The Everygirl Podcast

Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

Have you ever been told “Be assertive, but don’t be a bitch,” “Be a leader, but don’t be bossy,” “Be nice, but not too nice,” “You have a resting bitch face,” or “You seem like a pushover.” It’s a phenomenon that happens all too often: women put forward smart ideas and strong leadership skills, and are met with judgement about superficial traits related to their likability. Alicia Menendez, MSNBC host and this week’s guest on The Everygirl Podcast, names this phenomenon in her book, The Likeability Trap.
Being a woman in the workplace–especially in a leadership position–can feel like being constantly criticized for your metaphorical pantsuits when you’re actually saying pretty brilliant stuff. And whether it’s in the workplace or not, many of us are wired to want to be liked, just to find its an impossible feat. So what exactly is the likability trap, and what can we do to get out of it? Read on for Menendez’s advice for staying true to yourself in the workplace, and listen to this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast for more.

What is the likeability trap?
According to Menendez, the likeability trap doesn’t just refer to one single experience: in fact, she says women are likely to encounter three different kinds of likeability traps in their daily lives. The first is what she refers to as “the Goldilocks conundrum.” This means that women in leadership positions are often perceived as “never quite right”—that is, many female leaders are accused of being too warm, too welcoming, or too feminine, or, on the other side of the spectrum, too strong or too aggressive. In The Likeability Trap and on The Everygirl Podcast, Menendez highlights the fact that societal expectations for women are often quite different than the traits that are expected of a leader.
The second kind of likeability trap that Menendez identifies is something that has come up more recently, which is a constant call for authenticity. The problem with demanding authenticity is that, in the workplace especially, women are often asked to conform to so many variable traits already. “Sometimes it feels like being truly authentically ourselves runs the risk that people won’t see us as the leaders that we are,” Menendez said.
The third and final likeability trap is the ambition/likeability penalty, where women are actively labeled as less likable because they outwardly seek success. Menendez credits Sheryl Sandberg, author of Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead for bringing this idea into the mainstream; it means that the more successful a woman becomes, the less people like her. In moments when a man might be labeled as a go-getter, women are often thought of as overly competitive. On The Everygirl Podcast, Menendez emphasizes that these three traps are all never-ending choices that women in the workplace have to make: between being warm or strong, a leader or authentic, ambitious or likable.

3 tips to overcoming the likeability trap for a more fulfilling career
1. Remember that the most important thing is whether you like them, not whether they like you
Just like with dating, it’s important to focus on how you feel, not how they might feel about you. How do you feel after you receive feedback from someone in your workplace? Do you feel empowered and excited to take a second shot at a project, or do you feel discouraged? These emotions matter and are valid, no matter what the feedback may be. Just like you wouldn’t keep giving chances to a romantic partner who was making you feel bad about yourself, there’s no reason to stick with a boss who doesn’t see your potential and inherent value. Surrounding yourself with people who make you feel comfortable expressing your core interests and existing as your truest self, both inside and outside the workplace, can liberate you from feeling like you have to conform to someone else’s expectations.

2. Be selective about the feedback you internalize, and don’t be afraid to push back
Unfortunately, there is a web of expectations created by men in the workplace that overlays all of the interactions that women have at work. For women of color in particular, the possibility of being accused of being “bossy” or “aggressive” when simply acting with the normal assertiveness of a good leader is high. On The Everygirl Podcast, Menendez urges women to question subjective feedback, especially if it is coded in language that is historically sexist or racist. “If you sit down with someone in a feedback session and they say, ‘You’re just too assertive,’ you should say, ‘Thank you so much for that feedback. Assertive compared to whom?’” Menendez recommended. Opening a line of active questioning about subjective feedback can crumble the argument of someone who is criticizing your likeability.

3. Remember that different leadership styles are always of value in a single workplace
Sometimes feedback is just feedback, and it might have to do with someone’s perception of your leadership style rather than their internal biases. Regardless, ensuring that you are not constantly catering to likeability means reminding yourself that if everyone was the same kind of leader, nothing would get done. If you do things a certain way and someone at your workplace is having a hard time grasping your leadership style, that does not necessarily mean that you have to change. Thinking about how the feedback is structured, whether or not you have actually worked with the person who is giving you feedback, and consulting colleagues on any criticism you may receive is always great practice when considering whether or not to take certain comments to heart. More

Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

We’ve all had that moment when the voice in the back of your head starts screaming, “This is not the right path for me!” Whether it’s about a relationship, a habit, a place, or a job, realizing that you want to be doing something completely different is always a tough revelation. Luckily, there are concrete steps you can take to make a big change easier, especially when it comes to your career.
On this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast, Josie sits down with the Branded Content Editor at The Everygirl, Ashley Selleke, to chat about her journey from full-time nursing to working entirely in media and content creation. Ashley has so many valuable tips to share, from valuable resume builders to confidence-building exercises. Read on for a few of Ashley’s biggest tips for successfully changing career paths, and check out this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast for more.

1. Check in with yourself about your career
Deciding to switch careers may not always be such a clear choice. If you’re getting a gut feeling that a career might not be the right path for you, listen to your intuition. We only get one life, and doing something that you love is worthwhile. However, if you’re not quite sure what you specifically dislike about your current career, sit with yourself and consider the pros and cons of what you’re doing. That time of self-reflection and getting honest with yourself might make all of the difference when it comes to getting into the career that is right for you.

2. Build your confidence by remembering your skills are transferrable
If you have a dream job in mind that’s completely different or seems unrelated to your current or past jobs, don’t write off skills you’ve picked up throughout your professional journey. You can still get that dream job, even if you think your resume doesn’t quite match up. Life experience is experience. Period. Even if it isn’t in the industry that you’re trying to transition into, there are so many skills that live in multiple different industries.
Write out everything that you already know. It will show you that you can be good at your dream job, give you a confidence boost, and show you what skills you could work on before landing your dream job or making the career pivot. If there are a few skills you want for your dream career—but don’t currently have—practice during your free time. This could mean building up writing experience through a personal blog like Ashley, or it could mean taking an online class. 

3. Be ready for new opportunities that might come your way
Work on that resume, portfolio, or degree now so that you’re ready if you network with the right person who has a job opening. (Opportunities can sometimes come from unexpected places.) It may be helpful to give yourself a deadline when you want to update your LinkedIn, build a portfolio, or make a website. Otherwise, you might find yourself waiting for the right time to be ready, and opportunities could pass you by. 
If you are considering transitioning to a new industry, you do not have to wait until you reach burnout or feel like you need to leave your current job. You can build your resume and apply to jobs whenever. This will ensure that you can leap when that dream job application opens up. Even if you think nothing will come of it, you might as well give yourself the deadline—and, if you’re like Ashley, maybe you’ll end up surprising yourself with what you can achieve. More

Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

Picture this: You’ve finally taken the big step to start that company you’ve always dreamed of. Maybe it’s a local bakery where you’ll sell the treats your friends have always raved about. Perhaps, it’s a blog where you’ll share your best interior decorating advice. Or maybe–like Anne Read Lattimore and Cassandra Cannon–you’re starting your own clothing line. This week on The Everygirl Podcast, we’re talking to these two badass cofounders to get all the details on how they manage their busy lives.
Lattimore and Cannon founded LAKE Pajamas in 2014 and found immediate success with their casual pajama designs and baby-soft pima cotton. However, entrepreneurship hasn’t always been a breeze. When they first launched LAKE, they were both balancing different career paths and new babies. They had to work to scale their business, set boundaries between their work and home lives, and consistently grow their brand after such a successful launch. Read on for three tips that Anne Read Lattimore and Cassandra Cannon have for preventing burnout as an entrepreneur. Plus, listen to this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast to find out how they grew their business and get more career tips from the power duo.

1. Hire kind people
When Lattimore and Cannon first launched LAKE, they were slow to hire. They spent the early days of their business working together at home, babies and all. Once it came time to grow the LAKE Pajamas team, the pair decided to hire jack-of-all-trades workers to help out with their business. “The quality of our internal team here is really what has helped us grow,” Lattimore said. “We have made a conscious decision, both of us, to hire kind people all along the way.” Looking for a team-player mentality in potential employees when hiring has always been a part of the LAKE founders’ business model. As Cannon advised, a great attitude is far more important than a lengthy resume. 
When it comes to starting your own business, consider the fact that you probably won’t be the only one doing all of the work for long. Think about what values and skills you want your employees to have when you bring them onto the team: What kind of attitude is going to best shape your workplace environment? As Lattimore and Cannon mentioned, building a great team of coworkers can make all of the difference in having a healthy work-life balance as an entrepreneur.

2. Set boundaries between work and home
As Lattimore and Cannon experienced when they first launched LAKE, working from home can throw a wrench in your work-life balance. “In the beginning, we were a little too ambitious in thinking that we could work with babies around us,” Lattimore said. Now, both cofounders are much more conscious of having totally separate work and home lives in order to prevent burnout. They maintain flexible schedules, but they prioritize setting aside time blocks for both work and family. “After working with kids at home, I now appreciate so much having separated time,” Cannon said. “That means being able to get everything done at work so that when I come home to my kids, I can fully focus on them.”
Setting strong boundaries between your work life and home life is essential for preventing unproductive days and long nights as an entrepreneur. As Lattimore and Cannon emphasized in the interview, this doesn’t mean that you have to miss out on big moments in either area. However, it does mean that you’ll feel the benefits of drawing those boundaries and blocking out your time. Additionally, your business will likely benefit from your ability to turn off work mode from time to time.

3. Stay confident in your product
As an entrepreneur, impostor syndrome can be intense. Lattimore and Cannon credit a huge portion of their success as a brand to their ability to stay confident in their designs, even when they had little prior experience in the clothing industry. They knew that they were filling a demand in the market, which helped them stay on track with their vision for their company. “Our initial sets had some recognizability. They were different than other pajamas that were on the market, and they were a good giftable item,” Lattimore said. The pair knew that the quality of their pajamas would be a huge draw for consumers. Cannon credits their confidence in the product as a critical factor in their low-stress mindset about LAKE.
Entrepreneurship may feel intimidating at times, but as Anne Read Lattimore and Cassandra Cannon emphasize, being confident in your business can go a long way. When you know how great your brand is capable of becoming, you can avoid the impostor syndrome that often leads to burnout when you’re first starting out. Treat each new business venture as if it’s going to sell like 2014 LAKE pajamas, and maybe it will. More

Welcome to The Everygirl Podcast. Whether you’re looking for insider secrets from successful women that have your dream job, are interested in expert advice to transform your health and feel your best, or just want to be entertained and laugh along with us on your commute, we’ve got you covered.

When Real Housewives of Dubai premiered at the beginning of June, Bravo fans discovered a new it-girl and fan-favorite in Lesa Milan Hall. On this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast, Josie sits down with Lesa to talk all things Real Housewives, but also to get insight on her inspiring career totally separate from reality TV. Spoiler alert: She has a lot of great tips, advice, and insight one everything from motherhood to fashion to starting a major brand. She is the founder of luxury maternity brand, Mina Roe, which counts stars like Beyoncé and Ciara as fans.
Living in Dubai with her husband and three sons, running a fashion line, and being on reality TV all mean that Lesa has an extremely busy schedule, so you know we had to grill her on the rituals that set her day up for success. Read on for major morning routine inspo, and check out this week’s episode of The Everygirl Podcast for insight and advice from Lesa Milan Hall.

1. Start the day with gratitude
We’ve all heard about the importance of practicing gratitude, so it’s no surprise Lesa’s #1 morning ritual is to feel gratitude immediately after waking. “The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is I thank God for waking me up,” Lesa told us. Gratitude is not only important for putting yourself into a positive headspace and promotes an abundance mindset, but it can reframe your thinking to reflect on all that you do have instead of focusing energy on what you don’t. “When having a bad day, I remember where I’m coming from and where I am today,” Lesa said. “Whenever I’m like, ‘Oh, I don’t have something,’ I always ask myself, ‘Girl, do you remember when you had nothing?’”

2. Take a shot of apple cider vinegar
This Real Housewife swears by taking a shot of apple cider vinegar diluted in water every single morning to start her day. The benefits of apple cider vinegar are widely discussed in the wellness space (everything from improving gut health to managing blood sugar), but for Lesa, it’s all about the skin. Apple cider vinegar may have many beauty benefits, including helping to reduce inflammation in the skin (like breakouts or eczema), thanks to its antibacterial properties. Since she grew up with acne-prone skin, Lesa tells us she is committed to keeping her face clear, and prioritizes a daily shot of apple cider vinegar every morning. As she says, “What goes in shows up on the skin.” Whether a shot of ACV at 8 a.m. is your thing or not, prioritize food and drinks that are hydrating and balancing for the skin first thing in the morning. 

3. Have a go-to skincare routine, but limit makeup
Aside from her apple cider vinegar ritual, Lesa’s biggest skincare secret is that she never wears makeup during the week. “I used to struggle with really, really bad acne,” Lesa said. “It took me years to find products that work for me.” Now, she limits makeup as much as possible as a way to preserve her skin health, but also as a sense of pride for overcoming skin-related insecurities from her childhood.
Currently, Lesa’s skincare routine is built around her cleanser, which she considers to be the most important part of taking care of her face. Her favorite is from Shiseido, and she makes a point of washing her face with exclusively cold water in order to keep her pores closed. Since she used to struggle with acne, Lesa rotates between using oil-free moisturizer or the Sunday Riley C.E.O. Vitamin C Serum after cleansing each morning. She finishes her routine with SPF, and heads out into Dubai makeup-free and full of gratitude. More