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    What Elaine Welteroth Taught Me About Identifying and Pursuing Your Purpose

    I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be a writer. I can recall the day that I came home from elementary school, beaming with excitement over a story I wrote in my 2nd grade class. I remember racing to my parents’ room, eager to share my story with them, watching their eyes as they read over the tale of a young Black princess and her evil parents. I realize now that the story I wrote was nowhere near a New York Times bestseller, but in that moment, you couldn’t tell me otherwise.As an adolescent fantasy writer, I had very clearly used my personal experiences to shape my characters. Although, this story was a little too close to home, and even with my dad’s displeasure over the inspiration of the narrative, I was so pleased with my work. I had this intrigue with storytelling and continued to feed that hunger as I grew older. That passion for writing and storytelling never left and felt more and more like a calling than just a hobby. I knew I had to spend the rest of my life writing, telling stories and sharing my experiences with the world. 

    Thankfully, I discovered that there are others who share in this experience as well. Not too long ago, I found myself feasting on Elaine Welteroth’s new memoir, More Than Enough. There I witnessed the retelling of Elaine’s journey to success. This is important because most of us view the most notable of celebrities as people who just make a lot of money and are famous. But, as Elaine so eloquently puts it, “The truth is, job titles are temporary. But purpose is infinite.”

    As she reminisces on her journey from childhood aspirational magazine editing to real-life Editor-in-Chief of Teen Vogue, Elaine draws a distinction between her career and her purpose, placing all of her value on accomplishing goals and making career decisions that are linked to her passions and what she would define as her purpose rather than chasing after the stereotypical “American Dream.” She believed her presence in the publishing industry served a greater purpose and was more valuable than simply collecting a check or gaining celebrity; it was an opportunity to educate and to amplify the voices of people from historically marginalized communities on the greatest platforms in media. Here are three lessons I learned from Elaine about pursuing, as inspired by her wonderful book, More Than Enough.

    1. Your purpose will call you (not literally, but in a figure sense).
    Because we live in a society that is all about “securing the bag,” the idea of pursuing purpose seems outdated. I mean, after all, how do you even know what it is? Much like Elaine, I believe that I discovered my purpose at a young age. Or, rather, it found me. Not only was I saturating pages of my notebook with fairytale-like adaptations of my life, but I was also always found with a Junie B Jones or Romona Quimby novel on hand. My natural interests in literature and writing were evident. Sometimes, when we think about our purpose and what we were put on this Earth to do, we feel as though we have to go searching for it. We must experiment with different trades and different majors in order to land on the career that is exclusively ours. But, no one ever tells us to examine our history and to maybe even look within for the purpose that has always been there, written on our hearts, burning deep inside us from birth. Identifying your purpose takes introspection—to look back and remember the things that used to drive us as children, the dreams, aspirations and passions that we had when we were young. It requires us to use those moments as our launching pad for insight into our purpose. This is one way we can start to identify it: remember the passions that called you when you were young.

    2. Pursuing your purpose will challenge you. 
    The other side to pursuing your purpose is that it will challenge you. In my experience, finding a job was never difficult, but landing a job within the realm of what I believe I am meant to do was no easy feat. I think Elaine would concur. With the end of her college career drawing near, she found her future hanging in the balance as she contemplated her next steps post-graduation. She says, “Trying to figure out how to pursue your passion in ninety days sounds like one of those bestselling self-help books or a viral TED Talk, but ultimately, in practice it was more like being lost in a dark room and not knowing if I’d ever find my way out.” Let’s be real, opting for a quintessential lifestyle that ends with the white picket fence is easy. However, pursuing a path that is greater than yourself is risky and actually takes quite a bit of faith. Contrary to Elaine, I had to face the music long after college. I had already opted into the traditional 9-5 safe zone, but my purpose kept calling. It wasn’t until a few years after college graduation that I fell in headfirst in pursuing my writing and haven’t stopped yet. I’m just bold enough to believe that because this purpose is linked to my natural-born passions and my very existence, I will always find a way to operate in it. While you may encounter obstacles and challenges as you pursue it, persevere. After all, the greatest things in life never come easy. 

    3. Your purpose will change you (for the better, of course). 
    Though the journey of identifying and pursuing your purpose may be turbulent, it doesn’t compare to when you’re finally able to operate in it. Every moment that you spend fulfilling your purpose feels like confirmation that you’re doing what you were created to do. Not only do you begin to impact the lives of other people (because purpose is also about changing the lives of the people after you), but you are changing as well. Your perspective begins to shift, your priorities change, your values evolve and that’s what’s meant to happen. In Elaine’s story, shifting the paradigm in the publishing industry, especially in regards to beauty, was always her goal. But, as she continued to climb the corporate ladder, arriving at the front doors of Teen Vogue offices, her vision extended beyond Black representation in media to also stirring up and equipping the next generation. Her role at Teen Vogue radicalized the content of the magazine, taking it to new heights that no other teen magazine had reached, while simultaneously changing her. 

    For most of us, career success has been our life’s ultimate goal. We go to college to earn a degree or two—arriving at our final destination of a great job that makes us a lot of money and comes with a little bit of fame. For others, we may find ourselves in an endless pursuit of this form of success. But, at some point, we have to ask ourselves if that is really all there is to life—money, success, and fame. Or, is there more? Can we pursue careers that allow us to leave a real impact on the world? Can we pursue passions that are linked to a greater calling on our lives? Does that even exist for all of us? I think Elaine’s answer would be, yes. Those convictions, passions and intrinsic motivators are all linked to the very reason you have graced this earth. Don’t suppress them. Take that leap of faith and chase after them. They are calling you. They will challenge you. And, best of all, they will change the world while also changing you.  More

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    The TV Character I’m Basing My Entire Wardrobe Off Of

    As a 24-year-old, it’s been a while since ladies my age have had a true, pop-culture fashion icon. Most of the fictionally fabulous characters we’ve aspired to be have come from decades past—Carrie Bradshaw, Elle Woods, Rachel Green, Raven Baxter (may we never, ever forget that intro look). And when you take a step back and look at their similarities, they all had one thing in common: they wore whatever the hell they wanted.In my book, characters who rise to have a place in the proverbial Fashion Hall of Fame have a certain je ne sais quoi to their looks that make it feel like they took a quick look at their closet, threw things on without thinking much of it, and headed out the door. Of course this isn’t reality, but capturing the essence of effortless effort in eclectic outfits is something that’s inspiring, to say the least. And to my absolute relief, I think that the new icon of our generation is here: Astrid Sloan, played by Lucy Boynton in Netflix’s The Politican.

    Source: Netflix

    Last year, the show’s debut season was a hit straight out of the gate—no surprise considering its star-studded cast and uber-entertaining storyline of golden boy Payton Hobart (played by Ben Platt), who’ll stop at nothing to achieve his dream of becoming the President of the United States, but only after he becomes the president of his Santa Barbara high school.
    The fashion throughout the entire series is stellar without fail—from Georgina Hobart’s all-too-appropriate mumu collection to McAfee Westbrook’s never-ending series of impeccable pantsuits to Skye Leighton’s edgy looks paired with corresponding, colorful makeup. It’s all damn near perfect, and no character is an exception. But from the start, Astrid’s wardrobe made my heart skip a beat and gave me a newfound will to live—and really, how often can that be said?

    Source: Netflix

    Source: Netflix

    In Season 1, when she’s running against Payton for High School President, Astrid’s wardrobe is impeccably reminiscent of a modern Jackie O—full of high-cut blouses adorned with bows and paired with lots of pattern. They master a balance of peppiness and edginess by pairing classic silhouettes and tailoring with trendy accessories, at least one unexpected piece per outfit, and even an occasional faux-hawk. It’s a dream come true for a Californian cool-girl presidential candidate—but Season 2, when the series takes to New York, is when her style really shines. From the second she appears on-screen there (pictured below) her character’s transition is apparent through her edgy looks that have ditched all signs of prep.

    Source: Netflix

    eason 2 is filmed during a cooler season, so Astrid’s wardrobe veers away from the warm, California days she was dressed for in Season 1, and instead gives us the fall wardrobe of dreams: fur coats, texture, deep colors, and lots of leopard. All of her looks are the perfect example of mixing patterns and colors that, if went by the book, wouldn’t necessarily go together. By pairing things like hot pink with a pastel blue and leopard with a bright purple, every single look is interesting and unique—and the eclectic-ness of each is exactly what makes it feel so effortless. By being less cohesive and matchy-matchy, everything simultaneously looks both more fashionable and less planned.

    Source: Netflix

    Most streetwear and high-fashion looks have this same principle in common: they look randomly put together, but somehow cohesive. While Astrid’s wardrobe achieves this, it still feels done in a way that’s completely attainable, if only with a little more fearlessness when dressing. Her accessories are also a statement on their own, and when paired with outfits that are otherwise full of drama, they take them to another level.

    Source: Netflix

    Source: Netflix

    The Politician is set to have a third season, and while I can’t wait to see if, ahem, Payton takes Didi Standish’s offer (no spoilers here), I think I’m even more excited for what Astrid wears when the gang (hopefully) takes Washington. But for now, this fall, I’ll be snatching up a fur, knee-length, leopard coat and some acrylic heart earrings quicker than you can say, “Congratulations, Senator Hobart.”

    Source: Netflix More

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    This Book Delivery Service Will Make Your Summer

    For the longest time, I figured people either identified as readers or not, and I definitely fell into the “not” category the last year or so. I would rather watch YouTube videos and listen to music in my spare time, not force my brain to work when I’ve finally shut it off. I enjoy books, of course, but I declared myself as a non-reader who just couldn’t find the time unless I was sitting on a beach vacation or curled up with a cup of tea. Well, obviously, our entire lives have shifted the last six months, and my whole “not reading” thing flew straight out the window, down the street, onto the highway, and into some ditch. I started reading more and more with all the extra time on my hands, but I needed to diversify my authors, both in terms of reading books by and about BIPOC and LGBTQ+ people but also in genres and ideas (trust me: I love a good thriller as much as the next gal, but I also love ghost stories and retellings and literary fiction and romance and nonfiction!). Then, I stumbled upon Book of the Month. And let me tell ya, BOTM has become my new favorite way to find books.

    Book of the Month is the fastest-growing book subscription service in America—and you’re about to hear why. They promote new and emerging authors every month, selecting five amazing new releases to choose from (read on for a look at some of July’s!). As a subscriber, you choose one of the five and it’s sent directly to your door. The titles range all genres (sci-fi, romance, thriller, historical fiction—you name it, they’ve got it), and they’re even beginning to incorporate nonfiction titles as well. 

    As I was getting back into the world of reading once again, I was inundated with recommendations for authors and titles, almost to the point of not knowing where I should start. Book of the Month made it so easy. Pick your titles, and as soon as they arrive, you’ll likely get started on them right away. I was so motivated to read my BOTM because they’re all up-and-coming titles and authors you’re bound to start seeing everywhere. Last month, I read The Vanishing Half, and the day after I finished, it made the New York Times’ Best Seller list. I’ve never had that happen before—a book I’d already read and loved become a best-seller just before my eyes. You get early access to books that are about to become major hits, so you can read and get ahead of your book clubs! Oh, and I wanted to finish it right away so my plate would be clear by the time my next BOTM arrival came in a month.  

    On my journey to become a bigger reader (will I start a BookTube channel? The jury’s still out), I struggled a bit with cost. $15 here, $25 there. Before you know it, you’ve spent the equivalent of a week’s worth of groceries on a couple of books. And if you read quickly, you’re basically done for. Book of the Month not only cut down how often I had to research books, but it cut my costs too. Using code EVERYGIRL, your first book is $9.99 (yeah, seriously—less than a coffee and a breakfast sandwich!)—then it’s still only $14.99 a month afterward (which is still an incredible deal for hardbacks). Not loving the selections one month or just not in the budget? No worries, you can skip whenever and won’t be charged. Love to read? You can select an add-on book every month from BOTM’s large selection of titles—including tons of books you’ll likely see made into movies and TV shows in the future. This month, I added Riley Sager’s Home Before Dark—a spooky thriller about a haunted house. (BRB, lighting my fall candle and wishing it was Halloween!)

    Wondering what new titles are up this month? Here’s a look at the two of the five books I’m most excited to read for July:

    Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman
    Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close

    This book sounds like a necessary read for women everywhere. Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman, co-hosts of the popular podcast “Call Your Girlfriend,” explain what it takes to really have a friendship for the long haul. We all know that friendships take work, but to really keep someone close for a long time isn’t an easy feat. These two BFFs share the ups and downs of their friendship and how they’ve gotten to where they are today. I can’t wait to read this and cry, laugh, and call my best friends. This is the book I’ll be choosing for my personal subscription—if you couldn’t already tell.

    Michele Harper
    The Beauty in Breaking

    This is Michele Harper’s memoir, following her career as a Black emergency room physician, a profession that is widely male and white. She attended Harvard after leaving an abusive childhood in Washington, D.C., and just before moving to Philidelphia to work in a new hospital, she and her husband split up. So, she’s in a new city, a new job, and newly single (something many of us might be able to relate to). This book follows her journey to self-healing, realizing that she must heal herself while she’s working as a doctor healing others. The book has tons of praise for being moving, inspirational, and educational—something we all could use right now.

    Whether you’re reading a couple of books or week or get excited when you finish one a month, Book of the Month is truly the easiest way to get a new book in your hand every month without doing much work.

    This post was in partnership with Book of The Month, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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    5 Minutes of Self-Care with Karamo Brown

    It’s rare that something comes onto the scene of society and unanimously gets praise from its audience. But when something brings true, unmitigated joy, you take it, cherish it, and never let it go—and since the revamp of Queer Eye came onto the scene and did just that, we (like most people we know) have been […] More