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    Secrets to Personal Growth: 7 Strategies That Helped Me Become My Best Self

    For years I felt like I was going through my life on autopilot. I would wake up early, immediately start work, and then wouldn’t stop until night, leaving me too exhausted to do anything but watch Netflix for the rest of my day. I spent my weekends doing activities I didn’t enjoy which would leave me feeling drained because I felt like I would let people down if I said “no.” Finally, after one particularly stressful week, I realized I hadn’t created the life I truly wanted. I had financial security, an amazing husband, a sweet dog, a fantastic family, and a lovely apartment, but still, I wasn’t happy. 
    If I wanted to feel my best and show up for the people I love, I needed to make some serious lifestyle changes. So over the course of a few months, I implemented habits that transformed my mood and my life. Not only did these habits make me happier, but they also improved my health and relationships. Curious how you can get more joy from life? Keep reading to learn the seven simple strategies I used to help me become my best self. 

    1. I pursued activities with no end goal
    We live in a society so focused on optimizing every activity that we often forget it’s OK to do things simply because we find them fun. Studies show that people with hobbies have fewer negative emotions and are less stressed than those without hobbies. Making time in your week for a little leisure not only makes you feel more zen, but it can also help you rediscover parts of yourself you’d forgotten or discover new aspects of yourself you didn’t know existed. 
    I studied English in college, devouring 3-5 books a week. But after starting a demanding career, I barely got through a handful of books each year. Younger me was eager to get lost in stories and passionate about dissecting the themes of novels. I felt like I had lost this part of myself in my 20s and I wanted to get her back. So I set myself a reading goal of one book per month. The best part of this goal for me was that it wasn’t time-consuming. Rather than scrolling Instagram in the morning, I curled up on the couch with my dog and spent 15 minutes reading a book. This simple habit helped me start my day with joy, which positively impacted my attitude for the rest of the day. 

    2. I started saying “no”
    When was the last time you said “no” to a coworker, friend, or family member? If it’s been a while, you’re not alone. 65% of American women report that they struggle to say “no” to others. But it’s a word you should get in the habit of saying more. Setting boundaries can significantly reduce stress and make room for what matters most to you. I used to be a “yes” girl. I said “yes” to extra projects at work even if I was already drowning with projects. I said “yes” to late night drinks with friends even if I really wanted to save money and hit the sheets. I tried to be as accommodating as possible because I wanted people to like me. What I learned was that being a “yes” girl didn’t make me more likable. It made me tired and stressed. 
    So I started saying “no” and setting boundaries to protect my mental health. This meant not taking on more work than I could tackle in an eight-hour workday and telling my friends that I’d be happy to meet up for a walk in the park Saturday morning, but I wasn’t going to make it out for happy hour (which, let’s face it, never just lasts just an hour). Saying “no” was incredibly uncomfortable at first, but every time I said “no” to something that didn’t align with my values, I was saying “yes” to something that did. Saying “no” to more work than I could handle meant I could say “yes” to Wednesday date nights with my husband. Saying “no” to drinks with my friends meant I could say “yes” to a hangover-free walk with my dog. 

    3. I stopped comparing myself to others on social media
    Raise your hand if you’ve ever fallen into the social media comparison trap. I know I have. Having access to other peoples’ lives is captivating, but it can also be incredibly damaging to your mental health. Studies have found a link between using multiple social media platforms and higher rates of anxiety and depression. Experts believe this is likely due to many reasons including increased social comparison. For me, social comparison manifested in how I felt about my body. As a wellness fanatic, I tend to follow mostly women in the health and fitness space. However, this space is dominated by people with a very specific physique. Seeing these images of primarily one type of body made me begin to dislike my own.
    I started to notice that every time I scrolled through social media, a series of hateful thoughts about my appearance followed. So, I did a social media cleanup, unfollowing accounts that consistently made me feel like crap and following others that celebrated women with a variety of ages, ethnicities, and body types. Changing the type of content I was exposed to slowly began to change how I thought about myself. Seeing images honoring women in all our forms helped me realize my own beauty and released the pressure to have a leaner body and chiseled six pack. 

    4. I spoke kindly to myself 
    We all have a little voice in our heads that pushes us to be better. However, that voice can quickly turn from a motivational speaker to a bully. Most people experience 12,000- 60,000 thoughts each day, and on average, 80% of them are negative. Experts agree that this type of self-talk can lead to a multitude of harmful repercussions like low confidence and depression. 
    In an interview with Jay Shetty, Kendall Jenner confessed that she keeps an image of her childhood self on her bathroom mirror to remind her that whenever she says something unkind about herself, she’s also saying it to the little girl in the photo. I’ve adopted this practice into my own life, with an image of a toddler me holding a puppy as my lock screen. I’ve found that I have a harder time saying hurtful things to myself when I’m looking at that smiling little girl, and now spend my energy telling her she’s smart, successful, and loved. 

    5. I did workouts I actually enjoy
    For years, the fitness industry told women that we need to punish ourselves with grueling workouts every day in order to have the body of our dreams. While the new wave of female fitness focuses on balance and honoring our bodies, many women still hang onto the mentality that exercise must be intense to be effective. However, pushing yourself through a HIIT class you hate could actually do your mind and body more harm than good. 
    According to research, the top predictor of whether or not you’ll stick to an exercise plan is how much you enjoy it. Participating in workouts you love encourages you to move more frequently, which will ultimately help you stay consistent with your workouts. 
    I used to be guilty of forcing myself to get through workouts I hated for a month only to lose motivation and not exercise again for another two weeks. I knew that if I truly wanted to reap the benefits of exercise, I needed to create a routine I could do consistently. So I ditched the workouts that didn’t bring me joy and swapped them out for activities I love doing daily, like outdoor walks, yoga classes, slow trail runs, and occasional weight lifting. By creating a routine that catered to what I enjoy, it’s been easier to stick to an exercise plan, helping me feel more energized throughout the week. 

    6. I ditched the diets
    Nearly every woman has felt the societal pressure to diet at some point in her life. This exhausting pursuit of thinness starts young, with 80% of 10-year-olds reporting that they have been on a diet, according to recent data released by the Keep It Real campaign. This food mentality often doesn’t lead to a healthier body. Instead, women frequently report feelings of deprivation, guilt, and anxiety. Like so many other women, I’ve fallen into the trap of yo-yo dieting. I would follow a strict eating protocol that left me tired, unsatisfied, and inevitably binging when my body and mind couldn’t take it anymore. This created extreme anxiety around food, making it challenging to go to social events, on vacations, or on date nights without panicking about what would be on the menu. 
    I was tired of making my life smaller and avoiding activities I loved in pursuit of an unattainable body. So I ditched the diet mentality. Now, I ask myself what I can add to my plate to make my meals as enjoyable and nourishing as possible. I try to include protein, whole grains, healthy fats, and my favorite fruit or veggies with every meal so that my body gets the nutrients it needs to thrive. But if I want to eat a slice of pizza or go out for ice cream with my sister, I do so without guilt, knowing that the experience will nourish my soul. It took a lot of practice, but eventually, I eliminated food guilt and now have an amazing relationship with nutrition. 

    7. I gave myself more grace
    I used to struggle with an all-or-nothing mentality. If I couldn’t do something perfectly, I would be overly critical and wonder why I even bothered setting new goals. This would cascade into feelings of failure that killed my motivation and kept me stuck in self-destructive habits. Letting go of perfectionism and giving myself some grace gave me the ability to tackle the above strategies and stick with them. Reframing mistakes as learning moments instead of failures helped me see the progress in any slip-ups that occurred, which helped maintain a growth mindset. 

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    14 Affirmations That Will Make You Tap Into Your Best Self, and When To Use Them

    What do you do when you’re in a stressful moment? When you’re anxious about giving a presentation, or your friends hang out without inviting you, or you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see? What about when bad things happen, or you make a mistake, or you doubt whether or not you’re good enough to have all that you want? Some people cope with stress and anxiety by doing a yoga flow, binging a Netflix show, or eating a sleeve of Oreos. While I still resort back to all those coping mechanisms here and there (healthy or not), the one thing I always have with me is an affirmation.
    Technically, everyone uses affirmations, whether they’re aware of it or not—it’s that one phrase you hear in your head over and over or tell yourself repeatedly. Some lucky people have great affirmations: I’m awesome. What a beautiful day outside. I love my life. And then there are the affirmations that many of us are plagued by: I’m not as pretty. I’m not good enough. What if something goes wrong?  Many of us hear these phrases in our heads so often that we believe them like they’re facts. So what if we could replace these thoughts with phrases that are not only better for us, but can help us be confident, feel less stressed, and live our best lives?

    What is an “affirmation?”
    I first learning about the idea of an affirmation from learning about mantras. The term “mantra” is an ancient Sanskrit term, used in Hindusim and Buddhism to mean a phrase that was repeated frequently in meditation. Neurologically, mantra training can reduce distractions and calm the mind. It’s also been proven to reduce stress because repetition and focus regulate chemicals in the brain, releasing endorphins and blocking stress hormones like cortisol. Nowadays, everyone from yogis to modern psychologists are relaying back to the ancient technique of repeating one word or phrase as a powerful therapy tool in the form. 
    Beyond just the physical benefits, an affirmation puts you in a more positive mindset, and the repetitive nature trains your brain overtime. Affirmations can be repeated as a tool for focus during meditation like mantras, used as a tiny, consistent reminder throughout the day, or looked to when you’re in a moment of anxiety, stress, or lack of confidence. The goal is to find the affirmation that clicks for you; the one that just makes sense. It’s the phrase you need to hear, and the repetition to allow you to actually hear it.
    Here are the affirmations that have changed my mindset, confidence, and life. Memorize the one that clicks with you, write them down and tape them to your wall, or copy them in your phone notes to look to whenever you need it.  Get ready for your most powerful, confident, passionate, and best self, yet.

    14 affirmations to use to achieve your best self
    1. “I am enough.”
    This is the reminder we all could probably use every now and then. It’s human nature to think we could be better, or there’s always someone better than us—it’s what drives competition and keeps us pushing ourselves to be better. But sometimes, that pushing becomes a lack of appreciation for who we are now, causing insecurity and self-doubt. Use this affirmation when you’re worried about being liked, struggling with insecurity, meeting new people, or entering a new job. Remind yourself that you are pretty great, just the way you are.

    2. “I am ready to be healed.”
    Use this affirmation when you’ve been having a particularly hard time and you’re ready to move on, or need help moving on. It’s so easy to get into a funk because we’re going through a hard time—maybe we lost our job, went through a breakup, or have just been feeling sad with winter blues. While grieving and downtime is important, and emotions should never be ignored, this funk can turn into a vicious cycle of self-pity and wallowing. The first step of moving on and feeling better is to acknowledge that it’s time to be healed and it’s OK to be healed. You’ll start to subconsciously seek out your own healing.

    3. “I am discovering my inner superstar.”
    There is an inner “superstar” in all of us, even when we don’t think there is. If the word “superstar” makes you cringe, you might call it your highest version of you, your true self, or your own hero. Use this affirmation when you need some extra motivation and inspiration to achieve your goals and to believe in yourself. The wording of this affirmation is particularly nonjudgmental. Rather than expecting yourself to achieve greater things (and the possibility of feeling disappointed or unconfident if you don’t achieve them), you’re acknowledging that you’re in the process of discovering your best self, without expectation or judgment.

    4. “I return my body to optimal health by giving it what it needs on every level.”
    Use this affirmation when you know your body needs to be (and deserves to be) healthier. Rather than forcing yourself to eat healthy or exercise for vanity reasons, this sentence allows you to reflect on what your body actually wants and needs, whether that means having that piece of chocolate or adding in some leafy greens, or sleeping in and taking a rest day versus getting up before work to go to the gym. Remind yourself to listen to your body and act for the sake of nourishing it.

    5. “I am open and receptive to all good.”
    When you seek the good, you won’t notice as much bad. The issues you run into in your everyday life, like your train being late or your internet running slow, won’t feel so bad. Use this affirmation when you need an extra boost of optimism. Train yourself to be a glass-half-full kinda girl by repeating this sentence whenever you start to complain or notice a negative thought. There’s so much good, whether it’s in a situation, a setting, or in a person. We just have to allow ourselves to be open to it.

    6. “Today is about pleasure. I am living this day for the sole purpose of enjoying it.”
    What if you lived as if the purpose was to enjoy, not to check items off your to-do list or just get through the work day until 5 p.m.? Use this affirmation when you notice you’ve just been going through the motions instead of living. Notice and value indulgences that truly make you happy: a new candle, a long hot bath, a bouquet of flowers you picked up on the way home from work. Fit small pleasurable activities into your day, and when something stresses you out like a tough deadline or a boss in a bad mood, remember that this day is for you to enjoy, and don’t let little problems bother you.

    7. “Stop making people wrong.”
    You know the times when you’re in a fight and you just feel so annoyed, sad, or angry? Maybe your roommate is annoying you about doing the dishes, or your kids are making you mad by not picking up their toys? Use this affirmation when you’re in one of those times. If your mom missed an important event, your best friend has been too busy for you, or your significant other said something you don’t agree with, remind yourself to think about the other’s perspective. Be compassionate to their point of view and voice your feelings with the understanding that your loved ones don’t mean to make you feel bad. Remember that how the incident affects your relationship is not based on their actions, but the way you take them. Seek the right in the people you love instead of making them wrong.

    8. “Be the person who feels like sunshine.”
    Use this affirmation when you’re in a social setting you don’t feel confident in. It might be tempting to be the girl that acts too-cool-for-school, or make jokes to get laughs (even if it’s at the expense of others). When we’re not feeling confident, these are easy defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from being disliked. But this affirmation reminds me that what people actually like to be around is someone who exudes kindness, and is warm and happy; someone who feels like sunshine. Besides, what if your main purpose was to lift others up? Give them compliments, make them laugh, help out when you see they need it—how much happier would you be?

    9. “I give myself permission to be OK where I am. I know that I am doing my best.”
    We’re always thinking about the next goal, always feeling behind or focused on the future so much that we don’t feel good about the present. We don’t really let ourselves be OK with where we are in our lives, knowing that it is exactly where we are meant to be and all good things will come. Use this affirmation when you’re feeling anxious about the future.

    10. “I am seeking contentment, not perfection.”
    Use this affirmation if you have perfectionist tendencies. I probably don’t seem like a perfectionist: I can be messy, my right brain is way more dominant than my left, and I’m a Libra. And yet, I find myself rewriting articles because they never feel good enough, obsessing over my hair when it’s not curling the way I’d hoped, or feeling anxious and stressed when something didn’t go the way I pictured. Sound familiar? Remind yourself that the goal in life is not for everything to be, look, and seem perfect. The goal is to be happy. That’s it. The reminder makes all the little things I worry about seem insignificant.

    11. “I trust that I, and only I, know what’s best for me.”
    We’re so often plagued by self-doubt, especially when we’re making huge choices like college decisions, getting into a relationship, moving cities, or which job to take. Often, we want validation because we don’t listen to the gut instinct, or maybe can’t hear it at all. Use this affirmation when you’re making big life decisions. Listen for your gut reaction, and trust that you don’t need to listen to or seek out anyone else’s opinion because the answers to your biggest life questions is something only you can know.

    12. “Don’t go in your mind where your body is not”
    Are you a worrier, or, like me, a constant worrier? Do you overthink whether or not your friends took your joke the wrong way, if your boss won’t like the work you did, or how a (perfectly normal) doctors appointment will go? Me too. Many of us torture ourselves by thinking about what might happen, we often forget to focus on what is actually happening. This saying helps me remember I’m making up the worry in my mind, and I need to be present to what’s happening in the here and now. Use this affirmation when you’re worrying about something.

    13. “All is well.”
    Though simple, this powerful affirmation serves as a constant reminder that everything is OK and will be OK. Repeat this sentence to yourself when you’re feeling anxious. Anxiety happens because you’re constantly telling yourself that something negative is happening, and your mind starts to believe it. Counteract that anxious voice by giving yourself peace of mind.

    14. “I surround myself with those who make me better.”
    We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with; when you spend a lot of time with someone, you can adopt their mannerisms, their habits, and even their morals. Do you want to be like the five people you currently spend the most time with? Or is it time for a change? Use this affirmation when you’re dealing with a toxic friendship or jealous coworker, and to remind yourself you have control over who you let affect you. 

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    “I Tried The Latest Massage That Promises To Help With Insomnia, Pain And Fatigue.”

    A magnesium massage may sound like something better suited to pro-athletes or off-the-grid wellness gurus, but there’s a growing body of research that’s showing us mere mortals should jump aboard the magnesium train. 

    To find out if you can actually massage your way to better ZZZ’s, we kneaded our way through the research before getting treated to a much-needed kneading at a Cape Town spa. Here’s everything you need to know about magnesium massages.

    What Is Magnesium?

    “Magnesium is an essential macronutrient that plays a key role in many body processes, including muscle, nerve, and bone health and mood,” according to Medical News Today. Many people don’t get enough in their diet despite it being found in a variety of different foods like nuts, beans and leafy greens, says Healthline. 

    READ MORE: Exactly How Sleep Deprivation And Weight Gain Are Linked – And How To Prevent The Spread

    The Benefits Of Magnesium:

    If you’ve spent any time on the health and wellness side of TikTok, you’ll no doubt have come across videos about magnesium and the amazing benefits people have experienced from taking supplements. But it’s not just a factless fad. Research conducted into the benefits of magnesium and magnesium supplements have shown many benefits:

    It may boost exercise performance: One 2015 study of 2 570 women associated higher magnesium intake with increased muscle mass and power.

    It may improve PMS symptoms: Some research suggests that magnesium supplements help relieve PMS symptoms, menstrual cramps and migraine attacks.

    It may combat depression: A PubMed Central study linked low levels of magnesium to an increased risk of depression.

    It may support better sleep: Research has shown a positive link between magnesium and improved sleep

    Magnesium may also be linked to supporting healthy blood sugar levels, promoting heart health, fighting inflammation, and reducing symptoms of anxiety. 

    What Is A Magnesium Massage?

    It’s usually a full-body massage that incorporates magnesium oil to help induce a state of calm, help with pain and fatigue and give you a great night’s sleep.

    Why Get A Magnesium Massage For Better Sleep?

    Like many of the above-mentioned TikTok users will tell you, magnesium supplements are a very common natural remedy for sleep problems like insomnia. And there’s a scientific reason for that; magnesium regulates many neurotransmitters that are involved with sleep. One such neurotransmitter is GABA (or gamma-aminobutyric acid) which is a neurotransmitter associated with helping with feelings of anxiety, stress, and fear. And what do you know, a 2017 systematic review showed that magnesium supplementation also had a beneficial effect on mild anxiety.

    But if your problem is falling asleep, a 2021 review of older adults who had insomnia found that magnesium supplements lowered the amount of time it took them to fall asleep by an average of 17 minutes. And another study of almost 4000 adults found a link between taking magnesium and improved sleep quality and duration.

    Plus, if you find yourself nodding off in your morning meeting or needing to take a nap in the arvie, a PubMed Central study found that women who had a higher magnesium intake experience a decreased likelihood of falling asleep during the day.  

    While magnesium supplements could positively impact your sleep, like the research suggests (always consult a doc before taking anything new though), magnesium massage therapy could be an underrated sleep hack.

    READ MORE: Normal Sleep — Turns Out, There Might Be No Such Thing

    How Does It Work?

    Transdermal (through the skin) magnesium therapy has been touted online as a hero ingredient that could potentially cure many conditions. It’s said that when used topically, it’s absorbed straight into the body’s cells and tissues, raising magnesium levels in a shorter period of time. 

    However, the research is limited and there are varying opinions about your body’s ability to absorb it through the skin. One Journal of Integrative Medicine study showed that magnesium oil alleviated fibromyalgia symptoms, such as pain. And we know that many athletes love using magnesium in their routines.

    Magnesium Massage Full Review

    Between never-ending loadshedding and a Woolies avo costing a month’s rent, it’s no wonder we’re losing out on precious ZZZ’s.  And while most of us are cutting out anything that isn’t a necessity, I’m here to tell you why a magnesium massage might just be worth the investment.

    I tried the Muscle And Joint Magnesium Therapy Massage at Steenberg Spa. It’s a luxury wellness spa in the Constantia Winelands (tough job). Their massage promises to re-energise the body while treating symptoms of insomnia, pain and fatigue. According to them, their luxurious magnesium therapy induces a state of calm and promise’s a good night’s sleep.

    My treatment expert carefully kneaded away at my body, working through my problem areas (my back – thanks WFH shrimp-like posture!). And by the end of it I felt relaxed and rejuvenated. She even told me concern areas; knots along my scapula and tightness in my lower back I was unaware of. Following a delicious breakfast of fruit, yoghurt, granola and green juice, I wandered through the gardens and pool where you can lounge with a glass of bubbles and a good book.

    You can’t help but feel relaxed being surrounded by gorg gardens, buildings and mountains at Steenberg. But the real star of the show is their scented garden. You can have your massage in this secluded haven that’s punctuated by fragrant flora and a towering Oak tree. So you can soak up nature’s scenes, sounds and scents and segue into a peaceful state. 

    So Did It Help With Insomnia And Fatigue?

    Yes, the real impact happened that night. My sleep is where I suffer most when I’m stressed out. I experience late nights with my mind racing, wake up several times throughout the night and lie for hours trying to fall asleep. Bedtime becomes something I dread, anxiety building throughout the evening as I worry I will have another sleepless night. 

    I’d had a few weeks of terrible sleep so I was in serious need of a good night’s rest. And that’s exactly what happened. I fell asleep almost immediately, without any of that bedtime anxiety, and I slept through the night, not waking up once (a very rare occurrence for me). And the following nights were exactly the same.

    Of course, I can’t state how much of it was placebo or not. But it really helped with the weeks of insomnia I had been dealing with and reset my bedtime routine. Sometimes you just need to break the pattern to alleviate bedtime anxiety that accompanies an extended period of bad sleep. And this massage was exactly that. Although managing the stressors in your life so that your sleep is unaffected is first prize. 

    For me, The Muscle And Joint Magnesium Therapy Massage at Steenberg did exactly what it promised and had lasting benefits outside of what a sublime spa day already does. The massage costs R1 100 for 60 minutes, R1 210 for 75 minutes and R1 340 for 90 minutes and in my opinion it’s well worth it just for the good night’s sleep, let alone the luxe experience you receive.

    READ MORE: The 6 Greatest Recovery Tools That Ease Tight Muscles

    What To Book

    They currently have an amazing Scented Bliss package on offer that’s the ultimate spoil. You’ll have your massage in the Scented Garden. This package for two includes a side-by-side Herbal Oil Massage, Pressure Point Foot Massage and Scalp Ritual at R2450 (60 minutes) or R2970 (90 minutes).

    Alternatively, you can have one of their three unique massage treatments. There’s the CBD Wellness Journey for pain relief and immune boosting, Bellabaci Signature Massage for circulation and toxin elimination or the highly-recommended-by-me Muscle and Joint Magnesium Therapy Massage for fatigue and insomnia.

    Post-pamper, indulge with a bottle of crisp Steenberg 1682 Chardonnay Cap Classique and a refreshing dip in the pool. And it doesn’t have to end there; delight your taste buds with a Scented Garden private dining experience. At R1 250 per person, you’ll get to enjoy a three-course meal on the candlelit deck under the stars with the gentle sounds of trickling water from the garden’s water feature for ambience.

    How To Get More Magnesium In Your Diet

    Once you leave the Steenberg spa, you can still incorporate magnesium into your everyday life. These foods are rich in magnesium (click on the magnesium sources for delicious recipes using these ingredients):

    Pumpkin seeds

    Chia seeds

    Black beans

    Kidney beans

    Edamame beans

    Spinach

    Avocado

    Banana

    Potato with the skin on

    Almonds

    Cashews

    Peanut butter

    Brown rice

    Salmon

    Halibut

    Soy milk

    Whole wheat bread

    Low-fat yoghurt

    Oatmeal

    Fortified breakfast cereals

    Add These Magnesium Sources To Your Pantry

    Shop them from local brand, Faithful To Nature. You’ll have the magnesium magic sources at the ready every time you want to cook or have a snack.

    Chia seeds contain 335mg of magnesium per 100g.

    Pumpkin seeds contain 262mg of magnesium per 100g.

    Almonds contain 268mg of magnesium per 100g.

    Cashews contain 292mg of magnesium per 100g.

    1/2 cup of cooked black beans contains 60mg of magnesium.

    Kidney beans contain 140mg of magnesium per 100g.

    Peanut butter contains 154mg of magnesium per 100g.

    1 serving of instant oats contains 36mg of magnesium.

    1 cup of soy milk contains 61mg of magnesium.

    Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.

    Kelleigh is the Managing Editor of Women’s Health. When she’s not convincing her colleagues to try the latest TikTok trends, you can find her planning a holiday that never leaves the group chat, binge-reading or eating her way through Cape Town. More

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    I Ate Like the World’s Happiest Population for a Week, and I Actually Felt Happier

    The World Happiness Report recently released its list of the world’s happiest countries, with Finland claiming the top spot for the sixth year in a row. As someone who is always striving to live a healthier and happier life, I was curious about what the Finnish are doing that Americans aren’t (the United States ranked 15th on the list), so I decided to do a little digging into Finland’s wellness approach and eat like the world’s happiest women for a week. Read on to learn about the Nordic diet and what happened when I tried it for a week, as well as the other rituals that are supposedly responsible for Finland’s spot as the world’s happiest country. 

    The link between diet and mental health 
    Although diet isn’t one of the factors explored in the report, experts agree that what and how you eat dramatically impacts your mental wellbeing. “The gut contains 95% of the body’s serotonin, so nourishing ourselves with whole, natural foods that support digestion is integral to our mental health,” explained author and founder of wellness brand Bonberi, Nicole Berrie. “When the gut and digestive systems work optimally, the body can access serotonin.”
    Numerous studies have also highlighted the role diet plays on mental health. In fact, an entire emerging field (called nutritional psychiatry) is dedicated to the relationship between mood and food. Research shows healthy eating patterns that focus on whole foods are associated with better mental health than the standard American diet. Furthermore, one study found that diets rich in omega-3 fatty acids have the power to improve and prevent depression because of their anti-inflammatory effects on the brain. 

    The Nordic diet
    The Nordic diet originated from the traditional eating patterns of Nordic countries like Finland. This eating style emphasizes locally-sourced, nutrient-dense whole foods, such as fruits (mainly berries), vegetables (especially root vegetables like beets, turnips, and carrots), whole grains (particularly rye, barley and oats), legumes, nuts, and seeds. The main pillars that distinguish the Nordic diet is that it’s rich in fermented foods, like pickled vegetables, sauerkraut, and yogurt, providing your body with a healthy dose of probiotics. While similar to the Mediterranean diet, the Nordic diet includes more cold-water fish high in omega-3, like salmon and herring. I couldn’t find a study linking the Nordic diet to their place as the world’s happiest country, but it’s no surprise their diet is full of probiotics and omega-3s, knowing how much these factors have been shown to support mood.
    The Nordic diet is relatively unrestrictive. You don’t have to count calories or track macros, but you probably won’t find a lot of heavily processed foods, added sugars, and high-fat red meat. 

    My experience
    I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed eating like the Finnish for a week. Following the Nordic diet challenged me to be more inventive with my cooking and spend more time shopping at my local farmer’s market. By ditching takeout for home-cooked meals made with locally-grown ingredients, I felt more connected with what I was eating. This helped me stay present during mealtime and enjoy each bite of food. 
    I also love how this eating style didn’t force me to track what I ate, allowing me to take an intuitive approach to my meals. This made it easy to follow and enjoy the eating approach because I could simply eat foods I loved that were Nordic diet-approved (think: plant-foods, fermented veggies/yogurt, and omega-3 rich fish) rather than doing mental gymnastics and pulling up MyFitnessPal every time I wanted a snack. Some of my favorite meals from the week included smoked salmon toast with goat cheese, lentil vegetable soup with rice, and berries with yogurt and honey. 

    Other habits I incorporated throughout the week
    Obviously there are a lot of other factors Finland attributes to its happiness ranking than diet. Many experts point to its low levels of crime and good public services, or social support and income equality. But as for habits I could replicate in a week, I found three key habits Finnish citizens do regularly that I tried to emulate as well. 

    I moved more 
    Because I physically felt more energized from all the nourishing veggies, protein, and carbs I was eating, I incorporated more movement, hitting the trail with my dog daily. Research shows that regular exercise has a positive impact on mental health by reducing symptoms of depression and anxiety, improving mood, and enhancing cognitive function. So it’s no surprise that the world’s happiest people are also some of the most fit. 56% of Finnish adults get at least one hour of moderately intense activity a day.

    I spent more time outside
    The Finns also prioritize time spent outdoors, which is one of the reasons why experts believe Finland consistently ranks high on the list of the world’s happiest countries. In fact, 87% of Finns report that nature is important to them because of its mental health benefits. Since I started walking more, I also naturally spent more time outdoors. This resulted in a huge mood boost each day that I didn’t always notice from my indoor workouts. Research shows that spending time in nature helps reduce stress and anxiety by promoting relaxation and lowering levels of the stress hormone cortisol.

    I focused on quality time with the people I love 
    My husband and I often get stuck in the cycle of ordering takeout and parking it on the couch for a good Netflix binge. So although we’re in the same room together, we’re not actually spending quality time together. But while I was following the Nordic diet, I took time to carefully select ingredients and cooked our meals with love. This made us more inclined to enjoy dinner at the table rather than on the couch with the TV on. By doing this, we were able to better connect at the end of the day, which also gave me a significant happiness boost. 
    Experts agree that feeling connected with others has the power to improve mental health. Having a strong sense of community provides people with social support, a sense of belonging, and opportunities for meaningful engagement. Finland is known for its strong sense of community, with a culture that values social support, cooperation, and equality, which contributes to the country’s high levels of mental wellbeing.  

    The Final Verdict 
    So, did eating like the world’s happiest women actually make me feel happier? Honestly, yes. Creating meals based around whole foods I enjoyed gave me more energy throughout the day, which led to a domino effect of healthy decisions that improved my mood. My digestion also felt amazing with all of the gut-friendly foods (fiber and probiotics offer the optimal combination), and my life felt so much simpler to focus on the whole, fresh ingredients I had. 
    While I genuinely enjoyed following the Nordic diet for a week, it’s not the magic pill for happiness. Food can have a huge impact on our mental wellbeing, but it’s only one facet of what brings us joy. Instead, take a holistic approach to happiness that emphasizes nourishing the body with wholesome foods, moving more, and fostering meaningful connections with others.

    5 Traits All of the Happiest Women Have in Common More

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    The Detailed Morning Routine of the Internet’s Supplement Queen, Siff Haider

    Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

    As someone who falls squarely into the forgets-to-take-her-vitamins-every-morning camp, there’s no morning routine that I aspire to more than that of the supplement queen herself. By supplement queen I am (of course) referring to Siff Haider, co-founder of Arrae and host of The Dream Bigger Podcast. This week on The Everygirl Podcast, we’re sitting down with Siff to learn everything there is to know about supplements, entrepreneurship, and her personal wellness hacks.
    After struggling with her immune system and digestion, Siff turned to holistic medicine and quickly found that small changes made a huge difference for her well-being. She co-founded Arrae with her husband in 2020, and has been sharing her wellness journey online for years. Read on for Siff Haider’s super-detailed morning routine, and check out this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast for more.

    Coffee and journaling
    After she wakes up, scrapes her tongue, brushes her teeth, and chugs a bottle of water, Siff likes to sit down with a cup of coffee and her journal. Her go-to coffee is a cinnamon Americano, and she sips it for twenty minutes while she does nothing but write. According to Siff, her journaling routine is the most important, sacred ritual of her day. “I take so much joy from it,” she said on The Everygirl Podcast.
    Siff’s favorite kind of journaling is “Future You” journaling, which is a kind of manifestation journaling where you imagine your future self and write down every little detail you can imagine about her life. It’s an aspirational ritual that is so rewarding (and easy) to work into your own morning routine.

    Get outside and walk
    Siff prioritizes getting outside first thing in the morning and taking a quick walk. “My non-negotiables are getting outside in the morning for my walk, journaling, and movement whenever I can get it in,” she said on The Everygirl Podcast. Learning the benefits of walking as an exercise was a game-changer for her, because when she was younger, she thought she needed intense HIIT workouts and cardio to feel her best. But now she knows it’s the little things like walking that have made the biggest difference in her health journey.

    Resistance training or Pilates
    Movement is another non-negotiable in Siff’s morning routine, and for her, the best ways to get active are weightlifting at the gym or taking a Pilates class. “Building muscle is what protects you from degeneration when you’re older,” she said. “It allows you to stay more vibrant for a longer period of time. I’m really interested in the longevity play.” However, Siff emphasizes that there’s no need to follow the exact workout that anyone else is doing in order to discover a morning movement that is effective for you. To her, it’s all about finding and doing what your body loves. More

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    Lazy Girl Workouts Are Having a Moment—These Are the Ones Worth Trying

    We all have those days where we just can’t muster the energy to make it to the gym, let alone get off the couch, but still crave some movement to get those feel-good endorphins going. Enter: lazy girl workout workouts, AKA exercises you can do while you binge-watch, lie down, or sit at your desk. Yoga and fitness TikToker @blonde.ish_yogi takes it a step further, demonstrating that you can get your heart pumping without even leaving your bed. OK, so you may not break a sweat jumping on the lazy girl workout trend (that’s the extent of jumping you’ll be doing, BTW), but the end goal is just to move—gently and efficiently. Did I mention PJs are welcome? Ahead, eight routines that you can hit “play” on while remaining horizontal. No equipment necessary. 
     

    @blonde.ish_yogi
    Lazy girl workout #fitnesstiktok #nojudgement #fyp #tiktokworkout #fitness #glutes #core #fitmoms #foryou
    ♬ Body – Megan Thee Stallion

    If you don’t want to get out of bed…
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    Stay in bed while Dayana Wang leads you through a full-body workout, complete with angled leg lifts, knees-to-elbows, bear planks, wide-knee squats, and more. Don’t worry—your abs won’t feel left out with all of the versions of crunches Wang throws in. Needless to say, she packs in a lot in ten short minutes. 

    If you don’t want to stop mid-way through your Hulu marathon…
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    You don’t have to press “pause” on Tiny Beautiful Things just when it’s getting good to fit in a mini workout, thanks to Vicky Justiz and her 10-minute couch routine. Expect to work your booty, abs, and shoulders with a mix of glute bridges, leg raises, and arm pulses, just to name a few. Before you know it, you’ll be done and still have the rest of the episode to kick back and relax.

    If you could use a break from the bed or couch…
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    Meet Fit by Lys on the floor with your mat (your couch and bed aren’t going anywhere) for an interval-based sesh. Translation: You’ll work for 40 seconds, then have 20 seconds to rest before you move on to the next exercise. Think: glute bridges, knee push-ups, cross-to-kicks (hello, booty), plank, and a few stretches woven in. By the end of the 15-minute workout, you’ll feel long and lean. 

    If you want to focus on just abs…
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    Follow Audrey Koomar‘s quickie core burner for a line-up that includes exercises like dead bugs, heel taps, and a spicy adaptation of leg raises. Spoiler: You’ll be lying on your back the entire 10 minutes. No excuses here. 

    If upper body only is speaking your language…
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    Start toning those arms à la Fitnessa who guides you through 15 minutes of arm movements, kicking off and ending with arm circle variations. While the routine requires you to stay sitting up throughout it, trust me—it meets the lazy girl workout criteria. The best part? Do it in bed, on the sofa, or at your desk in between meetings (or go camera-off to multitask). 

    If Pilates is your cup of tea…
    [embedded content]
    LivAligned Pilates puts the chill in Netflix and chill with her lazy girl workout, Pilates style. Join Liv in a calming leg lift and glute bridge series, finished off with a hip-opening stretch that will feel oh-so-good. The result? A burst of unexpected energy. 

    If you can’t be bothered to leave your desk…
    [embedded content]
    Give your abs, booty, and arms some love with this 7-minute chair workout from Love Sweat Fitness. Knee crunch, tricep dip, squat hold and pulse, and push up your way to a boost in your mood and brainpower. Carry out the routine to break up your work day or close out your 9-5. Bonus points: You just may notice sitting (and standing) taller after you’re done. 

    If you’re ready for more of a challenge…
    [embedded content]
    To up the ante in your lazy girl era, look no further than this 30-minute ab and booty scorcher created by Halie‘s Workout Programs. You’ll start with a warm-up, followed by everything from pulsing leg raises to lying hamstring curls to side planks. Halie demonstrates each exercise with dumbbells and just bodyweight, so pick your poison. 

    This Low-Impact Workout Is Taking Over FitTok, and All You Need Is a Wall More

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    The Books WH Editors Are Loving Right Now, Plus Must-Have Reading Tools

    We could wax lyrical about the plethora of books at your disposal and how they’re amazing for the wellbeing of your body and mind. Or we could refer you to #booktok, where any and all book goes, with a suitable aesthetic to match (bookstore, anyone?). But we know you know all that. What you don’t know are the books WH editors are loving and turning to as we take in brief siestas in April. Without any ado, the top reads we recommend you pull from the shelf and sink your teeth into.

    The books WH Editors Are Loving RN

    How To Kill Men And Get Away With It by Katy Brent

    “Fast-paced, dark, twisted and hilarious, this will get you out of any reading rut. If you’re a fan of Gone Girl, love a good female anti-hero or just need a break from predictable romance novels, you’ll love this book.”

    – Kelleigh Korevaar, managing editor

    Almost Adulting by Arden Rose

    “Just when we think we know how to be the “perfect adult”, life happens. This book covers a wide range of topics on how to become a “proper” grown up and how to survive adulthood.”

    – Chamain van Zyl, digital editor

    Verity by Colleen Hoover

    “I hadn’t read a book in a while and wanted to get back into it. This is the exact book that did it for me. From cover to cover, I read Lowen’s journey within a day. Couldn’t put it down. I won’t say anything more but it’s a must-read for mystery lovers.”

    – Michelle October, features editor

    The Seat Of The Soul by Gary Zukav

    “There isn’t a single conversation between my baby brother and I in which he doesn’t quote this book – which naturally drew me to it. The book’s teachings – such a deeper understanding of our actions, motivations and how the Universe operates at a ‘soul’ level are truly life-altering. Be warned: Heavy focus is required – definitely not the kind of book to read when feeling distracted.”

    – Kemong Mopedi, deputy editor

    Hear The Wind Sing by Haruki Murakami

    “One of the books I keep coming to. One of his earliest novels in which he writes about himself working at a jazz bar. It’s real and gritty and beautiful.”

    – Pia Hammond, creative director

    My Year Of Rest And Relaxation By Otessa Moshfegh

    “This is a story about a woman pursuing a year of hibernation from the world. In its ramblings there is something profound to be said – or so reviewers think. I haven’t read this one yet but it’s one I’m so looking forward to.”

    – Michelle October, features editor

    You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

    “There’s just something about a self-improvement book that gives life lessons with a humourous and hilarious outlook on life, that I absolutely love. From the reviews I’ve read, this book is like your best friend who doesn’t hold back. She gives you the straight and narrow answer you don’t want to hear, but with advice on how to change your situation.”

    – Chamain van Zyl, digital editor

    A Spell of Good Things by Ayobami Adebayo

    “I have loved award-winning Nigerian author Ayọ̀bámi’s work since reading her debut offering Stay With Me in 2019 – a book whose ending had me bawling my eyes out and sealed my fandom. I’ve only heard great things about A Spell of Good Things and can’t wait to get lost in its wealth, political corruption and romantic obsession storyline.”

    – Kemong Mopedi, deputy editor

    Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro

    “A moving novel of three characters trying to understand their purpose. It’s a sad and fragile read.”

    – Pia Hammond, creative director

    Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton

    “This has been my favourite read of 2023 (I’ve read it almost 20) and it’s one I will gift my girlfriends whenever I get the chance. It’s perfect if you feel like you’re stumbling through your 20s/30s and shows such a raw, real and beautiful side to being a young woman. Guaranteed to be a book you pass around your friendship group.”

    – Kelleigh Korevaar, managing editor

    We rate these reading tools as suitable aides for long sessions lost in the world of your book.

    Bending Man Bookmark Light

    This bookmark is just bendy enough to fold over your current chapter but not so bendy that it collapses. It’ll hold firm over that Game Of Thrones while shining much-needed light for evening sessions.

    Memory Foam Pillow

    Convert any uncomfortable chair into your reading nook with this soft, plush cushion that creates support along the back and supports your sides. Wanna curl up on the floor? This is your pal.

    Purple Hydraulic Book Light

    This purple gadget firmly clamps down on stubborn pages and holds firm, while giving you light to get through the next gripping chapter.

    Brown Kindle cover

    If you’re the Kindle type, hurray for you! This cover holds your reader and makes it feel kind of book-ish, while holding other essentials like cards.

    Cuddly Reader

    Um, this couldn’t be any cuter! It’ll hold up your book or tablet or Kindle for those sessions spent in different positions.

    Sixth Floor Eero chair

    Every reader needs a really good chair and this fits the bill. Wide enough to cosy up with your legs draped around for extended periods lost in another world. More

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    The Happiest and Healthiest Women in the World Prioritize This Over Everything Else

    Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what defines a happy and healthy life. Maybe it’s one made up of a morning routine, workouts you love, and a job that you’re passionate about. Or maybe it’s filled with travel and adventure, the ability to make meals that nourish you, and living in your dream home. I’m fortunate to be able to say that I’ve experienced many of the above, and they’ve all brought joy to my life in one way or another. But when reflecting on when I was truly the happiest and healthiest version of myself, it wasn’t about any of that. Rather, it was when I was spending time with the people I love and who love me—AKA experiencing social connection. 
    While factors such as exercise and eating balanced meals are still vital to living a healthy and happy life, the healthiest women aren’t healthy because they’re prioritizing a strict schedule of workouts, salads, and supplements. Instead, they’re treating their bodies well, but first and foremost prioritizing a life that includes date nights with their S.O., walks with friends, hosting dinner parties, etc. Read on for why social connection is so essential to happiness, and how to get a daily dose of it yourself.

    Why you should prioritize social connection
    Researchers define social connection as a core psychological need embedded in our biology and evolutionary history. When we experience social connection, we lower our risk of anxiety and depression, experience greater self-esteem, and have more empathy for others. Positive social relationships can impact our physical health too, lowering inflammation and aiding immune health. One study even showed that lack of social connection is a greater detriment to our health than obesity, smoking, and high blood pressure.
    When we experience intimate social connections, our body releases a hormone called oxytocin (also known as the love hormone). Oxytocin–which the body releases when cuddling, laughing, having sex, talking with a loved one, holding a baby, etc.–can reduce blood pressure and cortisol levels and promote growth and healing. From mental to physical health, prioritizing social connection and human connection is essential to our entire wellbeing. 

    How to prioritize social connection

    1. Say “yes” more often
    It’s easy to live in our comfort zones and avoid the things that scare us or opportunities that may be challenging, but when I look at the happiest and healthiest women I know, they are the ones who take chances and say “yes” to change. In one of my favorite books, The Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes chronicles her year of saying “yes” to everything in order to get outside of her comfort zone more, which included giving a commencement speech to spending more time with the people she loves. Try taking an audit of your life and looking into areas where you are currently saying “no,” but could be saying “yes.” Maybe it’s plans with your friends, going to a workout class, eating lunch with colleagues, or visiting your family. If you change your mindset to be more open to opportunities for social connection, it may just lead to greater happiness.  

    2. Schedule more social outings
    Yes, you should allow for ample you-time to recharge alone, but genuine connection with people you love is another important way you should regularly be relieving stress. After a long day at work, maybe the last thing you want to is call to your mom, meet up with a new friend for dinner, or actually talk to your partner over dinner instead of eating on the couch with Netflix playing. While some time alone can be incredibly important, make sure you’re intentional about that alone time, rather than because it’s a habit or in your comfort zone. Scheduling phone calls with loved ones or plans with friends in advance can ensure you keep up with regular social connection.
    If scheduling a dinner with friends or family every week still sounds exhausting, I feel you. Scheduling a social outing doesn’t have to be something that involves a large group of friends or costs a lot of money. It can be as simple as going for a walk with your mom, FaceTiming a friend who lives far away, volunteering, joining a group fitness class, or taking a class to improve your skills where you can connect with other people with the same hobbies that you have.

    3. Try socializing more at work
    Hate to break it to you, but we spend most of our lives at work. Sometimes we see our colleagues more often than we do our friends and family. That’s why the happiest women are doing everything they can to make their jobs more fulfilling, including forming genuine connections with the people they work with. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve shied away from making friendships at work. I’ve too often been the girl with her head down at her computer, avoiding the awkward water cooler chitchat. But when I moved positions in my company a couple of years ago, I looked at it as a fresh start, a chance to socialize more with coworkers, and as a manager, set an example of what a team environment could look like.
    It turns out, socializing with co-workers makes going to work ten times more enjoyable (surprise, surprise). Making connections at work doesn’t have to just be amongst your team or during lunch. It can also be done through company events or by seeking out those who have similar interests (i.e. try starting a book club, fitness club, or after-work happy hour). If you prefer keeping your social life and work life separate, simply giving a compliment to or checking in with a colleague can go a long way. Self-employed and work by yourself? Networking with other people in your industry can not only provide more work opportunities, but help you feel a little bit of human connection every time you catch up with them them at an event, reach out to ask for advice, or bounce ideas off of each other. 

    4. Sign up for group activities
    While prioritizing social connections is vital for our health, forcing social connections definitely isn’t. If you’re struggling to connect with the people in your life, expanding your social circle may be the key to becoming happier. And signing up for group activities is an easy way to meet new people in a natural environment. If you love to cook, sign up for a cooking class. If you love animals, volunteer at an animal shelter. If you love fitness, sign up for a workout class. There are so many group activities out there for any interest, and by joining a group with people who have similar passions, you’ll be well on your way to forming new connections. 

    5. Get outside 
    It may seem simple, but half the battle of being more social is getting outside your home. The happiest and healthiest women make a consistent effort to foster connections, whether it’s chatting it up with the baristas at their local coffee shop or getting to know their neighbors when taking the dog for a walk. If we’re open to it, social connections can be made anywhere. While it may feel uncomfortable or awkward at times to make new ones, putting yourself in situations where they are possible means you’re already halfway there. So the next time you see the opportunity to start a conversation at the dog park or while sitting next to someone in a coffee shop, don’t pass it up.

    5 Traits All of the Happiest Women Have in Common More