Mind

I’m the first to cheer on a friend when she’s training for a marathon or congratulate her for launching her own business. But when it comes to celebrating myself, it doesn’t come easily or naturally (it’s almost nonexistent, TBH). I often play that “I’ll be happy when…” game (you know the one when you think you don’t deserve to pat yourself on the back until you land that dream job, reach your goal weight, save enough for a down payment, or find “the one?”). Sound familiar?
So how do we change our mindset and learn to celebrate ourselves just as we are today? Enter: Mel Robbins. With an impressive resume—motivational speaker, best-selling author, former TV host and criminal defense lawyer, mother and wife—Robbins knows a thing or two about dishing out wisdom. According to Robbins, all it takes is a simple habit and an easy morning routine to shift your mood and perspective, which she calls the “High 5 Habit.” So I decided to read the best-selling book and give it a go. Spoiler alert: It changed my life.

The habit:
The daily habit randomly came to Robbins when she was staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror years ago, feeling overwhelmed and defeated after drowning in debt and being in a rocky marriage. In an effort to cheer herself up, she gave her reflection a high-five in the mirror and decided to do it again the next day—and the day after that. By the third day, Robbins started to look forward to seeing her reflection, accept herself as she was in that moment, and feel ready to take on the day with a sense of enthusiasm. 
You might be thinking that sounds silly (I definitely did), but let’s unpack the science behind it. In Robbins’ book, she refers to a body of research called Neurobics, conducted by Dr. Lawrence Katz, a neurobiologist and researcher at Duke University. “In a neurobic exercise, you combine a routine activity, like looking at yourself in the mirror every morning, and you pair it with two things: something unexpected that involves your senses and an emotion that you’d like to feel, like celebration or being seen,” she explained. In other words, when you high-five yourself in the mirror (an act you don’t normally do), the mind connects it with positive associations like “Great job,” “You’ve got this,” and “I’m proud of you” because of interactions you’ve had with the action and other people since you were a child.
Robbins claims that adding the “High 5 Habit” to your morning routine will not only transform your relationship with yourself but also cultivate self-confidence, motivation, and happiness (are you sold yet?). Read on for what Robbins calls a “High 5 Morning,” which is six steps that can set you up for the day by putting yourself first, and my experience incorporating them into my daily routine. 

The 6 steps of the “High 5 Morning”

1. Get up when the alarm rings
That’s right: No snoozing allowed. Robbins said that when you hit the snooze button, it’s doing more damage than just delaying the inevitable. “If you always hit the snooze button, your actions are saying you don’t do what you say you’re going to do,” she explained. “And that impacts how your reticular activating system (RAS) filters what information gets kept in and filtered out of the brain. You make a promise when you set the alarm clock at night, and getting up at the time you set is you keeping that promise.” Confidence is just self-efficacy, which means believing that you’ll keep promises to yourself and follow through when you say you’re going to do something (like wake up at 6:30 a.m. instead of 6:35 a.m. or 6:40 a.m.). 
As hard as it was to avoid the “just five more minutes” rhetoric in my head and get right out of bed instead of scroll through my phone, I felt much more at ease and productive after just day one. It was as if I was given more time in the day to do things I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to fit in, like drinking my hot lemon water on my deck in the sun and dusting off my foam roller for some much-needed stretching. A five-minute snooze or 10-minute Instagram scroll in bed may not seem like a lot, but it adds up. Plus, I did feel much more capable when I actually got out of bed when I intended to. 

2. Try a self-love affirmation
To decrease everyday stress and to increase overall self-love, Robbins suggested placing your hands over your heart and repeating “I’m OK, I’m safe, I’m loved.” She explained that by reciting that affirmation, you center yourself, relax the body, and increase confidence. The physical action of putting your hands over your heart may sound cheesy, but a Polish study discovered that the hand-over-heart gesture can help promote better judgments and behavior. 
Whenever I feel anxiety start to creep up, I stop what I’m doing, place my hands on my heart, and repeat the affirmation over and over until the anxiety starts to dissipate. After doing this for just a few days, the perception of each current situation shifted, and I saw things more clearly. It reminded me that my fears are not based in reality, I am safe, and I am deserving of love. Needless to say, this habit is definitely going into my arsenal of confidence-building tools. 
 
3. Make your bed
Yes, the chore you dreaded as a kid had more benefits than just avoiding a fight with your mom. “Making your bed every morning is another way to strengthen the muscle of discipline and commitment to yourself,” Robbins said. What may seem like a trivial task actually has a lot of benefits: Some research shows that it improves your mood and increases productivity. When I walk into my bedroom to disheveled sheets and pillows, my mood totally shifts. Call me a neat freak, but a made bed makes a difference (science says so!). This was one habit I already had in my wheelhouse (high-five, Katherine!), but after trying the High 5 Habits, I’m going to make my bed when I’m traveling as well. “The key to putting yourself first is practicing what you said you would do, no matter where you are, how you feel, or what excuses you might have,” Robbins said.

4. High-five your reflection
Every day, it’s important to “greet your biggest ally and best friend—you,” Robbins advised. High-fiving your reflection is obviously the most crucial routine to Robbins, but this habit was the hardest for me to adopt. I was so used to looking at myself in the mirror and seeing only flaws (and it felt so…uncomfortable?). But as soon as I started getting used to high-fiving my reflection, I couldn’t help but smile and think to myself, “I got this. It’s going to be a great day.” Putting the habit into practice was like giving myself a pep talk every morning, and when I looked back at my reflection in the gym mirror or checked my makeup in the car later in the day, the harsh critic in me was way quieter. If you’re struggling to adopt the habit, place a Post-it Note on your mirror to remind yourself to follow through with your high-fives (it saved me a couple of mornings!). 

5. Put your workout clothes on
We all know that getting a sweat in is physically and mentally beneficial, but it’s hard to follow through. Robbins lays out her workout clothes the night before, which forces her to put them on the next morning before she leaves her bedroom (she calls it “productive guilt”). This promise isn’t anything new or revolutionary, but it helped me celebrate every win, even the small act of getting dressed in workout gear (whether or not I actually worked out that day).
I have recently been struggling with motivation to go to the gym, so I was especially excited to try this routine. Every night, I picked out my workout OOTD and laid it out on my dresser before going to bed. It was a bit of a struggle to remember the first day, but there wasn’t anything a cute matching set couldn’t fix (nothing is more motivating than fashion!). By the fifth day, it became second nature to get some movement in, be it a 20-minute walk, Pilates class, or lifting sesh, because I already had the outfit on. Try putting on your workout clothes first thing when you get ready in the morning or pack a gym bag with your clothes ready to go if you need to put on work attire. 

6. Journal
Robbins encourages “dreaming in the morning” to shift your dreams from subconscious to conscious and put them at the front of your mind where they can “act like a searchlight” to help you manifest your happiest life but to also gain awareness of what you need. Grab your journal and write down exactly what you’re feeling, which will allow you to be present and process emotions (both good and bad). Then, jot down five things you want (it can be anything, from finding love to exploring Europe). By writing your dreams down, you’re validating them. “A critical part of living a High 5 Life is giving yourself permission—permission to dream big and to want what seems impossible,” she explained.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve loved lists and found putting pen to paper cathartic, so “dreaming in the morning” was the easiest for me to adapt. When I added this last step to my morning routine, I noticed I was more grounded and had more clarity. Making note of my thoughts and feelings meant they weren’t nagging at and controlling me all day. Instead of being bogged down by negative thoughts, I created space for more positive beliefs, and seeing my desires written out made them more real and feel more attainable. I see you, Katherine. 

Final thoughts
At the end of my week trying the High 5 Morning, I’d give Robbins’ methods a 10/10 for boosting confidence and feeling more connected to myself. The multiple steps didn’t seem daunting, tedious, or silly once I realized I was investing in myself and my confidence. It all comes down to the relationship I have with myself and being my own biggest cheerleader. PSA: We shouldn’t wait to receive a promotion, fit in our favorite pair of jeans from high school, or finally get reciprocation from a longtime crush to feel more confident. We deserve to be happy now. The icing on the cake? The “High 5 Habit” tools are free and easy, which means anyone, anywhere, at any age can benefit from them (you bet I taught my 2-year-old nephew to high-five himself in the mirror). So go ahead and give your strong, confident, happy self a high-five to achieve the confidence you deserve.

17 One-Minute Habits That Will Change Your Life More

Obsessive thinking, also known as rumination, is like a hamster wheel or a broken record that plays the same bad song over and over again. It’s like you’re hyper-focused on the negative, whether it’s one bad test score, work presentation, or conversation with a friend that didn’t go as planned. It’s as if our brains work to hold on to the negative experiences and totally forget about all the positive. Rumination can be problematic because it rarely offers new insights or solutions on how to handle a situation. Instead, it emotionally hijacks us and intensifies our negative feelings. So, how can we free ourselves from getting obsessive over negative thinking? Read on for five tools for a less negative you. 

1. Work on self-awareness 
The first step in changing any behavior is becoming conscious of it when it’s coming up. In other words, we have to recognize our patterns before we can change them. Often, when we are stuck in a cognitive loop, we engage in a well-established habit. It’s similar to biting nails or checking social media every few minutes—it happens unconsciously. The next time you catch yourself ruminating, think “Stop!” (say it out loud or in your head as a way to break the cycle). I also have my clients practice visualization by imagining putting a negative thought in a trashcan. Whatever works for you, repeat one word or routine every time you notice yourself obsessing over a negative thought.

2. Name it
When we are caught in the cycle of rumination, generally there is an underlying fear that something bad is going to happen. You might be obsessing over a mistake at work, an unfinished conversation with your partner, a fight with a friend, or not living the life you envisioned for yourself. Whatever the reason, try to sum up your negative thinking into one single sentence like “I am scared that I’m going to lose my job” or “I’m angry at my friend for the way she treated me.” You gain control by being able to address the real situation. If you can identify your greatest worry or fear, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen? Can I handle that?” Most likely, the answer is yes. You’ll deal with it in the moment just like you’ve always dealt with any hardship. This will help remove some of the fear. 

3. Practice mindfulness
We spend so much time dwelling on past mistakes or worrying about future events that we rarely spend time in the here and now. The practice of mindfulness can help us reduce our “thinking” and increase our “sensing.” For example, any time you find yourself in “auto-pilot” mode, like if you’re eating lunch at your desk or checking Instagram while you wait for an elevator, try to just sit and be with yourself. Focus on what you see, hear, smell, feel, and taste. This can help ground you in the present moment. When you catch your attention wandering into the past or future, gently guide yourself back to the present moment. Eventually, you’ll realize that the obsessive thought is coming from worry about the future or past, and not rooted in reality. 

4. Acceptance
Pause for a moment and identify the source of your worries. A lot of them probably have to do with future projections or past hurts, mistakes, or regrets. Try to accept your situation as it is right now. I know how hard this can be, but I also know that pain and suffering gets worse depending on how we think about it. Accept your current state as it is. Stop wanting things to be different. When you find yourself obsessing about the past or worrying about the future, ask yourself, “Can I do anything about this right now?” If the answer is no, do your best to accept what is. Take a deep breath and do something that brings you joy. If the answer is yes, identify what you can do and do it.

5. Schedule a worry break
For me, falling asleep has always been difficult because of worry. My thoughts bounced all over the place at bedtime: relationships, body image, career, finances, the future, and what I was going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It was exhausting and it kept me awake and anxious. Eventually, I found that allowing myself a short period of time to worry (about 15-30 minutes) helped me have better boundaries. During the “worry time” I write down what’s on my mind. At night when my thoughts keep me awake, I say to myself, “Nothing is going to get solved right now, it’s time to sleep. You can think about it tomorrow.”
Like any new skill, it takes practice, repetition, and self-love. Be compassionate with yourself and remember you don’t have to do it all at once—don’t feel like you’ve failed if you have a fearful or anxious thought. However, if obsessive thoughts are affecting your life or hard to get over, we recommend seeking a therapist who can help.

3 Types of Negative Mindsets That Can Cause Real Harm—And How to Overcome Them More

When I started seeing my therapist a year ago, I was mostly looking for someone to listen to me and tell me how to fix my problems. What else is therapy for? After a few sessions, I learned that therapists are for more than listening, and mine loves to pull me out of my comfort zone and make me feel emotions I usually avoid—like anxiety. 
If you’ve ever experienced overwhelming worry or stress, you’ll know the lengths one can go through to just push through, “be productive,” and figure everything out so you don’t have to sit with the emotion of anxiousness. Then, once I get everything done, I’ll self-soothe, maybe with my Equilibria Daily Drops CBD or a day of doing nothing at all. But the damage is already done, and I enter a cycle of feeling anxious all over again.
The one thing I was missing was self-compassion—something we always give to others but rarely to ourselves. Self-compassion means forgiving yourself, giving yourself grace, and accepting yourself. When you feel anxious, address that it’s normal to feel anxious and continue to love yourself—that’s self-compassion. One of the most important aspects of self-compassion for me has been distraction. I don’t mean avoiding whatever negative emotion I’m feeling altogether—I distract myself until I’m ready to come back to the emotion with a level head.
Since I started distracting myself when I feel a negative emotion coming on—grief, overwhelm, sadness, loneliness, stress, disappointment, you name it—I actually feel like I’m able to deal with them, once and for all. One of the biggest additions to my routine has been incorporating my CBD regimen from Equilibria in a more intentional way. Instead of just taking my CBD and hoping for the best, I started using my favorite products in conjunction with the rest of my anti-anxiety routine, and it’s finally made me feel at ease. 
If you also want to try Equilibria’s CBD in your self-care routine, use code “theeverygirl” at checkout for 15% off your order! Plus, through September 30, Equilibria is offering a first-of-its-kind deal: new and existing customers who’ve never subscribed before can get 20% off their first, second, and third months of an Equilibria subscription! Just use code “theeverygirlfall20” at checkout. 

How I Show Myself Compassion:

1. Taking baths
Most of my life, I never had a bathtub, so when I moved into my apartment, I took bath time very seriously. I’d put on a dreamy show, scroll on my phone, put on a face mask—and then I’d wonder why I didn’t feel relaxed when I got out. Now, I use baths as a time to actually unwind by leaving my phone and computer and instead reading a book. I also started adding Equilibria’s Mindful Mineral Soak, which utilizes full-spectrum CBD for a calming bath ritual from the start.
I take baths in the morning and at night, and I tailor them depending on the time. I love using the Equilibria bath soak at night because it really helps me sleep, whereas in the morning, I rely on Equilibria’s Bath Bombs that make the bath smell invigorating and energizing.

Equilibria
Bath Bombs
Use code “theeverygirl” at checkout for 15% off your order!

2. Giving myself breaks throughout the day
When I push through my work to get as much done as humanly possible, I end the day feeling like I absolutely need a nap because I’m so exhausted, regardless of how much coffee my system endured earlier in the day. My therapist actually recommended I start giving myself scheduled breaks throughout the day to step away from my computer and re-energize.
I started incorporating the Equilibria Daily Gummies into breaks at my desk as a way to re-center when I’m experiencing a lot of overwhelm or worry, and they’re a great way to take a short break. I’ll take one and move to a different spot in my apartment or go for a walk. When I can feel myself wanting a Daily Gummy, I know that I’m in need of a quick break. 

Equilibria
Daily Gummies
Use code “theeverygirl” at checkout for 15% off your order!

3. Nighttime body gua sha
I embarked on a fitness journey this year, and as much as it’s improved my physical and mental health, I experience sore muscles quite a bit more than I ever have. This turned me to body gua sha, which I use with my Daily Treatment Oil from Equilibria (or the Relief Balm on really sore days). What I didn’t know was how much body gua sha would become a self-care ritual for me, even when I don’t have soreness. The CBD oil is so relaxing and soothing on my skin, and the gua sha forces me to take a break to show love to myself for 10-15 minutes every day.
I usually gua sha before bed, so I keep it on my nightstand with my other essentials like a book and lip balm. It’s become a non-negotiable in my nighttime routine, right along with my face wash and retinol.

4. Cherishing my morning routine
I have a habit of waking up in the morning and getting straight to work or heading straight to the gym, not giving myself any time to wake up. I thrust myself into the day and then later wonder why I feel so drained at the end of the workday, which always leads me to feeling anxious. Instead, I have started to give myself an hour before I start working or leave the house. I’ll make a cup of coffee and actually enjoy it while reading a book or catch up on my favorite show.
Putting too much focus on being productive turns everything I love—like exercise or making myself a good breakfast—into a chore. I wrote down my priorities in a morning routine (exercise, drinking a cup of coffee or tea, getting ready for the day, journaling), and I make sure I get to do those things as much as possible before I start my workday. My anxiety about getting everything done is lessened when I already feel like I’ve established my priorities for the day.

7 Easy Hacks to De-Stress Throughout the Work Day

This post is sponsored by Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

Important PSA: Your body needs different things in different seasons. When it comes to a mood boost, a day at the beach, a new pair of sandals, or a pitcher of spicy margaritas with the girls will not do the trick in September or October like it did in July—what works in the summer might not make you happy in the fall. Also, boosting your mood is not always as simple as buying a PSL or a cute pair of boots. It’s important to adapt your entire self-care routine to keep you as happy and healthy as possible as the seasons change.
Happiness is the most important part of health to prioritize, so I’m bringing you seven changes to start making now in order to keep your mood boosted as much as possible through the autumn months. Read on for how to transform your mental health routine from summer to fall and get ready for your happiest autumn ever. 

1. Add nature to your routine and focus on your senses
You already know that getting outside is good for you (we’re meant to be in nature), and that includes being good for your mood too. Especially as the leaves start changing, getting outdoors is not only a healthy practice but also an enjoyable one: The views are unbeatable and the weather is perfect (no more coming home drenched in sweat like in the summer months). While getting outside in any way is good for you, consider leaving the AirPods at home and take in the sounds of nature instead. Research has shown that our moods are affected by what we take in through our senses—what we hear, smell, taste, see, and touch can affect us emotionally. Be mindful not only of what you see but also what you hear, smell, and feel too: crunching leaves, birds chirping, and that fresh woodsy scent. Try a sensory walk, hike, or bike ride for an immediate mood boost. 

2. Set a new goal
Hot take: Fall resolutions are better than New Year’s resolutions. Remember when you were a kid and fall meant new school supplies and a totally different class? Or maybe you remember heading back to college with new goals for meeting new friends, acing your classes, or just visiting the ice cream bar at the cafeteria a little less frequently. Even if fall doesn’t mean a new school year anymore, you can still recreate the sense of newness and promise. Reflect on who you want to be this year and what you need to do to achieve it. Make sure to get specific: Meditating for five minutes every day or cooking every night of the workweek will be much more achievable than just meditating or cooking more often. Working toward something can help boost your mood in the short term, while achieving goals that are important to you can help make you happier in the long run. 

3. Adapt your exercise routine
So the weather is changing, you’re switching from iced coffee to PSLs, and you have way less energy than you did in the summertime? Instead of fighting the changes in the season and forcing your butt to the gym, adapt your workout routine to how your body feels. One of the best reasons to work out is to boost your mood, so if your workouts are leaving you feeling drained, unmotivated, or bored, change it up. While going on a run or attending a high-energy cardio class might have been fun and motivating during sunny days, you might see these types of exercise as a dreaded chore instead of something that feels enjoyable. Swap them for going on long walks to enjoy the changing weather (see point #1) or slow yoga flows if your body is craving relaxing movement. Yes, exercise in general serves as a major mood boost, but it should be exercise that feels good to you. Ask your body what it wants and adjust your workout routine accordingly. 

4. Be more mindful of getting sunshine
Whether you deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder or just feel more lethargic and bummed in colder months, our moods often change starting in autumn for a reason. A big cause of seasonal mood changes has to do with lack of sunlight. According to Harvard Health Publishing, less sunlight during colder months can throw off your circadian rhythm, which causes the brain to release less serotonin (the happy hormone). Many of us live in colder climates with cloudier days and spend more time indoors starting in the fall, so we need to actively work on getting in sunshine to keep our moods boosted.
Since sunshine is effortless in the summer (hello, rooftop bars!), intentionally add in more sunshine to your wellness routine this season. Grab a sweater and drink your morning coffee on a patio or balcony, go on more walks instead of working out at the gym, or consider a light therapy lamp if your area gets really gloomy. If you are experiencing Seasonal Affective Disorder or a drastic change in mood or motivation, it’s important to seek therapy. 

5. Adjust your home environment 
Speaking of changes in weather, colder temperatures mean you’ll spend more nights in and more days cooped up indoors. More time at home can mean more restlessness or boredom throughout the season, which, of course, is a major mood buster. To avoid feeling restless or bored, adjust your home environment for the season. Scatter cozy essentials throughout your home (we stan luxurious throw blankets), avoid clutter as much as possible and keep your home tidy (clutter can cause stress), and indulge in your senses with textured accents, rich scents (looking at you, pumpkin spice candles!), and fall-inspired music playing on repeat. Turning your home into a cozy oasis will make you excited to stay at home instead of dreading it.  

6. Eat what your body craves
Just like you might need to adapt your exercise routine as the season changes, you also might need to change what you eat. Healthy eating during the summer months seems easier because we’re craving lighter, colder foods like smoothies and salads. But as the weather changes, you shouldn’t force yourself to eat smoothies and salads if you’re not in the mood. Instead, eat what your body is craving. Switch to warm, grounding foods like stews or soups and utilize healthy flavors of the season like pumpkin, cinnamon, and apples. In other words, you can still get in your fruits and veggies while eating the way your body wants to eat when the temperatures drop. You’ll experience more pleasure from your meals if you don’t force yourself to eat bland foods that don’t satisfy you (I’m ready to break up with salads starting Sept. 1). And when you eat based on what’s most satisfying? Instant mood boost. 

7. Schedule something to look forward to
Fall can be a weird time because we’re past the fun of summer vacations but not yet in the magic of the holiday season. Any period of time when we don’t have anything to look forward to can feel lackluster, unmotivating, and just plain boring. To keep your mood high through the season, schedule activities that you would actually enjoy to have something to look forward to. Whether it’s taking a camping trip for a weekend, scheduling apple picking with your best friends on a random Saturday, or even planning a mental health day in advance to take the day off and read the book you’ve been dying to get to, physically planning and scheduling exciting events in your calendar will help keep your mood boosted. 

These tips are intended for general boost in mood, not to treat anxiety or depression. If you think you may be experiencing anxiety, depression, or Seasonal Affective Disorder, it’s important to reach out and get help. See your doctor, get in contact with a therapist, and/or talk to a close friend or family member. 

Products I Go To When I Need an Immediate Mood Boost More

We’ve all been there: You wake up with a pounding headache, mascara smudged on your pillow, and a bad case of hangxiety, fully regretting that extra cocktail you ordered last night. For some, physical symptoms are the extent of a hangover, but for others (myself included), alcohol can have negative effects on your mind too. These effects often come in the form of rethinking everything you said or did the night before, worrying all your friends are mad at you, or just that general sinking feeling of dread over nothing in particular.
Experts have recently coined the term “hangxiety” to explain these alcohol-induced feelings. According to SELF Magazine, hangxiety occurs when alcohol interrupts our neurotransmitters and the body is trying to regulate inhibitory and stimulatory systems. It’s also more likely to affect those with existing anxiety symptoms (*raises hand*). I know I’m definitely not alone in feeling this way when I indulge in a couple of glasses of Sauv Blanc, so I’m sharing a few tips I learned that help me cope with my hangxiety and will maybe help you. Read on for five ways I deal with a little bit of anxiety after drinking.  

1. Journal
As someone who deals with generalized anxiety on a daily basis, I often use journaling as a technique to organize my thoughts and calm my nervous mind. When I wake up feeling hangxious, my mind is usually racing with negative thoughts or worries. Rather than keeping those thoughts inside, I like to write them down as a form of self-therapy. That way, I can determine if my thoughts are grounded in reality or if it’s just my anxiety playing tricks on me. This is also helpful to look back on later if my hangxiety begins to flare up because I can remind myself that I’ve already worked through those worries and don’t need to dwell on them anymore. If you find yourself experiencing negative thoughts or worries regularly, consider speaking with a therapist. 

2. Drink water
This probably goes without saying, but hydration is key. During a night out, I tend to skimp on my water intake, so the next day, I’m typically not physically feeling my best either. It’s hard for me to get out of a negative headspace if I’m also dealing with a headache, so I focus on hydrating throughout the day. In addition to its health benefits, taking time to drink water is also a way of practicing self-care, which can help boost my mood when I’m feeling low. Another key tip: Try to stay hydrated while drinking alcohol instead of just the day after.  

3. Move your body
Working out isn’t high on my list of interests after a late night out, but making it part of my hangxiety routine has been a game-changer. Similar to drinking water, working out helps me establish a mind-body connection and assists the body’s natural detoxification process (which feels especially important the day after a couple spicy margaritas, you know?). I don’t always enjoy a hungover sweat sesh in the moment, but even something simple like a short walk leaves me feeling empowered and proud of myself for putting in the work. Exercise also releases endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. 

4. Shower
Maybe it’s the water sign in me (shoutout to all my fellow Pisces!), but I firmly believe there’s nothing a good shower can’t fix. It’s hard to feel good about yourself mentally when you’re not feeling great physically, so I find it helpful to remove any residual makeup off my face (looking at you, mascara smudges), wash the dry shampoo and hairspray out of my hair, and start the day fresh. Taking this time for myself serves as a gentle reminder that I am worthy of feeling good in my body. For bonus self-care points, click here to make your shower routine more luxurious. 

5. Do something productive
During hangovers past, I used to wallow in bed, eat Mcdonald’s breakfast, and feel sorry for myself (no judgment if this works for you!). But I’ve learned that getting up and doing something productive actually makes me feel better. Whether it’s something small like planning out the week ahead or a larger task like cleaning the house, I feel good about myself after I’ve accomplished something on my to-do list. It makes the worries about the night before seem a lot less important. While these tips work for me, it’s important to note that alcohol and anxiety affect everyone differently. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer for how to take care of your mental health, but doing what feels best for your body is a good place to start. 

While this article is referring to common effects of short-term drinking, there’s a correlation between anxiety disorder and alcohol abuse, according to the American Addiction Center. If you are struggling with substance abuse, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for assistance. 

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What do weddings, vacations, and job promotions have in common? They all evoke celebration. There’s nothing like the thrill every time we have an exciting event or life update. But when exciting things aren’t happening, life can seem rather, well, dull. Maybe you already went on your big vacation for the year, don’t have any weddings this season, or are feeling pretty meh in your career. Every day is filled with errands to run, bills to pay, and chores to do, and it doesn’t feel like there’s much to celebrate besides making it to Friday every week. Even if you are working towards exciting goals, we all have those stuck-in-a-rut periods. Let’s face it: normal doesn’t exactly give you butterflies. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy life and make the most of even “normal” days. Read on for how to get out of a rut and get excited when you don’t have much going on.

1. Do something different
Is even your “off-time” or “fun days” spent in the same routine? Maybe you binge Netflix every evening or go to the same bar every Saturday. The truth is that nothing will feel different until you do something different. Switch up your routine by spending your off-time more intentionally. Read a new book in your evenings, take a walk on a route you’ve never been on, or try a new restaurant on your night out. When there’s nothing new going on in your life, make something new. 

2. Channel your most fierce self
Flip through any fashion magazine and you’ll likely find a celeb or two sashaying through the airport or grocery shopping while still looking fabulous. Besides the fact that wearing stilettos while traveling is utterly wild, we can take some inspo from being #extra. Even if you have nowhere to go, put in some extra effort to channel your most fierce self: throw on your best OOTD, do your favorite hairstyle, or perfect a killer cat-eye flick, even if it’s a casual lunch with your BFF or picking up dry cleaning. 

3. Practice mindfulness
When we feel “stuck in a rut,” we’re usually responding to what we thought would or should happen. We feel disappointed in the moment because we’re missing out on what we thought should be happening (like feeling bored in your career just because you thought you’d have a promotion by now). Use mindfulness to stay in the moment and accept the present, rather than thinking of the past or what could’ve been.

4. Move your body
When you’re feeling blah, a workout might just be what the doctor ordered (literally). Exercise can help boost your mood, but can also change the way you see about yourself. I love to run and listen to something inspirational while pushing myself. If I’m a little grumpy at the beginning of my run, I’ll almost always end get into a good mood by the end of it.

5. Use self-talk
When we don’t get what we want, it’s easy to reinforce negative thoughts and emotions. One bad day can easily spiral into bad weeks or bad months because the mind gets into habits. Many of us are flooded with negative thoughts before we even step out of bed, and don’t even recognize it because we are so used to thinking that way. Pay attention to the messages you’re telling yourself, and replace negative thoughts with something a little healthier and more optimistic. You may be surprised by how your mood improves.

6. Give what you think you are lacking
If you’re feeling particularly negative, try giving someone whatever it is that you think you need, whether it be advice, attention, or a kind gesture. When you feel lack of something, whether it’s excitement, joy, love, or time, giving it to someone else will show you how much of it you actually have. Spoiler alert: be prepared to feel wowed by the good vibes that come with spending your time and energy on someone else. 

7. Search for (any) jobs
The other day I was perusing the web and came across a few job openings that looked interesting but were nowhere near my current industry. I compared my skills to the job requirements and thought about what experience I would need to gain to get the jobs that excited me the most. It gave me renewed insight into what I really want to do the skills I need to do it. So if you’re feeling in a career rut, a job search may invigorate you with a new direction or excitement to land your dream job.

8. Practice gratitude
When you’re in a rut, it takes a bit of effort to move through bad moods with a healthy dose of self-encouragement. But when you focus on what you are grateful for, you show yourself that you don’t need special events in order to feel happy, and your ability to thrive isn’t dependent upon your circumstances.

9. Read
Reading is the next best thing to actually taking a vacation. Think about it: you can be transported to another world or time period in a matter of seconds and without spending a lot of money. Reading about a totally different world than your own reality will give you distance and an opportunity to gain a new perspective. You may also find some teachable moments you can use to manage your own stress. If you’re feeling bored, read a book that takes place in a totally different country or time zone, or if you’re feeling uninspired, read a book that will boost your mood. 

10. Journal
You probably already know that journaling can be therapeutic. When you journal, you allow yourself to get all disappointments, failures, regrets, or worries out of your head and onto paper. At the same time, you can also use journaling to focus on joys, accomplishments, wins, and goals. Journal depending on what you think you need. For example, if you feel like you have a lot of emotions and stressors built up, let it all out on paper. If you’re realizing that you’re being a little extra negative, journal about the things you have to be grateful for. You can also track changes and progress made by seeing how your journaling changes day-to-day. 

11. Change up your home
Our home environment can reflect our emotional state. If you’re feeling uninspired in your life, your home probably shows it. But on the other hand, changing your environment can affect your overall outlook on life. Small changes in your space like moving a chair to another corner, placing your couch in a different direction, or adding a new piece of art can make any room feel totally different. The change of environment can help you change perspective, find more motivation, or find a new routine. Rearranging a room or switching up your furniture placement will feel like a change in your environment (always good for getting out of a rut!) and might even help you see things differently. 

12. Learn something new
They say if you aren’t learning, you aren’t growing. Sometimes, we get stuck in a rut because we don’t feel like we’re growing or that we’re getting any closer to achieving what we want out of life. So the easiest answer is to do something to get what you want out of life. Knowledge is power, and learning something new will not only make you feel more inspired, but might actually help you feel closer to your goals. Whether or not it’s directly related to your career, side hustle, or hobby, take a class that sounds interesting, dive into an educational book, or spend time looking up how-to videos on Youtube (there’s a lot you can learn!). 

13. Clean out your closet
Just like your home, your closet can be a great indicator of how you feel emotionally. Too many clothes, too few clothes, clothes we’ll never wear, clothes we can’t find because they’re burried in piles—you name it, it has meaning. You know the saying, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have?” What we wear can change what we think about ourselves, and what we think about ourselves changes everything from our emotions to our actions. When we have an overcrowded closet or a wardrobe that does not support our best selves, it’s another example of holding ourselves back from the life we truly want. Give away the clothes that don’t bring out the best in you or that you don’t love, and make room for new clothes that will allow you to dress for the life you want. 

14. Romanticize the mundane
Getting out of a rut is easier said than done. But often, all it takes to feel like we’re in a period of time worth celebrating is to find things to celebrate. Even if don’t have any exciting events in the near future, feel stuck in your career, or are bored of the same old routine, you can find little wins to celebrate and little moments to appreciate. For example, make yourself your favorite meal for a random lunch, just because it’s Tuesday, or stop for ice cream on the way home from work, just because you want to. Celebrate folding an entire load of laundry by throwing yourself a dance party or have your best friend over for wine night to celebrate the compliment you got from your boss. The more you romanticize the mundane by finding the “special” in the ordinary, you’ll learn that you can create your own happiness while still striving to achieve goals. 

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