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      in health and weelbeing

      I’m a Black Woman and I Don’t Know How to Celebrate My Accomplishments

      by

      “You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams, you are the epitome of what Martin Luther King Jr. marched for,” said my friend Steven. This statement took me back for a second. I knew what he was implying with his statement, I just didn’t know how to feel about it. During that moment, I started to think about how this a common feeling I had since I graduated high school. Hearing these words brought back a lot of feelings that have plagued my mind since I started my undergraduate studies. Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”? Which is a popular saying in the Black community. I always had some of my family and friends hype me up about the opportunities that I have been fortunate to have. But honestly, I always felt like I still wasn’t good enough. It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 
      Feeling like I “made it” gave me sorrow about Black people who would never know the feeling because they had the opportunity to live to see their full potential. Feeling like I “made it” gave me doubt about what my future held since I accomplished a lot in my early 20s. The feeling of accomplishing a goal was never an easy feeling for me. I would feel immense gratitude for how far I came, and then a rush of sadness came over me because it was a voice in my head telling me I just got lucky and one day it would not always be that way. A feeling of self-doubt would tell me that I was not worthy of the dreams I had in my head. Anxiety told me that I was only achieving my dreams because I was the token Black girl and I made white people feel comfortable. Not knowing how to celebrate my accomplishments started when I was in elementary school. 

      Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”

      In elementary school, I loved reading, and my mother did too, so we would go to the library every weekend to find a good book to dive into. Reading became my safe haven from the world and let me explore life beyond the subsidized housing I lived in. I was able to put myself in someone else’s shoes for a short period of time. I was able to learn about things that “project kids” never had the chance to learn or experience. Since I loved reading, this helped me excel in school and get ahead of many of my peers. I was always praised by my parents for my good grades and excelling in different subjects in school. 

      It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 

      The praise and congratulations went on into high school and college. I was always made to feel like I was on top of the world. In retrospect, I have learned that this was a contributing factor to why I felt like I couldn’t slow down and appreciate my wins. I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead, and never get too comfortable with what I had. This is a problem that not only I deal with, but the reality of what people of color, especially Black people, have to deal with. When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

      I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead and never get too comfortable with what I had.

      I recently spoke to a friend of mine who expressed on social media that she always felt like she wasn’t doing a good enough job at work and the pressure she always felt at work, regardless of what her superiors told her. She said that the hardest part about being a Black woman in corporate America/non-profit is, “We aren’t afforded bad days, passion, frustration, or disappointment. Every negative emotion we may have is an attitude of aggression. We aren’t even allowed to be introverted or shy because then we are mean, stand-offish, or unapproachable. This is especially problematic in the non-profit sector because of the emphasis put on the donor opinions and experiences.”
      When Black women constantly feel this way at work, it often seeps into our personal lives. We often think our accomplishments or wins won’t matter when the dust settles because it’s always “what’s next.” We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man, or the promotion, we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?” I asked my same friend, “Would you say you know how to celebrate your accomplishments? And she expressed to me it is difficult for her to acknowledge them. “Honestly it is difficult. A lot of times I look at things like ‘this is what I was supposed to do.’ This is no different than what Black women also feel in their personal lives. Society looks at us as being the “strong” one because of what they have made us endure and what we keep allowing. But when you feel like you are already a minority, you already know you have to work 20 times harder than anyone else, Black and white people included, we often feel like being strong and enduring what is thrown at us is what we are designed to do. 

      When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

      In most of my jobs, relationships, and friendships, I always felt like I had to know how to take pain and suffering as the first step in order to reap the rewards. As I sit back and think of what I have accomplished and how I accomplished it, it all was derived from pain. I wanted to excel in college because I know most people like me don’t get the opportunity. Pain. I moved to New York to have better opportunities and felt ostracized and dealt with systematic racism. Pain. I found one of my passions for working in Diversity and Inclusion, but if I had not attended a predominantly white graduate school and faced racism and prejudice for the majority of my days, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But it was all derived from pain and suffering that America chooses as a weapon to make Black women feel inadequate for what they want to accomplish.

      We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man or the promotion we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?”

      Sometimes it’s hard to decipher whether something is right for me if I didn’t have to suffer first to get it. This is an ongoing struggle for not just Black women, but also Black people. We always work 20 times harder, we are always thinking about our next goal, what we are going to do next and if suffering or obstacles are not attached to them—it feels too good to be true. 
      Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else. It is a never-ending cycle that we have to go through in order for people to see our worth. Just because you think we are strong, doesn’t mean we have to always showcase that trait every day. 

      Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else.

      There is no right solution to make Black women feel like they don’t have to wear the weight of the world on their shoulders. It is a learned habit that America and the people who have made up their own idea of what a Black woman is before getting to learn them. It will take years and decades to untwine the idea of what a Black woman is or is not. 
      Black women deserve the same dignity, rights, protection, and grace that is given out so freely to everyone but them. In order for Black women to get the chance to heal, feel, celebrate, and accomplish their desires, society has to change the narrative that has kept Black women in a box.  More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      10 Email Mistakes You Should Always Avoid

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      One of the most important career lessons we can learn is that work is not synonymous with email. Treating email like the tool that it is rather than making it the end-all, be-all is essential to bring some sanity to our days. For many of us now living in this always-on virtual work world, our inboxes can feel like they run our lives. If you’re making these email mistakes, now is a good time to reset.
      1. The “reply-all” catastrophe
      There is no horror like the horror of a reply-all fail. Whether it was your error or you are bearing witness to someone’s quick trigger finger failure, it’s painful. If at all possible, train yourself out of any reply-all habit. Make a single reply your general default, and anytime you are inclined to reply to a group, ask yourself, “Does everyone on this note really need to take action or be immediately informed of this development?” The answer is almost always no.

      2. Unclear takeaways
      Email is an enabler, not a task unto itself. With that in mind, try to stay disciplined and not fire off emails without a clear call to action. Do recipients need to schedule a meeting? Make a decision? Act on a client need? As you would any other compelling communication, close your email with the exact action item you need from someone, using their name, what you’re expecting, and by when. “Amy, Could you be sure to call the client with this update before 5pm tomorrow and let me know their response?”

      3. Super long emails
      In the same way that many meetings “could have been an email,” sometimes we find ourselves in an email chain that a quick call or huddle could fix. If you find yourself three or four replies into a group conversation, suggest cutting the thread short and putting everyone on the phone for a “huddle.” Use the time to drive toward decisions or clarity, and keep it 15 minutes tops.

      4. Getting the tone wrong
      Being too formal or too casual can blow up an email. As a rule of thumb, the less you’ve worked directly with a person, the more you should have a formal and professional email approach. Seniority also still matters here. Your manager’s boss, or others up in the organization should get your best foot forward on an email, even if it is a quick ask. It’s also important to bring a little humanity to your emails as your relationship with people grows over time. “Hope you had a good weekend!” can go far with a closer colleague when you’re firing off a note over an early Monday morning need.

      5. Not sleeping on it
      If there’s a shred of controversy in your note and you don’t need to send it immediately, sleep on it. I have yet to meet an email that I haven’t made better by giving it another 18 hours to think through. Even if you’re not actively crafting a new note, you’ve stepped away from a possibly heated response or complicated question, and your subconscious will come back to it with a better version.

      6. Misusing BCC
      BCC is a tricky beast. There’s definitely a shred of embarrassment when a recipient realizes they weren’t in actual copy, but responds to a larger note. Be really thoughtful about your motivations for using it. If you’re trying to keep a message private, a forward with a caveated note may be better. Another smart way to use BCC is to call attention to moving people into the BCC line and announce the gesture. “While we go back and forth on meeting details, dropping Sarah and John to BCC to spare their inboxes! We’ll come back with a final plan.”

      7. Leaving the subject line static
      Especially after vacation, piles of responses tied to the same subject line is dreadful. (The cleanup feature in Microsoft can help.) However, it’s always such a joy when you’ve found a note where someone has gone to the trouble of amending the subject. Did you add an attachment? “With Meeting Notes” gets added to the subject line. Is someone giving a new perspective? “Including Audit Team for Comment.” These little nuggets are also my own useful trail for finding where ideas diverge in a mountain of sent emails.

      8. Being unaware of time zones and holidays
      One of the most thoughtful signature blocks I’ve ever seen included the line “I’m sending this email because it suits me and my time zone. I do not expect responses outside of your normal working hours unless expressly indicated.” In our especially global world, it can be hard to stay on top of people’s respective time zones, relocations, and personal holidays. Adding an indication that you know they may be otherwise occupied and clearly stating your timelines is both professional and courteous.

      9. Being the first one to reply
      There are definitely moments where you’re the best one to jump in with an addition or reply. However, most of the time, sparing yourself as the first response pays dividends. First, if we truly run our workday like email is not our job, you shouldn’t be in your email all day. That means that realistically, hours could go by before you get to an email. Try testing the waters in a small way here if holding off on responses feels uncomfortable. Start with notes where you’re in a group of respondents. You may find it surprising to see how self-sufficient people are, or how effectively a conversation advances without you needing to jump in.

      10. Rushing the send
      “Rushing the send” is the sister of being the first to reply. Slow. Down. All of us are going a million miles an hour these days, but taking that extra few minutes to edit something is hugely beneficial. Are all the right people on this email? Does it have a clear, actionable purpose? Is it as long as it needs to be, but as short as it can be? Giving yourself a little personalized email checklist before you hit send can sharpen your communication skills and your professional profile. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      4 Reasons Why Multitasking Is Not the Best Option

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      Allow me to recap what my morning has looked like so far.I answered a couple of emails before starting a load of laundry. I answered another email, jotted down a few thoughts in an article outline, scrolled through Instagram, and then returned a couple more emails. I changed the laundry loads while on a phone call and then turned my attention once again to that article outline I promised myself I’d finish that morning.
      That’s pretty much standard for me — and I’m willing to bet the same holds true for you. When there are seemingly endless things to get done during any given day, multitasking is our new normal.
      But, in case you haven’t already heard, as irresistible as multitasking might seem, it’s really not the most efficient way for you to get your work done. Here’s why.

      1. Multitasking makes you less productive.
      This seems counterintuitive. How can doing two things at the same time actually make you less productive? Well, for starters, you aren’t actually doing two things simultaneously. Scientists say that’s almost impossible for humans to do well (hence why rubbing your stomach while tapping your head is such a beloved party trick). What you’re doing instead is rapidly switching between two tasks. You jump from that email to that project, and so on and so forth.
      Not so bad, right? Consider this: That constant switching counts as an interruption. You’re ripping your focus from one task to dedicate it to another. And, those constant disruptions come at a pretty high cost. Research shows that it takes an average of 23 minutes and 15 seconds to refocus on the original task that was interrupted.
      So, if you task switch just four times each workday (and, let’s be honest, you’re doing it far more than that), you’re spending nearly an hour just trying to get yourself re-committed to the project at hand. See? Not so productive after all.

      Source: @brooklynblonde1

      2. Multitasking hinders your memory.
      The other day, my mom called me to remind me of something important I had to do. “Oh, that’s right — you need to remember that,” I recited to myself while hanging up the phone. I figured I’d crank out one quick email before tackling that reminder. But — you guessed it — before I managed to circle back around to that, I had entirely forgotten what I was supposed to be doing.
      Sound familiar? That’s because our compulsion to multitask is actually sabotaging our memory. Research from the University of California San Francisco found that multitasking negatively affects our short-term memory — which is also referred to as our “working” memory. Your working memory is what enables you to remember an important deadline someone just told you or the fact that you need to call and schedule a dental cleaning.
      So, if you find yourself forgetting your lunch in the fridge after you told yourself eight times to grab it or not being able to remember a friend’s phone number when she just told it to you, you might be able to blame your multitasking habit for those lapses in your memory.

      Source: Colorjoy Stock

      3. Multitasking leads to poor work.
      Another danger of not being able to commit all of your focus to something? You’re increasing the likelihood of errors. Dr. Paul Hammerness and Margaret Moore, authors of Organize Your Mind, Organize Your Life, discovered that multitasking increases your chances of making a mistake or even missing important information or context entirely.
      It makes sense. I’m far more likely to let a typo slip through in an important email if I’m writing that message while also watching TV or talking with a friend. While your urge to rapidly switch between tasks might make you feel like a productivity superhero, it’s probably actually leading to lower-quality work than what you’re capable of producing.

      Source: @alabasterfox

      4. Multitasking makes you feel frazzled.
      How does constantly hopping back and forth between different emails and assignments make you feel? Personally, I feel totally stressed — my eyes feel bleary, my heart rate quickens, and I end the day feeling like I got nothing of real value accomplished. Compare that to spending a couple of dedicated, focused hours to making progress on a big project. How do you feel at the end of that work session? Probably a whole lot different.
      According to David Meyer, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, that’s because multitasking has been proven to boost your stress levels. When you’re trying to accomplish a bunch of tasks — particularly highly important ones — simultaneously, your brain responds to those seemingly impossible demands by pumping out a bunch of adrenaline and other stress hormones.

      Your brain responds to seemingly impossible demands by pumping out adrenaline and other stress hormones.

      The even worse news? A steady flow of those types of hormones can threaten your health. That means multitasking isn’t just sending you into a mental tizzy, it can actually be throwing your body out of whack as well. This only scratches the surface on all of the potential pitfalls related to multitasking. From stifling your creativity to negatively impacting your relationships, this compulsion to cram as many tasks as possible into one time slot doesn’t have a lot of benefits.
      That being said, stopping this natural tendency can be tough — particularly when you’re saddled with a to-do list as long as your arm. The next time you feel the urge to multitask (which I can only assume will be within the next five minutes or so), challenge yourself to stay focused on the task in front of you. You can also experiment with different time management techniques — such as task batching or the Pomodoro Technique — to see what makes you feel your most productive.
      Whatever you do, it’s sure to be a lot more beneficial than constantly switching gears.

      How do you resist the urge to multitask? Let us know! More

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      A Branding Expert Shares the Most Common Mistakes (and How to Fix Them)

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      Since I started my freelance design business back in 2015 (which feels like three decades ago by now), I’ve created a lot of brands—including logos, submarks, color palettes, typography, icons, and all the jazz that comes with creating a full brand identity. And while I always think it’s worth investing in the look and feel of your brand, sometimes when you’re just starting out, you simply don’t have the capital to hire a brand designer. I know from experience that the first year of your biz—whether it’s full time or a side hustle—can leave you pretty darn broke. To help, I’ve compiled a few strategic tips to help you DIY a brand that feels both elevated and authentic to who you are and what your business is all about. From how to use your fonts to selecting your color palette to setting up a simple yet sophisticated website (with my go-to platform, Squarespace), read on for the frequent branding mistakes I see and how to fix them. 

      Missing your core brand mission
      As a designer (and an Enneagram 4), I’m always conscious of how a brand looks and feels. But I think there’s a general misconception that branding is only about aesthetics when in reality, the best brands communicate something deeper and intrinsic about that company and what it values. Which is why when I start branding projects with my clients, I always have them fill out a questionnaire about their company, both for my benefit and to help them organize their thoughts about the mission, ethics, and meaning behind their brand. 
      Before you start thinking about your own brand’s visuals, take a beat. Grab a clean sheet of paper, open the notes app on your phone, or print out our downloadable worksheet and think about what makes your company or brand special. What do you bring to the table? What is your core mission? Who are your ideal clients and what do they believe in? Having these values outlined beforehand will help you make decisions later on—both about what you want your branding to say to your customers as well as other important decisions you’ll make each day for your business. 

      Forgetting to incorporate your audience 
      Now that you have your business mission and values outlined, you should have an idea of your ideal customer. You want to keep your customer or reader in mind as you’re thinking about your brand visuals. Keep the following things in mind: 
      Make a moodboard 
      Start by creating a board on Pinterest with images that you think reflect your brand and that would resonate with your audience. These don’t have to be logos or brand elements you like (though they can be). Pin anything and everything that catches your eye. Once you have a good amount of images, start reviewing the board and delete anything that no longer makes sense within the context of all the images. You should start to see patterns emerge. Maybe you pinned tons of images with a similar warm color scheme. Or maybe there are handwritten scribbles or elements throughout several of the pins. Note these patterns for elements you’ll use in your brand. 

      Consider color theory 
      Now that you have a moodboard of inspiration imagery, pull out the shades that reoccur. These are typically the shades you’re drawn to—you can see in the snippet of my brand’s moodboard above that I’m drawn to warm beiges, soft muted greens, and faded charcoals.
      Squarespace 7.1 comes with one of my favorite features, which allows you to select your desired color palette within the Design editor and then utilize that color palette throughout your site by selecting the pencil icon and choosing “Colors.” This saves so much time and ensures your shades are consistent throughout your site. 

      Once you have these colors, consider color theory. Which colors match the keywords you associate with your brand? If your brand is all about harmony and trust, try incorporating shades of blue that flow with your moodboard. If you’re more about energy and positivity, try shades of yellow. Refine your shades until you hit on a group that you like (keep it to around seven or less). Make sure you save the specific colors for future use—here’s a great tool on finding the hex code of a color from an image if you don’t have any design software like Photoshop or Illustrator.

      Incorporate your brand copy
      While you’re considering your brand look, it’s also a great time to hone in on a few strategic pieces of copy for your brand. How can you distill your mission down to its purest form? That becomes your tagline. For example, my freelance business is primarily a branding and print shop focused on creating heart-forward design for creatives and small business owners. To communicate that feeling in fewer words with an impactful punch, I distilled that mission down to a simple tagline: Crafting visual love letters. As you fill out our worksheet and think about your audience, jot down a few ideas for a tagline or condensed mission statement you can utilize across your website and branding materials (like business cards, etc.). 

      Equating minimalism with “boring” 
      You know that old Coco Chanel adage that you should take one thing off before you leave the house? Branding is like that. It’s really easy to overdo it, especially if you’re creating it for yourself. Sometimes you might think that more = better, when in reality, a more pared back and minimal design will be easier to nail as a brand newbie. And by minimalism I don’t mean that you have to only use one font or just use black and white as your color scheme. It’s more about letting the simplicity of something speak for itself. So you can still use bright, bold colors or incorporate fun elements like hand-drawn graphics or icons or bright, poppy photography while being more minimal. Some key things to keep in mind as you’re creating your brand look: 
      Keep the number of fonts to three or four 
      A really easy way to overdo it and make a brand look unnecessarily busy or visually confusing is to use too many different fonts that are all competing with each other. When I create brand identities for clients, I usually choose three or four fonts that they will use across their website and brand collateral in the following hierarchy: 
      Heading: This is the font you’ll use for the biggest text on your pages. This is the text you want your viewer to see and read first. You can get funky with your heading fonts because they generally make up a small-ish amount of text. I like to play with display serif fonts (like this) or this is a great place to incorporate script fonts and those with more personality than a standard font like Open Sans or Times New Roman. 
      Subheading: This is the font you’ll use for the smaller text that might live under a heading. You’ll see in the example below that my heading text is my name and the sub-heading text is my title. I usually use san serif fonts for subheadings (fonts without any flourishes on the ends of the letters—like Helvetica, etc.) and frequently do the font in all caps for more impact at a smaller size. 
      Body copy: This is the font you’ll use for any larger paragraphs of text. You want this font to be very easy to read because you don’t want your audience to get confused or navigate away from your site because the body font was too funky to understand. 

      Tagging your text like this on your website also helps with indexing and SEO (win, win)—learn more about that process here! 

      Don’t overcrowd your elements 
      One of my favorite tricks to give non-designers is about negative space. Whenever you’re creating something for your brand, consider the room each element has to “breathe” within the design. Just as you wouldn’t take a photo with the top of someone’s head cut off, you want to leave space around the elements (text, images, logos, etc.) of your design to avoid anything looking or feeling too cramped.  
      One of the reasons while I love Squarespace and frequently recommend it to my clients is because they make it so easy to create balance with negative space. You can add spacer blocks between photos or text to make sure nothing is too tight together or use one of the pre-made Squarespace layouts or templates that have strategic negative space built in. 

      Letting perfectionism get the best of you
      Last but not least, as a recovering perfectionist myself, I think there is such an impulse to wait until everything is “perfect” before you can launch your brand or put your business out into the world. And while I don’t think you should launch before you’ve done a few strategic things, there unfortunately isn’t a magical time when everything is perfect and you feel 100% ready. And that goes for your branding and visuals as well! Even as a brand designer myself, I’ve re-branded a few times over the years, which I think is completely natural and an extension of your business growing and evolving. 
      So don’t be afraid to create something for yourself initially and think you’ll be stuck with that look or visual identity for the rest of time. Start with something simple (I always say you can’t go wrong with simply typing your business name in a really great font—boom, instant beginner logo) that you can build off of in the future. And remember that re-branding also doesn’t have to mean scraping everything and starting from scratch. Sometimes I’ll refresh my own brand by updating the colors slightly or changing around or further customizing my Squarespace template to better reflect where my business is at that moment. Have fun with it and play around, especially at the beginning! There is always room for experimentation and discovery. 

      This post was sponsored by Squarespace, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      If Your Bedroom Is Your Desk, Here’s What to Do…

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      If I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve heard the warning, “You shouldn’t work from home in your bed,” I’d have enough money to move out of my cramped studio apartment and look for a more spacious option that would allow me the luxury of the desk/office space I’m missing. I can see where critics are coming from: a bed is a place for sleeping and, in an ideal world, having an out-of-bed workspace can have a positive impact on productivity, sleep, and our mental health. As much as I’m sure we’d all love to have a designated workspace that isn’t our bedroom, sometimes there’s just no getting around it. Whether it be having a small space to work with, attempting to work where kiddos are running around, hiding from a pet who has an affinity for your laptop keys (my cat is the queen of this), or sharing a WFH space with a partner who needs the living room for a conference call, sometimes working in bed might be your only option.
      So, let’s normalize working from home in bed! If working in your sleep space works for you, that’s 100 percent OK and totally doable. Here’s how to make the most of it.

      Separate sleep time from work time
      As tempting as it is to snooze your alarm until 8:28am to make your 8:30am start time, stay snuggled in your blanket burrito, and keep your pajamas on all day, don’t fall into the trap! In the interest of separating sleep time from work time, get up early and partake in a morning routine to get you out of bed and to signal to your brain that it’s time to wake up and seize the day. When you return to your room, transform it into a workspace. Open your blinds to let the light in, make your bed, set up your laptop, change into a designated work-from-home outfit, set your favorite productivity playlist, and get going. 

      Invest in a back pillow to improve posture
      While sitting up in bed is a good alternative to lying flat (which may put one on the fast track to a fatal, accidental nap), it offers little to no back support. These back pillows will help your alignment, assist in improving your posture, and are an absolute must for working from your bed.

      Get a laptop tray
      No desk? No problem. If you don’t already have one, laptop trays are such a game-changer for working in bed. Having a flat surface to rest your laptop, notebook, planner, and coffee is so necessary and serves the function of a desk without the bulkiness.

      Buy non-spill drinkware
      If you’re like me, no workday is complete without multiple cups of coffee, hundreds of milliliters of lemon water, and several glasses of matcha tea. I used to have a very horrible habit of placing my beverages on the corner of my laptop next to the keypad—I know it’s bad, please don’t yell at me! Now I am older, I am wiser, and I bought spill-proof cups with lids that have offered the perfect solution. The idea of past me alone gives me a mini heart-attack and sends shivers down my spine. 

      Add to your extension cord collection
      Unless your bedroom is stacked with outlets, you’re going to need to invest in additional extension cords and outlets to fuel your electronic lifelines. Most bedrooms weren’t designed to be offices and don’t have many/close enough outlets to allow us to have all of our devices charging in cord length distance of our beds. Alas, we shall adapt.

      Schedule breaks to get up and moving
      As with sitting at a desk all day, sitting in your makeshift desk-in-bed situation for prolonged periods can have a detrimental effect on our health. Dr. Jasmine Marcus, PT, DPT, CSCS told Popsugar that getting up and moving “anywhere from every half hour to every two hours” can be beneficial in combatting an otherwise sedentary workday. Schedule deliberate stretch and walk breaks throughout your day to relieve pressure on your spine.and to keep blood and endorphins flowing.

      Having a set nighttime routine
      When your workday ends, clean up your workspace, say “goodbye” to your bedroom for a few hours, and treat yourself to a change of scenery to dissociate from your workday. Just as with a morning routine, perform a night routine of choice to help you wind down and to signal to your mind and body that it’s time for bed. Set the mood for bedtime, dim the lights, get in your coziest PJs, light a calming candle, and do a relaxing activity such as journaling or reading. Try your best not to scroll on IG or TikTok—your eyes and mind deserve a break! More

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      5 Changes to Make to Your Finances Before Winter

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      As the weather changes, naturally, so will your budget. The seasons can have an impact on your finances, whether it’s setting aside a little more money for brunch season with your friends in the summer or opening up a whole new savings account for holiday gift-giving in the winter. Preparing for the colder months is more than just about breaking out your old coats and sweaters; your finances also need prepping to plan for the change to your spending, especially if you are rebuilding financially from a tough year. Here are a few ways you can change up your budget to ring in the winter season wisely, without spending your last dollar. 

      1. Reevaluate your budget 
      The spending categories in your budget, which can include household bills, dining out, fixed expenses, and more, can—and most likely will—change and shift with the seasons. From your utilities increasing from being in the house more to preparing for holiday travel, make sure to reevaluate your budget to accommodate the change to your lifestyle this winter. 
      Whether you update your budget on a weekly, monthly, or a paycheck-by-paycheck basis, take time to make any modifications to your spending categories to be prepared for winter spending. Use your favorite budgeting software to update your spending in advance of the winter season. Your extra dollars may need to go toward your shopping budget for gift giving, or toward an increase in household items. Keep your budget flexible to accommodate your winter spending habits.

      2. Save in advance for the holidays 
      As soon as the weather breaks, the holidays are looming right around the corner, which means the season of gift-giving is near. Don’t let your wallet take a hit this winter while trying to gift shop for the holidays; prepare in advance and set aside savings specifically for the holidays. 
      Prepping for the holiday season can be daunting, especially if your budget isn’t prepared for it. Evaluate your finances to see how you can allocate more funds for gifts, holiday travel, decorations, and other celebratory plans. Make a plan to attack the holiday buying season by making a checklist of everyone you plan to shop for, how much you plan to allocate to their gift, and where in your budget your spending is coming from. Put yourself on a timeline for when your spending begins and ends for gift giving this winter, as it is easy to overspend on family and friends for the holidays. 
      Traveling for the holidays to spend time with friends and family can also make a dent in your finances. Budget for travel in advance by taking advantage of any travel deals available and saving up for any expenses associated with your travels, including gas, rentals, hotel stays, and airfare costs. 
      The holidays during the winter are very festive, and decorating your home to match the joy of the season can be costly. Look to use recycled decorations for the holidays instead of purchasing new items, or look for cheaper alternatives at your favorite stores to get your home holiday-ready.

      Source: colorjoy stock

      3. Change up your spending habits 
      Being in your home more during winter will most likely tempt you to order online more, versus dining out and going shopping in your favorite stores. Shift your budget to accommodate how your spending habits will change this winter season. 
      Your budget this winter might include more money allocated toward getting your basic household and beauty items delivered, versus going into the stores to save time and to protect your health ahead of the flu season. Dining out usually slows during the winter, especially now as we’re in the middle of a pandemic, so be prepared to make room in your budget for the change in your dining out habits. You may want to shift money around to accommodate spending more on groceries instead of going out when the temperature drops.
      Shopping and maintaining your winter attire will also require a few extra dollars in your budget. Prepare to spend a little more money on clothing items if you live in a colder climate. Winter clothing is usually a little more costly to buy while in season, so before the cold hits, shop around to prepare for what you might need, like coats, gloves, scarves, and boots. Anticipating what your spending habits may look like as winter approaches will help you shift your budget around proactively for a more realistic look at how winter might change your finances and your lifestyle.  

      4. Plan for an increase in household expenses 
      During the colder months, you’re in the home more than usual, which usually includes using more heat, electricity, and household appliances. Don’t let your utility bills shock you this coming winter season; prepare for an increase in household expenses before it’s time to hibernate during the colder months. 
      The colder the season, the more heat you and your family are likely to use to stay warm inside. Set aside more for household expenses and adjust your budget to make way for higher utility bills and any other expenses related to maintaining your home throughout the winter. Check in with your utility providers to see if they have cost-efficient ways you can save money on your utility bills in the winter, as many have peak savings days they recommend or tips on how you can use less energy throughout the season to lower your bill.
      You may want to make room in your budget for weather-related home maintenance as well, like snow removal or sealing your doors and windows to keep in the heat. Damages to many homes due to winter weather can break your savings, especially if you’re not properly prepared. Make sure you set aside more money in your home budget to make way for any unexpected home expenses the winter might inflict on your home.

      5. Prepare in advance for tax season 
      Time waits for no one, and neither does tax season! If you’re already sweating at the thought of filing taxes next year and feel unprepared, you are not alone. Get ready for tax season this winter by taking a closer look at your finances before the beginning of the new year. 
      Gather up all of your tax documents and receipts from the year so that you don’t miss a beat next year during tax season. This could include any itemizable expenses from working from home, unemployment benefits due to being laid off or furloughed, or relocation expenses that may be reimbursed. 
      Take this winter season to research and find a tax professional or trusted tax software you can use before the end of the year in order to plan your filings early. Get an early look at what your tax liabilities may look like next year, and get ahead of the game!  More

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      in lifestyle and culture

      7 Everyday Hacks We’ve Been Using to Feel Our Best

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      As if you didn’t already know, I’m big on self-improvement. I much prefer a self-help book over a fiction novel, love a good makeover rom-com, and my daily affirmation is to show up as my highest self. But now that the temperatures are dropping and killer Netflix series are coming out every day (anyone else binge all of Emily in Paris in one day?), it feels like much more of a struggle to prioritize self-improvement and our overall wellbeing. So for you, dear readers (and selfishly for myself), I’ve compiled seven things we’ve been doing every day to keep up our health goals. Here are the hacks and routines our team has been buzzing about that’s helping us all eat healthier, stress less, and feel like our best selves: 

      Source: @equilibriawomen

      1. Incorporating CBD for stress-relief 
      If you haven’t heard, our team is obsessed with Equilibria CBD products. Beth has been taking baths with the Mineral Soak when she needs a little TLC, Abigail puts the Daily Drops in her morning coffee to help stop her mind from racing, and Allyson’s husband loves the Relief Cream so much that he requests it nightly to ease neck tension (Everyhusbands count too!). Whether you want an excuse to fit in a little extra self-care or need some quick stress-relief, CBD is the perfect addition to your daily routine. Not sure where to start? Try the Brilliance Box or Balance Box to try out all of our favorite products. 

      Equilibria
      Brilliance Box
      The Brilliance Box includes Daily Drops for fast-acting, targeted relief, Daily Softgels for a sustained-release, and topical Relief Cream for local discomfort.

      Equilibria
      Dynamic Duo Roller
      Expertly crafted with 75mg of full-spectrum, premium CBD to relieve pressure points, regulate mood and ease topical discomfort.

      Equilibria
      Daily Softgels
      Perfect for all-day balance, Daily Softgels are a slow-release product for long-lasting effects.

      Equilibria
      Mint Daily Drops
      Use Daily Drops to help increase a sense of calm and balance in the face of day-to-day stress.

      Source: colorjoy stock

      2. Not looking at our phones before 9am
      Some of us wake up and immediately scroll through Facebook like it’s the newspaper, while others stay in bed too long because we’re catching up on Instagram stories we missed while sleeping. But for my mental health and overall wellbeing, I’ve been challenging myself to stop looking at my phone first thing in the morning. Not only does checking social media start your day with a focus on what other people are doing in their lives (rather than setting the tone for what you’re doing in your life), but it can waste your precious morning time. Try waiting to check social media until a specific time (like 9am) or an hour after you wake up. You can also try little tricks like not checking your phone until you’ve made a cup of coffee, did some gratitude journaling, or finished your skincare routine. 

      Source: @daniellemoss_

      3. Making one small change to your diet every day
      At The Everygirl, we believe that healthy eating doesn’t have to be difficult or restrictive. We’re big fans of adding more nutritious foods into our routines instead of going on intensive diets or restricting food groups to eat healthier. For a fun challenge that won’t feel too difficult, try making one small change to your diet every day. For example, add kale to your pasta, order a side salad with your takeout, drink an extra glass of water, or replace your afternoon Goldfish snack with carrots and hummus. Making one change a day will feel manageable enough to be sustainable, and you might even find recipes or a new routines you’ll like enough to turn into habits. After all, a healthy lifestyle is just a series of minor habits that snowball into major changes.

      Source: @gabbywhiten

      4. Waking up (and going to sleep!) a few minutes earlier
      If your mornings feel like a race against the clock or an episode of Chopped (anyone else get anxious watching timed cooking shows?), you’re probably setting yourself up for an equally stressful rest of your day. Waking up even slightly earlier gives you more time so you’re not rushed through your routine, and you might even be able to fit in enjoyable activities like stretching, meditating, or gratitude journaling. If you have limited control over your mornings (like a super early work start time or a child to take care of), try waking up just 10 minutes earlier than you need to. Those 10 minutes to yourself can help you feel more in control, centered, and calmer throughout the entire day. Yes, this also means you should try to get into bed a little earlier as well. If that feels impossible, try turning off the lights just five minutes earlier than you did last night.

      Source: @alainakaz

      5. Managing money based on what sparks joy
      If Marie Kondo can do it with closets, we can do it with our bank accounts. Truth be told, as a self-proclaimed “creative,” I never even thought about taking a business course in college, and the extent of my money knowledge upon graduation was how to budget for Starbucks. But I started understanding personal finance in a different way when I realized money was just an exchange of value for the effort and energy that we’re giving about 40 hours every single week. Thinking about personal finances as my life’s energy helps me manage my money based on what’s truly worth spending on and saving on.
      For example, does it really bring you joy to get dinner with the friend who always gossips, or to buy the pair of pants you’ll never end up wearing? Managing your money based on what does and doesn’t bring you joy will reduce stress that comes with spending money on the items and experiences that you truly love. That also means you should invest your life’s energy in yourself: get the gym membership, purchase that online course, and open a savings account.

      6. Have a workday cut-off
      So your office day “ends” at 5pm, but you find yourself responding to emails, finishing projects, or putting out fires well into the night? Been there, done that! But work-life balance starts with leaving work at the office (or at your designated kitchen-table-turned-desk) and using your off-hours for yourself. Especially if you’re working from home, establish a non-negotiable end time, like 6pm (if you need an extra hour), and transition out of the workday with a closing ritual. Whether it’s Slacking your work wife good night, changing into pajamas, or lighting a candle and closing your laptop, a ritual signals to the brain that it’s no longer work time. Not only will establishing a firm end of the workday help with improving work-life balance, but it will prevent you from stressing about your to-do list for the next day. 

      Source: @mylittlebooktique

      7. Going on more walks
      Since being in quarantine, we’ve been adjusting the way we think about fitness. Personally, I’m no longer prioritizing a designated workout time (which meant no exercise at all if I couldn’t fit in a good calorie-burn), and instead, I’m doing what I can to live less sedentary. The easiest (and best) way to be more active throughout the day is to go on more walks. Looks like my Fitbit was onto something: getting in your steps has many physical and mental health benefits.
      Plus, it’s not only good for you, but it’s enjoyable and easy to fit into a busy schedule. Especially after being stuck indoors 24/7 for the majority of 2020, I crave being outdoors more than I ever have. I’ve been going on more hikes, using 10-minute work breaks to take a walk around the block, and walking to the nearby coffee shop instead of driving. Cue up a podcast, grab a warm jacket, and get outside for more walks before the weather gets too cold. 

      What hacks or routines help you feel your best?

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More