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      in beauty and fashion

      7 Ways to Boost Skin Glow (Without Changing Your Products)

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      Your mom has probably told you 1000+ times that “it’s what’s on the inside that counts.” While she meant that your kindness and intellect matter more than how you look (true, mom!), she was also onto a powerful beauty hack. Everything from dull skin to a breakout can reflect what’s going on internally, whether it’s imbalances in the gut or stress and anxiety. Therefore, you can double up on foundation and drown yourself in a $100 serum, but that won’t matter if you’re not prioritizing both what you put on and in your body—and maybe more importantly, how you treat your body.For the other skincare-obsessed and beauty queens out there, this is good news: there are lots of ways to heal the skin and achieve a radiant glow without spending even more $$$ on mists, masks, and eye creams (that won’t even fit into our overflowing beauty cabinets, am I right ladies??). Because you deserve the secret to achieve flawless skin, here are seven ways to boost glow (and not one of them is buying a pricey lotion):

      1. Take a supplement
      A modern-day beauty routine is not just reserved for the vanity in your bathroom. No, beauty routines are extending into your pantries and refrigerators too. I’m talking about skincare that you can ingest: formulas, pills, and powders that clear skin and boost glow from the inside out. We love Rae Wellness for supplements made with evidence-based, high-quality ingredients at a very affordable price. One of my favorite effective, beauty-boosting products is the Vegan Collagen Capsules, which support your own natural collagen production to renew and restore skin from within. I love it because it’s plant-derived collagen (most collagen brands come from animal products); contains super nutrients like vitamin C, A, B, E, and minerals to support growth; and can easily be taken as a pill with your other vitamins. 
      For more beauty supplements that can easily be added into your regular routine, try the Beauty Drops, which contain biotin to support healthy hair, skin, and nails, and the Hydration Drops, which contain an ingestible form of hyaluronic acid (AKA that trendy moisturizing ingredient in all of your serums and face masks). These drops work on a cellular level to boost radiance and hydrate the skin from the inside-out. Add to a smoothie, coffee, or glass of water for a lit-from-within glow that you don’t have to try too hard (or spend a lot of $$$) to get. You’ve been warned: people will ask you what your secret is. 

      Source: Danielle Moss

      2. Get more sleep
      You already know that getting 7-9 hours of (quality) sleep a night is crucial for the entire body to function properly. But if waking up groggy the next day and an increase in sugar cravings doesn’t motivate you to turn off Netflix at a decent hour, maybe your skin health will. Our bodies need sleep for more reasons than just recharging and having dreams about Timothée Chalamet: a lack of sleep can cause inflammation in the body, which can result in inflammation in the organs–including the skin (AKA the largest organ). If you do get enough rest, you can also experience benefits like fewer wrinkles, less puffy eyes, and yes, a more glowing complexion. It brings a whole new meaning to “beauty sleep,” doesn’t it?

      Source: @simplytandya

      3. Prioritize gut health
      The gut-skin connection is real, people. One study showed how the gut microbiome may be connected to acne and irritations, while other studies have found a correlation between gut problems and skin conditions. Call it a gut feeling (get it?), but I think of skin health as a map to what’s going on with my gut; if I have a breakout, I know something might be going on in the digestive system, whether it was eating too much sugar or that I haven’t been getting enough dietary fiber.
      “The gut is where we make nutrients, metabolize hormones, detoxify enzymes, neutralize pathogens, and make neurotransmitters,” explained Carla Oates, gut health expert and founder of The Beauty Chef. “It’s super important to get your digestive health in check in order to feel well and, of course, experience clear, glowing skin.” Try these ways to improve your gut by the end of the week. 

      4. Eat your fruits and veggies
      Just like processed foods might cause breakouts, and eating sugar might cause premature aging (haven’t you heard of “sugar face?“), certain foods can have the reverse effect on skin health. “Since we are what we eat, it’s no surprise that diet and beauty go hand-in-hand,” said McKenzie Jones, RDN, CLT. “Foods that promote a healthy, balanced lifestyle also promote youthful-looking skin and can help keep you looking radiant from the inside, out.” Try foods like avocados, tomatoes, lemons, sweet potatoes, blueberries, and leafy greens for some amazing superfoods that will boost skin glow. For more foods that can improve your complexion, click here. 

      Source: @ashbegash

      5. Stay hydrated
      When I was 13, I read an interview with Gabrielle Union where she said that her flawless skin (which, let’s be real, is Flawless with a capital “F”) is all thanks to drinking multiple gallons of water a day, and no, I have not forgotten it since. Looks like Gabrielle Union was onto something: water is truly a cure-all for every skincare woe. Drinking water moisturizes the skin on a deep, cellular level (can your night cream do that?). Not to get too science-y on you, but skin cells are made of water (just like every other cell in the body). If the skin is not getting a sufficient amount of water, skin cells cannot function properly. Thank you, Gab, for the major beauty hack. Now go refill your water bottles! Bonus hydration points if you add the Hydration Drops.

      6. Sweat more often
      While it may not help you smell amazing, sweating can help your skin look amazing. That’s right: sitting in a pool of your own sweat (whether it’s from a tough workout class or an infrared sauna) can help clear up your skin and give you a dewy complexion. “When our body temperature rises, our blood vessels dilate,” said Dr. Whitney Bowe, a New York-based dermatologist. “This is called vasodilation, and it increases the flow of blood to our skin. Over the long term, vasodilation has a positive impact on the vasculature that supports our skin, helping to keep our skin looking healthy and youthful.” In other words, your favorite hot yoga class is not only good for your body, but good for your skin. Just make sure to wash your face soon after to avoid breakouts from clogged pores (the act of sweating is beneficial, but dried sweat sitting on your skin for too long is not). 

      Source: @cynthialions

      7. Keep stress levels low
      You already know that chronic stress is bad for you and just isn’t fun, but you can add “boost skin glow” to your list of reasons to take PTO and start a meditation practice. Some studies have found that cortisol (the stress hormone) can lead to clogged pores, while other studies show that stress may negatively affect the skin’s water retention (leading to dryness). Not to mention that stress can also cause anything from rashes to wrinkles. Prioritize stress relief in your life by scheduling more breaks, unplugging more often, and perfecting an unwind routine after work to let go of workday stress. 

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Rae Wellness, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      The One Trick That Helped Me Reach Every Goal Last Year

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      One of my most defining characteristics is my planner. Every year, I change it up slightly, but I never fail to have at least 1-3 planners in my possession at all times. I live and breathe my planner and notebooks. But I use them for way more than my daily to-do lists and managing all of my events and meetings; my planners are filled to the brim with goals, lists, reflections, trackers, ideas, and more. And after building some much-awaited anticipation, I’m sharing everything I use them for, how I use them, and how exactly I managed to reach pretty much every goal I had for 2020–all thanks to my little black books! All of this to say, if you simply made it to December 2020, you’ve done a solid job. I didn’t reach every personal goal by miles (LOL, I wanted to travel outside of the U.S.!), and I reestablished my goals once the pandemic hit to feel like I was still pushing toward things even if everything felt different. Goals are honestly arbitrary if you’re happy and feel good; don’t beat yourself up if you merely survived this year. But I’m also all here for making 2021 the best yet, even with our “new normal” still in sight.

      What I Use
      I go back and forth and use many different notebooks and planners, but my divine trio this year has been as follows:
      Black notebook as a “bullet journal” that I use for lists, goals, trackers, and long as all hell to-do lists every single day
      A daily planner to track meetings and schedule everything in my day from workouts to Zoom calls to taking a bath
      A big monthly calendar for tracking birthdays, events, and things I need to know of in advance (photoshoots and filming things, big projects I need to work on for days, etc.)—I have done this a few ways, like with a dry-erase board, a monthly calendar pinned to the wall, or a monthly planner, and the dry-erase board was the best but least attractive, so wall calendar it is!
      And as for my favorite supplies…

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      How I Use Them
       
      Set up trackers
      Having trackers in my planner or journal is the only reason I’ve created any healthy habits this year—I wish I was exaggerating. It’s the easiest way for me to recognize patterns (like when I’m not drinking enough water I’m also less motivated to work out because I get headaches!) and address pain points in my routine to make room for the things I actually prioritize. If I notice that I went a whole week without reading, I set up next week’s weekly to-do list with specific tasks to get more reading in. This has made it so easy to see the habits I prioritize in my life and make them easy to achieve and develop rather than just a list of goals that I find daunting.

      Create daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly goals
      Before you can create your habits, it’s important to figure out what goals you want to achieve. Many of us write up a list of yearly goals sometime around January 1. “Run a 5K!” “Eat healthier!” “Get a promotion!” But the downfall of those giant goals is when you don’t turn them into easy bite-sized chunks that you can actually accomplish. 
      Once I’ve written out my top goals for the year, I work on dividing them up into monthly, weekly, and even daily goals for myself. And this list is constantly changing. If I know I’ll be drinking one weekend, I’ll up my water goal to make sure I’m hydrated, but I also will decrease my goal for working out four days a week if I know I’m giving myself some grace through the weekend. Creating daily goals also really helps me to stay on track with my weekly and monthly goals. It feels easy to just have a goal to work out one time versus “work out four times a week for four weeks.” 
      These all usually work together to help me reach those big goals, but I also throw in other notes sometimes. The last few months, I made a weekly goal to get dressed and do my makeup at least three times. This had nothing to do with a monthly or yearly goal of mine, but it made me feel better, and sometimes those are the best goals to have.

      Developed daily and weekly routines
      Once you have all of your goals and habits in place, you can start creating routines to fit all of them in. I despise waking up in the morning without a plan; I want to know what’s happening when. But that isn’t always possible. I can’t expect to have a calendar laid out for me every single day, especially while working from home. Instead, I’ve developed my own routines to follow on the days it would be so easy to just lay in bed and do nothing. (And to be fair, some days, the whole routine is doing nothing in bed—gotta love the weekend!) 
      I create daily routines for busy days, lazy days, days I have lots of meetings, and more. This has developed over time, as I’ve seen patterns in myself. I know that on a busy day, I’ll put off eating until midday, which only makes me ravenous and, in turn, idle the second half of the day. So, I created a routine that made sure I ate a big breakfast that would last me a while so I could get a lot of work done without needing to stop for snacks or to eat. In the same vein, it’s helpful for me to have a routine for the days I struggle to be productive, so I filled it with tons of self-care and enjoyable tasks that get me out of a funk.
      I also enjoy creating weekly routines. This helps me stay on track with the tasks in my life that I find it easiest to constantly swap to other days. Laundry always gets done on Fridays. I plan my week every Sunday night. I work out Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday. I get take-out on Thursdays or Fridays. Having these in place makes it easiest for me to see when things are happening, and it makes it a lot harder to put off. This is also really helpful at work too! 
      These routines live at the beginning of my journal, and I refer back to them often. I’ll look at them at the beginning of the week when I’m making a plan for myself, and then I schedule all of these tasks in my planner or iCal. 

      Monthly and quarterly reviews
      Although many of us have bi-annual performance reviews at work, I make sure to do them monthly and quarterly on my own, for both my entire life and for work. I sit down with my notebook and go over the things I want to stop, start, and continue each month. Doing it right then makes it so much easier to look back on every quarter as well as at my yearly performance review to see what I’ve worked on and how I’ve grown throughout the year. 
      I also do a quarterly review, in which I just list out what I’ve done and then develop goals for the next quarter from that. I’ve done this all in one go before, but I also sometimes just write in notes as they’re happening. This is great for making notes about little victories in your day, like doing a 45-minute cardio class instead of 30 minutes or giving more positive feedback to a coworker. But it’s also great to note any pain points, such as not having enough time to work on your passions or skipping your workout every Saturday because you’re too tired in the mornings (me). Then, I’ll use these reflections to develop goals and ideas for the next month and quarter. (Can you tell I make an absurd amount of goals?) 

      Refine my to-do lists
      I make a wild amount of to-do lists on a daily basis, as I’m sure anyone who loves having a paper planner does as well.  But I’ve really revised and refined my to-do list process. Instead of having a million lying around at all times, I write one gigantic to-do list every night before bed for the next day in my notebook. It has everything from “take out the trash” to “cook dinner” to “edit such and such article” and more. Every work task, personal task, home task, health task—you name it, and I write it down. Then, the next morning, I pull all of my tasks from that list and schedule them into my calendar if they can be scheduled. “Cook dinner” becomes a 7 p.m. item. “Editing” is blocked for 3:30-5:30 p.m. This cuts my to-do list down immensely, making it so that I’m focusing less on those pieces as “tasks” and more on them as just being parts of my day. It makes my day so much less daunting than having a million items on a to-do list that I don’t know how I’ll ever get them done. 
      Then, if my to-do list still seems terrifying, I’ve started using a tip from freelance writer, Olivia Muenter. She suggested using a different sticky note to break down each to-do list item, even the absolute smallest parts. When you can pull away a sticky note, it’s immediately satisfying, no matter how easy the task was. I’ve modified it by using a sticky note for each “part” of my list. Typically for me, this looks like “writing,” “editing,” “Facebook,” “home,” “personal.’ Then, each note has every single task that needs to be done in that category, no matter how small. Almost always, “home” and “personal” don’t get removed until around 9 p.m., but removing the work-related notes as the day goes on is magical.

      All of this to say, I’m certainly not a productivity guru. I’m still learning. Heck, it took me two more days than I originally planned for to write this article right here! But having a few plans in place helps me immensely, and I know it’ll be my first line of defense when 2021 inevitably throws us some wild curveball.  More

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      5 Small Changes to Make for a Happier New Year

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      New year’s resolutions have never been productive for me. I imagine that many of us —including myself—are finding it difficult to set goals considering what this year has looked like for us globally. This year I found that adding small changes to my routine has helped me not only cope with the rollercoaster of emotions I’ve felt this year, but they’ve also helped me find new interests and even helped me reassess what’s important in both my personal and professional life. Because of my success, I wanted to share a few small tips to help make this new year more balanced and joyful. 
      1. Make sleep a priority 
      A study conducted by the CDC found that one in three Americans regularly don’t get enough sleep. I used to be one of those people until I figured out that sleeping gave my brain time to recuperate from staring at the computer for hours. I once thought that the longer I stayed up and got things checked off my to-do list, the longer I was productive. However, I often found myself having to spend more time on certain tasks because my eyes and mind were too tired. 
      My body’s reaction to my unhealthy sleeping habits makes sense given our bodies repair themselves each night as we get our well-deserved shut-eye. The amount of sleep each of us needs is unique to us within an average of 7-9 hours. I find that being mindful of what time I stop watching Netflix, texting, and lounging helps me make sure I’m in bed by 11 p.m., as that is my personal sweet spot. Experiment with different times to find what works best for you and adjust from there.  

      2. Add a mindful act of self-care to your routine
      A few weeks ago, I asked my therapist if she thought self-care was really helpful. Of course, her answer was yes. As we talked, I questioned how something as simple as a cup of tea could help with mindfulness, and in my case, anxiety. I can’t remember exactly what she said, but what I took away from our conversation was that by taking the time to make a cup of tea or draw a bath, you are saying you deserve a moment reserved for yourself. 
      Even with us being in our homes most of the time due to the pandemic, there’s still a lot to get done, and prioritizing ourselves is still important. We’re even working during a time where the physical boundaries of work for many of us are gone, which means closing our laptops when we’re “off” is even more difficult. Whether it’s meditation, tea, a bath, meditation, a walk, therapy, painting, or whatever you dream up, finding something small to do that gives you even a moment of peace is worth it.  

      3. Find a workout activity you enjoy
      At the start of the new year, it feels inspiring to embark on a new workout journey. However, sometimes we can get lost in physical transformation, and not take the time to figure out what activities we really enjoy that we’ll want to stick with even after the celebratory feelings of the new year have worn off. Exercising in the past has felt like a chore, but I found my thing in quarantine. Seeing my body change has been great, but the energy boost and anti-anxiety benefits I get are why I don’t skip more than a day of working out. 

      4. Get organized
      Organization is something I struggle with, especially when I feel like I have accumulated too much stuff. Decluttering your space isn’t just aesthetically pleasing, decluttering is proven to impact your mood.  No one has time for that considering there’s already enough going on around us that triggers our stress. Investing in organization products is a great place to start, but going through items in your home and donating and tossing unwanted things helps make your room for a clutter-free environment. This includes home goods, clothes, makeup, and whatever else that is making you ask yourself, “Do I ever use this?”

      5. Set boundaries with your phone and social media 
      Setting boundaries with my phone, social media, and technology, in general, is an ongoing struggle—one that I often try to amend with no success. Going cold turkey feels pretty impossible, so I have adopted a subtle, but consistent approach to this one. For starters, I no longer roll over and check my phone the moment I open my eyes. Secondly, I shut down my screen time at 9 p.m. each night.
      Social media can have a positive effect on our lives, but like most things in our lives, overconsumption can bring about negative effects—in this case, sleep disruption, anxiety, and depression. If you’re like me and are looking for ways to have a healthier relationship with social media, Start with silencing notifications, sleep with your phone across the room (or in another room), and avoid social media an hour to 30 minutes before bed. Each of these tips are expert-approved suggestions that can help us find balance with technology. 
      I find myself saying this a lot lately because I know it to be true: small changes can lead to a big impact. Find small things that work for you and your world. More

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      15 Items Wellness Experts Love From Trader Joe’s

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      Thanks to cult-classics like Cookie Butter and Candy Cane Joe Joe’s (both of which deserve to be staples in everyone’s kitchen, BTW), Trader Joe’s doesn’t always get the health-food store reputation that it deserves. America’s sweetheart of grocery stores not only offers organic options at much more affordable prices than other stores, but they recreate genius alternatives of some of our favorite foods with cleaner ingredients and plant-based nutrients. There’s a reason Trader Joe’s is a go-to for nutritionists, dietitians, and wellness experts alike. Whether you’re plant-based, vegan, gluten-free, or just looking to make your diet a little bit healthier, here are 15 easy, delicious, and oh-so-nutritious items at TJ’s that wellness experts pull of shelves:
      1. Green Goddess Salad Dressing

      Many salad dressings (especially creamy Green Goddess dressing) contain sneaky processed ingredients, added sugars, and unhealthy creams, so wellness experts love this list of clean ingredients (avocado, fresh herbs, apple cider vinegar, garlic, etc.). Bonus hack: it’s not just for your salads. Try it as a dip or pasta sauce to sneak in some nutrients for little picky eaters (and no shame if “little picky eaters” means you).  
      Try if: you’re over boring salad dressings.

      2. Unsweetened Açai Puree Packets

      While many açai bowls you can get at smoothie shops or restaurants contain added sugar, Trader Joe’s Açai Puree Packets are unsweetened. If “açai” sounds like a different language to you, the superfood has a wide range of health benefits and tastes delicious. Add to smoothies or make your own açai bowl and top with fruit, nut butter, and coconut shreds.
      Try if: you’re a sucker for an Insta-worthy breakfast bowl.

      3. Cauliflower Thins

      Made of cauliflower (over 60 percent), eggs, parmesan cheese, and deactivated yeast, these cauliflower thins are a delicious alternative to bread, tortillas, etc., for anyone who’s avoiding gluten or trying to sneak in more veggies. Spread avocado on top, pile on veggies and hummus, or DIY your favorite sandwich for healthy, delicious, and easy meals.
      Try if: you’ve never been able to say goodbye to sandwiches for lunch. 

      4. Organic Coconut Aminos 

      This healthy alternative to traditional soy sauce is free of gluten and soy, making it the perfect option for people with food sensitivities or allergies. It also has one-third the sodium content of traditional soy sauce, is plant-based (made from coconut), and certified organic, which are all labels that wellness experts cannot get enough of. Order it online here. 
      Try if: you’re a sushi lover who wants to make your takeout order a little healthier.

      5. Riced Cauliflower Stir-Fry

      This cult-favorite stir fry is made with cauliflower instead of rice. The plant-based rice is mixed with chopped veggies and nutritious flavors like tamari, sesame oil, and ginger. Simply reheat the mixture over a skillet, and you’re good to go! Pro tip: add egg, tofu, or chicken if you want a little extra protein.
      Try if: you don’t time/energy/motivation to cook, but still want a delicious, plant-based meal.

      6. Organic Ginger Turmeric Herbal Tea

      With turmeric to reduce inflammation and ginger to aid in digestion, this tea is basically a wellness expert’s dream tea. And it’s certified organic!? You’re going to want to stock up on this tea before all the health nuts sell it out.
      Try if: you want a warming go-to drink that doubles as an extra dose of nutrients.

      7. Veggie Spirals

      Whether you’re craving pasta with tomato sauce, pad thai, or any other noodle variation, the veggie spirals are the perfect way to squeeze in some extra nutrients. These pre-spiraled frozen packages make healthy eating easy; simply heat them up and add to any recipe or top with any sauce for a way healthier version of your favorite noodle dish. You can either use them as a replacement for noodles or add them to the noodles you already love.
      Try if: you live for a good noodle dish. 

      8. Hi-Protein Veggie Burger

      With an impressive 26g of protein, a simple ingredients list, and 40 percent of the daily goal for iron, these plant-based vegan burgers are a dream for meat-free diets. The texture is more like a falafel than a chewy burger, which means you can eat with your favorite burger toppings or put it into salads and wraps to get some extra clean protein into your lunches. Order it online here. 
      Try if: you want to add more protein in your diet.

      9. Organic Tahini

      The only ingredient in this creamy butter alternative is ground sesame seeds. High in fiber, protein, iron, magnesium, and a variety of other nutrients, tahini is officially a staple in health experts’ kitchens. Add it to salad dressings to make them creamier, use it in baked goods recipes to up the nutrition, or drizzle over fruit for a decadent (and healthy!) treat. Order it online here. 
      Try if: you want to hack your baked goods. 

      10. Kale Gnocchi

      Of all the infamous Trader Joe’s gnocchi (cauliflower, sweet potato, chocolate), the Kale Gnocchi has got to take the (very healthy) cake. With a simple ingredients list of potato starch, chickpea flour, sea salt, olive oil, and, of course, kale, it’s the perfect way to sneak in some extra greens.
      Try if: you never remember to eat your greens.

      11. Juice Shots

      You already know that fancy juice shots are a must-have in the fridges of bougie wellness experts and health influencers. The problem for us normal people? Juice shots can be hella expensive (and for literally one sip…?). Luckily, the shots at Trader Joe’s are the cheapest I’ve ever found, while still being certified organic and full of superfoods and nutrients, making them wellness-expert approved. 
      Try if: you’re looking to upgrade your wellness game.

      12. Chocolate Hummus

      I know what you’re thinking: chocolate…hummus? While I fully trust and respect the Trader Joe’s powers that be (AKA whoever names the genius products), I think of this less as a chocolate hummus and more of a chocolate frosting or dip that sneaks in some healthy ingredients. With a base of cooked chickpeas and tahini, dessert just got a lot more nutritious. Use as a frosting for baked goods or as a dip with apple slices when you’re craving something sweet.
      Try if: you have a serious sweet tooth.

      13. Cauliflower Pizza Crust

      Perhaps one of the most beloved Trader Joe’s products of all time, the cauliflower pizza crust revolutionizes drunk food and pizza cravings by replacing greasy crusts and processed flour with nutrient-dense cauliflower and gluten-free cornflour. Try the Margherita variety for the days where “cooking” means sticking something in the oven, or the bare crust to get creative with toppings.
      Try if: you live off of frozen pizzas (AKA everybody RN)

      14. Organic Popcorn with Olive Oil

      The only three ingredients in this delicious snack are popcorn, extra virgin olive oil, and sea salt. Made with organic kernels and olive oil (instead of more processed oils or butters), this is basically as clean as a store-bought popcorn is going to get. Plus, it contains fiber, protein, and healthy fats. Order it online here. 
      Try if: you want a nutrient-dense replacement for potato chips.

      15. Vegan Kale, Cashew, and Basil Pesto

      Because even wellness experts love pesto. Not only is this option dairy-free, but it’s also more nutritious than the traditional version by incorporating kale and cashews in addition to the usual ingredients like basil, lemon juice, and olive oil. Use the decadent sauce on top of bruschetta, with your favorite pasta, or as a dip for veggies.
      Try if: you need a go-to sauce that’s as healthy as it is delicious.

      What are your go-to healthy Trader Joe’s products? More

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      The Hacks My Therapist Taught Me That I’m Using to Make 2021 My Best Year Yet

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      After the complete dumpster fire of a year 2020 was, I was sure as hell due for a sit-down with a therapist (virtual, luckily). Everything “seemed” to be going just fine in my life, and I really had nothing on the surface to complain about. This year really put into perspective that having a job and housing, being healthy, and having a few close friends and family members are really all you need in life; the rest is just extra. So, why the heck was I so depressed? For one, I don’t want to downplay the absolute role of ~brain chemicals~ in all of this. I’ve suffered from clinical depression for as long as I can remember; the pendulum suddenly swings opposite my favor every now and then solely because my brain feels like it, and as much as I can try to meditate and journal and do yoga and become a freaking zen master, I’ll still deal with depression. But there are times when my anxiety and depression can stand for a little upgrade, and that’s where talking to a therapist about coping mechanisms comes into play. 
      I’ve long been aware of the concept of limiting beliefs: those thoughts you believe about yourself to be utterly true even though they’re almost rarely based in facts. I can tell my friends up and down when they’re speaking through a limiting belief or they’re making up ideas assuming them as truths. But when it comes to myself… LOL. I don’t have such a handle on how negative thoughts can be so all-consuming. 

      I can tell my friends up and down when they’re speaking through a limiting belief or they’re making up ideas assuming them as truths. But when it comes to myself… LOL.

      I have limiting beliefs about all kinds of things. “They’ll think I’m weak and unstable” if I open up or get vulnerable with people, or I “can’t meet a partner until I lose weight, because no one would want to be with me as I am now” are examples of really specific ones I have. But they also come up naturally: “I could never start a business,” “I’m not good at that,” “I’m bad at relationships.” I have limiting beliefs about my performance at work, my friendships, my relationship with my family, my habits, my productivity—you name it, and I’ve probably created a false reality about it in my head. Limiting beliefs can even be pretty specious, to the point that you might not even recognize at first that it isn’t actually factual.
      After a few sessions, my therapist caught on to a few of them and suggested I start reframing these thoughts. At first, I was like, “Yeah, sure, that’ll work.” In practice, it doesn’t seem like it could be that effective. “I’m bad at everything” becomes “I am open-minded and try everything, which makes it hard for me to become a master at any one thing.” But when we got more specific and took more time to focus on how I could reframe that thought, fireworks went off. Immediately, I noticed that my mood and ability to cope with negative emotions improved. 

      I have limiting beliefs about my performance at work, my friendships, my relationship with my family, my habits, my productivity—you name it, and I’ve probably created a false reality about it in my head.

      Since this has helped me so much the last couple of months, I’m ramping it up in 2021. The positive, healthy, mentally-well me has arrived! Here are a few ways I’ve used thought-reframing to manage my emotions and adjust the self-talk I experience, plus a few tips you can use to make 2021 your healthiest mental year yet:

      Keep A Journal
      My therapist recommended I dedicate a journal entirely for thought reframing. She said that when I have really negative thoughts that seem to pervade me—or even as time goes on, focusing on the little thoughts that come up throughout the day—to immediately write them down. And don’t judge yourself. If your first thought is that you suck and are the worst person ever, same! The whole point is noticing how often you have these thoughts. It makes sense why we’d feel down or sad if we’re constantly telling ourselves that we do, in fact, suck. 
      Then, at the end of the day or week, I go through all of the thoughts I’ve compiled and work on how I would reframe them. And when I really need a minute to calm down and regroup, I’ll do it right there, sometimes in the notes app on my phone. This has been a game-changer for me. I slowly am starting to see patterns in my thinking and discovering how I’ve managed let these intrusive thoughts take over for so long. 
      Some examples of thoughts I’ve reframed:
      “I look so ugly today” → “I’m really proud of how I did my hair and makeup today.”
      “I never have any good ideas” → “I prioritize ideation, and it’s a skill that I’m proud of at work.” 
      “I’m a bad employee because I missed a deadline” → “I am working so hard to produce work that is high-quality, and sometimes that is sacrificial.”
      “I’ll never meet someone unless I lose weight” → “I want someone to love me for me as I am right now, not someone who wants a different version of me.”

      If your first thought is that you suck and are the worst person ever, same! The whole point is noticing how often you have these thoughts. It makes sense why we’d feel down or sad if we’re constantly telling ourselves that we do, in fact, suck. 

      Source: rawpixel

      Try hot-to-cool thinking
      When reframing an entire thought seems a little daunting, hot-to-cool thinking is what my therapist recommended. Basically, instead of going from “I’m the worst” to “I’m the best!” you go from “I’m the worst” to “I’m working on it.” We don’t have to immediately love ourselves; that takes time. And even if you do love yourself, you get tripped up and have negative thoughts, maybe even often. It’s human, unfortunately, to be hard on ourselves and go to a negative place when we want to avoid feeling an emotion we don’t like, such as jealousy, sadness, fear, or anger. So, simply cool down your thoughts.
      Some other examples: 
      “I’m bad at my job” →  “I’m facing a few new challenges right now.” 
      “I’ll always be single” → “Being single doesn’t feel great right now. I would like to work on meeting someone.” 
      “I’m ugly” →  “Everyone has different taste; who I find attractive is not the same as who someone else does. Because of this, looks are so subjective.” 
      “I’ll never have enough money to live comfortably” → “I can provide myself the necessities right now, but I’ll have to find another stream of income to have extra spending money.”

      It’s human, unfortunately, to be hard on ourselves and go to a negative place when we want to avoid feeling an emotion we don’t like, such as jealousy, sadness, fear, or anger.

      Recognize when an intrusive thought is taking over
      The second you start to recognize that you’re catastrophizing or getting stuck in a loop of limiting beliefs, simply recognize it. Notice how it feels. Are your palms sweaty? Did you tense up? Is your posture hunched? Do you feel a temperature change? For one, when we can see how our body naturally responds to stress, it’s easier to understand how and why it’s not good for us. When you notice your jaw lock during a particularly stressful day and you move around to try to help it, there’s an immediate release involved. 

      Notice how it feels. Are your palms sweaty? Did you tense up? Is your posture hunched? Do you feel a temperature change?

      But there’s also importance in recognizing the thought so you can give yourself compassion. My therapist is constantly telling me to just stop and place my hand on my heart. Engage in self-compassion and love. Remind yourself that it’s OK to feel negative emotions. This alone has been a game-changer, and it’s so simple and can be done anytime, anywhere.   More

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      in health and weelbeing

      8 Tips for a Successful and Easy Whole30—From Someone Who’s Done It

      by

      Last January, I completed my Everest; the thing I’d been saying I’d do for years, but never actually pulled the trigger on: finishing Whole30. My reason for doing Whole30 was simple: I have an absolutely horrible stomach, and my doctor had been begging me to do an elimination diet for literal years. But it never felt like a perfect time to do it (newsflash: it will never be a perfect time to do it), and then one day, I couldn’t take it anymore and decided it was time to try to figure out my food sensitivities once and for all. 
      Throughout my experience, I had a lot of highs and even more lows, but I did finish the whole 30 days and learned a lot along the way. Thinking of doing Whole30 yourself? Here’s how to survive it while suffering a little less than I did:

      1. Know why you’re doing it
      Despite what you might think, Whole30 is not a weight-loss diet. You don’t count calories or restrict carbs or anything of the sort, and you’re strongly advised to not weigh yourself during the entire process—because it isn’t the point! The point is to take a step back to evaluate how you’re eating, find out what makes you feel good, and nourish your body with real foods for a while. If you’re thinking of doing it for weight loss, it probably isn’t for you.

      2. Give yourself time to prepare before you start
      Want to know how my Whole30 journey began? The day after Christmas of 2019, I decided January was going to be the time I finally did Whole30. I went to the grocery store to get all of the ingredients I needed, and while I was at the grocery store, realized everything I had eaten so far that day was Whole30 compliant. I thought, “Why waste a day?” and decided to start right there with no preparation.
      Any Whole30 veteran will tell you that this should have been a fatal mistake. In my opinion, all of your success is going to ride on whether or not you’re prepared. If I could go back, I would have given myself a full week ahead of my start date for preparation. I could use basically nothing that I had in my fridge (condiments, butter, the works), and making sure you’re stocked with things that are compliant is absolutely key. Research recipes, come up with a meal calendar, and go into it ready to go. I can’t recommend the Whole30 Book enough to help with this.

      3. Meal prep, meal prep, meal prep
      Whether or not you’re usually a meal prepper, preparing your meals before you need them is so, so important. When you inevitably have situations where you’re hungry and ready for a meal, needing to figure out a Whole30 compliant meal is truly hell. If you really don’t like meal prepping, at least have your ingredients cut up and stored in your fridge and know what meals you’re going to be eating a few days out. 

      3. Mentally prepare for how you’re going to feel
      Think you’re going to immediately have clear skin and feel like you can run a marathon? Guess again. 
      A few days into Whole30, I literally felt like I was going to die. I was completely lethargic and could have slept all day, every day—and that’s how you’re supposed to feel. One of my favorite things about The Whole30 book is that it breaks down how you’re going to feel every day, and it’s completely spot-on. You aren’t going to feel good until at least halfway through, and getting to that point is really tough (most people quit around day 10-11 because that’s when you feel the worst).
      You’d think that eating exclusively whole foods would make you feel amazing, but your body is going to withdraw from the things it’s used to (looking at you, sugar), and there’s no getting around the slump you’ll feel those first two weeks. I, of course, didn’t know this before I started, but once I got the book and could track how I was supposed to feel each day, the process got much easier.

      4. Stock up on compliant condiments
      Whole30 has been around for quite some time, which luckily means that many health food companies have gotten on board and created condiments and sauces that are made exclusively with Whole30-compliant ingredients. 
      My personal favorite compliant brand is Primal Kitchen—a year later, I still use mostly their condiments because they taste so good and are an easy, healthier swap. (Pro tip: their chipotle mayo was my favorite thing throughout the entire process!)

      5. Have snacks ready in case of emergency
      Yes, one of the rules of Whole30 is that snacking isn’t allowed, but sometimes, things happen, and you literally just need to get something into your stomach. It is absolutely vital to have things on-hand for when that happens. It’s probably going to be a handful of nuts or an Rx bar (not all Rx bars are compliant—I’d recommend researching which ones are beforehand and ordering yourself a full box of them).

      6. Get a handle on what’s allowed—and what’s not
      Hours and hours of your Whole30 are going to be spent reading nutrition labels. I cannot tell you how much time I spent on Whole30 looking at the labels of everything I picked up and then needing to research specific ingredients to see if they’re allowed. Of course, you aren’t going to memorize an entire list of allowed ingredients (especially since some are so weird and sound forbidden), but getting a handle on the common ones will save you loads of time throughout the journey.

      The 30 Whole Days app is magic for one reason: it has a function where you can scan the barcode on a food container, and it will tell you whether or not it’s allowed. It doesn’t have every food under the sun, but it also has a search bar where you can research a specific ingredient and it will tell you whether or not it’s approved. It is so much easier than constantly turning to your book or going through Google trying to figure out if something is allowed. 

      8. Remember that it’s only 30 days
      Whole30 is tough—really, really tough. I struggled quite a bit through mine and am adamant about never doing it again. But it helped me figure out my food sensitivities, and it’s important to remember that it’s only 30 days of your life—and you can do anything for 30 days. Doing Whole30 once changed my relationship with food and knowledge of what makes my body feel good so much, and even though it was a struggle, it was very much worth it.  More