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    15 Resolutions To Make for a Better Relationship in 2023

    I see all you goal-getters out there—you’re setting goals for your career and your finances and you’re journaling affirmations for your mental and physical health. I’m proud of you! So why not set intentions for your love life while you’re at it? A fresh year is a perfect opportunity to think about what you and your partner want the next 12 months of your relationship to look like.
    So whether you want to talk through relationship resolutions together or make individual goals to be a more mindful partner, we are sharing 15 ideas that can help you kick off a whole new year of #relationshipgoals.
    Important note: We have these resolutions broken down into categories (based on how long you’ve been with your partner), but know that all of these resolutions can be helpful to implement at any point in your relationship!

    If you only recently started dating…

    Make your partner laugh more
    We try to be funny and impress on first dates, but after a few dates (when the first date jitters are gone and you’re not as worried about being “fun and cool”), we put less effort into impressing our significant other. However, laughing together makes you feel closer and makes any time you spend together more enjoyable. So this year, instead of always telling your funniest jokes to your coworkers around the water cooler, save some for your partner.

    Build common goals to achieve together
    While you’re busy making your own New Year’s resolutions (better budgeting and eating more greens, here we come!), make sure you clue your partner into what you want out of this year and learn what they want as well. Build common goals together, whether it’s financial (grow your savings) or wellness (put away screens an hour before bed). Making goals for your life together or sharing your personal goals will feel like you’re on a team, and you’ll both feel more supported.

    Try something new
    Whether it’s taking a class, going to a new restaurant, or experimenting in the bedroom, experiencing firsts together sets a great foundation for a relationship and can help keep dates fresh and exciting from the very beginning. But keep in mind that it’s important to try new things solo too. Taking up a new hobby, planning a solo trip, or learning a new skill can give you a chance to focus on yourself and to ensure that you have activities that you enjoy outside of your relationship. If you and your partner both have your own interests that you are genuinely passionate about, you will always have something new to talk about.

    If you’ve been together for a while…

    Be more physically affectionate (in unexpected ways)
    Those of you in LTRs probably can relate to the struggle—after a long time together and through the busyness of life, hand-holding, kissing, and intimacy becomes restricted to routine. Kisses when you say goodbye, hand holding occasionally, and sex is restricted to post-bedtime (and maybe even only specific nights of the week). Bring out the innocent days of your relationship’s youth and make out like a teenager during a random time in the day, hold hands or snuggle when you watch TV on the couch, and give your partner random hugs throughout the day. Physical intimacy immediately corresponds to emotional intimacy, so making the physical a priority (and switching up the routine) will make you feel emotionally closer.

    Change your argument language
    The way you speak has a huge impact on everything from the closeness in your relationship to the way the two of you communicate. When you’re articulating something you’re mad about, always use “I feel” instead of “You did.” Focus on why you felt hurt, instead of what they did to make you feel that way. Say, “I feel like you don’t appreciate all that I do because I worked hard on a dinner that you came home late for,” instead of “You messed up because you’re late.”
    Say “I understand” when making a point, and acknowledge their defense instead of ignoring it or feeling put off (i.e.”I understand you’re under a lot of stress at work, and I’m proud of you for all the extra effort you put in. But sometimes, it makes me feel like I’m on the back burner”). Always remember that the fight should be the two of you against the problem, not the two of you against each other. The goal should be how to avoid the problem in the future, not who was right about the problem in the past.

    Show love with your partner’s love language
    By now, I’m sure you’ve realized that your partner doesn’t exactly feel love the way you show it and might not give love the way you feel it. We call this “love language,” and it is arguably the single most important quality in happy relationships. If you haven’t yet, take the quiz with your significant other to find out if your love languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, or physical touch. Then, identify the ways in which you can act in your partner’s love language on a regular basis, and live more consciously with their love language in mind.

    If you live together…

    Have tech-free time together
    Even if you and your partner are spending plenty of time together, you might be surprised to find how little of it you actually spend truly focused on each other. The prime culprit for these distractions? Our phones. In fact, most of us check our phones 96 times a day, leaving little time to give our loved ones our undivided attention.
    Make an agreement with your partner to put your phones away for at least some of the time that you spend together. Without the distraction of group messages or the temptation to scroll through social media, you will have more time to truly listen to and engage with each other.

    Make sex a priority
    Although you and your partner might have been tearing each other’s clothes off when you first got together, sex tends to become less of a priority as your relationship lengthens—especially when you live together. For many of us, the realities of life get in the way of having the kind of long and loud sex sessions that are the mainstay of many early relationships. But sex can be one of the most important and intimate parts of a relationship and should be treated as such.

    Plan a trip
    If you can make it work in the new year, scheduling a trip could be a game-changer for your relationship. Getting out of your day-to-day routine and spending an extended amount of quality time will make you feel more connected than ever. If an overnight trip isn’t an option for budget, time, or otherwise, try a day trip to a nearby beach, theme park, or landmark. The idea is to spend time together that doesn’t consist of unloading the dishwasher, making a grocery list, or sitting on the couch.

    If you’re engaged…

    Acknowledge the things you appreciate about each other
    Especially when you’re overwhelmed with wedding planning, it can be easy to take your partner for granted. But research from the Gottman Institute and Love Lab at the University of Washington found that one of the best markers of a long-lasting relationship is how often one partner acknowledges when the other does something positive, according to The Atlantic. This theory of the “culture of appreciation” suggests that if you regularly express gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner, you create a positive perspective within your relationship that prevents feelings of contempt from arising later on. It suggests that the perfect formula for a healthy relationship relies on couples having five positive interactions for every negative interaction.
    Although you don’t need to be keeping score, try to be mindful of the kinds of comments that you and your partner exchange. Are they negative as much or more often as they are positive? And how often do you praise or express your appreciation for your partner? Trying to reframe these interactions will help to ensure that you both feel loved and respected and strengthen your relationship.

    Talk about the future
    It’s important to know that you and your partner are heading in the right direction, and talking about the future can be a good way to do this. Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time? How would you like your relationship to develop now and once you’re married? What exciting plans can you make over the next year? Talking about the future not only ensures that you want the same things, a crucial factor in the success of any relationship, but can also ignite your excitement about what lies ahead for you both.

    Plan more dates
    If this one seems like it’s too hard of a goal to set with your busy schedules and with the craziness of wedding planning, you probably just need to reevaluate your definition of “date.” A date should be any time the two of you get quality time alone, whether it’s dinner and a movie or a walk to your local coffee shop in the morning. For the record, it does not mean watching TV before falling asleep or eating dinner while you’re on your phones. Schedule a date and take it seriously—even if you’re tired or short on money, commit to making quality time a priority. This could mean sitting down to a homemade dinner or going on a picnic in the park. Aim for a specific number (once every week or two), and schedule it into your calendars so it can’t be pushed back or forgotten.

    If you’re married…

    Consider therapy
    Even if you don’t have any serious “problems,” an outside, unbiased professional can help you better communicate with each other. This not only avoids more serious problems in the future but will make your communication GREAT instead of just “fine.” However, if you have been struggling with some long-term fights or bigger problems that you’re having trouble solving on your own, a relationship psychologist is the perfect resource to help you work through issues and get your relationship back to a more loving, trusting, or happy place.

    Say “I love you” more
    When do you say “I love you” in your relationships? When you’re hanging up the phone? When you’re going to bed? It’s the same as physical touch—when it becomes routine, it loses some of its special meaning. You could never say “I love you” too much, but it is possible to not say it enough. Make sure to voice it at unexpected times like after they make you dinner, while giving them a hug, or just sending a random text in the day at when they’re at work. Say “I love you” more than you talk about household chores, to-do lists, or fights.

    Forgive and forget
    Anyone in a relationship has been through the cycle—one person does something that bothers the other, there’s a miscommunication, the fight escalates, someone apologizes, and the fight (hopefully) ends. We all also know the feeling of forgiving because you just want the fight to be over or because you don’t know what else to do, but not totally getting over it. We see this in the next fight, when we can’t help but resort to bringing up our partner’s mistakes that caused the last incident. If you’re forgiving your partner, that means you should “forget” it. It means that you’ve worked through it, you’ve seen their perspective, and feel they have seen yours. Your relationship will be better because you understand each other better, so don’t forgive until you feel that way, and don’t bring up past fights or mistakes in new arguments—if you’ve actually forgiven, that means the past issues are understood miscommunications, not problems that need more working through.

    10 Ways to Maintain The Spark in a Relationship More

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    7 Ways To Make the Most of the Week Between Christmas and New Year’s

    If you’re staring at your calendar wondering just what on earth you’ll do during the week between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, I’m here to help you take full advantage of that precious time off. Whether you want to check some things off your to-do list or kick back and take it easy, I’ve rounded up seven activities that I always try to do during this period away from work. Don’t let your hard-earned free time go to waste! Here are some of the best things you can do to make the most of the week between Christmas and New Year’s.

    Catch up with faraway friends and loved ones.
    Given that many people are off work the week between Christmas and New Year’s, this can be a great time to schedule those long overdue coffee dates, happy hours, and everything else you wish you had time for during the rest of the year. I love using this period as a chance to catch up with long-distance loved ones, too. Text your college crew and get some FaceTime dates on the calendar, or take some time to finally call your grandma as you take a leisurely afternoon stroll. As a bonus: If you’ll be spending this period of time alone, chatting with loved ones will help you feel a bit more connected to those who care about you.

    Tackle an organization project.
    New year, new ultra-organized me, am I right? Maybe not, but I do find that taking on an organizing project during my time off (even if it’s a small one) always makes me feel productive and ready to start the new year on the right foot. My hall closet, for example, always reverts to a danger zone no matter how much I try to stay on top of things, so I like to give it a big clean-out once a quarter. Determine one way that you can streamline your life before January rolls around. Maybe that means finally sorting through your expansive collection of beauty products or taking unwanted clothing to a donation center. Trust me, you’ll feel much better after setting aside an hour or two to get organized ahead of the new year!

    Shop post-holiday sales.
    Are those holiday gift cards burning a hole in your wallet already? I’m with you. I love shopping post-Christmas sales to stock up on items I’ve had my eye on all season long. The day after Christmas, for example, is a great time to head to Target and grab heavily discounted holiday decor to tuck away for next year (for years, my mom, sister, and I would do this all together, which was always a blast). Maybe online shopping is more your speed, which makes things even easier. Change into your comfiest clothes and spend a cozy morning scouring the internet for the best deals of the year. Keep an eye out for sales on items you’ll rely upon throughout the year: makeup and skincare products, bedding, travel gear, and more.

    Get closer to that yearly reading goal.
    Whether you aimed to finish 10 different books or you’re well on your way to 100, there’s no time like the week between Christmas and New Year’s to finish your TBR list with a bang. Once you’re done with that last novel, make a list of your top titles of 2022 and share them with fellow book-loving friends. Then pre-order a few reads that you’re excited about for 2023! I love checking my mail to find a novel that I ordered months back; it’s the perfect mini surprise.

    Whip up a new (healthy) recipe.
    After weeks of holiday treats, you might be craving something a little more nutritious. Why not use your free time to try out a new healthy recipe that you’ll be able to replicate throughout the year? I’m always looking for new workday lunches, and by perfecting a recipe now, I’ll be less likely to run to Sweetgreen every time I’m craving kale. One of my favorite places to source new recipes is Pinterest—I like to save a few meal ideas that look good and then pull them up while at the grocery store to ensure I gather all the necessary ingredients.

    Play tourist in your own city.
    How often do you get to stroll around your city on a weekday? Take advantage of your time off work and book tickets to a theater matinee, check out that new museum, or simply admire all the holiday lights one more time before they come down. Even if traveling is off the table during your break from work, pretend to be a tourist in your own city by indulging in activities that you wouldn’t normally do on a weekday. Living in New York City, for example, I’d love to spend a slow December morning at the Met followed by a delicious weekday brunch and a brisk stroll through Central Park.

    Binge-watch a show.
    Who says that every moment of your time off needs to be productive? It certainly doesn’t—maybe all you want to do after a stressful year at work is simply lay back and veg out. So many amazing shows have come out with new seasons recently (like Dead to Me, The Sex Lives of College Girls, and The White Lotus), and if you haven’t gotten a chance to stream them yet… well, now you know what you’re doing for the rest of the week! If the weather outside is particularly dreary, even better! You officially have plenty to do while cooped up indoors.

    7 Ways To Celebrate New Year’s Eve at Home More

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    Here’s What Healthy Women Do Every January To Stick With Their Health Goals All Year

    In theory, I am all about resolutions. As a Capricorn and Type Three Enneagram, I thrive on setting goals and succeeding at whatever I put my mind to. However, after many years of setting resolutions only to look back at the end of the year and be dismayed at my lack of results, I’ve realized it wasn’t the goals I was setting for myself that were the problem. It was the social pressure of setting an often large, unrealistic resolution or two and trying to carry them out all at once. So I say we ditch making resolutions in the traditional sense this year and, instead, try to implement a different approach: making smaller changes we can see through little by little. Ahead, six practices healthy women use every year to set health goals and actually stick with them. 

    1. Schedule smaller goals throughout the year
    Even before the clock strikes midnight, we come across “new year, new you” marketing everywhere we turn. Whether it’s via social media, articles, or commercials, we’re encouraged to become a new person right off the bat. What’s more, there’s a mentality of we’re all in this together, making January the easiest month to stick with your health goals. But healthy women know that in order to set themselves up for success in the long-run, breaking up their goals into smaller micro goals is key.
    Maybe you start by setting one large goal in January and identifying the actionable steps you need to take to achieve it, then set micro goals accordingly. For example, if you want to drink more water, start by increasing your intake by two ounces a week (perhaps with the help of a motivational water bottle), then another two ounces, and so on. The little wins you get every time you improve will be the encouragement you need to make it to the finish line. No matter when you decide to set goals, you can evolve a lot in one, three, or six months, so keep setting goals as you progress throughout the year. 

    2. Categorize your goals
    If you have a long list of health goals and feel overwhelmed by how you will achieve them all, categorizing is a great place to start. We all want to better our health, but it doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes too much too quickly can lead to burnout and defeat. Try categorizing your health goals by physical health, mental health, sleep, nutrition, etc. Then pick one goal from each category to start with, and start slow. By separating your intentions into different categories, it’ll help create balance in your wellness routine. And focusing on one goal at a time can help get you closer to reaching others. For example, improved mental health is likely to give you more energy for exercise and eating a well-balanced meal after a workout can help with muscle recovery. 

    3. Keep a journal
    Keeping yourself accountable to your goals is one of the biggest challenges and why so many resolutions fail. So the healthiest women know that tracking their progress (without shame or pressure) while staying curious about their intention can help them stay motivated when the newness of resolutions wears off. By keeping a progress journal, you’ll have a dedicated place to update and keep track of your successes, giving you clarity on what areas you might need to work on more or what goals you need to adjust. Journaling is also a great way to reflect on your intentions behind the goals you make and whether or not they will actually help you become your highest self. Think of your journal as your sacred space dedicated to your self-improvement—a safe space where you can ask yourself tough questions, push yourself to improve, and look back on weeks, months, or years later to see how far you’ve come. 

    4. Plan monthly check-ins
    Healthy women always treat their goals like monthly check-ups. Sure, you feel empowered about keeping a goal when you first set it, but a month or two goes by, and it’s easy to let it fall by the wayside. By checking in with yourself on your goals and progress once a month, you can assess what is working, what needs to be changed, or if you need to set a new goal entirely. For example, setting the goal of going to a HIIT class twice a week might work great in January, but when summer rolls around and you’re traveling or busy with other activities, that goal may be harder to achieve. And that’s OK. By checking in monthly, you can adjust to your life circumstances and still feel good about your progress.

    5. Set a positive environment
    PSA: Your environment plays a huge role in whether you achieve your goals. So set yourself up for success by eliminating distractions. For starters, survey your home and office and identify anything that could hinder you from sticking with your goals. If you want to cut down on your screen time, try placing your phone away from your bed. That way, you won’t engage in the ever-tempting morning or pre-bedtime scroll. Or if you want to get rid of tech neck, set up your desk with essentials that your body will thank you for.  If you want to meditate every morning, write a sticky note reminder on your bathroom mirror so you don’t forget. Even the healthiest women need a little help in achieving goals, and these little changes in your environment can go a long way.

    10 Habits of Women Who Are Always in Shape More

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    Got Post-Holiday Blues? Here are 7 Things to Do Today To Feel Happy and Excited

    The decorations are coming down, Hallmark Christmas movies have come to a screeching halt, work is going back to its regularly scheduled programming, the last of the figgy pudding is gone, and we’re saying good riddance to 2022. Chances are the high of all the holiday cheer has given way to feelings of loneliness and sadness, AKA the post-holiday blues. While the symptoms of post-holiday blues are short-term, there’s no denying they are very real. Rest assured, they’re normal and you’re in good company. We’re coming down from the intense hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, shindigs, indulgences, and travel and facing the letdown of going back to business as usual. That said, there are things you can start doing today to snap out of the post-season funk. Read on for seven tips on how to feel happy when you’ve got the post-holiday blues. Time to get back in the groove.

    1. Move your body intentionally
    Call it a holiday hangover or a case of the post-fa-la-la-la-la blahs—no matter how you look at it, you’re in an emotional slump and you want out. Your workout routine may have been non-existent amidst the holiday madness, so what better time to shake off those “meh” feelings with a solid sweat sesh than today? When you have obé Fitness and its community at your fingertips, you don’t have to leave the comfort of your own home (who wants to bear the frigid temps?) and you’ve got built-in accountability. Start with one of their Express Classes because 10 minutes is all you need to get those endorphins going. In fact, exercising for just 10 minutes a day can make a difference—and have lasting, measurable effects on your health. What’s more, with 20+ class types and over 10,000 on-demand classes to choose from, there’s a workout for every mood, level, and fitness style. To banish the post-holiday blues once and for all, use code EGYEAR for one-year access to obé fitness for just $99 ($70 off)!

    2. Reset your eating and sleep habits 
    So we’ve established that the holiday rush didn’t leave much room (or energy) for working out, and if we’re being honest, the same went for keeping up our healthy eating and sleep habits. Between the cookies everywhere you turn and the Christmas movie marathons, who can blame us? I don’t have to tell you that those slices of pumpkin pie and glasses of eggnog can mess with your gut health (hello, bloat) and not prioritizing your beauty sleep can throw off your mood and energy. So hit reset on your diet by keeping the water coming to aid in digestion and prevent constipation and focusing on veggies and other whole, unprocessed foods to help keep you stay satiated and regular. While you’re at it, re-establish a consistent sleep schedule and get a solid 7-9 hours of shuteye in every night. Bonus points: Getting quality Zzzs can help you eat healthier (how’s that for a two-fer?).

    3. Think ahead and make plans to look forward to 
    After the spark of the holiday season has faded, it’s hard not to think back on the good times and feel a sense of dread (womp womp). Instead of ruminating on the past, try thinking about the future to help you feel better in the now. After all, giving yourself things to look forward to—no matter how small—can reduce stress and boost mood. In fact, simply visualizing and anticipating your future (best) self can lift your spirits. Whether it’s the matcha latte you plan to grab on your way to work, the new pair of boots you’re expecting in the mail, or your long-awaited trip to Iceland, make it a point to relish in the upcoming things and experiences that excite you. The result? You’ll cheer up in no time. And don’t forget to pepper in mood-boosting activities (the more the merrier!) throughout the year to spread the joy. 

    4. Spruce up your home
    We’re still in staying in season, which means spending more time at home. Do yourself and your mood a favor by doing a quick sweep of your abode. As empty as it may feel with the tree gone and all the tinsel stored away, it’s the ideal time to clean and declutter every nook and cranny. Because a tidy, organized space can improve your well-being, and there’s nothing more satisfying than checking off the dirty dishes in the sink, the growing piles of laundry, and the clutter on your desk. So pop in an inspiring podcast and get to it! Then, hygge your home with warm elements (you can never have enough candles), layered textures (give me all the warm throw blankets), and natural touches (a new plant, anyone?). Bottom line: Making your crib comfy cozy translates to optimal health and happiness. 

    5. Reflect and set intentions 
    While this may be a given when the New Year and resolutions are top of mind, setting attainable goals—whether health, personal growth, career, or relationship-related—makes us happier. Jumpstart the year by reflecting on what your highest self looks like, creating clear and realistic objectives to become her, and planning out actionable steps to achieve them. Perhaps you want to level up your meditation practice. What are things in your control that you can do each day or week to improve it? Is it dedicating two minutes first thing in the morning to sit in stillness, listening to one guided meditation every afternoon to break up the day, or exploring a new technique each week until you find the one that suits you best? Having an achievable purpose to set your sights on will help enhance your well-being in the present, while progressing toward it will help bring about ongoing happiness and satisfaction.  

    6. Pile on the self-care
    PSA: Now is the time to especially listen to what your mind and body need. Your “me” time and healthy routines have taken a back seat to the whirlwind of the holidays, and enough is enough. Enter: all the self-care. While there’s no one-size-fits-all self-care practice, you can take your pick—from journaling and going for a walk to diving into that must-read novel and blocking off your entire Sunday for Pilates, a lymphatic massage, and a mani-pedi. It goes without saying that you don’t have to do it all at once (but by all means!)—do what works and feels best for you, and switch it up from time to time according to your ever-changing needs. Whatever you choose, you can expect reduced stress levels, higher self-worth, and overall improved well-being. Who says you can’t give yourself gifts (material or in the form of self-care) year-round? 

    7. Get outside
    There’s a reason it’s called nature therapy. While we’re staying indoors more this time of year, we can reap a host of mental health benefits by being one with nature: increased happiness, decreased anxiety, stress, and depression, and better focus. Try forest bathing (AKA a nature walk) where you connect with nature through your five senses, visit a local botanical garden, participate in a sound bath, play with your dog in a park, or sip your morning coffee on your balcony. The world is your oyster. A study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology showed that just five minutes in nature can make you happier. For the times you’re too cozy in bed to move or it’s a tad too cold to bear staying outside for a prolonged period of time, you can bring the outdoors in by adding plants to your home, cueing soothing nature sounds via an app, or using a light therapy box to mimic the effects of being in the open air. 

    How Experts Say To Cope With Seasonal Depression

    This post contains a sponsored inclusion of obé Fitness, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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    Healthier Holiday Dessert Recipes a Registered Dietitian Swears By

    If you ask me, the holidays aren’t complete without your favorite, nostalgic foods. Even as an adult, I still look forward to decorating sugar cookies this time of year. Between work parties, family celebrations, and holiday festivities with friends, it can seem like dessert options are never-ending. But that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy yourself or you have to forgo them altogether. 
    While I believe all foods can be enjoyed in moderation as a part of a healthy diet, it’s also important to be mindful of added sugar consumed during the holidays and beyond. Luckily, there are countless festive dessert recipes that incorporate healthy fats, natural sweeteners, and fiber without sacrificing taste. Keep reading for a round-up of healthier holiday desserts you can enjoy this season. 

    Source: Fit Foodie Finds

    Source: Sweet Potato Soul
     

    Source: Fit Foodie Finds

    Source: Fit Foodie Finds

    Source: Eating Bird Food

    Source: Real Food with Jessica
     

    Source: Eating Bird Food

    Source: The Clean Eating Couple

    Source: Eating Bird Food

    Source: Eating Bird Food
     

    Source: Real Food with Jessica
     

    Source: Ambitious Kitchen
     

    Source: Eating Bird Food
     

    Source: Eating Bird Food
     

    Source: Eating Bird Food

    10 Festive Non-Alcoholic Cocktails to Try This Season More

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    6 Holistic Experts Share Their Most Powerful Tip To Boost Libido

    So you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling (cue Tom Cruise, AKA “Maverick,” singing in Top Gun). That’s OK—being in a sexual rut is totally normal (and you’re not a failure for experiencing it). Not convinced? According to a survey conducted by Headspace and Peanut, 75% of women have experienced low sex drive. What’s more, another study found that only 10% of women easily reach the “Big O” on a regular basis. But let’s be real: Being in good company doesn’t help the situation when all you want is to get in the mood and get down to (horizontal) business. The good news is there are simple and natural ways to help kick your sex drive in high gear. I sought the advice of a range of holistic experts—from a doctor of Chinese medicine to a certified sexological bodyworker—on how to have better orgasms and libido. Ahead, they share their most powerful, orgasm-guaranteed tips for improving libido. Goodbye, dry spell. Hello, mojo.  

    1. Dr. Taz Bhatia, M.D.

    Meet the expert
    Dr. Taz Bhatia, M.D.
    Integrative Health Expert, Founder of CentreSpringMD, PBS Host, and TEDX Speaker
    Dr. Taz is a board-certified integrative and holistic medicine physician who gained national recognition as a best-selling author of the books, “What Doctors Eat” and “Super Woman RX.” She also has her own PBS special, “Super Woman RX with Dr. Taz.”

    “While there may not be scientific evidence on their effect, certain foods are known to get a rise out of your libido. And who doesn’t need an excuse to indulge in a little chocolate? Chocolates, oysters, figs and hot peppers are said to have aphrodisiacal powers. While tomatoes and broccoli aren’t the sexiest foods in the fridge, they are known to excite your libido as well. You can also try pomegranate juice; its deep sultry color is stimulating and can give you a boost in the bedroom. But be sure to toss out the baked goods and the cheese plate, as refined carbs like white bread are libido killers.”

    2. Kiana Reeves

    Meet the expert
    Kiana Reeves
    Sex Educator, Sexological Bodyworker, Pelvic Care Practitioner, and Certified Doula
    Kiana Reeves has been practicing in the field of sexual wellness and female reproductive health for over 10 years. Her career began in birth work as a full spectrum doula, working with mothers and families during birth, postpartum, abortion, and miscarriage. Her background in pleasure, intimacy, and sexuality is informed by her work as a certified somatic sex educator.

    “Get clear on what you want your sex life to look like and become dedicated to it. We’re creatures of habit and sometimes our habits don’t support the type of passion and sexual connection we actually want. Ask yourself (and your partner if you have one) how many times a week you want to spend connecting sexually and then put it on the calendar. This will prepare you mentally to set that time aside, and then commit to using all of your tools to awaken and stir your own desire. This can look like sensually massaging each other, dancing together, taking a bath with aphrodisiac herbs before you connect, and using all-natural supportive sexual wellness products to help activate the process of arousal and pleasure so that when you do engage sexually, you really are able to feel the pleasure you desire.”

    3. Sarah Donner

    Meet the expert
    Sarah Donner
    Integrative Hypnotherapist, Holistic Health Coach, and Founder of Siva Wellness
    Sarah Donner is the founder of Siva Wellness, a brand that focuses on improving mental health through integrative hypnotherapy and holistic health coaching. Donner is a certified expert in Reiki, holistic health coaching, and hypnotherapy.

    “Balancing your hormones is key to better libido and life in general. Getting a full hormone panel done and making educated decisions from there is an amazing start. Building a relationship with your body and observing how you feel during the different stages of your cycle, after a stressful month at work or when you are on vacation, can give you a lot of clues already. The key here is to listen and take notes. There are great natural remedies, like ashwagandha, seed cycling, reducing caffeine consumption, and decreasing stress, that help balance your hormones.”

    4. Dr. Janine Mahon 

    Meet the expert
    Dr. Janine Mahon
    Doctor of Chinese Medicine
    A visionary in women’s self-care, Dr. Janine Mahon is a nationally board-certified acupuncturist and herbalist (NCCAOM) and a licensed doctor of Chinese medicine. Dr. Mahon is the founder and creator her own line of restorative oils and elixirs formulated to help support a deeply-connected, intimate sense of wellbeing.

    “What we choose to think about greatly impacts our health (yes, it is easier said than done!). There are always things to worry about and we don’t want to deny those emotions. Taking a brief moment throughout the day and choosing to notice beauty in whatever form inspires you is key in transforming that energy to awaken your libido. Our Qi (life force energy) needs to be abundant and flowing smoothly for us to experience good health. When a person lives under constant stress and pressure from the feelings of worry, anger, and fear, our Qi starts to be consumed, which in turn depletes our sexual energy and libido. When this energy is drained, we do not have enough to feed our spirits and create joy.”

    5. Steph Morris

    Meet the expert
    Steph Morris
    Love, Sex & Relationship Coach and Breathwork Facilitator
    Steph Morris is a sex and relationship coach who works with women to experience the magic within their bodies and own who they are so that they can live a turned-on and turned-up life. She guides women to balance their masculine and feminine energies and unlock their sexual power so that they can feel more pleasure, have better orgasms, and create the intimate and loving relationship of their dreams.

    “By slowing down and bringing in different textures, flavors, smells, temperatures, speeds, and music, you allow yourself to get the mood warmed up, and your body slowly starts to open up. Engaging your senses and savoring in the experience gets you into your body and turned on before you’ve even moved into any sexual activity. This is essential for women as the average time it takes for a woman to warm up and get turned on is between 20 and 40 minutes. Your body has to be a full ‘yes’ before you move into any sexual stimulation, a very important factor in determining whether an orgasm occurs. Light a candle, play some sensual music, and get some essential oils and toys to weave in your senses and warm you up before getting sexual.”

    6. Lisa Bermudez

    Meet the expert
    Lisa Bermudez
    Yoga Teacher and Ayurveda Expert
    Lisa Bermudez is an Ayurvedic coach, yoga teacher, educator, writer, and skydiver. She has completed dozens of certifications across a wide scope of practices in yoga, meditation, Ayurveda, and Reiki. Her credentials in Ayurveda include a 100 hour training from the Sister Science along with several other Ayurvedic coaching certifications.

    “If you’re operating from a place of love at all times, you’ll already be tapped into your self-care and you’ll also understand how important loving communication is.  The way you talk to yourself and to the people in your life directly reflects your quality of life.  When you’re loving and feeling loved, you’ll be more aligned with what you need to have a healthy libido and better orgasms.”

    What “Libido” Really Is
    and How You Can Tap Into Yours More

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    A Therapist Answers 6 of Your Questions Around Feeling Lonely at Christmas

    Whatever your typical set-up around December the 25th – perhaps a chunky get-together with the extended family, a little celebration with a few key friends and fizz or a firmly ‘non-traditional’ takeaway from your local Chinese restaurant, Christmas can feel a little strained and sometimes lonely.

    The festive period is a core cause of the feeling, even though we’re allowed to all be together again this year, after the global pandemic. While covid might be largely gone, loneliness manifests in different ways, pandemic or not.

    To help you through, WH asked leading psychotherapist and author of This Too Shall Pass, Julia Samuel, to respond to some of your questions, musings and comments on feeling alone, this Christmas.

    READ MORE:Mindful Drinking: How More And More People Are Becoming ‘Sober Curious’

    How should I deal with Christmas loneliness?

    But first, there is some universal advice to root yourself in. Regardless of your situation, the below is likely to be a tonic, to some degree, in this bizarre time.

    Keep a routine

    ‘It helps to have regular routines that you can rely on that give you some certainty, so it might be structural routine of exercise before breakfast, or meditate after work,’ says Samuel.

    Just breathe

    ‘Both exercise and any breathing technique also reduce the anxiety caused by uncertainty, so you get double benefit. Intentionally choosing to do things that give you joy also helps manage uncertainty, so it might be listening to wonderful music as you cook.’

    Know what you can control

    ‘Recognising and jotting down the things you can change and influence and those you can’t is worth sticking on your fridge door,’ Samuel details.

    Remember that, even amid wild uncertainty, you are in control of some aspects of your life. ‘It is important to be proactive, make times for online connection and if possible real connection through walks together, even taking hot drinks that you can stop and drink together,’ she adds.

    ‘We need connection to others more than anything else. People need people and love in every form is vital medicine right now, we have to commit and work to have it, not wait for someone else to connect with us.’

    Scroll on for her response to WH readers who are feeling a little stuck, sad or solitary, at this time.

    READ MORE: How To Manifest Something From Start To Finish

    6 of your Christmas loneliness questions, answered

    1. ‘I feel sick about Christmas! I am alone and dreading seeing people with their families on Instagram. What should I do?’

    ‘I can understand that living alone is heightened over Christmas when you both imagine and see on Instagram families being together,’ says Samuel. ‘I wonder if you might contact an organisation that connects people in communities, young and old online and in person.

    ‘Another thing to note is that using our skill and agency to make something through painting or any kind of craft gives us both purpose and satisfaction, there are also many online craft meet-ups that you can join to discuss your area of interest.’

    READ MORE: If The Festive Season Stresses You Out, Try These Psychologist-Backed Coping Strategies

    2. ‘I am struggling with uncertainty. It looks as if Christmas will be very miserable this year and there’s a shortage of money through no work…’

    ‘The uncertainty and shortage of money make celebrating anything worrying. I wonder if you can schedule virtual meet-up with, say, four good friends to wish each other a happy Christmas.

    ‘I have been pleasantly surprised how meeting with a small number of close friends can feel intimate and enriching.’

    3. ‘My main concern is my 94-year-old mom, who lives alone, abroad. My sister is nearby and sees her a couple of times a day, but if there’s a bad snowstorm, she might not see anyone.’

    ‘I imagine not being with your mom on Christmas day is particularly hard, when the number of Christmases you are likely to have together in the future is uncertain.

    ‘Could you perhaps create a Plan B for your mother if there is a snowstorm – does she have a next door neighbour who she could ring and would agree to drop in, and could you agree a time you will telephone each other on Christmas day whatever the weather?

    ‘I would write and send her a card with a message of all that you feel about her, and memories of your happy Christmases of the past that she could open on Christmas Day.’

    4. ‘I lost my mom four years ago and she made Christmas magical. It’s not ever been the same again.’

    ‘Having memories of those very Happy Christmases with your beloved mom must be bittersweet.

    ‘I would create an annual Christmas ritual which reflects your mom and your love of her, maybe light a candle with flowers and a photograph of her that you can turn to at particular times or do something that connects you to her over Christmas.

    ‘Touchstones to memory are a way of expressing the love of the person who has died, for our love for them never dies.’

    5. ‘I think I will get depressed as I alone am expected to carry out all household chores. I used to have my friends as support, but, because I’ve not been in touch with them regularly through lockdown, they have left me.’

    ‘I can hear how hurt you are not being in touch with your friends, but I would suggest you draw on your courage and contact them and agree to reconnect. I am sure they would welcome hearing from you as they might well be feeling left and lonely too.

    ‘Partly it is about just daring, taking the leap to text or call and it is also cognitively recognising that the feeling of fear doesn’t in anyway match the reality of fear – feelings are not facts.

    ‘The worst that can happen is the status quo, they don’t respond, so you have lost nothing and may gain a friend so it is definitely worth the jump.’

    READ MORE: 21 Best Self-Care Gifts For Her That Go Way Beyond Face Masks

    6. ‘I have no family anyway and I think Christmas is over-amped as a time of togetherness – and that itself is the key cause of the seasonal loneliness.’

    ‘I wonder if you would find some sense of enrichment over a time that feels over-amped by volunteering on Christmas Day or around it? Helping others is both good for those that receive but also the giver.’

    *This article was originally published on Women’s Health UK More

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    60 Realistic New Year’s Resolutions You Can Totally Achieve This Year

    Lose weight. Run a marathon. Cut out alcohol. Get a raise. We make the same tired new year’s resolutions every year that we never manage to keep, or we forget we made them altogether by February. Seriously–is it just me, or do new year’s resolutions never seem to work? My suspicion is that we make resolutions that we think we want, not resolutions that will actually make us healthier and happier. We think losing weight will make us feel more confident or that running a marathon will get us to the gym (and back to that weight loss goal). We believe cutting out alcohol will make us healthier or that getting a raise will make all of our problems disappear. But are these resolutions really making us feel good, or are these “goals” in the name of being better actually distracting us from truly being healthy? 
    In 2023, it’s time to ditch the typical resolutions that leave you feeling stressed out or let down year after year. Instead, opt for resolutions that you’ll enjoy so much and will make you feel so good, you’ll have no trouble sticking with them at all. These 60 new year’s resolutions will make you feel happier, healthier, and all-around better (difficult diets or forced workouts need not apply). Whether you choose one resolution or all 60, you’ll be happier and healthier by 2024. 
     
    If you want to revamp your diet…

    Check in with your body before and after every meal to see how it feels
    Ditch outdated food rules 
    Focus on adding more nutrients (instead of eating fewer calories/carbohydrates, etc.)
    Eat leafy greens with two meals a day
    Drink more water and eat more water-rich produce (like watermelon, romaine, tomatoes, cucumber, etc.)
    Try new produce you’ve never cooked with before
    Eat the rainbow with a variety of fruits and veggies in every color
    Start meal prepping to make cooking during the week easier
    Eat seasonally
    Replace your favorite meals with plant-based alternatives (cauliflower pizza crust, chickpea pasta, etc.)

    If you’re motivated to update your fitness routine…

    Exercise in ways that feel exciting and fun
    Get specific about your goals
    Add an outdoor activity to your routine (going on a walk counts!)
    Be active in ways that don’t feel like exercise (play sports with friends, go ice skating, swim in the summer, etc.)
    Prioritize rest and recovery just as much as you prioritize workouts
    Work out without your phone
    Try something totally new once a month
    Be more active outside of the gym (take the stairs, walk everywhere, etc.)
    Stretch more
    Schedule workouts into your calendar (yes, even if that means your work calendar)

    If you need to stress less…

    Prioritize the hobbies, habits, and people who make you happy
    Reexamine all of your relationships–let go of the ones that don’t make you feel good, and invest more time into the ones that do
    Practice gratitude, even for the smallest things
    Start a meditation practice
    Have a go-to morning and nighttime routine that makes you feel relaxed and happy
    Try a weekly social media detox
    Get 7-9 hours of sleep (every single night)
    Talk to yourself like you talk to loved ones
    Say “no” when you mean no
    Schedule time to do something fun “just because” every day

    If you want to look as good on the outside as you feel on the inside…

    Nail down a skincare routine that you can consistently do every single day
    Focus on scalp-care
    Experiment with color in your makeup routine
    Invest in a beauty supplement
    Find your perfect foundation or concealer shade
    Try a new nail color you’ve never worn before
    Make your quarterly haircut appointments in advance
    Develop a nighttime hair routine
    Wear sunscreen every single day
    Make a skin-check appointment with your dermatologist

    If you want to feel more in control of your finances…

    Max out your retirement contribution or start contributing to a retirement fund
    Pay off credit cards
    Increase your credit score
    Pay off one thing that requires monthly payments
    Reach a certain amount in savings
    Set up an emergency fund and build it to a percentage of your salary
    Save for a big goal (down payment on house, car, etc.)
    Talk with your boss about action plans to maximize your compensation (work toward a raise, check out commuter perks, look at non-health benefits, etc.)
    Work on your financial wellness
    Budget to make room for items, experiences, or indulgences that truly bring you joy

    If you’re ready to upgrade your home…

    Create a daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal cleaning routine
    Replace one disposable item in your kitchen with a more eco-friendly alternative (for example, swap paper towels for rags, aluminum foil for reusable food wrap, or counter cleaner with a refillable essential-oil based cleaner)
    Tackle one home project a month
    Do a quick declutter of closets, drawers, laundry chairs, and piles of paper once a week
    Make seasonal updates so your home always feels fresh
    Make one big change like painting a wall, getting a new couch, or DIYing a gallery wall to make your space feel like new
    Reorganize one area every month, like your makeup stash, pantry, fridge, or hall closet
    Aim to bring your personality into your home more 
    Get in the habit of cleaning off counters, finishing the dishes, and putting away any laundry before bed
    Make upgrades to your bath or shower for a more peaceful environment

    This Health Expert Swears by One Hack to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions More