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    Here’s How To Actually Practise Mindfulness And Unlock Inner Peace

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    We’ve got some good news. While you may feel that mindfulness is a a lot to get a handle of, the truth is you already practise mindfulness in other ways all the time. For example, you’re mindful when you need to change lanes, or when you use an oven mitt so you don’t burn yourself.

    So why not try intentionally putting some mindfulness techniques into practice? We’ve got everything you need to know right here in one place so you can click away from this article a whole lot more zen.

    What Is Mindfulness?

    Based on Zen, Vipassanā, and Tibetan meditation techniques, the concept is over 2 500 years old and has been practised over countless generations. It’s the practice of being aware and conscious in the present moment, calmly acknowledging and accepting your feelings and is used as a technique in therapy. This awareness has opened the door for thousands of pieces of literature on the topic because it works so well.

    3 Books To Read About Mindfulness

    The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

    Wherever You Go by Jon Kabat-Zinn

    The Miracle Of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

    READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

    What Are The Benefits Of Mindfulness?

    Studies reveal a direct link between mindfulness practices such as meditation, breathwork and yoga, and an array of health benefits.

    Mindfulness Can Lower Your Blood Pressure

    A 2022 study in the Journal of Tehran University Heart Centre found that mindfulness meditation “showed a significant reduction in the mean blood pressure, stress, depression and anxiety scores, as well as a significant improvement in different aspects of quality of life in patients.” Fabulous news!

    It Can Reduce Inflammation

    A 2019 study found that mindfulness meditation helped the brain manage stress – a known inflammation trigger – and therefore could reduce levels of inflammation.

    Mindfulness Can Promote Better Sleep

    A 2018 study found a promising correlation between mindfulness practises and better sleep with less disturbance. Other experts believe it might even help fight insomnia, too.

    It Can Help You Recover Quicker From Stress

    While it’s kinda the whole point for mindfulness to nix stress, it could also help you bounce back from current stressors. That’s likely because mindfulness equips you to better respond to stress, helping you recover from it faster.

    It Can Positively Influence Willpower and Interpersonal Relationships

    Studies have found that when you practise mindfulness, your ability to react to relationship stress is better. Also, your satisfaction in relationships improves.

    It’s Good For Your Immune System

    Physically, mindfulness practices enhance immune functioning and foster greater bodily awareness.

    It Can Shift Your Mindset

    When you practise mindfulness, a few great things happen. “Mindfulness is more than just a practice,” says Cami Barausse, Head of Yoga at Virgin Active. “It’s a whole mindset shift.”

    It Can Give You Emotional Balance And Mental Clarity

    “For many, it has offered a transformative pathway towards mental clarity and emotional balance,” says Barausse.

    It Can Help You Handle Pressure

    “Mindfulness can empower you to navigate through life’s daily pressures with composure, ensuring that you view challenges as transient phases,” Barausse explains.

    It’s Great For Fitness Enthusiasts

    Additionally, mindfulness offers a plethora of performance benefits for sportspeople and fitness enthusiasts. For athletes, the holistic benefits derived from mindfulness practices can be especially pronounced. Personal trainers and coaches often encourage daily mindfulness and meditation to boost their overall performance and recovery.

    READ MORE: How To Turn Those Forgotten Resolutions Into Attainable Goals

    How To Practise Mindfulness

    “Incorporating mindfulness into one’s routine can be a game-changer for anyone looking to elevate their wellness journey,” says Barausse. For her, it can be as simple as incorporating the practice into your everyday life.

    “Dedicate a few minutes each morning, during a break, or before sleep. Find a quiet space, focus on your breathing, and gently acknowledge your thoughts before bringing your attention back to your breath. This simple practice can anchor you in the present, enhancing your day or preparing you for restful sleep.”

    But if you’re not quite ready to be alone with your thoughts, these activities can help you settle into the present moment, too.

    1. Practise Mindfulness With Yoga

    “The social aspect of mindfulness as a group makes it a validating, often profound experience, which many people find spiritually significant,” says Barausse. So head to your local gym to try out a yoga class.

    By focusing on your breathing as you work your way through each pose, you allow yourself to focus only on the present moment – which in itself is an act of mindfulness. Allow other thoughts to melt away and focus only on your breath, each moment, and how it feels.

    Want to get started at home? Try this easy 15 minute yoga flow.

    2. Try Walking Meditation

    If it’s hard to sit in one position while focusing on creating mindfulness, so why not try a meditative walk? During the walk, focus on your breath, the air and objects around you.

    And if you want to level up those walks, why not take on our WH Walking Challenge right here.

    READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    3. Use Journalling

    Nothing forces you to zero in on your emotions quite like flooding the pages of your diary with your thoughts. While you’re writing, you’re forced to focus on the words you’re creating, which creates mindfulness. You can also take note of the texture of the paper, the way the ink flows, and where in your body you’re holding tension.

    Want to get started? Here are 15 wellness journals you can buy right now.

    4. Do Crafts

    Any activity that requires you to use your hands and stay focused on your given task is a gateway to mindfulness. Keep yourself from wondering thoughts by focusing on the task at hand, like perfecting your brushstroke as you paint.

    5. Eat Mindfully

    Not only is this a healthier way to consume food, it also has mood benefits. While chewing, focus on the feel of your food, the way it smells and how it’s filling you up. You’ll be surprised to see you’ll likely eat less, too.

    6. Try An App

    Mindfulness and meditation apps help you settle into the OG meditation practice. They’ll also let you customise things like the voice, listening time and more. Try apps like Headspace, Calm or Insight Timer.

    3 Mindfulness Apps To Download

    Headspace app

    Calm app

    Insight Timer More

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      Could Bed Rotting Be The Answer To Your Self-Care Struggles?

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      New Age, TikTok wellness trends will have you believe that everything your parents taught you about waking up early daily and making your bed is as irrelevant and outdated as a feature phone. Take for instance the latest fad: bed rotting (the tag has garnered more than 2 billion views on TikTok)!

      Ever had those weekend episodes where your eyes are wide awake (yay, new day!), but your body tells you that it doesn’t feel like leaving the bed. So, you end up eating, reading, catching on the latest season of Love Is Blind, taking calls, mindlessly browsing the rabbit hole that is the ‘net – all from comfort of your bed! Yep, you may have done this a couple of times already but thanks to GenZers redefining life as we’ve always known it via TikTok, the trend now has a phrase. What you call being consciously unproductive your grandmother may call pure laziness – but however you see it, let’s delve deeper into what ‘bed rotting’ a.k.a. ‘much-deserved rest’ entails – and how to do it right!

      READ MORE: 5 Reasons This Mauritius Holiday Is A Wellness Dream

      What You Do In Bed Matters

      Granting yourself a lazy day every once in a while is purely warranted and is no new concept. However, equally important is knowing when bed rotting is totally healthy and when it’s feeding into your existing mental health issues. “If, for instance, you’re already struggling with basic day-to-day functions and you’d rather sleep than face certain emotions head-on, sleeping or spending more time in bed could signal depression and other mood disorders,” explains counselling psychologist Selloane Molalogi-Makau, adding that if you’re constantly feeling lethargic and feel safer spending time in bed than anywhere else, perhaps it’s time to seek professional help.

      If, however, there is nothing alarming about your behaviour and you function just as well when you’re not cooped up in bed, Molalogi-Makau, suggests setting time limits to how much time you’re going to spend ‘bed rotting’ could be a good idea. For instance, are you going to use that time catching up on to-do list items that you didn’t get to in the week or are you immersed in a book whose storyline literally transports you to another world?

      “Just be careful not to indulge in anything that could upset you, stress you out or make you feel like your bed is safer than being out there in the world,” warns Molalogi-Makau.

      A February 2023 study by the University of Bath found that “long-term inactivity significantly increases blood sugar levels even if you reduce your food intake to avoid gaining weight.” While another pilot study published in the National Library of Medicine found that there was a correlation between “sleeping or lying in bed all day and an increased risk of stress and depression, systemic inflammation and other psychological and cardiovascular ailments.”

      READ MORE: Banesa Tseki On How Yoga Gave Her A New Lease On Life

      Bed Rotting Done Right?

      Durban-based psychologist Lindani Mnyaka believes that there’s nothing sinister with bed rotting – provided it’s done once in a blue moon, as opposed to regularly. He does, however, add that nothing adds meaning to our lives such as kicking that duvet cover and being up and about creating a life of meaning. He also highlights the importance of constantly checking in one’s mental health state, so as to avoid sinking into a mood disorder without being aware of it.

      Changing your sleep schedule drastically ultimately does more harm than good for your mental and physical health, says Mnyaka. Per a 2019 Harvard Health report, “too much sleep can lead to too little energy.” Why is that? “Because it appears that any significant deviation from normal sleep patterns can upset the body’s rhythms and increase daytime fatigue,” according to the report. That said, Mnyaka agrees with Molalogi-Makau re: setting a limit to how much time time you’re going to spend in bed, as well as mapping out exactly what you’ll be doing.

      Among some of the activities he suggests are reading, watching a series, colouring in, sewing in buttons (time to own a sewing kit!) or a catch-up video call with a loved one. “It’s also very important to mention that just because a health trend has attracted billions of views doesn’t necessarily make it a healthy solution. People really need to start scrutinising

      READ MORE: 20 Fitness Apps To Kickstart Your Wellness Journey

      A Problematic Title, Maybe?

      Perhaps worth asking is – why is resting referred to as rotting, when the former is actually a good thing (and especially when self-care/resting comes in many forms? What’s self-care to one person may not work for another individual and such is the case with many subjective practises. TikTokers are probably rolling their eyes this very minute and thinking – what’s in a name, anyway? If there’s anything that we should take away from the bed rotting trend, it’s that aimless and unplanned rest – especially in a culture that praises busyness over relaxation – is completely healthy and okay. We’re allowed to take care of ourselves, the best way we know how. More

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      How Dyslexia Led Me To A Thriving Career In Art

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      Lerato Motau’s art career is testament to the fact that life is never to be measured by what we lack or can’t do. This also happens to be a lesson that she has instilled in her two daughters – one of whom is dyslexic just like her. Things started unfolding when Lerato Motau; an artist who employs paint and embroidery in her work; was in Grade 8. Aged 16, she had just failed Grade 8 for the third time when her mother was called in by the school to inform her that: “Something is wrong with your daughter.” 

      READ MORE: Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

      The school insisted that she consult an educational psychologist. The year was 1990 and such services were few and far in between.

      “My mother took me to Baragwanath Hospital (now Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital) where luckily, they’d soon be having an educational psychologist from the UK consulting for them. “Following a range of tests, the educational psychologist diagnosed me with dyslexia and explained that a remedial school wouldn’t work for my condition,” she recalls.

      Dyslexic as a teen, Lerato’s self-esteem took quite a knock while her anxiety peaked. Confused, she kept asking herself: “How will I navigate the world? What would my peers think of me? How am I going to explain myself?”

      But as the saying goes, nothing beats accepting a situation for what it is. 

      Enter Art

      Lerato’s mom enrolled her at the Johannesburg Art Foundation in Saxonworld, Johannesburg. Here, Lerato realised that while she couldn’t express herself using the written word, she did far better in oral exams and when creating things with her hands. “Art school taught me to speak up and boosted my confidence because I clearly had a talent and could finally do something right. The lecturers were really attentive to students’ needs which made me feel comfortable in class.

      “Making art made me feel talented. I majored in painting. I graduated with a Fine Arts and Teaching Diploma Enrolled in 1994 and later enrolled for a Craft Enterprise qualification at the Craft Council where we were taught how to run our art like a business. In 2005, I did another short course in basic embroidery. In the same year, I attended a handmade felt making workshop which included crocheting and knitting,” she explains.

      In fact, it was during this very workshop where she remembered just how much she loved needlework in primary school and years later, it was beneficial. “In that moment, I remembered that nothing ever happens by chance,” she muses. 

      READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

      Stitching Stories Together

      Lerato started making art in 1996 after being introduced to an art collector by a friend and mentor. With all the skills she had learned, Lerato experimented with textile art, choosing to fuse painting with embroidery. “Every stitch goes through a journey and every artwork tells a unique story,” she says. Lerato has since had two solo exhibitions since the start of her career in 2010 and 2022 respectively. She’s also been commissioned by many corporates to create her unique pieces for display at their offices – among them SAB, Nandos London, ABSA, FNB, Pikitup, BRT Maraisburg bus station, Exxara (previously Eyesizwe), FNB, The Leonardo in Sandton, DBSA (Botswana) and the North West University satellite campus located in the Vaal.

      She also teaches kids basic embroidery and art with the aim that they will grow up knowing that academia is not the only path to success. Her work has also been showcased at international exhibitions – her most recent being at the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, where her gallery Art in the Yard went on her behalf. 

      Overcoming Dyslexia

      “When my first daughter was born, I couldn’t spell nor write her name. When I was younger, my mom would write basic information for me in a diary. Dyslexia affects the most basic things, things that many take for granted,” explains Lerato, adding that she can’t read English, Setswana and Afrikaans but she’s sharp with numbers.

      Lerato still keeps a diary where she writes the basic info that she needs daily – and that makes life easier. For instance, when she has to fill out a form, she’ll write down all the info in her diary and then copy everything across. For work, she makes notes with every piece that she creates and has a friend who writes all her proposals. “When I knew that I’d overcome dyslexia was when she taught her daughters how to read using the sounding out method. When my eldest daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of four, I had long spotted the signs and was determined to help her overcome it early,” she enthuses.

      Her eldest daughter is currently in her second year at university. And unlike in her own case where dyslexia affected her self-esteem, Lerato always urges her daughter to explain dyslexia to those who don’t understand and share her story to inspire others. “I always encourage parents to take teachers’ feedback seriously –  thinking that your child is being victimised may be a waste of the child’s life/time. There are so many resources and professionals who are well equipped to help children co-exist well with dyslexia.”

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      Lessons Learnt

      Where dyslexia is concerned, there are still a lot of myths that need to be demystified. “There are many successful and famous people, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Branson and Tom Cruise amongst others, who have overcome dyslexia. When I tell my story to people who don’t know me, they immediately assume that I’m disabled then turn around and ask how dyslexia works because I seem complete,” she says, adding that she’s learnt to not judge people based on their looks.

      Second to that, Lerato always remembers how far she’s come and has committed to laughing and smiling regularly.

      “I once saw a meme that said, ‘when we laugh, our bodies don’t recognise that there’s nothing funny happening’.” Lastly, she credits her healthy state of mind to therapy. “If it weren’t for therapy, I’d still be angry at the teachers and everyone else who used to make fun of me.” 

      Below is some of the art Lerato created from scratch for the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, which opened on 18 October 2023.

      To buy her art or to organise a private viewing, contact Lerato on Facebook (Lerato Motau) and Instagram (LeratoMotauStudios).  More

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      These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

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      From the outside, it looked as if Tenise Hordge, 39, had it all. After spending 18 years climbing the corporate ladder, the engineer had the impressive title, big salary and corner office. But she wasn’t happy.

      After her daughter was born prematurely in 2017, she began to feel adrift at work. Who cares about this title I have? she remembers thinking. It didn’t help her carry her baby to full term. The money was not helping her daughter come home from the hospital sooner. Then came 2020. Hordge was exhausted, in so many ways. “I didn’t want to continue being this person I no longer was,” she says.

      You might call it an identity crisis, but psychologists would describe what Hordge was going through as a crisis of purpose.

      What does that actually mean?

      Purpose is a driving force in your life that connects you to values and ideals bigger than yourself, says psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a WH advisor and the author of Nervous Energy. Some prioritise crushing it in their careers. Excellence is a value, “so the drive to be excellent as a professional can be a purpose,” says Carmichael. But purpose can also take other forms—you may be motivated to devote yourself to religion, create art, or advocate for a social cause.

      “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances.”

      All this may seem a bit abstract, but research shows purposeful living has a real impact on our well-being. Not only are those who move through life with a defined purpose more likely to stay happy in their jobs, but they are also better at keeping up with regular health screenings and less likely to have anxiety and depression. A strong sense of purpose has been linked to greater longevity too.

      It can be good to intentionally rethink and renew your purpose periodically throughout your life. This helps you stay in tune with what’s important to you at different points in time. FYI: Adults are more likely to feel happy with their life if they have a purpose and concrete strategies to carry out that purpose, a study in Frontiers in Psychology found.

      On that note, let us introduce you to a process called “life crafting.” It involves actively reflecting on your life via writing and thinking exercises—then setting goals to make changes so that how you spend your time aligns with what you value most, says Michaéla Schippers, a professor of behaviour and performance management at Rotterdam School of Management at Erasmus University in the Netherlands, who coined the term.

      You’re prompted to take an honest look at your passions, skills and even social life. “For a lot of people, without realising it, they find they are working a certain job or living in a way their parents wanted for them or what they think society demands of them,” says Schippers.

      Life crafting involves actively reflecting on your life—then setting goals to make changes.

      In Hordge’s case, it definitely took time—and a lot of planning—to figure out her next steps. Hordge wanted to help new moms navigate the challenges she faced, especially in breastfeeding. When her daughter was in the NICU, having a lactation consultant made a huge difference. She decided that was what she wanted to do and nailed down the specifics of how to turn it into reality. First, she used her bonus to cover a year’s worth of expenses. She and her husband paid off their car loans and debts. She found a certification program near her family so she could complete her clinical hours and have help with her two children. She found a lawyer and set up an LLC. Hordge now runs her own business helping new moms.

      “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances,” Schippers says. “But what’s really important is that you have to set aside time to focus on it. It’s something you create for yourself. You’re the only one who can do it.”

      The good news is anyone willing to put in the effort can reap the benefits of life crafting. Keep reading for a step-by-step guide with exercises from experts to find your spark, design your future and set a unique and fulfilling vision in motion.

      READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

      1. Get to Know Yourself

      The first step is clarifying your values. “My biggest piece of advice is to relearn yourself,” Hordge says. “Once you understand who you are, you’ll know what’s important to you.” The cultural obsession with status or achievement drives many to go after the next pay raise or better title versus something truly meaningful to them. “For high-achieving women and especially women of colour, we’re valued and judged by what we do and not who we are,” says Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, MD, founder of Melanin and Medicine. “That allows people to do all these things because of positive reinforcement from others without asking, ‘Is this what I really want?’”

      Explore Your Values

      Organising your thoughts in writing is key, per research. Ideally, you want to identify a passion that aligns with your values. So, from the two prompts below, pick one that speaks to you and write a short essay to discover where you stand:

      Look to the past. Your past experiences shape you, sure—but they can also teach you a lot about your purpose. “Look back at the moments in your life that have been meaningful to you,” Dr. Uwemedimo says. “That can help you find what brings joy and lead you to where you should put your focus.”

      Look to the future. Think about what kinds of relationships you’d like to have in your private and professional lives and what kind of career you want. Also, become aware of your current habits and skills while reflecting on the ones you adore or want to develop. That’s the first step toward breaking old patterns and building new routines.

      2. Set Goals

      Research shows that goals that are aligned with values are better for overall well-being. So, once you clarify your values, you’re already halfway there. Now give some thought to how you might turn them into action. For Hordge, that meant a career change. But finding your purpose can also mean simply creating space in your life to do more of what brings you meaning. For example, if it’s being a parent, a goal may be to find a way to delegate more tasks so you can spend time with your family.

      Imagine the Alternate Universe…

      Fantasise what your life will look like if you don’t take any actions. This actually motivates you to follow through because you’re confronted with the consequences of doing the opposite. Ask yourself, “What would my future look like five to 10 years down the road if nothing changes?”

      …Then Prioritise

      Write a passage laying out your ideal life. How would you spend your days if there were no limits of any kind? When Schippers started assigning first-year students this exercise, the university saw a 22 percent decrease in dropout rates among those who wrote it. List specific goals that will help you achieve your ideal life, then prioritise them. Identify the stumbling blocks that could get in your way and write down how you might work through them.

      READ MORE: Can Manifesting Really Help You Smash Your Goals?

      3. Open Up

      Finally, announce your plans to the world, Schippers says. Sharing your goals increases accountability and makes it more likely you will achieve them. Post your goals on Instagram, or simply talk through them with your partner or friend.

      It’s also important to start a new conversation with yourself. Life crafting can help you cultivate what’s known as an “internal locus of control.” With it, you believe it’s within your control to shape and affect the outcome and experience you have in life.

      Visualise Your Success

      Once you get the ball rolling, spend a few minutes each day or week picturing yourself living the ideal life you wrote about in your essay. If your goal is to travel the world, you might imagine looking up at the northern lights or chatting with the locals in Rome. Then envision yourself messaging your 2023 self to let her know you’re proud of her. “This can help you feel connected to the person you aspire to be,” Carmichael says. “This way, your aspirational self feels more attainable.”

      This article by Amelia Harnish originally appeared in the March 2023 issue of Women’s Health. More

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      4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health Support

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      There are very few things in life that we can never tire of talking about. And mental health should top that list. This, in a country where the stigma surrounding mental health challenges is still met with nonchalant responses such as, “you’re being lazy” or “just keep pushing”, therefore making it harder for people to ask for help. At around a R1000 and more for a consultation, quality mental health care has become the reserve of those with deep pockets! 

      South Africa’s mental health culture still sees many people choosing to suffer in silence and embarrassment instead of speaking out. Other than private mental health specialists, there aren’t many free or affordable mental health resources to cater to the population. 

      A 2022 research paper published by the Wits/Medical Research Council Developmental Pathways for Health Research Unit found that “South Africans suffer higher rates of probable depression and anxiety than other countries”. This was also a finding recorded by the Mental Health of the World report 2021 which, through the lowest mental health quotient score in the world, concluded that South Africa had a masked mental health crisis. To help you along on your mental health journey, we have compiled a list of apps and social media platforms to lean on when hard times strike. 

      READ MORE: 5 Morning Routines That Actually Work, According To Science

      Fee: Free for individualsAvailable: Android and iOS usersPanda is on a serious mission: to empower people to be proactive with their mental health battles. The user-friendly mobile app features tailored content, assessments, one-on-one therapy sessions as well as anonymous group sessions where you learn on topics ranging from anxiety to depression (and everything in between). The app offers three care packages for individuals, employees and insurers. 

      Fee: R185 per consultation or R120 for an express consultationAvailable: Android and iOS usersWith guaranteed quality healthcare at your fingertips, Kena Health has made it easy to consult a doctor or mental health professional directly. The app connects patients to qualified healthcare practitioners for advice, diagnoses, prescriptions and referrals to specialists or another place of care. Their aim: to make quality health care accessible at a steal.

      READ MORE: It’s Official: Stress Makes Us Crave Junk Food

      Fee: FreeAvailable: Android and iOS users Developed by medical doctors, WHOLE empowers users with ongoing self-care focused on holistic wellness in its entirety. How do they do this? Through a fun way to build healthy habits that can help improve mental health. Experiment with over 100 science-backed activities to boost your happiness. Plus, useful tips that keep you balanced all day and measure your progress. 

      READ MORE: “Social media had me romanticising my mental illness and put me in a hole.”

      Fee: FreeAvailability: Not available as an app yetDeveloped by IT entrepreneur Pieter Oosthuizen, this online support group helps you achieve your mental health and greater self-awareness through sharing and conversations. “The benefit of joining a support group has been widely recognised by mental health professionals around the world,” says Oosthuizen, who was inspired to launch the platform by his own sister’s battle with depression and anxiety.

      “Working with my sister, we started developing a platform that would enable anyone wanting to join any type of support group for a mental health condition or for life coaching generally to do so in a way that’s convenient, secure and affordable. It has also been designed to protect their privacy by allowing them to hide their identity from the host and other group members should they choose to do so.”

      READ MORE: Actress Shannon Esra On Learning To Trust Her Intuition

      More habits to hone

      Over some past few years, several studies have deduced that being constantly plugged into social media increased anxiety and depression. Taking a social media break is helpful for our mental health, as per the research findings of study by the Penn State University, USA and Jinan University, China. If you’re able to silence your mind for a few minutes a day (or more), then meditation also comes highly recommended. Several studies have, in the past, found that practising mindfulness and meditation ultimately leads to decreased stress levels. To get you started, we suggest downloading Insight Timer, Breathe2Relax or Smiling Mind for some guided meditation and breathwork. 

      Click here for some mental health resources and support if you’re in South Africa.  More

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      Actress Shannon Esra On Learning To Trust Her Intuition

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      The South African actress, best known for her impressive catalogue of local and international productions such as I Dreamed of Africa, The Queen, The Gamechangers, The River, Still Breathing and, more recently, season 2 of M-Net’s Lioness, is finally allowing her intuition to take centre stage.

      “I’ve spent a great deal of time not listening to my intuition and it’s because I hadn’t understood the voice that was speaking to me,” she says.

      Recently, she’s become conscious of where her intuition resides in her body. “For the most part of my life, I liked bouncing things off of people that I trust. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known people or how close you are to them, they will only understand certain dimensions. Whatever message comes from your own intuition is for you alone,” muses Shannon.

      Staying Connected

      READ MORE: Banesa Tseki On How Yoga Gave Her A New Lease On Life

      The truest way to connect to herself? Tapping into what’s happening whenever her intuition nudges her. We spend much time receiving the bulk of our feedback from the outside world. And sometimes, we do so while ignoring our primal and instinctual knowledge of self – also forgetting that the brain and body are built for survival – notes Shannon.

      ”Clichéd as it may sound, what I know is that our instincts are never wrong.” Along with relying on her instincts more, Shannon is also invested in healing her past traumas through therapy. She has a Netflix feature Do Your Worst film that was released in March. The movie’s about a failing actress about to turn 40, who’s dealing with some seriously bad decisions.

      READ MORE: Why Toxic Positivity Is Harmful And What To Say Instead

      Shannon didn’t particularly resonate with the character much, apart from the very real fear of being an out-of-work actor. “The character, Sondra, is a complete dits but the reason I bring her up is because when I’m in the midst of a project, I kind of become the person that I’m playing,” she explains.

      “I think, in this very strange way, every character that crosses my path comes to inevitably teach and open me up to something in myself that might not have presented itself without their influence. Every character comes at exactly the right time – it’s as if acting is its own type of wonderful healing and evolving experience,” she explains.

      Closed Off

      Shannon goes on to explain that in her world, embracing a character has been much easier than being her true self. Therapy, she acknowledges, helped her realise that she’d been a shutdown human. She cites two events, in particular, that led to her being closed off. Number one: Her love-filled childhood where she never learnt how to process her feelings, nor establish her own boundaries.

      “This created a perfectionist mentality in me, something that has troubled me for a large part of my life.”

      READ MORE: 10 South African TikTok Fitness Accounts That’ll Give You ALL The Motivation You Need

      The second event was a six-year relationship that she recently got out of. “I didn’t realise the extent of how its trauma had affected me because I grew up with that ‘if it doesn’t bleed, it doesn’t hurt’ mentality, which created space for me to keep shoving things under the rug.” Right now, Shannon only cares about being real, flawed and engaging in authentic conversations.

      Going Forward

      Her goal going forward? “…To be as self-aware and present as I can possibly be and, of course, listen to my intuition when something doesn’t feel quite right.” More

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      “Social media had me romanticising my mental illness and put me in a hole”

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      Mental illness, once maligned and stigmatised, is now in a new era, with people proudly opening up about their struggles. But have we gone too far and romanticised mental illness to the point of making it desirable? WH investigates. 

      It started with a giggle. One post that really felt like it saw me. Saw my depression in ways I had never even considered. Before I knew it, I was scrolling through the entire feed, liking and commiserating with this shadowy account choc-o-block full of memes detailing my battle with depression with such levity, I felt that it might be all ok. Everyone struggles to get out of bed, right? None of us feel good about getting dressed? Doing the dishes? Going out?

      Mental illness, destigmatised

      That’s not to say that all social media use is detrimental to your mental health. Fairuz Gaibie, a clinical psychologist, notes it can be helpful. “Social media and mental health-related posts or information can serve an incredibly important and positive purpose,” she says. “Many individuals have finally recognised in themselves that they may be struggling with more than just the everyday struggles through identifying with a post and therefore realising that something more serious might be at play.” It’s also helped immensely with destigmatising mental illness. “Many feel incredibly heard and seen through posts that convey to them their very own experiences and struggles,” Gaibie says. 

      Bolstered by feeling like I was being seen, my scrolls through Instagram pages were endless. Instead of getting up and walking my dog, I found myself in a veritable scroll hole. I was looking for any sign that other people were struggling like me. They became bastions of my stance on my deteriorating mental health. That yeah, it was ok to lie around and stew about my lack of motivation to complete basic tasks like washing or going outside for a bit.

      I didn’t realise there was a problem until it was too late and I had imbibed the personality of the memes I was constantly digesting. I’d self-isolated for weeks and foregone my weekly workouts in favour of downing glasses of wine after getting through a tough workday. My texts to friends became darker, more worrying. When I sent memes to friends, the laughing emojis were lacklustre, with some even commenting, “Everything ok?”.

      What romanticising mental illness looks like 

      Turns out, romanticising mental illness is a well-established trend, not only on social media, but in movies and TV, too. Like how Elle Woods in Legally Blonde snaps out of her breakup-induced depression so fast? And becomes fabulous overnight? A girl can dream. Or how Lana Del Rey’s music makes depression seem romantic, beautiful and desirable. 

      One study notes the proliferation of mental illness online and how it forms part of creating an entire identity. “The presentation of the self, performed by a popular creator on TikTok, often implies that a mental illness diagnosis adds to their attractiveness and popularity,” the author notes. 

      Mental illness, but make it #trendy

      “Glamourising [or romanticising] mental illness is the move from what would otherwise be described as a life-altering and impacting condition into a ‘trend,” explains Zahraa Surtee, psychologist. “Many people use terms such as ‘anxiety,’ ‘depression’ and ‘bipolar’ freely on social media, stripping these terms of their true importance and disregarding the importance of considering it an illness, rather than a mere phase one experiences.”

      It’s a double-edged sword, notes Gaibie. “The comfort of seeing yourself and your struggles in a meme or article and knowing that many others go through similar experiences can be incredibly comforting and helpful,” she says. “Beginning to normalise these experiences to the extent of no longer realising the need to address and work on the struggles, however, is deeply problematic.”

      Compounding this, people with mental health disorders are drawn to social media at higher rates, per one study. “Studies have reported that individuals living with a range of mental disorders, including depression, psychotic disorders, or other severe mental illnesses, use social media platforms at comparable rates as the general population, with use ranging from about 70% among middle-age and older individuals to upwards of 97% among younger individuals,” the authors note. What we’re looking for? Community, encouragement; a sense of belonging. But the community can fast become something ‘trendy’ and dangerous instead of helpful. 

      What trivialising mental illness looks like 

      You might find yourself laughing off the serious side effects of your mental illness when you should seriously evaluate what’s going on. This could be taking stock of all the patterns and habits that are pointing to something bigger. “Due to the romanticisation of mental illness, especially in the online sphere, many tend to look at it as something trendy to label themselves with, without the informed opinion of a mental health professional,” says Surtee. It’s something echoed in many responses from friends. I asked them about the rising trend and whether or not it’s affected them at all. One friend texted back, “OMG ME AS A 15-year-old being obsessed with Jeffree Star and wanting to be emo and shit.”

      The side-effects 

      For context, Jefree Starr, in his early days, struggled with self-harm and this encouraged other people to do the same; made it seem cool. “He basically was a walking advertisement for self-harm and shit back in his early days,” my friend texted me. “Seeing that as a kid was confusing because on one hand, he was openly gay so that was nice to see, but then the other stuff…” It’s a slippery slope to a dark place.

      Romanticising mental illness can lead to trivialisation of the problem, says Kerry Rudman, founder of Brain Harmonics International and neurofeedback practitioner, who works with people struggling with mental illness. “This can take many forms, such as romanticizing the struggles of people with mental illness or portraying it as an essential part of a creative or artistic lifestyle,” she says. “It can also involve promoting harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about mental illness or portraying it as something that is easily overcome with quick solutions.”

      Prime example: me, thinking it’s totally ok to lie about all day and do nothing at all fed my unrealistic idea of life as something perpetually depressing, without getting help for what was an untreated depressive episode. “We run the risk of getting far too comfortable with mental illness or psychological distress; perhaps equating the fact that many have these struggles with it being the way things kind of just are and that this is acceptable. Just because something is very common (of which struggles like depression and anxiety are), does not mean that it is healthy to accept it,” explains Gaibie. 

      The way out 

      Psychologists see the rising trendiness of trivialised mental illness, too. “Ever since I joined social media, roughly about 10 years ago, I have witnessed only an increase in the ‘trending’ of mental illness online,” says Surtee. “Social media is not a guarded space and we don’t always have control over what we’re exposed to, leading many to gather false information about mental illness and causing them to wrongly self-diagnose. Hashtags like #broken, #thinspo, and #depressingquotes are largely popular and followed by millions on social media.”

      It’s also a catch-22 since people reach out to social media for mental health support, per one study.

      But it’s hard to control the kinds of content you’re fed, especially on Explore and For You Pages. From that study, respondents noted that they often felt overwhelmed by content and felt ‘out of control’ when it came to picking what they wanted (and maybe needed) to see on social media. The study also noted that once your algorithm starts feeding you the content you’re looking for (mental health content), it’s hard to stop that or opt-out, barring quitting the app altogether. 

      So how do we break out of doom-scrolling our way into another episode? 

      The pendulum can swing too far to the other end of the spectrum, from destigmatising mental illness to romanticising it. But there are steps that can be taken to ease your way into prime mental health. 

      Minimise screen time

      First, you might want to step away from the screens. “Social media is not a space to seek therapy or holistically educate ourselves about illness,” cautions Surtee. “It speaks largely in generalities and not to us an individuals.”  Digital detox, anyone? 

      Get professional help

      Are the memes you’re turning to getting darker? Are you using them as a crutch instead of engaging in real self-care? A therapist can help. “Seeking professional help can help you gain a more realistic understanding of the challenges,” says Rudman.

      Practise self-reflection

      “Check in with yourself and your thoughts about mental health,” says Rudman. “Check if your beliefs or attitudes about it are based on accurate information or if they are influenced by media or societal messages.”

      Clean up your feed 

      Notice how certain accounts make you feel. Do they make you feel uncertain about yourself, make you feel down? Unfollow those accounts and make space for positivity and upliftment rather than comparison. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Here’s How To Actually Do A Digital Detox, According To Experts

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      It’s 7 am. Your phone alarm goes off and, after snoozing for twenty minutes, you grab your phone. Inevitably, you’re littered with notifications: Uber Eats, that workout app you never open, WhatsApps from while you were asleep and some viral tweets are all demanding your attention. Of course, you open one and before you know it, it’s 8:30 am and you’ve got 30 minutes to be at your desk.  

      Like it or not, we’re humans enslaved to our digital devices. Come evening, mindlessly scrolling TikTok on mute while simultaneously watching Netflix is the norm. It feels impossible to just ignore every ping and vibration. It stands to reason, then, that our interests pique when someone says they’re taking on a digital detox. The international practice, used by celebrities, CEOs and regular people alike, allow us some distance from our devices.

      “It’s a period of time where you intentionally disconnect from technology, including phones, laptops, tablets, and social media, yes, that means even a quick WhatsApp,” says Melissa Lain, health coach.  

      But there’s more to it than that. Every time you open your phone, your brain is flooded with dopamine, the body’s innate reward hormone. It’s the same thing that makes you feel so satisfied after eating chocolate or winning an arm wrestle. But being exposed to it 24/7? That’s flooding our brains with the stuff, making us addicted to our tech. And, per a new survey, South Africans are spending upwards of three hours a day on social media alone. A digital detox, also called a dopamine detox, can help. “The idea is to take a break from the constant stream of information and stimulation that comes with being connected all the time,” says Lainn.

      How to tell when it’s time for a digital detox

      There are various signs that it’s time to shut down those reward centres for a while. First, if you’re spending excessive periods of time in a scroll hole, it’s time to put the phone down. Zahraa Surtee, counselling psychologist, notes that sleep disruptions – and checking your phone in the middle of the night – is also a tell-tale sign.

      Also, pay attention to how you’re feeling when you’re not on your devices, notes Melissa. “If you feel like you can never switch off, are constantly checking your phone or emails, even when there aren’t notifications buzzing, and feel overwhelmed by the amount of information you are consuming, it might be time for a digital detox,” she says. Zahraa agrees. Are you feeling anxiety when your phone’s not within reach? You’re likely in a dopamine rut. You might even find a feeling of disconnect with the real world, says Melissa. “If you find yourself spending more time online or watching other people live life rather than creating and experiencing your own, it’s a sign that you need to intentionally disconnect for a while and re-engage with the present moment.”

      Then there’s the physical ramifications: “Spending long periods of time in front of a screen can cause eye strain, tension headaches, neck and back pain, and other physical symptoms,” says Melissa.

      How to detox, digitally

      Zahraa sees digital detoxes as a way to carefully curate what you’re exposed to. “It’s not about giving up screen time completely,” she says. “Rather, it’s firstly about recognising that the media we consume DOES affect our mental health and the way we choose to show up in the world.” Spend some time curating your phone. Go through your apps and disable those notifications that annoy you, or that cause you to scroll endlessly. Do you really need a notification every time someone likes your Reel? “Just as we get to choose the type of foods we ideally want to nourish our bodies with, so we do get to choose the type of content we’d like to nourish our minds with,” says Zahraa. “Digital detoxes are ideally about spending screen time more mindfully and in moderation.”

      To Melissa, the digital detox you embark on can be individualised to you. “It can be as short as a few hours or as long as a week, or even more,” she says. “During this time, you commit to disconnecting from digital devices and focusing on other activities that promote stillness and well-being. Don’t overcomplicate it, an hour or two a day is a perfect way to start, especially when there’s load shedding.”

      Keen to try? Instead of using the time to stare into space, itching to check your phone or Netflix, try scheduling a tech-free activity. Maybe that’s a bubble bath, some colouring in time or just some tea and time with your thoughts. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      A Therapist Answers 6 of Your Questions Around Feeling Lonely at Christmas

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      Whatever your typical set-up around December the 25th – perhaps a chunky get-together with the extended family, a little celebration with a few key friends and fizz or a firmly ‘non-traditional’ takeaway from your local Chinese restaurant, Christmas can feel a little strained and sometimes lonely.

      The festive period is a core cause of the feeling, even though we’re allowed to all be together again this year, after the global pandemic. While covid might be largely gone, loneliness manifests in different ways, pandemic or not.

      To help you through, WH asked leading psychotherapist and author of This Too Shall Pass, Julia Samuel, to respond to some of your questions, musings and comments on feeling alone, this Christmas.

      READ MORE:Mindful Drinking: How More And More People Are Becoming ‘Sober Curious’

      How should I deal with Christmas loneliness?

      But first, there is some universal advice to root yourself in. Regardless of your situation, the below is likely to be a tonic, to some degree, in this bizarre time.

      Keep a routine

      ‘It helps to have regular routines that you can rely on that give you some certainty, so it might be structural routine of exercise before breakfast, or meditate after work,’ says Samuel.

      Just breathe

      ‘Both exercise and any breathing technique also reduce the anxiety caused by uncertainty, so you get double benefit. Intentionally choosing to do things that give you joy also helps manage uncertainty, so it might be listening to wonderful music as you cook.’

      Know what you can control

      ‘Recognising and jotting down the things you can change and influence and those you can’t is worth sticking on your fridge door,’ Samuel details.

      Remember that, even amid wild uncertainty, you are in control of some aspects of your life. ‘It is important to be proactive, make times for online connection and if possible real connection through walks together, even taking hot drinks that you can stop and drink together,’ she adds.

      ‘We need connection to others more than anything else. People need people and love in every form is vital medicine right now, we have to commit and work to have it, not wait for someone else to connect with us.’

      Scroll on for her response to WH readers who are feeling a little stuck, sad or solitary, at this time.

      READ MORE: How To Manifest Something From Start To Finish

      6 of your Christmas loneliness questions, answered

      1. ‘I feel sick about Christmas! I am alone and dreading seeing people with their families on Instagram. What should I do?’

      ‘I can understand that living alone is heightened over Christmas when you both imagine and see on Instagram families being together,’ says Samuel. ‘I wonder if you might contact an organisation that connects people in communities, young and old online and in person.

      ‘Another thing to note is that using our skill and agency to make something through painting or any kind of craft gives us both purpose and satisfaction, there are also many online craft meet-ups that you can join to discuss your area of interest.’

      READ MORE: If The Festive Season Stresses You Out, Try These Psychologist-Backed Coping Strategies

      2. ‘I am struggling with uncertainty. It looks as if Christmas will be very miserable this year and there’s a shortage of money through no work…’

      ‘The uncertainty and shortage of money make celebrating anything worrying. I wonder if you can schedule virtual meet-up with, say, four good friends to wish each other a happy Christmas.

      ‘I have been pleasantly surprised how meeting with a small number of close friends can feel intimate and enriching.’

      3. ‘My main concern is my 94-year-old mom, who lives alone, abroad. My sister is nearby and sees her a couple of times a day, but if there’s a bad snowstorm, she might not see anyone.’

      ‘I imagine not being with your mom on Christmas day is particularly hard, when the number of Christmases you are likely to have together in the future is uncertain.

      ‘Could you perhaps create a Plan B for your mother if there is a snowstorm – does she have a next door neighbour who she could ring and would agree to drop in, and could you agree a time you will telephone each other on Christmas day whatever the weather?

      ‘I would write and send her a card with a message of all that you feel about her, and memories of your happy Christmases of the past that she could open on Christmas Day.’

      4. ‘I lost my mom four years ago and she made Christmas magical. It’s not ever been the same again.’

      ‘Having memories of those very Happy Christmases with your beloved mom must be bittersweet.

      ‘I would create an annual Christmas ritual which reflects your mom and your love of her, maybe light a candle with flowers and a photograph of her that you can turn to at particular times or do something that connects you to her over Christmas.

      ‘Touchstones to memory are a way of expressing the love of the person who has died, for our love for them never dies.’

      5. ‘I think I will get depressed as I alone am expected to carry out all household chores. I used to have my friends as support, but, because I’ve not been in touch with them regularly through lockdown, they have left me.’

      ‘I can hear how hurt you are not being in touch with your friends, but I would suggest you draw on your courage and contact them and agree to reconnect. I am sure they would welcome hearing from you as they might well be feeling left and lonely too.

      ‘Partly it is about just daring, taking the leap to text or call and it is also cognitively recognising that the feeling of fear doesn’t in anyway match the reality of fear – feelings are not facts.

      ‘The worst that can happen is the status quo, they don’t respond, so you have lost nothing and may gain a friend so it is definitely worth the jump.’

      READ MORE: 21 Best Self-Care Gifts For Her That Go Way Beyond Face Masks

      6. ‘I have no family anyway and I think Christmas is over-amped as a time of togetherness – and that itself is the key cause of the seasonal loneliness.’

      ‘I wonder if you would find some sense of enrichment over a time that feels over-amped by volunteering on Christmas Day or around it? Helping others is both good for those that receive but also the giver.’

      *This article was originally published on Women’s Health UK More