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      10 Things to Do If Your Confidence Needs a Major Boost

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      Confidence might sound like some fluffy, idealistic principle your Girl Scout leader used to talk about, but it’s the most powerful, tangible thing you can cultivate to achieve the life you want. You might have learned from ’90s makeover movies that once you make major changes, then you’ll finally feel confident. But actually, confidence is the key to make drastic improvements, whether it comes to your health, career, or relationships. In other words, stop waiting for circumstances to happen and, instead, work on boosting confidence first. The changes you want to make in your life will happen as a byproduct. Here are 10 concrete ways to love yourself like Lizzo and boost confidence to achieve your best life.
      1. Be brutally honest with yourself
      Do you love your job? Do you genuinely enjoy all of your friendships? Are you open about the hobbies that bring you joy (yes, even the geeky ones)? Not only will being brutally honest illuminate areas in your life where you’re not your true self, but it will also force you to stop trying to “fit in” (middle school trauma can still really affect us, you know?). And when you realize what you do genuinely love and enjoy, do more of it. You can’t be fully confident unless you openly own, accept, and feel comfortable with who you are.
      That also means knowing your strengths and accepting whatever you previously deemed a “weakness.” You know that famous quote by Albert Einstein that’s written on inspirational cards and quoted in graduation speeches? “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Remember this lesson when you’re picking at your “weaknesses.” If you’re shy in large groups, don’t sit around wishing you were more outgoing. Instead, appreciate that you’re really charismatic in one-on-one situations. Keep track of the hobbies, people, and activities that make you feel like your true self, and then seek them out more. 

      2. Use visualization
      Before first dates or big presentations, we often focus on the worst-case scenarios. Not just your-date-turned-out-to-be-a-serial-killer type of scenario, but the forget-the-entire-presentation or what-if-they-don’t-like-me kinds of scenarios. Instead, visualize yourself acing the presentation or enjoying the first date as the highest version of yourself. If you’re not sure what your highest self looks like, think about how you act in your most comfortable relationships. Are you goofy, vivacious, enthusiastic, kind, or thoughtful? What memory do you have where you did feel good about yourself? Visualize showing up as that person and the best-case outcome. You’ll not only feel more confident going into uncomfortable situations, but you’ll be more likely to achieve your highest self.

      Source: @simplytandya

      3. Practice empathy and positivity
      We’ve already established that confidence requires a change in internal mindset, not a change in outside validation. But if changing your mindset was as easy as flipping a switch, we’d all be confident. So the key to self-confidence? Empathy and positivity. Just like happiness, empathy and positivity are skills, not circumstances. When you work those muscles on other people and situations, you’ll start to feel empathy and positivity for yourself too. Work on positive thinking through gratitude journaling or exercises, and prioritize the glass-half-full mentality in all situations. See the good in other people (including celebrities, influencers, and frenemies–ex-boyfriends exempt from this list), and you’ll start to see more good in yourself too (guaranteed). 

      4. Accept compliments
      PSA: can we agree to stop downplaying when we receive a compliment!? Especially as women, we’re taught to be polite at our own expense. However, it’s just not true that putting ourselves down makes other people feel more comfortable. In fact, it typically makes people more uncomfortable, not to mention it’s hurting your confidence. When a coworker tells you that you nailed the presentation, don’t respond with “I couldn’t have done it without my team,” or “Really? I messed up the whole second half!” Say, “Thank you so much! I worked so hard and am so excited about how it turned out.”
      Likewise, when a friend compliments your hair, don’t say, “Ugh, I have such frizzy hair, I spent 45 minutes getting it to lay straight!” Instead, respond with a simple “Thank you!” and take a moment to internally feel good about yourself (why yes, my hair does look phenomenal. *Cues ***Flawless by Beyoncé*). If just saying “thank you” feels uncomfortable, feel free to give a compliment in return but stop downplaying the compliments you receive. 

      Source: @devyn.p.miller

      5. Be smart about social media
      It’s no secret that social media is a common confidence-suck. Being constantly bombarded by the pretty, filtered version of hundreds or thousands of other people’s lives is not exactly the best recipe to feel good about our own. We know that we only put our very best pictures, selfies, and sides for the world to see, while keeping “real life” (like messy kitchens, PMS tears, and stretch marks) offline. But somehow, it doesn’t always register that other people do the same. Do yourself a favor and mute or unfollow everyone on Instagram except a few select accounts that bring you inspiration, motivation, and happiness whenever you click through their feed or stories (like, IDK, @theeverygirl, just as a totally random example). 

      6. Change the words that follow “I am”
      Personally, my identity has been defined as a writer my whole life. Ever since elementary school, my love for writing was always the first thing teachers noticed about me. For 24 years, I put myself into categories of, “I’m a writer, and I’m creative,” but because of that identity, I also said, “I’m not good at business” or “I am not a math person.” I loaded up on English classes in college and didn’t take one business, finance, or economics class. I always took on the “creative and free-spirited” type of personality, and didn’t feel confident in any skills related to business or personal finance. 
      But when I became a grown-ass woman (AKA, like a few months ago, but it depends who you ask), I was over feeling like I wasn’t good with money and that creativity was all I had to offer the world. I started telling myself, “I am a businesswoman,” and, “I am smart with money.” It gave me the confidence to sign up for finance classes and start my own side business. The lesson here? Think about what stories you’ve been telling yourself about who you are, and then replace the words that follow “I am.”  Have you been telling yourself, “I am awkward,” “I am shy,” “I am ugly,” or “I am not good enough?” Change the words after “I am” to anything you want to be, and eventually, you’ll start to believe it. Fake it ’til you make it, you know?

      Source: @crystalinmarie

      7. Get outside yourself
      Listen, I’m not calling anyone self-centered in a negative way. As humans, we see reality through our own perspectives, and therefore, everything centers around the way we experience it. When you’re feeling a lack of confidence, it can be tempting to wallow in your feelings or vent to friends. While you should lean on the people who make you feel better, make sure to get outside yourself too. Ask other people questions more than you talk about yourself (and listen!), or volunteer for an organization that needs help.
      Not only will focusing on other people make you feel better about yourself (because nothing is more powerful than helping someone else), but you’ll also realize that other people don’t think about you the way you think they do. Other people are too caught up in their own problems to realize you’re a little awkward or have a breakout on your chin. One of the most important life hacks I’ve ever learned: you’ll stop feeling self-conscious the minute you turn your attention to helping someone else. 

      8. Do more things that make you uncomfortable
      Stepping outside your comfort zone is–you guessed it–uncomfortable, but it can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself. Try something new that you’re scared to try, whether it’s cooking a new type of food, attending a different workout class, or networking with people you’re typically too shy to reach out to. The good news is that you don’t have to be good at whatever new thing you’re doing in order to boost self-esteem. In fact, you probably won’t be good. The confidence comes when you keep showing up, even when you’re not good at it. It will teach you to feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations and accomplished in trying something new. 

      Source: @missenocha

      9. Keep promises to yourself
      We have a conception that “confidence” has to mean thinking highly of ourselves, which is not necessarily true. To break it down, confidence is actually a combination of both self-esteem and self-efficacy. Self-efficacy refers to the belief you have in yourself to accomplish something. In other words, to boost confidence, you must make and keep promises to yourself. If you want to eat more veggies or get to bed earlier, make a plan, and then follow through with it. Remember that there’s more on the line than leafy greens or getting enough sleep. Think of it like a friend; the more you can rely on them and trust them, the more you love and respect them. The same goes for the relationship you have with yourself. Eat what you say you will, get to bed when you say you will, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

      10. Cultivate the “eff it!” mentality
      Channel your inner Dua Lipa and just don’t care. Typically, I’m not a fan of IDGAF energy (I think caring about people is the most powerful thing we can do as human beings, even when it hurts), but when it comes to cultivating self-confidence, I’m an advocate. You see, sometimes you have to remind yourself that not everything is as big of a deal as you make it in your mind. You gained a few extra pounds–who cares? You’re shy meeting new people–big deal! The side business you want to launch might fail–so what? Doing something you want to do or being someone you want to be (while saying “screw you!” to insecurities) might be the absolute best thing you could ever do for yourself. Just as a reminder, don’t take everything so seriously; it’s just life! The point is to enjoy it. 

      What tips have helped improve your confidence? More

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      How to Improve Your Relationship When You’ve Been Stuck Together for Months

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      We’ve been staying at home for months now. Your boss is still accidentally hitting mute on Zoom, you failed at baking sourdough more times than you’ve succeeded, and your significant other forgot to unload the dishwasher again. For couples that live together or have chosen to quarantine together, the global pandemic doesn’t just mean severe anxiety and limited toilet paper. It also means facing a future of indefinite togetherness, lack of alone time, and maybe some fights that you never expected to have (like whose turn it is to disinfect the groceries).Quarantining couples are fighting more than ever, missing their alone time, or feeling anxious about fast-tracking their relationship. No one signs up for 24/7 togetherness when signing a lease or marriage certificate, and it’s normal to struggle with your relationship as you’re struggling with scary headlines and changing routines. However, it’s possible to not just survive staying at home together, but to enjoy it. Here’s how you can still improve your relationship, even if you’ve been stuck together for months.

      Reassess what’s working and what isn’t.
      Being stuck at home together is no longer uncharted territory that we’re all just trying to figure out. At this point, you’ve had enough experience to identify what’s working well (like dividing up chores or having weekly mental health check-ins), and what isn’t (like getting stir crazy or having the same fight about the dishes three times a week). Start with what has been going well in your relationships. Do you love playing Scrabble on Friday nights or feel supported when you’re stressed? Talk about what’s going well for both of you and the relationship. Then identify the areas that still need work and problem-solve together how to improve what hasn’t been working. 

      Source: @kayla_seah

      Switch up your routine
      If your evening routine is consistently eating takeout on the couch while watching Stranger Things, there’s nothing wrong with that (in fact, that sounds like my ideal night). However, try surprising your partner one night with dinner served at the dining room table (with candles, of course). Not only will switching it up help you get out of any ruts that come with the same routine every day for months, but doing something different might ignite a little extra spark. Planning a themed date night on the weekend, going on a hike together instead of working out in the living room, or even eating breakfast on the patio (instead of hunched over laptops) can make a huge difference. 

      Practice empathy for your partner
      If you are constantly bickering or get to the point where you can’t stand each other, this might be an enlightening time for some couples to reassess if this relationship is the right choice. However, if you are in it for the long haul and the extra bickering is only on account of stress and change in routine (not incompatibility), don’t worry. The fix could be as simple as practicing empathy.
      This is probably a weirder time than you anticipated when you were reciting vows or moving in together. Therefore, what you expect from your partner needs to change too. Be empathetic to the extra pressure they’re under (is their company suffering or were they furloughed?), and any anxiety they might be feeling from headlines or changes in routine. The greatest way you can grow stronger as a couple during a time like this is to better understand, relate to, and feel for each other.

      Source: @missalexlarosa

      Keep up your personal hobbies, and encourage your partner to keep up theirs
      While I’m embarrassed to declare Real Housewives of Beverly Hills as a “personal hobby,” it has always been my go-to when I need to turn my brain off on a lunch break or relax on a Sunday afternoon. My boyfriend knows when it’s RHOBH time to put in headphones if he’s working or do his own thing if he doesn’t feel like watching. This might be a sad example, but just because you’re spending 24/7 together doesn’t mean you should stop all the things you typically love doing. 
      Your significant other should encourage your hobbies, even if they don’t share your exact interests (and might be like mine where you notice his eyes are glued to the TV when Kyle and Lisa are fighting, even though he pretends he “doesn’t like reality TV”). Whether it’s the shows you watch, the books you read, or how you like to work out, keep up the things you love, and allow your partner the space and time to keep up theirs. Yes, relationships are about shared interests and compromises, but they’re also about giving each other the support to be who you really are. 

      Remember to celebrate milestones
      After four or five months of barely leaving the house, you might have experienced one (or both) of your birthdays in quarantine, and maybe even an anniversary has come and gone. Perhaps one of you graduated or got a promotion at work. Since it might feel easier to ignore anything that’s supposed to be “celebratory” (because it serves as a reminder of what you’re missing out on like birthday parties, anniversary trips, etc.), you might have glossed over or put little effort into celebrating. However, even if you’re grieving for what you thought 2020 would be like, it’s still important to make the most of it. Dress up for dinner at home, order takeout from your favorite fancy restaurant, and decorate the living room. Don’t just think of how to survive 2020; make your relationship better by making new memories. 

      Source: @raffinee

      Think of your relationship as a business
      So this might be the most unromantic relationship advice you’ve ever received, but hear me out. We often think love is supposed to be magically perfect, and two separate people are supposed to seamlessly combine their lives together (preferably with a romantic montage or public declaration of love, but that’s just me). And while many aspects of being in love with the right person should feel seamless and perfect, being stuck at home together for months doesn’t have to be one of them. 
      To navigate the changes and work through this new life together, both of you need to be open to accepting new responsibilities and helping each other in ways you didn’t have to before. Think of your partnership as you would think of a business: schedule regular meetings into the “team” calendar, divide up responsibilities based on what’s most effective, and consistently reflect on how you can be a better “coworker.” Remember that the goal is success (in this case, happiness in the relationship), not for you to be right or “win” an argument. Just limit your business-mindset to outside the bedroom, or else, you know, it could get weird. 

      Find a new activity to do together
      In a society where couples are starting podcasts and travel blogs together, you should have more than enough inspo and motivation to find a new activity you’ve never done together. It can be as simple as going on evening walks or doing a puzzle, or can be as time-consuming as learning a new language or starting a side business if you have the extra time to spend. The point is to find something you both are excited about, so you can spend quality time in a different and more meaningful way than you have in the past few months. Turn off Netflix, stop scrolling through Instagram, and try something new together.

      Source: @missenocha

      Make pleasure a priority 
      No, it’s not what you think. Hopefully, you already work on fulfilling intimacy with your partner (and if you’re not, click here or here), and it’s OK if the abundance of anxiety and loungewear has created a lull in your sex life (it’s normal!). What I mean instead is to make your pleasure (outside of the bedroom) a top priority. Start by basing decisions off of what would bring you more pleasure (like a warm bath versus a cold shower, or a slow yoga flow versus a sweaty dance workout). Also, take time to pamper yourself (turn on a playlist and dry brush), and don’t forget to check yourself out in the mirror (because you know you look good!).
      Why is this good for your relationship, you might ask? Living for the sake of pleasure (instead of just checking items off of a to-do list) will make you happier and feel more fulfilled. It might reduce stress or help you stop depending on your partner for happiness. Therefore, fights could be easier to solve or prevent, and you might enjoy your time together more. Oh, and if you want to talk about sex life specifically, it will help that too. Just as a bonus, no one can resist a confident, happy woman (just see for yourself).

      What habits or tricks have been helping improve your relationship while being stuck at home together? More

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      These Free, 10-Minute Workouts Are Perfect for Days When You’re Short on Time

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      “Petting as many dogs as humanely possible” is one of my most significant life goals.I’ve never met a dog that I didn’t like. I am the CEO of stopping on the Chicago Lakefront mid-run to pet all of the good doggos that proudly and happily trot past me. While I’m not in a place to own a dog of my own, this small fact does not stop me from getting my canine fix any time the opportunity presents itself.
      It has become very important for me to streamline my life to allow for as much time to provide belly rubs and compliments to dogs as possible. It is crucial to me that no matter what I accomplish in life, I never lose sight of prioritizing activities that I love most. Maybe for you, that joy comes from cooking, hanging out with family/friends, reading, watching Netflix, pouring a large glass of wine, or journaling. Regardless of what gets your heart pumping, I think we can all agree that making more time for the things we love is a good thing.
      So on days where I’m slammed with work, drowning in laundry, or itching to prioritize the petting of the dogs, I simply don’t have time to head to my gym and spend an hour on the treadmill (note: I have never actually spent one whole hour on a treadmill). I have always been a firm believer that quality is better than quantity (in this case, quantity being the amount of time spent working out) and have found that doing an effective, 10-minute workout is better than doing nothing at all. On the days where you don’t have time or are just looking for a quick way to move, these 13 free 10-minute workouts will have your back:

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      What are your favorite ways to workout at home? Let us know in the comments below! More

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      I’m Not a Morning Person—This Is the Evening Routine That Helps Me Keep It Together

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      If you were to ask any of my friends about me, I’d like to think that they’d have a lot of nice things to say. They might describe me as friendly, laid-back, and down for a good time. They may mention that I am in a committed relationship with McDonald’s chicken nuggets. They might label me as a “good listener” or a “good friend.” They might give accolades to my ability to send highly relatable memes to their DMs at any point in the day. One thing they most definitely wouldn’t say about me? That I am a morning person.I have a reputation amongst my friends and family to prioritize sleeping in over most things in life. I have an affinity for hitting my snooze button anywhere from four to nine times a morning (I wish that was an exaggeration). If you speak to me before my morning coffee, there’s a 99 percent chance that what you said did not register. No matter how many tips and tricks that I’ve tried in my efforts to become a morning person, I just can’t hang before 10am. At this point, I’ve come to accept who I am: a night owl who would rather get shit done in the evening than during the morning. 
      PSA: You don’t have to be a morning person to live a healthy, productive life. I’ve felt guilty for “failing” at morning routines for far too long, but after curating an evening routine that fits my peak energy time and makes me feel like a superhero, I’d like to argue that night owls are just as badass as the humans who work out, clean, meal prep, meditate, and do a 57-step skincare routine before they log on for work. The early bird gets the worm, but the worm that sleeps in doesn’t get eaten, am I right?
      Here are the eight habits that have made my evenings productive and have helped me to embrace the fact that I am, in fact, a night owl:

      1. Work out right after work
      I truly cannot count the number of times that I’ve set my alarm two hours early to workout and decided, in the early hours of the morning, that REM sleep is cooler than squats. I’ve found that, as with most things, my workouts are most productive after a workday when I’ve used the day to hydrate and I’ve consumed at least two meals. While the idea of a late-night workout excites me, I try to exercise before dinner so that it’s easier for me to wind down afterward. Right now, I’ll do an at-home workout or go for a one to three-mile run, and I’ll opt to work out outside so that I can get some fresh air.

      2. Listen to a podcast while cooking dinner
      I used to hate cooking until stay-at-home orders hit. When I realized that I simply could not afford using Grubhub or Doordash every night, I bought Tieghan Gerard’s Half Baked Harvest Super Simple Cookbook to turn my life around. For dinner, I grab my fav glass of vino, pick a recipe to whip up, and listen to my favorite podcast. Typically I’ll opt for a recipe that I can cook for one and save for dinner for the next few days. Dinner: done. Meal prep: done. Getting the pop culture tea: done.

      3. Tidy up my living space
      The dinnertime productivity hack that absolutely changed my life is making an effort to clean up my kitchen messes as I’m cooking. It sounds so simple, but as we all have experienced at one point or another, there’s nothing worse than staring at dirty cookware and dishes after eating and slipping into a food coma. Tidying up as I go makes doing the remaining dishes after dinner so much more tolerable. After rinsing my remaining dishes and popping them into the dishwasher, I do a quick tidy-up of the rest of my living space (I save deep cleaning for the weekend when I have more time to do that sort of thing).

      4. Take a relaxing bath
      Why has it taken me so long to get on board with taking baths? My bath time is my me time, and those 30 minutes help me to wind down after power cleaning. Am I sweating from bending over to pick up all of my clutter from my last outfit crisis? Probably. Should I get that checked out by a doctor or, at the very least, up my cardio game? Also, probably. While I’m soaking, I like to call a friend, read an excerpt from my latest and greatest book obsession, or catch up on my IG feed. I light my favorite candle, dim the lights, and play some Mumford & Sons radio to set the mood.

      5. Plan out tomorrow’s outfit
      Somewhere along the way on my journey from third grade to adulthood, I lost sight of the easiest and most rewarding task of all—laying out tomorrow’s outfit. If and when I snooze my alarm and subsequently oversleep, I need all of the extra time that I can get.Enduring an 8am clothes crisis and settling on an outfit that I feel *blah* in is not the move. In my pursuit to work from home and not lose my mind, I’ve found it helpful to make sure that I’m changing out of my morning pajamas into something cute and casual to signal to my brain that it’s time to get to work.

      6. Prep my morning coffee
      Of all the responsibilities that are knocking on my door at the time of my alarm interrupting my dreams of being married to Zac Efron, my highest priority of all is coffee. I like to streamline my coffee routine ahead of time so that everything is neatly out and ready for me to get espresso in my body as soon as humanely possible. At night, I’ll pop my Nespresso capsule into my Nespresso machine, make sure that the water is filled to the brim, and line up my mixings (oat milk, vanilla, and cinnamon) for easy morning access. 

      6. Make a to-do list for tomorrow
      I am forever an offender of adding things to my to-do list that I’ve already completed so that I can give myself credit for completing tasks. After I’m squeaky clean and pick out my outfit for the morning, I make myself a herbal tea, I snuggle into bed, and reach for my journal that sits on my nightstand. My journal is my life and is a compilation of random article pitches that I think of at 4am, blurbs talking smack about someone who hurt my feelings, and to-do lists that somehow never fully get checked off. Regardless, making my to-do list helps me to focus in the simultaneous whirlwind and brain fog of the morning. I prioritize mindless tasks to be completed first to boost my confidence and schedule more tasking responsibilities for the afternoon when my productivity levels are highest.

      8. Do something that brings me joy
      I’ve been trying really hard to limit screen time before bed, so I’ve been opting for other blue-light-free activities that bring me joy to end the evening. On a normal day, I’ll turn off the lights with the exception of the faint glow of my bedside lamp, and I’ll either revisit my Kindle, journal about my day, or doodle until my eyelids become heavy. When I feel myself daydreaming then dazing, I know it’s time to call it a night. I set my typical morning alarms (yes, plural) and tuck myself in, knowing that I am leaving a productive day behind.

      Would you consider yourself a morning person or a night owl? When do you find that you’re your best, most productive self? More

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      How 12 Experts Are Staying Their Healthiest While Staying at Home

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      I don’t know about you, but since the stay-at-home order started months ago, I’ve been moving my body less and eating more frozen pizza than I have in years. Even though 2020 has looked a lot different than we all thought it would when making health goals back in January, the well-being of our bodies shouldn’t just be a priority when we can go to juice cafes and workout studios. In fact, prioritizing health might even be more important during a scary and uncertain time. For some much-needed inspo, I asked my favorite nutritionists, trainers, and wellness entrepreneurs how they’re taking care of their bodies while staying at home. 
      1. Les Alfred, Personal Trainer, Nutrition Coach, and Host of the Balanced Black Girl Podcast
      Source: @balancedles

      “While spending so much more time at home, mental health check-ins and daily exercise are non-negotiables. For my daily mental health check-in, I’ll spend some time journaling and reflecting on how I’m feeling. My emotions have ranged from optimistic and hopeful to lonely and unsure of what the future holds. Creating space to feel while honoring all of my feelings has been incredibly helpful. I also move my body every day. Some of my favorite ways to move at home include Sun Salutations each morning, short dumbbell or bodyweight workouts during my lunch break to keep my energy up for the afternoon, and early evening walks to relieve stress before winding down for the night.” 
      Listen to the Balanced Black Girl Podcast and follow her on Instagram here. 

      2. Melissa Wood-Tepperberg, Founder of The MWH Method
      Source: @melissawoodhealth

      “Prioritizing my practice of meditation and mindful movement is what keeps me sane through anything that comes my way. Even taking just two minutes to yourself makes such a massive impact toward shifting your mood. I do this through my method of movement to sculpt beautiful, long lean lines throughout the entire body through precise, low-impact movements.”
      Try a seven-day free trial of the MWH Method and follow her on Instagram here. 

      3. Berrion Berry, Period Educator and Founder of The Flo Academy
      Source: @berrionlberry

      “My hottest tip for staying healthy while safe at home is to focus on the breath. I do a three-minute breathwork exercise every morning, then again just after lunch, and again right as I end my day. I’ve found that it allows me to remain aligned and grounded. Breathwork is extremely helpful for managing both stress and anxiety. Oh, and the song I like to breathe to is called Deeper by Sion. The power of breath is so underrated, but I love it! And it helps with period pain too (can’t forget to mention that!).”
      Join The Flo Academy and follow her on Instagram here. 

      4. May Zhu, MBA, RD, LDN, and Founder of Nutrition Happens
      Source: @nutritionhappens

      “Maximize the benefits from the leafy greens you’re eating by rotating different varieties from week to week. This will add more nutrition diversity in terms of vitamins and minerals. For example, if you chose spinach this week, maybe go for arugula or chard the next. I love doing this because it also helps me get out of a kitchen rut when I feel uninspired. If there’s a leafy green you haven’t tried, now is a great time to try it in a new recipe. Also, I love walks on days when I’m feeling something more low impact. I’ll take a walk either before or after dinner to get fresh air. Several studies support that even 10 minutes of brisk walking can improve our moods.
      I’ve been working from home for a few years now, and I’m always working on work time boundaries. One thing that has helped me set up the post-work environment to transition out of the workday is to light a candle after I finish work to set the tone for the night. Lately, I love candles from The Koop New York and Dear Sunday Co, which are both Black-owned businesses that I adore!”
      Check out Nutrition Happens and follow her on Instagram here. 

      5. Valerie Agyeman, RD, Women’s Health Dietitian, and Founder of Flourish Heights
      Source: Flourish Heights

      “I’ve been stretching more! A few weeks ago, I realized I was sitting all day on a sofa or an office chair, which hasn’t been the best for my posture. So lately, I’ve been trying different stretches throughout the day, both indoors and outdoors. It helps keep my mind and body calm and at ease.”
      Check out Flourish Heights and follow her on Instagram here. 

      Source: @danielleduboise

      “I’m focused on enjoying the little things that make me happy, whether it’s spending time with my husband and daughter or taking some time to move my body every day (I’m currently obsessed with Fit Pregnancy Club online classes). I’ve also been trying to keep my routine as normal as possible by eating plenty of leafy greens and adding Sakara Beauty Water Drops to my water first thing every morning.”
      Shop Sakara, listen to The Sakara Life Podcast, and follow her on Instagram here. 

      Source: @whitneytingle

      “I’m using this extra time to focus on nourishing my body with Sakara meals 3-5 days a week and regularly eating my go-to snack, Sakara Detox Super Bars. I try to dedicate at least 20 minutes a day for some sort of movement, whether it’s taking a walk or doing an online class. I’ve been really into Melissa Wood Health and Caravan Wellness, and I just added The Bloom Method, which is for pregnant mamas. I also try to spend some time each day filling my brain with information that helps inspire me to be more creative. I’ve been loving podcasts like The Doctor’s Farmacy, On Being, Esther Perel, and the Goop Podcast.”
      Shop Sakara, listen to The Sakara Life Podcast, and follow her on Instagram here. 

      8. Ingrid S. Clay, Celebrity Fitness Trainer and Plant-Based Chef
      Source: @ingridsclay

      “I’ve been working out every day! I do 30 minutes of cardio on an empty stomach first thing in the morning. I also always tell clients to not buy junk food (so it’s not in the house) and to only eat when hungry.”
      Book a meal plan or class pack and follow her on Instagram here. 

      9. Serena Poon, CN, CHC, CHN, Nutritionist, Reiki Master, and Founder of Culinary Alchemy
      Source: Serena Loves

      “Stay super hydrated! Drink at least 75 percent of your weight in ounces of water. Hydration is key for your entire organ system to function optimally. Also, eat the rainbow; make sure your meals and snacks throughout the day include a variety of fresh, whole produce that spans the colors of the rainbow. By doing this, you are taking in a multitude of vitamins and minerals in the most bioavailable form. Always opt for nutrient-dense meals, smoothies, juices, or broth, packed with tons of vitamins, minerals, fiber and nutrients over anything that is processed.
      Finally, connect with nature. Talk a walk, sit in the sun, open up the windows, or play in the water if you are near the ocean or a lake. Take off your shoes and stand in the grass. Do a little gardening or water your plants. Do something every day that reminds you that there is something much greater than us, the earth is healing, and whatever is happening right now will heal and pass.”
      Book a nutrition program or reiki session, download a free E-book, and follow her on Instagram here. 

      10. Mona Dan, LAc., MTOM, Herbalist, Acupuncturist and Founder of Vie Healing

      “I sit outside under direct sunlight for at least 20-30 minutes. It gives me a chance to reset and relax but also sweat a little while soaking in some vitamin D. After that, I take a hot shower and gently scrub with bath salts. I also make sure to include fresh fruits and veggies in my meals to take in lots of vitamins and minerals to keep my immunity up.”
      Shop Vie Healing and follow her on Instagram here. 

      Source: @laurengores

      “I’ve been moving my body every day, which has proven to be the most incredible medicine for me, internally and externally. Some days I have time for an hour-long workout, and other days, it’s a 15-minute yoga flow with my toddler crawling on top of me. But it’s the movement that matters, and I think it’s been key to my health and well-being during this time. Also, I’ve been doing a lot of face masking with our Summer Fridays Jet Lag Mask to make me look a lot less sleepy than I feel.”
      Shop Summer Fridays and follow her on Instagram here. 

      12. Sahara Rose, Ayurveda Consultant, Best-Selling Author, and Host of The Higher Self Podcast
      Source: @iamsahararose

      “Every day, I ask myself what I can do for my body, mind, and spirit. For my body, I love to do a barre workout followed by some yoga (especially hip openers since we are sitting so much more). For my mind, I love to read spiritual books and do some writing for my next book, Discover Your Dharma. For my spirit, I am obsessed with doing what I call “Goddess Breathwork,” which consists of deep inhales and exhales while doing cat-cows with your spine. It completely relaxes the body, so it’s easy to drop into a meditation! I feel so energized, refreshed, and in alignment with these practices. Often, I’ll break out into a spontaneous dance party because I feel so good!”
      Read Eat Feel Fresh, take the quiz to find your dosha, and follow her on Instagram here.

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      Making These 9 Simple Changes Totally Transformed My Body (and Mind)

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      OK, fine, I’ll say it: I’m a huge nerd. I’m the girl in the office who brings a Ziploc bag of adaptogens and collagen for an afternoon superfood latte, I spend all of my free time researching ancient medical practices, and I’ve recently become a certified health coach out of sheer passion for helping other women get healthier too (#shamelessplug). Call it nerdy or call it extra, but health has always been my thing. However, when it comes to my body, health hasn’t always been so simple.Yes, I love to eat well and have tested lots of expert nutrition advice over the years, but I can’t resist a good truffle mac ‘n’ cheese and I never say no to a glass of red wine. Restriction has never been my forte, which has caused a lot of guilt over the years (after all, wasn’t I the “healthy” girl?). Accidental weight fluctuations came (as they naturally do), through transitioning in and out of college years, and, while I’ve always prided myself on being self-confident, I could never escape the occasional distress over a fat roll or a patch of cellulite.
      Over the past couple of years, my life changed drastically (like moving to Los Angeles), and with it, my body did too. Today, I feel in touch with my body and what it needs. The right changes made my skin clear up, my digestion improve, my confidence skyrocket, and my anxiety decrease. Sound like another “miracle” diet? Think again. After a lot of trial and error throughout my life, these nine changes made the greatest impact on my body (and mind): 

      1. Not labeling foods as “good” or “bad”
      Everything we eat has been predefined by our culture. “Sugar is bad for you,” “Whole30 is good for you,” or “I was so bad last week when I was on vacation” are all phrases you’ve probably heard too many times to count. Putting a moral value on food choices may not seem like a big deal. In fact, maybe you feel like it’s a helpful way to narrow down options (I certainly did!). However, when we put black and white labels on food, what’s meant to nourish us becomes associated with guilt. Plus, the “want-what-we-can’t-have” mentality is not just true for bad boys; it’s true for food too, leading to cravings, binges, and serious regret. 
      I have so many thoughts on labeled eating, but for the sake of not going on and on (because I can), I’ll say this: food is meant to be nourishing, satisfying, and pleasurable. I was over food plaguing my will to live and meals that were more like an internal battle than an act as natural as breathing. Getting rid of labels helped me listen to what my body needed to eat, not what I should or shouldn’t eat. And guess what? I started craving fresh vegetables and whole grains, stopped bingeing on late-night snacks, and was able to feel satisfied after a cookie or one slice of pizza because I listened to my body’s cues. 

      2. Working out less
      Yes, you read that right; working out less transformed my body for the better. Let me explain: I grew up as a competitive dancer (I wish it was as cool as Dance Moms, but I was never even half as good as Maddie Ziegler), which meant I was used to daily, intense exercise. When I went away to college, I attended regular workout classes (thinking it might counteract the limitless cafeteria food or slapping the bag at frat parties, I guess?). Fast-forward to 2020: I have a much better relationship with working out and have been exercising for the mental benefits instead of calorie burn (but more on that below!). However, if I could not make it to an hour-long class one day, I wouldn’t exercise at all, since anything else felt pointless.
      When the stay-at-home order hit and my precious gyms and yoga studios closed, I had limited motivation and a lot of anxiety. As a fix, I got more into restorative yoga and would go through flows for 15, 20, or 30 minutes instead of my usual hour-long classes. My new form of movement did not involve weights, fancy machines, or heart-rate monitors. Instead, I went on more walks, took deep breaths during yoga flows (instead of exasperating myself with intense cardio), and started to think every movement made a difference (rather than thinking it has to be an hour long to be worth it). The difference? I’m stronger than I have ever been because I’m prioritizing consistency over length or even quality, and I’m more intuitive to when and what my body needs. 

      Source: Felicia Lasala for The Everygirl

      3. Realizing that there is no “secret”
      Every season brings a new “weight loss pill,” “magic supplement,” or “miracle diet” that promises to be the cure-all to health woes and weight management. If you feel overwhelmed by what you should and shouldn’t try in the wellness space, that’s not on accident. In order to sell you on limitless products and programs, you have to feel like your health is not in your control. I’ve tried popular diets, regularly tested new supplements, and have always been a follower of the latest workout trend, but what I’ve been missing is the big picture. The truth is that one change won’t transform your body, mind, or life. Instead, it’s a bunch of little habits that build up into greater changes. Also, the body is not a one-size-fits-all pair of socks. What works for one person may not work for you, and vice versa. The only “secret” applicable to everybody is to listen to your body. 

      4. Adding instead of subtracting
      In my humble opinion, the problem with any diet is that it’s focused on what not to eat, which reinstates the labels of “good” and “bad.” One of the greatest changes that made the most difference in my eating habits is learning about food. When I knew about the nutrients and benefits that come from whole foods and plants (rather than just knowing they were “good”), I started seeing food as medicine and fuel, rather than just seeing it as a reward (like when I had an intense craving for mac ‘n’ cheese) or an enemy (like when I felt guilt for bingeing on said mac ‘n’ cheese). Focusing on eating more plants and whole foods has not only helped me feel my best and crave fruits and vegetables, but it has also subconsciously crowded out processed and sugary foods (totally guilt-free!). 

      5. Eating fruit for breakfast
      Pre-transformation Josie was obsessed with protein. I had heard protein was the secret for toning muscles, so of course, breakfast always had to mean eggs or two scoops of the protein powder du jour (relevant side-note: as a lifelong vegetarian, getting enough protein was my downfall anyways). When I started thinking about how to add more produce, I tried eating more fruit in the mornings. After a while, I realized eating fruit surprisingly filled me up without making me lethargic or painfully bloated like I usually felt by noon.
      So I let go of the idea that I needed a protein-heavy breakfast and instead listened to what my body craved: fruit. Some days, I dress up berries and pears with nut butter, coconut shreds, and goji berries like the pillar of health that I strive to be, and other days, I’ll cut up whatever fruits are in my fridge. I’ve never felt so energized, had less digestive issues (which have unfortunately always been a problem for me), and even have fewer cravings throughout the day. The lesson here is not that you should eat fruit for breakfast too. Instead, the lesson is to listen to your body instead of outside opinions. 

      6. Enjoying healthy habits for reasons that have nothing to do with weight loss
      You might be thinking around this point that this article is just a body-positive message, and maybe even a commentary on diet culture, but it’s not a concrete list of ways to reach your body and health goals. But honestly and truly, after years of testing out different diets, workout methods, and “healthy” habits, nothing changed until everything clicked at once. The changes started happening when I was enjoying healthy habits (for both the mind and body), rather than thinking I had to do them in order to look a certain way. This is not woo-hoo self-help advice; being healthy for benefits like mental health and energy is what made the most drastic changes in my body (oh, and it was actually sustainable). 

      7. Drinking more water
      Drinking more water is a tale as old as time, but there’s a reason just about every expert on the planet recommends it. Drinking a big glass of water first thing when waking up, sipping on a reusable straw throughout the day (I’m partial to these pretty gold ones), and having three drinks at a time to achieve optimal hydration (like lemon water and green juice with my coffee), has made a drastic difference in how my body feels. If I start getting hungry too soon after eating, rather than going straight to the pantry to mindlessly snack, I drink a big glass of water. Of course, if I’m still hungry afterward, I’ll eat something nourishing (the body knows what it needs), but more often than not, I’ve realized that a lot of hunger cues are actually thirst. 

      Source: Iron + Honey for The Everygirl

      8. Prioritizing sleep
      Yet another mistake pre-transformation Josie made: every Thursday morning during my senior year of college, I would wake up when it was still dark out and go to a 6am spin class. Yes, even after Wine Wednesday (imagine!). I often abided by the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mentality, which often meant staying out late while still fitting in a workout when I could (AKA the crack of dawn). It’s not that going to an early morning workout class is bad (it’s not!). But I chose working out over getting enough sleep, thinking it was the better option for me. These days, if I have to choose between a workout and getting 7-8 hours of sleep, you know what I choose? Sleep. Every time. 
      Don’t take my word for it. Even celebrity trainer, Anna Kaiser (who counts Karlie Kloss and Shakira as clients—’nuf said), told The Cut, “If you’ve only been sleeping five or six hours and can either sleep an extra hour or work out, sleep an extra hour. If not, you’re running your body down, which will affect your energy. Working out harder or better or eating less isn’t the answer. It’s about getting enough sleep.” 

      9. Changing what “dream bod” or “goal weight” means to me
      Now for the biggest truth bomb of all: if you’re struggling to reach your health goals, perhaps the problem is not what you are or are not doing, but what your health goals are to begin with. On social media, we’re bombarded with hashtags like #fitspo and #dreambod, and often build health goals around a certain pants size or number on a scale. But those extra five, ten, fifteen, twenty pounds is where life happens. That’s the extra glass of wine with your best friend, the ice cream cone at the beach in the middle of summer, your favorite chocolate cake from the bakery down the road that tastes like the one your mom used to make. Why are we so focused on shrinking these moments, demoting them to be worth nothing more than a pants size or a fat roll?
      Instead, I’m letting my body exist in the healthy space it wants to be in. My “ideal weight” or “ideal body” is the one that yes, I feel most strong, energized, and healthy in, but also that allows me the extra indulgences, fun moments, and enjoyment. Above all, being a health coach has taught me that “health” is not a destination or a final accomplishment. Rather, it’s a tool we can use to help us live our happiest lives. Otherwise, what’s the point?  

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      13 Wellness Trends to Try From Home

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      So your barre studio is closed, the local health food store has limited stock, and you’re lacking motivation to cook anything that doesn’t come from a box or the frozen section. Just because this year looks a little different than you thought it would when you made your New Year’s resolutions, it doesn’t mean you can’t still be working towards your health goals and achieving your best self. With scary headlines and a stay-at-home order, 2020 also brought wellness trends less focused on buzzwords and more focused on actual self-care. Here are 13 of them that you can try at home:
      1. A tech detox
      A juice detox is so last year (or, like, 2010… does anybody think foregoing food for multiple days is a good idea anymore?). In 2020, it’s all about the technology detox. Whether this means keeping your phone at the bottom of your beach bag for the entirety of a pool day or turning off Netflix for an afternoon of reading or painting, designate a specific amount of time to go tech-free. Try an entire day every week (yes, Instagram can wait!), or just an hour tech-free before bed. Read a book, sip some tea, and enjoy the freedom of not having your phone as a fifth limb, 24/7. 
      If you find it difficult to designate a specific amount of time to go tech-free, designate a space in your home. Whether it’s your kitchen table, bedroom, or meditation corner, setting tech-free rules for your space helps set expectations and guidelines. A designated tech-free area can help you remember to put away phones during meals or to turn off Netflix before bed.

      Source: @crystalinmarie

      2. Intuitive eating
      Luckily for our fridges (and our sanity), “dieting” is officially a bad word. Rather than labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and driving ourselves crazy with guilt, we’re eating intuitively. That’s right: restrictive diets and calorie counting are canceled. Instead, tune in to your body to feed it what it needs (and when it needs), and don’t worry so much about outside rules, recommendations, and regulations.
      Intuitive eating can help you not only take control of your eating habits, but can help you know your body better and become your healthiest self. When you’re eating, step away from the laptop, turn off the TV, and notice the smells and tastes of the food. Take time to thoroughly chew and enjoy, feeling thankful for the nourishment you’re receiving. Notice how your body is feeling and stop when you’re no longer hungry. 

      3. Body hair (and identifying what’s best for you)
      Emily Ratajkowski sported body hair in a sexy editorial shoot, Miley Cyrus notoriously dyes her armpit hair, and even Vogue ruled the bush is back. For decades, women’s bodies have been expected to be completely hairless everywhere, all over, and all the time. But we are mammals, and more importantly, humans, and humans have body hair. Humans also have different preferences, so while some of us feel best with the smoothness of just-shaved legs and a freshly waxed bikini line, others of us prefer to grow it all out, and that’s OK.
      Whether you feel better with hair, your waxing salon is closed, or you just don’t give a damn (because there are more important things to worry about than leg hair), experiment with what level of body hair makes you feel most confident. If you feel best without hair (or without hair in certain parts and grown out hair in others), check out our guide to removing body hair. And if you’re enjoying the freedom of not having to worry about hair removal and feel sexier or more badass with body hair, then let it rage. 

      Source: @lolaomonaija

      4. Ayurvedic rituals (and other ancient practices)
      OK, let me nerd out for a sec. I have been obsessed with Ayurveda, one of the world’s oldest systems of medicine, since I wrote my college thesis on it (back in the good old days) and even saw an Ayurvedic practitioner. The system was developed over 3,000 years ago in India and is still widely practiced all over the world today. I know I’m a nerd, but how cool is that!? Imagine my delight when ancient rituals like tongue-scraping,  adaptogens, palo santo burning, and oil pulling started to become a part of mainstream media over the past couple of years. Practices that have been around for centuries are officially “trending” in the 2020 wellness space. 
      I love this “trend” because we have so much to learn about our own bodies through looking at practices in other cultures, time periods, and belief systems. To try some of these ancient practices at home, don’t just do it because your favorite wellness blogger says so. Read up on the history, benefits, and beliefs behind each of the rituals; talk about them with your doctor, and be your own guinea pig. 

      5. CBD for relaxation 
      We’ve talked about CBD for your beauty routine and have tried it in everything from candles to sunburn relief. But this year, we’re focused on how CBD can be used to boost relaxation and soothe anxiety (because 2020 is the year of constant anxiety). CBD can be used for many different purposes, but it has a reputation for its calming effects, delivered in easy and accessible ways. Check out our favorite products of all time, and try incorporating the buzziest wellness ingredient into your routine in whatever way is best for you, whether it’s a bath bomb, a lotion, or ingestible drops. 

      Equilibria
      Balance Box

      Use code “theeverygirl” for 20% off your first order!

      Equilibria
      CBD Bath Bombs

      Use code “theeverygirl” for 20% off your first order!

      Source: @jahirka

      6. Period tracking
      Staying at home 24/7 means you’re probably spending a lot more time bingeing Netflix, cleaning out your junk drawer, and teaching yourself more TikTok dances than you care to admit. Why not spend a little of your extra time getting to know your reproductive system better? The latest trend in menstrual health is not just holistic gynecology or non-toxic tampons (although both are great!), but tracking your cycle to find out what foods, workouts, and lifestyle tips are best for your body during each phase.
      To learn more, check out seven things every woman should know about her period and download a period-tracking app like MyFlo that gives you information about each day of your cycle. While we’re on the subject, having a period does not have to be a weakness; besides the fact that we can, you know, grow a freaking human being, women can use period tracking as a biohack to achieve better productivity. That goes for your work-from-home schedule, too. 

      7. Red light therapy
      Dubbed “the fountain of youth” by Glamour Magazine, red light therapy has been popping up everywhere from dermatologist offices to fitness centers. Joanna Vargas, celebrity facialist and Everygirl editor girl-crush, told Shape Magazine, “Red light therapy speeds the healing of the body, reduces inflammation, and helps hydration levels in the skin.” Luckily for 2020, this buzzy wellness trend is not just for expensive spas or wellness retreats. The latest products offer benefits of red light therapy from home (which is good since even wrinkles and low back pain isn’t worth risking your or other people’s safety). Try it for yourself with at-home devices that are more effective and affordable than ever.

      8. A tech-focused approach to fitness
      When you’re not detoxing from tech, technology can actually be used for good. Since going on a run can get boring and going to a yoga studio isn’t possible (or safe), technology has been trending in the fitness world. For regular class-goers, fitness apps and online subscriptions (like Everygirl-favorite, obé fitness) provide an alternative to studios, and equipment like The Mirror and Peloton bike bring the fun of workout classes to the comfort of your home (even if they’re out of my price range).
      Besides just alternatives to classes, technology can help you make the most out of your workouts too. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, technology (such as the Fitbit and Apple Watch) was the most popular form of wearable devices in 2019, and in 2020, they’re being used to motivate and monitor at-home exercise. Look out for virtual reality and even smarter fitness equipment making its way into your at-home fitness routine in the future. 

      Source: @theplussizedprep

      9. Mental health is #1 priority
      The past few months have been a wake-up call for several reasons, but one of the biggest was where we’re not prioritizing mental health. Self-care has been trending for years when it comes to face masks and bubble baths, but this year, sh*t got real, and we were all forced to prioritize self-care in the ways that are best for us and will actually help us feel better. Maybe you’ve taken action by prioritizing yourself or booking a session with a therapist, or maybe you’re still struggling like many of us are.
      Staying safe at home doesn’t have to be an excuse for not getting the help you need; many therapists are offering sessions over Zoom, and apps like Talkspace are revolutionizing virtual therapy. Check out resources to find a therapist for you, like BetterHelp, Dr. on Demand, and Therapy for Black Girls, or ask your therapist to schedule a virtual session. Besides getting honest about what you need to soothe stress and anxiety, bring your mental health into everything you do: perfect work-life balance, eat mindfully, and work out to release stress instead of burning calories. 

      10. Beauty that’s good for you (and the earth)
      Health is no longer just about what you put in your body, but also what you put on it. Not only are more non-toxic skincare and makeup brands popping up in the beauty space, but the brands we’ve been shopping for years are adding cleaner options to their offerings (clean beauty is the way of the future). The biggest benefit is that beauty products are not only stopping the use of harmful ingredients, but replacing with natural ingredients that are good for your skin and hair (like a concealer or lipstick with hydrating jojoba oil). Bonus: it’s much better for the earth too.
      To begin your quest towards a cleaner beauty routine, check out clean brands we love, read up on 10 experts’ clean beauty hacks, and shop our favorite non-toxic sunscreens. If it feels overwhelming to go totally clean, try replacing each product you run out of with a non-toxic, sustainable, and ethically-sourced alternative. Bonus points for buying from a small business! 

      Source: @missenocha

      11. Prioritizing pleasure
      2020 is the year of the “pleasure revolution,” and we could not be more excited about it (literally). Female sexuality is no longer a taboo subject; it’s self-care. To prioritize your sexuality, educate yourself, take time to experiment, and read our ultimate self-isolation guide to masturbation. Oh, and pleasure is not just reserved for the bedroom; it’s about living your life more pleasurably. Start by basing decisions off of what would bring you more pleasure (like a warm bath versus a cold shower, or a slow yoga flow versus a sweaty dance workout). Also, take extra time to pamper yourself (turn on a playlist and dry brush or massage in body oil), and don’t forget to check yourself out in the mirror (because you know you look good). 

      12. Biohacking your water
      Kool-Aid is so last decade. This summer, wellness influencers and health experts are making the most of their drink of choice (AKA some good old-fashioned water) with add-ins that are packed with nutrients. Turn any glass of water or reusable bottle (#ecofriendly) into a refreshing drink that not only hydrates you, but fills your body with antioxidants, electrolytes, or vitamins. Just watch out for high-sugar content and make sure the ingredients are as clean and natural as possible. PS check out newcomer Tandem, which uses ingredients like beetroot, turmeric, and ginger. Now that’s my kind of summer drink! 

      13. Inclusivity in wellness
      A necessary change in the wellness industry is way overdue, and it’s time all of us do what we can to promote more diversity in the health and wellness space. Practice inclusivity at home by educating yourself, supporting businesses that promote diversity (yes, that goes for your local yoga studio and favorite athleticwear brand), purchasing Black-owned brands, following Women of Color who are nutritionists, influencers, and wellness experts on social media; and supporting, donating, and attending resources for/from Women of Color (like Loom, Brown Girl Self-Care, The Loveland Foundation, and Dive in Well). 

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      11 Ways to Break Bad Habits That You Haven’t Tried Yet

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      Our brains are just like computers (or like the iPhone 11, for all the other millennials out there). All iPhones, and all people, have some “coding” that may not be beneficial. For iPhones and computers, this looks like a glitch in the system. For humans, this looks like bad habits. Luckily, we can rewire the brain to code a little differently and break bad habits, no matter how programmed they are into our routines.Breaking bad habits, like that caffeine addiction, constant scrolling through Instagram, staying up too late, complaining too much, or procrastinating at work, can not only make your life better, but will build confidence and form good habits. Read on for 11 ways to break out of negative routines that you probably haven’t tried yet:

      1. Keep track
      The first step in breaking a habit is increasing your awareness. Maybe you know that you mindlessly check Instagram throughout the day, but you’re not sure exactly how much you’re scrolling or when you’re reaching for your phone out of habit. Maybe you know you need to quit drinking soda but are not sure how many cans you’re sipping on throughout the day.
      Without judging, start keeping track of the bad habit. Try recording each can of soda you drink or have your phone track how many times you check Instagram every day. Plus, sometimes setting measurable goals can help make changes. When you know you hit the snooze button three times before getting up, you can set a goal to hit “snooze” only twice by the next week, and use baby steps to reach the final goal (AKA not hitting “snooze” at all). 

      2. Identify the trigger and then replace the habit
      To stop the habit, identify the trigger. For example, maybe you reach for a piece of candy every afternoon like clockwork. Is it a sweet tooth craving? Keep a stash of dark chocolate so you always have a better option on hand. Is it stress? Take a five-minute break and do something relaxing instead of eating the candy. Is it exhaustion? Take a walk around the block to get more energy. Get curious about why (and when) your bad habit is happening, so you can either avoid the trigger or replace the habit with something better for you. 

      Source: @mylittlebooktique

      3. Trick yourself into changing habits “temporarily”
      There’s a reason going vegan for 22 days worked for Beyoncé; the program is based on the fact that it takes 21 days to form a habit. The key to this trickery is that you’re telling yourself that you only have to stop a bad habit (or keep up a good habit) for a certain amount of time. You’re not telling yourself to stop forever, and therefore, it feels much more doable than making drastic and lifelong changes. For a real-life example, mornings have notoriously been hard for me. A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to get a better handle on my mornings and thought that making my bed would be a good place to start (it only took 24 years, but I finally became a real adult).
      I made a goal to make the bed for 21 days straight. Sure, I could’ve returned to my same slob-kebab ways after the few weeks were up, but by that point, making the bed was already a habit. Of course, the goal was always permanent change, but staying focused on a short-term accomplishment helped me keep the routine, while I was simultaneously building habits that were better than the sleeping-in-until-the-last-second-possible habit that I had going for me before. And if this strategy is good enough for Beyoncé, it’s good enough for me. 

      4. Leave reminders where you’ll see them
      Sometimes we keep up bad habits because they’re hard to break, and other times we keep up bad habits because we don’t to remember to stop. If you want to stop mindlessly scrolling on Instagram, make your iPhone wallpaper a note that reminds you not to open the ‘gram every time you reach for your phone out of habit. If you want to stop snacking (when you’re not even hungry), leave a sticky note on the fridge or pantry door to remind you to drink some water instead. Whether you need a subtle nudge or an obnoxious reminder (my habits typically require the latter), use phone alarms, sticky notes, or signs to ensure you can’t act on the bad habit without seeing the reminder. 

      Source: @ambrasbrice

      5. Get yourself an accountability buddy
      So you’ve heard that working out with a friend will get you to work out more often, or that planning to eat healthier with your significant other will make you more successful. But when it comes to any habit, we sometimes need more than just ourselves to be accountable. If you want to break your caffeine addiction, ask your work wife if she would be down to do the same, or at least help you limit your daily cups of coffee. Knowing she’ll check in with you or see you drinking another espresso during a Zoom meeting will help motivate you to go for green tea instead.
      PS, I speak from personal experience when I say there is nothing more motivating than knowing an entire social media following (no matter how big or small) knows you’re trying to break a habit. If there’s not one specific person you can ask to be your accountability buddy, post about your goals on social media, or text about it in your group chats. Just knowing other people are aware of your bad habit will help you break it. 

      6. Make unrelated good decisions
      “Confidence” is the ability to keep promises to yourself. Mind-blow, right? Whether or not that lesson shook your world like it did mine when I first heard it, we often keep up with bad habits because we’re not confident or proud in other areas of our lives. We think, I already skipped my workout today, so why not order a pizza for dinner?, or Since my day is ruined from staying up late and watching Netflix, I’ll work on my side hustle another day instead.
      These theoretical debacles may sound silly, but how many times have a couple of bad choices in your life snowballed into more bad choices? Making good choices (even unrelated to the bad habit) will not only make you feel proud of yourself, but will make you feel confident enough to overcome whatever bad habit is holding you back. Likewise, every time you replace any negative routine with a better action, you’re keeping promises you made to yourself, and therefore, building self-confidence. 

      7. Start fresh regularly
      When you skip a workout, binge bad foods, stay up too late, or scroll through Instagram too long, it doesn’t make you bad; it makes you human. Habits are harder to break when we expect perfection. Any slip-up or “bad day” doesn’t mean you failed or are back at the beginning; it’s a normal part of the habit-breaking process. Get rid of the all-or-nothing mindset that one slip-up erases the progress you made previously. Give yourself a clean slate every day, every hour, or even every minute if you need to remind yourself that one unhealthy choice doesn’t negate all the other healthy choices. Rather than focusing on the goal of breaking the bad habit, remind yourself that anytime you just do more of what’s good for you, you’re on the right track. 

      Source: @missalexlarosa

      8. Use visualization
      Breaking bad habits is not just a physical, action-oriented process. After all, a goal needs to be more than just words on paper or an idealistic outcome. You have to see it to make it mean something. If you’re working on bad spending habits, don’t just picture yourself without the money issues, but visualize how your life would be different with more money. With any habit, visualize how getting rid of the bad habit would change your life. Will you have more time to start your side hustle or more money to feel financially stable? Will you feel more well-rested and energized to be able to accomplish the big project at work, or will you feel happier with less stress and anxiety?
      Also, change your identity surrounding the bad habit. If you keep hitting snooze, maybe you think of yourself as lazy, or a night owl instead of a morning person. Instead, start telling yourself that you are a morning person and that you do wake up energized and active. To use one of my favorite quotes, visualize your best self, and then start showing up as her. 

      9. When you realize you’re making excuses, do more
      One of the most valuable pieces of advice that I received when it came to my mediation practice is that on the days where you find yourself saying, “I have no time to meditate today,” then meditate for twice as long. We makes excuses when there’s no immediate reward and wants to stay with what’s comfortable. So if you find yourself saying, “I’ve had a really stressful day and need this Diet Coke,” that’s when you really need to drink extra water instead. If you’re telling yourself not to work out because your favorite leggings are in the laundry, add an extra five minutes to your usual workout time. Excuses are just stopping you from breaking bad habits, so counteract the excuse with even more motivation.
      Quick side note: when trying to break a bad habit, excuses are more common than reasons (“It’s a stressful day, so I’ll stop drinking coffee tomorrow instead,” is an excuse). However, if you listen to your body and decide that it’s feeling too depleted to do an afternoon workout and a relaxing bath would be better for you, that’s a genuine reason, not an excuse. You won’t be able to instill good habits if you’re not intuitive with what your body wants and needs, so learn to decipher between reasons and excuses. 

      Source: @theyusufs

      10. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you
      You’ve probably heard the saying that you’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with (and yes, that includes your competitive coworker or judgmental frenemy). If you’re trying to eat healthier but your friends don’t know kale from spinach, or if you want to go to bed earlier but your roommate keeps telling you to stay up later to finish the second season of The Politician, breaking these habits are going to be tough.
      Your environment matters more than almost any other factor when it comes to habits, and the people in your life are what form the environment. Even if you can’t break up with the people who share your bad habit, spend more time with people who have habits you want to adopt. Ask the coworker who goes on morning runs to get a juice before work, or ask your sister what book she’s reading if she always reads before bed instead of watching TV. If your environment isn’t setting you up for success, reinvent it. 

      11. Remember the “why”
      Sure, we all have goals we want to accomplish, but we often focus on the surface-level goal, rather than the end goal. For example, you might say your goal is “to go to the gym more.” But why do you want to go to the gym more? Is it to feel stronger, live a long and healthy life, or feel more confident in yourself? Those are much more motivating goals than simply going to the gym. The same goes for habit-breaking too. Why do you want to stop drinking coffee, stress eating, or being late? Identify your reason and remind yourself of the end goal every time you’re tempted to fall back into old patterns. 

      What bad habits would you like to break? Which tips have helped you? More