cause dangerously slow breathing and the risk of death,” explains D Vythilingum. “Even at lower doses, if administration of ketamine is not adequately supervised and the person is not in a safe, controlled setting they may become confused and inadvertently harm themselves. Ketamine is also potentially addictive and open to abuse.”Added to this is the rising number of “independent” clinics offering ketamine treatment for depression and other mental health conditions. SASOP is concerned about these facilities: whether they’re correctly diagnosing patients and using ketamine as the appropriate treatment. The treatment also has to be carefully monitored for harmful side effects.READ MORE: 4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health SupportKetamine’s side effects can be dangerousLong-term use of ketamine at high doses can cause bladder, kidney, liver and stomach pain or toxicity, as well as addiction demanding increasingly higher, life-threatening, doses. Plus, while some claim that ketamine is effective in treating other mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), SASOP cautions that there is limited scientific evidence for this.Image by Alexander Grey on UnsplashHow to stay safe in treatmentIf you choose to pursue ketamine for depression, it’s totally legal. Just make sure you’ve picked a facility that dots its i’s and crosses its t’s.Find specialists“Ketamine for psychiatric treatment must be prescribed by a psychiatrist. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose that depression is treatment-resistant,” explains Dr Vythilingum. “That diagnosis is made following at least two courses of conventional antidepressant medication with no improvement in symptoms.” She also made clear that only a doctor can administer the meds “and both physical and psychological safety are paramount during administration of ketamine.” SASOP advises that the guidelines issued by the South African Society of Anaesthesiologists (SASP) should be adhered to. These guidelines state that the medical doctor administering ketamine must be an anaesthesiologist or registered sedation practitioner who is qualified in advanced cardiac life support and resuscitation.Check the facility  “Ketamine must be administered in a facility equipped for physiological monitoring (blood pressure, pulse rate, oxygen saturation), with medication, equipment and qualified personnel to manage adverse physical or neurological events, including hypertension, cardio-respiratory events, airway management and resuscitation.“The administering clinician or member of the team should also have expertise in mental health and managing patients who may become agitated, anxious or otherwise distressed. A psychiatrist should be available in case of a psychiatric emergency,” Dr Vythilingum said.READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any AgeIt’s not for everyoneKetamine is not considered safe for patients diagnosed with schizophrenia or for those with a history of substance abuse. Dr Vythilingum also cautioned that while there is clear evidence for the off-label use of ketamine in treatment-resistant major depression, more research was needed on the drug’s long-term effects, side effects and safety as a psychiatric treatment.Equip your mind with these reads More

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      “We Need To Have More Open Conversations About Miscarriages, Abortions And Pregnancy”

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      Social psychologist Hilary Davies shares her experience and lays out the need for open conversations about miscarriages, abortions and pregnancy.**Trigger Warning: This personal experience piece discusses sensitive topics such as abortion, miscarriage, pregnancy and grief. Please proceed with caution and take care of yourself while reading this content.**Five uncertain days About a year ago, I found out that I was pregnant. I was not in a stable relationship with the man involved. It was still the early days of starting up my first business. I was not financially stable, and my living situation was not conducive to raising a child. The logical decision was to terminate the pregnancy. But even at that early stage, there was a deep internal desire and instinct to keep this pregnancy. Whilst I was grappling with what felt like an impossible choice, the decision was taken out of my hands. I miscarried. In the space of five days, I found out I was pregnant, registered the impact on my future, experienced the miscarriage and felt the emotional loss. Those five days of turmoil, fear and uncertainty felt like months.  After the initial rawness of my experience wore off, I found myself talking openly about it to friends, family and colleagues. To my surprise, this opened up new layers of conversations on a topic that until then, for me, remained relatively unspoken. It has led me to reflect on how we respond to pregnancies, especially the unplanned ones, and the subsequent miscarriages and terminations that may follow. Once I started peeling back the layers of conversation, I was shocked by the frequency and similarity of this common experience, and the lack of open dialogue we have around them.Miscarriage, by the numbers This isn’t a debate on the moral standing of abortion. In South Africa, abortion is regulated and protected by the Choice On Termination Of Pregnancy Act of 1996. It gives us the freedom to choose based on our own morals and lived experiences. Grounding into the freedom that we are bestowed with this Act, I’m sharing my experience. It’s a small step to normalise conversations about miscarriages, abortion and pregnancy.Globally, the prevalence of miscarriage is estimated at 10-25%. One recent WHO source putting the number at one in four pregnancies. Per the WHO Department of Sexual and Reproductive Health and Research, 30% of all pregnancies end in abortion, either through choice or for medical reasons. In South Africa, 461 000 pregnancies ended in abortion between 2015 and 2019. The official figure, however, is known to be underreported. This is because of social stigma, financial barriers and access issues that result in women seeking abortions that are not recorded in official statistics. Research shows that including unreported and illegal abortions, the total figure could be more than double the official data. Adding to this the miscarriage rate of 20% and the number of births each year – just under one million live births annually?  It can be estimated that up to nearly half a million women each year could experience a miscarriage or abortion in South Africa.READ MORE: No, Women’s Fertility Isn’t Suddenly Doomed At Age 35The power of conversation With these numbers in mind, how do we – both as individuals and as a society – support women in these experiences? I believe in storytelling as one of the intrinsic ways that we seek to connect to each other. Through this, we learn from others’ experiences, normalise our own and form connections and safety with similar experiences. Storytelling is one of the most direct ways we can meet our psychological need for belonging and acceptance. So if topics of miscarriage and abortion remain taboo and unspoken, what is the impact of that on women? How does the experience of pregnancy, miscarriage and abortion shape our emotions, lives and relationships?“Storytelling is one of the most direct ways we can meet our psychological need for belonging and acceptance.”During those turbulent five days, my emotional response was an uncomfortable cocktail of shock, overwhelm, anxiety, vulnerability and fear. My body was processing the sudden and dramatic spike in hormones that occurred from around the time of the first missed period, followed by the sudden and dramatic drop that came after the miscarriage. Physically sore and emotionally exposed, I went into a state of numbness that protected me against the very heightened feelings. In a bid to avoid anything that felt uncomfortable, I threw myself into work. Within ten days, I was on an overseas work project that kept me busy. Through this, I could avoid any feeling of discomfort.Dealing with griefAfter about two months, I slowed down enough to start dealing with what happened to me. Two major things hit me: grief and shame. The loss of a pregnancy can trigger layers of grief – whether it’s planned or not. The pregnancy itself, the longed-for future of a family, the life plan unfolding, and many more. For some women, miscarriages deeply affect their relationship with their bodies and the deep, evolutionary sense of purpose some of us hold linked to motherhood and childbearing. My grief was for something I didn’t even know I wanted. In my mid-thirties, fiercely independent and career-focused, a baby at this stage was almost disruptive. But suddenly a new future unfolded before me that I had never considered with any serious thought. I started to plan and dream – and then just as suddenly as it arrived, it was gone again.  Stages of grief Brené Brown identified three elements of grief in her research. The first is loss: the actual process of losing either a person or thing, as well as the loss of a ‘sense’ such as a sense of normality, a belief about a person, or an understanding. The second element is longing: an involuntary yearning for something. The third element is feeling lost, experienced as a disorientation of ourselves in our physical or emotional world. Things stop making sense the way they did before the loss happened. All three of these were present for me in the months after the loss of my pregnancy.It was only in January this year, with time alone and having taken a break from work, that I was ready to start feeling the grief. Robert A. Neimeyer, a leading researcher in grief, wrote, “A central process in grieving is the attempt to reaffirm or reconstruct a world of meaning that has been challenged by loss.”  The process of reconstructing could only be started when I created space between the acute grief I felt and was ready to start integrating it back into my life.  Part of that reconstructing is in establishing a connection with others through shared storytelling – one of the components that make support groups so impactful in grief healing processes.READ MORE: Here’s How To Actually Practise Mindfulness And Unlock Inner PeaceWhy we need conversations about miscarriages, abortion and pregnancyThe need for connection after a loss is a common response to sadness, as it helps us feel seen and held in compassion. The connection also helps overcome the isolation that accompanied my other major response: shame. Shame is the sense that we, as our unique selves, are flawed or unworthy. It can be triggered by events in our lives where we feel we have fallen short. Shame thrives on secrecy, self-judgement and isolation. We continue to perpetuate the stories that we tell ourselves about our failures or inadequacy. In the context of pregnancies, shame is worsened by the social taboos that still exist around unplanned pregnancies, the judgement around abortions, and the sometimes perceived failure of our bodies during a miscarriage. In my case, I felt irresponsible for getting pregnant outside of a relationship. I felt that I would be judged for the situation I found myself in. I felt ashamed that my body was unable to keep the pregnancy. None of this is logical, but in my own mind, the conversation became a dark spiral. The inability to talk openly about these experiences only worsens them.The remedy to this comes again from connection, from feeling understood and from empathy. The fastest way to eliminate shame is to put it in broad daylight, to expose all of the gremlins that are waiting to catch us.  But to do this, we need to create safe spaces where conversations can be had without judgement that leads to further shame. Through this, I was also able to show myself empathy. Slowly but surely, I rebuilt my trust in myself and my body.Support is keyIt took me three months of running away from the feelings before I could address them. But I was lucky in the support I had around me when I was ready. What became abundantly clear was that rather than dealing with this on my own, I needed to lean on my support, through family and friends, to help me process my feelings and reactions. By sharing my experience, I managed to reframe the self-judgement and self-blame that I’d had with for months. Research by Martin Seligman into resilience factors helps us address this with the three P’s: personalisation, permanence and pervasiveness. Through hearing other’s stories and sharing my own, I recognised that this was not all my fault. It was not a permanent pain that I couldn’t work through. It was not pervasive in all areas of my life.These conversations developed in me a sense of belonging and connection with women that helped me feel safe and accepted. It also helped me accept myself and what had happened, turning the blame into compassion. With that, I was able to give myself a break – literally and figuratively. Easing the pressure on myself and taking some time off to rest and recover from the events was the single most important thing I could do.Connections create healingIt’s taken me a year, a lot of conversations and hours of embodiment practices, but I can now reflect on the events of last year with a gentle sadness and deep acceptance. Despite the loss, I’ve gained invaluable wisdom from it. For starters, I know for the first time that being a mother one day is a deep desire that I hope to be lucky enough to fulfil. My miscarriage has given me clarity on my future that I’ve never had before. Although I don’t plan to start a family in the next few years, the decisions I make now around my business, my health and my lifestyle are already helping me prepare and build that future life.This experience has also given me a newfound respect for a woman’s body, what she is capable of and how she continues to be judged, talked about, misunderstood and misrepresented in our society. In general, our understanding of our own bodies, cycles and needs often falls below par. Education about our cycle, how to work with it and adapt our daily lives to optimise it, is one of the most empowering gifts we can give ourselves.“I felt that I would be judged for the situation I found myself in. I felt ashamed that my body was unable to keep the pregnancy. None of this is logical, but in my own mind, the conversation became a dark spiral. The inability to talk openly about these experiences only worsens them.”Men should join, too The men in our lives also play a key role in how we heal and recover from experiences of pregnancies. We often focus on the women’s experience in these matters, even though they can have a significant impact on the men as well. Creating space for conscious conversations about each person’s experience is a powerful way to process it together, through being vulnerable and present with each other. Successfully navigating these conversations can, as well as help with healing for both, ultimately create a stronger trust and sense of belonging within the relationship.READ MORE: Why Toxic Positivity Is Harmful And What To Say InsteadOpen up Every woman’s experience when it comes to pregnancy, miscarriages and abortions is different. Mine is neither unique nor representative. How we feel, respond and process this depends on a myriad of factors. On reflection though, one thing I can say for certain is that we need to be having more open conversations about these very normal and very common experiences that women have. We need to speak about it so that we can ask for the support that we need – from our loved ones, from work, from our friends. So we challenge the shame and isolation that women face. We need to speak so others feel safe as well. We need to speak about it so that we can tell our own stories, and through that find the sense of belonging and support we need through these challenging times.If you find yourself or a loved one going through this, I encourage you to embrace the vulnerability to be open about the experience. Take time to rest. Be compassionate and gentle. Ask for help. Share your feelings. Lean into the support around you, or seek out the support you need, rather than withdrawing into the pain. Together, through the shared experiences and storytelling of women, we can normalise our experiences to create safety and acceptance, that allows us to heal.

      Hilary Davies

      Hilary Davies is a social psychologist specialising in Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) coaching and consulting. Her focus is on gender equality and organisational transformation. She is passionate about supporting women’s development by addressing the invisible barriers that impact their lived experiences. Hilary is the founder of 328 Women’s Coaching. It’s a programme designed to help women deepen self-awareness and catalyse growth in both their personal and professional lives. For more information, visit www.hedcoaching.com or learn more about coaching at www.328.co.za. More

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      Adult Bullying Often Goes Overlooked—Here’s How To Spot It And Shut It Down

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      When you think of bullying, high school drama might immediately come to mind: Perhaps you picture the girls you thought were your friends passing mean notes about you in class, or you replay the scene where Johnny Lawrence beats up Daniel LaRusso in the O.G. Karate Kid movie. Unfortunately, bullies don’t magically disappear on graduation day—many of them continue these habits through adult bullying.Causes Of BullyingBullies—both as children and adults—feel a need to dominate others for their own personal gain or satisfaction and can cause serious harm to their victims, says Bill Eddy. However, bullying has nothing to do with the victim and everything to do with the bully themselves, as they often have low confidence that causes them to behave this way, says Eddy. Perhaps the bully themself was abused from an early age and consequently, learned that bullying was the best way to handle conflict, he adds.Too much praiseOn the flip side, bullying can also stem from too much positive reinforcement. Someone who was overly praised as a child by their parents and their community “to the point where they think they can get away with injuring others” can easily become a bully, Eddy says. Because they’ve been told they can do no wrong, they might have a “my way or the highway attitude,” and anyone who doesn’t agree with them faces the consequences.Mental illnessAnother cause might be that the bully is genetically predisposed to a mental illness like narcissism, which can cause a lack of empathy, says Eddy. However, there’s a range of how severe the behaviour is. Similarly, those with borderline personality disorder often do have empathy but sometimes experience mood swings and anger that can cause them to bully others. However, just because someone struggles with narcissism or borderline personality disorder doesn’t automatically make them a bully, he adds.Bullying takes many formsBut while bullies may not mature with age, their methods evolve from typical school lunchroom drama. Experts say adult bullying takes many forms, such as unwanted touching, rumour spreading, insulting someone, yelling and online harassment, including sending threatening emails or texts. In fact, the existence of adult bullying and the profound impact it can have on victims is particularly troubling now since cyberbullies and trolls run rampant online, Eddy says.What’s more: Victims of work-related bullying can actually develop health-related issues as a result, according to research in Personality and Individual Differences. Bullying can wreak havoc on a person’s confidence, causing them to suffer from mental and physical problems like anxiety, depression, headaches, gastrointestinal problems and suicidal ideation, says Eddy. Victims are also sometimes driven to concerning behaviours, like binge drinking and eating, and overall, may feel disengaged from their life and the world around them, adds Roberta Fida, who co-wrote the study.While you’re likely bound to run into an adult bully now and again—that’s life—you don’t have to live in fear of mean comments from a frenemy or unfair office politics. Here’s how to identify all the different types of adult bullying and how to handle it in the workplace and beyond.READ MORE: People Pleasing Can Have Some Harmful Mental Health Effects — Experts Say This Is How To StopAdult bullying can take many forms.Adult bullying sometimes looks like outright yelling at someone or physically harming them, which are common behaviours in perpetrators of domestic violence, says Eddy. But it can also be more covert, like leaving someone off an important email thread at work.Here are the five main types of adult bullies:CyberbullyAs the name suggests, a cyberbully creates negative posts about another person or engages in “trolling” or other harmful behaviour online, says Eddy. This type of bully might comment rude things on someone’s post repeatedly, send someone direct messages full of insults, screenshot and share private text messages, or spread intimate photos. However, cyberbullies can also engage in more passive-aggressive behaviours, like leaving someone off a text chain with friends.While it may seem like there are more online trolls than ever in 2024, that’s actually not the case, according to Eddy. It’s just that “the small percent of people who are bullies are much louder and they feel free to bully,” he says. Plus, bullies are especially motivated when they’re anonymous, because they feel they can get away with it—cyberbullying lacks the face-to-face element of IRL bullying, which means people can be bolder online, safely hidden behind their screen.Verbal BullyThis bully uses words to shame, insult and distress their victim. They always have a critique or negative comment to say, sometimes even making snide remarks about your appearance, says Julie Robinson.This is the person who walks into their office meeting saying, “Someone smells in here,” alluding to their victim, she says. Even though the bully isn’t actually saying anything directly, this can still cause the victim to feel self-conscious. “They do this to undermine the confidence of the individual,” she says.Physical BullyThis type of bully uses their physical presence to threaten victims, says Robinson, and they can be extremely dangerous. Their behaviour can show up as physical abuse with a romantic partner, family member, or friend, such as hitting, pushing, hair pulling, or even sexual coercion or assault. But it can also be more subtle, like coming up behind a coworker and touching their shoulders or constantly bumping into someone in the hall on purpose to annoy them, says Robinson.Material BullyThis bully tries to withhold or take something from their victim. Maybe your boss doesn’t pay you on time or a coworker takes your favourite pen, your lunch, or even an idea or client at work, while your roommate steals your clothes or money at home, says Robinson.Passive Aggressive BullyThe passive-aggressive bully can be challenging to spot, as they generally try to stay under the radar, says Robinson. They use underhanded remarks to intimidate victims and break down their confidence. The behaviour may seem innocent to others, but it has malicious intentions, says Robinson. At work, maybe someone comes into the office and makes a comment about how another co-worker always seems to be having so much fun and not working. The passive-aggressive bully can also be the friend who always seems to “forget” to invite you to the group plans or add you to group chats.There are several ways to deal with bullying.VictimIf you are being bullied, hang in there—it can be challenging to deal with, but fortunately, there are many ways to find relief.Go to therapy. Talking to a professional is extremely important for victims because it can help you build your confidence and learn self-care techniques to help fill your cup, says Eddy. Through therapy, victims can also work on strategies to deal with their bully, Robinson adds.Use non-violent communication. By being calm and non-violent with your bully, you decrease the chances that they’ll become defensive. Try “I am” statements: If you have a workplace bully who frequently stands over your desk and makes passive-aggressive comments about whether you’re capable of hitting deadlines, for example, say, “I feel uncomfortable when you stand over my desk and make these comments, and I would like to talk through a solution for this,” Robinson suggests.

      Document the events. “It is important for targets to keep track of what happened and if there are witnesses,” says Fida. This is especially helpful in case you need to file a workplace bullying complaint with your Human Resources (HR) department. The more evidence—like screenshotting text messages or emails to yourself or even typing up notes (and marking the date and time) after interactions—the better position you’ll be in later on to file the complaint, adds Robinson.

      Leave the situation. If you are a victim of domestic violence and/or physical bullying, removing yourself from the situation as soon as possible is critical. That way, you’ll get out before the situation escalates further. If you’re in a toxic work environment that is not being adequately remediated, consider applying to jobs elsewhere, adds Robinson. While, of course, you shouldn’t have to leave a job that makes you happy (outside of these bullying interactions) and want to make a financially-sound decision, keep your mental health in mind and consider how it would feel to have this burden lifted.READ MORE: Here’s How To Actually Practise Mindfulness And Unlock Inner PeaceBystanderBystanders have the most power in bullying situations because they can diffuse what’s happening and provide support to the victim, says Eddy. Some tips from the experts:Speak up. If you witness bullying, pull the bully aside to separate them from the person and ask them if they intended to come off as harsh, says Eddy. Keeping the conversation light rather than accusatory can prevent the situation from getting worse, Eddy says. Additionally, bystanders of workplace harassment can also speak to HR and file a complaint detailing what they saw, says Fida.

      Talk to the victim. If you don’t feel comfortable speaking up in the moment because of work politics, family dynamics, or something else, try reaching out to the victim one-on-one, says Robinson. This can help the person feel supported and less alone, which can ease some of the mental and physical strain of bullying. You can tell them you are sorry that they are being bullied and validate how they are feeling, letting them know you see the behaviour too.

      Document what is happening. While it is important for the victim to record details of their own, any additional information the bystander can provide will only strengthen their complaint. If you are witness to something that made you feel uncomfortable or was out of line, even if you weren’t directly targeted, write down the facts of the event, including what happened and when. If the victim decides to file a complaint, you will be well-equipped to back them up.BullyIf you find yourself harming others physically or emotionally, here are some strategies you can use to find out why and then stop:Seek therapy. The challenging thing about bullies is that they don’t often take accountability or even acknowledge their wrongdoing. Therapy can help them develop these skills, in addition to identifying the root cause of their toxic behaviour and working to correct it, says Eddy.Take a deep breath. Deep breathing can have a bigger impact than you might think—it can help diffuse a situation and bring a person’s nervous system back to centre, says Robinson. If you find that you are very reactive or behaving in a way you don’t like, try to slow down, breathe and then address the situation later when you’re feeling a bit more level-headed, she adds.

      Walk away. If you find yourself engaging in harmful behaviour, remove yourself from the situation, the experts say. While it can be difficult to have the self-awareness to do so, it is an incredibly powerful move that will calm the situation immediately.Unfortunately, adult bullying may always exist, but so do the strategies to shut down this harmful behaviour.Meet the Experts: Bill Eddy, LCSW, is the co-founder of High Conflict Institute and the author of Our New World of Adult Bullies. Roberta Fida, PhD, is a professor at Aston Business School in Birmingham, England. Julie Robinson, PsyD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and president of Las Vegas Therapy Center.This article written by Jacqueline Tempera first appeared on Women’s Health US. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      People Pleasing Can Have Some Harmful Mental Health Effects — Experts Say This Is How To Stop

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      You always show up for others, even when that means overbooking your social calendar. You feel most satisfied putting your partner’s needs first, even when you feel burnt out. You feel an incessant need to pick up the slack at work, even when other co-workers aren’t pulling their weight. You’re exhausted and the worst part? No one even knows.

      Are You A People Pleaser By Definition?

      If this sounds like you, you may have some people-pleasing tendencies. And if you do, you’re not alone in your tendency to be a bit too accommodating. Nearly half of adults (49 percent) self-identified as people-pleasers in a 2022 YouGov poll. Considering society seems to be evenly split between givers and takers, trying to find a happy medium in any relationship can be tricky. Think about it: If there’s one people pleaser in a relationship, they’ll often choose the path of least resistance to keep the other person happy. When two people-pleasers get together, it can create a well-intentioned stalemate of “What do you want to do?” vs. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

      While a healthy relationship is a tango of balancing each person’s desires, “a people pleaser completely stifles their needs and wants, if they even know what they are, and lives their relationships through this very one-sided place,” says Krystal Mazzola Wood. This behaviour is often due to insecurities about their own self-worth, identity and relationships, says Jessica Carbino.

      Meet the Experts: Krystal Mazzola Wood, LMFT, is a certified therapist and the author of Setting Boundaries: 100 Ways to Protect Yourself, Strengthen Your Relationships and Build the Life You Want Starting Now. Jessica Carbino, PhD, is a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble. Lauren Cook, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in California.

      While some key indicators of people-pleasing aren’t inherently negative per se, they can have some negative effects. Ahead, experts break down everything to know about people-pleasing, including five helpful ways to nip it for good.

      Signs Of A People Pleaser

      They go with the flow…to a fault.

      “People pleasers aren’t willing to assert themselves and make their needs known—even if they don’t agree,” says Carbino. “People pleasers kind of have a mindset of ‘I have to do whatever the group wants in order to not compromise the situation, despite what I want.’”

      They’re also less likely to be upfront about what they want in a relationship. So, maybe they agree to go on a hike even though they aren’t outdoorsy, or say yes to a sushi date despite their disdain towards seafood.

      They have a hard time saying no.

      Maintaining an agreeable attitude is super important to people pleasers, says Carbino. They’re inclined to say yes, even if it hinders them, because they often feel guilty if they say no, says Mazzola Wood: “The guilt typically manifests into this idea that if they do say no, then they’re being mean to others.”

      So, next time you feel guilty about being unable to attend two birthday parties on the same night, pause for a sec. “Feel the guilt and shift your relationship with it,” says Mazzola Wood. “Then, take the next actionable steps like setting boundaries.” (More on that later!)

      They always take the blame.

      Instead of playing the blame game, people pleasers will immediately take the fall and issue an apology so they don’t compromise the stability of the relationship, says Carbino. This sign is especially common in friendships—say the non-people pleaser suggests grabbing coffee with you, a people-pleaser, but then they forget about the plans and don’t show up. Rather than acknowledging that it was the other person’s fault that these plans fell through, a people pleaser will apologise for not confirming the plans…even though the coffee date was the other person’s idea.

      They stay in unfulfilling relationships.

      This is often due to a fear of disappointing their partner or making them upset once they start seriously dating someone else, says Lauren Cook. “People pleasers are more afraid of leaving the relationship, even if that may be in their best interest.”

      They forget how to articulate their wants and needs.

      One of the biggest indicators of people pleasing is when someone isn’t able to identify their own wants and needs, says Mazzola Wood. Say, for example, it’s your birthday and because you didn’t want to feel like a burden, you didn’t tell your S.O. to make dinner reservations at your favourite restaurant. You’re torn: You secretly feel upset they didn’t reserve a table, but you try to brush it off to avoid upsetting your S.O.

      They harbour resentment.

      Resentment is something that can build over time and eventually lead to a volcanic explosion of anger, says Cook. This can affect people pleasers, as they love to focus on others’ feelings and will even build you a soapbox to stand on whenever you need to rant. However, sometimes this can create one-sided relationships, resulting in resentment on the people pleaser’s side if they begin to feel like their thoughts and emotions don’t matter, says Mazzola Wood.

      They are consumed with being well-liked.

      While people pleasers hate being the centre of attention, they do feed off external validation and popularity. This is especially true in large families or friend groups, where it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle. However, their need for validation can be at a detriment to their own self-worth.

      “If everybody is raving about someone, that becomes a vicious cycle because it feeds the need of a people pleaser,” says Cook. “They are loved more for what they do than who they are.” Because people pleasers tend to put others’ needs before their own, their own desires often fall by the wayside, preventing them from being truly vulnerable with others.

      They experience a spike in anxious thoughts.

      Does your mind immediately jump to the worst-case scenario? Well, that’s another common sign of people-pleasing. “People pleasers get anxiety about others getting mad at them,” says Cook. “This can lead them to ruminate on things they may have done or said.” Sometimes, a people pleaser will even play out scenarios in their mind in which they try fictionally setting a boundary, but the other person lashes out or cuts them off, adds Cook. This tornado of anxiety can cause someone to spiral.

      READ MORE: 13 Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship Or Friendship — And How To GTFO

      Causes Of A People Pleaser

      Most causes of people-pleasing develop in childhood, where certain traits (like the unrelenting desire to always be the best of the best, whether it’s in school, sports, or amongst your siblings) are applauded or labelled “good.” However, sometimes people-pleasing tendencies can also develop in adulthood via a toxic work environment or unhealthy romantic relationship. The most important thing is being able to identify the root of people-pleasing, so you learn and heal from it:

      Inheriting Performance Anxiety

      A lot of times, families will put pressure on kids to dominate in sports or get straight As in school. While typically exercised in good faith, this behaviour teaches young people pleasers how to perform for others. It can teach someone to believe that “they can’t make mistakes in order to keep others happy,” says Mazzola Wood.

      Lack Of Unconditional Love

      “If love or approval was given based on what someone did in the family versus their inherent being of who they are, that can prompt someone to feel like they have to do more and more to earn someone’s love,” says Cook. Conditional love can also occur in romantic relationships in which a people pleaser may feel as though they have to check all of their partner’s boxes to be worthy of their affection.

      Fear Of Abandonment

      “Abandonment is an emotional wound,” whether it’s experienced at a young age with a parent or as an adult in a romantic relationship, says Mazzola Wood. Individuals who have been neglected in the past will shift the focus onto someone else instead of themselves. They’ll place that person’s needs on a silver platter in hopes of preventing history from repeating itself, says Mazzola Wood.

      Harmful Adult Relationships

      People-pleasing behaviours can be triggered in adulthood, too. For instance, say someone tries to set boundaries with a toxic coworker only for the professional environment to turn sour. That can greatly diminish someone’s self-confidence and ability to use their voice. This situation can cause someone to overthink so much that “they can’t stand up for themselves in fear of being publicly scrutinised,” says Cook.

      READ MORE: 5 Practical Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship

      The Negative Effects Of Being A People Pleaser

      They experience high levels of anxiety.

      “Oftentimes, people pleasers don’t allow themselves the space to celebrate their achievements because they’re too focused on nailing the next big thing,” says Mazzola Wood.

      For instance, maybe they were promoted at work, but the position above them is still open for hire. Instead of going out for a celebratory drink, a people pleaser will stifle their accomplishment and ruminate on how they could’ve done better. This go-go-go energy can spiral into high levels of anxiety, excessive thoughts, pressure to perform and even panic attacks, she says.

      They tend to have one-sided—and unfulfilling—relationships.

      Many love keeping people pleasers around because they make great listeners, but the favour isn’t always returned to them. Because people pleasers often aren’t familiar with expressing their needs or emotions, they may feel like “they are living a life for everyone else and not for themselves,” says Cook. This pattern can lead someone to recluse emotionally and foster deep resentment towards others, which can ultimately manifest into snide remarks, then an all-out argument, and sometimes even break up relationships for good.

      They’re lonely.

      The pressure to feel like you’re well-liked by everyone can sometimes be isolating. It’s as if you’re a blank canvas upon which each person you’re trying to please can paint their own picture of who they want you to be. “You feel like no one truly knows you and that there are other dimensions of you that are unknown,” says Carbino, because you’re always putting on a show for others. Feeling as though you are alone on an island can cause someone to miss out on professional opportunities or trying new hobbies that could lead to new relationships because you’re so unused to not only being yourself but also being accepted for who that person is.

      READ MORE: Here’s How To Spot Secret Addictions And Tips To Break The Cycle

      How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

      Wait 24 hours before agreeing to or turning down a request.

      People pleasers are “yes” people by definition, even if they’re too busy or aren’t particularly interested in the task at hand. So, the next time someone asks for a favour, Cook suggests letting a full 24 hours pass before answering. Not only will you have plenty of time to sleep on the request, but you can also “evaluate whether you’re actually excited about helping out this individual, or just saying yes out of a sense of obligation,” she says.

      In the meantime, identify your own needs, wants and feelings.

      It can be especially challenging for people pleasers to cultivate genuine intimacy with others. “If we don’t share our truest needs, wants, or feelings with someone, then we aren’t being vulnerable or showing up in the relationship,” says Mazzola Wood. In fact, that’s just reinvigorating the pleasing cycle. If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself, you’ll struggle to share a deeper connection with others.

      Use the time you would’ve spent immediately responding to the aforementioned request by prioritising self-exploration through journaling. “Ask yourself what you really think or feel about a person or situation,” says Mazzola Wood. “Determine if a need isn’t being met or if a boundary is being violated and then decide what you need to do to fix that.”

      Start saying no.

      Now that you’ve given yourself time to assess your wants and needs, it’s time to put what you’ve learned about yourself into action. Although saying no may not come naturally to you, it’s one of the most empowering and invigorating ways to squash people-pleasing habits, says Carbino. If someone asks you to cat-sit for five days in a row while they’re on vacation, say something like: “I’d love to help you with that, but I have prior commitments on a few of those days. However, I can help on one of them.” By responding this way, you’re still offering to help, but are ultimately putting your own needs first, she says.

      Plus, saying no to menial tasks like that will show you you’re capable of setting boundaries, says Cook. “You also get to see how the other person reacts—were they trying to take advantage of your kindness, or do they respect your boundaries?” she adds.

      Set boundaries.

      This step is imperative for improving your mental health, the experts say. However, setting boundaries can be difficult for someone who is more concerned with keeping the peace and putting everyone else’s happiness above their own. “Speaking up for yourself is a muscle and it’s going to take some practice for that muscle to grow stronger and more confident,” says Mazzola Wood.

      First, change the way you speak to others by using “I” statements, such as “I feel,” says Mazzola Wood. This way, you’re able to prioritise and express yourself without coming off as accusatory or passive-aggressive. For instance, if your S.O.’s texting style isn’t conducive to your workflow, something along the lines of, “I love that you want to know how my day is going, but work is super busy. What if we have a FaceTime date after work tonight?” This way, you’re setting a clear boundary while also meeting both your and your partner’s needs.

      READ MORE: Why You Need Boundaries ASAP

      Test out being assertive in relationships where you feel secure.

      Being authoritative can sometimes feel overwhelming and foreign to people pleasers. Identify a relationship or two where you feel pretty secure—maybe your mom or childhood best friend—and try being assertive. In these more secure relationships, these people “respect our needs and limits,” Mazzola Wood says. “They want to meet us in the middle.”

      So, if your mom asks you to help her clean the house, run errands and set everything up for a family party, tell her you want to help but can only commit to running a few errands for her. This exercise will help you practice voicing your desires and feel more confident in other relationships where the other party may be quick to get defensive, says Carbino. Setting this simple boundary is a step towards being healthily assertive and minimise those people-pleasing tendencies.

      With the right tools and plenty of practice, you can start to refocus your people-pleasing habits on the person who really matters: yourself.

      This article written by Emily Weaver first appeared on Women’s Health US. More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      5 of the best high intensity workouts to book in Dubai

      by

      Life

      by Sarah Joseph
      16 mins ago

      VIEW GALLERY/ 5 IMAGES
      Want to break a sweat and burn those extra calories? Then High Intensity workouts are the best form of exercise to go the extra mile.
      High-intensity workouts are designed to push your body to its limits by incorporating short bursts of intense activity followed by periods of rest or lower-intensity exercise.
      Overall HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, refers to repeated sets of intervals that are between five seconds and a minute long, with a relatively short rest period.
      The main type of workouts include:
      High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)
      Alternates between high-intensity exercises and short recovery periods.
      Circuit Training
      Combines strength and cardio exercises performed back-to-back with minimal rest.
      HIIT Cycling
      Pedal your way to that heart-pumping rush. HIIT cycling workouts, on the other hand, can make the time fly as you challenge your body and mind with various effort levels, work intervals, and recovery breaks.
      What are the overarching health benefits?
      Improved Cardiovascular Health
      HIIT can help improve the efficiency and strength of your heart. Also, Regular high-intensity workouts can reduce resting blood pressure.
      Enhanced Metabolism
      HIIT boosts your metabolism and keeps it elevated for hours after exercise, helping you burn more calories even at rest. These workouts are effective at reducing body fat.
      Time Efficiency
      HIIT sessions are typically shorter than traditional workouts, making them ideal for busy schedules. Despite the shorter duration, HIIT can provide significant fitness benefits in less time.
      Improved Muscle Tone and Strength
      High-intensity workouts often include resistance training, which helps build and tone muscles. These exercises can improve overall strength and endurance.
      Better Insulin Sensitivity
      HIIT can enhance insulin sensitivity, which helps your muscles use glucose more effectively. Improved insulin sensitivity lowers the risk of type 2 diabetes.
      Enhanced Athletic Performance
      HIIT can increase your maximal oxygen uptake, improving your endurance and performance in other physical activities. Overall, it can improve speed and power.
      Mental Health Benefits
      Intense exercise releases endorphins, which help reduce stress and improve mood. HIIT can improve brain health and cognitive functions such as memory and learning.
      So, if you’re looking to burn those calories, Dubai has a host of venues that work for both beginners and experts.

      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Unsplash @malikshibly More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      Where to try the best high intensity workouts in Dubai

      by

      Life

      by Sarah Joseph
      3 hours ago

      VIEW GALLERY/ 5 IMAGES
      Want to break a sweat and burn those extra calories? Then High Intensity workouts are the best form of exercise to go the extra mile.
      High-intensity workouts are designed to push your body to its limits by incorporating short bursts of intense activity followed by periods of rest or lower-intensity exercise.
      Overall HIIT, or high-intensity interval training, refers to repeated sets of intervals that are between five seconds and a minute long, with a relatively short rest period.
      The main type of workouts include:
      High-Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)
      Alternates between high-intensity exercises and short recovery periods.
      Circuit Training
      Combines strength and cardio exercises performed back-to-back with minimal rest.
      HIIT Cycling
      Pedal your way to that heart-pumping rush. HIIT cycling workouts, on the other hand, can make the time fly as you challenge your body and mind with various effort levels, work intervals, and recovery breaks.
      What are the overarching health benefits?
      Improved Cardiovascular Health
      HIIT can help improve the efficiency and strength of your heart. Also, Regular high-intensity workouts can reduce resting blood pressure.
      Enhanced Metabolism
      HIIT boosts your metabolism and keeps it elevated for hours after exercise, helping you burn more calories even at rest. These workouts are effective at reducing body fat.
      Time Efficiency
      HIIT sessions are typically shorter than traditional workouts, making them ideal for busy schedules. Despite the shorter duration, HIIT can provide significant fitness benefits in less time.
      Improved Muscle Tone and Strength
      High-intensity workouts often include resistance training, which helps build and tone muscles. These exercises can improve overall strength and endurance.
      Better Insulin Sensitivity
      HIIT can enhance insulin sensitivity, which helps your muscles use glucose more effectively. Improved insulin sensitivity lowers the risk of type 2 diabetes.
      Enhanced Athletic Performance
      HIIT can increase your maximal oxygen uptake, improving your endurance and performance in other physical activities. Overall, it can improve speed and power.
      Mental Health Benefits
      Intense exercise releases endorphins, which help reduce stress and improve mood. HIIT can improve brain health and cognitive functions such as memory and learning.
      So, if you’re looking to burn those calories, Dubai has a host of venues that work for both beginners and experts.

      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Unsplash @malikshibly More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Advice For Your 20s And 30s: What They Don’t Tell You About Ageing

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      It’s rare to find an older woman who doesn’t wish they could give their younger self some advice. With age comes adaptation, lessons and a good dose of resilience. So why not tap into those who have lived it – consider this a page from a thick-ass adulting textbook. We asked three women, all with varying qualifications and experiences on the joys of ageing. Below, some lessons for women in their 20s and 30s as they look to the future. One thing’s for sure: so many things get better with age!

      READ MORE: Actress Temi Otedola On Why She Prefers A Simple Wellness Routine

      Advice #1: Let Go Of Self-imposed Limitations

      The forties for Palesa Boka have been about fully owning and embracing who she is, sans any societal limitations. In the process, she’s decided to show up the best way she knows how. As many of us already know, growing older is always a daunting thought or that arduous but necessary task we avoid, until you actually turn the page! AGE: 44

      I turned 40 in 2019 and oh boy what an unpredictable ride it has been! No one warned me about the self-assuredness that comes with this age! The constant taking stock of all facets of my life, and the self-growth that comes as a result, are just some of the things I wouldn’t trade in for anything. Then there’s the ‘I chooseme’ that comes with this age! I’m learning to prioritise myself and my needs despite the urgency of others’requests. I’d like to believe that I’m a late bloomer. A lot of changes started taking place later in my life. Our 40s aren’t about trying to fit in, I’ve learned. It’s as though our bodies and souls fight back any forced effort placed on them to conform, be likeable or to tone down.

      “I can confidently say that I have finally met my truest self at this age. I’m letting go of self-imposed limitations and embracing the fact that I’m right where I need to be – well, on most days.”

      It’s also the best time for me spiritually, physically, emotionally and sexually. I’m more confident in my skin. I honestly couldn’t give two hoots about what anyone thinks of me [chuckles]. My body? This is all I have to work with, so let’s! Mentally? I can only do better and that’s that! Financially? Well, this remains a tricky area but one that I’m working hard at. The sins of my 20s money mistakes are catching up with me. For instance, if I’d bought a house in my 20s, it’d be paid up by now. But all’s not lost!

      PALESA’S BEST ADVICE

      You don’t suddenly wake up one day to find the guilt, shame and past mistakes magically gone, but your mind evolves to see them differently. In a way, this approach is gentler and more solution-driven than self-pity.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit In Your 20s – This Is Your Healthy Routine

      Advice #2: Live For Yourself

      Thami Magele, founder of Leungo Education Learning Circles, a company aimed at preparing future-fit children for their active participation in building a better Africa, is passionate about curating a life that overflows with purpose, love and rich experiences.AGE: 49

      As I edge closer to 50, I find myself sympathising with my own mother more and more. She married her parents, siblings, her husband and her children before marrying herself. As a result, her self-worth was left in their hands, and nothing for herself. My mother’s worst mistakes came from the depth of her love for her children, as well as wanting to honour her parents. Her lowest point was her inability to reconcile her mistakes as courage – she could only recognise them as shameful because her decisions didn’t attract the applause of those people whose opinions she valued the most.

      Now more than ever, I’m sympathetic to how we, parents, can hold onto and do things for the sake of our children – to a point where we are broken and left functionally handicapped. Just because a plan failed, doesn’t mean that you have failed as a parent. Children need their parents whole.

      With that bit of reflection out of the way, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciate the grace I receive daily. I’m not self-made and my life is not in my hands. I do my absolute best daily to indulge in some of my favouritethings. Those include watching the sky at night while sleeping alfresco in nature, swapping playlists with my daughter each morning, solo morning walks in nature and spreading love however and wherever I please.The thought of being in love no longer scares me because I now measure love, first and foremost, by how much of it I give to myself, how I choose the company I keep, the spaces I visit, the activities I spend my time doing and the people I choose to share my life and love with. In fact, my worst fear is not doing what I love. My joy and peace are currently my greatest currencies!

      “Whatever fears used to plague and contain me are gone. My life is richer right now! I no longer fear losing assets. “

      THAMI’S BEST ADVICE

      Identify and invest in the things, spaces and people that always bring you peace, joy and fulfilment – instead of those that leave you feeling depleted or questioning yourself. Remember that the societaldefinition of success is informed by an inferiority complex, maintained by power and control and continually instills a feeling of inadequacy. The sooner you ditch the societal definition, the better. Lastly, spend the bulk of your time creating pleasing memories and experiences for yourself and those less fortunate.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 30 – And Important Healthy Habits

      Advice #3: Do Things Without Needing To Excel

      After a long spanning career as an education consultant, Vanessa Francis took her expertise to Room To Read, an NGO dedicated to improving children’s literacy and girls’ education across Asia and Africa – a job she describes as purposeful.AGE: 65

      In 2019, just a few days shy of my 60th birthday, our house burnt to the ground. Days went by and I waited for the shock and sadness at how much we’d lost to kick in, but it just never came. We lost some sentimental items such as family photos, but I was most grateful that no life had been lost.

      Naturally, friends and family thought I’d postpone the 60th birthday celebration that was scheduled in Ballito, KZN, a week after the fire, to another time. I think everyone became more surprised when I announced that the celebration would go ahead as planned. This incident confirmed two things for me: that relationships are important. The photos may be gone but I still have many more chances to create and capture happy memories with my loved ones. I also realised just how much resilience I’ve built over the years. We were now careful and minimalistic about what we were accumulating. I mean, I now have a woman cave as a result of this rebuilding and renovation exercise!

      “When we’re younger, we get upset over the smallest things but as we get older, we allow painful experiences to glide past without getting stuck in that sad moment. Ours was a real cleansing by the fire and an opportunity to do things anew.”

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 40 – And Thriving Healthy Tips

      Also, 65 is when I should be slowing down and preparing for retirement. Yet I feel more energised, grounded, centred and eager to learn (which is key for me). I’m also more amped to leave behind a legacy rooted in meaning and purpose through my work as country director for Room To Read. Years ago, I signed up for a drawing class. Now,I take pottery lessons – and I’m so bad at it [chuckles]. The point here is to learn to go with the flow and not listen to my ego’s need for perfection. My perfectionism serves me well at work but in pottery, I get to learn to do things for pure enjoyment without needing to excel.

      VANESSA’S BEST ADVICE

      Whatever’s happening now is for now. Basically, this too shall pass. Your task is to balance yourself and create space for the storm to pass through with ease. More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      Ahead of the long weekend, learn how to completely detach from work

      by

      Life

      by Team Emirates Woman
      3 hours ago

      Words by Dr Gurveen Ranger, Clinical Psychologist, Adult Specialist at Sage Clinics
      We are currently living in an era where constant connectivity is the norm.
      In a lifestyle dominated by smartphones, smart watches, tablets, and coupled with the increase in remote working since the pandemic, many of us will find ourselves blurring the boundaries between work and home life.
      Lack of work/life balance can also lead to disturbed sleep, especially if you are checking emails just before bed, and lower our mood. If we are find ourselves unable to ‘switch off’ after work, we are less present in our personal lives, and therefore may not experience as much enjoyment from activities as we once did and our relationships are likely to also suffer.

      Not only does this impact our quality of life, but also has the opposite impact to what we may expect when it comes to how productive and efficient we are. In this article, we will look at why we struggle to disconnect, the consequences of this and most importantly – how do we do a desk detox?
      Here are a few tips to ease the process:
      Set clear goals
      Ask yourself, do I need a desk detox? How much work am I doing outside of hours? Why? Is doing this extra work making me feel any more on top of things? Based on your answer to these questions, set clear goals to work on – e.g., is it reducing screen time? Is it protected work times? Is a conversation with employers needed?
      Be realistic
      I appreciate that for many, it may be unrealistic to expect no work outside of work hours. If this is the case for you (i.e., there are likely serious consequences of not keeping an eye on things) then setting boundaries for how much time you spend working outside of hours can be helpful. E.g., protecting time every couple of hours or so to look at emails, and engaging in other things outside of these times. This can help reduce the constant triggering of ‘threat state’ every few minutes.
      Let people know
      Letting people know when you are contactable vs when you are not can help manage feelings of guilt that may arise when disconnecting. Block out time in your diaries, set “do not disturb’ notifications on when appropriate, and let colleagues know the boundaries about what constitutes emergency contact. This can also be healthy modelling for colleagues and juniors.
      Allocate tech-free zones
      Protect time in your after-work schedule which doesn’t involve technology. If you work from home, is there a space where you work which doesn’t interfere with your daily home space? If not, can you hide away your work equipment when you log off? Out of sight, out of mind!
      Increase offline activities
      See if you can come up with some after work activities that don’t involve technology, thus reducing the pull into constant checking of work-related material. Walks, reading, socializing can all be great ways to enhance quality of life and connect with your value systems outside of the professional sphere.
      Use digital wellbeing tools
      Did you know most smartphones allow you to set limits on how much you use certain apps? You could also put ‘do not disturb’ mode on or turn off notifications when you are doing other things. Another tool many I have worked with find helpful is to remove things like email apps from easy access – they can be hidden in a digital folder on your home screen which means you have more of a chance to break the habitual cycle of opening the app every time you are on your phone – again out of sight out of mind.
      Reminder – this isn’t about being completely tech free or never doing anything for work outside of work time, as let’s be honest that isn’t realistic in today’s world or desirable some industries and roles. Instead, aim for balance – take a step back, protect downtime, use smartphones in psychologically smarter ways to enhance your wellbeing and social relationships. Not only will this likely improve your quality of life, but your productivity and job satisfaction levels too. You could start today, even with something small and see how these transforms over time!
      You can find out more about Dr Gurveen Ranger and the team at Sage Clinics: here. For more information about the services Sage Clinics offers or to book an appointment visit sage-clinics.com
      – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
      Images: Supplied & Feature Image: Instagram @yana.potter.art More