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      The One Product That Has Helped My Period Cramps

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      Hello! My name is Abigail. I’m an ENFP Type 7 Aries… aaaand I am VERY squeamish about anything medical. I don’t watch Grey’s (I know, the horror), those pimple-popping videos make me want to vomit, and I avoid going to the doctor at all costs (OK, that one I’m actively working on, but the rest is set in stone).I have, however, learned that it’s important to be in-tune with my OWN body, and to know my own cycle like the back of my hand. While I’ll never say that Derek Shepherd is my favorite man on TV (that title belongs to Schmidt and Schmidt alone), I can acknowledge and admit that it’s worthwhile to understand my own organs and systems (ugh, I didn’t even like typing that!).
      While knowledge is the key to understanding, knowledge itself (unfortunately) doesn’t make my period symptoms get better. That, instead, is a job for my favorite pain relief cream.

      Anyone with period cramps knows that they can be DEBILITATING. The cramping that comes before or during a period has the power to change your eating habits, your sleeping habits, your moods, and your overall LIFE… but with lots of important things to do in our days, we all deserve quick relief and minimal disruption.
      My periods typically last 4-6 days, with the first two days bringing with them some seriously painful cramps. I feel them deep in my lower abdomen and the tops of my thighs, with the pain often radiating around to my lower back as well. Every month, for those two days, I keep my Relief Cream with me at all times (and frequently lean back in my chair to moan with relief as I rub it into my abdomen). Not only can I feel the pain easing inside my body, but I can also feel a cooling sensation right on my skin (aka, it also works on sore muscles from working out or sleeping funny!). Since I’ve been using this cream (for over a year now!), I’ve noticed a dramatic shift in the severity of my pain, and I dread my periods less than I used to.

      Source: Equilibria

      Equilibria’s CBD products feature Colorado-grown, 100 percent full-spectrum hemp flower oil concentrate—and they provide relief and balance without any “high” feeling. Long story short? This cream (which is absorbed into the skin but doesn’t enter your bloodstream) is my favorite tool for fighting period cramps.
      While the cream is a product with many uses (and I’ve been known to rub it on shin splints and headaches as well), my personal favorite way to use it as my period secret weapon. A little bit goes a long way—but that little bit is, for me, the difference between a day spent whimpering in pain and a day spent normally.

      As per FDA guidelines, Equilibria CBD is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or ailment. As always, consult with your physician before starting any new program that may interact with your current health plan.
       

      This post is sponsored by Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      The 5 Healthy Habits I Strive for When I’m Feeling Unmotivated

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      Some days, I feel like a complete rockstar. I get up early, do my morning skincare routine, stay on top of my hydration game throughout the day, hit the gym, and shower. I fly through my to-do list, jump at opportunities to help coworkers, and create new tasks for myself. I feel social, I reach out to friends to see how they’re doing, and I am active in my family group chat.Other days, I feel like the human equivalent of a stale piece of bread. 
      It’s 100 percent normal to have good days and bad days. Those of you who have more good days than bad, I envy you! For me, especially this year, having a heavy amount of rough, unmotivated days has been more prominent. I’ve been trying really hard not to get too down on myself. Living alone and working from home has taken quite a toll on my mental health and, while I do my best to put my best foot forward (yay therapy! yay reaching out to friends! yay journaling!), some days I just straight up feel like garbage.
      Years ago, there was a darker time in my life where, on my days off from my job as a nurse, I literally wouldn’t get out of bed. If you’ve ever had one of those days… you already know. Feeling too anxious or depressed to get out of bed on top of feeling guilty for not being as motivated as you’re used to being is a vicious cycle and it can be tough to get out of. After too many days of feeling like an absolute blob, I made a not-feeling-so-great action plan to help me rebuild my confidence and to stay present on the days where I’m just not feeling it. Here are the five non-negotiable healthy habits that I prioritize on my most unmotivated days:

      1. Stay hydrated
      After I emerge from my nighttime slumber, I always, always, always rehydrate. Lately, I’ve been reaching for a big mason jar of hot lemon water to help me hydrate, improve digestion, and supplement some vitamin C. Drinking any kind of water is one of the easiest things you can do for your health and sets the tone for a better day. Trust me, being a dehydrated raisin withering away in bed is just not the move!

      2. Make a realistic to-do list
      I’m not talking about a list of “20 things that need to be done today.” Even on my most productive days, the likelihood that I fully complete a to-do list is rare, so I’m not trying to set myself up for failure. I’ll jot down multiple things that “need to be done at some point,” then, I’ll filter out my top three. Those three things must be done by the end of the day and I start with the least taxing first to help me ease in and to help me build my confidence. Checking something off of my to-do list always gets me going.

      3. Move my body
      I actually love working out once I get going but, like a lot of people, getting there can be the hardest part. When I’m feeling motivated and have time to spare, I could easily hit the gym for two hours to do cardio and lift which is a huge feat to tackle on days where I’m feeling low. On “blah” days, I still make sure I move my body to improve circulation, work on my mobility, and pump up my endorphins. I’m not talking anything crazy. I’ll either go on a walk if the weather is nice or I’ll pull out my yoga mat to either stretch or do a few yoga flows. 

      4. Tidy up my living space
      When I’m not feeling so hot, the last thing I want to do is fold laundry, do dishes, or round up the water cups that have been accumulating around my apartment. But this year, I’ve gotten in the habit of cleaning up as I go, no matter what (I know, groundbreaking). My grandmother was right: It has made the day-to-day cleanup more manageable. For me, there’s nothing less inspiring or more anxiety-inducing than being surrounded by clutter and having the constant visual reminder that my life is an absolute mess.

      5. Laugh
      They say that laughter is the best medicine and, honestly, I am “they.” Besides the known scientific benefits of laughing, I have found it to be one of the best ways to help me feel like myself again. Whether I find laughter in FaceTiming a friend, rewatching my favorite episode of The Office, putting on a stand-up comedy, or reading a humorous book, it is my daily challenge to find it—no joke. More

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      How 8 Nutritionists Stay Healthy Through the Holidays

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      Starting with Halloween candy and ending with over-indulging in champagne on New Year’s Eve, the holiday season is loaded with temptations and traditions that promise to wreck health goals. November and December are full of sugary hot cocoa, over-stuffed turkeys, unhealthy appetizers, Christmas cookies, and lots (and lots) of booze. Many women have food-related stress heading into the holidays, while others give up on healthy eating entirely until January 1. But reality check, ladies: you can still indulge in your favorite foods without giving up your health goals, and you should be able to enjoy the holidays (totally guilt-free). For some expert advice heading into the most decadent meals of the year, I polled eight nutritionists on how they stay healthy while still enjoying the season. 
      1. McKel Kooienga, MS, RD, LDN, Author and Founder of Nutrition Stripped

      Source: @nutritionstripped

      “Food provides our bodies with the physical nourishment it needs to feel and function its best. But it also is culture, tradition, a way to connect with others, enjoyment, and so much more. It’s so important to honor that, especially during the holidays when food is such a beautiful and important aspect of the celebration. But there needs to be a balance. Many people can fall into the pattern of eating mindlessly throughout the holiday season and not paying attention to their nutritional needs with the intention of “restarting” or dieting in January.
      The way I practice finding the right balance between food for nourishment and food for pleasure is pausing before eating and checking in with myself so I can make an intentional choice. I may say to myself, ‘I’m not hungry, but I would enjoy that dessert right now because it’s my favorite holiday dessert.’ On the other hand, I may say, ‘I’ve enjoyed a lot of my favorite holiday foods today, but I realize I haven’t eaten many vegetables and my digestion feels a little off. I’m gong to choose to fill my plate with more nourishing foods now.’ The purpose isn’t to eat perfect, but rather to slow down, bring awareness to what you want and need, and make an intentional choice.”

      2. Shana Minei Spence, MS, RDN, CDN, Founder of The Nutrition Tea

      Source: @thenutritiontea

      “I think it’s really important to try to keep your mental health in check and a priority as much as possible. Especially with what’s going on in the world now. I personally like to go for walks and get as much fresh air as possible. Not just for exercise, but moving my body particularly outside really helps destress my day and brings me clarity. I think that it’s so important to find some form of exercise that you enjoy. It’s a great mood booster and increases the serotonin and endorphins (feel good hormones). But this only works if it is exercise that you enjoy.”

      3. Elizabeth Yontz Moye, RD, Founder of Hello Spoonful

      Source: Elizabeth Yontz Moye

      “Fill up your plate with as much fiber as possible! Fiber helps with blood sugar control, appetite control, and stable energy levels. The more fiber you have with your meals (specifically carb-heavy meals) the less of a blood sugar spike you’ll have. The less of a blood sugar spike you have, the less insulin (your fat-storing hormone) you’ll release. When you experience these rapid spikes and falls, the more hungry you become shortly after eating so be sure to fill up on fiber during the holidays to say fuller, longer!”
       
      4. Valerie Agyeman, RD, Founder of Flourish Heights

      Source: Valerie Agyeman

      “As I fill my body with the right quantity and quality of food it needs, I also remember that food is for enjoyment and connection. The holidays are a time for me to connect with my family traditions, culture, and loved ones. My experience of taste, aroma, the love and intention put into the meal, surrounding myself with family and the joy of eating, all add to my experience of nourishment. It influences my mood, emotions, behavior and food choices too. While it’s been a roller coaster kind of year, remember that food is a comfort. Food is a way to feel connected. It is to be enjoyed too. And that’s OK. That’s a good thing.”

      Source: @nutritionhappens

      “Between the holiday drinks, food, and even the change in air temperature during this time of the year (colder temperatures can contribute to more water loss in the body), hydration can take a hit. Grab an extra cup of water or two between meals to replenish those fluids. For optimal hydration, we need a balance of electrolytes, which are minerals that help regulate and control the balance of fluids in the body. The three big electrolytes are sodium, potassium, and magnesium, and they’re found in natural fruits and vegetables. Try adding a few slices of cucumbers or lemons / limes in a glass of water with a pinch of salt. Not only does this help provide those extra electrolytes for hydration, but it also makes it more interesting to drink throughout the day.
      Also, make at least one meal a day as nutrient-dense as possible. The holidays can bring a lot of changes during mealtimes, like eating different foods or changing our eating routines. A nutrient-dense meal in between holiday meals (think: smoothie packed with leafy greens, a roasted vegetable salad, an omelette packed with spinach) can help you meet those vitamin and mineral goals throughout the week.”

      Source: @marisamoore

      “Instead of focusing on what not to eat, add more to the table. I volumize with veggies. I like to start with a seasonal salad, garlicky green beans, or roasted Brussels sprouts with pomegranates for a festive twist. Also, there are endless eating opportunities during the holidays, but staying active might help to keep stress at bay. Consider connecting with friends over an active meet up like going on a (masked) walk. Lastly, I use what’s in season. From pears to apples to grapes to Brussels sprouts and other greens, there are lots of options.”

      Source: @wellnessforthewin

      “Some things that I think are super important to prioritize all year, but especially around the holidays, are adequate sleep and hydration. I encourage everyone to start their day with a large glass of water before they reach for the coffee. This can help reach daily fluid needs and hopefully remind them to continue to drink water all day long! In addition, create a good routine around sleep. Go to bed and wake up around consistent times each day, and create an environment that supports good, quality sleep.
      Last but not least, plan ahead to reach your nutrition goals. Healthy eating requires a little more planning and intention, but when you think ahead, you are better able to incorporate nutrient-dense foods that support your health and immune system throughout the colder months. Remember that it doesn’t have to be all or nothing; you can truly enjoy all foods throughout the holiday season, without guilt or shame. It’s all about finding the balance that works for you and forming a healthy relationship with food.”

      8. Serena Poon, CN, CHC, CHN, Leading Chef and Nutritionist

      Source: Serena Poon

      “Make sure you’re getting enough quality sleep. A lack of sleep amplifies emotions of tension, stress and anxiety, and weakens your immune system. Make a conscious effort to get at least 5-7 hours of sleep each night. Great sleep hygiene (going to bed at the same time, turning off devices an hour before bedtime, etc.) will help you stay on track through the holidays. Also, find a grounding practice. Meditating, breathing, or repeating a mantra/affirmation can do wonders for your health and mindset.”

      How are you planning on staying healthy through the holidays? More

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      5 Ways to Upgrade Your Self-Care Routine

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      You already know that self-care should never be an afterthought (it is one of the biggest buzzwords, after all). But a modern lifestyle, busy work life, and an apocalyptic-level year (is it 2021 yet??) might have made it difficult to prioritize yourself (or make you feel guilty when you do). However, self-care is the most important insurance that you show up as your best self in every area of your life, and therefore, self-care should be completely restorative. Think about it: it’s not really caring for yourself if it doesn’t make you happier, calmer, and less stressed (looking at you, stinging face mask and overpacked workout routine!). Because the holidays are coming, stay-at-home orders are still going strong, and stress levels are through the roof, it’s time we take a look at our self-care routines and incorporate some much-needed upgrades. Here are five easy ways to update your self-care routine to ensure you’re caring for yourself in the best way possible:

      Source: @equilibriawomen

      1. Use CBD to de-stress
      TBH, I thought I mastered the self-care game until I found Equilibria’s CBD. The trendy wellness ingredient started popping up in everything from makeup to dog products a couple of years ago, but it’s stayed around for good reason (even my doctor recommended it for anxiety and stress relief). Whether self-care looks like a CBD bath in the evenings, indulging in self-massage with CBD Relief Cream to relieve aches and pains, or taking Daily Drops to feel more calm and less tension throughout your day (yes, even the busiest workdays), there’s a CBD product for your self-care routine. Pro tip: pretty much everyone on our team swears that they have the best sleep of their lives after using CBD products. And what better way to care for yourself than a good night’s rest?

      Equilibria
      Daily Drops

      use code “theeverygirl” for 20% off your first order!

      Equilibria
      Relief Cream

      use code “theeverygirl” for 20% off your first order!

      Source: @josie.santi

      2. Schedule self-care in your calendar
      When our schedules get busy, self-care is often the first thing to go since it can be put off “until tomorrow,” and the only person we’re breaking plans with is ourselves. But self-care is not selfish, nor should it be negotiable. Self-care is crucial for not only your health and wellbeing (which should be #1 anyway), but it allows you to show up as your best self in the other areas of your life, whether it’s work or tending to relationships.
      Think of it like charging an iPhone: self-care recharges your battery so that you can be energetic and motivated at work, kind and caring in your relationships, and overall show up as your best self. It’s the necessary ingredient for success in every area of your life, so treat it as such. To make sure you’re consistently prioritizing yourself, schedule self-care like workouts, baths, or downtime to read and relax into your calendar. Honor those time slots like you would any other meeting or appointment.

      Source: @bookofthemonth

      3. Read a book that makes you better
      The point of self-care is to invest time, energy, and money into yourself. Instead of spending all of your downtime bingeing another Netflix series (although there is always time for that), take some time before bed or first thing in the morning to read a book that betters you. Whether it’s a self-help book, a career advice memoir, or inspirational essays, choose to consume material that makes you happier, smarter, or healthier. Not only can a good book impact your life, but spending downtime doing something good for you will increase your confidence and can even snowball into changes in all areas of your life. Now that’s self-care. 

      Source: @ceceolisa

      4. Make sure “self-care” means “self-love”
      “Self-care” is such a buzz-worthy term in 2020 that we give it a clear definition of face masks, bubble baths, and a glass of wine or a yoga flow (whatever floats your boat). However, the root of self-care should not be wellness trends; it should be self-love. In reality, self-care does not have an exact definition; it’s anything and everything that makes you feel recharged, replenished, and cared for. If you’re not sure what that is for you, take some time getting to know yourself: think about what you believe in, what you value, and what restores you. Anything you do for the sake of self-care should be to improve the relationship you have with yourself, so saying “no” when you mean “no,” being true to who you are, and forgiving yourself are some of the most radical acts of self-care you could ever practice.

      Source: @jessannkirby

      5. Take care of your home environment
      So it’s the millionth day of staying at home: dishes are piling up in the sink, the junk drawer has gone rogue, and forget about making the bed every morning. Especially if you’re in a studio apartment like me, you might have given up all hope for keeping up with the space that you use to work, exercise, sleep, and relax in (guilty!). However, your home environment is more important for your wellbeing than you may realize. Clutter in the space translates into clutter in the mind, while a peaceful environment can impact everything from sleep quality to stress levels. If you’re looking for where to start with self-care, try starting with your home. Declutter, upgrade bedding, and add in cozy accents. Turning your home into an oasis is not only a matter of decor, but an act of self-care.

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      in beauty and fashion

      12 Products That Will Help You Beat Seasonal Dryness

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      If you’ve been following any facet of The Everygirl, you may have come to the overwhelming conclusion that we are absolutely obsessed with the holiday season. The days of snuggling up with hot cocoa and watching Hallmark movies are in full swing, and as the last month of the year approaches, we welcome twinkling lights, cozy home decor, and Christmas cookies with open arms.In my daydreams of December, I’ve romanticized what winter looks like and I’ve forgotten to factor in one unfavorable downfall of crisp air and cool temperatures: dry skin season is upon us, and this year, we simply aren’t letting a dehydrated, itchy exterior ruin our winter. 
      Whether you’re like me and are already in the woes of seasonal dryness or simply want to stop dry skin in its tracks, it’s important to stock up on all types of moisturizers for the cold, harsh days ahead. I’ve tried approximately one million different products (give or take) that have claimed to lock in moisture to foster soft, glowing skin. After years of seasonally struggling with eczema, chapped lips, a peeling nose, and dry hair, I’ve built up quite the army of moisturizers to treat the most stubborn dry, rough, and dull skin in the game. 
      Check out these 12 holy grail products that have my back when my skin is *itching* for attention:

      Love Beauty and Planet
      Majestic Moisture Body Wash

      Your battle against dry skin starts in the shower. I use this Majestic Moisture body wash made of all-natural ingredients to scrub-a-dub without drying out my skin at step one.

      Nourishing Dry Body Oil

      I spritz this dry oil all over my body when I’m fresh out of the shower and in a rush (AKA every day). It’s lightweight and dries quickly so I can put my clothes on within two minutes of applying.

      Moisturizing Cream

      I have a lot of go-to moisturizing products, but this moisturizing cream is my absolute favorite. If I could fill up a bathtub of this stuff and take a cool dip in it every night, I would. I lather this on before bed and let it work its magic through the night.

      Hydrating Facial Cleanser

      Time and time again, I try new face washes and walk-of-shame back to this hydrating facial cleanser. The only downside to this guy is that it doesn’t lather up (sigh), BUT I continue to use it because it’s the only face wash that doesn’t leave me feeling like Spongebob in the beloved “Sandy, I need water” scene.

      KORA Organics
      Noni Glow Face Oil

      OK, I’m not usually one to splurge on beauty products; however, this is my one and only exception because 1) I’m absolutely obsessed, and 2) I find that a little bit of this product goes a long way. I started using this face oil last year, and now I will never use anything else. I use this after my toner/before my moisturizer and I look forward to using it. It smells amazing and leaves my face and neck glowing and so unbelievably smooth.

      Josie Maran
      Whipped Argan Oil Face Butter

      This whipped face butter is a dream. come. true. I use it as the last step of my nighttime skincare routine, and it’s basically dessert for my face. It’s hydrating yet non-suffocating and puts in WORK while I’m fast asleep.

      Like Butter

      I reach for this healing and soothing mask 2-3 times a week whenever my skin is looking dull and needs a pick-me-up. After cleansing, I apply this to my face, leave it on for 20 minutes, and dab off the excess if any remains. This stuff works really well on other areas of the body so when my eczema decides to show up uninvited, I’ll use Like Butter on my dry spots as well.

      Mrs. Meyer’s
      Lavender Hand Balm

      Dry hands, be gone! In addition to dry skin season, we’re also approaching the dreaded cold and flu season. That means we’ll be washing our hands even more frequently (yay!) and simultaneously drying them out (boo). This Mrs. Meyer’s lavender hand balm smells incredible, is soothing, and is conveniently portable.

      Lip Repair

      Speaking of products that follow me wherever I go, this Aquaphor lip repair is the lip ointment I’m currently using. By currently using, I mean actually using, right now, at this very moment. This powerful little tube will keep you from looking in the mirror and questioning “Did I black out while applying a mid-day, hot pink lip stain or are my lips just dry, red, and irritated?”

      Deep Conditioning Hair Mask

      If there’s one part of my beauty routine that I skimp on in the moisturizing department, it’s my poor, brittle hair. I’m adding this hair mask to my fall/winter beauty routine because moisturized hair makes for healthy, shiny, and bouncy locks.

      Bread Beauty Supply
      Hair Oil Everyday Gloss

      Unlike a lot of the hair oils I’ve tried, this hair oil is non-greasy and lightweight. This oil has been my answer to dried out hair, split ends, and frizz and it’s my new hair routine staple! More

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      5 Reasons It’s Important to Give Compliments to Other Women Who Are Total Strangers

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      Have you really even lived if you’ve never drunk complimented another girl in a bar bathroom? I mean, seriously. What is life without compliments from your best girl friends or random women in Target? Compliments have a way of making everyone involved feel good. It feels good to give compliments and make other people feel seen, valued, and appreciated. It feels good to give love, but sometimes it’s harder to receive it.  If you’re anything like me, it’s so much easier to uplift someone else. It’s easier to give people praises for big accomplishments or even their really cute outfit than it is to be on the receiving end of praise and compliments, but we should all practice giving and receiving compliments. Here’s why:
      1. What we admire in others, we can learn to foster in ourselves
      Sometimes we compliment people we admire because they do, wear, or accomplish things we don’t think we could. We admire them for their style, their flair, or their success. I’ve heard many women say they could never do or wear the very thing I’m doing or wearing, but why can’t they? They’re just as capable and just as beautiful. What we compliment in other people may be more about us than it is about them. What we notice and admire in others really could help shape our own desires and aid us in identifying which areas we’d like to improve, change, or try something new.
      Think about the things you’re most likely to compliment someone on. I find myself complimenting people’s outfit choices, shoes, accessories, and more. So, that helped me realize that the things I noticed about others, I needed to develop in myself. I started to wear the very things I liked on someone else and it helped me to develop my own unique style. Maybe you like how other people travel a lot. This may be your own subconscious telling you that you really desire to put some stamps on your passport. If you like how ambitious someone is, maybe it’s your cue to rev it up a notch and go after your dreams. Take some time to notice what you notice. Are you lacking in that area of your life? Are there things you’d like to change? Take the time to assess and see. 

      2. Complimenting someone else doesn’t take anything from you
      Conversely, as much as complimenting another person is about you, it also isn’t. Yes, you are beautiful and capable, but so is the next woman. Yes, you have impeccable style, but so does someone else. Complimenting someone else doesn’t take away from how great, powerful, or pretty you are. The spotlight is big enough for all of us. We can all be beautiful, stunning, and radiant at the same time. There shouldn’t be any competition amongst women, as we’re all different shapes, sizes, and colors. That’s the beauty of being a woman. Genuinely complimenting someone doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Complimenting someone else doesn’t steal the attention away from you in any way.

      3. We all need reassurance
      You never know, maybe she was skeptical about the shoes before she put them on. Or, maybe she was having a really bad day before you complimented her. It sounds cheesy, but spreading a little love can really go a long way. You could really brighten someone’s day without realizing it. I’m that girl who will walk up to a total stranger to tell her she looks pretty or compliment her dress. I love how people’s faces light up when you affirm them or tell them something nice about themselves. It does my heart some good to spread some positivity and, hopefully, it makes another person feel good in the process.

      4. You could make a new friend
      Girl, I can’t tell you how many times a simple compliment led to a budding friendship. When I lived all alone in the Bay Area, this is honestly how I made most of the friends. I’d be at the function alone and before I knew it, I’d be hanging out with a friendly group of girls for the rest of the night. I’ve met some really dope people just by being willing to step outside of my comfort zone and say something nice to someone. A single compliment would lead me from standing alone to dancing the night away with a few strangers, exchanging social media information, then meeting for lunch later that week. I met a group of friends at a Galentine’s Day Party two years ago. We still keep in touch and it all started with me complimenting Fana’s beautiful lavender faux fur coat while we waited in line for the bathroom. 

      5. You could learn a lot
      I can’t tell you how many times a simple compliment has yielded in a wealth of knowledge. I learn about cool shops, store sales, new restaurants, and more. More often than not, when I compliment someone’s clothing or shoes, they tell me where they got the item and how much it cost. There’s good info out there and sometimes a simple “Hey, girl! I love that shirt” will lead you on your next shopping spree.

      Complimenting each other should come naturally, but I know that for some, it’s a bit hard. Maybe you’re naturally shy or just not quite sure how to approach someone. It’s OK. Just take it slow. It doesn’t have to be an awkward experience. Complimenting someone as they pass by could really make a world of difference in your day and in theirs. We’ve all heard it before: women need women. I think women need the right kind of women; women who are genuine, supportive, loving, and helpful to one another. There are so many things in the world that can tear women down, but building a loving sisterhood with the next woman is just one small punch in the face of patriarchy. OK, maybe it’s not that deep, but still. Let’s all make an effort to build up the next woman, grow our network, and spread more love. More

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      How to Get Through the Holiday Season Loneliness When You Can’t See Your Family

      by

      The holidays will be different this year, and this is a fact I am still processing. The holidays are my favorite time of year, and I know COVID-19 is real. But it is still strange to have to choose isolation during such a special time of year because of a global pandemic. I have personally been feeling the emotional effects of COVID-19 isolation since I am nearly 3,000 miles away from my hometown and family. It wasn’t until September that I started to feel a significant emotional shift. Since I have opted not to go home for Thanksgiving this year (this will be my first Thanksgiving away from home) due to taking COVID-19 safety precautions, I am truthfully feeling a double whammy of sadness. However, I know staying put is the safest choice for my family and me. I thought breaking the news to my parents would be difficult, but they beat me to it—sharing their concern about risking exposure to fly home.It’s safe to assume that I am not the only person who will be spending the holidays alone this year. With that in mind, I reached out to Dr. Gail Saltz, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and host of the Personology podcast; and Dr. Nikole Benders-Hadi, a licensed therapist and the medical director of behavioral health at Doctor On Demand, to seek out their guidance on how to cope with loneliness this holiday season. 

      Know that it’s normal to feel more lonely during the holidays
      Feeling lonely or melancholy during this time of the year isn’t abnormal. So if you find yourself feeling less enthusiastic as the holidays grow near, Dr. Benders-Hadi said these feelings aren’t uncommon. “Many people feel more lonely during the holidays since this time of year may bring back memories of time spent with family members they have lost, or feelings of sadness around the status of relationships they have with family or friends,” she told The Everygirl. “There is so much pressure to get into the holiday spirit that if you are not feeling joyous, this time of year can be very difficult.” Since we aren’t alone in having these feelings during the holidays, how do we navigate them? Our experts have a few tips. 

      Connect virtually
      Both experts agree that virtual connections can be beneficial. “Virtual connections can absolutely create a positive sense of community,” Benders-Hadi said. “Similar to how many individuals find it easier to connect to healthcare professionals from the comfort of their own home, the same rings true for developing new friendships and connections. When connecting virtually, the reach of your community is also so much more widespread across the nation and even the world, so you have the ability to learn and experience things you may never have had the opportunity to otherwise.”
      While virtual connections offer an opportunity to open up your world, Saltz said, don’t be afraid to connect one on one. “You need to pump up the emotional content of the conversation when it’s virtual,” she explained. “Be kinder, express more positive feelings, and listen to them more.”

      Source: West Elm

      Fill your time with a new hobby, but don’t isolate
      When we went into quarantine, I was the new hobby queen until I got fatigued. After talking with my therapist, I soon realized that those activities made me feel busy, but still left me feeling alone. If you’re going to pick up a new hobby, bring those you love in on it. “It’s actually more helpful to reach out to others and try to have more intimate, valuable conversations with them,” Saltz said. “That will make you feel better than a solo activity.”
      If you’re unable to go home for the holidays, try booking an online cooking experience with Airbnb (I love them) or schedule a time with a group of your family members to learn a sacred holiday recipe like sweet potato pie or mac and cheese. This way, you’re still a part of your family traditions, but now in a new way.

      Be supportive of others
      Everyone will be dealing with something different this holiday season, including loss. If you don’t know what to say to someone who is grieving, our mental health experts have sound advice. “If you know someone coping with the loss of a loved one this holiday season, reach out to let them know you care,” Benders-Hadi advised. “It can be easy to get caught up in negative thinking and grief around this time of the year, so showing that person you are thinking of them can go a long way. A simple phone call or a small gesture are great ways to display kindness to someone struggling.” Saltz added that normalizing a loved one’s grief is also important. “[Express] that you understand it is sad, rather than saying things like, ‘Don’t be sad.’ Reminisce with them of happy times with that lost one, be supportive, and be present.”

      Plan moments to look forward to
      COVID-19 has changed how we live and plan to spend time with our family and friends, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun reminiscing about old times while being hopeful about the future. “If you can’t be with those you love this holiday season, get together on a video call and share a laugh or some memories from afar. You can even start making plans for what you will do when you can see each other again. Having something to look forward to can help ease stress in these uncertain times, even if you have to do so with flexible travel dates,” said Benders-Hadi.  

      I hate to say this is the “new normal” because, let’s face it, none of what we’re experiencing right now is normal. But, I hope one (or all) of these expert tips helps remind you, you aren’t alone.  More