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      12 Products That Will Help You Beat Seasonal Dryness

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      If you’ve been following any facet of The Everygirl, you may have come to the overwhelming conclusion that we are absolutely obsessed with the holiday season. The days of snuggling up with hot cocoa and watching Hallmark movies are in full swing, and as the last month of the year approaches, we welcome twinkling lights, cozy home decor, and Christmas cookies with open arms.In my daydreams of December, I’ve romanticized what winter looks like and I’ve forgotten to factor in one unfavorable downfall of crisp air and cool temperatures: dry skin season is upon us, and this year, we simply aren’t letting a dehydrated, itchy exterior ruin our winter. 
      Whether you’re like me and are already in the woes of seasonal dryness or simply want to stop dry skin in its tracks, it’s important to stock up on all types of moisturizers for the cold, harsh days ahead. I’ve tried approximately one million different products (give or take) that have claimed to lock in moisture to foster soft, glowing skin. After years of seasonally struggling with eczema, chapped lips, a peeling nose, and dry hair, I’ve built up quite the army of moisturizers to treat the most stubborn dry, rough, and dull skin in the game. 
      Check out these 12 holy grail products that have my back when my skin is *itching* for attention:

      Love Beauty and Planet
      Majestic Moisture Body Wash

      Your battle against dry skin starts in the shower. I use this Majestic Moisture body wash made of all-natural ingredients to scrub-a-dub without drying out my skin at step one.

      Nourishing Dry Body Oil

      I spritz this dry oil all over my body when I’m fresh out of the shower and in a rush (AKA every day). It’s lightweight and dries quickly so I can put my clothes on within two minutes of applying.

      Moisturizing Cream

      I have a lot of go-to moisturizing products, but this moisturizing cream is my absolute favorite. If I could fill up a bathtub of this stuff and take a cool dip in it every night, I would. I lather this on before bed and let it work its magic through the night.

      Hydrating Facial Cleanser

      Time and time again, I try new face washes and walk-of-shame back to this hydrating facial cleanser. The only downside to this guy is that it doesn’t lather up (sigh), BUT I continue to use it because it’s the only face wash that doesn’t leave me feeling like Spongebob in the beloved “Sandy, I need water” scene.

      KORA Organics
      Noni Glow Face Oil

      OK, I’m not usually one to splurge on beauty products; however, this is my one and only exception because 1) I’m absolutely obsessed, and 2) I find that a little bit of this product goes a long way. I started using this face oil last year, and now I will never use anything else. I use this after my toner/before my moisturizer and I look forward to using it. It smells amazing and leaves my face and neck glowing and so unbelievably smooth.

      Josie Maran
      Whipped Argan Oil Face Butter

      This whipped face butter is a dream. come. true. I use it as the last step of my nighttime skincare routine, and it’s basically dessert for my face. It’s hydrating yet non-suffocating and puts in WORK while I’m fast asleep.

      Like Butter

      I reach for this healing and soothing mask 2-3 times a week whenever my skin is looking dull and needs a pick-me-up. After cleansing, I apply this to my face, leave it on for 20 minutes, and dab off the excess if any remains. This stuff works really well on other areas of the body so when my eczema decides to show up uninvited, I’ll use Like Butter on my dry spots as well.

      Mrs. Meyer’s
      Lavender Hand Balm

      Dry hands, be gone! In addition to dry skin season, we’re also approaching the dreaded cold and flu season. That means we’ll be washing our hands even more frequently (yay!) and simultaneously drying them out (boo). This Mrs. Meyer’s lavender hand balm smells incredible, is soothing, and is conveniently portable.

      Lip Repair

      Speaking of products that follow me wherever I go, this Aquaphor lip repair is the lip ointment I’m currently using. By currently using, I mean actually using, right now, at this very moment. This powerful little tube will keep you from looking in the mirror and questioning “Did I black out while applying a mid-day, hot pink lip stain or are my lips just dry, red, and irritated?”

      Deep Conditioning Hair Mask

      If there’s one part of my beauty routine that I skimp on in the moisturizing department, it’s my poor, brittle hair. I’m adding this hair mask to my fall/winter beauty routine because moisturized hair makes for healthy, shiny, and bouncy locks.

      Bread Beauty Supply
      Hair Oil Everyday Gloss

      Unlike a lot of the hair oils I’ve tried, this hair oil is non-greasy and lightweight. This oil has been my answer to dried out hair, split ends, and frizz and it’s my new hair routine staple! More

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      in health and weelbeing

      5 Reasons It’s Important to Give Compliments to Other Women Who Are Total Strangers

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      Have you really even lived if you’ve never drunk complimented another girl in a bar bathroom? I mean, seriously. What is life without compliments from your best girl friends or random women in Target? Compliments have a way of making everyone involved feel good. It feels good to give compliments and make other people feel seen, valued, and appreciated. It feels good to give love, but sometimes it’s harder to receive it.  If you’re anything like me, it’s so much easier to uplift someone else. It’s easier to give people praises for big accomplishments or even their really cute outfit than it is to be on the receiving end of praise and compliments, but we should all practice giving and receiving compliments. Here’s why:
      1. What we admire in others, we can learn to foster in ourselves
      Sometimes we compliment people we admire because they do, wear, or accomplish things we don’t think we could. We admire them for their style, their flair, or their success. I’ve heard many women say they could never do or wear the very thing I’m doing or wearing, but why can’t they? They’re just as capable and just as beautiful. What we compliment in other people may be more about us than it is about them. What we notice and admire in others really could help shape our own desires and aid us in identifying which areas we’d like to improve, change, or try something new.
      Think about the things you’re most likely to compliment someone on. I find myself complimenting people’s outfit choices, shoes, accessories, and more. So, that helped me realize that the things I noticed about others, I needed to develop in myself. I started to wear the very things I liked on someone else and it helped me to develop my own unique style. Maybe you like how other people travel a lot. This may be your own subconscious telling you that you really desire to put some stamps on your passport. If you like how ambitious someone is, maybe it’s your cue to rev it up a notch and go after your dreams. Take some time to notice what you notice. Are you lacking in that area of your life? Are there things you’d like to change? Take the time to assess and see. 

      2. Complimenting someone else doesn’t take anything from you
      Conversely, as much as complimenting another person is about you, it also isn’t. Yes, you are beautiful and capable, but so is the next woman. Yes, you have impeccable style, but so does someone else. Complimenting someone else doesn’t take away from how great, powerful, or pretty you are. The spotlight is big enough for all of us. We can all be beautiful, stunning, and radiant at the same time. There shouldn’t be any competition amongst women, as we’re all different shapes, sizes, and colors. That’s the beauty of being a woman. Genuinely complimenting someone doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Complimenting someone else doesn’t steal the attention away from you in any way.

      3. We all need reassurance
      You never know, maybe she was skeptical about the shoes before she put them on. Or, maybe she was having a really bad day before you complimented her. It sounds cheesy, but spreading a little love can really go a long way. You could really brighten someone’s day without realizing it. I’m that girl who will walk up to a total stranger to tell her she looks pretty or compliment her dress. I love how people’s faces light up when you affirm them or tell them something nice about themselves. It does my heart some good to spread some positivity and, hopefully, it makes another person feel good in the process.

      4. You could make a new friend
      Girl, I can’t tell you how many times a simple compliment led to a budding friendship. When I lived all alone in the Bay Area, this is honestly how I made most of the friends. I’d be at the function alone and before I knew it, I’d be hanging out with a friendly group of girls for the rest of the night. I’ve met some really dope people just by being willing to step outside of my comfort zone and say something nice to someone. A single compliment would lead me from standing alone to dancing the night away with a few strangers, exchanging social media information, then meeting for lunch later that week. I met a group of friends at a Galentine’s Day Party two years ago. We still keep in touch and it all started with me complimenting Fana’s beautiful lavender faux fur coat while we waited in line for the bathroom. 

      5. You could learn a lot
      I can’t tell you how many times a simple compliment has yielded in a wealth of knowledge. I learn about cool shops, store sales, new restaurants, and more. More often than not, when I compliment someone’s clothing or shoes, they tell me where they got the item and how much it cost. There’s good info out there and sometimes a simple “Hey, girl! I love that shirt” will lead you on your next shopping spree.

      Complimenting each other should come naturally, but I know that for some, it’s a bit hard. Maybe you’re naturally shy or just not quite sure how to approach someone. It’s OK. Just take it slow. It doesn’t have to be an awkward experience. Complimenting someone as they pass by could really make a world of difference in your day and in theirs. We’ve all heard it before: women need women. I think women need the right kind of women; women who are genuine, supportive, loving, and helpful to one another. There are so many things in the world that can tear women down, but building a loving sisterhood with the next woman is just one small punch in the face of patriarchy. OK, maybe it’s not that deep, but still. Let’s all make an effort to build up the next woman, grow our network, and spread more love. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      10 Rituals I’ll Be Using to Stay Healthy During the Holidays

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      If the holidays were exactly like the carols we sing, the season would be a happy, peaceful montage of cozying up by the fire and riding in a sleigh. Unfortunately, that’s not all it is. It’s also a lot of traveling, busy schedules, spending half of your bank account on gifts, and stress-eating the yule log (what even is a yule log, anyway!?). If we’re not prepared, the holidays can leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and just plain unhealthy. As a holistic health coach, I’m currently working with clients to prepare their minds, bodies, and habits so that the holidays can be as enjoyable, stress-free, and healthy as possible. Here are 10 rituals that I’ll be using myself to stay healthy through New Year’s Eve that can help you stay healthy too:
      1. Ditching food rules
      I used to have the idea in the back of my head that pumpkin pie, croissant rolls, mac n’ cheese, and all the other holiday dishes I loved were “bad.” Sure, it was a special occasion, but eating what I wanted at Thanksgiving or Christmas always felt like I had to make up for it later, or since it was a one-time thing, I’d binge until I was sick. Since then, I’ve learned that there’s no such thing as “bad” or “good” when it comes to diet: some foods have more nutritional value than others, but you’re not “bad” when you want to eat something with less nutritional value. When we put a moral value on foods, what’s meant to nourish us becomes associated with guilt.
      De-mystifying holiday foods and permitting yourself to eat whatever you want helps you be more in better control of your food choices. This season, I will mindfully indulge, knowing I never limit or deprive myself, whether it’s the holidays or not. Therefore, I will choose to eat smaller portions and crave more nutritious foods because getting rid of food rules will stop the want-what-you-can’t-have allure that comes with labeling foods as “off-limits.”

      2. Focusing on adding more veggies
      Thanks to ditching food rules, you bet I will be enjoying mashed potatoes, cornbread, and pasta. But I also know that those foods just don’t make me feel good. After eating too much gluten, dairy, or sugar, I feel sluggish, uncomfortably bloated, and typically get stomach aches or headaches. To stay my healthiest self and enjoy this time with my family as much as possible, I’ll still eat whatever I want (totally guilt-free), but my focus for each meal will be on adding more veggies to the plate. Holiday side dishes like Brussels sprouts, sweet potatoes, and the salad that no one touches are filled with good-for-you nutrients that will make me feel energized and satisfied. I’ll fill up my plate with the nutrients my body needs, while still being able to enjoy the traditional holiday foods that I love. 

      Source: @alainakaz

      3. Getting extra sleep
      On holiday vacation, getting a lot of sleep is a given. I’m back in my childhood room, I’m wearing cozy AF pajamas, and I don’t have to wake up at 6:30am for work–the odds of good sleep are very much in my favor. Luckily for my health goals, that extra sleep is not just a perk of a national holiday; it can also help me stay healthy. Getting enough quality sleep is beneficial for many reasons, like improving mood and energy. Plus, sleep will help me make better food decisions. Cravings (especially sugar cravings) can be worsened by lack of sleep, so if you’re not getting a good 7-9 hours, that gingerbread cookie or pumpkin pie could sound a lot more appetizing. Bottom line: the holidays are a time of laughter and family, but I’m also using them as a time to rest and restore.  

      4. Moving my body every day
      Traditionally, I was the 60-minute-workout-class-or-nothing kind of girl. Previous years, I stopped working out whenever I was traveling or my beloved exercise studios closed for the holidays. But this year is going to be different. Back in March, when the stay-at-home order hit and all gyms closed down, I was forced to fit in movement however I could, rather than depending on expensive workout classes. I started to notice I was actually listening to my body–not only about when to workout, but how (does my body need to burn some energy and dance around the living room, or does it need a relaxing yoga session?).
      Now, movement is a part of my daily routine. I don’t do a workout class or yoga flow because I’m supposed to; I do it because it will make my mind and body feel good. And I wouldn’t want to give that feeling up, whether I’m in my normal routine or at my family’s house for Thanksgiving. Some days, that movement might look like an online workout class, while other days it will look like a walk with my mom or stretching on the floor while watching a Christmas movie. No matter what kind, movement has become a non-negotiable for helping me feel my best.

      5. Having snacks before big meals 
      Another sad habit younger Josie used to have: during a day like Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve when I knew I’d be eating a lot of food, I’d barely eat anything earlier that day so I could go to the meal super hungry. Part of it was thinking that feeling ~famished~ would help me enjoy the meal more, but mostly it was to “save calories” that I could then spend on the indulgent dinner.
      However, not only is limiting foods depriving your body of crucial nutrients, but if you’re hungry and blood sugar is low, you won’t be able to make decisions based on what your body really wants (not to mention the punch hits a lot quicker). Instead, I’ll be eating at least two meals pre-feast that are filled with protein, fiber, and healthy fats to prevent hunger and low blood sugar later in the day. I will also fit in some additional nutrients like carrots, celery, or leafy greens when I know the next meal would be less nutrient-dense (looking at you, Christmas-Eve fettuccine!).

      Source: @josie.santi

      6. Keeping up with a daily probiotic
      Being the health nut that I am, I have the most stereotypical amount of supplements (they take up multiple shelves). I always put adaptogens in my coffee, love experimenting with Chinese and Ayurvedic herbs, and have never met an all-natural label that I didn’t like. However, I’m not planning on lugging around massive pill cases and supplement bottles while traveling. Instead, I’ll be packing the one non-negotiable supplement that will help me stay healthy through the holidays: a probiotic. Probiotics help keep your gut healthy, which basically keeps the rest of your body healthy too: the gut is connected to the brain, the immune system, and even your skin. If you’re looking for a one-stop-shop for a healthy body, the gut is it. Taking a probiotic also helps me digest better, reduces bloat, and keeps me, um, regular. It’s worth the luggage room.

      7. Practicing intuitive eating
      Holiday meals are proof that we don’t just eat to survive or because something tastes good; we eat for enjoyment, social connection, ritual, and celebration. Instead of scarfing down food (as tempting as that is!), I’m focusing on using mealtime as a mindfulness practice. Whether it’s Thanksgiving dinner or a plate of Christmas cookies on the counter while you’re working from home, practice eating intuitively. Notice the smells and tastes of the food, take time to thoroughly chew, and feel thankful for the nourishment you’re receiving (’tis the season!). Notice how your body is feeling and stop when you’re no longer hungry. I try to practice intuitive eating all the time, but the holidays require extra focus to make meals sacred, mindful, and intentional. 

      Source: @tourdelust

      8. Making time for myself
      To my family (and most families), the holiday season usually looks like the McCallisters before a vacation: rushed, busy, and crowded. I have a big family, and we always like to fill the holidays with lots of togetherness, parties, and traditions. The holiday season in 2020 will look a little different: it will just be my parents and siblings instead of cousins, aunts, and uncles. We’ll also be staying at home instead of running around the city or traveling to see family. While I’m most excited to finally be with my loved ones again (I’ve been quarantined in LA for way too long!), I am also going to give myself time to be alone. Whether that means going on walks in the mornings or taking a bath before bed, making time for self-care (even during times when I’m not focusing on myself) will help keep stress levels low and improve how connected I feel to my body.

      9. Cooking for my family
      In my opinion, it’s possible to make every traditional holiday dish healthier. Even replacing conventional butter with organic butter reduces some of the added chemicals and toxins, or adding chopped spinach to the sauce can boost nutrients. Healthy cooking doesn’t have to sacrifice taste, and trying to eat healthier does not have to mean you forego your favorite foods.
      To me, healthy cooking is one way I show love. Call me weird, but making a quinoa dish for my dad or getting my lamb-chop-and-bourbon-loving grandma to eat some leafy greens makes me feel so happy. In my mind, cooking healthy dishes is like giving the people I love and want to live as long as possible the nutrients that help them do that. The fact that I get to eat those nutrients and delicious dishes too is just a bonus. Not sure where to start? Check out these plant-based Thanksgiving recipes that even your most critical aunt will love.

      Source: @ebethgillette

      10. Being open to new traditions
      I know I’m sounding like a broken Bing Crosby record at this point, but this holiday season is not going to look like holiday seasons of Christmas past. While that means missing out on a lot of happy traditions, it also means we have the opportunity to take a look at traditions that are no longer bringing us joy: rushed holiday shopping, expensive wishlists, and busy schedules.
      I also think it will be interesting to see what new traditions you can try out this year that might carry into next: taking a walk after dinner, baking pumpkin bread with your sister, playing in the snow, or a cooking a dish that’s so good, you’ll want to bring to every future Thanksgiving. With the removal of old traditions we’ve kept without question for years, we have the opportunity to incorporate new traditions that are not only good for our souls, but good for our bodies too. I’ll be taking this season to find some new worthwhile traditions, and I hope you will too! 

      What rituals are you using to stay your healthiest this season? More

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      15 Books to Read if You Need a Mental Health Boost

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      Some days we feel scared, some days we feel sad, some days we feel stressed, and some days we just feel blah. Luckily for us (and 2020), the best cure for a bad day is a good book (and maybe a tub of ice cream?). Whether you’re looking for an escape, some tangible advice, or major inspiration, there’s a book out there that can help boost your mood, reduce stress, and make you feel motivated. Forget laughter–these 15 books truly are the best medicine when you need a mental health boost (and some will make you laugh too). Add to cart or your Kindle cue now if you’re going through a tough time, to have ready for rainy days, or to gift to a friend that could use some extra inspiration. 

      Oprah Winfrey
      The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations

      So you need a little pick-me-up? The obvious answer: Oprah. Always. The very best “aha” moments from “Super Soul Sunday” are compiled into this deeply encouraging collection of interviews between Oprah and some of the world’s most inspiring leaders. If you’ve been lacking purpose, motivation, or feel lost, this is the book for you.

      John P. Forsyth PhD and Georg H. Eifert PhD
      Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

      If you feel like anxiety is taking over your life (who doesn’t in 2020?), this quick reference guide offers one simple tool or strategy for every single week of the year, so you can work to less stress and anxiety, one step at a time. There’s also some in-the-moment tips to stay calm when you’re having a particularly stressful workday or in an anxious state. By 2022, you could be totally stress-free!

      Lalah Delia
      Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power

      Looking for inspiration to tap into your inner power and become your best self? Instagram superstar, Lalah Deliah, put her self-help wisdom into this comprehensive book that teaches we have control over situations and our emotions. “Vibrating Higher Daily” helps you make intentional day-to-day choices that lift you out of mindsets, habits, and lifestyles that don’t serve you, and into ones that do.

      Gretchen Rubin
      The Happiness Project

      Gretchen Rubin set out on an entire year dedicated to happiness. The result? One of the most helpful and life-changing works of positive psychology that teaches us how to actually be happy. I love “The Happiness Project” because it combines personal anecdotes, scientific research, and wisdom from the past to help us not only achieve happiness, but re-examine what we all want out of life.

      Gabrielle Bernstein
      Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams

      Filled with tangible tools like the “Choose Again Method” for reframing negative and boosting your mood, “Super Attractor” is a more spiritual approach to a mental health pick-me-up, with essential tips to live in alignment with the universe to create the life that you want.

      Elaine Welteroth
      More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

      If you love memoirs, “More Than Enough” is the memoir that will simultaneously entertain you and boost your confidence, happiness, and purpose. Welteroth unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey, while offering advice to readers who need a reminder that they’re f*cking awesome.

      Good Vibes, Good Life

      You may have heard of Vex King from his killer Instagram posts that regularly go viral from their profound advice and relatable inspiration. His book is just as good as his Instagram, only with a little more detail. “Good Vibes, Good Life” draws from his personal experience and intuitive wisdom to help you practice self-care, cultivate positive habits, manifest your goals using tried-and-true techniques, overcome fear, and find a higher purpose to be a shining light for others. It’s like Oprah’s book club for millennials.

      Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
      The Book of Joy

      Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama have faced major hardships, yet continue to radiate love, compassion, and even humor despite what they’ve been through. The two inspirational icons dive into the topic of joy: how do you find it in the face of suffering, and when you do find it, how do you keep it? Read if you’re looking for some serious inspiration or need a little extra joy during a very hard time.

      Michael A. Singer
      The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

      The perfect combination of psychology and spirituality, “The Untethered Soul” delves into what we can do to free ourselves from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit our consciousness and hold us back. By the end of the book, you’ll not only understand yourself better than you ever have, but you’ll feel in control of your emotions (yes, even stress, anxiety, and worry).

      Carissa Potter
      It’s OK To Feel Things Deeply

      If self-help books aren’t really your style and you need some real-time support, this cheeky (but helpful!) book is the perfect option. With practical tips, genuine empathy, helpful honesty, adorable illustrations, and relatable humor, it’s full of support when you need a little extra love. It also makes a great gift for a friend going through a tough time.

      Elizabeth Gilbert
      Eat, Pray, Love

      Even if you haven’t read this modern classic yet, you’ve probably seen the blockbuster hit with Julia Roberts that made you want to move to Bali and eat pasta (simultaneously). This memoir is always a go-to read for me when I’m feeling stuck or complacent. Especially in 2020 when we’re literally stuck, it not only offers an escape, but there’s something about a realistic happy ending that makes me feel hopeful, even when I’m feeling lost.

      Marianne Williamson
      A Return to Love

      Maybe it sounds cheesy, but the key to happiness, stress reduction, and a constant good mood? Williamson makes the case that the answer is love. She shows us how love is a potent force, the key to inner peace, and how, by practicing love for other people, we can make our own lives more fulfilling. This is one of those books that changes you, so get ready for a life-altering read.

      Jenny Lawson
      You Are Here: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds

      A combination of inspiration, therapy, coloring, humor, and advice, this book is filled with intricate illustrations and life advice on how to cope. The writing is both humorous and incredibly honest, so “You Are Here” will be a tool to help you deal with tough life situations in a confident, creative, and happier way. Read if art is therapeutic to you.

      Shonda Rhimes
      Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

      Yes, THAT Shonda Rhimes: the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal,” and basically all of our other favorite shows. In this inspiring book, Rhimes opens up about the year she decided to say “yes” to everything. Spoiler alert: the results are life-changing. Read if work is bringing you down or you’re not sure what you’re meant to do with your life.

      What’s your go-to book to read when you need a pick-me-up? More

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      48 Hours Only: Our Favorite Wellness Gifts Are 30% off

      by

      It isn’t news that we love CBD around here. Whether it’s to calm the Sunday scaries, relieve sore muscles, soothe period cramps, and more, we’ve pretty much all added CBD to our daily routines in one way or another. The only problem is that CBD can get a little expensive, especially if you’re choosing a high-quality formula. But no fear this holiday season, our favorite CBD from Equilibria is on a major sale right now! *EEP!* For the next two days, Equilibria is offering 30 percent off your entire order when you purchase a holiday set. Snag a set for yourself and one for a loved one (we’ve personally found moms, brothers-in-law, neighbors, best friends, and caregivers to love it!), and you’ll already have some of your holiday shopping done in one fell swoop. If you’ve had your eye on a holiday set or wanted to try Equilibria on a budget, now’s your time to shop! New to CBD? Here are our editors’ favorites and how we use them. 

      when you purchase a holiday set

      Holiday Sets
      Source: Equilibria

      Equilibria
      Season of Intention Gift Set, $132

      $244 value
      What’s included:- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Daily Softgels, 10MG/30CT- Cranberry Elderflower Daily Drops, 300mg/30ML (Limited Edition)- NEW! Daily Treatment Oil for Face + Body, 500mg/1OZ- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Joy of Sleep Gift Set, $90

      $176 value
      What’s included:- Spiced Bergamot Daily Drops, 300MG/30ML (Limited Edition)- Daily Softgels, 10MG/30CT- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Luxury Sleep Mask- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Comfort of Calm Gift Set, $69

      $152 value
      What’s included:- Mindful Mineral Soak, 200MG/8OZ- Relief Cream, 500MG/1OZ- NEW! Daily Treatment Oil for Face + Body, 250MG/0.5OZ- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Equilibria
      Peace of Mind Gift Set, $55

      $128 value
      What’s included:- Cranberry Elderflower Daily Drops, 300MG/30ML (Limited Edition)- Dynamic Roller Duo, 75MG/10ML/Roller (Calming/Energizing)- Exclusive artist-designed holiday pouch- 5% of sale benefits Black Girl Ventures

      Editors’ Favorites:
      Source: Equilibria More

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      10 Things to Do This Week for a Healthier Relationship

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      Many people spend so much time looking for that “spark” or feel like it’s Happily Ever After once they’ve found The One, that they forget a relationship doesn’t just sustain itself; it needs work, like any worthwhile achievement in your life. If the word “work” is enough to get you sweating RN, don’t panic. The good thing about relationship work is that it should be enjoyable, fulfilling, and worthwhile when you’re with the right person. Since we’re all busy, stressed, anxious, and probably can’t think beyond seven days from now (nope, just me?), here are 10 simple things you can do today to have a healthier relationship by the end of the week: 
      1. Do one thing you did when you were first dating
      There’s a lot of perks to a brand new relationship: butterflies, long conversations getting to know each other, can’t-keep-hands-off-each-other chemistry. And then there are the perks of a long-term relationship: feeling comfortable and secure, always having a plus-one, and never having to shave your legs. What if I told you that you could bring back some pros of the beginning of your relationship? Think back on the routines you and your partner had at the beginning. Maybe you gave more compliments, dressed up to impress them, or went on more creative dates than takeout and Disney+. This week, try to bring back at least one of those rituals, jokes, or dates to spark the long conversations, butterflies, and chemistry you had at the beginning. 

      Source: @taylranne

      2. Talk about money
      It is probably the most unromantic topic, but relationship experts agree that money issues are one of the leading causes of divorce. Normalizing the money talk and getting on the same page early on can not only prevent finances from becoming an issue in the future, but it can also strengthen your trust and intimacy. While it may not be something you look forward to, schedule a time to go through and pay bills together or have a conversation about saving up for a house or dividing up pet expenses. If you’re in a newer relationship and don’t have any shared responsibilities or finances, you can still have the money talk by chatting about your individual money goals and spending habits. 

      3. Ask “how was your day?” every day
      One of the simplest and most important things you could do to improve your relationship is to ask your partner, “how was your day?” and actually care about the answer, rather than letting the question become routine. Perfect the art of conversation: know how to make your partner feel heard, ask follow-up questions instead of just listening to what they have to say, and share your opinions or thoughts (only) once they’re done sharing with you. When your partner feels like you care about more than you have to and want to be a part of everything they do, it subconsciously creates a new level of teamwork, love, and intimacy. 

      4. Practice giving (and receiving) constructive criticism
      If you’re in a healthy relationship, you should both feel safe and accepted. And if you feel safe and accepted, it’s probably easier for you to receive constructive criticism than in other friendships or familial relationships. The point of constructive criticism is that you’re working as a team and covering each other’s blind spots to become your best relationship and best selves. It’s the cliché that two heads are better than one, and giving supportive input builds trust, care, and teamwork.
      Give your partner a suggestion on how they can improve their work presentation, or let them know they should call their sister more often. Likewise, ask them how you can improve a project at work or how they would handle a situation with a friend differently. What’s not OK? Criticizing what your partner cannot change, like their personality traits or needs. If you’re worried about constructive criticism (or it turns into an argument), either you’re going about it more critical than constructive, or your relationship might need some more growth. 

      Source: @babybaileymamadrama

      5. Schedule sex
      Yes, really. While many people think that scheduling sex takes the spark away and turns it into a chore, if you’ve ever been in an LTR, you know that spontaneous sex just doesn’t happen with a busy schedule, putting kids to bed, or working late every night. And even if it does, it still feels like a chore (let’s hurry up, we’re waking up in five hours!). Just as you schedule workouts and meetings, scheduling sex is another way to stay connected and prioritize intimacy. Plus, it ups the anticipation when you know it’s coming, and you might even want to “remind” your partner throughout the day for some bonus romance points (not my fault if they have a hard time concentrating at work!). 

      6. Look at arguments as if you’re a third party
      The OG love life hack, called “The Marriage Hack,” became a viral sensation for a reason. Essentially, the fancy term means viewing conflicts and disagreements through the eyes of a third party who wants the best for all involved and realizing the obstacles each person faces when trying to think from a different perspective. This method lessens the emotions of a situation by reframing it in a way that allows you to not only understand your partner, but how to solve the problem. It’s like DIY couples therapy! Whether you’re in a marriage or a brand new relationship, the Marriage Hack can help reframe how you communicate and resolve arguments. 

      7. Read together
      You know that final scene in Notting Hill where Hugh Grant is reading a very intelligent-looking novel on a park bench while a gorgeously pregnant Julia Roberts lays on his lap and watches kids play (oh yeah, and they’re holding hands)? It’s rom-com gold, yes, but it’s also a scene I think about often. Even though they were spending time together, they must have had such interesting things to talk about afterward: what Hugh read about or what Julia saw while watching kids play. Whether you read the same book separately or read at the same time to “spend time together without actually spending time together,” à la Hugh and Julia, reading stimulates meaningful conversation and a deeper bond.
      Especially if you’ve been quarantined together with nothing to talk about except for which Netflix show to watch next, the novel you’ve been dying to read or your partner’s favorite book from college will form a closer connection and create exciting conversation. Bonus: it’s way easier to get the book club together when it’s just you and your significant other.

      Source: @missenocha

      8. Have a check-in
      While it may sound cheesy, couples who have regular check-ins are typically more in-tune and better at communicating. Think about it: you have a check-up with your doctor to keep your body healthy, so you need a check-in with your significant other to keep your relationship healthy. Schedule a time where you’re both free from work or the kids are occupied, and check in with how the other is feeling with different aspects of the relationship. Cover topics like workload and housework (and whether or not you feel like they’re being equally shared), if you’re satisfied with how the other one is expressing love languages, and one thing the other person can do this week to make you feel more loved in your relationship or happy in your life. 

      9. Apologize before you “need” to
      I have a lot of personal problems with the classic romance film, Love Story, #1 being that no, love does not mean never having to say you’re sorry. Love means saying you’re sorry a lot because you care about your loved one’s feelings more than you care about being right. FYI, apologizing whole-heartedly means acknowledging the other person’s feelings, taking ownership, and then offering a solution to ensure you’ll never do it again (yes, I do remind my boyfriend quite often that this is what an apology is supposed to look like). To make your relationship healthier by the end of the week (it’s that effective!), apologize whole-heartedly before you even need to, meaning before your partner is looking for an apology.
      Think of ways you recently could have been a better partner but fell short. Say, “I’m sorry I haven’t done my fair share of the chores this week,” or “I’m sorry I haven’t been a good listener lately.” Even if your significant other has not acknowledged it, let them know that you’re prioritizing their feelings without them asking. Bringing “I’m sorry” into more than just arguments will strengthen your bond because not only will you start noticing what your significant other needs before they have to ask (or fight), but it will allow your partner to feel seen, appreciated, and cared for. 

      10. Celebrate something
      Even if there’s not an anniversary or birthday coming up, your relationship deserves a good celebration (2020 is almost over–need I say more?). Relationships can feel mundane when you’re going through everyday routines without stopping to acknowledge where you are or how far you have come. Take some time this week to celebrate a work promotion, a monthiversary like you used to do back in the day (double points for #1), or just to celebrate your lives together. No matter your reason, popping some champagne, cooking your favorite meal, or making a normal night feel special will help you feel gratitude for the person you get to celebrate life with. Cheers! 

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      Stressed? Try These 10 Simple Things

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      In 2020, it seems like the #1 factor we all have in common is stress. Especially as women, we’re always doing it all (whatever “it all” means): making time for loved ones, working full-time jobs, creating side hustles, and helping those in need while we’re at it. Throw in a terrifying election, global pandemic, and the upcoming holiday season, and chronic stress feels more like normalcy.Even though mandatory isolation might have made you feel otherwise, you are not alone. Whether it’s scheduling an appointment with a therapist or utilizing online resources (some of our favorites are Talkspace, BetterHelp, and Therapy for Black Girls), you can take action to lower stress levels. In the meantime, here are 10 simple ways you can feel OK right now, even if nothing else does.

      1. Be mindful about your mornings
      Waking up in itself is a stressful experience. Even if you don’t have the snooze-twice-while-getting-up-at-the-crack-of-dawn routine and actually wake up well-rested, our minds go straight to all the things we need to accomplish that day. Put off the mental to-do lists with a stress-relieving morning routine as a non-negotiable way to start your day. Don’t check your phone or email until you’ve gone through a skincare routine, meditation, gratitude journaling, or at least brewing a cup of coffee, and fill the 30 minutes after you wake up with rituals and routines that you’ll look forward to.
      If you don’t have the time or luxury to fit in 30 minutes of you-time (because of an early start-time or kids that wake you up), even just spending one minute lying in bed and telling yourself it’s going to be a good day can help. Bottom line: be mindful about your mornings, and the rest of the day will feel more manageable as well. 

      Source: @mylittlebooktique

      2. Schedule multiple one-minute breaks in your day
      Even if you feel energized, calm, and motivated until that afternoon slump, we often don’t realize the stress that accumulates starting first thing the morning. To keep stress from building up, schedule one-minute breaks throughout the day. Whether it’s on the hour, every 20 minutes, or after each important task you complete on your to-do list, just taking 60 seconds to close your eyes and take deep breaths can be enough to let go of the stress and tension that piles up throughout your day. Better yet, visualize the stress leaving your body, relax your shoulders (and other tension areas), or repeat a mantra while taking your one-minute break.  

      3. Light a candle
      That’s right: your stock of pumpkin spice candles is not only good for girls’ nights in. Diffusing essential oils or burning a candle will invigorate your senses, and anything that sparks your senses can help keep your mind more grounded and connected to your body. Plus, according to aromatherapy, scents like rosemary, lavender, peppermint, ylang-ylang, and lemon can help with stress relief, so look for one of these scents in essential oil form to diffuse or smell from the bottle for instant relaxation, or find candles with notes of lavender or peppermint to light throughout the day. 

      Source: @citychicdecor

      4. Make a list of the top 10 sources of stress
      Many people avoid facing their stress, or sweep it under the rug until it comes out in moments that wouldn’t typically cause high-stress, like your roommate leaving dishes in the sink or your boss scheduling an extra meeting. Spend a few minutes identifying and writing down the top 10 sources of stress in your life. Once you know where your stress is coming from, you’ll be able to find solutions. You can even go so far as to take your #1 stressor and come up with five things you can do right now that can minimize it (and then do them). If you find that some of your stressors aren’t solvable, you can begin to accept what cannot be changed. Even accepting life circumstances as they are can help ease stress, even if you cannot necessarily fix them. 

      5. Take a walk
      Being active and exercising has been shown to significantly reduce stress, and the easiest way to be more active throughout the day is to go on more walks. Looks like your Fitbit was onto something: getting in your steps has many physical and mental health benefits. Plus, it’s not only good for your stress levels, but it’s enjoyable and easy to fit into a busy schedule (so another thing on your to-do list won’t cause you more stress). Whether you schedule a walk on your lunch break or walk around the block whenever you start to feel stress levels rise, cue up a podcast, grab a warm jacket, and get outside for an instant stress-reliever. 

      6. Drink less coffee (or switch to decaf)
      Your morning cup of coffee might be a non-negotiable for feeling like a normal human before 9am, or an afternoon latte might help you push through that slump, but bad news: it might also be affecting your stress. Everyone has varying thresholds for how much caffeine they can tolerate, so while coffee is beneficial for some people,  it can increase stress and anxiety for others by stimulating the fight-or-flight hormone associated with increased energy. If you notice that caffeine makes you jittery or anxious, consider cutting back or sticking with decaf. If you’re not sure because coffee is such a daily ritual, try going a day or two without any caffeine to see if you notice any difference in stress levels. 

      Source: @demidiamandis

      7. Meditation
      I feel like the word “meditation” is so overused in the wellness space that it has become the all-encompassing go-to for any ailment or wellness woe. But just because you may hear about it everywhere doesn’t mean you should disregard it. Deepak Chopra, MD often talks about “equanimity,” or the ability to stay calm in chaos. It’s basically a fancy way of saying stress levels stay low, even when the exterior factors are stressful (like a busy work week, terrifying election, or a global pandemic).
      The goal of meditation is, in fact, to find peace, even in stressful situations. Just because a lot is going on externally does not mean it has to affect our internal state. Meditation gives us the tools to do this because it helps us act with intention, rather than impulse. Whether it’s in the morning, at night, or during the day, start up a meditation practice so stressful situations don’t affect your personal stress. 

      8. Say “no” when you mean “no”
      Sure, not all stressors are under your control, but many are. Reassess where you’re dealing with avoidable stressors. For example, have you helped a coworker finish their project and are therefore pushed on time to complete your to-do list? Good for you for being a selfless employee, but you’re not helping the company if you’re spreading yourself too thin. Tell the coworker what time works best for you, rather than dropping everything for the time that works for them, or say you’re pressed for time and suggest another coworker or intern that would have more time. That also goes for babysitting your neighbor’s cat while they’re away or making plans with friends when you really want a night at home. Learn to say “no” when you mean “no,” and cut out unnecessary tasks from your to-do list.

      Source: @taylranne

      9. At bedtime, think of all the things that went right that day
      Our minds are good at focusing on what we didn’t accomplish, what went wrong during the day, or what we have to get done tomorrow. While that’s great for keeping your work schedule organized, it’s awful for stress and anxiety (and often prevents us from getting a good night’s sleep). Counteract the thought process that most of us have before bed by making a mental list of all the things that went right that day. Maybe you accomplished a difficult task, finally finished the project that’s been taking you forever, or got a compliment from your boss. Or maybe you just got through the day, and that’s an accomplishment enough. Bottom line, take time before you fall asleep to make a mental list of all the things that went right that day, rather than focusing on what went wrong or what you have to do tomorrow. 

      10. Take physical action
      We’re about to get technical here: the “Cognitive-Behavioral Triangle” is a very easy-to-understand diagram, with thoughts, emotions, and behavior at each of the points. The diagram demonstrates that each point of the triangle connects to all the other points (you took elementary geometry, right?). How we think affects how we feel and what we do, but this pattern can work in reverse too. That means that certain actions will affect thoughts and feelings.
      Breathing techniques or relaxing the shoulders are physical actions that signal to the brain that everything is fine. Sometimes, the mind can be hard to control (when I’m really stressed, I cannot always reason myself out of it), but one point of the triangle will affect the others. If you find your stress is hard to control or reason out of, start with physical actions. Try breathing techniques, improving your posture, exercise, or yoga poses. 

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      5 Things an OB-GYN Wants You to Know About Sex

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      I don’t know about you, but when my feet are in the stirrups and someone’s poking around down there, the last thing on my mind is the list of questions I wanted to talk to ask OB-GYN. Keeping up with your gynecologist can feel more difficult than keeping up with the Kardashians; while you should be going to regular appointments, sometimes we forego, forget, or miss out on some of those important conversations during the 30-minute (max!) appointment, particularly when it comes to sex (anyone else spend the entire time complaining about their period cramps?).If all of the knowledge you have about sex comes from the birds-and-the-bees talk with your mom, that “experienced” friend’s dating life, or watching Sex Education three times in a row, you could probably benefit from more conversations with your gyno. Just as a reminder: you deserve and are entitled to a pleasurable, fulfilling, and healthy sex life. Your gynecologist is one way to help you stay healthy, explore your sexuality, and feel your best. Until you make it to your next gyno appointment, I asked Dr. Kiarra King M.D., a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist (who somehow still has time for blogging like the ultimate boss she is), for some of the info she tells her patients, that many of us could be missing out on. Here are five things she wants you to know about sex:

      1. “Good sex” is relative
      The phrase “the best sex of my life” has been thrown around so often in movies and TV shows, and I’ve always been confused about what that really means. I’ve heard frat douchebags in college talk about their sexapades with phrases like, “the sex wasn’t great,” as if there’s a checklist that determines “good sex” from “bad sex” (and where the hell can I find this checklist!?). If you’re like me and have wondered what makes sex “good,” you’re probably not as focused on your own pleasure as you should be.
      Dr. King explained that whether sex is good or bad is only for you to decide; it’s always an individual opinion. “Only you can determine what is good and ultimately what is better for you,” she said. If you’re so out of touch with your pleasure (literally), she also recommended asking yourself questions like, do you genuinely enjoy your partner? Does your partner seek to pleasure you, or is it a one-way street? Do you feel safe and validated? Is the experience equally enjoyable for both of you? Bottom line: “good” or “bad” sex is defined only by how much pleasure and enjoyment you feel. 

      2. Stop comparing
      Back to that “good sex” versus “bad sex” crap, comparisons are common when it comes to sex since it has been a taboo subject for far too long. Many women want to know what’s considered “normal,” or feel lesser-than if friends have different sexual experiences than they do. But guess what: you don’t need to compare in order to know what’s normal, and someone else’s experience or preferences do not mean anything about yours. “When it comes to an intimate partnership, what benefits will be gained by comparing to the point that better sex is defined by someone else’s experience?” Dr. King said. “Of course, a couple can try new things, but the goal should be that they enjoy one another, not out of comparison.” Explore your sexuality to find more and better pleasure, but don’t compare other people’s experiences and preferences to your own. 

      3. Sex should not be consistently painful
      If you’ve ever had discomfort or pain during sex, you’re not alone. In fact, as many as 75 percent of women will experience pain during sex, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Dr. King advised that a momentary sensation with a specific position that resolves itself is likely of no concern (just don’t forget your lube!). However, sex does not have to be painful. Not only does pain during sex suck, but it contributes to the orgasm gap, and, most importantly, prevents you from experiencing the optimal pleasure that you deserve.
      “If a woman experiences continued pain or is unable to engage in sex due to fear of pain, I recommend talking to your doctor,” Dr. King said. Your doctor might be able to identify an underlying cause and provide treatment options, like pelvic floor physical therapy (which is more common than you may realize). The point is that pleasure is your birthright; your body is not trying to prevent you from it, so anything that is can (and should) be resolved. 

      4. If you’re experiencing low sex drive, you can fix it
      When we experience low sex drive as women, we typically accept it as a reality, not see it as a symptom. It’s the stereotype we’ve seen in every sitcom and comedy film in the United States: the constantly-horny husband and the “not tonight, honey” response from the wife. We’re taught from old-school beliefs that women are inherently more sexually restrained than men, and therefore, have a lower sex drive. The truth? The female sex drive is consistently underrated; not only is it inherently strong (duh!), but it can increase with age. That also means that low libido, in fact, can be a symptom, and not “just the way you are.” 
      “Lack of sex drive or decreased libido can occur for a variety of reasons including stress, depression, anxiety, chronic medical conditions, or certain medications,” Dr. King explained. In other words, you don’t have to settle for low libido. Talk to your doctor about identifying the root causes of low sex drive and come up with a plan to restore your libido. PS, if your doctor doesn’t prioritize your sex drive and sexual pleasure, it might be time to find a new doctor. 

      5. Good news: your vagina can clean itself!
      While there’s an overwhelming amount of products and processes promising reproductive health, Dr. King knows that it’s actually very simple. “The vagina is capable of cleaning itself,” she told Essence in 2019. “A good old-fashioned shower or bath daily during menstruation should do the trick to help rinse away any old blood or discharge. Women shouldn’t use scented hygiene products, as they may cause an allergic reaction known as contact dermatitis.” When it comes to sexual health, Dr. King recommended getting STD screenings before being with a new partner (both of you!) and using a water-based lubricant to keep up with vaginal health. Remember that your vagina is incredibly smart and self-sufficient (as are you!). It has its own self-cleaning mechanisms that will keep you healthy as long as you do your job with safe sex practices. 

      Please consult a doctor before beginning any treatments. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article. More