Wellness

Subterms

    More stories

    • 138 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      10 Rituals I’ll Be Using to Stay Healthy During the Holidays

      by

      If the holidays were exactly like the carols we sing, the season would be a happy, peaceful montage of cozying up by the fire and riding in a sleigh. Unfortunately, that’s not all it is. It’s also a lot of traveling, busy schedules, spending half of your bank account on gifts, and stress-eating the yule log (what even is a yule log, anyway!?). If we’re not prepared, the holidays can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and just plain unhealthy. As a holistic health coach, I’m currently working with clients to prepare their minds, bodies, and habits so that the holidays can be as enjoyable, stress-free, and healthy as possible. Here are 10 rituals that I’ll be using myself to stay healthy through New Year’s Eve that can help you stay healthy too:
      1. Ditching food rules
      I used to have the idea in the back of my head that pumpkin pie, croissant rolls, mac n’ cheese, and all the other holiday dishes I loved were “bad.” Sure, it was a special occasion, but eating what I wanted at Thanksgiving or Christmas always felt like I had to make up for it later, or since it was a one-time thing, I’d binge until I was sick. Since then, I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as “bad” or “good” when it comes to diet: some foods have more nutritional value than others, but you’re not “bad” when you want to eat something with less nutritional value. When we put a moral value on foods, what’s meant to nourish us becomes associated with guilt.
      De-mystifying holiday foods and permitting yourself to eat whatever you want helps you be more in better control of your food choices. This season, I will mindfully indulge, knowing I never limit or deprive myself, whether it’s the holidays or not. Therefore, I will choose to eat smaller portions and crave more nutritious foods because getting rid of food rules will stop the want-what-you-can’t-have allure that comes with labeling foods as “off-limits.”

      2. Focusing on adding more veggies
      Thanks to ditching food rules, you bet I will be enjoying mashed potatoes, cornbread, and pasta. But I also know that those foods just don’t make me feel good. After eating too much gluten, dairy, or sugar, I feel sluggish, uncomfortably bloated, and typically get stomach aches or headaches. To stay my healthiest self and enjoy this time with my family as much as possible, I’ll still eat whatever I want (totally guilt-free), but my focus for each meal will be on adding more veggies to the plate. Holiday side dishes like Brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, and the salad that no one touches are filled with good-for-you nutrients that will make me feel energized and satisfied. I’ll fill up my plate with the nutrients my body needs, while still being able to enjoy the traditional holiday foods that I love. 

      Source: @alainakaz

      3. Getting extra sleep
      On holiday vacation, getting a lot of sleep is a given. I’m back in my childhood room, I’m wearing cozy AF pajamas, and I don’t have to wake up at 6:30am for work–the odds of good sleep are very much in my favor. Luckily for my health goals, that extra sleep is not just a perk of a national holiday; it can also help me stay healthy. Getting enough quality sleep is beneficial for many reasons, like improving mood and energy. Plus, sleep will help me make better food decisions. Cravings (especially sugar cravings) can be worsened by lack of sleep, so if you’re not getting a good 7-9 hours, that gingerbread cookie or pumpkin pie could sound a lot more appetizing. Bottom line: the holidays are a time of laughter and family, but I’m also using them as a time to rest and restore.  

      4. Moving my body every day
      Traditionally, I was the 60-minute-workout-class-or-nothing kind of girl. Previous years, I stopped working out whenever I was traveling or my beloved exercise studios closed for the holidays. But this year is going to be different. Back in March, when the stay-at-home order hit and all gyms closed down, I was forced to fit in movement however I could, rather than depending on expensive workout classes. I started to notice I was actually listening to my body–not only about when to workout, but how (does my body need to burn some energy and dance around the living room, or does it need a relaxing yoga session?).
      Now, movement is a part of my daily routine. I don’t do a workout class or yoga flow because I’m supposed to; I do it because it will make my mind and body feel good. And I wouldn’t want to give that feeling up, whether I’m in my normal routine or at my family’s house for Thanksgiving. Some days, that movement might look like an online workout class, while other days it will look like a walk with my mom or stretching on the floor while watching a Christmas movie. No matter what kind, movement has become a non-negotiable for helping me feel my best.

      5. Having snacks before big meals 
      Another sad habit younger Josie used to have: during a day like Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve when I knew I’d be eating a lot of food, I’d barely eat anything earlier that day so I could go to the meal super hungry. Part of it was thinking that feeling ~famished~ would help me enjoy the meal more, but mostly it was to “save calories” that I could then spend on the indulgent dinner.
      However, not only is limiting foods depriving your body of crucial nutrients, but if you’re hungry and blood sugar is low, you won’t be able to make decisions based on what your body really wants (not to mention the punch hits a lot quicker). Instead, I’ll be eating at least two meals pre-feast that are filled with protein, fiber, and healthy fats to prevent hunger and low blood sugar later in the day. I will also fit in some additional nutrients like carrots, celery, or leafy greens when I know the next meal would be less nutrient-dense (looking at you, Christmas-Eve fettuccine!).

      Source: @josie.santi

      6. Keeping up with a daily probiotic
      Being the health nut that I am, I have the most stereotypical amount of supplements (they take up multiple shelves). I always put adaptogens in my coffee, love experimenting with Chinese and Ayurvedic herbs, and have never met an all-natural label that I didn’t like. However, I’m not planning on lugging around massive pill cases and supplement bottles while traveling. Instead, I’ll be packing the one non-negotiable supplement that will help me stay healthy through the holidays: a probiotic. Probiotics help keep your gut healthy, which basically keeps the rest of your body healthy too: the gut is connected to the brain, the immune system, and even your skin. If you’re looking for a one-stop-shop for a healthy body, the gut is it. Taking a probiotic also helps me digest better, reduces bloat, and keeps me, um, regular. It’s worth the luggage room.

      7. Practicing intuitive eating
      Holiday meals are proof that we don’t just eat to survive or because something tastes good; we eat for enjoyment, social connection, ritual, and celebration. Instead of scarfing down food (as tempting as that is!), I’m focusing on using mealtime as a mindfulness practice. Whether it’s Thanksgiving dinner or a plate of Christmas cookies on the counter while you’re working from home, practice eating intuitively. Notice the smells and tastes of the food, take time to thoroughly chew, and feel thankful for the nourishment you’re receiving (’tis the season!). Notice how your body is feeling and stop when you’re no longer hungry. I try to practice intuitive eating all the time, but the holidays require extra focus to make meals sacred, mindful, and intentional. 

      Source: @tourdelust

      8. Making time for myself
      To my family (and most families), the holiday season usually looks like the McCallisters before a vacation: rushed, busy, and crowded. I have a big family, and we always like to fill the holidays with lots of togetherness, parties, and traditions. The holiday season in 2020 will look a little different: it will just be my parents and siblings instead of cousins, aunts, and uncles. We’ll also be staying at home instead of running around the city or traveling to see family. While I’m most excited to finally be with my loved ones again (I’ve been quarantined in LA for way too long!), I am also going to give myself time to be alone. Whether that means going on walks in the mornings or taking a bath before bed, making time for self-care (even during times when I’m not focusing on myself) will help keep stress levels low and improve how connected I feel to my body.

      9. Cooking for my family
      In my opinion, it’s possible to make every traditional holiday dish healthier. Even replacing conventional butter with organic butter reduces some of the added chemicals and toxins, or adding chopped spinach to the sauce can boost nutrients. Healthy cooking doesn’t have to sacrifice taste, and trying to eat healthier does not have to mean you forego your favorite foods.
      To me, healthy cooking is one way I show love. Call me weird, but making a quinoa dish for my dad or getting my lamb-chop-and-bourbon-loving grandma to eat some leafy greens makes me feel so happy. In my mind, cooking healthy dishes is like giving the people I love and want to live as long as possible the nutrients that help them do that. The fact that I get to eat those nutrients and delicious dishes too is just a bonus. Not sure where to start? Check out these plant-based Thanksgiving recipes that even your most critical aunt will love.

      Source: @ebethgillette

      10. Being open to new traditions
      I know I’m sounding like a broken Bing Crosby record at this point, but this holiday season is not going to look like holiday seasons of Christmas past. While that means missing out on a lot of happy traditions, it also means we have the opportunity to take a look at traditions that are no longer bringing us joy: rushed holiday shopping, expensive wishlists, and busy schedules.
      I also think it will be interesting to see what new traditions you can try out this year that might carry into next: taking a walk after dinner, baking pumpkin bread with your sister, playing in the snow, or a cooking a dish that’s so good, you’ll want to bring to every future Thanksgiving. With the removal of old traditions we’ve kept without question for years, we have the opportunity to incorporate new traditions that are not only good for our souls, but good for our bodies too. I’ll be taking this season to find some new worthwhile traditions, and I hope you will too! 

      What rituals are you using to stay your healthiest this season? More

    • 125 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      Why Imposter Syndrome Can Make You Your Own Worst Enemy

      by

      I speak fast when I’m nervous. Scratch that: I always speak fast, but when I’m nervous my speed kicks into high gear to the point where it can be difficult to understand me. The first time I had to give an important presentation in the workplace, I was understandably nervous. As part of my training, I knew my colleagues were planning to give me feedback post-presentation, which made me even more nervous. Once the presentation was over, I received overwhelmingly positive feedback. The only negative feedback? I spoke too fast. Sigh.It was at that moment that I realized that being nervous about doing a good job led to my nerves getting in my way. From there on out, I realized that a lack of confidence and those creeping feelings of imposter syndrome did nothing but hurt me. Now, even if I am nervous about a job interview or an important meeting, I push those nerves to the side. I know that if I give into them, they’re just going to get in my way, which in turn gives me one less thing to worry about.
      Being excited about an opportunity, feeling nervous, and lacking confidence can all lead to falling head first into an imposter syndrome black hole. Here’s why you can’t give into those feelings.

      Imposter syndrome isn’t productive
      There’s a dangerous perception spreading around the inspirational spaces of the internet that you have to shut imposter syndrome out completely, and that you can never let those feelings of doubt or insecurity even cross your mind. That’s a really unfair standard to set, and one that can make you feel even worse when you are struggling with imposter syndrome. It’s OK to have feelings associated with imposter syndrome, as long as you can set them aside before they begin to harm you.
      For example, if you’re scrolling through LinkedIn and see your dream job pop up, it’s totally understandable to worry you aren’t qualified based on the job description, but it’s not OK to choose to not apply because you don’t feel like you deserve your dream job. You can feel insecure when pitching a potential client, as long as you don’t lower your prices drastically just because they have a different idea of what your time is worth.
      Imposter syndrome is so unproductive, so acknowledge your feelings, remind yourself of where these feelings stem from and why you’re ready to move past them, and then go ahead and check imposter syndrome off your to-do list.

      Source: Gabriele Gzimailaite

      Skip the self-fulfilling prophecy
      Similar to how I learned that my fears about doing a bad job while public speaking make me actually do a bad job while public speaking, there are countless ways that imposter syndrome can lead to the exact results you were afraid of. If we tell ourselves we aren’t worthy of an exciting new opportunity, don’t put ourselves out there at networking events, or are afraid to start that business because we’ll never sell a single product, then what will happen? We won’t gain the new opportunity we wanted so badly; we won’t make any valuable new connections; we won’t ever start that business. If you succumb to imposter syndrome, you end up with the same results that imposter syndrome makes you feel will come to fruition. So what’s the point in giving in instead of taking that shot?

      Source: Andrew Neel

      You owe yourself more
      Nowadays, I don’t have to do much public speaking. As a freelance writer, I tend to stick to the written word, but there are countless other ways imposter syndrome creeps into my daily life. Is it a waste of time to pitch that really cool publication? Does anyone want me to share my work on my Instagram Stories? Can I really ask for that rate? I can’t get an answer to these questions unless I move forward. I won’t know if a publication will reject me until I pitch them. I won’t know if I can raise my rates until I try. I won’t get feedback on my work until I put it out into the world. One day I realized I owed it to myself to try. Do I get rejected? All the time. But rejection gets way easier to deal with once you’ve faced it a few times. Not to mention, by putting myself out there more and more, I don’t have all of my eggs in one basket, and don’t find myself as disappointed if something doesn’t work out.
      We all owe it to ourselves to try. This sounds cheesy, but do you really think at the end of anyone’s life that they wished they didn’t put themselves out there as much? Probably not. You without a doubt owe it to yourself to stop letting imposter syndrome be your own worst enemy. I know that is so much easier said than done, but try to remember that next time imposter syndrome is about to take hold. You’re a total badass and you’ve got this, no matter what that voice in the back of your head says. More

    • 138 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      15 Books to Read if You Need a Mental Health Boost

      by

      Some days we feel scared, some days we feel sad, some days we feel stressed, and some days we just feel blah. Luckily for us (and 2020), the best cure for a bad day is a good book (and maybe a tub of ice cream?). Whether you’re looking for an escape, some tangible advice, or major inspiration, there’s a book out there that can help boost your mood, reduce stress, and make you feel motivated. Forget laughter–these 15 books truly are the best medicine when you need a mental health boost (and some will make you laugh too). Add to cart or your Kindle cue now if you’re going through a tough time, to have ready for rainy days, or to gift to a friend that could use some extra inspiration. 

      Oprah Winfrey
      The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations

      So you need a little pick-me-up? The obvious answer: Oprah. Always. The very best “aha” moments from “Super Soul Sunday” are compiled into this deeply encouraging collection of interviews between Oprah and some of the world’s most inspiring leaders. If you’ve been lacking purpose, motivation, or feel lost, this is the book for you.

      John P. Forsyth PhD and Georg H. Eifert PhD
      Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

      If you feel like anxiety is taking over your life (who doesn’t in 2020?), this quick reference guide offers one simple tool or strategy for every single week of the year, so you can work to less stress and anxiety, one step at a time. There’s also some in-the-moment tips to stay calm when you’re having a particularly stressful workday or in an anxious state. By 2022, you could be totally stress-free!

      Lalah Delia
      Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power

      Looking for inspiration to tap into your inner power and become your best self? Instagram superstar, Lalah Deliah, put her self-help wisdom into this comprehensive book that teaches we have control over situations and our emotions. “Vibrating Higher Daily” helps you make intentional day-to-day choices that lift you out of mindsets, habits, and lifestyles that don’t serve you, and into ones that do.

      Gretchen Rubin
      The Happiness Project

      Gretchen Rubin set out on an entire year dedicated to happiness. The result? One of the most helpful and life-changing works of positive psychology that teaches us how to actually be happy. I love “The Happiness Project” because it combines personal anecdotes, scientific research, and wisdom from the past to help us not only achieve happiness, but re-examine what we all want out of life.

      Gabrielle Bernstein
      Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams

      Filled with tangible tools like the “Choose Again Method” for reframing negative and boosting your mood, “Super Attractor” is a more spiritual approach to a mental health pick-me-up, with essential tips to live in alignment with the universe to create the life that you want.

      Elaine Welteroth
      More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

      If you love memoirs, “More Than Enough” is the memoir that will simultaneously entertain you and boost your confidence, happiness, and purpose. Welteroth unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey, while offering advice to readers who need a reminder that they’re f*cking awesome.

      Good Vibes, Good Life

      You may have heard of Vex King from his killer Instagram posts that regularly go viral from their profound advice and relatable inspiration. His book is just as good as his Instagram, only with a little more detail. “Good Vibes, Good Life” draws from his personal experience and intuitive wisdom to help you practice self-care, cultivate positive habits, manifest your goals using tried-and-true techniques, overcome fear, and find a higher purpose to be a shining light for others. It’s like Oprah’s book club for millennials.

      Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
      The Book of Joy

      Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama have faced major hardships, yet continue to radiate love, compassion, and even humor despite what they’ve been through. The two inspirational icons dive into the topic of joy: how do you find it in the face of suffering, and when you do find it, how do you keep it? Read if you’re looking for some serious inspiration or need a little extra joy during a very hard time.

      Michael A. Singer
      The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

      The perfect combination of psychology and spirituality, “The Untethered Soul” delves into what we can do to free ourselves from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit our consciousness and hold us back. By the end of the book, you’ll not only understand yourself better than you ever have, but you’ll feel in control of your emotions (yes, even stress, anxiety, and worry).

      Carissa Potter
      It’s OK To Feel Things Deeply

      If self-help books aren’t really your style and you need some real-time support, this cheeky (but helpful!) book is the perfect option. With practical tips, genuine empathy, helpful honesty, adorable illustrations, and relatable humor, it’s full of support when you need a little extra love. It also makes a great gift for a friend going through a tough time.

      Elizabeth Gilbert
      Eat, Pray, Love

      Even if you haven’t read this modern classic yet, you’ve probably seen the blockbuster hit with Julia Roberts that made you want to move to Bali and eat pasta (simultaneously). This memoir is always a go-to read for me when I’m feeling stuck or complacent. Especially in 2020 when we’re literally stuck, it not only offers an escape, but there’s something about a realistic happy ending that makes me feel hopeful, even when I’m feeling lost.

      Marianne Williamson
      A Return to Love

      Maybe it sounds cheesy, but the key to happiness, stress reduction, and a constant good mood? Williamson makes the case that the answer is love. She shows us how love is a potent force, the key to inner peace, and how, by practicing love for other people, we can make our own lives more fulfilling. This is one of those books that changes you, so get ready for a life-altering read.

      Jenny Lawson
      You Are Here: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds

      A combination of inspiration, therapy, coloring, humor, and advice, this book is filled with intricate illustrations and life advice on how to cope. The writing is both humorous and incredibly honest, so “You Are Here” will be a tool to help you deal with tough life situations in a confident, creative, and happier way. Read if art is therapeutic to you.

      Shonda Rhimes
      Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

      Yes, THAT Shonda Rhimes: the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal,” and basically all of our other favorite shows. In this inspiring book, Rhimes opens up about the year she decided to say “yes” to everything. Spoiler alert: the results are life-changing. Read if work is bringing you down or you’re not sure what you’re meant to do with your life.

      What’s your go-to book to read when you need a pick-me-up? More

    • 138 Shares

      in beauty and fashion

      25 Gifts to Ask For to Kickstart Your New Year’s Resolutions

      by

      Just because the holiday season isn’t exactly normal this year doesn’t mean you can throw out every goal and idea you have for 2021. Actually, I predict 2021 will be a huge year for setting new goals and resolutions—I mean if we’ll be inside, what else is there to do but crush your goals? As the holidays roll around, your parents, in-laws, significant others, and friends might be bugging you about what gifts you’re hoping to find under the tree this year. And somehow the age-old proverb exists: when someone asks what you want, every single thing you’ve even seen or heard of flies out of your head like magic. Instead of worrying about how you’ll reach all of those health and fitness goals the second the clock strikes midnight on January 1, make it a point to ask for those essential items 2021 you will need early. When it comes to fitness and health, there’s one brand that immediately comes to mind, and you’re probably picturing that iconic swoosh in your head right now too: Nike. They have everything you need for the best workouts, online yoga classes, and lounging days—and they’re perfect to add to your holiday wishlist. Most items are available up to a size 2XL (equaling a 20-22), but they also have a wide range of plus-size options available to choose from. They have tons of items available this year, so we did the hard work for you to find the best pieces. No matter what your resolutions are this year, we’ve rounded up the best items to add to your list for Santa. 

      Make outdoor winter workouts a breeze: 

      Run that 5K in no time: 

      Make self-care an everyday event:

      This post was sponsored by Nike, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

    • 163 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      I’m a Black Woman and I Don’t Know How to Celebrate My Accomplishments

      by

      “You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams, you are the epitome of what Martin Luther King Jr. marched for,” said my friend Steven. This statement took me back for a second. I knew what he was implying with his statement, I just didn’t know how to feel about it. During that moment, I started to think about how this a common feeling I had since I graduated high school. Hearing these words brought back a lot of feelings that have plagued my mind since I started my undergraduate studies. Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”? Which is a popular saying in the Black community. I always had some of my family and friends hype me up about the opportunities that I have been fortunate to have. But honestly, I always felt like I still wasn’t good enough. It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 
      Feeling like I “made it” gave me sorrow about Black people who would never know the feeling because they had the opportunity to live to see their full potential. Feeling like I “made it” gave me doubt about what my future held since I accomplished a lot in my early 20s. The feeling of accomplishing a goal was never an easy feeling for me. I would feel immense gratitude for how far I came, and then a rush of sadness came over me because it was a voice in my head telling me I just got lucky and one day it would not always be that way. A feeling of self-doubt would tell me that I was not worthy of the dreams I had in my head. Anxiety told me that I was only achieving my dreams because I was the token Black girl and I made white people feel comfortable. Not knowing how to celebrate my accomplishments started when I was in elementary school. 

      Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”

      In elementary school, I loved reading, and my mother did too, so we would go to the library every weekend to find a good book to dive into. Reading became my safe haven from the world and let me explore life beyond the subsidized housing I lived in. I was able to put myself in someone else’s shoes for a short period of time. I was able to learn about things that “project kids” never had the chance to learn or experience. Since I loved reading, this helped me excel in school and get ahead of many of my peers. I was always praised by my parents for my good grades and excelling in different subjects in school. 

      It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 

      The praise and congratulations went on into high school and college. I was always made to feel like I was on top of the world. In retrospect, I have learned that this was a contributing factor to why I felt like I couldn’t slow down and appreciate my wins. I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead, and never get too comfortable with what I had. This is a problem that not only I deal with, but the reality of what people of color, especially Black people, have to deal with. When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

      I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead and never get too comfortable with what I had.

      I recently spoke to a friend of mine who expressed on social media that she always felt like she wasn’t doing a good enough job at work and the pressure she always felt at work, regardless of what her superiors told her. She said that the hardest part about being a Black woman in corporate America/non-profit is, “We aren’t afforded bad days, passion, frustration, or disappointment. Every negative emotion we may have is an attitude of aggression. We aren’t even allowed to be introverted or shy because then we are mean, stand-offish, or unapproachable. This is especially problematic in the non-profit sector because of the emphasis put on the donor opinions and experiences.”
      When Black women constantly feel this way at work, it often seeps into our personal lives. We often think our accomplishments or wins won’t matter when the dust settles because it’s always “what’s next.” We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man, or the promotion, we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?” I asked my same friend, “Would you say you know how to celebrate your accomplishments? And she expressed to me it is difficult for her to acknowledge them. “Honestly it is difficult. A lot of times I look at things like ‘this is what I was supposed to do.’ This is no different than what Black women also feel in their personal lives. Society looks at us as being the “strong” one because of what they have made us endure and what we keep allowing. But when you feel like you are already a minority, you already know you have to work 20 times harder than anyone else, Black and white people included, we often feel like being strong and enduring what is thrown at us is what we are designed to do. 

      When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

      In most of my jobs, relationships, and friendships, I always felt like I had to know how to take pain and suffering as the first step in order to reap the rewards. As I sit back and think of what I have accomplished and how I accomplished it, it all was derived from pain. I wanted to excel in college because I know most people like me don’t get the opportunity. Pain. I moved to New York to have better opportunities and felt ostracized and dealt with systematic racism. Pain. I found one of my passions for working in Diversity and Inclusion, but if I had not attended a predominantly white graduate school and faced racism and prejudice for the majority of my days, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But it was all derived from pain and suffering that America chooses as a weapon to make Black women feel inadequate for what they want to accomplish.

      We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man or the promotion we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?”

      Sometimes it’s hard to decipher whether something is right for me if I didn’t have to suffer first to get it. This is an ongoing struggle for not just Black women, but also Black people. We always work 20 times harder, we are always thinking about our next goal, what we are going to do next and if suffering or obstacles are not attached to them—it feels too good to be true. 
      Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else. It is a never-ending cycle that we have to go through in order for people to see our worth. Just because you think we are strong, doesn’t mean we have to always showcase that trait every day. 

      Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else.

      There is no right solution to make Black women feel like they don’t have to wear the weight of the world on their shoulders. It is a learned habit that America and the people who have made up their own idea of what a Black woman is before getting to learn them. It will take years and decades to untwine the idea of what a Black woman is or is not. 
      Black women deserve the same dignity, rights, protection, and grace that is given out so freely to everyone but them. In order for Black women to get the chance to heal, feel, celebrate, and accomplish their desires, society has to change the narrative that has kept Black women in a box.  More

    • 150 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      I Tried On These 5-Star Workout Clothes from Amazon—Here Are My Thoughts

      by

      The world of workout apparel is pretty weird. One day you’re shopping with your mom at Dick’s Sporting Goods for shorts to wear at track practice, and all of the sudden you’re an adult being told that the absolute only pair of leggings you should ever wear cost a casual $130.I am someone who does work out a lot (queue eye roll), but I’ve never let myself join the bandwagon of paying for overpriced workout gear. If I’m spending an exorbitant of money on something I’m wearing, it’s going to be something I get to use to create a fashion moment for myself, not something I’m going to sweat through in 10 minutes. But the unfortunate truth is that when it comes to workout clothes, sometimes feeling confident is half the battle (and I wouldn’t wish leggings that are slipping down during a workout on my worst enemy).
      On the opposite end of the workout gear hype spectrum is Amazon—something I’ve never tried, but that definitely caught my interest. Thousands of reviewers leaving five-star claims can’t be wrong, right? I set out to see and tried the highest-reviewed workout pieces on Amazon (hint: you’re going to regret those $130 leggings real quick).

      While I love bike shorts on other people, I’ve never exactly loved them on me. I don’t have the longest legs in the world, and I usually feel like they make me look shorter and stockier than I am, but these are definitely the best I’ve found. They don’t create a weird bulge where they end (which some with really tight seams have done on me) and are super comfortable and the perfect amount of high-waisted. 
      This long-sleeved crop top is something I’d wear both to work out and in my normal life as athleisure. It’s perfect for a cool all-black moment and isn’t super thin but isn’t as thick as a sweatshirt material either. Sometimes you don’t want something super tight on your torso, and that fits that bill while still feeling like you’re in something you’re meant to work out in.

      This. sports. bra. Holy cow. I’ve never tried on anything quite like it, and when I put it on, I spent some time just admiring it from all angles in the mirror. It’s that sweet spot of length where it feels like it could be worn as a top on it’s on, the back is criss-crossy and amazingly cool, and it’s super, super supportive. This is one worth buying in a few colors and living in both while you’re working out and when you’re not. I cannot say enough good things about this bra.
      These leggings, in my opinion, are really good for lounging, but not so much for sweating in. They’re a bit thicker material, and when I worked out in them, I didn’t like how they felt clung to my body. But everyone needs a perfect, warm black pair of leggings for winter, and they could fit that bill perfectly.

      If you’re planning on walking or running outside for exercise this winter, you need these shirts. It was cold in Chicago last week, and I needed something to layer under my jacket and realized I, in fact, had nothing. This top is so unbelievably warm but doesn’t cling to your body in weird ways like some dry-fit materials do. They look just like a plain long-sleeve tee, but there’s nothing wrong with that when you’re just dressing for warmth.

      These leggings were the thing I was the most excited to try; I’ve seen these leggings everywhere this year with people swearing they’re their favorite leggings. They come in a ton of colors, and while I probably would have been boring and ordered black, those were going to take two weeks to ship, so I was convinced that it was a sign to order these fun wine-colored ones.
      These leggings are, in a word, incredible. They are thin and moisture-wicking but stay put and hug you in just the right amount. They’re seamless and feel like nothing is on your body in the best way possible. These are a 10/10.
      This workout top is nothing super out-of-the-box, but it’s uber-flattering and is perfect if you don’t want a dry-fit material in your tops (sometimes I don’t). Both of these are things I’d reach for before anything else in my athleticwear wardrobe.

      If you are someone who needs a high-impact sports bra, you have met your match. When I say that my boobs stay completely still in this, I absolutely mean it. There is no bouncing or discomfort, but it also doesn’t have me sucked in so tight that I’m uncomfortable. The back is also super fun, which brings a little something extra to it.
      I’ve found that high-impact sports bras are particularly hard to find—for whatever reason, I feel like most are meant for medium-impact—but this one is something I’ve been looking for for a really long time.

        I predict that this winter is going to be filled with lots of yoga since we’ll be stuck inside and won’t always have other activities we can do. This yoga top is so necessary—it’s lightweight, soft, and breathable. If you don’t think you need special clothes for yoga, I’ll say this: neither did I until I got this.

        More

    • 138 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      5 Ways to Get Your Heart Rate Up Indoors This Winter

      by

      I’m about to say something that makes me sound incredibly annoying: I absolutely love cardio. I ran track in middle and high school, and I get such a high from a hard run or a long spin class. In college, I tried to replicate the feeling with more ~trendy~ workouts like expensive barre or yoga classes—until I finally realized the key to my almighty endorphin high: I love getting my heart rate up and my breathing ragged, in a way that I just don’t feel can be accomplished with small, tight, more stationary movements. While I do love a relaxing yoga flow or the shaky burn of barre technique (and I do incorporate them into my routine as well!), cardio has historically been the most mentally beneficial for me.We are, however, in a global pandemic—and that (combined with the chilly weather) does not bode well for my workout preferences. While I have thus far been able to step outside and go for masked runs, it can feel disheartening to wonder how exactly you can get in a good workout while in the confines of your own home.
      Thankfully, I’ve done the work for you—and am now sharing how you too can get your heart thumping and your lungs pounding, even while stuck inside.

      Source: Obé Fitness

      1. A HIIT class that will make you forget you’re in your own home, not in a studio
      HIIT (which stands for high-intensity interval training) essentially reminds me of my high school volleyball practices—short intervals of various exercises and drills, designed to build endurance, get your heart rate up, and build muscle. I love the virtual HIIT classes from obé fitness for a few reasons: they’re nice and short (some as short as 10 minutes, but many come in at 28 minutes), they require little to no equipment (and any suggested equipment is completely optional), and they’re genuinely SO fun.

      The word “intensity” in the name sounds intimidating, but a HIIT class moves from exercise to exercise so quickly that there’s simply no time to get scared (or bored!). If you’re looking to quickly amp up your heart rate while also clearing your mind and gaining some energy and positivity to carry through the rest of your day, this is the move.

      Source: Colorjoy Stock

      2. Jumping jack breaks to spice things up
      No time to carve out a long workout? No problem. One of my favorite hacks for getting in some active minutes (I’m obsessed with closing my Apple Watch rings) is to take periodic jumping jack breaks at different times. If you’re trying to stay fired up throughout the day, you could challenge yourself to do 50 jumping jacks every hour, on the hour. You could do 100 jumping jacks right when you wake up or while waiting for your coffee to brew. Or, if you’re really feeling creative, you can challenge yourself to complete jumping jacks for the entire commercial break of your favorite show (or, for my fellow Netflix lovers, you could actually watch the intro song instead of skipping it, then spend that whole time jumping). I swear these little breaks give way more energy than they take away!

      Source: Urban Outfitters

      3. Pretending you’re out with your friends and dancing the night away
      There’s a bar near my apartment that has a sign outside that says “Mask up so we can dance again,” and it makes my heart clench every time I see it. I’m not afraid to say it: I MISS DANCING IN BARS. Until I can get back on those sticky dance floors (ew, why did I say that), I’ll instead crank up the One Direction and dance in my living room. Whether it’s for one song or an entire playlist (try this one), the simple act of letting loose and busting a move will put some pep in your step and a smile on your face. 
      Not one to cut a rug alone? No problem! I love the dance cardio classes from obé fitness, which teach you choreography while sneaking in some classic moves (high knees, anyone?). At first, they may cause you to feel completely uncoordinated—but the inclusive virtual atmosphere at obé can help anyone feel comfortable (even as comfortable as I feel with a drink in my hand and my party Vans on my feet!).
      Bonus: Get 50% off your first month of obé fitness (after a 7-day free trial!) with code TEG50.

      Source: Danielle Moss

      4. Who needs a treadmill when you have stairs?
      Yes, I’m telling you to take the stairs instead of the elevator when grabbing your mail or walking your dog—but I’m also reminding you that the stairs in your home can serve as a super valuable workout tool. Just as I used to run stairs in high school for agility and endurance training, the stairs in your home or apartment building can function in the same way. Whether it’s a few quick up-and-downs while your dinner’s in the microwave or a full-fledged workout (try running up and walking down as many times as you can, then see if you can get more day after day), the elevation difference adds an element to your workout that feels plenty different from running in place at home (because let’s face it, that would be deeply boring).

      Source: sirtravelalot | Shutterstock

      5. Sex is a workout!
      I’m not saying that having sex is a substitute for a good old-fashioned workout—but I am saying that it’s a simple way to get your heart rate up and release some oxytocin (and, frankly, can be a much more fun way to spend a lunch break than a run around the block). If you and your quarantine buddy are both looking to consensually and safely turn up the heat, sex can be a great way to move your body while stuck at home. (Bonus: Working out together can be excellent foreplay—so try a sexy dance class first, then move it to the bedroom!). Check this out for some of our best quarantine-friendly sex tips, and for those going solo, check THIS out for your new favorite quarantine sex toy.

      This post is sponsored by obé, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

    • 125 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      48 Hours Only: Our Favorite Wellness Gifts Are 30% off

      by

      It isn’t news that we love CBD around here. Whether it’s to calm the Sunday scaries, relieve sore muscles, soothe period cramps, and more, we’ve pretty much all added CBD to our daily routines in one way or another. The only problem is that CBD can get a little expensive, especially if you’re choosing a high-quality formula. But no fear this holiday season, our favorite CBD from Equilibria is on a major sale right now! *EEP!* For the next two days, Equilibria is offering 30 percent off your entire order when you purchase a holiday set. Snag a set for yourself and one for a loved one (we’ve personally found moms, brothers-in-law, neighbors, best friends, and caregivers to love it!), and you’ll already have some of your holiday shopping done in one fell swoop. If you’ve had your eye on a holiday set or wanted to try Equilibria on a budget, now’s your time to shop! New to CBD? Here are our editors’ favorites and how we use them. 

      when you purchase a holiday set

      Holiday Sets
      Source: Equilibria

      Equilibria
      Season of Intention Gift Set, $132

      $244 value
      What’s included:- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Daily Softgels, 10MG/30CT- Cranberry Elderflower Daily Drops, 300mg/30ML (Limited Edition)- NEW! Daily Treatment Oil for Face + Body, 500mg/1OZ- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Joy of Sleep Gift Set, $90

      $176 value
      What’s included:- Spiced Bergamot Daily Drops, 300MG/30ML (Limited Edition)- Daily Softgels, 10MG/30CT- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Luxury Sleep Mask- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Comfort of Calm Gift Set, $69

      $152 value
      What’s included:- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Relief Cream, 500MG/1OZ- NEW! Daily Treatment Oil for Face + Body, 250MG/0.5OZ- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Peace of Mind Gift Set, $55

      $128 value
      What’s included:- Cranberry Elderflower Daily Drops, 300MG/30ML (Limited Edition)- Dynamic Roller Duo, 75MG/10ML/Roller (Calming/Energizing)- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Editors’ Favorites:
      Source: Equilibria More