For many – if not most – people with ovaries, the first period is unexpected, painful and secretive. Without anything being said, we are silently taught to not talk about periods, despite it being a natural part of the menstrual cycle. But sweeping the issue under the rug can have negative impacts. “As sociological studies demonstrate, menstrual stigma is rooted in ideologies that construct menstruating women as leaking, unhygienic and irrational. Such discourses are indicative of a societal imperative to ensure that menstrual blood remains concealed,” explains one study in . No longer, we say! So, read on – and take this as your cue to talk about your periods more.
Talking about your periods is effective
One brand pushing to take periods out of its shame era is Kotex, which partnered with experts, thought leaders, South Africa’s Department of Basic Education, and some of the country’s most popular influencers to spread a message of hope and empowerment around the menstrual cycle. This formed part of their contribution to 2024 Women’s Month. As part of their campaign, they visited schools to educate young people about periods, dispelling myths, addressing period stigmas and sharing practical tips.
It’s deeply necessary in a country where 43% of people with periods admitted to experiencing stigmatization and shame attached to menstruation, which is more prevalent among those aged 18 and younger, according to Kotex’s latest survey. In an effort to break the stigma and bring menstrual issues to the fore, more and more influencers are jumping on board to share their insights. On TikTok, the tag #periods has over 100 000 posts, with hundreds of relating tags, from #periodstories to #periodhacks. It’s encouraging to see the conversation, especially with the knowledge that over half of Gen Z use TikTok and Instagram to search for answers to a question – instead of consulting Google.
“Efforts like these [to talk about periods] are crucial to the ongoing encouragement and support of young girls and women to be the best versions of themselves, no matter what time of the month it is,” asserts medical professional and health advocate Dr Nosipho Danielle Mhlanga.
READ MORE: Got Two Periods In One Month? These Are All Of The Possible Reasons Why
Speaking more ushers in change
Another way it’s effective is that it can create real change. For example, in 2018, armed with the knowledge that many people with periods in South Africa struggle to afford sanitary products, Kotex and its industry peers took to lobbying government to remove the VAT charge for sanitary pads. It worked: sanitary pads have since been declared zero-rated or VAT-exempt.
Similarly, we need talks like this to grow even further so that more research is put into menstruation that can help those who have a cycle. Case in point: only this year did a study confirm that period products’ absorbency claims are misleading since the products are tested with salt water – not actual blood.
The implications of the study results are far more wide-reaching than buying the incorrect tampons: per researchers, it means that doctors may be underdiagnosing heavy menstrual bleeding, a factor that signals larger health conditions.
Simply put, the more we discuss our experiences – good or bad – the more we are able to ask for change. Here, experts dish how to broach the subject when it feels awkward.
Expert tips to help talk about periods
As a mother, normalise the conversation
Having your first period can be a daunting, confusing experience. By reassuring your child, they can start to feel comfortable with their evolving body. “Emphasize that menstruation is something that happens to all women and is a sign of a healthy body,” says Dr Esther Rockson, an OB/GYN based in Midrand. “You could say, ‘Periods are a normal part of being a woman. It’s just your body working as it should.’”
And, says Naznin Bhom, pharmacist academic intern at Zoie Health, steer clear of euphemisms or negative connotations. Avoid phrases that carry an implication of shame, such as ‘a dirty secret’ or ‘that time of the month’,” she says. “Instead, frame menstruation as a sign of maturity and an important aspect of health. By encouraging open dialogue and providing reassurance, you can help girls feel empowered rather than embarrassed. After all, periods are a natural part of life, and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.”
Lastly, encourage questions, says Dr Rockson. “Let her know that she can ask you anything and that there’s no such thing as a silly question. This openness helps remove any sense of embarrassment,” she adds.
READ MORE: These Unusual PMS Symptom Treatments Actually Work – Minus Painkillers
How to talk about periods at work
Painful periods or the extreme fatigue that it can often come with make work difficult to complete, much less explain to a superior. Dr Rockson recommends preparing in advance, choosing the right time and setting (like a one-on-one meeting) and keeping things solution-focused. Bhom recommends this line: “‘I sometimes experience painful periods that can affect my focus. I’d appreciate any flexibility during that time.’ This opens up a dialogue and demonstrates your professionalism while prioritising your health,” she adds.
Per Dr Rockson, avoid over-explaining yourself or apologising. “You deserve to take care of your health and being honest about it shouldn’t require excessive apologies,” she says.
How to broach the subject with your doc
To make things crystal-clear to your doctor that you need help (beyond an offer of contraception), come with a few things in your arsenal. Dr Rockson suggests keeping a “detailed record of your periods, symptoms, and their severity. Note things like the frequency of your periods, pain levels (e.g., cramps, headaches, etc.), flow (light, heavy), and how it affects your daily life (e.g., missing work, inability to exercise). Having this data can make your concerns more concrete,” she says.
Next, she recommends asking targeting questions, like “Is it normal to experience this much pain?” or “Could this be a sign of something like endometriosis?”.
“Use clear, straightforward language,” says Bhom. “Like, ‘I’ve been experiencing severe cramps and irregular cycles.’ If you feel dismissed or gaslit, don’t hesitate to seek a second opinion. You deserve compassionate and thorough care, and advocating for yourself is key!”
Be louder about period stigma everywhere else
“To cultivate a culture that doesn’t normalise severe period pain, begin by sharing your experiences honestly and encouraging others to do the same,” says Bhom. “Foster conversations about menstrual health without stigma, promoting the idea that seeking help for period problems is not only acceptable but essential.”
For Dr Rockson, part of changing the narrative involves challenging myths and stigmas. “If you hear people downplaying period pain or dismissing the need to see a doctor, gently correct them,” she says. Similarly, if someone brings up their struggle with periods, acknowledge their struggle. Lastly, Dr Rockson says it’s important to support period-friendly work and school policies. “In workplace or educational settings, support policies that make it easier for people to manage their periods without shame or hardship. This could include things like providing paid sick leave for menstrual pain or ensuring easy access to menstrual products,” she says.
READ MORE: 4 Most Common Questions Women Ask About Their Sexual Health
