Living Well

Subterms

    More stories

    • 175 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      There Is a Staggering Lack of POC in Wellness—Here’s How We Can Change That

      by

      The wellness industry has been historically homogenous and well, white. If you’re a white woman googling tips on self-care and mental health, you’ll find books, articles, and endless resources written for and by white women. On Instagram, a quick #wellness search propagates a feed dominated by images of white women caressing smoothie bowls, meditating, and doing yoga on the beach. I’ve spent the last five years working as an editor in the health and wellness space. Often, I’ve been the only Person of Color in team meetings and one of a handful at international conferences where thousands have attended. As a Filipina working in this space, I’ve rarely seen my fellow People of Color genuinely represented and acknowledged by this industry. 
      This all begs the question: where are all the People of Color? And more importantly, what’s a Person of Color to do when the lack of representation makes them feel unwelcomed, othered, and unseen in the wellness world? 
      For many People of Color with large social followings, a brand’s representation is a key factor when it comes to collaboration. “If I don’t see BIPOC [(Black, Indigenous, and People of Color)] represented, then I cannot believe in you. Our intentions just don’t align,” said Nikia Phoenix, the founder of Black Girl Beautiful.

      With the renewed Black Lives Matter movement bringing greater attention to the harsh systemic injustices faced by the Black community, many corporations are forced to examine how they are addressing diversity and actively fighting racism in the workplace. Among these corporations are a slew of wellness companies pledging to better represent People of Color. While this pledge of solidarity is no doubt a step in the right direction, the greatest and most significant change has come from Black entrepreneurs, speakers, and teachers in the wellness field creating spaces and self-care tools for their community. 
      According to Kelley Green, a certified yoga instructor and founder of Rise in Color, this is crucial. “As a community, in order to make the wellness experience more inclusive, BIPOC need to create and own more spaces for gatherings, whether virtually, in-person, including apps. More of us need to take ownership of the ability to lead and provide spaces that didn’t previously exist. This is how we create massive change in the lives of the communities we represent,” Green said. 

      A Needle in The Haystack
      “I realized finding Women of Color in the physical wellness space was like finding a needle in a haystack,” Green said. “When I was first introduced to yoga, I quickly noticed the majority of the studios where I live in NYC were filled with predominantly white women. The staff, the instructors, and the students were mostly of Caucasian descent, so I often found myself being either one of two People of Color in the class—or maybe even the only one.” Building spaces where Black voices feel safe and supported has far-reaching implications.
      Black women are at three to four times the risk of pregnancy-related deaths for white women; while both Black and white women develop breast cancer at about the same rate, breast cancer death rates are 40 percent higher among Black women. The adult Black community is more likely to have feelings of sadness and hopelessness than adult whites, yet there is a glaring absence of culturally responsive health care providers available to their community. The work done by Black wellness advocates brings awareness to these disparities by providing the tools and resources needed to take action. 

      Yasmine Cheyenne, a teacher, and speaker on mental health sought to create free mental health resources for BIPOC, as her experiences as a Black woman were not welcomed at the predominately white wellness groups and retreats she attended. “In BIPOC communities, I think we’re still unlearning a lot of the ways we haven’t been taking care of ourselves based on the way we’ve been taught to live in ‘survival mode’ all the time. Creating spaces where black people and POC feel comfortable healing, and where we can also have people who look like us and viscerally understand us is important for our community and our individual growth,” she said. As wellness brands proclaim their commitment to fighting racial injustice, how they move towards change will be telling. The task cannot fall on the Black community alone, and changing the wellness space to truly be more inclusive will itself be an effort in solidarity.
      Beyond bringing more diversity to their social feeds, who companies hire to leadership positions, how they plan to implement long term processes to fight both overt and covert racial discrimination, and how they persist in creating platforms for People of Color long after the public eye is gone will be the real test.

      To do your part in turning the tide, here’s what you can do:

      Educate Yourself
      Be aware of the ongoing public health crisis in the Black community rooted in centuries of systemic racism and prejudice. America is Failing Its Black Mothers is a good place to start. After that, read The Black Women’s Health Book: Speaking for Ourselves. When you’re done, don’t stop. Listen to black voices in the wellness space, have those tough conversations with those in your circle, and continue to educate yourself through the many resources available. If you’re looking for more reading material, here are 20 books on Black stories, white privilege, and how to be anti-racist.

      View this post on Instagram

      I recently shared why our collagen is great, but you might be wondering: “what makes Truvani Protein so special?” . Here’s what real customers have to say about it: . “Right out of the package, it smells good…Like cocoa. It doesn’t smell sour or bitter like so many I have tried in the past. It mixes easily in a blender bottle – No chunks or pieces left in the bottom edge of the bottle. And finally the taste… The texture is smooth, not gritty and the flavor is of cocoa with slight “protein powder” flavor underneath. I am thankful to have a trustworthy source of protein and one that I can confidently recommend to my friends and colleagues! Nice work!!” – Corinn Tiwari . “I received the chocolate protein powder sample and tried it this morning. It was delicious !! I’ve had the hardest time finding a protein powder that I like and that my body likes. I can’t have dairy and whey and I’m also so picky about taste, so I gave up looking for protein powder. You guys totally nailed it!! Thank you for creating this. I love the ingredients and that it’s good for me and tastes so yummy and that I feel good after!!” – Lisa Oidvin It’s so nice hearing this. I built a brand that will never compromise on ingredients… and our products taste great, too. We live in a world where big companies fill their products with garbage ingredients and at Truvani we just won’t stand for it. Some other protein powders load up with artificial sweeteners, sugar, or other unnecessary additives. But Truvani cuts all of that out. We use only 5 ingredients in Vanilla. 6 ingredients in chocolate. And it tastes amazing. Just look at our labels (Swipe Left!) Plus, it’s USDA organic. And, we also obtained 2 new certifications: CERTIFIED VEGAN and NON-GMO Project Verified. (You won’t see the logo on the bags just yet because we just got our certification, but those certifications will be displayed prominently and proudly as we change over our packaging). So, if you’re ready to try Truvani’s Plant-Based Protein, check out the link in my bio. I know you’re going to LOVE it!
      A post shared by Vani Hari | Food Babe (@thefoodbabe) on Jul 10, 2020 at 9:22am PDT

      Support Businesses That Embrace Inclusivity
      Whether it’s the yoga studio you attend or your favorite skincare brand, do a little research, and consider how that company’s messaging and images are helping to create a place of inclusivity. If you’re only seeing one type of woman being marketed to and for (or if their feed just recently includes People of Color), that’s problematic. And if you don’t see any People of Color as instructors or in executive leadership roles, it might be a sign to take your money somewhere else and support a business that is actively working to create diverse and inclusive spaces.

      View this post on Instagram

      We all need a little reset sometimes, however most of us don’t have the time or funds for a full fledge week long destination vacation, I know I sure don’t. In the name of accessibility..thank you blessed “staycation” for coming into save the day! One of my favorite ways to reset while not completely breaking the bank is a proper staycation. I have been using @hoteltonight loyally since 2015, and the magic of this app is that the longer you wait, the more you can save, making your last- minute craving for a staycation a REALITY! – – I always find that even one night away from cooking, writing recipes or curriculum for an event, etc REALLY helps reset my body, mind, and spirit. Pictured above you’ll find that I’ve ordered basically the entire room service menu lol Who says a staycation for there weekend can’t be just as healing as jumping on a plane? and like I said..in honor of accessibility, this is also a really wonderful option for those on a particular budget, but with major staycation needs. – – Do you have a favorite hotel to staycation at in your city? If you’re in NYC, What is your favorite hotel to stay in? Why? I am always on the lookout for new places to have a restful weekend away, but not too far away 🙂 #myhoteltonight #ad
      A post shared by i am sophia (@sophia_roe) on Mar 10, 2020 at 9:47am PDT

      Hold Wellness Companies Accountable
      On that note, encourage those in positions of power to actively work towards addressing and dismantling racism in the wellness space. Message companies (studios, gyms, wellness brands, etc.) on social or email them asking how they are taking part in the current conversation on systemic racism—let them know that this impacts your decision to support them. Remember, as a customer, you hold purchasing power.

      Amplify Black Voices
      Support black leaders in the health and wellness space by listening to their podcasts, watching their videos, and following them on social. Repost, retweet, and reshare their work. Better yet, discuss their work in conversations with friends, family, and coworkers. Attend yoga classes, workshops, and retreats led by black instructors and teachers. If the wellness spaces you go to are mostly white, reach out to the owners to see how they can create more inclusive spaces where People of Color feel safe, welcomed, and acknowledged. More

    • 113 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      17 Insanely Easy Habits That Will Change Your Life

      by

      Who doesn’t love a good makeover movie? Princess Diaries: royally iconic. She’s All That: Freddie Prinze Jr. was our generation’s first love. Clueless: Brittany Murphy looked bangin’ (even though that was way harsh, Tai). But life isn’t a late ’90s rom-com, and it takes more than a pair of contacts and a hair straightener to transform your life. Luckily, we’re out of high school and we’ve got bigger issues than getting the quarterback to ask us to homecoming (he always turned out to be a douche anyway). Instead, we’re focused on how to be our best selves and be happier. That means getting healthier, being kinder to ourselves, and getting sh*t done (because we deserve to have it all). No, a new wardrobe and a popular BFF won’t change your life, but these 17 insanely easy habits just might. 

      1. Make your bed
      At the risk of sounding like your mom, please make your bed. Not only will it feel good to get into a made bed at night, but it’s important for the success of your day. Making your bed first thing every morning means one small win before you even have a cup of coffee, which subconsciously will motivate you to achieve thousands of small wins throughout the day (and you know what they say about small wins: they lead up to really big ones). Plus, Gretchen Rubin found in her research that it’s the easiest and most common daily habit you can do to boost happiness.

      2. Organize to-do lists based on life goals
      Making a to-do list is no revolutionary hack, but how are you setting priorities when you review what has to get done every day? Before making your next to-do list, ask yourself where you want to be in 5-10 years. Everything on your to-do list should be taking a step towards achieving these goals. For example, strategize business growth, spend 30 minutes taking an online class, or work out if your goal is to be more active. In other words, to-do lists of even the simplest tasks should have a long-term perspective.
      Making your to-do list with goals in mind will show you where you should be spending time and where you can be spending less time. Of course, you’ll always have to do the mundane house chores or tedious tasks, but figure out where you can outsource these items, and prioritize what will get you closer to your goals first thing so you make sure to get it done (yes, that means a workout or the brainstorm meeting you’ve been putting off). 

      Source: Ambitious Kitchen

      3. Eat more leafy greens
      Getting healthier is not always a dramatic transformation. In fact, it’s typically a series of small habits and minor additions to your diet that snowball into a healthier lifestyle that’s all-around better for you. Don’t focus on cutting out food groups or limiting what you can and cannot eat (that can lead to bingeing or an unhealthy relationship with food). Instead, focus on adding leafy greens to at least two meals a day. Add spinach to an omelet, throw kale in a pasta sauce, and order a side salad when you’re eating out. 

      4. Give yourself deadlines
      You know from college all-nighters and projects at work that if there’s a deadline you have to meet, you find a way to get it done. What makes an assignment our bosses give us or a paper for “Shakespeare 101” different from a personal goal is that we don’t usually have a deadline to motivate us to accomplish it by a certain time. No matter how small or specific (like replacing your old couch, making friends with a coworker, establishing an emergency fund, or running three miles), give yourself a specific and realistic deadline. 
      If you’re still having trouble sticking to goals because you know your deadlines are “flexible” when you’re the one setting them, sign up for a marathon, announce the launch of your side project or business with a release date, or let a friend or family member know your deadline so they hold you accountable.

      Source: @charmedbycamille

      5. Instead of taking a social media break, get up and move
      You know it, you love it, you depend on it: the momentary pause from uninterrupted work to take a quick scroll through social media. At this point, opening Instagram might feel like second nature when you just finished one task and need a refresh before moving on to the next. But instead of scrolling through Instagram, checking Snapchat, or refreshing TikTok, get up and move your body to refresh yourself in between work tasks. A few jumping jacks, a mini dance party, a yoga flow, or just some stretches are enough to energize your body, reset your mind, and will help you focus better for the rest of the day. 

      6. Read more
      I’m the queen of excuses when it comes to reading more often. “I’m too tired,” “I don’t have any new books,” and “How am I expected to do anything else in my free time when all six seasons of Sex and the City are on Hulu!?” are excuses I use on a regular basis. But reading is not only enjoyable; it’s good for you. Whether it’s winding down before bed, taking a break in the afternoon, or as the ritual that you look forward to when starting your day, fit in some more time to read. As for what to read? Start with inspiring books, books to educate yourself, or enjoyable books that should be on your summer reading list. 

      Source: @twentysomethingplus

      7. Say “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry”
      I have a terrible habit of saying “sorry” all the time. I say “sorry” when I need someone to repeat what they said or I bump into a stranger, and I apologize profusely for being late or making a mistake. While “sorry” is just a word, language can affect the way we think and feel about ourselves, and women, in particular, are taught to be polite by putting themselves down. Instead of “sorry,” make a conscious effort to say “thank you” instead.
      “Thank you for being patient!” instead of, “Sorry for being late!” is another way to practice gratitude, but it’s also a consistent way to be kinder to yourself. BTW, saying sorry in relationships is crucial when you made a mistake or hurt the other person’s feelings, but showing gratitude be even more important.

      8. Tidy up your space before bed
      I know, I know: the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day is clean (the horror!). But dishes in the sink or laundry piled on the chair (we all have that one chair), can prevent us from feeling fully relaxed while going to bed at night or might make us more stressed starting the next day. Clutter in your space can translate into clutter in your mind, so dedicate five extra minutes before bed to run the dishwasher, wipe off kitchen counters, and declutter any papers or laundry that has piled up in the bedroom. A less cluttered bedroom will help you sleep at night, while a clean kitchen will make you happier the next morning. 

      Source: @homeyohmy

      9. Sit up straight
      Bad news for all the other slouchers out there: your posture might be affecting your physical and mental health. Practice better posture for overall health by straightening your back and relaxing your shoulders (and stop looking down at your phone while you’re at it!). Did you sit up taller just now? Good. 
      Start consistently working on improving posture throughout your workday (yes, even while working from home). If you want to be as extra as I am, you can also try setting reminders through phone alerts or sticky notes around your apartment, or you can set a note as your phone wallpaper to remind you to correct your posture whenever you check the time or read a text message.

      10. Take the stairs or walk extra steps
      Taking the stairs instead of the escalator or parking a bit further away from the grocery store will add up. If your schedule is so packed that fitting in a workout is causing you more stress, it might be hurting your health instead of improving it. It’s time we stop thinking of “exercise” as an hour-long HIIT class and make it about living more actively by moving whenever we can. As a rule of thumb, moving more often than you sit will make a big difference in your overall health and wellbeing.

      Source: @chrissyford

      11. Say “no” when you mean no
      How often do you avoid saying “no” when you want to? Do you find yourself doing favors for others when you’re already stretched too thin? Do you pick up work for coworkers when you’re too busy, say yes to plans you’re not excited about, or hang out with friends to avoid FOMO (even though you want a chill night in)? One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is to say what you mean and be true to what you need. Master the art of saying “no.” Say, “I’d love to help you, but I can’t give the time and effort to this task that it deserves,” and “I need a night by myself tonight, but let’s get coffee this weekend,” whenever you feel the need to please. 

      12. Manage your money based on what brings you joy
      Listen, I’m the last person who should be giving financial advice. As a writer and a self-proclaimed “creative,” I never even thought about taking a business course in college, and the extent of my money knowledge upon graduation was how to budget for Starbucks. But one piece of financial advice really clicked for me: money is your life’s energy force. I started understanding money in a different way when I realized money was just an exchange of value for the effort and energy we’re giving about 40 hours every single week.
      Be thoughtful about how you want to spend your life’s energy; does it really bring you joy to go to drinks with that friend you don’t have fun with or to buy the top you’ll never end up wearing? Managing your money based on what does and doesn’t bring you joy will reduce stress that comes with spending money on the vacations, items, and experiences that you truly love. Also, invest in yourself: get the gym membership, purchase that online course, and open a savings account. The more money you put into something, the more likely you are to keep it up as a habit. 

      Source: @thelittletembo

      13. Mute (or unfollow) most social media accounts
      You may be the sum of the five people you spend your time with, but you’re also the sum of the five people you consume on Instagram. Unfollow or mute all the accounts that do not make you feel inspired, happy, or confident, and then crowd out the accounts that aren’t serving you with accounts that inspire you. Follow other women whose careers you admire, and find accounts that will bring you positivity whenever you are tempted to scroll (like, I don’t know, @theeverygirl, for a totally random example).  
      Also, rethink whether the bloggers, celebs, and brands you follow are providing you with inspiring content, or if their posts just make you feel bad about where you are in life. Likewise, it’s time to mute or unfollow that frenemy you had in high school or your sorority sister’s ex-boyfriend’s cousin that you met a few times. Instead of watching other people’s lives, go live your own. 

      14. Get more sleep
      Easier said than done, right? But don’t worry: even though it might feel like getting more sleep is impossible, it’s a habit just like anything else. Detox your sleep routine, try some of our favorite products, or stop looking at your damn phone to fit in a little more (quality) beauty sleep. You can also try getting to bed just five minutes earlier than the night before until you wake up feeling refreshed and energized instead of zombie-like. Also, let’s all stop hitting the snooze button, OK? It’s only confusing the body, and if you’re going to sleep early enough (curse you, Netflix!), you should be waking up naturally and easily. 

      Source: @missenocha

      15. Donate $5 to a new organization or charity every month
      It may sound counterintuitive to spend money more often if you’re like me and your bank account is a constant source of stress. However, feeling a lack of something (whether it’s time, love, or money) is all mental, no matter what. It’s a cliché glass-half-empty situation; realizing you have enough water (or money) to give some away will show you the glass is half-full instead. 
      But more important than even our own finances is what we can do to help other people. Compassion, support, and empathy should be a part of our routines, just like brushing our teeth or doing a load of laundry. Take the time to educate yourself on organizations and charities that need your help, and then donate what you can regularly (FYI, even the price of one latte can make a difference). 

      16. Set your alarm a few minutes earlier than you need to
      If your mornings feel more like a race against the clock or an episode of Chopped, consider waking up extra early to have a slow, calm start to your day. You might have limited control over your mornings (like an early work start time or a child to take care of), so waking up just 10-15 minutes earlier than you need to will help you feel more in control and calmer throughout the entire day. Whether you spend your time meditating, indulging in a luxurious skincare routine, or just brewing a cup of coffee with a moment of silence, you will not miss the 10 minutes of extra sleep. 

      Source: Sassy Red Lipstick

      17. Limit your decision making
      We make a lot of decisions every single day, even just within the first few minutes of waking up: whether or not to hit snooze, what to wear (which is approximately 100 different decisions), when to turn on the coffee pot, to be or not to be (that is the question–especially when you didn’t get enough sleep last night). The little decisions add up to be overwhelming. Decision fatigue is a real thing, and it’s why we opt for pizza delivery instead of cooking at the end of a long day or forego the workout altogether if we have to think about which time slot works best.
      To keep up with healthy habits, limit decision making as much as possible and reduce decision fatigue. Meal prep all your lunches, sign up for workout classes in advance (or put a workout in your calendar so you can’t skip it), and try a go-to outfit formula so you don’t have to think about what to wear. The purpose of forming habits is so you don’t have to think about whether or not to wake up earlier, go to bed sooner, or do the dishes after dinner; you do it because there’s no option not to. 

      What habits have changed your life the most? More

    • 125 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      Women of Color: Let’s Give Ourselves Permission to Do Less

      by

      The most profound thing my therapist ever taught me was not a lesson she taught. It was a question she asked: why do you feel like you have to do it all, right now? She sat across from me in her dimly-lit office, legs crossed at the ankles, calmly sipping tea from her blue patterned mug and asked again, another way: why the urgency? I paused. Took a moment to imagine myself not urgent. She had only known me a few weeks then, but she already knew me as a person who lives in totality, despite the costs of living such a lifestyle. She recognized me as a person who wants to be her whole self. Explore all her passions. Share all her gifts—even at the expense of well-being. It wasn’t until that day that I stopped and asked myself, why the urgency? Why was I pushing myself to achieve more, climb higher, and work harder than anyone ever asked or expected me to?The answer, for me, lies in my identity as a Black woman.
      When I was young, I remember being told that I would always have to work twice as hard for half as much. Being told that education was mandatory, but even that wouldn’t be enough. Being disappointed in myself for getting one B on my report card, one time. Still being told, later, that my success was a gift of my race and not a result of my life’s hard work. Those lines spoken then manifested later in anxiety and imposter syndrome. I developed an intolerance for average. An insistence on exactness. A relentless pursuit for perfection that landed me here, now, watching my therapist sip her tea and marvel at my mayhem. After the session, I did some deep soul-searching and realized my urgency was coming from a sense of perfectionism that wasn’t my own; it was a result of the world as seen and experienced by a Black woman for whom nothing came without a fight. Once I realized that, I also realized I no longer wanted to live that way. I wanted to ditch the urgency and find balance. Shed the burden of fear, inferiority, anxiety; replace it with self-care, self-love, self-worth. But how? If, like me, you are a Black woman or Woman of Color who finds herself overwhelmed, off-balance, and/or consistently doing too much: keep reading as I share my story. For me, finding balance came as a result of some shifts in mindset, attitude, and priorities.

      I began demanding less of myself, and more of other people.
      At some point, I realized that while I was placing exceptionally high expectations on myself, my expectations of others—especially regarding how I allowed them to treat me—were exceedingly low. To flip that around, I began by acknowledging my worth. I was dealing with a wicked case of imposter syndrome, which caused me to credit my every accomplishment to luck, circumstance, or both. When I had writing published, I assumed it was because the publication was desperate. When that published writing was later awarded, I assumed someone only did it as a favor to me. When I was accepted to a Ph.D. program, I figured it was because of who I knew; not my own merit. The list goes on and on. Shifting this mindset caused me to consider each of my accomplishments individually. To celebrate those accomplishments. And then, to let myself off the hook of my own high expectations. 
      After acknowledging my worth, the next step was demanding that others did the same. I began to take notice of the people who were always quick to put me down. Those who tended to ask clarifying questions about how I accomplished what I accomplished, instead of first celebrating my accomplishment. These were the same people who would joke about earning something without even trying, knowing that I actually worked hard and tried (unsuccessfully) to earn that same thing. I started speaking up for myself when these things happened. I started demanding respect. And if/when these people still refused to acknowledge my worth, I walked away.

      I confronted the problematic nature of my role at work.
      If like me, you’ve been the first “diverse” hire at an organization, you’re probably already aware that there’s a lot of pressure. And this pressure is emphasized when people of color are hired into leadership positions, especially by organizations specifically looking to make a diversity hire and/or show their “commitment” to diversity, equity, and inclusion. As described in Nonprofit Quarterly, when white leaders are hired into an organization, they are encouraged to “fail forward,” using failure as a tool to learn and grow. However, this isn’t the case for Black leaders. When we fail, we’re only proving to those who hired us that we were not a good “fit” for the organization. We’re also giving them the excuse to say, “well, we tried to hire a diverse leader, but it didn’t work.” The pressure that Black workers and leaders endure from their staff, boards, etc. to “get it right” comes from the knowledge that a steep learning curve or even a minor mistake could cost not only you your job, but could also mean that other Black people won’t be considered for that job (or similar jobs) in the future. 
      For me, the first step in combating this issue was recognizing that it existed in the first place. And by existed, I mean this wasn’t just me overreacting or making something out of nothing. This was a systemic issue rooted in bias and prejudice. After I educated myself, I helped to educate others. From there, I began to point out microaggressions in the workplace, and advocate for myself when I wasn’t given the same grace as others. I knew this would be scary—and risky—but without speaking up for myself in this way, I feared I would never have the positive workplace experience I deserved. 

      I ditched the perfectionism for self-care.
      In the workplace, Black people and people of color often feel pressure to be perfect. I used to believe that even asking for help would be proof to everyone that I did not belong. Whenever I felt the urge to express vulnerability, I forced myself to maintain a cool demeanor (ironically, the same cool demeanor that often made my coworkers and employers refer to me as “unlikeable”). Little did I know, the ridiculously high standards I was placing on myself were a result of a harmful white supremacy culture that I had fallen victim to. As far as I could tell, advocating for oneself and/or taking care of oneself were behaviors reserved for those with privilege. I watched in awe as my coworkers talked back to the boss in meetings and showed up late for work without apology; meanwhile, I was always on time and submissive, yet still, the first one demoted, laid off, fired.
      Instead of focusing on being “perfect,” I began to congratulate myself for working hard; for accomplishing tasks; for staying positive. Truthfully, it is still hard for me to ask for help in the workplace. My hope is that the more I am accepted, the more vulnerable I will be able to be in these spaces.

      I focused more on life and less on work.
      Something I had to come to terms with was the fact that for me, work-life would always come with added challenges as a result of race, and race alone. No matter how satisfied I might be in a workplace, the fact remains that I have never worked anywhere where I was not stereotyped, dismissed, rejected, humiliated, undermined, etc. in ways that my white counterparts were not. Once I accepted this harsh reality, I made a radical decision: I would value rest over being busy. Our culture brainwashes us into believing that our worth is tied to our productivity. I had to unlearn the harmful belief that I could not rest, relax, or take a day off without compromising everything I’d worked so hard for. Once I shed that negative mindset, I placed energy into being present in all aspects of my life, and not just those deemed worthwhile by American society.
      I also embraced self-care and ditched self-neglect. For me, self-care looks like a lot of things. It looks like yoga and meditation. Taking candle-lit bubble baths on Wednesday nights. Blocking negative energy (and people) on social media. Scheduling mental health days. Bingeing Netflix. Bingeing fresh-baked cookies and ice cream. Whatever it takes to remind myself that I am worthy; valued; appreciated.

      For many Black women and Women of Color, it is not simply a question of finding work-life balance. It is a question of balancing so much more: balancing expectations people have of you with your expectations of yourself; balancing self-hate and self-love; balancing your conception of what you need to accomplish to be successful versus how others are privileged to define success. Finding my balance has been less about sacrifice and more about standards. My new commitment is to myself; not to others. I’ve wasted enough of my energy trying to prove to others that I am good enough. Now, it’s time to convince myself that I’m good enough. That I’m worthy of my job. Worthy of my accomplishments. Worthy of success. Worthy of rest. I am still a work-in-progress, but it feels good these days to move around with a little more balance, and a little less urgency. More