More stories

  • in

    We All Have a Little Witch In Us—These Wellness Rituals Will Help Bring Out Yours

    No doubt about it–fall is magical. The leaves change into all sorts of vibrant hues, the scent of cinnamon is everywhere you go, and the chill in the air bites in a way that almost feels personal. It’s a season that feels so alive, so it’s no wonder that fall is directly tied to mysticism. So much so that one of the key images of the season is a witch (Hocus Pocus, anyone?). Of course, with that title also comes dated stereotypes of what it means to be a witch: flying broomsticks, evil cauldrons, and a desire to eat children. But the true definition of a witch isn’t so easy to nail down.
    Historically, witches, or people accused of being witches, have come in many different forms, but most of them were women, and they were far from monstrous. Rather, they were masters of wellness, specializing in herbalism, midwifery, and other healing practices. Modern women are turning these rituals more mainstream, finding deep connection to the earth and nature, and leaning into practices that enhance their quality of life. So if you really think about it, embodying your inner witch is in itself a wellness practice. Read on for some wellness rituals that witches throughout the ages have used and loved that will help amplify your health for fall and beyond.

    1. Be more intentional with essential oils
    Scent is known to trigger both emotion and memory, so you can use scent to enhance your sense of self and impact the way you relate to the world around you. Instead of just the typical diffusing lavender oil to relax or sniffing peppermint oil for energy, DIY your own potions (see what I did there?) so you can tap into the kind of energy and emotion you associate with that scent at any time. Sniff or diffuse a wide range of essential oils (eucalyptus, lemon, etc.) and either see how the scent makes you feel or you can associate an affirmation to the smell.
    To take it a step further, blend your own concoction by starting with a base like jojoba or extra virgin olive oil, and pour into a small vial with a roller ball for easier application. Add a few drops of the essential oil of your choice to the base (essential oil alone might be irritating for the skin, which is why you combine with another oil to dilute) to rub onto temples, wrists, or other pressure points when needed. Top off the vial with some flower petals or fresh herbs to enhance the smell while beautifying the blend. As with all rituals, remember that setting an intention for the practice will amplify its effects. Assign a word (like bravery, compassion, or confidence) to your potion and apply the oil to your skin whenever you need to be reminded of that intention. 

    2. Update your bath routine
    Baths have been important for both hygiene and ritual for centuries. Water has often been used not only to cleanse the body, but also your mind and energy. And when you’re intentional about supplementing your bath water with herbs, flowers, or crystals, you can amplify its healing properties. Forget boring bubble bath–there are countless combinations you can create when devising your bath ritual. I like basil or eucalyptus plants to relax muscles, lavender or chamomile to relax the mind, rose petals and basil for skin glow, or crystals like Rose quartz and Amethyst to clear out anxious energy and invite peace into your space. 
    I believe that if you’re drawn to a particular plant or crystal, your intuition is guiding you to use it for your benefit. But if you’re a researcher like me, feel free to hit the books (like here or here) for all the healing properties that plants and stones have to offer. Go wild and apply whatever calls to you. Once again, bath rituals are sealed by the intentions you set for them, so think about what you’re cleansing, renewing, healing, or inviting in.

    3. Light some incense to reset energy in your space
    Many different cultures throughout history have burned herbs and incense as a way to clear stale energy from a space to make it feel vibrant and fresh. With the rise in palo santo and sage becoming more mainstream, it’s important to honor and remember where they come from, so do your research and honor the ritual. For incense, Frankincense and Myrrh are two options that have withstood the test of time and are still known for their healing properties. When it comes to lighting herbs and incense, do your research and find a type that calls to you to clear out space in. your home. 
    And remember, intention has to be at the core of any ritual. If it’s not, the practice is just fluff. Set the intention to clear stuck energy and invite fresh, loving vibes into your home. As the scent lingers, visualize the space being utilized in a way that feels good to you. This is a great ritual to do consistently, especially when you’re using your space as a work-from-home set-up. This ritual can help you meet specific goals at work, or ease out of work mode into relaxation. 

    4. Future journal to become the person you want to be
    You didn’t think I’d write a witchy post without at least one nod to spell-casting, did you? Journaling is a powerful way to cast daily “spells” because you are quite literally alchemizing your thoughts into tangible words on a page. Journaling in itself is a little bit magical. When you journal your intentions for how you want to feel, what you want to be doing, or how you want to be acting in the future, you’re better able to visualize yourself in that future role. This makes it easier to embody yourself in that role now, which is one of the fastest ways to manifest the life you want.
    So go ahead and write about the higher version of yourself. Then focus on all the elements I just laid out: how you want to feel, how you want to act, and what you’d like to be doing in the future. Take a few moments to embody who it is you’ve just written about, and notice how your energy shifts. If that’s not magic, I don’t know what is.

    5. Choose a single-word affirmation for each day
    If journaling feels like too lengthy an endeavor, another quick alchemizing trick is to choose a word or phrase that you want to embody on any given day. For example, if you have a big meeting you’re a little nervous about, “capable” might be your word of choice. Visualize yourself completely personifying this word and feel free to write it down somewhere that will be visible to you all day long, like on a post-it note by your desk. It can be just as powerful to embody a single word as it is to envision an entire future for yourself, so long as you set the intention to make it stick.

    6. Connect with nature on a regular basis
    Science has proven that electrons on the earth’s surface can transfer energy from the ground to our bodies, calming our nervous systems. We know that nature is healing. But guess what? Cultures, tribes, and world religions have known that for thousands of years (including witches). Anyone with a keen sensitivity to shifting energy will argue that the effects of this particular ritual are undeniable. Try earthing or grounding, which involves walking barefoot outside, or forest bathing, which means being in nature (a trail, forest, park, etc.) to reap more benefits.
    Take a moment to feel your bare feet on the ground in whatever way feels comfortable. Visualize any energy that does not serve you being pulled into the ground, feel gratitude for the oxygen that trees and plants supply, and check in with yourself if there are any insights that come up for you. You might be surprised what comes through. This is an especially good ritual for those of us with busy minds because it encourages us to slow down and reconnect to our inner voice of wisdom. Trust me when I say, your nervous system will thank you.

    How Make the Most of Cozy Girl Fall More

  • in

    How I Finally Achieved Radical Self-Love, and You Can Too

    Apologies in advance, but I’m going to start things off on a cynical note. I’ve always been suspicious of self-love as a concept—not just because it’s felt elusive for most of my life, but more so as a result of the role it’s taken on in our wellness-obsessed culture. With guided journals, aestheticized card decks, and beauty bundles marketed as tools for self-love, we’ve reached an oversaturation of self-love monetization.
    I’m not surprised. It’s the fate for just about every wellness buzzword out there. For me, to actually experience the confidence, acceptance, and self-actualization that self-love promises, it took stepping away from the glitz and glam of the internet’s interpretation. I had to actually understand what self-love looked like and meant for me. 
    I believe self-love ebbs and flows. It’s a deeply personal exploration of learning to appreciate all that you bring into the world. I’m sharing the steps I took to go from a woman prone to self-critique to a woman who leans into radical self-love every day. This is how I made my new reality. And it’s a reminder that you have the ability, strength, and power to do exactly the same.

    Remember that self-love isn’t a destination
    Spoiler: Self-love isn’t miraculously waking up one day to discover that all the conflicts and struggles in your life have magically sorted themselves out. Experiencing self-love doesn’t take the right workout, the perfect relationship, a rigid diet, or devoted meditation practice. For me to experience self-love, I had to embrace the epiphany that I can practice right now. Self-love isn’t conditional. Everything in our lives doesn’t have to be perfectly sorted out to get there. (Newsflash: Life is, and will forever be, messy.)
    As someone in recovery from an eating disorder, I’m familiar with the culture-driven belief that my body had to look a certain way before I could love it. But in treatment, I was challenged to change my language from critical to accepting. Suddenly, the arms I had thought were too big became the strong, loving vehicles that allowed me to wrap my nearest and dearest in a hug. And the weight I had gained around my tummy transformed into a protective, comforting shelter. Radical self-love takes a shift in perspective and choosing to show up each day with this curiosity, appreciation, and commitment to your whole self.

    Identify and stand up for your needs
    Radical self-love stems from concrete, intentional actions that support all areas of your well-being, happiness, and growth. Self-love requires a certain level of self-respect. And to achieve self-respect, we have to be mindful of the boundaries we set with others. Last week, I was chatting with my therapist about a relationship that was troubling me. I loved and cared for this person, but the effort and energy I put in left me feeling drained. She shared a revelatory phrase that I’ve since posted on my desk: “I can’t help them if it’s hurting me.”
    As women, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we have to put others’ needs first—always. But a crucial part of self-love is believing that your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. Trust in your inherent worth and never sacrifice your well-being. While the nuances of our personal definitions of self-respect vary, this framework is important for shaping our relationship with ourselves. Spend time reflecting on what needs and boundaries look like for you. What practices, rituals, and routines will help you experience self-love each day? Write those down and take action to follow through.

    Bring more of your qualities into the world
    I was at dinner a few nights ago, and toward the end of the evening, we broke out a conversation card deck. It asked us to name a quality we want to bring more of into the world. I thought for a moment and realized that I’d been hiding my penchant for silliness and humor for too long. It took asking myself that question to truly realize that I’d been letting this part of myself lie dormant. I love to laugh, and there’s little else that brings me more joy than to see someone crack a smile because of something I said. 
    Unfortunately, up until this point, I had been harboring a long-held belief that I was supposed to be quiet, serious, and reserved to be taken seriously. But self-love told me to meet myself exactly where I was, exactly as I am. So ask yourself: Is there a truth about yourself that you’re keeping hidden to please others? Reflect on the ease and freedom you would feel to experience every day as your most authentic self. Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

    Be open to the new realizations that come with self-love
    Stepping into self-love comes with a healthy dose of vulnerability and the courage to be wholly, authentically you. That will likely bring a lot of changes into your life. While we might default to resisting the discomfort of change, let it flow through you. It can be hard to shift the way you’ve always done things, but allowing these new rhythms into your life can help you experience more self-love each day.
    I track these changes in my journal and take note of when I’m tempted to resist this growth. Also, my partner is my accountability buddy when I’m tempted to choose critique if self-love feels like a challenge. It can be hard to slip into my workout gear when I’m having a bad body image day. But sharing how aligned and connected my body and mind feel post-workout helps me keep this habit. And when I’m not hungry but know that I need a nutrient-dense dinner, journaling about this conflict has helped me view cooking as a nourishing, loving act.

    Commit to the practice of self-love
    Self-love doesn’t happen overnight. It isn’t something that we can wait to start practicing when our lives are perfect. The best time to begin your self-love journey is today. Right now. So let these tips guide your way. Some days may be easier than others, but know that you’re always on the path of growing into a more loving and forgiving version of yourself. Self-love is a commitment. It’s something you can return to anytime you feel you’ve forgotten these tips. So start today, and embrace the inevitable twists and turns toward a kinder, gentler state of inner peace.

    Your Self-Care Routine Might Be Damaging
    Here’s why. More

  • in

    Is There Such a Thing As “Too Much” Self-Care? It’s Time We Reevaluate How To Care for Ourselves

    We are in the self-care era. The concept is so popular and widely embraced that it seems everyone is doing face masks and daily breathwork. But with so many voices applauding new rituals and practices in the name of wellbeing, it can feel a little overwhelming to keep up with it all. And that sensation of feeling overwhelmed begs the question: Is all of this actually making us healthier and happier?
    When scrolling through #wellness TikToks or my Instagram feed, I’m often reminded of how easy it is to get so obsessive about eating “clean” that it actually becomes stressful. The irony, of course, is that stress is bad for us too–including over-stressing about food. So, where else in our wellness routines do we care so much about hitting the mark that we inexplicably miss it? As it turns out, a lot of places. We can be so rigid with being “healthy” that it becomes unhealthy. So, could the same be true with our culture’s self-care obsession? 
    Before we dive in, you should know that I am pro-wellness. Like big time, it-saved-my-life kinda stuff. But as with all passions, there’s a tipping point. I believe we should all have self-care routines. I believe our bodies deserve (and need!) time, energy, and resources to help them feel their best. But sometimes, we become so mindless with our habits—and get so involved in the latest trends—that the practices meant to help us become harmful. Here’s how to know if your self-care routine is truly caring for you and tips to reevaluate your self-care practices now.

    When self-care becomes damaging
    The wellness industry means well. However, in the name of making money, it can play a little too much into our fears. It can make us feel like we’re not doing, paying, or being enough. Like, “Hey, are you zen enough? Are you going to wrinkle quicker than you should? Are your insides quietly decomposing before their time? Good news! There’s a skin cream, green powder, or alt-therapy for that!”
    It’s like there are two different versions of caring for yourself. First, there are self-care practices you do because you love yourself and know you deserve rest, care, and joy. These practices support a healthy relationship with self-care. They help us feel good, and they don’t suffocate the rest of our lives. Then, there are self-care practices you do because you don’t feel good enough as you already are. This can become a stressful obsession with the impossible pursuit to make your body and mind forever flawless.
    I’ve experienced both forms, and if you’re into wellness like I am, you probably have, too. Thankfully, I’ve learned a few things about identifying self-care practices and whether or not they’re genuinely caring for you. So, read on for some key tips to reevaluate your self-care routine and make sure it’s actually caring for you.

    Tips to Reevaluate Your Self-Care Routine
     
    Get honest with yourself
    Before you can even begin to protect yourself against accidental self-sabotage, you need to have “the talk.” What kind of relationship do you currently have with self-care? Is it flirtatious and fun? Committed and energizing? Or does it talk down to you and make you feel small? Do you feel pressure to keep it up? Does it feel like a chore? If you feel uncomfortable in your relationship with self-care, you can repair it. Awareness is one of the greatest powers at your disposal. Simply acknowledging where you’re at can give you the power to shift course.

    Name your fears
    Whether or not you have a healthy relationship with self-care, you undoubtedly have some wellness-related fears. For instance, I sometimes fear that I’m accidentally doing something bad for me that I think is good for me—like a health supplement that is actually filled with toxins. Other fears might include that you’re aging too fast, falling behind with your health, or that you have to strive for perfection. Maybe you even have some internalized fatphobia or orthorexic behavior where food that’s not considered nutritious can make you feel anxious. 
    Naming your fears allows you to pause before they get the best of you. Additionally, seek therapy to work through mindsets holding you back. When you feel triggered to start a new self-care practice, consider this: Will it feel good or stressful to incorporate this into your routine? Does the idea of dry brushing your entire body every single morning give you hives or get you excited to assess the results? A little nervousness when trying something new is normal. However, if maintaining a budding practice has become a stressful ordeal, you might be doing it out of fear rather than care. Either reframe your relationship to the practice or reexamine if it should be in your routine at all.

    Reconnect to your “why”
    Your “why” is the opposite of fear–it’s what lights you up! If you are invested in self-care, it’s likely because it feeds something in you that makes you feel good. Maybe the endorphins from your exercise routine make you feel unstoppable, or the after-glow from your evening ritual makes you feel pampered AF. This is what self-care is all about. Connecting to what drives you can reinvigorate your relationship with self-care.
    For example, the reason I want to exercise is to feel strong and powerful. Whenever exercise feels stale for me, I connect to my “why,” and it completely renews my energy. When I connect to the affirmation “I am getting stronger” throughout my workout, it’s less of a burden and more invigorating. The aftermath of the workout is also more enriching because I’m focused on how good it feels instead of checking a chore off of a list.
    Reconnecting to your “why” is also a great tool to reach for if you notice your fears are starting to run the show. Your “why” will connect you to your values. This might expose some of your fears as nonessential. For example, maybe you’re being told the skin cream you love isn’t as effective as a trendy new face oil, and it’s triggering a fear that you’re behind the curve. Is having the most effective solution what’s really important to you? Or is “effective enough” OK? If the skin cream you already have makes you feel radiant, smells amazing, and elicits all the relaxing vibes, isn’t that the goal? You don’t have to chase the trends or latest products if what you’re already doing meets your needs for self-care.

    Eliminate the phrase “I should” 
    When push comes to shove, “should” is a shaming word. When you are connected to your “why,” self-care comes from I want to, not I should. So if you’ve tried all the steps above and still find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your desire to keep up, hunt for the places you tell yourself, “I should.” I’m going to say something radical: When it comes to self-care, you aren’t obligated to do anything. Self-care means making time and energy to care for yourself, and that’s it! When we talk about self-care in today’s world, we have this image that it’s about bubble baths and gym memberships. But self-care can literally look like anything: a nap, a glass of wine with friends, skipping the gym for an hour of TV because you need it more, or going to therapy.
    If there’s something that you know could be “good for you,” but you just don’t want to do it, that’s OK. Feeling pressured to do something defeats the whole purpose of self-care. So next time you hear yourself utter an “I should” about your wellness routine, try swapping it with “I want to.” If that doesn’t feel right, then guess what? You might not want to, and that’s OK! Our desires—and our capacity to carry them out—ebbs and flows throughout our lives. Something that feels hard now might feel rejuvenating later. In the meantime, there are other self-care methods that will strike your fancy. Find what speaks to you, and I give you full permission to drop the rest.

    Make your own definition of self-care
    Ultimately, you are in charge of what self-care means to you. (That’s where the “self” part comes from!) It can be tempting to try keeping up with the trends, but the constant seeking and second-guessing can drag you down. It’s up to you to advocate for your own relationship to care. What feels good for you isn’t going to light everyone else up, and vice-versa. We are so lucky to be living in an era where self-care is applauded and encouraged.
    With an abundance of resources and suggestions at our disposal, it’s up to us to decipher which practices will have the most impact on our minds, spirits, and bodies. And most importantly, you do not have to try them all. When you trust your gut, make friends with your fears, and lean into your “why,” your self-care routine will care for, recharge, and energize you.

    This article discusses obsessive thoughts, but it is not meant to treat or diagnose. Please take care of yourself if these topics could be triggering, and always seek professional help if you are struggling with an eating disorder or disordered thoughts or behaviors.
    Call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 for support, reach out to a qualified medical professional, or, for a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.

    How To Make Time for Self-Care When Your Life Is a Hot Mess More

  • in

    How To Make Time for Self-Care When Your Life Is a Hot Mess

    We know we’re supposed to make time for journaling, meal planning, shopping at the local farmer’s market, reading books, taking baths, or falling asleep to binaural beats. Whatever your choose-your-own-adventure form of self-care looks like, it contributes to your well-being, regulates your nervous system, and ultimately feeds your sense of “flow.”
    But the truth is that–despite what the internet might lead you to believe–most people do not live perfectly manicured, carefree lives laden with self-care rituals. If fitting in any amount of self-care feels more like a fantasy, it’s likely because life is always sprinkling in some less desirable variables (think: a health scare, the loss of a loved one, getting side-swiped on the way to work, a messy kitchen, feeling behind on a project). And sometimes, these moments overlap, sending you into a spiral of overwhelm so lovingly deemed “the hot mess.” 
    Seasons like these are part of life. It’s OK to feel their full weight, and it can be helpful to know that they, too, shall pass. No matter how hard we try to maintain order, sometimes we are swept away by life’s chaos. Unfortunately, this is when all forms of self-care tend to get tossed out the window, which is ironic because it’s also the key to our sanity. So how do you keep it together when everything is falling apart? How can you commit to self-care when it feels like you’re living in a literal dumpster fire? I’ve been writing about and practicing self-care for almost a decade, so I’ve managed to pick up a few strategies to keep my head above water. If you’re basking in a thousand little fires, I hope these tips can help to cool the temperature a few degrees.

    1. Embrace the mess
    Easier said than done, but sometimes our resistance to the chaos is part of the problem. Life isn’t supposed to be perfect, and it’s certainly not your fault when it isn’t. Allowing yourself to accept that things might feel a little messy for a while is an act of self-care in itself. When I give my life permission to be hard, my nervous system calms down because I’m no longer trying to activate fight-or-flight mode. When I allow challenges to appear in my life, I am more prepared to handle them. By the way, giving life permission to be hard is not the same as expecting the worst—that’s a recipe for anxiety. The nuance here is acceptance versus anticipation. Things are allowed to feel challenging, but that doesn’t mean they always are.

    2. Give yourself grace
    OK, so you’ve dropped every self-care routine you’ve ever known. Or maybe you’ve never been able to stick to the healthy habits you crave. First of all, welcome to the club. You are not alone. It might not seem like it because people don’t tend to wear their burnout on their sleeves, but I assure you, you are in very good company. Secondly, know that you are not failing at self-care. You’re surviving. That’s a feat in itself. When I start to feel the words “failure” form on my lips, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am a sole person with a finite amount of resources. I forgive myself for feeling like I’m not doing enough. Forward momentum is forward momentum, even at a snail’s pace. And every day offers a new opportunity to try again.

    3. Reframe time as a commodity that you own
    A commodity is something you can own, barter, buy, and sell. I really want that to sink in. The reason why things feel extra hard sometimes and easier other times almost always comes down to time. A balanced life is all about having the time to do what you need to do as well as what you love to do. When time is limited, we tend to drop what we love for the sake of what’s necessary. But when we recognize that our time is ours—and that we have agency over how to use it—that can empower us to incorporate a little more self-care into the mix.

    4. Tally up the time you have
    Once you take ownership of your time, take inventory of how much of it you actually have. This will let you know what’s reasonable for incorporating self-care. For example, I am a mom to a tiny toddler. She has a knack for getting into trouble whenever my back is turned, so I can’t count on overextending myself while she’s around. This means I have one hour while she’s napping, two hours in the morning while my husband is on duty, and maybe two hours after she’s asleep at night to do anything of value. That’s five hours each day. When I look at it from a bird’s eye view, carving out 10-30 minutes a day for a self-care ritual doesn’t feel so absurd.

    5. Prioritize the mess
    Now that you know how many hours you own in a day consider prioritizing which fires to put out. Some of them might not be burning as brightly as you think. For example, in my house, I have a couple of smart ceiling fans that are desperate for tech support. The Bluetooth controls keep over-communicating with each other, so when I’m trying to turn the light on in my bedroom at night, the ceiling fan in my baby’s room lights up, too—while she’s sleeping! But you know what? This is a “next week” problem. Figure out what your next week’s problems are. This is important because if you don’t, every single minor issue that falls from the sky is going to take precedence over your mental health. If you’re going to make time for self-care, you need to send some of your fires to the future.

    6. Pick your most potent form of self-care
    When you are low on time, you obviously can’t dedicate a full day to all of the self-care rituals you love. So it’s time to take into account the practices that pack the biggest punch in the shortest amount of time. This will look different for everyone. For my husband, it’s a 30-minute power nap. For me, it’s a 15-minute meditation. For you, it might be a bath, facial, or walk around the block. It doesn’t matter what you choose, so long as you choose something. If you’re not sure which practices deliver results, try a few! Rotate through some of your favorites and notice whether they speak to you or not. You might surprise yourself with how good you feel after doing something as simple as a five-minute gua sha routine.

    7. Block time in your calendar for self-care
    I’m sure you saw this coming, but it’s cliché for a reason, folks. If it’s not on some kind of to-do list, it’s probably not going to get done. If you’d rather add your self-care practice to your actual to-do list, that’s not a bad idea either. But if you use a calendar regularly, seeing time blocked off for just you will remind you how important it is and ensure it happens. And if you have a shared calendar, it can remind others that this is a non-negotiable time for you.

    8. When you do self-care, feel it
    When life is operating in hot-mess mode, it’s so easy to rush through each day in survival mode. You might be checking boxes off the list as fast as you can just so you can get to the next problem that needs to be solved. This mad-dash mentality might be so automatic that it doesn’t slow down, even when you do make time for self-care. You might be doing the ritual just to get it done. You’re going to have to make it a point to stop that.
    As soon as you engage with whatever form of self-care you’ve chosen, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Notice how it feels. For example, if all you have time to incorporate is a shower, don’t spend it thinking about what you have to do next. Instead, notice how the water feels on your back. You are granting yourself this time, so be present with it. Soak it in and revel in it.

    9. Be kind to yourself when you skip self-care
    Look, sometimes the other stuff gets loud. You had every intention of meditating, but your stove just short-circuited, and your “you” time has turned into being on the phone with your landlord. That’s not your fault, so go easy on yourself. The same theory applies when you just don’t feel like doing it. You know it’s going to feel good to make yourself that smoothie, but you don’t have the energy to dump everything in the blender and hit the button. No judgment—I’ve been there. Look at it this way: If you’re making a choice to rest, guess what? That’s self-care too. Boom.

    10. Sprinkle gratitude into your day
    Speaking of quick-hitting practices with big impact, have you heard of gratitude? Of course, you have. But did you know that focusing on how thankful you are for just 30 seconds has the power to permanently rewire your brain? It does! Do you know what that means? If you’re going through a phase where you legit have zero energy for any self-care, gratitude can take its place. Gratitude as a feeling has a near instant effect on your nervous system. It centers, grounds, and connects you to what really matters: your values. 
    Allow yourself to feel grateful for the tiny moments in your day that light you up: the barista complimenting your bangs, a stranger holding open a door, or the simple beauty of a late-summer sunset. This can give you enough of a recharge to make it through the rest of your day unscathed.

    11. At the end of the day, trust in yourself 
    When you’re underwater, it’s hard to see the horizon. But I promise you: Nothing lasts forever. Life will get quiet again. You will get more time back. And in the meantime, you’ll get through this. Do you know what I tell myself at the end of every day? “You’re doing it.” Because while that mail has been sitting in its sad stack for days, I’ve been doing literally everything else to make sure the bills are paid, mouths are fed, work gets done, friendships are kept, and fires stay out. I’m doing it. You are too. With or without self-care, you’re doing it. Allow yourself to be proud of that, period. And when you’re ready to invite more feel-good practices into your life, trust that you will.

    How To Update Your Wellness Routine for Fall More

  • in

    10 Little Luxuries That’ll Elevate Any Average Weekday

    I’ve recently seen quite a few videos on TikTok sharing small things you can add to your life every day to really elevate your day-to-day experience, and I absolutely love the idea of treating yourself to little luxuries. Let’s face it: Life can get pretty mundane sometimes as we work our 9-5 and try to keep things interesting. So, adding in small things every day that feels like a special treat is a great way to elevate an average weekday.
    Obviously, you can mix up your weekdays by doing fun activities and just getting out of the house, but there’s no denying that there are some products that can really elevate your everyday environment. Life is short after all, so we shouldn’t feel guilty treating ourselves to those little luxuries that make us happy. From ultra-comfy pajamas to beauty products that will transport you to a high-end spa, these are the items that make every day a little bit more luxurious. 

    Equilibria
    Nourishing Body Oil
    At least once per week, I take THE shower. You know the one—exfoliate, shave, hair mask, and every other beauty treatment I can squeeze in. After this revitalizing shower, I do one of my absolute favorite self-care rituals: use my Equilibria Nourishing Body Oil with a body gua sha. Not only does the CBD provide the ultimate calming experience, the oil nourishes my skin and keeps it hydrated while the body gua sha improves my circulation and helps with lymphatic drainage. My skin has never felt better and smoother than after I treat myself to this little luxury.
    Use code theeverygirl for 20% off of your first order at Equilibria!

    Moonlight Eco Short Pajamas
    A more affordable option when it comes to high-end pajamas, this short set comes in more than 10 adorable colors and patterns. This set is buttery soft, so trust us: Once you start living the luxury pajama life, you’ll never go back.

    St. Barts Cleansing Scalp & Body Sugar Scrub
    With hundreds of rave reviews, you can add this product to your self-care arsenal knowing it won’t disappoint. The scent, inspired by St. Barts, has tropical notes like dragonfruit and tuberose, so you’ll be transported right to island life.

    Sunshine Bundle
    This diffuser has a ceramic cover, making it much more high-end than the not-so-cute plastic options you can find elsewhere. It comes in eight gorgeous color options, so it’s guaranteed to look beautiful in any home. This bundle comes with four vibrant essential oils for energy and overall good vibes.

    Silk Sleepmask
    Our editors swear by silk sleep masks to get the beauty sleep we deserve. This option from Slip will definitely elevate your everyday sleep experience, but they’re even better for improving sleep while traveling.

    Lowball Ribbed Cocktail Glasses
    It’s time to trade in those old plastic cups and invest in some beautiful glassware. It’s truly shocking how fancy you can feel by drinking a beverage out of a pretty glass—and you better believe it’s worth it.

    Barefoot Dreams
    CozyChic™ Socks
    It’s no secret that we’re obsessed with Barefoot Dreams here at The Everygirl. We’ve raved about the robes and the blankets, but these socks are our new favorite. These will have you feeling extra cozy all fall and winter long.

    Summer Fridays
    Lip Butter Balm
    As much as we hate to acknowledge it, the colder months are fast approaching. This lip butter balm from Summer Fridays is praised for its luxurious scent and ultra-hydrating properties. Plus, it’s vegan, cruelty-free, and comes in recyclable packaging.

    Reverence Aromatique Hand Wash
    While you might be tempted to pick up a $5 hand soap on your next Target run, you don’t realize how much this Aesop option will elevate your hand-washing experience until you’ve tried it. Not only does it smell like you’re in a luxurious spa, it keeps your hands extra moisturized and soft.

    15 Sunday Rituals to Set You Up for an Amazing Week

    This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

  • in

    You Don’t Need a S.O. To Take You Out: 6 Solo Date Ideas to Add to Your Calendar ASAP

    Too many times we get caught up in scrolling for our next beau or babe on Bumble, spicing up our romantic relationships, or maintaining the platonic ones (especially over long distance). And since we’re always making space and time for our loved ones, sometimes we forget the most important person through it all: you. Ask yourself this: how many times this year have you actually thought about some solo date ideas? No, I’m not talking about a Trader Joe’s run (although it can be quite the self-care), but a real moment of dating yourself. 
    To some, this may sound absolutely outside of the box. How does a date work if it doesn’t have at least two people? This isn’t some ploy to force you to be anti-social, I promise. It’s a push to take better care of yourself, find your love language, and treat yourself accordingly. If that doesn’t convince you, remember this: If you spend your entire life waiting on other people, you’ll be waiting forever.
    You know that cute cafe you’ve been eying for months now? Grab your laptop and just go. That trip to the West Indies you’ve been pasting on your mood board for the past three years? Buy that ticket and make sure you get a window seat. Although the journey may be terrifying—introverts, I’m talking to you—there is something absolutely magical in doing things alone. All it takes is a little push and a long bucket list. 
    Here are 6 solo date ideas that’ll have you clearing your calendar for the rest of the year.

    1. Go to a Museum or Art Gallery
    Connecting with history and art is as therapeutic as it gets. Head to your local museum or art gallery and lose yourself in it all. When you’re alone, you can stare at a piece or dawdle in an exhibit for as long as you want. Nobody is there to rush or ask for your commentary.
    Use that time to think introspectively. How does the art relate to a similar experience you’ve had? Do you feel inclined to do more at-home research on a specific culture you came across? How do the brush strokes of a particular painting make you feel? Kudos if you head to a different city or state for this one.

    2. Book a Yoga or Fitness Class
    Working out with friends can be fun, but pushing yourself to do it alone can be extremely rewarding. Have you always wanted to try pilates? Maybe hot yoga? Head to your nearest studio and start sweating!
    Without being swayed by the commitment of others, you’ll be able to focus on your own goals and stay consistent, and you’ll be able to mold your regimen around your own schedule, too. Besides maximizing your flexibility, the intrinsic gratification you’ll experience will be much better than hearing a compliment from anyone else. And if you’re still wanting an accountability buddy, make friends at your gym or studio. 

    3. Have a Mini-Photoshoot
    Ready to start your trek to 1M followers? Even if you’re not eying being the next big-time influencer, grabbing your camera and taking pictures of yourself is sure to be a confidence booster. How many times did you find the perfect background on a girls’ trip, but the pictures just weren’t turning out how you wanted? Take this time to figure out new poses, your best angles, and some of the most unbelievable locations.

    4. Take a Cooking Class
    We can all admit that ordering out always beats cooking in, but it doesn’t hurt to sharpen your skills. If you’re exhausted with your current rotation of meals, find a local (or online) class that caters to the cuisine you’re obsessed with or want to know more about. Besides being a great way to connect with family and loved ones, it’s an amazing way to constantly treat yourself. There’s no better feeling than knowing your recipe tastes just as good (if not better) than it does at your favorite restaurant.
    If you’re out of luck with chefs that inspire you, Pinterest is always a faithful option. Here are some of my favorites I’m sure you’ll fall in love with: 

    5. Get Dinner and See a Movie
    Going back to the basics is always a great idea. Although there won’t be any moves by your date getting pulled on you (bummer?), it’s a great way to show yourself that these places aren’t only reserved for twos. For dinner, proudly request your table for one, and bring along your laptop or journal if you feel uncomfortable. It’ll become easier the more you go.
    If you’re an avid moviegoer or just an occasional one, challenge yourself to see a movie you haven’t heard of. The thrill just might be the beginning of your love for a new series, actor, or director. And who knows, you might even be pulling moves on yourself by the end of the night. 

    6. Be a Tourist in Your Own Town
    For many of us, home is our happy place. The idea of going outside might seem unappetizing, but I challenge you to throw on your favorite outfit, put your cellphone on DND, and treat your city like foreign territory. Check out all of the hidden gems, try new restaurants, and support some small businesses. You never know what you’ll find. 
    If you’re really feeling up for it, walk, roller skate, or bike ride throughout your city instead of driving. Too many times we use our cars as shields to not have to really be within the city we reside in. Take a new path and put yourself completely out there. It’ll be worth it. 

    5 Things My Therapist Taught Me About Self-Love More

  • in

    On Your Period? Here’s a Self-Care Guide for That Time of the Month

    It’s that time of the month when cramps, bloating, fatigue, and other unglamorous symptoms rear their ugly heads. That’s right–I’m talking about what Cher Horowitz refers to as “surfing the crimson wave” (see: Clueless), otherwise known as being on your period. The good news? With some TLC for your mind and body, you can turn the dreaded week into an opportunity to tune in to yourself and your needs and just go with the flow (pun intended). Read on for period self-care practices to incorporate during the week of your menstruation to honor, celebrate, and get in touch with your body.
     
    1. Nourish your body with iron-rich foods
    You’ve likely heard of cycle-syncing, or making lifestyle adjustments according to your hormonal fluctuations that occur throughout the month. In other words, The Cycle Syncing Method® suggests changing up your routine to support your body’s needs based on the different phases of your menstrual cycle.
    During your period (AKA the menstrual phase), your hormone levels drop, leaving you feeling anything but energetic. Now is the time to load your plate with nutrient-dense and iron-rich foods and ensure you’re consuming enough calories. For protein sources, think wild salmon, beef, chicken, or turkey. Vegan or vegetarian? No problem! Stock up on lentils, chickpeas, or pinto beans. And we can’t forget veggies, of course. Consider dark, leafy greens like spinach, chard, and kale to be your best friends this week. Finally, add herbs and spices like turmeric, ginger, and cinnamon, to your dishes for a boost of anti-inflammatory goodness.

    2. Stay hydrated  
    You know that motivational water bottle you’ve been saying you need to get (because a little encouragement never hurts)? Well, now’s the time to “Add to cart” (Amazon Prime FTW) because hydration is key, especially during this stage. Give your coffee maker (or barista, if we’re being honest) a break this week, and swap your cup of joe for non-caffeinated teas, such as red raspberry leaf tea. Red raspberry leaf is packed with nutrients, including vitamins A, C, and E, as well as calcium, iron, and potassium. Still not convinced? A study showed that red raspberry leaves may reduce the menstrual cramping caused by the spasms of pelvic muscles (excuse me while I go clear out Whole Foods’ entire inventory of raspberry leaf tea). 
     
    3. Go easy on your workouts
    Ever notice how enticing your bed becomes with the onset of your period? While cozying up in bed all week isn’t realistic (a girl can dream), listen to your body and avoid putting your body through any strenuous exercise. Hit pause on your HIIT workouts, marathon training, or any Rocky-inspired sessions. Instead, opt for lighter, low-impact forms of exercise, like walking, stretching, Pilates, or restorative yoga. Or get your endorphins going while soaking up Vitamin D by heading outdoors for a low-key hike, jog, or swim. Sure, staying active during your period has many benefits, like lessening fatigue and mood swings, but if you’re feeling especially drained, there’s nothing wrong with taking a rest day or two. 

    4. Schedule time in your calendar for R&R
    When you’re accustomed to a fast-paced, go-go-go lifestyle, it can be hard—even uncomfortable—to allow yourself to rest. You may be used to pulling a 6o-hour work week or double-booking your calendar, but this week is not the time to go full speed ahead. Rather, take the week to slow down and make time for yourself. Lighten your schedule with fewer work meetings and social obligations; block off time to take a warm bath or get a massage; get sexy if you’re up for it, or romance yourself with some self-love if sex isn’t in the cards; step outside and connect to the earth through grounding; and optimize your Zzz’s by keeping your bedroom cool and resisting that “just one more episode” urge. 

    5. Let go of what may be holding you back
    Just as the uterus sheds its lining during the week of your period, it’s time to self-reflect and release anything that’s no longer serving you, whether it be people, habits, beliefs, or a job. According to Alisa Vitti, the creator of The Cycle Syncing Method®, this phase is the optimal time to evaluate your life and process your reflections because your level of clarity and intuition is at its peak. What can you let go of that’s keeping you from being your highest self? And by doing so, what can you create space for? Try implementing journaling, manifestation, or meditation to guide you toward living your best life. 

    6. Consider alternative menstrual products
    As convenient as tampons are, they’re not budget or eco-friendly, and using them seems counterintuitive when the point is to release and let it flow. With many innovative and sustainable substitutes to traditional period products available today, making the switch has never been easier. Before your “Flo” comes around again, consider reaching for feminine care alternatives like period underwear, menstrual cups, or menstrual discs. And if you find yourself in a pinch and scrambling to the nearest drugstore (we’ve all been there) or you just prefer to use tampons, go the organic route (sans chemical additives). Because being mindful of your body and the planet doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. 

    How To Heal Your Period Problems, According to This Viral Holistic Expert More

  • in

    The Summer of You: 10 Ways To Upgrade Your Routine for Summer

    While we know summer self-care is important, self-care is not always as easy in the summer as it is in other seasons when everyone is cooped up indoors (and no one’s posting envy-worthy road trip pics). During warmer months, if you don’t live at a beach, crush intense workouts regularly, or go on dreamy vacations every weekend, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out. I like to call it FOMOOAPS: Fear of Missing Out on a Perfect Summer (maybe a stretch?). But focusing on what you’re not doing is taking away from what you should be doing: caring for yourself. Screw the FOMO and instead, make this the summer you put yourself first. Here are 10 ways to upgrade your routine to make the most of the season.

    1. Switch up your workouts
    If you’re stuck in a rut because you take the same workout class every day, summer is your solution. Consider taking your HIIT circuits or yoga flow outdoors: Bring your mat and sun salutations to the park or go for a walk instead of running on the treadmill. Summer is also a great time to try a workout you’ve never done before: Go for a hike, try an outdoor class, ask a friend to join, or try a totally new type of workout. Bonus: Thanks to the longer days, warmer weather, and brighter sunlight, we often have the most energy in the summertime, so take advantage and up the intensity: Go for a high-energy dance class if you’re usually a relaxing-flow kind of girl or train for the marathon you’ve always wanted to run. Just don’t forget your SPF!

    2. Make your own summer vacations
    Ah, remember childhood (or High School Musical 2) when summer was synonymous with vacation? Summer break meant no school from June to August and weeks of pool trips and popsicles ahead of you. Even if we’re grown-ups now (womp, womp) and don’t get a summer break from work (but like, isn’t that a great idea?), you can still apply the same mentality. Summer serves as the perfect reminder that work should be a part of your life, not your entire life. Take advantage of your PTO, whether that means taking a long weekend for a road trip with friends or a mental health day here and there to sleep in, get outside, and enjoy your life. And if all else fails, turn every weekend into a mini vacation (or staycation) to make the most of the season (and your life). 

    3. “Summer clean” your house
    Why should spring cleaning have all the fun? Let me introduce you to summer cleaning (AKA turning your home into the warm-weather oasis you deserve). Since clutter in the home translates into clutter in the mind, having an organized, clean, and happy home will help you enjoy the warmer months and boost your mood (I mean, how happy does an organized closet make you?). Spend a day organizing your junk drawer, donating clothes you don’t wear, and optimizing the space in your kitchen. But “summer cleaning” doesn’t just have to be the tedious stuff: Update your decor for a happier season by trading darker home accents with more colorful accessories, add a colorful print or two to the wall, and make minor upgrades with of-the-moment trends to brighten up your home. Minor changes like fresh flowers in vases or citrus oil in a diffuser can also make all the difference. 

    4. Eat fresher foods 
    While you may crave hearty dishes and warm meals in wintertime, you’re more likely to crave fresher foods come summer. Healthy eating is easy when the weather is warm. Your body wants lighter foods, herbs are in season, and vegetables on the grill suddenly sound as good as pasta or pizza. Take advantage of grocery stores full of produce in their prime (think: juicy tomatoes, fresh strawberries, and sweet corn), base grocery lists and recipes around the many delicious fruits and vegetables that are in season, and snack on crispy bell peppers or delicious watermelon. Also, make an effort to add more water-rich foods to your diet for bonus hydration points, like watermelon, cucumber, zucchini, and tomatoes. 

    5. Update your skincare for the season
    Imagine this: It’s the middle of summer 2022. You’ve got an effortless glow that even the lifeguards envy, and the disturbing amount of sweat and SPF on your skin at all times doesn’t even break you out. If it sounds too good to be true, know that you can score a killer tan without the harmful rays of the sun (thank you, fake tanning products!), and just because you’re loading up on SPF or sweating more does not mean you have to suffer through acne. Your skin just needs different things in the summer than it does in the winter, so update your routine accordingly. Include exfoliating acids to slough off dead skin, use cooling tools to de-puff and calm inflammation, make sure you have proper sun-care, and, if you’re looking to fake tan, opt for a high-quality faux glow for the summer skin of your dreams.

    6. Take advantage of longer hours
    So you know that days are longer during the summer, but have you ever thought about changing your daily routine to make the most of those long days? Longer days mean more sunlight, and more sunlight means more energy (think about it: waking up at 7 a.m. when it’s already light out is way different from waking up to a dark, cold 7 a.m. that still feels like nighttime). Take full advantage of the extra energy by waking up early for a workout or even just adding 30 minutes to your morning routine for some extra “me” time. And when it comes to staying lighter later, bring your post-work routine outdoors, whether that means eating dinner on your balcony or going on a run instead of opting for the treadmill. 

    7. Go tech-free
    One of the best parts of summer is that there is so much to do that’s not watching TV or staring at your computer screen (winter, I love you, but you forced me into some major Netflix black holes). Commit to going tech-free for at least a couple of hours every week or even a small amount of time every day. Go on a hike, read a book, or spend time with friends sans Instagram posting. No matter how you choose to spend your tech-free time, put down your phone, close your laptop, and turn off the TV to enjoy the screen-free time. If you want more of a challenge, consider going on a social media break for an entire week or limiting social media to one half-hour block a day.

    8. Walk everywhere
    “Fitness” doesn’t have to mean intense, exhausting, hour-long workouts. Instead, it just means simply moving as much as possible and living less sedentarily. True self-care is not about pushing yourself to the limit or reaching exhaustion but rather about just doing more of what you know makes your body feel good. One of the best parts of summer is that walking everywhere is not only possible, but it’s also pleasant. Cue up your favorite summer playlist or a new podcast episode and vow to walk everywhere (at least) within a one-mile radius (bonus: it’s better for the planet). For farther destinations, get creative about your transportation. For example, walk to the farther train stop to get in some extra steps or try bike riding for a quicker method that’s still active. 

    9. Grow your own produce
    Even if you don’t think your thumb is green, the summer season is the ideal time to start growing herbs or vegetables (you can do it, I promise). Let’s talk about why: Growing produce is healthier for you, better for the Earth, and easier on your wallet, and it just feels empowering to be able to whip up a pesto with basil from a pot outside. If you have a yard and the space, start with basics like tomatoes and lettuce (easy-to-grow summer produce). If you’re in an apartment or don’t have space outdoors, grow fresh herbs on a windowsill or with a smart garden.
     
    10. Remember that social health is self-care
    Community care is not only one of the top wellness trends of the past couple years, but it’s also a crucial part of self-care that we often overlook. I’ve been there: the temptation to skip beach days with friends because you’re feeling insecure or getting stressed about dinner plans because every item on the menu will make you bloated. But having strong relationships (and enjoying them regularly) is not only something we want but also something we need. Instead, remember that laughing with friends is truly better for your health than a green juice, and happy memories affect you way longer than a salty margarita ever could. Yes, you can always take care of your body, but this summer, prioritize taking care of your relationships too.

    How to Change Your Beauty Routine for Summer
    According to our beauty editor More