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    How to Get in the Mood

    When our in-person social lives dwindled (er, absolutely tanked), you’d think our libido would go up ten-fold. There literally is nothing else in the world to do than have sex or masturbate. But don’t fret; if your libido has seriously taken a hit since staying at home, you’re not alone. Many of us are feeling an immense amount of stress right now: work, health, relationships, current events—it’s no wonder we’re not excited to have sex! “During this time many people are affected by the quarantine in different ways,” said Board Certified Sex Therapist, Ieshai T. Bailey, CMHC, LMHC, CST. “Depending on the situation, stress levels are at an all time high. And stress isn’t sexy! Stress, specifically chronic stress, can have a significant impact on our sex lives. Chronic stress causes us to produce the hormone cortisol which in turn lowers our libido.” 
    So, how exactly do we slough off that stress and get busy? If you’re wondering how to boost your sex life right now, getting your libido back to where it was is the start, and it doesn’t have to be weird or awkward. Here, we’re discussing easy ways to get in the mood and get back to amazing sex right away.

    Find healthy ways to cope with stress
    “Getting back sexually after the pandemic can start with lowering our stress levels and finding other ways to cope,” Bailey said. Obviously, getting our stress levels down is a goal for any of us right now. But, as Bailey points out, it might be one of the most important things we do for our sex lives this year. “Our sex lives are not only affected by hormones, but other factors as well, such as psychological and social factors. Getting back to being close and intimate with others, and taking care of our mental health and physical well-being can be helpful.”
    So, how do we start? Well, for starters, stress-reducing behaviors are pretty personal, so if you know what works for you (taking a bath, reading a book, having a dance party in the kitchen, going for a run, etc.), do that. But there are some other ways you have both reduce stress and purposefully get your mind in the gutter for once. 

    Get some sleep
    If you’re not well-rested, you’re likely not going to be too excited to ruffle around in the covers. But how the heck do we get more sleep right now? Likely, this tip has to be performed in tandem with another way to relax so that you can sleep. Our editors love CBD (especially CBD baths!), staying off technology before bed, and exercising in the evening.

    Talk about sex 
    Although it might seem awkward, the simple act of talking about sex with your friends and partners can get your head in the right space. Think about what makes sex fun and why you enjoy it; then, ask yourself what you want to have in your sex life.

    Build intimacy
    If you’re with a partner, do things that build intimacy without having sex. Communicate with each other beyond “how was work today?” when you sit down for dinner. Do activities that you enjoy together. Be vulnerable with each other. Appeal to each other’s Love Language. Do what you can to inspire intimacy and thoughtfulness between each other that don’t involve sex. This will might ultimately encourage the two of you to seek intimacy in other ways, *wink wink*. 

    Talk to your partner about your libido
    If you’re finding that your partner’s libido is higher than yours at the moment, talk about it. Having a libido that’s lower than your partner happens often, and it’s not the end of a relationship. Talk about what’s going on with you and why you’re feeling the way you do. Can’t put your finger on the issue? That’s OK! Getting it out and telling your partner that you’re feeling a certain way is the perfect start.

    Get touchy 
    Although you might not be ready to go full-blast into having sex, simply being touchy with your partner might inspire it later on. Touch their arm while you’re watching TV, or play with their hair. This also goes beyond having a partner. If you’re trying to boost your libido on your own, the act of getting comfortable with your body once again might do it. Don’t be afraid to touch yourself in the shower and enjoy it! Get naked even when you’re just sitting around. Being comfortable with yourself is an important part of boosting your libido, as your sex drive can plummet when you feel insecure or uncomfortable with yourself. 

    Engage in mutual masturbation
    Sometimes, it can feel uncomfortable to have sex, but you feel OK masturbating on your own. If you have a partner, ask if they would be interested in mutual masturbation, or masturbating together. For one, it’s hot AF. But it’s also another way to build that magical intimacy between the two of you. Inspire that intimacy even further by getting sexual in a way that doesn’t seem uncomfortable or “too much” for you right now. 

    Exercise
    Not only does regular exercise reduce stress and relax the body, but it’s also a great way to feel confident and strong. Don’t tell me that you don’t feel at least a little sexy after completing a hard workout? Yes, you’re sweaty and maybe more than a little flushed, but maybe your arms look more defined than last week, or you lifted a heavier weight and feel stronger than ever. Being comfortable with yourself and your body is a great starting point to feeling better in the bedroom. Bailey recommended exercise as a way to reduce stress and get your libido back, so it’s totally sex therapist-approved. 
    If you want to exercise with your partner, have at it! Exercise alone is libido-boosting, but together, it’s like a whole form of foreplay. 

    Do things that make you feel sexy
    Again, we’re all about making you feel hot and confident in the bedroom. Before you want to have sex with your partner or yourself, do those little things that make you feel like a million bucks. Take a bath with one of your expensive bath bombs, get in lingerie, walk around naked, dry brush—these are just a few examples of easy ways to get yourself in the zone. 

    Read (or listen to!) erotica
    Erotica doesn’t have to be a book called something like “The Huntress’ Maiden” with an absolutely jarring image of two barely clothed individuals. Read these steamy romance novels that actually have a whole plot and storyline you’ll love, plus lots and lots of absolutely hot sex. We also love Dipsea, an app for audio erotica that will absolutely blow your socks off.  More

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    14 Things to Do If You Get Dumped That Don’t Include Texting Your Ex

    I don’t know who needs to hear this but: don’t. text. your. ex.We’ve all been there: post-breakup, wondering where things went wrong, wanting to dig up the dirt with hopes of uncovering that one piece of artifact that might give you an ounce of closure. Rejection in any form hurts, but feeling rejected by someone you love dearly hits differently.
    Navigating the post-relationship dating scene after experiencing a breakup is hard enough as it is, but, I think I speak for a lot of us when I say that adding a global pandemic to the situation makes things exponentially more complicated. So it’s no surprise if you’ve been considering reaching out to revisit the idea of familiar past relationships.
    Heidi McBain, a Texas-based counselor for women, moms, and moms-to-be, has had her fair share of experience helping women who have struggled through breakups and divorces. “[Texting your previous partner] may be a default response,” she said. “When you were together, they were your go-to person when times were hard. When you’re going through a period of transition, it can be easy to fall back into old patterns, especially if you don’t yet have a good social support system in place that doesn’t include your ex.”
    Speaking from personal experience, I’ve found that nothing good has ever come out of texting my ex after we uncoupled. Time after time, I looked for closure and comfort from him and was often left feeling unsettled, as he didn’t have the answers I was seeking. After too many times of extending the olive branch and being left with feelings of defeat, I learned that, in my case, I couldn’t look for happiness in the place that I lost it. I started to heal once I stopped looking back.
    Texting your ex can be tempting, but I promise you, you’ll feel better if you don’t. Instead, McBain suggested identifying your support system and practicing self-care. What exactly does that look like? We’ve got you covered:

    1. Call or FaceTime a friend 
    McBain advised redirecting your impulse to reach out to that certain someone, and instead, reaching out to a friend or family member you love. Whether you want to vent or be distracted, talking to someone you love can help you to feel connected if you’re feeling isolated.

    2. Watch a comedy
    Sometimes, when life is hard, you might find yourself in need of a good laugh. I’m not sure if watching a comedy series counts as self-care, but binge-watching The Office post-breakup was my personal saving grace. If you’re looking for a new comedy to watch, check out these 11 comedies that are sure to help you look on the brighter side of things. 

    3. Clean out your closet
    Yes, that includes that hoodie of theirs that you (previously) love(d) to snuggle up with. It’s dead to us now and simply must go. Cleaning out your closet can be a great metaphor for a fresh start and will give you an opportunity to donate old clothes to someone who needs them more than you. Also, an obvious bonus, you’ll have more space for all of the Anthropologie goodies you have in your online shopping cart.

    4. Volunteer at an animal shelter
    Get in on a little bit of puppy/kitty lovin’ by volunteering at your local animal shelter. If you’re a person who can be cured by animal snuggles, reaching out to see how you can help and getting some playtime with some furry friends (without the commitment) can be a great and wholesome distraction. Pups would never leave you on read, sis. If you reach out to your local shelter, please be mindful of their quarantine precautions and protect yourself, fellow volunteers, and staff. Never go to a public place if you have symptoms of COVID-19 or know someone close to you who has it. If they’re closed to the public at this time, fostering or adopting a furry friend could be a lovely alternative to look in to. 

    5. Print out pictures of your friends and family, and switch out old pictures of your ex-S.O.
    Switch out old photos in your current frames to better reflect your current social circle. Being surrounded by pictures of wonderful memories and others that you love can be a great way to remind yourself of how loved you are and of all the goodness you have experienced.

    Source: Daria Shevtsova | Pexels

    OK, let me make this clear. Do not, I repeat, do not cut your bangs in a frenzy post-breakup. While I don’t condone cutting your own hair, I am a firm believer that a professionally-crafted, fresh cut or color can be a great way to revive your style, and can give you that pep in your step you’ve been missing. While it’s important to pick a stylist based on Yelp reviews and before and after results on their personal page, it’s now equally as important to ask the salon what precautions they will be following to prioritize infection control so that you can leave with fresh hair and fresh hair only.

    7. Make a list of the things you’re grateful for
    Good things are all around us, but when you’re feeling low or are fixated on finding closure after a breakup, it can be easy to lose sight of the positives. If you’re reaching for the phone to text your ex, divert your attention to your Notes app, a journal, or a nearby sticky note. I challenge you to reflect on five things you’re grateful for. According to Harvard Health Publishing, practicing gratitude can make you a happier person. So let’s get to writing, ladies.

    Getting up and moving is always a good idea (bonus: McBain approved this activity too). If you’re feeling down, going on a small walk or going all out at an online scheduled workout class can be a great way to get your endorphins pumping, which can have a positive effect on your mood. And that’s a self-care activity we can get behind.

    Source: Taryn Elliott | Pexels

    Journaling is another McBain-endorsed activity to channel your emotions into if you’re struggling with a breakup. Allowing yourself the space to reflect on your feelings and put them on paper can help you sort through a mess of thoughts. Get yourself a pen and a notebook, and you’re set.

    If you’re looking for another therapeutic, hands-on activity to help fill a void after a breakup, try a hand at baking. Pick out a recipe you’ve been dying to try, put on some feel-good music, and get to cooking. Relieving stress and having a yummy treat as the end reward? Sounds like a win-win situation to me.

    11. Research therapists in your area and consider making an appointment
    As great as it is to have support from friends and family during a rough time, it can be helpful to consider speaking to a therapist if you’re having trouble cutting ties with your ex, McBain noted. Transitioning out of a relationship and assuming a single identity is no easy feat. You may find yourself ruminating on the past and therapists can be a wonderful resource to helping you develop cognitive tools to help you to reframe your thoughts and move forward. Right now, many therapists are offering online therapy sessions which are a great option to seek professional care amidst the pandemic. 

    Source: Ketut Subiyanto | Pexels

    12. Download a dating app to see what’s out there
    If you’re a dating app skeptic like I was, hear me out: downloading a dating app can be a new way for you see what’s out there and to remind you that you’ve still got it. The idea of swiping seems superficial (and let’s be candid, it kind of is), but the connections that people make on the app can be very real. Downloading a dating app can be a low commitment way to dip your toes in the water if you’re looking to get back out there. If you’re not ready yet, that’s fine too! Save this one for when you are.

    When I was experiencing my first breakup, I was pretty self-centered. Not in a bad way … during the heartbreak, I needed to focus my energy on myself to keep it together and to figure out exactly what I needed to heal. After a while of being in my own head, one of the things that I found brought me joy was reaching out to others and helping them where I could. PSA: I don’t mean taking on a laundry list of someone else’s problems, because that won’t be helpful to you. Rather, partake in a simple, random act of kindness to spread some positivity. A good place to start? Send a love letter to a friend.

    Source: Daria Shevtsova | Pexels

    14. Rearrange your furniture
    You mean all those years of shamelessly watching hours of HGTV might actually pay off? Rearranging your furniture can be an easy way to switch up your design aesthetic and can be a great project to tackle while you’re looking to move forward and create a new reality for yourself. 

    If you need to cry, do it. If you want to scream, open your window and let it out. Experiencing a breakup is a loss, and grieving loss looks different in each of us. Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. We know you’re worth it. We’re here for you, girlfriend.  More

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    7 Little Things You Can Do for a Better Workout, According to Research

    Exercise is polarizing—some people love it, some simply tolerate it, and some dread it. But one thing we can all agree on is that optimizing our workouts sounds pretty good. Whether you can’t live without your early morning spin classes or you have to force yourself to go on those bi-weekly runs, you can benefit from giving your workout a little boost. If you don’t believe us, we have the research to back us up. And here’s the best part: these handy tips and tricks won’t make your go-to workout anymore expensive than it is right now. (And most of them won’t add any time to your workout—some will even save you time!). Keep reading for seven things you can do for a better workout.
    1. Stretch it out
    When you’re rushing to squeeze in a workout, stopping to stretch before and after is easy to skip. (Kind of like flossing. Oops.) Stretching is imperative for maintaining muscle health, strength, and flexibility. A few 30-second stretches can help you get ready for a workout, and you should try to stretch again after an aerobic or weight-training workout.

    2. Snack right
    It seems there are two types of pre-workout foods people reach for: some choose to carbo load and others rely on protein-packed shakes to get the job done. It turns out that both groups are right, but there’s no need to choose one or the other. In fact, an expert panel report in Nutrition Today reminded readers that carbs, proteins, and fats are important energy sources for workouts. Protein is especially important for strength training athletes, carbohydrates are a necessary energy source for high-intensity performances, and fats are key for sustaining active people during lower-intensity training bouts. That’s right, a well-rounded diet will do more good for those looking to improve their performances than loading up on just protein or carb heavy meals. No more playing favorites.

    Source: Livvyland

    3. Drink water
    When you sweat, your body loses water, which can lead to dehydration and workout struggles. Let’s say you lose just 2 percent of your body weight in fluids: a study from the University of North Carolina found that will make your workout feel harder, make recovery post-workout more challenging, and will reduce exercise performance. Here’s the real kicker: their study found that gym-goers typically sweat out a whopping 6-10 percent of body weight in fluids. Chances are, some of us are dehydrated before we even hit the gym. Be careful and drink some water before, during, and after your next workout.

    4. Get balanced
    It’s all about the core strength. According to a study in Current Sports Medicine, exercising in a way that incorporates balance can stimulate more core muscles than if you did the exact same exercise in a stable position. In turn, having a strong core improves your overall balance and stability, which is a benefit you will feel outside the gym as well. Planks, sit ups, and fitness ball exercises are all easy examples of how you can give your core a little love. Did we mention that having a strong core can lead to rock hard abs and make physical activities easier in general?

    5. Mix it up with high intensity
    For all you busy gals out there—aka all of us—it’s time to speed up your workout a bit. No need to cut corners though—high-intensity exercises are harder to do, but are done for a shorter amount of time than similar workout methods. If you’re short on time but are willing to give it your all, you might just be able to wrap up your workout early.

    Source: The Rustic Foodie

    6. Head outdoors
    Let’s give a shout out to the journal of Environmental Science and Technology for pointing out that heading outside for a workout can lead to the exerciser feeling more energetic than it does to those who work indoors. Next time you need to blow off some steam, blow it off outside.

    7. Enjoy a cup of joe
    Last, but not least, this may just be our favorite finding. If you’ve been looking for a justification for that second—OK third—cup of coffee, then incentivize yourself with a nice pre-workout caffeine buzz. As you know, caffeine boosts your energy, and it turns out caffeine is as helpful during a workout as when you’re about to fall asleep during that 3pm meeting. A study in the International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism found that drinking a cup of coffee before a workout can improve performance and energy expenditure. If you really need help in the motivation department, a study in the Journal of Applied Physiology found that simply drinking a cup of coffee pre-workout can actually make your workout feel more enjoyable. Bottoms up! More

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    What Relocating for Love Taught Me About Independence

    I have always admired people that seem to have lived multiple lives. You know who I mean, those people who’ve worked different careers, lived in different cities or countries, maybe even been married more than once. I envied their courage to pivot and redefine themselves. They were leading full and exciting lives. I had always hoped to one day be one of those people, but when I was finally presented with an opportunity to change my life, I found myself surprisingly hesitant. I’m American-born, Nigerian-bred walking contradiction. I was always intensely career-driven, but harbored fantasies of being Suzy Homemaker. When I was growing up, I rejected all the things I was told I must do “because I was a girl,” despite the fact that I actually really loved doing them. I’ve always pushed myself really hard and gone for the practical route over my true desires, for instance, majoring in finance when I really would’ve preferred to study art history. Could you blame me? I was consistently well-rewarded for doing just that. So, when my future husband offered me the chance to move to Paris, be Suzy Homemaker for a while, spend my time in the greatest art museums, and begin a second chapter of my life, all my worst impulses to stay the familiar, but measurably rewarding route reared their ugly heads. The journey toward finally saying “yes” to my dreams revealed to me my patterns of self-denial and my attachment to my identity—and to the approval of others. 

    I’ve always pushed myself really hard and gone for the practical route over my true desires, for instance, majoring in finance when I really would’ve preferred to study art history. Could you blame me? I was consistently well-rewarded for doing just that.

    I moved to New York City in 2005 to pursue a career in fashion, working for some of my dream brands. As the years continued to pass, I thrived. My life was good—repetitive, but good. When I started approaching 10 years in New York, I started to feel this consistent malaise that I could not verbalize. I felt like I was living the same life year after year. The jobs would change, the apartments and the boyfriends, but it felt like I was rewriting the same chapter of the book of my life. So—ever Ms. Practical— what did I do to counter the malaise? I applied to business school! 
    I went on the circuit, visiting and applying to top programs. I took the GMAT, wrote the essays, connected with alumni. I really made my life hell for two years when deep down, I knew that what I was really searching for was a justifiable way to blow up my current life and transition into the next one. After getting into some great schools, I sobered up and challenged myself to find a less expensive way to seek change. So back on the treadmill I went, continuing the upward, repetitive-but-familiar climb. 

    Back on the treadmill I went, continuing the upward, repetitive-but-familiar climb. 

    Source: @thenonster

    Then came March 2017, I was having one of the best years of my life working my dream job, in great shape, enjoying the fruits of my labor. The malaise had subsided a bit. One day, I agreed to a dinner date with a very nice Italian guy named Alessandro, who was visiting from Paris for a work conference. He was so open, happy, considerate, and fun. I instantly felt safe with him. We began a long-distance relationship between New York and Paris and five months into the relationship began serious discussions about getting engaged and being in the same city. After lots of analysis, we agreed that I would move to Paris because I had always wanted to live in Europe, the quality of life is better than New York City’s, and, well, it’s Paris. The plan was: I would move in May of the following year, take intense French lessons for a few months, and then start looking for jobs in the fall. I was thrilled. I had started working at 15 and had never taken a break in my life. 
    I worked up the nerve to tell my company that I would be leaving in a few months. But they dropped a bomb in my lap, offering me an even bigger role than the one I would be leaving. This was the best company and people I had ever worked for. I had never felt more supported and recognized in my career, and it would be a difficult environment to replicate anywhere in the world. How could I pass this up? I asked for some days to think. In my head, while I was already spending all the extra money and smiling proudly at my career trajectory, I was debating if I was really willing to deny myself my dreams of a slower pace in Paris for more “success.” Alone at night, that familiar malaise returned, along with anxiety-induced sleeplessness. 

    In my head, while I was already spending all the extra money and smiling proudly at my career trajectory, I was debating if I was really willing to deny myself my dreams of a slower pace in Paris for more “success.” Alone at night, that familiar malaise returned, along with anxiety-induced sleeplessness. 

    Alessandro saw the turmoil I was in and suggested we reconsider choosing New York because he couldn’t bear to feel he had ever held me back. Once he said that, I was met immediately with feelings of dread instead of relief. It’s like the proverbial coin flip that reveals your deepest desires right before the face of the coin is revealed. I wanted to go because, even though our combined incomes would be higher than in Paris, so would our cost of living and stress levels. I would be under pressure to deliver in the new role, traveling more, and managing a partner that was adjusting to New York City. He’d be the one taking a break he never asked for while waiting for a visa. We would both lose the social safety nets and protections that come with working in France, such as excellent affordable healthcare and job security. Finally, I wouldn’t be able to take those few months off, spend time learning French, or live in Europe. I couldn’t begin my second life. Ms. Practical wondered, “is that the price you must pay for success?” In hindsight, it feels like the answer was so obvious, but in the moment, I couldn’t see it because I was supposed to be an independent woman! But was I actually? Isn’t the truth that there is a dependency to our “independence?”

     Isn’t the truth that there is a dependency to our independence?

    Hear me out: If you’re consistently aware that you’re sitting on a house of cards, constantly competing, plotting, and striving, knowing that all you have can be yanked away at the whim of “management,” with a disappointing bonus, or the next economic downturn, are you really independent? More independent than a housewife? Maybe we are all dependent on something and shouldn’t measure ourselves or each other with that label.  
    So, I told myself to make the decision as if I lived in a world with no judgement. What did I really want? I wanted to slow down, to take a break and allow myself to need someone who wanted so badly for me to need him. I wanted to live in Europe. To start a business. Once that became clear I needed to examine why I had been holding onto my old life with clenched fists and a tight jaw; clinging to my fashion career, insisting on staying at the front of a rat-race that was eating me up inside with anxiety and constant worrying. The answer was because we attach our self-esteem to our jobs, to the brands, titles, and salaries. How would I introduce myself at parties without a big title? How could I show the progression of my life if not with promotions? The realization that my attachment to my old identity and fear of being judged was holding me back and costing me my happiness, made it easier to let go. So, I did. I resigned, emptied out my apartment, and booked a one-way ticket. It had been a very long time since I had felt the feeling of freedom that I felt when we drove the U-Haul out of New York City. One of the most exhilarating moments of my life was standing at Charles de Gaulle airport, a week later, with my nine suitcases and a clear calendar.

    Source: @thenonster

    How would I introduce myself at parties without a big title? How could I show the progression of my life if not with promotions? The realization that my attachment to my old identity and fear of being judged was holding me back and costing me my happiness, made it easier to let go. So, I did.

    Source: @thenonster

    Making the move was one big step, the second would be coming to terms with it, because the guilt that I was wasting my life and my brain didn’t magically disappear upon my arrival in France. I remember sitting in French classes full of mostly students, feeling old and silly.
    It was in conversations with my mentors and girlfriends that I got clarity, support, and maybe even a little envy. They reminded me that everyone wanted to be me. I had a responsibility to acknowledge the privilege to be able to rest and reflect on how I had spent my previous years, and a duty to use the time to thoughtfully ponder what to do next. Where was Alessandro in all this you wonder? Practically begging me to stop thinking and allow my next move to reveal itself. 
    This experience showed me that so many women were feeling the same way I had been feeling: in their attachment to their status and identities, some were tired of the pressure, questioning the career paths they were on, weighing the money and prestige against the lost time, discarded dreams, and cost to their mental health, relationships, and happiness. I also noticed how so many of the women whose career journeys I had admired had taken twists and turns on their roads to “success.” This would be my twist. The past few years have left me questioning how narrowly we define success as a society. Why don’t we place value on what I’ve achieved? Learning a new language, making new friends, experiencing more of the world. Why are those accomplishments not considered on the same level as improving my excel skills or shipping out more product for a big corporation? The answer is that it is not up to “society” but to each of us as individuals to analyze our choices and define what we consider a life well-lived.

    Why don’t we place value on what I’ve achieved? Learning a new language, making new friends, experiencing more of the world. Why are those accomplishments not considered on the same level as improving my excel skills or shipping out more product for a big corporation?

    Source: @thenonster

    I’ve never felt more vibrant, more confident, or more sure of myself and my abilities than since I arrived here. Stepping away from my old life has allowed me to find my purpose: bringing people together, communicating, advising, mentoring, and forging connections between women with the aim to help them live their best lives, on their own terms, and by their own standards. I launched In Vibrant Company as a platform to do just this.
    I’m on my way to being one of those people who has lived multiple lives. My hope is that through the stories we tell on In Vibrant Company, we may encourage even one woman to take a risk she has been considering. I hope to give “success” many different faces, to build a community that celebrates taking a break, changing your mind, allowing yourself to say “no” to more if you so choose, and allowing yourself to need someone when you’re tired. I hope that we all reassess what we consider “success” and how we calculate our value; that we drown out the internal and external noise and be easier on ourselves and others.   More

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    These Free, 10-Minute Workouts Are Perfect for Days When You’re Short on Time

    “Petting as many dogs as humanely possible” is one of my most significant life goals.I’ve never met a dog that I didn’t like. I am the CEO of stopping on the Chicago Lakefront mid-run to pet all of the good doggos that proudly and happily trot past me. While I’m not in a place to own a dog of my own, this small fact does not stop me from getting my canine fix any time the opportunity presents itself.
    It has become very important for me to streamline my life to allow for as much time to provide belly rubs and compliments to dogs as possible. It is crucial to me that no matter what I accomplish in life, I never lose sight of prioritizing activities that I love most. Maybe for you, that joy comes from cooking, hanging out with family/friends, reading, watching Netflix, pouring a large glass of wine, or journaling. Regardless of what gets your heart pumping, I think we can all agree that making more time for the things we love is a good thing.
    So on days where I’m slammed with work, drowning in laundry, or itching to prioritize the petting of the dogs, I simply don’t have time to head to my gym and spend an hour on the treadmill (note: I have never actually spent one whole hour on a treadmill). I have always been a firm believer that quality is better than quantity (in this case, quantity being the amount of time spent working out) and have found that doing an effective, 10-minute workout is better than doing nothing at all. On the days where you don’t have time or are just looking for a quick way to move, these 13 free 10-minute workouts will have your back:

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    What are your favorite ways to workout at home? Let us know in the comments below! More

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    I’m Not a Morning Person—This Is the Evening Routine That Helps Me Keep It Together

    If you were to ask any of my friends about me, I’d like to think that they’d have a lot of nice things to say. They might describe me as friendly, laid-back, and down for a good time. They may mention that I am in a committed relationship with McDonald’s chicken nuggets. They might label me as a “good listener” or a “good friend.” They might give accolades to my ability to send highly relatable memes to their DMs at any point in the day. One thing they most definitely wouldn’t say about me? That I am a morning person.I have a reputation amongst my friends and family to prioritize sleeping in over most things in life. I have an affinity for hitting my snooze button anywhere from four to nine times a morning (I wish that was an exaggeration). If you speak to me before my morning coffee, there’s a 99 percent chance that what you said did not register. No matter how many tips and tricks that I’ve tried in my efforts to become a morning person, I just can’t hang before 10am. At this point, I’ve come to accept who I am: a night owl who would rather get shit done in the evening than during the morning. 
    PSA: You don’t have to be a morning person to live a healthy, productive life. I’ve felt guilty for “failing” at morning routines for far too long, but after curating an evening routine that fits my peak energy time and makes me feel like a superhero, I’d like to argue that night owls are just as badass as the humans who work out, clean, meal prep, meditate, and do a 57-step skincare routine before they log on for work. The early bird gets the worm, but the worm that sleeps in doesn’t get eaten, am I right?
    Here are the eight habits that have made my evenings productive and have helped me to embrace the fact that I am, in fact, a night owl:

    1. Work out right after work
    I truly cannot count the number of times that I’ve set my alarm two hours early to workout and decided, in the early hours of the morning, that REM sleep is cooler than squats. I’ve found that, as with most things, my workouts are most productive after a workday when I’ve used the day to hydrate and I’ve consumed at least two meals. While the idea of a late-night workout excites me, I try to exercise before dinner so that it’s easier for me to wind down afterward. Right now, I’ll do an at-home workout or go for a one to three-mile run, and I’ll opt to work out outside so that I can get some fresh air.

    2. Listen to a podcast while cooking dinner
    I used to hate cooking until stay-at-home orders hit. When I realized that I simply could not afford using Grubhub or Doordash every night, I bought Tieghan Gerard’s Half Baked Harvest Super Simple Cookbook to turn my life around. For dinner, I grab my fav glass of vino, pick a recipe to whip up, and listen to my favorite podcast. Typically I’ll opt for a recipe that I can cook for one and save for dinner for the next few days. Dinner: done. Meal prep: done. Getting the pop culture tea: done.

    3. Tidy up my living space
    The dinnertime productivity hack that absolutely changed my life is making an effort to clean up my kitchen messes as I’m cooking. It sounds so simple, but as we all have experienced at one point or another, there’s nothing worse than staring at dirty cookware and dishes after eating and slipping into a food coma. Tidying up as I go makes doing the remaining dishes after dinner so much more tolerable. After rinsing my remaining dishes and popping them into the dishwasher, I do a quick tidy-up of the rest of my living space (I save deep cleaning for the weekend when I have more time to do that sort of thing).

    4. Take a relaxing bath
    Why has it taken me so long to get on board with taking baths? My bath time is my me time, and those 30 minutes help me to wind down after power cleaning. Am I sweating from bending over to pick up all of my clutter from my last outfit crisis? Probably. Should I get that checked out by a doctor or, at the very least, up my cardio game? Also, probably. While I’m soaking, I like to call a friend, read an excerpt from my latest and greatest book obsession, or catch up on my IG feed. I light my favorite candle, dim the lights, and play some Mumford & Sons radio to set the mood.

    5. Plan out tomorrow’s outfit
    Somewhere along the way on my journey from third grade to adulthood, I lost sight of the easiest and most rewarding task of all—laying out tomorrow’s outfit. If and when I snooze my alarm and subsequently oversleep, I need all of the extra time that I can get.Enduring an 8am clothes crisis and settling on an outfit that I feel *blah* in is not the move. In my pursuit to work from home and not lose my mind, I’ve found it helpful to make sure that I’m changing out of my morning pajamas into something cute and casual to signal to my brain that it’s time to get to work.

    6. Prep my morning coffee
    Of all the responsibilities that are knocking on my door at the time of my alarm interrupting my dreams of being married to Zac Efron, my highest priority of all is coffee. I like to streamline my coffee routine ahead of time so that everything is neatly out and ready for me to get espresso in my body as soon as humanely possible. At night, I’ll pop my Nespresso capsule into my Nespresso machine, make sure that the water is filled to the brim, and line up my mixings (oat milk, vanilla, and cinnamon) for easy morning access. 

    6. Make a to-do list for tomorrow
    I am forever an offender of adding things to my to-do list that I’ve already completed so that I can give myself credit for completing tasks. After I’m squeaky clean and pick out my outfit for the morning, I make myself a herbal tea, I snuggle into bed, and reach for my journal that sits on my nightstand. My journal is my life and is a compilation of random article pitches that I think of at 4am, blurbs talking smack about someone who hurt my feelings, and to-do lists that somehow never fully get checked off. Regardless, making my to-do list helps me to focus in the simultaneous whirlwind and brain fog of the morning. I prioritize mindless tasks to be completed first to boost my confidence and schedule more tasking responsibilities for the afternoon when my productivity levels are highest.

    8. Do something that brings me joy
    I’ve been trying really hard to limit screen time before bed, so I’ve been opting for other blue-light-free activities that bring me joy to end the evening. On a normal day, I’ll turn off the lights with the exception of the faint glow of my bedside lamp, and I’ll either revisit my Kindle, journal about my day, or doodle until my eyelids become heavy. When I feel myself daydreaming then dazing, I know it’s time to call it a night. I set my typical morning alarms (yes, plural) and tuck myself in, knowing that I am leaving a productive day behind.

    Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl? When do you find that you’re your best, most productive self? More

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    How 12 Experts Are Staying Their Healthiest While Staying at Home

    I don’t know about you, but since the stay-at-home order started months ago, I’ve been moving my body less and eating more frozen pizza than I have in years. Even though 2020 has looked a lot different than we all thought it would when making health goals back in January, the well-being of our bodies shouldn’t just be a priority when we can go to juice cafes and workout studios. In fact, prioritizing health might even be more important during a scary and uncertain time. For some much-needed inspo, I asked my favorite nutritionists, trainers, and wellness entrepreneurs how they’re taking care of their bodies while staying at home. 
    1. Les Alfred, Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach, and Host of the Balanced Black Girl Podcast
    Source: @balancedles

    “While spending so much more time at home, mental health check-ins and daily exercise are non-negotiables. For my daily mental health check-in, I’ll spend some time journaling and reflecting on how I’m feeling. My emotions have ranged from optimistic and hopeful to lonely and unsure of what the future holds. Creating space to feel while honoring all of my feelings has been incredibly helpful. I also move my body every day. Some of my favorite ways to move at home include Sun Salutations each morning, short dumbbell or bodyweight workouts during my lunch break to keep my energy up for the afternoon, and early evening walks to relieve stress before winding down for the night.” 
    Listen to the Balanced Black Girl Podcast and follow her on Instagram here. 

    2. Melissa Wood-Tepperberg, Founder of The MWH Method
    Source: @melissawoodhealth

    “Prioritizing my practice of meditation and mindful movement is what keeps me sane through anything that comes my way. Even taking just two minutes to yourself makes such a massive impact toward shifting your mood. I do this through my method of movement to sculpt beautiful, long lean lines throughout the entire body through precise, low-impact movements.”
    Try a seven-day free trial of the MWH Method and follow her on Instagram here. 

    3. Berrion Berry, Period Educator and Founder of The Flo Academy
    Source: @berrionlberry

    “My hottest tip for staying healthy while safe at home is to focus on the breath. I do a three-minute breathwork exercise every morning, then again just after lunch, and again right as I end my day. I’ve found that it allows me to remain aligned and grounded. Breathwork is extremely helpful for managing both stress and anxiety. Oh, and the song I like to breathe to is called Deeper by Sion. The power of breath is so underrated, but I love it! And it helps with period pain too (can’t forget to mention that!).”
    Join The Flo Academy and follow her on Instagram here. 

    4. May Zhu, MBA, RD, LDN, and Founder of Nutrition Happens
    Source: @nutritionhappens

    “Maximize the benefits from the leafy greens you’re eating by rotating different varieties from week to week. This will add more nutrition diversity in terms of vitamins and minerals. For example, if you chose spinach this week, maybe go for arugula or chard the next. I love doing this because it also helps me get out of a kitchen rut when I feel uninspired. If there’s a leafy green you haven’t tried, now is a great time to try it in a new recipe. Also, I love walks on days when I’m feeling something more low impact. I’ll take a walk either before or after dinner to get fresh air. Several studies support that even 10 minutes of brisk walking can improve our moods.
    I’ve been working from home for a few years now, and I’m always working on work time boundaries. One thing that has helped me set up the post-work environment to transition out of the workday is to light a candle after I finish work to set the tone for the night. Lately, I love candles from The Koop New York and Dear Sunday Co, which are both Black-owned businesses that I adore!”
    Check out Nutrition Happens and follow her on Instagram here. 

    5. Valerie Agyeman, RD, Women’s Health Dietitian, and Founder of Flourish Heights
    Source: Flourish Heights

    “I’ve been stretching more! A few weeks ago, I realized I was sitting all day on a sofa or an office chair, which hasn’t been the best for my posture. So lately, I’ve been trying different stretches throughout the day, both indoors and outdoors. It helps keep my mind and body calm and at ease.”
    Check out Flourish Heights and follow her on Instagram here. 

    Source: @danielleduboise

    “I’m focused on enjoying the little things that make me happy, whether it’s spending time with my husband and daughter or taking some time to move my body every day (I’m currently obsessed with Fit Pregnancy Club online classes). I’ve also been trying to keep my routine as normal as possible by eating plenty of leafy greens and adding Sakara Beauty Water Drops to my water first thing every morning.”
    Shop Sakara, listen to The Sakara Life Podcast, and follow her on Instagram here. 

    Source: @whitneytingle

    “I’m using this extra time to focus on nourishing my body with Sakara meals 3-5 days a week and regularly eating my go-to snack, Sakara Detox Super Bars. I try to dedicate at least 20 minutes a day for some sort of movement, whether it’s taking a walk or doing an online class. I’ve been really into Melissa Wood Health and Caravan Wellness, and I just added The Bloom Method, which is for pregnant mamas. I also try to spend some time each day filling my brain with information that helps inspire me to be more creative. I’ve been loving podcasts like The Doctor’s Farmacy, On Being, Esther Perel, and the Goop Podcast.”
    Shop Sakara, listen to The Sakara Life Podcast, and follow her on Instagram here. 

    8. Ingrid S. Clay, Celebrity Fitness Trainer and Plant-Based Chef
    Source: @ingridsclay

    “I’ve been working out every day! I do 30 minutes of cardio on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. I also always tell clients to not buy junk food (so it’s not in the house) and to only eat when hungry.”
    Book a meal plan or class pack and follow her on Instagram here. 

    9. Serena Poon, CN, CHC, CHN, Nutritionist, Reiki Master, and Founder of Culinary Alchemy
    Source: Serena Loves

    “Stay super hydrated! Drink at least 75 percent of your weight in ounces of water. Hydration is key for your entire organ system to function optimally. Also, eat the rainbow; make sure your meals and snacks throughout the day include a variety of fresh, whole produce that spans the colors of the rainbow. By doing this, you are taking in a multitude of vitamins and minerals in the most bioavailable form. Always opt for nutrient-dense meals, smoothies, juices, or broth, packed with tons of vitamins, minerals, fiber and nutrients over anything that is processed.
    Finally, connect with nature. Talk a walk, sit in the sun, open up the windows, or play in the water if you are near the ocean or a lake. Take off your shoes and stand in the grass. Do a little gardening or water your plants. Do something every day that reminds you that there is something much greater than us, the earth is healing, and whatever is happening right now will heal and pass.”
    Book a nutrition program or reiki session, download a free E-book, and follow her on Instagram here. 

    10. Mona Dan, LAc., MTOM, Herbalist, Acupuncturist and Founder of Vie Healing

    “I sit outside under direct sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes. It gives me a chance to reset and relax but also sweat a little while soaking in some vitamin D. After that, I take a hot shower and gently scrub with bath salts. I also make sure to include fresh fruits and veggies in my meals to take in lots of vitamins and minerals to keep my immunity up.”
    Shop Vie Healing and follow her on Instagram here. 

    Source: @laurengores

    “I’ve been moving my body every day, which has proven to be the most incredible medicine for me, internally and externally. Some days I have time for an hour-long workout, and other days, it’s a 15-minute yoga flow with my toddler crawling on top of me. But it’s the movement that matters, and I think it’s been key to my health and well-being during this time. Also, I’ve been doing a lot of face masking with our Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask to make me look a lot less sleepy than I feel.”
    Shop Summer Fridays and follow her on Instagram here. 

    12. Sahara Rose, Ayurveda Consultant, Best-Selling Author, and Host of The Higher Self Podcast
    Source: @iamsahararose

    “Every day, I ask myself what I can do for my body, mind, and spirit. For my body, I love to do a barre workout followed by some yoga (especially hip openers since we are sitting so much more). For my mind, I love to read spiritual books and do some writing for my next book, Discover Your Dharma. For my spirit, I am obsessed with doing what I call “Goddess Breathwork,” which consists of deep inhales and exhales while doing cat-cows with your spine. It completely relaxes the body, so it’s easy to drop into a meditation! I feel so energized, refreshed, and in alignment with these practices. Often, I’ll break out into a spontaneous dance party because I feel so good!”
    Read Eat Feel Fresh, take the quiz to find your dosha, and follow her on Instagram here.

    What at-home health tips make you feel your best? More

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    5 Habits That Can Boost Your Sex Life

    Sometimes, it can seem like we’re all being told everything we should be doing. Eat more cauliflower! Try this new workout that will make your butt look amazing! Meditate every morning! It’s exhausting to be told what to do but never communicated how exactly it will affect our health and our bodies.Instead, we should be focusing on easy, actionable, healthy habits that actually cause a change in our lives over time. Boosting our sex lives isn’t much different from our overall health — sex isn’t independent of the rest of your mental and physical health. Adopting healthy habits can improve all the areas of your life, sex included. So, when we add these habits into our day-to-day routines, there’s more happening than increased energy and a higher sense of confidence.
    So, you want to get healthier and pump up your sex life? We’ve got you covered. Here are our top five habits that will positively impact your overall health and your libido:

    1. Keep work out of the bedroom
    We’ve all been there. We sit in bed with the laptop catching up on e-mails or scroll through Instagram on our phones. It seems harmless when it’s happening, but over time, you’ll start to notice it’s difficult to turn off the work brain when you’re in the bedroom. Next thing you know, you’re thinking about your to-do list while you’re doing the damn thing!
    The easiest way to get out of this mindset is to slowly take technology out of your room — no more writing or replying to Instagram DMs just before bed. Set a designated area of your home to do work and leave the bed for sleeping and other bed-related activities. You don’t need a separate office space to do this either! Simply creating a nook in the corner of your small studio for working or only working on your couch can help keep the work brain out of the bed.
    This is a lesson in becoming more present and focused with your partner. When you’re able to let go of work or anything else going on in your life for a little bit of time to enjoy moments with your partner, you can connect on a deeper level, which in turn means getting it on is much more enjoyable. Less stress, better sex — everyone wins here!

    2. Exercise
    Obviously, getting consistent exercise is good for you. We all know that by now. However, exercise (in various capacities) is amazing for your sex life. (Oh, great, another reason we need to be working out!)
    Exercise (whether it’s yoga, pilates, kickboxing, weightlifting, running, or whatever you enjoy!) is an amazing way to decrease stress. Not only does it help you cope with current stress, but when all those endorphins release, your body is less likely to build up the same stress and worry from before. Stress can be one of the biggest reasons women lose their libido, so if you’re trying to have better sex, this is a good one to kick to the curb first.
    Getting regular exercise is also an amazing way to improve stamina and flexibility, which in turn increase sexual pleasure. Exercise is another great way to boost your confidence, and we all know how it feels to have sex when you’re not really feeling like yourself. When you’re feelin’ yourself, sex is bound to be a great time.

    3. Communicate
    Communication with your partner is more than a simple “how was work?!” every day. It’s important in any relationship to keep learning and growing with your partner. Whether you’re in a LDR or have been together for a long time, keeping the spark alive emotionally can keep up the passion in the bedroom. Go on real dates (which can be especially helpful for those of us who live with our partners!), discover a new hobby you both like, and practice active listening. Making your partner know he or she is heard in the relationship and that their feelings or ideas are validated can go a long way in making you both feel more comfortable and at ease with each other.
    Aside from still taking the time to get to know the person, there’s a lot of sexual communication to engage in. You can tell your partner that you want to try something new (a new position, role-playing, or different days or times than your norm are all great ideas) or talk about what you like and don’t like. This could happen before sex (this could make some great foreplay!), during, or after.
    Make it a habit to talk to your partner about sex. It can often feel uncomfortable (weird, but true!) to discuss these things, but this can only improve the experience you two have together. Once you start to become more comfortable discussing these things with him or her, it will be easier to actually implement and try out all those new things you’ve discussed with one another.

    4. Ask the experts
    Don’t be afraid to talk to experts when you have questions about your sex life. OG/GYNs and sex therapists are there to help with whatever questions you may have! No matter how TMI or insignificant they may seem, your questions are valid. Make it a habit to write down (or put them as a note in your phone) any questions or thoughts you have and bring this list to any doctors appointments you have.
    While they’re obviously not experts, this also goes for talking to friends or other loved ones. It’s comforting to get second opinions or thoughts and ideas from your girlfriends. Talking to them is generally more comforting than a doctor, and they might have personal experience with the same situation.

    5. Get more sleep
    Sleep is basically the cure-all to everything — acne, stress, body aches and pains, and yes, good sex. There are many studies saying having more sex can cause better sleep, but there is also evidence that sleep can cause great sex, too! Lack of sleep can increase the levels of cortisol in your body while decreasing sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone. This can cause stress, which we’ve already established is not great if you’re trying to boost your sex drive.
    There’s also the simple fact of being too tired. You had a long day a work, came home, cooked dinner, watched an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale, and we’re supposed to still have the energy for sex after that? Not getting the rest you deserve (yes ladies, sleep is a right, not a luxury!) is enough to make any of us go crazy, let alone not want to have sex.
    Try changing your bedding, investing in a new mattress (this is for your health, people!), or rearranging your room to be the ultimate calm oasis you’ve always dreamed of. You could also try a weighted blanket, taking melatonin before bed, or keeping your tech out of the bedroom. (See tip #1!)

    What habits have improved your sex life? How have you implemented these into your routine? Tell us in the comments! More