More stories

  • in

    Everything You Need To Know About Your Enneagram Type—And Why It Matters

    If you’re a wellness fan and an incessant Instagram scroller, chances are, you’ve seen numbers appearing in the posts and bios of some of your favorite influencers or maybe also a number and then ‘w’ and another number? This is the influencer’s Enneagram sign and a calling card for self-love and awareness. While Meyer-Briggs has ruled the personality-typing roost in previous years, the Enneagram has quickly become a favorite self-discovery technique.
    Surprisingly, the Enneagram isn’t exactly anything new—it actually has ancient roots, with some arguing that it can be traced back to the geometry of Pythagorean mathematics. Easily proving age ain’t nothing but a number, its popularity today rests on several things: the simplicity of its format (it is made up of nine types, each with different aspects of personality), behaviors, fears, and desires.
    “The Enneagram is a personality typing tool that breaks down the patterns of human behavior into nine distinct types. Each type has a specific motivation, along with basic fears, levels of health, and so forth. It’s particularly helpful in showing us our blind spots and coping mechanisms,” explained Sarajane Case of Enneagram and Coffee. “I think we’re seeing our culture through a kind of revolution—a desire for more self-awareness and inclusion. The Enneagram is a great way for us to create dynamic and open relationships with ourselves and others.”
    And why it’s gained popularity is because once you dig into it, it goes way deeper than just a personality test. “It’s a personalized roadmap for self-growth, relational health, and more,” shared Laura Miltenberger and Jennifer Andrew of XO, Enneagram. “There’s a lot of hope in the Enneagram because it’s all about the freedom to change and grow. It’s not about labels. Instead of just speaking to who you are right now, the Enneagram teaches you about who you have the potential to be.”
    But it doesn’t stop with learning your type. This is just the start of the Enneagram journey. Once you get into it, there are lots of ways it can help you reflect, develop, and evolve your thinking, behaviors, and relationships. To help you get started, we’ve broken it down into nine things to know about the Enneagram or—if you’re already an Enneagrammer—some new ideas from true Enneagram experts.

    Everyone’s Enneagram Journey Is Different
    We come to the Enneagram for all sorts of different reasons. Whether to gain greater confidence and self-awareness, to help us in our work and career, to enhance our relationships, or all of these and more, the Enneagram is an evolving tool for self-discovery and helps foster empathy and compassion for others.
    “I first started working with the Enneagram as a way to better relate to my partner,” Case shared. “We found it initially helpful in understanding our differences. As time has gone on, I’ve worked with the Enneagram to bring more awareness to my own patterns of behavior and how I show up both positively and negatively in my life and the life of others.”
    As friends who work on XO, Enneagram together, Andrew and Miltenberger both found their way to the Enneagram on very different paths. “I first began to use the Enneagram as a holistic health coach,” Miltenberger explained. “I was so impressed with its ability to help my clients find more self-awareness, tools for their relationships, and insight into their typical ways of coping with stress. But when I finally found my own number, I wasn’t just enlightened, I was moved. The Enneagram spoke to parts of myself that I’d forgotten about, important pieces of who I am and who I want to be.”
    It can be an uncomfortable process at first, Andrew said. “It made me recognize some unhealthy patterns I had in my life. It also helped me put words to parts of myself that I’d never been able to describe, which made me feel seen and understood.”

    The Types
    “The Enneagram describes nine different types—nine different ways of seeing the world,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Personality quizzes and assessments often deal with surface behaviors and traits, but the Enneagram speaks to deeper parts of who you are. It doesn’t just teach you about your strengths, it brings light to your shortcomings too. So when used mindfully, it has the power to set you on a path toward the healthiest and most whole version of yourself.”
    The nine Types are commonly known by the following names, but these can differ slightly:

    The Perfectionist – The Rational, Idealistic Type: principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.
    The Helper – The Caring, Interpersonal Type: demonstrative, generous, people-pleasing, and possessive.
    The Achiever – The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: adaptive, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.
    The Individualist – The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.
    The Investigator – The Intense, Cerebral Type: perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.
    The Loyalist – The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.
    The Enthusiast – The Busy, Fun-Loving Type: spontaneous, versatile, distractible, and scattered.
    The Challenger – The Powerful, Dominating Type: self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.
    The Peacemaker – The Easygoing, Self-Effacing Type: receptive, reassuring, agreeable, and complacent.

    These descriptions—from The Enneagram Institute—are just a brief overview of the types. To really get into it and discover which type you may be, it’s important to read detailed descriptions of all of them, Case advised.
    “Once you find your type, you’ll likely know. Reading the description of your type can feel a bit like reading your own journals back to yourself,” Case explained. “I know it’s tempting to take a test and get a quick answer or to rely on someone else to tell you your type. I want to challenge you to take the time to research yourself. You are so worth the exploration.”

    Source: Caroline Sharpnack for The Everygirl

    But How Do You Know When You Know?
    This is a question many on the road through the Enneagram will spend a lot of time pondering. And that’s totally normal. It’s super easy to believe you’re one type, then read about another that resonates and feel confused about which you could be. It’s also very easy to mistype too, as there are lots of similarities between them. “By reading more and by listening to the experience of others who have already discovered their type, you’ll begin to narrow down your dominant type,” Miltenberger and Andrew said. “Tests and quizzes can be fun, but don’t rely on your results, as they are frequently inaccurate. You’re the only one who can discover your type. It takes some introspection, some reading, and a willingness to look at yourself with honesty.”
    And uncomfortable as it may be, it also helps to look at the more negative aspects of the types as well as positive ones to really help shine a light on your true type. “The truth is that we all can or would like to relate to the positive aspects of each type,” Case added. “It’s the difficult or trying elements that force us to get really honest. It can feel a bit like being exposed when we read the lower-level behaviors of our number. When you read a type and your cheeks get red and you want to hide under the table—that may be your number.”
    Both XO, Enneagram and Enneagram and Coffee offer lots of resources on their Instagram accounts to help with this discovery process—even sharing fun memes and videos, which, while lighthearted, can actually further help the identification process and really help bring that lightbulb moment for you.

    What Are Wings?
    Once you’ve found your type or, at least, the one you feel most resonates with you for now, you can explore the wings of that type and drill down into the type on a deeper level. Wings are the numbers directly adjacent to your Enneagram type, so for example, a type 1 would have type 9 or type 2 as its potential wings.
    “They come into play as a way to balance out the personality patterns of our number. We all have both wings available to us, yet we typically lean into one or the other for support. The ultimate goal is to balance out your wings to fully support your personality,” Case explained. “You’re the same type throughout your life, but your wing can actually shift and change as your life does. Think of your wing as what you bring in to round out your personality patterns. You may need something different for that at different stages of life.”
    For some of us, the wing helps confirm our type and solidify it; for others, the wing descriptions could be completely off and help us reassess. But don’t stress about the wings—the most important thing on the Enneagram is to discover your type. It’s OK to remain undecided on your wing. Case has a great podcast episode dedicated just to wings.

    And What About Subtypes?
    Once you’re in the Enneagram zone, you can read on about subtypes or “instincts.” There are three of these, and typically, you’ll figure out one that is dominant for you. They are more primal and instinctual than the personality aspects of the types and wings but are often the powerful subconscious driving force behind many of our life choices and actions. Your dominant one will relate to what is a priority for you—what you need to get what you want from this world and what area of life you usually attend to first.
    “The three subtypes are One-On-One, Social, and Self-Preservation,” Miltenberger and Andrew explained. “Your dominant subtype describes the way you most instinctually interact with the world around you. It describes what you most naturally pay attention to and what you initially respond to. The One-On-One subtype pays most attention to individual relationships, the Social subtype to the group or social structures, and the Self-Preservation subtype to needs and perceived danger. Bringing awareness to your subtype is a great opportunity to create more health and balance in your life.”
    Understanding this adds another layer of insight into all aspects of who you are and why you are, and you can use this to really dig deeper into your self-discovery and development, helping to identify anything you feel is working or not working for you.

    Source: TONL
    You’ve Found Your Type—Now What?
    Your journey doesn’t end with the identification of your type. In fact, this is where it all begins. Working with the Enneagram can help you feel validated, understood, and, best of all, help forge a greater sense of self-compassion. On the flip side, it can also make you confront some of your more challenging aspects. And this is where it can get a little harder but can also be incredibly rewarding.
    The first step to working with it is really about acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, and then establishing a support plan for them, Case recommended. “Celebrate your strengths and build a life that helps them shine. Open your eyes to your blind spots, noting your motivators and how you receive love, exploring your contribution to relationships, softening your path out of behavior patterns, and finally turning that into something beautiful and sharing it with the world.”
    A good way to do this is to read a variety of websites, books, and Instagram accounts, and listen to podcasts—really get immersed in all the Enneagram resources out there. Many Enneagram experts will also suggest you journal daily, even if just for short bursts on guided topics tailored to your Enneagram type and your discoveries and thoughts. If you’re a list person, make lists of things you’re identifying and learning or what you want to achieve.
    “There’s no wrong way to practice this,” Miltenberger and Andrew added. “Let the Enneagram teach you about yourself. But remember to approach all of these things with a lot of kindness and gentleness toward yourself: You have plenty of time to get to wherever it is that you want to go. You’re multifaceted—for every shadow in you, there’s a diamond, too. You might have growing pains now, but remember that you’re already strong. You might have room for growth, but you’re loved and acceptable already, just as you are.”

    Lean In…
    The Enneagram isn’t just beneficial to your self-acceptance; it radiates out and can be a useful tool in supporting you in the workplace, for your career progression and life goals, and in your relationships. “It’s a tool to allow you access to self-awareness that often takes people decades to figure out,” Case said. “The more aware we are of our own patterns and what we bring to our relationships, our job, and our habits, the more ease we can bring into them through owning our strengths and creating a support plan for our weaknesses.”
    It can really help you work on your compassion and empathy for others as well as yourself. “Since the Enneagram helps you identify your stress patterns and coping mechanisms, it also illuminates which self-care practices will be most vital and impactful for you,” Miltenberger and Andrew pointed out. “And when it comes to relationships, the Enneagram helps you understand where other people are coming from and how to interact with them most effectively. With your work, the Enneagram is amazing for identifying your innate strengths and values, which leads to better career choices and fulfillment.”
    It’s also valuable information to bring into therapy sessions to help a partner or others generally understand you better. “More than anything, the Enneagram is a great tool for language,” Case added. “It gives us a way to express what we’re going through, why we’re going through it, and what we may need.”

    What If You’re Not Happy With Your Type?
    OK, so let’s admit it: On face value, some of the types sound a little more appealing than others. But the Enneagram, in all its egalitarian wisdom, is about just that: equality. There is no best or worst—all the types have their strengths and blind spots, and all are on the path to self-awareness.
    “If you feel unhappy with your type, it probably means you’ve discovered something that your personality has been holding you back from, so there’s a little grieving that comes with that,” Miltenberger and Andrew shared. “We all have different ways of getting in our own way. But awareness is the first step in any sort of change or growth. So try to see this new awareness as an opportunity to find more balance in your life. You’re brave for wanting to look at yourself with honesty and wanting to grow, but be gentle with yourself in the process.”

    To Test Or Not To Test?
    Many experts recommend against doing a test to determine your type—usually because there are so many that can offer inaccurate or misleading results for many of us, and identifying our type or feeling confident we’ve picked the “right” one for us are legit concerns. Mistyping can also be an issue. At this point, it’s probably worth taking a test to reinforce your type or help you see something you might have missed. There’s one test that Case recommends as having one of the best records on accuracy—this can be found at Integrative9.com and is worth a go for us type-TBDs.
    There are also lots of books, podcasts, inspiring IG accounts, and other ways to keep learning about the Enneagram. Tune into Case’s fab podcast Enneagram and Coffee to learn more about her and her wonderful insights.
    XO, Enneagram has a great site full of resources and its Instagram account offers ideas, prompts, self-care challenges, journaling practices, and a direct line to quiz them on all your Enneagram questions. For reading, they recommend The Road Back to You, The Wisdom of the Enneagram, The Path Between Us, The Sacred Enneagram, and The Complete Enneagram.
    Oh, and in case you’re wondering by now, this article was written by a 9 wing 1 who took a few gos at finding her type, but once she did, well, it was a real revelation.

    The Enneagram Type You Should Date, Based on Your Own Enneagram More

  • in

    The Summer Wellness Trend You Should Try, Based on Your Enneagram

    As a new season fast approaches–one filled with warmer weather, beach days, and hopefully a few long weekend getaways–it’s the perfect time to switch up your wellness routine and add something new to the mix. Wellness trends have been popping up everywhere (#grateful that TikTok introduced us to the Hot Girl Walk back in 2021 and YouTube showed us the 12-3-30 workout that had everyone running to buy a treadmill). The list of wellness trends to try is endless and continues to grow, but not every trend will be the right one for you. To make it easier, we’ve broken down the hottest summer wellness trends and picked out which one you should try based on your enneagram.

    CBD Oil
    Type Ones are all about getting things done. They are purposeful, self-controlled, and rational, and while they are known to excel at the office, they may need a little extra help relaxing and chilling out, which is why CBD oil is the perfect trend for a Type One. Whether you’re adding a few drops to your morning coffee or taking a roller on the go, CBD oil is perfect for helping to ease the nerves and relax a little during high-stress moments. Everyone needs a little help in managing stress, but especially for a Type One, CBD will be their new best friend.
    To try our favorite, use code THEEVERYGIRL for 20% off your first order!

    Facial Massage
    Type Twos are known to be very caring and generous, but it’s time to put some of that care back onto themselves. The perfect wellness trend for a Type Two involves a little indulgence and pampering, like giving yourself a facial massage. Invest in an ice roller, gua sha tool, or a jade roller, and set aside some time each week for a facial massage. Not only will it feel incredibly relaxing, but these tools can also help with lymphatic drainage, puffiness, and wrinkles. Talk about a win-win!

    12-3-30 Workout
    Type Threes value wellness activities that make them feel good and challenge them to better themselves. As a driven and success-oriented Type Three, the ever-popular 12-3-30 workout is an easy choice for their fitness routine. The workout involves setting a treadmill to a 12 percent incline and walking at 3 miles per minute for 30 minutes. It may sound easy, but do not be fooled–this workout can be intense. Type Threes will love incorporating it into their new routine and feel accomplished after completing the workout and seeing their progress. 

    Guided Journaling
    Type Fours can be sensitive and withdrawn while still being expressive. This combination makes guided journaling the perfect wellness trend for them. It is a creative practice that allows them to express their inner thoughts and emotions in a safe place, with equal parts guidance and imagination. There are many different types of guided journals available: The Five-Minute Journal, gratitude journals, or even Q&A journals, which ask introspective questions. Type Fours will be eager to try out this creative wellness trend. 

    Adaptogens
    As the perceptive and innovative one of the group, Type Fives are known for being curious and willing to try new things. Adaptogens (the plant-based herb known for reducing stress) are right up their alley. While this wellness trend has been circling on Instagram and TikTok for quite some time now, it has roots in Traditional Chinese Medicine and Ayurvedic healing traditions. Try adding the powder to juices and smoothies, or find in a tea form as well.

    Meditation App
    The best wellness trend for a Type Six is a meditation app. Sixes are known to be security-oriented, responsible, and sometimes anxious. Creating a meditation practice will help any Six remove anxious feelings and incorporate more zen into their life. There are so many meditation apps to choose from–Headspace, Unplug, SuperHuman–and each one has lots of options for any situation (walking meditations, sleep meditations, five-minute meditations, etc.). Start a 30-day challenge and see how it goes.

    Digital Detox
    Type Sevens are busy, spontaneous, and sometimes a little scattered. With the chaos of day-to-day life, a digital detox is just what they need to unwind and relax. Taking a break from all social media platforms for a week or simply unplugging for an hour every night before bed will do wonders for a Type Seven. In a world that is deeply attached to technology, unplugging for a period of time can have vast benefits on sleep and mental well-being. 

    Cold Therapy
    Type Eights are powerful, willful, and not afraid to back down from a challenge. So naturally, something challenging like cold therapy is a great fit for their confident spirit. There are different ways to practice cold therapy, like plunging into a cold pool or shower or in a cryo-chamber, but either way, cold therapy can boost the metabolism and help reduce inflammation, swelling, and sore muscles. This wellness trend is an intense practice and can have great results, but it’s important to make sure it is done safely, so talk to your doctor about the best cold therapy methods for you.

    Hot Girl Walk
    As the easy-going, agreeable, and receptive type, a Hot Girl Walk was made for Nines. The premise of a Hot Girl Walk is that each day you go for a walk outside for about one hour, and you think about three things: What you are grateful for, what you want to achieve, and lastly, how hot you are (duh!). They are simple and a great way to get into a positive, healthy mindset. The Hot Girl Walk was coined by TikToker Mia and is a wellness trend made for those warm summer days ahead.

    What You Should Manifest This Year, Based on Your Enneagram More

  • in

    How to Have a Better Relationship, According to Your Enneagram

    Let’s be real: Relationships can be complicated. The good news? They don’t have to be. Thanks to the Enneagram, we can show up as our best and most authentic selves in our relationships while better understanding ourselves and our other halves, no matter how different they are. And the result is deeper connection, mutual respect, and empathy. Grab your partner and read on to learn the strengths, differences, and motivations of each Enneagram type and find out where you fit. 

    Type Ones are great in relationships because they always have a sense of their priorities. It’s rare you’ll meet a Type One who doesn’t have a grasp on what it is they want in a relationship and where you fall in line with their other duties and identities. They’re also known for being faithful, helpful, and dedicated in relationships, meaning you can expect them to be all-in. 
    On the other side, Ones are known for being perfectionists, which can mean they’re critical and have overly high expectations of a partner. Type Ones should be aware of their expectations and work on finding a medium with their partner. Instead of expecting your partner to have the dishes done when you get home (without asking first) or wondering why they haven’t asked about your weekend plans yet, ask for what you want. I know, this goes against basically everything in your nature as a Type One, but unless your partner can read minds (we’re all jealous), there’s no way for them to know what you want and, in turn, meet your expectations. 

    The Helper is all about doing what they can for their loved ones. They know how to make you feel loved and appreciated, and they’re great at validating the feelings of others (even if it means doubting their own). 
    Because Type Twos are so focused on what the other person wants or needs, they often struggle to get their own needs met in a relationship. Instead of worrying about what your partner wants for dinner or how they’re feeling after a fight, ask for what you need. If your feelings were hurt or you feel like they’re not taking your ideas into consideration, this is your chance to tell them how you feel and exactly how they can support you too. A relationship goes both ways, and because a Two is so focused on their partner, they often forget to prioritize their needs too. 
    Twos can also be possessive at times, causing them to show an excess of love to their partner in an attempt to woo them or keep them in their lives. Talk to your partner about how they personally want to feel love (might we suggest the Love Languages test?) so you can give them exactly what they want too.

    If you’re familiar with Love Languages, Threes almost always feel loved through words of affirmation. They like knowing their partner is proud of their achievements, whether it’s something big, such as a promotion at work, or small, like finding the best new restaurant for date nights. Threes love to feel appreciated, and because of this, they enjoy giving to their partner too. 
    Because Threes put so much of their worth into their career, they often bring that into relationships. Talking about work over dinner, being absentminded when you’re together, and putting your work-related stress onto your partner can make your partner feel like they’re not as important to you as your career. To combat this, create work-free times with your partner. Much like some of us are with our cell phones (guilty), Threes can often be that way about their career. Give yourself two hours when you’re out to dinner or just catching up on Bridgerton where you occupy yourself with your partner. No work, all play. 

    Fours are known for being creative, but in relationships, they are playful, fun, and spirited. They are open to new experiences and love getting to share their creativity and passion with someone else. They are typically emotional and have a strong idea of who they are. In relationships, this means they’re romantic and intuitive. They love sending love notes, cards, and gifts to their loved ones, and they feel loved when their partner understands and compliments their self-expression (such as their art!). 
    In a relationship, a Four can be a little overbearing at times. They can be moody and have a hard time separating their emotions from their day-to-day lives. As a Four, it is important to remind your partner that they aren’t to blame for your emotions. Fours do not like being called overdramatic or being told they’re overreacting in a situation; therefore, it’s important to talk with your partner about your emotions instead of closing them off. You don’t have to be alone with your feelings!

    Fives love to approach situations with data on hand. They’re natural teachers who observe their surroundings and analyze situations deeply before committing or speaking up. Unlike Fours, they take time alone to process and understand their emotions before acting on them, which can make a partner think they’re uninterested or uninterrupted by a conflict (which isn’t usually the case). They have a thirst for knowledge and love to learn, making them a great companion for intellectual dates, such as going to new exhibitions, museums, libraries, and events in your city. 
    In their quest for knowledge, Fives can seem somewhat withdrawn or even contentious or irritated with a partner. While they are generally introverted and prefer to stay in, they can get frustrated when a partner always wants to pull them out of their comfort zone. Similar to Type Three, create times with your partner to discuss your lives without judgment. Your partner wants to know what you’re learning and what is interesting to you at the moment, so don’t be afraid to geek out about your latest project. They love that side of you too!

    We all know Sixes are all about commitment, making them perfect for long-term relationships. They’re loyal and feel content knowing their relationships are safe and secure. They can be introverted and extroverted, so they’re easy to open up to but also to have fun with. Helping others is important to a Six, and they feel irresponsible when they think they haven’t fulfilled that duty. They are also independent, so they’re able to do their own thing once in a while without worrying about their partner.
    Sixes are some of the most trustworthy people; however, they’re not quick to trust others themselves. This can make them seem self-conscious, nervous, and even defensive in relationships where the other person doesn’t feel trusted or accepted. Trusting another person is hard at first, but it takes being confident in yourself and your relationship to get you there. Spend some time every day focusing on building up your own self-confidence. You can’t be the best version of yourself with a partner if you’re constantly worrying about how you look or if they still like you (you look great, and, yes, they do!). Then, start building trust by allowing yourself to be vulnerable at times. Open up to your partner about your insecurities in the relationship, and discuss from there.

    The adventurers of the Enneagram, Sevens are all about a party. They’re upbeat and positive, knowing how to find the good in most situations. They almost always seem happy and carefree, which can sometimes seem stressful to a partner who’s another type. 
    Although Sevens are the life of the party, they can also seem narcissistic and distracted in relationships. They have a short attention span, which is great for having fun but stressful for discussing issues in a relationship. We know it’s hard, but Sevens, you have to slow down. Allow your partner to get serious every once in a while. Being an optimist doesn’t have to mean you never discuss negativity or the stress and anxiety each other goes through. However, make sure you’re letting your partner speak up. While they certainly love your center-of-attention personality, they also want to feel understood and heard too.

    Eights are confident and outgoing, but this can also manifest itself as arrogance and competition. They are natural leaders who view life’s challenges as exciting, and they’re never afraid of conflict. When issues arise in a relationship, they’re the first to be honest and ready to discuss what’s going on with their partner. 
    A reminder to Eights: It’s OK to show your vulnerable side. Eights feel like they have to have everything together all the time, and they can’t share the tender side of themselves without getting angry or frustrated first. To make this easier, practice active listening with your partner. No more trying to come up with a response before the other person is even finished (as an Eight, I totally understand this!). Listen to your partner as they speak, and empathize with whatever they’re going through, no matter how big or small it may seem to you. You’ll be able to relate to them on a deeper level while also prioritizing some quality time.

    Nines can often be mistyped as Twos because they are overly accommodating in relationships and can be people-pleasers. However, what makes them different from Twos is their drive to keep harmony and peace in their relationships. Known as the peacemakers, they are active listeners and sensitive to other people’s emotions. 
    Nines will do anything to avoid conflict, which can sometimes cause situations to never reach a solution (the opposite of Eights!). Instead of your usual, speak up about what’s going on with you and your partner. Whether it’s about your sex life, someone forgetting to take out the trash, or something bigger, be honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and what’s going on. Remember that not all conflict has to be disruptive; there is such a thing as productive conflict. 

    The Enneagram Type You Should Date
    (based on your own Enneagram) More

  • in

    What You Should Manifest This Year, Based on Your Enneagram

    Manifestation isn’t anything new (nor is it magic!). In a very practical sense, manifesting is about living a life of intention because the more energy and intention you direct toward your desires, the more results you see. I keep a manifestation journal where I envision the specific changes I want to see in my life in great detail that I often revisit and use to intentionally make those outcomes a reality. And to help with manifestation, you can turn to your Enneagram, which can tell you about your deepest desires, fears, and core motivations. As a Four, it’s how I realized that creativity was important to me in my career. To make this your best year yet, read on to find out what you should manifest and where to focus your manifestation powers, according to your Enneagram.

    For the ambitious and hardworking Ones, this year’s manifestation is all about self-acceptance. Envision the version of yourself outside of what you think others expect of you and give yourself your own stamp of approval. Ones are loved and worthy, regardless of whether or not they fall short of their goals. Choose to be happy now, not just when the next goal is met. Repeat an affirmation like “my value goes beyond my achievements” and be intentional about infusing joy into your life wherever and whenever you can.

    As selfless caregivers, Twos are ready to manifest a caring relationship because they are always giving. Intentionally seek out relationships that are about a balanced give and take, like a partner who will always check on you or ask about how you feel. Think about what relationships with people who support, encourage, and inspire you would feel and look like, and define what the boundaries around your time and energy mean to you. Manifesting balanced relationships will help you create the connections that leave you feeling appreciated.

    For Threes who put a lot of pressure on themselves, this is the year to manifest peace. Focus on the things in your life that prioritize relaxation and soothe you. Recall a memory or visualize a place that makes you feel the calmest. For me, it’s the sounds of rain falling outside my window or waves crashing on the beach. Close your eyes and take yourself to the place that lets you relax any tension in your body.

    As a Type Four, you are always finding new creative outlets and are only fulfilled if you’re truly imaginative. Manifest greater inspiration and a career opportunity that will allow you to be more creative. Picture exactly what it would feel like to get up every day and do work that excites you and allows you to express yourself creatively, learn a new skill that gets you closer to that goal, and look up your dream company that encourages individual creativity and see if there are any opportunities available. Feel a little underqualified? Fight the career FOMO and apply anyway.

    If you’re a Type Five, 2022 is your year to manifest abundance. This can be an abundance of new information to learn in a career that challenges your critical thinking or more income to feel more freedom and indulge in the things that make you happy. As the minimalist of the Enneagrams, Fives often believe that they have more than enough. Picture life without the feeling of scarcity and the steps you can take, like practicing gratitude. Start a gratitude journal and pick one to three things every day that you’re grateful for in your life. This will help you have a more positive outlook and manifest more abundance in your life.

    Sixes are acutely aware of all the things that might go wrong. This Enneagram type would benefit from manifesting all good things because Type Sixes are motivated by their need for security. Try drowning out the worst-case scenarios that can play out in your head and replace them with positive ones. Believe that good things are coming and picture what the feeling of safety feels like. Be intentional about not creating self-fulfilling prophecies and make decisions based on the feeling of safety, not fear. Focus on trusting that you’ve done all that you could to create safety and that you can handle anything that comes your way. 

    For the Enneagram that loves fun and exploration, manifesting the trip of their dreams is what this year is all about. Take little steps to bring you closer to ziplining in the Caribbean or dinner overlooking Santorini, Greece: research how much flights would cost, look up where you would stay, or just make a vision board of the destination you want to visit most. Even the tiniest acts can help you move toward your goal and manifest an exciting new place to discover. Even if your dream destination isn’t a reality for 2022, you’ll be manifesting more adventure, whether it’s a weekend trip every month or spending your Saturdays exploring places in your own city you’ve never been.

    Eights are natural-born leaders who love making an impact. Since Eights can sometimes feel disconnected from others, try manifesting community this year. You’re already passionate, so why not find a group of people who also care about the causes that matter, and use your assertiveness and influence more intentionally. Envision what it would feel like to be a part of something bigger and what a supportive, collaborative community looks like for you. Search for local opportunities to volunteer or take the lead by organizing a food drive.

    Nines use their communication skills to bring peace amongst their loved ones, often at the cost of their own. Nines can step into their power when they not only think of others but also think of themselves. Manifest main-character energy to make yourself a priority, and shift your perspective to consider that it’s OK (and necessary) to sometimes be the center of attention or romanticize your life. What would it look and feel like if you said how you felt, regardless of any potential conflict? Journal about situations where future you put yourself first.

    How You Need to Recharge, According to Your Enneagram More

  • in

    How You Need to Recharge, According to Your Enneagram

    I first found my Enneagram type with my husband during an at-home date night while our son slept, and it immediately made us understand each other better. Suddenly, all those little quirks and pet peeves had us going, ah, I get it now. Not only did it leave us with more compassion (and patience!) with each other but with ourselves too. The Enneagram gives insight into understanding who you are by shedding light on your needs, what drives you, what frightens you, and how you experience or perceive life, which means it also helps you care for yourself.
    How we care for ourselves can also mean how we provide our mind, body, and spirit with rest. Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith, a board-certified internal medicine physician and work-life integration researcher, defines “rest” in seven different types, ranging from mental rest to sensory rest. While each individual often needs every kind of rest during a lifetime, they can also be applied to the nine enneagram types to identify what you truly need and the type of rest you may need to focus on more.
    A brief disclosure: Regardless of your Enneagram, what’s most important is to listen to what you need and take time for yourself, so discover and create a routine that works for and feels good to you. But if you need a little help identifying why you’re feeling so drained or how to best care for yourself, the Enneagram is an amazing tool to gain insight. Read on for what type of rest you need and how to best care for yourself, based on your Enneagram type.

    For Ones who place a lot of emphasis on getting everything “just right,” the pressure to continuously perform at such high internal standards can be a lot. Ones need to care for themselves by implementing Dr. Dalton-Smith’s creative rest. You don’t have to identify as “creative” or work in a creative field to benefit from creative rest. Creative rest involves taking a moment to appreciate beauty in all forms, from music and art to nature’s beauty like trees and beaches. Taking a break for creativity is good for Ones because it’s no-pressure, carefree fun where there really is no such thing as “failing” or making a mistake. They can get lost in an activity that doesn’t have an objective or something that has to be checked off a list, which is good balance to recharge.

    Twos are the empathetic caregivers who don’t think twice about putting others’ needs above their own. This Enneagram can care for themselves by implementing Dr. Dalton-Smith’s social rest. Social rest encourages taking a moment for yourself and being alone, which is a way for Twos to set a dedicated “me time” to combat their selflessness and refill their cup before pouring into others. Avoid overextending and start saying “yes” to yourself and prioritizing your own needs. This can look like designated alone time once a week or setting boundaries and asking for help when you need it.

    Threes are often workaholics whose identities are wrapped in their success, and any failure can leave them thinking that they’re a failure. Dr. Dalton-Smith’s mental rest is perfect for the energetic Threes. Mental rest involves quieting their busy brains and staying present and in the moment. Threes can care for themselves by setting scheduled breaks during their workday and eating their meals away from screens. A mindfulness practice—anything from yoga, meditation, or adult coloring—can be beneficial to keep Threes in the present moment. Also, setting boundaries on your availability outside of working hours can give you the space to understand who you are outside of the identity you’ve created for yourself. Indulge your curiosity and try something that you’re not the best at (you’ll find that your self-worth is not tied up to others’ perceptions of you—promise!). 

    Fours would greatly benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s physical (passive) rest because of their tendency to over-identify their flaws and worry that something is missing in their lives compared to others. The passive component of physical rest involves getting high-quality sleep and naps, so focus all your attention on physically recharging. Create a bedroom oasis that you can retreat to, have a go-to evening routine to calm you down, prioritize getting to bed at a decent hour, and move your body during the day to help improve your sleep at night.

    Often found enjoying their independence and seeking knowledge, Fives are energized in their alone time. To cope with their fear of being overwhelmed by the needs of others and the dull aspects of life, introverted Fives protect themselves by setting clear boundaries and retreating into the internal worlds they’ve created. As a result, they can benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s physical (active) rest. This type of physical rest is more focused on using movement and exercise to recharge the body and get you out of your head. A HIIT session or spin class not your thing? Incorporate any activities that get you moving, like yoga or even stretching, to help you unwind and reconnect with your body.

    Sixes use their logic and vigilance to anticipate worst-case scenarios to cope with their fear of being unprepared. To prevent feeling anxious and overwhelmed by always staying a few steps ahead, Sixes can implement Dr. Dalton-Smith’s sensory rest. This can look like reducing the sensory inputs in your day-to-day, like pausing notifications and dimming lights. Dedicate time to unplug and close your eyes to visualize places that evoke feelings of peace. Try a soothing daily affirmation like, “I take it one day at a time” or “I let go of what I can’t change.” The important thing is that you own your power by honoring and naming your fears but create space in your life to not sweat the small stuff. 

    Because Sevens often fear and repress negative emotions, Dr. Dalton-Smith’s emotional rest is perfect for Sevens. While finding the positive in any situation is a good skill, habitual escapism prevents individuals from being their authentic selves and sharing how they’re really feeling beyond the automatic “I’m fine” response. Allow yourself the opportunity to spend some time alone and address your feelings. Create a daily routine to journal your thoughts and be genuine about how you actually feel, or find a therapist to help you do the work if it feels particularly difficult. Sometimes, the glass will actually feel half empty, and it’s important for you to resist the urge to push that down.

    Dr. Dalton-Smith’s spiritual rest is perfect for Eights because they can feel disconnected from others due to their competitive and intimidating nature. Remind yourself that you are a part of humanity and consider channeling your desire to take action by volunteering for a cause that’s important to you (even if you’re not in charge!). Try writing thank-you notes to your colleagues and loved ones or set days to catch up with friends to allow yourself to give and receive love from others. Remember that vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength to be nurtured—especially in leadership. 

    Nines are willing to go the extra mile to avoid rocking the boat, but don’t get it twisted—Nines resist control, which might show up as passive aggression. Like Twos, Nines can benefit from Dr. Dalton-Smith’s social rest to establish boundaries that allow them to put their needs at the top of their list. Say how you feel and declare what you want, take up space, set boundaries, “decline” calls or invites when you’re not feeling it, and resist the urge to stick to the auto-pilot routine and plan a spontaneous trip with your friends or partner. 

    The Type of Journaling You Should Do
    Based on Your Enneagram More

  • in

    The Productivity Tip You Need To Hear, Based on Your Enneagram

    If you’re wondering what your enneagram has to do with productivity, it turns out: a lot. When it comes to productivity, you may think of hustle culture where the grind never stops. Productivity is often tied to the idea of more: more work, more action, more money, more results. But what if we’ve been looking at productivity all wrong? While there are many viral tips on how to work smarter, faster, and more efficiently, perhaps the biggest key to success has been overlooked: you. By understanding your core motivation, mental blocks, and roadmap to the highest version of yourself, you can adjust your workflow to create less stress and more ease. 
    The Enneagram helps you gain a clear understanding of yourself and what you need to tap into your genius zone. The truth is, everyone requires different things when it comes to getting into their flow state: What method or structure works for one person might not resonate the same with another. If you’re struggling to sharpen your focus during the workday or feeling a general lack of inspiration, read on for the productivity tips most aligned to your Enneagram type.

    Learn when things can be “good enough”
    Ones are naturally hardworking and disciplined. Just as much as their eye for detail and strive for excellence can be a strength, it can also be a weakness when it interferes with knowing when a project is finished. In the eyes of a One, nothing is ever quite good enough, which can cause a great deal of stress and tension. A good tip for Ones is knowing the difference between “perfect” and “good enough.” Decide which tasks are worth your time and energy and which ones don’t require your full capacity. For example, you probably don’t need to reread that email you wrote to your boss 10 times before hitting send. This will free up more time for things that actually matter, so you can become more focused on goals that matter.

    Prioritize and set boundaries 
    Twos are the types of workers who love to stay connected and pitch in wherever they can. In fact, they feed off of being seen as helpful and appreciated, which may contribute to them taking on too much. While Twos often don’t mind bearing the burden for others, this can harbor deep resentment over time. It’s good practice for Twos to create a list of the biggest tasks they need to prioritize each week so they can work through those first before chipping in to help others. It’s also important for Twos to set healthy boundaries when it comes to their work. For example, try turning off your notifications when you’re focusing on a task and only offer to take on more when you’ve finished everything on your plate. 

    Check in with your goals
    Threes are known as “The Achiever” for a reason: They have a clear vision of their goals and what they need to accomplish them. But sometimes, Threes can fall into the trap of working from the outside-in rather than the inside-out. This can mean shifting their image to be whoever they think they need to be to fit the mold of success. For this reason, it’s important for Threes to check in with their goals often so they work toward the things that are right for them and don’t waste their energy on what’s not. If you’re a Three, try vision boarding or working with a coach so you can identify your long-term goals, and then create micro-goals to get to where you want to go. When Threes are clearly rooted in who they are, their productivity soars and their capacity for greatness expands.

    Create a morning routine
    As the Individualist, chances are, you don’t take a liking to tried-and-true formulas of productivity because you’ve always felt a little different. However, having a routine can greatly benefit both your productivity and well-being. Because you can get swept away by your emotions, it’s important to start your day in a clear and grounded headspace. Setting daily intentions can allow you to take control over any negative emotions and change the tone of how you approach your day. Intentions are a powerful visualization technique that helps guide your energy to focus on the areas that matter. This can help you work through creative blockages and empower you with the energy you need to reach your goals. 

    Take breaks to get out of your head
    When it comes to productivity for Fives, their head is in the game—sometimes too much in the game. They can become so engrossed in a task that time passes and they haven’t moved or taken a single sip of water. Or maybe they will make a whole strategy to be productive yet struggle to actually complete things. You may think that productivity is all mental, but a lot of it depends on the integration of our three brains: the head, the heart, and the body. Fives are in the head center, so they naturally resort to analytical thinking. But for Fives to fully reach their potential, they need to “wake up” their body center. If you’re a Five, try taking walks or stretch breaks whenever you feel yourself getting stuck or over-analytical. This will help reshuffle all of those great ideas you’re sitting on. 

    Create a comforting environment
    Sixes benefit from familiarity and routine, meaning their work setup can have a profound impact on their productivity. It’s important for them to feel safe and secure so they can fully relax and let their strengths shine through. If you’re a Six, consider what you need to thrive in a work environment. For example, if you work from home, you may need a comfy chair and the right tools on hand. If you work in an office, perhaps you bring cozy elements to your workspace where you can make it feel more like home (think: hanging photos of friends, family, or pets or decorating your space with candles, plants, and art prints). This way, you’ll be at ease and fully equipped to take on any challenge with courage and confidence. 

    Slow down and work in time blocks
    A Seven’s curiosity and hunger for new opportunities make them work quickly and tenaciously. While this can be a strength, it can also cause them to rush through tasks, become scattered, or focus on future opportunities rather than the tasks at hand. If you’re a Seven who finds it hard to stay present at work or you’re working so fast that you get exhausted or miss little details, take that as an indicator to pause and take some deep breaths. Then, restructure your day to create more flexibility and room to breathe. Try working in time blocks where you dedicate a specific amount of time to a specific task. This will help you streamline your focus, take breaks in between, and then approach another task with fresh energy.

    Put your problem-solving hat on
    Eights love to feel in control of their tasks and move things along efficiently. Decisive and strong-willed, they are also great problem-solvers who aren’t afraid of a challenge. They are quick to find flaws or gaps in a plan and come up with a better solution. When Eights rely on these strengths, they can not only get more done but also inspire others to take action too. Since Eights can act on impulse, approaching their tasks from a problem-solving lens can help them reflect on the bigger picture. If you’re an Eight, practice approaching your work by identifying a problem and brainstorming several workarounds to it. If you can, it might also help to talk things out with your colleagues or someone you trust so you work through your ideas. 

    Choose your daily tasks
    Peacemaking Nines own their power when they take action on their goals. The secret to their productivity is feeling like they are the ones in the driver’s seat. While they can get carried away fantasizing about their dreams, one thing Nines can take ownership of is what they do each day. Because Nines crave harmony and connection with the people around them, sometimes they struggle to separate what’s important to them versus what’s important to others. Nines can regain control by choosing small, daily tasks to accomplish. Of course, there may be obligatory tasks as part of your day-to-day, but choosing to do things like cleaning out your inbox or educating yourself about a new industry trend can be rewarding and motivating—both in the short term and the long term.

    The Career Advice You Need to Hear Based on Your Enneagram More

  • in

    The Career Advice You Need to Hear Based on Your Enneagram

    Our careers make up a large part of our lives. We go to college to get a job, we spend time (and money!) to perfect our resumes to land our dream job in our field, spend 40+ hours a week trying to build our portfolios and make a name for ourselves, devour all the career advice we can—and we still have more than 30 years to go before retirement. So we might as well make it as good as it can be, right?
    Career advice is some of the most sought after here at The Everygirl, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. Not all of us struggle with the same issues, and what some of us have figured out keeps others up at night. But we found the best way to give targeted career advice to a large audience: the enneagram! Our favorite personality test might be the best way to learn how you can boost your career, improve your productivity, and reach all of your goals. 

    Ones are all about improving themselves. They’re called The Perfectionists because they want everything around them to be good and done correctly. They’re responsible and detail-oriented, making them strong candidates for jobs that require precision and accuracy. As an employee, you can count on them to turn in quality work.
    With their perfectionist nature, they are their biggest inner critic. They worry that their work isn’t good unless it’s perfect, which can disrupt deadlines or cause issues when working with a team. Understand what makes you a strong employee and leader and own it. Growing your confidence in the workplace will improve your quality and quantity of work. 

    10 Ways to Be More Confident at Work

    Relationship-oriented, caring, and supportive, twos are all about helping others. They make amazing coworkers and team members because they’re all about being there for every member of the group.
    When you’re creating friendships at work, make sure you set boundaries. Is this person just a work friend? Are you going to talk about work outside of the office, or is your friendship and work relationship separate? Keep these questions (and answers) in mind for a seamless relationship that is beneficial at work and at happy hour. 

    How to Set Friendship Boundaries at Work

    I’m sure there are a lot of threes reading this right now. They love leadership development and being the best employee or manager they can be. They’re always trying to level up their career, and they take a lot of pride in being career-focused. They’re goal-oriented and feel accomplished when they are appreciated and praised at work.
    Focus on building your career by finding your niche—where do you fit in your company? Are you the one who’s known for amazing customer service and personality? Or do you excel at following data leads and executing projects? 

    5 Habits That Make You Stand Out at Work

    The Romantic is idealistic and seeks meaningful experiences, especially in their careers. They long to create and show their artistic expression through their career, which makes them perfect for roles that require thinking outside of the box and discovering unique ideas and solutions for problems.
    Find ways to keep your productivity up to tackle your biggest goals, especially if a side hustle is on that list. Fours struggle with balancing their emotions with their logic mind, so focusing on your overall career goals instead of your goals within your current company will allow you to broaden your horizons. 

    9 Productivity Hacks That Will Help You Impress Your Boss

    If you’ve ever sat in your office and thought about how much more productive and efficient you’d be if you were at home, odds are, you’re a five. Fives are analytical and enjoy having time and space to themselves to work.
    Focus on building up your home office space (whether it’s a room with a view or your bed). This will give you the privacy and energy you crave to accomplish tasks and complete projects on your own time. 

    How to Make Your Daily Work-From-Home Routine Feel Fresh Again

    If you’re in an industry with a lot of competition, you’ll want a six on your team. They are trustworthy and loyal and will work hard to discover the strategies to accomplish team goals.
    Sixes are hyper-aware of what’s going on around them, so they have a sense of perception that others might not understand. However, this can also make them quite pessimistic and anxious, often causing them to focus so intently on their main goals while forgetting the small ones necessary to get them to the end. Look at your goals closely to discover the small steps you need to achieve them. 

    How to Turn Jealousy Into Productivity

    Sevens are amazing at staying in the moment, which allows them to be optimistic and adventurous. They’re the employees who will gladly take up new opportunities to travel to another office or try out that new productivity app that everyone is buzzing about.
    They love thinking ahead to future plans while keeping a fast-paced mindset on achieving and setting new goals consistently. All this can lead to burnout quickly, and the last thing a seven wants is to feel unmotivated and bored at work. To combat this, delegate tasks that bore you as much as possible and work on new, interesting projects as much as you can to get you excited again. 

    Why Your Work Burnout Might Really Be Loneliness

    Competition is a daily source of motivation and drive for an eight. In the workplace, they’re leaders who take charge and ask the necessary questions to propel their careers further. They’re always looking for the next opportunity, whether it’s a raise, a promotion, or a new leadership role.
    Keep your career thriving by asking for more duties at work. This initiative will certainly impress your boss when it comes time to discuss raises and promotions later in the year.

    How to Ask for More Responsibility at Work

    Nines are all about going with the flow, and when it comes to their career, they seek to harmonize and work with others as much as possible. They are easygoing and empathetic, so they understand and see all sides and possibilities of a conflict.
    While twos are typically considered the people-pleasing type, nines can often get caught up in trying to keep the peace in situations that actually call for a little productive conflict. Your relationships won’t suffer if you speak up about something that is bothering you—remember that, and you’ll start to feel more respected and confident in the workplace.

    How to Finally Stop Being a People-Pleaser

    How to Have a Better Relationship According to Your Enneagram

    The Hobby You Should Try Next Based on Your Enneagram More