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      I Have Social Anxiety–These Tips Help Me Actually Enjoy Holiday Parties

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      Watch any Hallmark Christmas movie and you’ll see a winter wonderland filled with family and friends, baking cookies, holiday shopping, and a lot of celebration. While I’m fully on board with festive movie marathons and indulging in the traditions that come with the holiday season, there is one part of it that peaks my anxiety: holiday parties. 
      Between the office holiday party, annual family get-together, Friendsmas potluck, and white elephant exchange, it can feel like every weekend is committed to a social gathering. As an introvert with social anxiety, it’s hard to keep up with the constant holiday celebrations, but I’ve learned to prepare for such events in a way that I can enjoy the night and check my anxiety at the door. Ahead, the tips I keep in my back pocket to help me get through holiday parties with ease.

      1. Meditate
      Social anxiety doesn’t just occur at social events. It usually arrives well before the party has even begun, which is why it’s important to set yourself up for success ahead of time. My getting-ready routine not only involves a good playlist and make-up tutorial, but also setting aside some time to meditate before heading out. Meditation is already a part of my daily routine, but on a night when I’m attending a big event that I know will trigger my anxiety, I’ll add a 10-20 minute guided meditation sesh (through either the Unplug or Superhuman app) beforehand to help calm my nerves and get me in the right headspace. Just by prioritizing meditation, I can walk out the door feeling ready to socialize with confidence. 

      2. Practice an affirmation
      Affirmations often go hand-in-hand with meditation practices, but I find they’re also particularly helpful on their own to repeat to yourself during situations that may cause anxiety. The benefits come from repeating the word or phrase over and over again, which creates a focal point to align yourself in the present moment. You can create your own affirmations specific to the situations that cause you social anxiety or you can try some more general sayings, like “I am a friendly person,” “I am confident,” “I enjoy meeting new people,” and “I am relaxed in social situations.” Practicing an affirmation before or during a social event can be a great aid in working through any social anxiety that may arise. 

      3. Bring a friend
      Experiencing any mental health struggles can be especially difficult during this season, but the good news is you don’t have to go it alone. Despite the common perception that we have to face our struggles around anxiety on our own, having friends by my side who understand my anxiety has made it much easier for me to navigate social events. If there’s a party I don’t feel comfortable going to alone, I bring a friend. If simply the idea of attending a social event solo causes anxiety, bring someone you trust and who can be your support system throughout the night as your plus one. You just might find yourself so wrapped up in the holiday spirit that you forget why you were even anxious about attending the event in the first place.

      4. Have a plan
      For me, the lead-up to any event is when my anxiety creeps up. My mind often races between thoughts like, “What if I have no one to talk to?” and “What if I get stuck seated next to someone I don’t know?” I obsess over what time to arrive, what to wear, who is attending, and what will happen at the event. It can become so overwhelming that oftentimes it feels easier to just not attend at all. But over the years, I’ve learned not to let my anxiety get in the way of having fun, because yes, holiday parties can be a lot of fun!  You just have to be mentally prepared with a game plan.
      Anxiety takes over when you feel a lack of control, so for starters, I think of every social anxiety-inducing situation that could happen at the party and come up with a plan. One might be standing alone and not feeling comfortable joining a conversation. In that case, make your way to a space you feel comfortable in and that will make it easier for you to socialize, like the bar/food area or even the bathroom (a lot of people love to socialize in restrooms of restaurants, bars, etc.). You can even have some questions in the back of your mind to ask people if you feel stuck, such as “What are your plans for the holidays?” 

      5. Congratulate yourself
      Living with social anxiety can feel like an ongoing battle. Sometimes you don’t know when or how it will arise. So when you do have to face it, whether at a holiday party or a work dinner, it’s important to remember that just leaving the house is a win. Congratulate yourself for putting on that LBD and spending a couple of hours in a social situation that may make you want to run home and crawl into bed. Try making a list of all the little wins you had that evening, and remember them the next time you are attending a social event. We often forget to stop and take note of what we’ve accomplished, which includes surviving social anxiety during the holiday season.

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      Some Experts Say Birth Order Can Explain Your Personality–Is it True?

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      If you’re the DJ Tanner or Marsha Brady of the family, chances are you’re the responsible leader of the pack. But if you identify with Stephanie Tanner or Jan Brady and assume the role of the middle child, you likely get lost in the shuffle and keep the peace. Then, there are the Michelle Tanners of the world (AKA the baby of the clan) who are the outgoing charmers (“You got it, dude!”). These assumptions are all based on the birth order theory that says the order in which you were born dictates your personality traits. Is there any truth to it? Could it be the answer to why siblings are so different? I sought out Michele Goldman, a psychologist and advisor for Hope for Depression Research Foundation, to get the breakdown of the birth order theory, what it says about each sibling, and why some people may not fit its framework. 

      Meet the expert
      Michele Goldman, Psy.D
      Psychologist
      Michele Goldman is a clinical psychologist specializing in trauma, relational patterns, anxiety, and depression. She also serves as the media advisor for Hope for Depression Research Foundation.

      In this article

      What is the birth order theory?
      Developed in the 1900s by psychotherapist Alfred Adler, birth order theory suggests that the sequence in which a child is born within their family—from first born to the youngest and every position in between—shapes their thoughts and behaviors. For example, the firstborn typically portrays the characteristics of being an achiever and reliable. Goldman made an important distinction between chronological and psychological birth order: “Chronological birth order is the literal order in which siblings are born,” she conveyed. “Psychological birth order is the birth order that someone might encompass, even if they were not born in that placement within the family.”
      According to Adler’s theory, children are not born with inherent qualities, but rather their family environments and dynamics play a role in influencing individual psychology during their formative years. While every family is different, Adler believed there were many similarities between the interactions of parents and children as well as between siblings. So does birth order really impact personality? The short answer is it’s up for debate. Some studies have shown that Adler was onto something when it comes to the attributes of first children, but more research is needed to get the full picture. Ahead, what the birth order theory says about your family standing. 

      The breakdown of each birth order

      Firstborn
      According to the birth order theory, the oldest child holds a highly advantageous position because they are used to being the sole recipient of attention for a period of time–therefore, first children may struggle when needing to share attention once siblings are born. The firstborn will often have a great amount of responsibility once younger siblings come into the picture. They might face stricter parenting and higher expectations, which typically leads to strong leadership and high-achieving qualities.

      Middle Child
      “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!” Jan Brady’s famous cry says it all. If you fit the middle-child trope, you oftentimes will feel left out or unimportant. Middles are often skilled at carving out a place for themselves and they might even be creative in how to be seen within the family unit. While they are rather skilled at compromising, the middle child can also be competitive when overshadowed by an older sibling and sometimes unruly or rebellious. Neither overwhelmed with great responsibility (like firsts) nor overindulged (like the youngest), middle children most likely develop into successful adults.

      Youngest Child
      It’s no surprise that the attention-seeking, can-do-no-wrong baby of the family tends to be overindulged by all in the family. What the youngest does in response to being overindulged impacts how they move through the world. Some youngest children will believe they are to be taken care of and may lack the internal drive to excel and the confidence to manage tasks successfully. However, other youngest children may appreciate being taken care of and want to take care of others, becoming respected as the “go-to” in the family.  

      Only Child
      Because the only child tends to be more familiar with adults than with other children, even if highly socialized with peers, they may be more rigid. Only children can be both highly successful and dependent upon their parents, as their parents are solely focused on the their success and achievement. Prone to be stubborn because they’re not used to being flexible or negotiating with others, the only child is also independent, able to fill their time with productive outlets, and intelligent. 

      Why you may not fit the birth order theory
      Of course, there are exceptions to the rule where the birth order patterns don’t necessarily hold true. Goldman cited the most common reasons: 

      Large age gap between the children 
      Adler considered a large age gap to be three years, but most researchers now define it as five or more years, which was influenced by siblings being in different schools after five years. “In US schooling systems, after 5th grade, one sibling will go to middle school while the younger child is left behind in elementary, thus leading ‘separate’ lives,” Goldman explained. “If we have a five or more years difference, the child might be third in chronological birth order but becomes a psychological firstborn because the other two siblings are much older.” In other words, the child may exhibit firstborn tendencies even though they came third in line because of the large age gap.

      Health of a child 
      A child with any health obstacles, no matter where they fall in birth order, can affect the psychological birth order position of their sibling(s). “If an oldest child is frequently ill or has a chronic condition (either physical or mental health), they might become the psychological ‘baby’ of the family because the focus is always on nurturing them and caring for them,” Goldman clarified. “This shifts attention off of the chronological baby, and the baby will take on another birth order position.” 

      Twins 
      To put it simply, Goldman stated that twins complicate birth order, and how birth order is impacted is dependent on whether the twins are the only children in the family or have other siblings. “Twins will typically not be raised according to chronological birth order, especially if they are only a few minutes apart, but psychological birth order might still form over time,” Goldman clarified. 

      Beliefs about gender 
      The engrained beliefs about gender by both the culture and other family members can also affect the birth order theory. “Even if a female is the oldest, a male child might be treated as a firstborn because of the cultural emphasis on males,” Goldman described. “This also might be seen in a family of five boys and the youngest is a girl; that girl might be treated as a stereotypical baby or as a psychological firstborn.”

      Blended families 
      When a family structure is affected by remarriage, psychological birth order will likely change, especially when the children are in their formative years. Goldman gave an example: “[When] a chronological oldest who has a well-formed personality in the family is blended with step-siblings where they now have someone older than them, this can influence their perceived psychological birth order and influence how they feel about themselves and others.” In the same vein, the two firstborns in the newly-formed family will search for their “place” and may compete to keep their firstborn standing.

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      6 Ways To Cope With the Holidays When You’re Sad

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      The most wonderful time of year is filled with joy and celebration—for most of us. However, there are many people who experience the opposite set of emotions during the holiday season. If you are someone who is dealing with loss, difficult family dynamics, heartbreak, or spending the holidays alone, it can be a harsh reminder of what you’re missing.
      As isolating as it might feel to be surrounded by people who are in a cheery mood (both online and in person), you are not alone if you’re struggling. The holiday blues can start as early as November 1 for many people. But rest assured, it is still possible to enjoy the holiday season with the help of these six coping strategies:

      Don’t compare yourself to others
      Comparing yourself to others is never a good idea—online or in real life. But remember that comparison is the thief of joy, so making a conscious effort to avoid the comparison game this season will go a long way. If you find yourself feeling sad or envious that you don’t have what others have this season (whether that’s money to spend on gifts, a big family to spend the season with, or a significant other to take mistletoe pictures with), take a step back for a few days. This could look like not attending a party where all of your friends will be with their significant others or simply logging off of social media for a few days.

      Start a new tradition
      Traditions don’t have to be decades old; you can start new traditions any time you want! And the holidays are the perfect time to do so. Between choosing a new tradition, planning it, and involving others (or not!), you can have a lot of fun—and distract yourself from any sadness you may be feeling about other parts of your life. There are countless new traditions that you can start with family members, friends, your significant other, or solo. Some of our favorites include starting a holiday book club, having a movie marathon, and doing a cookie swap.

      Give back
      Studies show that giving can boost your physical and mental health, and during the holidays, there are various volunteering opportunities that you can get involved with. Some of our favorite things to do to give back are volunteering at a soup kitchen, adopting families for groceries or gift-giving, donating to a food bank, participating in a Giving Tree, and donating warm clothing. Choose whichever community project or organization that feels close to your heart, and set your sights on how you can make a difference in other people’s lives through volunteering. You can even make it a tradition to do it every year, too!

      Plan something to look forward to
      If the only thing you’re counting down to is the first day you get back to work after the holidays, consider this your sign to plan something way more exciting than that to look forward to! Whether you want to plan something during the holiday season or after (or both!) is up to you, but having something to be excited about either way will boost your spirits. Can we suggest a solo spa day, a staycation, or a shopping trip with your girlfriends?

      Set boundaries
      Setting boundaries can help you manage any further sadness and stress this holiday season. To do this, start by identifying your needs and/or any triggers you anticipate, and create a plan to have boundaries around them to protect your peace. For example, if you recently went through a breakup and don’t want to get into the details with anyone or think about it at all (we don’t blame you!), make sure you let the people in your life know that you will not be discussing it—especially during this season. Decide what your boundaries need to be, and communicate them clearly to prevent spiraling into deeper sadness.

      Seek support
      A support system is crucial no matter what time of year it is or how you are feeling, but it is especially beneficial when you are feeling your worst. Make sure you have someone you feel comfortable talking to whether they are a family member, your best friend, or a mental health professional, and rely on them throughout the season. If those closest to you don’t know that you need additional support at this time, consider opening up to them about what you’re going through so they can be there for you.

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      7 Tips for Having Meaningful Conversations That Go Beyond “How Are You?”

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      Every conversation is an opportunity to cultivate real, human connections—whether that’s by nurturing existing relationships or creating new ones—and having meaningful conversations can help us process and learn from our individual experiences, together.  
      But still, it can be hard to go beyond the standard, “How are you?” Often, “How are you?” can feel like an overwhelming question. So, we say, “Good!” or “Hanging in there,” because how we’re really doing either feels like too much to unpack or too heavy to share with someone else.
      It can be even harder when the person we’re talking to has differing opinions on the social and political issues happening around us. Often we find ourselves talking at each other, against each other, or over each other, and not with each other. In these moments, we miss the chance to learn from people who challenge our assumptions; conversations that encourage us to reflect on our existing perceptions, create new ideas, and progress mentally. So, why do we have such a hard time having conversations that make us feel more connected, fulfilled, and ultimately, happier?
      It’s helpful to think of conversations as a microcosm of a relationship. There needs to be a give and take in the sense that both parties are teaching and learning, talking, and listening. And like a relationship, a good conversation creates an environment where both people feel respected and safe to voice their thoughts. This trust establishes a strong foundation for the conversation to build around. The good news is that most people want to connect on a deeper level. Here are a few tips to help you do just that.

      1. Start with curiosity
      Whether it’s with your friends, family, Bumble date, or Uber driver, every conversation is an invitation to learn something. Curiosity keeps us engaged in the conversation. Not only that, but we learn faster and remember more when we actually want to learn it. It’s pretty likely that the person you’re talking to knows something you don’t, whether it’s about an experience you’re having, a place you’ve always wanted to visit, or something they saw on the news. So if you don’t know something, ask. If someone mentions something you want to learn more about, ask. If someone has a different opinion than yours, ask questions to help you find out why. Curiosity pushes the conversation beyond surface-level small talk and helps us feel closer to the person with whom we’re speaking.

      2. Avoid self-fulfilling questions 
      We tend to ask questions that push our own expectations and bias onto others. When we ask, “Did that make you mad?” or “Were you happy?” we will likely get a “yes” or “no” answer. Instead, asking, “How did that make you feel?” invites the other person to steer the conversation without judgment and to answer without fear of criticism. 
      Wording questions more open-endedly also encourages the other person to process what they are experiencing and how they are feeling on a deeper level. You can expect to get more complex, surprising, and illuminating answers this way, which helps you better understand and can help the conversation go deeper than a “yes” or a “no.”

      3. Let go
      Not every thought that drifts into your head needs a mic. Sometimes, it’s better to let thoughts pass without saying them out loud. Don’t stop listening to or interrupt the other person because you want to make sure you don’t forget to share a clever comment or story. Make sure to let the other person fully finish speaking—and if what you wanted to say is no longer relevant or doesn’t contribute to pushing the conversation further, then let it go. 

      4. Practice empathy
      Empathy is the capacity to set aside your own biases and to understand someone else’s feelings based on that person’s own unique experiences, perspective, and frame of mind. In order to empathize, it’s important to acknowledge that we are all biased and that actively working to keep it in check is a lifelong commitment. When listening with empathy, you’re making an active decision to understand someone else’s opinions and values without criticism. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with what they are saying, but you are respecting their right to voice it and be heard.

      5. Remember: Their struggles are not your own
      If someone is talking about struggling with work, family, a relationship, or anything else, don’t use it as an opportunity to talk about that ex you broke up with five years ago. While it may seem like you are comforting someone by sharing your own semi-related story, this can make people feel overlooked and like you have made their struggle about you. Your experience is not the same—it is not about you. 
      If you have a habit of jumping in with your own story, next time, make a conscious effort to stay quiet until the other person is done talking, and take this time to truly listen. If at this point you still feel like you can shed some insight on their experience, let them know that you went through something similar and leave it up to them to decide if they want to hear your story.

      6. Be honest
      Speaking your own truth can be hard to do when the other person has differing values and opinions. However, being able to express your authentic opinions and, in turn, have them challenged is where a lot of the learning and growth happens in a deeper conversation. To speak candidly and respectfully, here are some things to keep in mind:

      Letting people know that you hear and understand their viewpoints helps assure them that you are coming from a place of honesty and respect.
      Don’t step onto a soapbox. Speak to people directly and not at them. A good conversation begins and ends on the same level. One opinion is not superior to the other, and the goal is to both grow and learn together. 
      Speak calmly and with purpose. Ask yourself what you are trying to say and what the best way to convey it might be. If you need to take a moment to think about this, pause. Silence during a conversation offers the space to reflect on what’s been said and taking the time to be authentic benefits everyone in the conversation. People want to know the real you so that they can show you their real self as well. 

      7. Be present
      It’s easy to let our minds wander during a conversation, whether it’s thinking about the million things on your to-do list or that snarky email your boss sent. Yet, if your mind is elsewhere, you won’t fully pay attention to the conversation. Remember that the other person’s time is just as valuable as yours, so give them your undivided attention. This means more than just tucking your phone away and keeping eye contact. To really listen is a practice in mindfulness:

      Don’t worry about what you’re going to say next. If you’re waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can say what you’re thinking, you aren’t paying attention. Instead, focus on what they are trying to communicate to you and where they are coming from.
      React less and reflect more. It’s natural to have knee-jerk reactions to things people say. However, in order to fully understand what someone is saying, we need to give them the floor to explain—and sometimes figure out—their thoughts. So before you jump to a conclusion, reflect on why and how that person came to form their values and opinions. And if you don’t know, ask questions to help you understand.

      Conversations have the power to remind us that we are seen, heard, and valued. The way we listen and talk to one another can impact how we move forward as both individuals and a community. And when we are present and show up for each other, conversations will be what bring us together.

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      The Simple (Yet Game-Changing) Practice That Could Transform Your Period

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      It’s day one of your period and–like clockwork–the bloating, cramps, and mood swings kick in. But gone are the days you’d suffer through said symptoms, just willing them to give you a break. We’re no longer accepting the narrative that we have to suffer, or that periods are inherently bad; instead, we know we can make dietary and lifestyle changes to balance your hormones, support your body’s natural cycles, and feel your best. So when cramps come on, you can sync to your cycle by loading up on protein and healthy fats and focusing on restorative, gentle movements throughout the day.
      But can we be doing more to support the body during our period, and help ease the pain and annoyances caused by it? Enter: mindfulness. We tap into the practice to help get us through the day-to-day, and it should be no different with our periods. To get the full picture, I looked to Tanya Ambrose and Emily Brown, experts for holistic period care line, rhythm. Read on for their tips on how to use mindfulness in each phase of your menstrual cycle to boost your ability to go with the flow (literally).

      Meet the expert
      Tanya Ambrose
      Public Health Expert and Doula
      Tanya Ambrose is a reproductive health specialist. She is also the founder and CEO of Scrub Life Cares, a nonprofit organization dedicated to promoting menstrual and reproductive health for women in underserved communities.

      Meet the expert
      Emily Brown
      Hormone Expert and Functional Nutritionist
      Emily Brown is an integrative and functional nutrition practitioner and epigenetic expert. She is also the founder of Genetic Garden.

      What does mindfulness have to do with your period?
      So you’re eating and working out according to each stage of your period, or maybe you’ve switched to cute period panties or given seed cycling a go. So why add another element to your monthly cycle? “Being more mindful of your menstruation is vital because your hormone levels change throughout your cycle,” Ambrose recommended. “Mindfulness is a way to honor your body’s needs during the different phases. Mindfulness practices such as meditation and breathing exercises help restore balance to your body, which will help alleviate pain and your mental attitude.” In other words, being aware of your body and everything you experience—the good, the bad, and the ugly—throughout your cycle gives you more agency over it.
      On the flip side, not being conscious of your body’s ever-changing needs (which can also change hourly, daily, yearly, BTW) can wreak havoc on your body: “When we are out of sync with our bodies, we might push it too hard physically, emotionally, and mentally, resulting in hormonal and biochemistry imbalances (hello, insomnia, constant irritability, and adrenal fatigue),” Brown explained. 
       

      How to incorporate mindfulness for each phase of the cycle:

      Menstrual phase
      Your hormones are at their lowest, which means your energy levels leave much to be desired and your bed never looked more enticing. Allow your brain to rest and reflect. However, you may notice communication between your feelings side and analytical side is at an all-time high. So listen and honor your intuition, go inward, and chill the F out. Practice meditation, nurture yourself, and pile on the self-care. 
      During this phase, work towards creating a journaling habit. Try jotting down something significant that has occurred in your life or documenting how you feel about specific areas in your life (think: relationships, career, mental health) and what you can do to improve them. Finally, list out and reflect on 3-5 things you’re grateful for. 

      Follicular phase
      You probably feel like a whole new person as your period ends and you start to get your energy back. Although progesterone and testosterone levels are very low, your hormones are signaling to your brain to provide an open door for new things, beginnings, and creativity. Ask yourself what you want out of life and get creative when setting your intentions. If you’ve been itching to try out a different workout or check out the hip, new restaurant that just opened up nearby, you couldn’t ask for a better time! Lose yourself in a book or pop in your AirPods to tune into an inspiring and motivating podcast.

      Ovulation phase
      Your brain’s verbal and social centers are highly stimulated. Translation: Explore your communication abilities (be open and honest), work on relationships with others, and ask yourself who you can reach out to that would benefit from a deeper connection, whether they’re part of your work or inner circle. Go out and socialize, but keep in mind that it’s important to be intentional about who you connect with during this phase. Consider spending time with those closest to you who bring out the best in you. And when you do link up with others, live in the moment.

      Luteal phase
      Welcome to the [insert your name] show. That’s right—this phase is all about you. Take care of yourself and do more of what feels right for you. Go ahead and binge-watch your favorite guilty pleasure show (Selling Sunset, anyone?), run a warm bath, read a book, or have a glass of wine, if that’s what speaks to you. Better yet, do them all! The key is to be consistent with loving yourself.
      Your brain is at its peak when it comes to handling tasks and being detail-oriented. Take advantage of this stage by completing tasks and other projects you’ve been working on. Be prepared to set firm boundaries and learn to say “no,” speak up more, and pour into yourself. And just as the uterus sheds its lining during the week of your period, it’s time to release anything that’s no longer serving you, whether it be a job, people, habits, or beliefs.

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      An Ayurvedic Expert Recommends These Tips To Reduce Anxiety This Season

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      Whether your family has practiced it your whole life or you’ve dabbled in a little tongue scraping here and a little yoga there, most of us have at least heard of Ayurveda. The ancient natural system of medicine (dating back more than 5,000 years) is a holistic mind-body-spirit approach to health and wellbeing, providing tools to live your best life physically, mentally, and spiritually. Consider it the OG of wellness practices. Based on the foundation that each person has a unique combination of the three Ayurvedic doshas (AKA health types or energy patterns)—vata, pitta, and kapha—the goal of Ayurveda is to strike the right balance of each element to achieve optimal health.
      If you’ve been feeling sad, scattered, or more anxious than usual, Ayurveda has an answer for that too. Fall is considered to be vata season, and is known as a time of heightened anxiety since vata is most susceptible to the ups and downs of life. The good news? Shrankhla Holecek, an ayurvedic expert and Founder of UMA Oils, let us in on Ayurvedic anxiety tips that can help reduce stress holistically—through diet, exercise, and transformative self-care rituals. It’s time to restore.  

      Meet the expert
      Shrankhla Holecek
      Ayurvedic Expert and Founder of UMA Oils
      Raised in India, Shrankhla Holecek has been immersed in the knowledge and cultural traditions of Ayurveda and holistic medicine since birth. As world-renowned expert on Ayurveda, organic skin care, and holistic health, she has been interviewed and featured in dozens of multimedia platforms. In 2016, Holecek founded UMA Oils, a luxury Ayurvedic skincare company.

      1. Maintain a daily schedule
      A change in season calls for updated routines to maintain balance and alignment with nature. And because vata‘s stability can be offset by disorganized scheduling and lack of sleep, Holecek suggested penciling in extra downtime and getting solid Zzzs. Not getting optimal sleep is known to affect mood and emotional health, which may worsen anxiety, after all. So you know the drill: Follow a consistent sleep schedule, get eight hours of sleep, and establish a wind-down routine. “Rubbing your feet with oil at night, especially one infused with relaxation-inducing botanicals, can support your body and make the day to night transition more seamless, setting you up for a night of uninterrupted rest,” Holecek said. 
      As for your morning routine, try out various practices to identify what your body is craving right now. From meditating and tongue scraping to drinking warm lemon water and dry brushing, there are many Ayurvedic rituals that are beneficial for morning time. However, adding too much to your daily routine all at once can cause more stress than anything, so start slow. No matter how you choose to spend the beginning of your day, being in tune with your mind and body is key. For example, if you feel most energized and motivated in the early afternoon, don’t force yourself to get in a workout or check off difficult tasks. Wake up slowly, fit in some time for enjoyment, and save your workouts and difficult tasks for the afternoon. 
       
      2. Get some sun
      According to Holecek, getting some sunlight can help keep your stress levels in check. The bad news: With fewer hours of daylight and cloudy forecasts (read: less sun exposure) on top of vata‘s characteristics, we’re more prone to anxiety in the fall and winter. Ayurveda to the rescue. The system of medicine also offers a daily schedule, or when to do certain activities based on energies throughout the day. Especially in fall or winter, it is recommended to wake up with the sun for more time to get exposure to sunlight. So resist the urge to snooze when your alarm goes off, and get sunlight within an hour after waking up. 
      Still not convinced? Soaking in the sun’s rays has been found to increase the calming and mood-boosting hormone serotonin and can help you get the best sleep of your life. Bottom line: Treat your mind and body to more sunlight on the reg, whether that looks like walking around the block, downward-dogging at the park, or sipping your warm lemon water outside. 
       

      3. Move your body
      With the transition to colder weather comes changes in the body, and for good reason. “Ayurveda honors change—internally within ourselves and externally within in our environment,” Holecek said. “This time of year shares many qualities that distinguish Vata: cold, dry, rough, mobile.” To balance out Vata‘s energy, stick with light, calm, and heat-generating exercises, like hot yoga, Pilates, or brisk walking. Getting your heart pumping changes your brain chemistry, increasing anti-anxiety neurochemicals, like serotonin. 
      “Regular, gentle exercise controls the movable character of Vata,” Holecek explained. “Include basic seated forward-folds like Paschimottanasana (Seated Forward Bend) in your practice. To increase strength and stability, try experimenting with standing positions like Virabhadrasana II (Warrior Pose II).” As always, pay attention to your body’s cues, and lean on restorative poses or stretching if you’re feeling worn out or overstimulated.
       
      4. Switch up your diet
      Heads up: Only hot PSLs are welcome. With the cold, dry vata vibes, shifting our eating habits to primarily warm, grounding foods and drinks and in-season produce is ideal. We’ve all heard the saying, “Food is medicine,” and eating seasonally takes it a step further by creating a greater sense of harmony and balance with our environment. The result? It can help us be more adaptable to change and practice mindfulness, which counteracts rumination and worrying (more on that to come). “Lean toward oily, moist, and smooth foods,” Holecek recommended. “Add healthy fats and oils to dishes, such as avocado, coconut, olives, buttermilk, cheese, eggs, whole milk, nuts, seeds, berries, melons, squash, zucchini, and yogurt.” Reach for cooked whole grains, root vegetables (think: sweet potatoes, carrots, and turnips), and hearty soups. Save the cold foods, iced bevvies, and dry snacks for the summertime. 
      Also, don’t pass on the digestion and mental health-enhancing effects of Ayurvedic herbs. “Adaptogenic herbs like Ashwagandha and Brahmi are particularly helpful in Vata season as they help balance an overactive mind and empower the body’s natural stress management responses,” Holecek said. Add them to baked goods, oatmeal, or your morning cup of coffee. Lastly, taking notes from hack #1, set a consistent time for your breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and avoid heavy meals at dinner to prevent disruptions in your sleep patterns.  
       
      5. Practice mindfulness
      In our fast-paced, hustle culture, we’re either going full speed ahead or on autopilot. So how do we focus our attention on present experiences and become more aware of our sensations, thoughts, and feelings without judgment? “Joy and calmness happen when you turn your attention away from problems and instead concentrate on tangible things that you can experience with your senses (sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste),” Holecek said. In other words, mindfulness aids in reducing anxiety and depression by teaching us how to respond to stress with awareness of what is happening in the present moment.
      Aside from breathing exercises, meditation, and movement, Holecek pointed to warm oils to help bring us back to the present moment. “Oils can be powerful allies in supporting your mindfulness practice through the olfactory and transdermal benefits of their powerful ingredients. A tactile element such as aroma can be a wonderful reminder of your commitment to remain grounded and balanced throughout the day.” Keep essential oils on hand throughout the day for a quick sniff or rub on temples to bring little moments of mindfulness into your day.

      6. Listen to your skin
      It’s time to layer more than just our clothing. This time of year, the skin needs additional support to stay hydrated and nourished because, as Holecek explained, “Vata skin tends to be dry, darker, and cooler to the touch with a tendency for roughness.” Think of your skin as the check engine light to your internal health. When your skin glows, chances are your emotional well-being is on a par with it. And, ICYMI, taking care of your skin is a form of self-care, and going through the steps of your skincare routine can dramatically reduce stress levels. How’s that for a win-win? 
      That’s not to say you need to overhaul your entire skincare routine—a few minor adjustments will do the trick. “Keep the body and skin hydrated from within by drinking plenty of water,” Holecek suggested. As for ingredients and products to look out for? “Nourish from the outside [in] with gentle cleansers that won’t strip, aloe and rosewater-based toners, and nurturing oils that maintain an effective moisture barrier,” she said. “Rose oil is excellent at hydrating and nurturing dry or maturing skin, while Frankincense essential oil works at the cellular level to promote cellular regeneration necessary for battling fine lines. Pomegranate oil, rich in fatty acids, restores firmness and elasticity.” 

      7. Implement self-massage

      When it comes to Ayurvedic self-care, self-massage reigns supreme, especially in the fall, as an effective vata-pacifying method. “Loving, generous, Ayurvedic self-massage, also known as Abhyanga, is one of the most beneficial exercises for our well-being,” Holecek affirmed. “It grounds us and allows for a moment to appreciate the body and mind. When doing so in a deliberate, therapeutic way, it can help to increase circulation, reduce inflammation, boost longevity, and clear any bodily obstructions, including stagnation, heaviness, and blockages.” A recent clinical trial studying the effects of self-massage echoed Holecek’s sentiments, proving Abhyanga to be an effective way to decrease stress levels, improve quality of sleep, and enhance one’s overall quality of life.

      To give self-massage a go, Holecek suggested using warm sesame or mustard oil during the fall and winter months for their deep-tissue-de-stressing and mind-body-wellness-promoting properties. Start by rubbing the warm oil between your hands, then massage it into your scalp. Next, move from your face down to your feet, using circular movements along your joints and bones. Check out this video tutorial for more details on the technique. 

      7 Health Tips Ayurveda Taught Me That Changed My Life More

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      A Manifestation Expert Shares 5 Life-Changing Hacks That You Haven’t Heard Yet

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      It seems as though a new manifestation method pops up every other week (thanks, #ManifestationTok), making it hard to know where to even begin, not to mention decipher between what’s legit and just BS. And if you’re trying to get ahead of your goal-setting for 2023, it’s prime time to nail down the practice for some serious manifesting, because there are incorrect ways to attract what you want in life–it’s not as cut and dry as “ask, and you shall receive.” So I grilled Kathleen Cameron, manifestation expert, coach, and author of Becoming The One, to set the record straight and dish out her tried-and-true hacks to live our best lives. On tap: manifesting your dreams. 

      Meet the expert
      Kathleen Cameron
      Manifestation Expert and Author
      Kathleen Cameron is a success, life, and manifestation coach. Her innovative approach to manifestation led to the creation of Diamond Academy Coaching where she helps students grow in all areas of life through online coaching and in-person seminars. Kathleen helps others step into their true potential to become the best version of themselves and facilitates bringing their goals to reality.

      1. Transform your beliefs
      Manifestation is not a one-and-done situation. You’re always manifesting, whether you realize it or not, and it starts with your thoughts. “The first step in manifesting is becoming an observer of your own thoughts,” explained Cameron. “What thoughts and beliefs are limiting and how can you move them to be empowering? That’s how you manifest!” For example, Cameron broke down the thought process of manifesting your dream home: shift your beliefs from “I’ll never live in a house that big” to “I’d love to live in a house that big” to finally, “Wow, look at me living in a house this big!” 
      The same goes for any doubts you may have about the power of manifestation. “Really opening the veil of skepticism and opening your mind to a different possibility is what is going to help you change the course of your own life,” Cameron affirmed. “Your thoughts have created the day you lived today. If you want to change your experience, you need to change your thoughts. So, what if you change your thought about manifestation?”
       

      2. Find an approach that works for you
      From journaling and vision boards to positive affirmations and the 369 method, the world is your manifestation oyster. So how do you determine which manifestation technique is the crème de la crème for you? “It comes down to the type of person you are and the type of things you enjoy doing,” Cameron stated. “It’s important to find an approach that works for you and makes you feel joy, excitement, and alignment. Choose that one.” 
      Whether you’re new to manifesting or looking for a fresh start, Cameron recommended starting with journaling. By putting pen to paper, you get in tune with your thoughts and become aware of any judgments or limiting beliefs that are blocking you from your desires. Because you’re letting your thoughts flow, you can consciously identify any that are coming from a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. Then, you can work on reframing those lack-based thoughts into abundant thoughts (read: focusing on what you do have).
      There’s one caveat to journaling: Cameron warned that writing down what you want over and over doesn’t actually create consistent sustainable manifestations. It may bring about the one thing you’re going after here and there, but in order to experience a true outer transformation, you have to start with your “inside world.”  

      3. Do the inner work
      No matter how you approach manifestation, you’ve got to do a deep-dive into self-reflection and self-discovery (AKA inner work), and peel back the layers. “It’s about how you see yourself that leads to the manifestation,” expressed Cameron. “Doing it ‘incorrectly’ is when you change nothing about yourself and try to manifest something different. It all starts with you!” Cameron suggested asking yourself, “Who am I?” to uncover what you want to change about yourself. 
      Trying to attract something into your life without working through your fears, negative emotions, and limiting patterns is the most common manifesting mistake Cameron sees. Bottom line: If you’re the same person you’ve always been with the same thoughts, actions, and feelings, you won’t get different results. “The different result comes from being a different version of yourself,” she said. “Manifestation is a transformation.”

      4. Be the dream version of yourself
      It goes without saying that we all have something we want to bring to fruition, whether it’s a soulmate, job, or home. Cameron’s #1 tip to attracting whatever you want? “You need to be the dream version of yourself,” she attested. “Everything is an attraction, you attract what you are, and you attract the energy that you’re in. The first step and the most important thing to do is to make sure you’re operating on a frequency of vibration that is a match to the thing you desire. If you want to feel and attract this big love into your life, you have to be loving now.”
      Reflect on and identify who you want to be (read: your highest self): Where are you living? What do you do for work? What are you wearing? Who are you with? Then, start showing up as if you are already that person. Approach every situation and decision—no matter how big or small—as the best version of yourself. The best part? Evoking the feeling of your future self will help you align with and become her.  
       
      5. Supplement with visualization
      PSA: Your manifestation method doesn’t have to be fancy or on-trend. Cameron said visualization is the most powerful thing you could do, recommending five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night. “Visualize yourself in a scene where the manifestation has happened, then apply the feeling of the wish fulfilled,” she said. In other words, picture what you’re seeking and your highest self who already has it, down to the micro-details. “The fastest way to manifest what you want has more to do with the vividness of the image you have,” said Cameron. The winning combination is visualizing what you want, the feeling of it being fulfilled, and the belief that you have the ability to obtain it. 
      Good news: If you’ve ever created a vision board, you’re ahead of the game. By gathering words, images, or objects that represent the future you want in a tangible form (physically or digitally) will not only help you focus on your dream life, but also activate the good vibes, connections, and resources needed to realize it. If vision boarding isn’t your cup of tea, you can try listening to a guided meditation, taking a few minutes to imagine your future (best) self first thing in the morning, or saying daily affirmations (think: “I am strong, I am confident, I am motivated. My life is full of abundance.”) 
       

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      Your Zodiac Sign Might Be the Secret to Feeling More Confident and Happy—Here’s How To Tap In

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      If you know the basics of astrology, you know that your zodiac sign can tell you a lot about your personality traits or who you’re most compatible with. Whether you’re a secret-keeping Scorpio, adventure-seeking Sagittarius, or initiative-taking Capricorn, there’s no denying the insight the stars can give into our truest selves. But did you know that each star sign has a color associated with it? And by tapping into your sign’s specific hue, you can level-up your best qualities, self-awareness, and confidence? “Representing the zodiac sign’s overall feel, certain colors can highlight the most powerful attributes of each sign,” explained Maria Hayes, an astrologer and tarot reader. “Knowing your zodiac color is crucial, as you can feed it to your subconscious energy, further bolstering your inner talents.” Bottom line: Wearing your color can empower you to live your best, happiest life. 
      But there’s more good news: Not only can you harness your power color through what you wear, but also via your decor style and wellness practices. So take this as a sign to go paint the town [insert your color]. Read on to find out which color is best for your zodiac sign and how to bring out its good vibes for optimal energy, abundance, confidence, or happiness–straight from astrology experts.

      How do I harness my zodiac sign’s color?
      Lucky for us, there’s no special formula for activating the energy of the colors written in the stars for our signs. Whether you decide to go the fashion or decor route, you can’t go wrong. “Wearing your power color through clothes, accessories, makeup, and nail polish is a classic choice to channel your sign’s innate energy, but there are many other options, especially for those days when you just can’t get away with wearing bright blue eyeshadow,” said Charlotte Kirsten, a psychotherapist and master astrologer. Kirsten also suggested surrounding yourself with your power color in your home with objects like wall art, flowers, cushions, curtains, or books to help welcome and absorb your sign’s positive energy. 
      Amy Zerner, an astrologer and author of Astrology for Wellness and Mindful Astrology, recommended further channeling your power color through meditation. “Clear your mind, take a few deep breaths, and stare at an object in the color,” she described. “Breathe in the color until you can feel it deep inside of you. Repeat this ritual whenever you feel as if you need to bring healing, happiness, prosperity, or any other good thing into your life.” Sound intriguing? Kirsten breaks down each sign’s inner color below:

      Your Power Color

      Red 
      Red reflects Aries’ bold and brazen nature and amplifies their natural courage, desire for adventure, and reverence for life. This headstrong ram loves nothing more than being in charge of their own destiny! Ruled by the fearless and feisty planet of Mars (AKA the Red Planet), Aries are strong-initiative takers and aren’t afraid to make risky decisions in pursuit of true freedom.

      Green
      Being an Earth sign, it’s no surprise that the color of nature—green—reflects Taurus’ down-to-Earth and practical side. It’s no coincidence that green is also the color of money, wealth, and financial security, which fits this luxury-loving bull sign and its affinity for being pampered and the finer things in life. Green helps Taureans channel their innate prosperity and natural gift for creating and attracting abundance.

      Yellow
      The inspiring and life-giving yellow reflects Gemini’s childlike wisdom and curiosity. Yellow, the world’s happiest color, helps the dualistic twins learn new things, channel their intellect and mental prowess, and keep their spirits high even on the darkest of days. 

      Silver
      Ruled by the silver-hued Moon, the comfort-seeking crab is deeply in tune with its motherly, caring instincts. Silver not only reflects Cancers’ calmness, serenity, and higher spiritual self, but it also helps them connect with their intuition and effortlessly pick up on the energies in a room. Tied to many mythological stories and tales, the color silver also acts as a guard, helping Cancers ward off evil spirits and malice.

      Orange or Gold
      Lively and vivacious, Leo knows exactly what it takes to be the life of the party. These lovable lions channel their warm, friendly, and infectious energy to inject spontaneous fun into any situation. Ruled by the luminary sun, Leos are incredibly outgoing and aren’t afraid to give new experiences a whirl. Orange and gold help Leos channel their inner confidence, reveal their true selves, and show off their warm and generous nature.

      Brown 
      An earthy, life-giving color, brown reflects Virgo’s practical, grounded, and systematic approach to life. This analytical and data-driven sign prides itself on its ability to act independently and the color brown aids in fulfilling that goal. Virgos can use brown as a symbol of personal growth, helping them work through even the toughest of problems, obstacles, and challenges. 

      Pink
      Pink reflects Libra’s delicate and soft, yet charming nature. Obsessed with beauty and symmetry, Libras are the true aesthetes of the zodiac. They adore fine art, intellectualism, and nurturing deep bonds with others, and pink helps them tip the scales in their favor. Ruled by Venus, the planet of love, Libras can use pink as a way to strengthen relationships, promote self-love and compassion, and even enhance their diplomatic skills to solve conflict in the lives of others.

      Black
      Black represents Scorpio’s powerful, demanding, and mysterious aura. Ruled by shadowy Pluto, the color black helps Scorpios build deep and soulful relationships with those around them, bringing out their passionate side. It also has a guarding and grounding effect for this water sign, aiding it in an emotional and physical rebirth after times of disaster or upset.

      Purple
      Engaging and inspiring, this wanderlust-driven sign is known for its freedom-seeking and independent nature, and purple only enhances it. A symbol of elegance, royalty, and scholarship, purple helps Sagittariuses tap into their creative energy, allowing their most brilliant ideas to shine! It drives them to venture into a journey of self-discovery and continuously seek new horizons. 

      Grey
      The epitome of responsibility, this hard-working and pragmatic Earth sign knows exactly what it takes to become self-sufficient in this world, and grey only serves to bolster this energy. Grey enhances Capricorn’s logic, traditionalist views and utmost determination. Some may say it’s a boring color, but sometimes it’s the boring, nitty-gritty tasks that get us to where we want and that’s exactly the energy that grey brings into a Capricorn’s life. 

      Blue
      Aquarius has a rebellious streak running through their veins, both in action and thought, and blue allows the sign to tap into its imaginative and free-spirited personality with ease. Whenever they feel their innovative side is stifled, Aquariuses can tap into their power color to release creativity and new ideas. Blue helps this eccentric air sign thrive on individuality and uniqueness, allowing them to march to the beat of their own drum.

      Aquamarine or Light Green
      Ruled by dreamy Neptune, the god of the sea, this visionary fish derives its energy from its deeply felt emotions. Aquamarine enables Pisces to tap into their sensitive, intuitive, and deeply imaginative self. Pisces should especially embrace light green when they need the courage to go after what their heart desires.

      What Astrologists Say To Add to Your Wellness Routine RN More