5 Quotes About Confidence From Bontle Modiselle
It wasn’t until 2024 that Bontle Modiselle found a fitting term that sums up what she does for a living – hence the title multi-disciplinary Artist. The choreographer, dancer, dance instructor, TV host, MC, musician and actress kicked off her dance career at 15, a passion she attributes to legendary 90s kwaito group Boom Shaka. “I was around age six when Boom Shaka was all the rage and my late dad recorded the music video to their hit single It’s About Time on videotape,” she recalls. Little Bontle would reenact and perfect the moves so well that she became the trusted entertainer at family gatherings. Then, throughout primary school, ballet and rhythmic gymnastics helped set the path for her future career. Fast forward to 29 years later…Bontle’s commanded many local and international stages, as well as judged many dance competitions – all this while mastering the art of performative confidence. Below, we gleaned some insights from our March/April 2025 Breakthrough interview with the mom-of-one. Prepare to be inspired!READ MORE: 30 Life-Changing Books To Help You Become Healthier, Wealthier, Happier & More In 2025Confidence Cannot Be Worn“I grew up looking and sounding confident. But what most people didn’t know was that my confidence was performative. Growing up, most parents would innocently bark an order such as: ‘Don’t go out into the world looking like that or don’t ever look like your problems!’ This instilled a sense of, ‘I can always wear confidence and that it should always be tied to external validation’ — something that stripped away my sense of autonomy. And with no sense of autonomy, I could form my own opinions without first wanting to get them approved. Over time, I’ve had to trust that my opinion is exactly that — mine. I owe no one an explanation.”You Don’t Always Have To Check In“For instance, before, whenever my husband would ask me a question, I’d always check in and want to know his answer so I could phrase mine to be as close to his as possible. That was the people-pleaser in me!” But now – even though it took a while – Bontle’s confidence is not defined by how she looks. In fact, she couldn’t care less about physical traits! “Now, my confidence is intertwined in my self-acceptance, self-awareness and being honest about where I am and how I feel!”READ MORE: Jeannie D Shares Her Fitness Goals For 2025 (Plus, A Meal You’ll Want To Try)The Happier Side Of Life“My basis of confidence is different. It’s me going through a lot, yet still not seeking external validation. In interviews as a TV host, whenever someone would ask me what kind of content I enjoyed watching, I would cower and want to mention something profound when the truth of the matter is that I love trash TV and game shows — the type that helps me switch my brain off and do very little thinking after a long day. And if that makes me shallow in someone’s eyes, that’s okay, too!”I Am Not My HairBontle rocked her trademark dreadlocks for 15 years before waking up one morning and deciding to chop them off in April 2023. This, despite a nagging fear that they were a great part of her identity. Greatest lesson? “I am not, and was never my hair! Locs are currently a part of my identity, my hair always has been. People may receive a different message from the one I intend to send but either way, my hair will always say something. Right now my hairstyles scream “I AM FREE!”. Free of lengthy washing and frequent styling sessions. Free of failed twist outs and free to let my hair be. Unless I personally want a style change, I do not think I will be wearing a wig anytime soon.”READ MORE: 18 Books That Will Get You Out Of A Deep Reading SlumpI Don’t Always Have To Be Everyone’s Friend“After winning a beauty pageant in primary school which came with a big hamper of sweet delicacies, I found myself with nearly half the school wanting to be friends with. I was a reserved child who only came alive during ballet. Naive, I shared my goodies with all the kids who lined up feigning interest in me. By Monday, all those kids were gone and pretended like they didn’t know me. Shattered and embarrassed, I went back to my shell. Since then, friendship became a weird concept for me. It also became about people sticking around only when they needed something from you. Over time, I had to learn to trust in the magic of friendship again. And I could only do that once I started believing that I was worthy of healthy friendships and not basing friendships on what I could give — but be open to receiving too!”Check out Bontle Modiselle’s Breakthrough interview in the March/April 2025 issue of Women’s Health. On shelves NOW! More
