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      in health and weelbeing

      What Your Resolution Should Be This Year, Based on Your Enneagram

      by

      ‘Tis the season for resolutions! Some of us love a new, clean slate of goals (@eights), while others look at them as an unwinnable chore (ahem, four), but there’s no denying that having something to look forward to this year is a great way to start it. The key to a New Year’s resolution you can keep is keeping your goals attainable. And what better way than making sure it aligns with your personality already? Your enneagram type is a quick snapshot of you, so we’re helping you pick one goal you might not have thought of yet (or it’s already top of mind!) that you can work toward this year.

      Start a meditation practice
      Ones have resolutions lists filled to the brim, but they’re likely forgetting to add self-care at all. Ones could benefit from the calm and clarity of meditation, and developing a whole practice around it is the kind of routine and order type ones find so much joy in.
      READ: Think Meditation Isn’t for You? Here’s What to Try Instead…

      Create a cleaning routine
      After the dumpster fire that was 2020, twos are looking to get organized to take on any new challenges that 2021 throws their way. Create a cleaning routine you can follow daily, weekly, monthly, bi-annually, and annually will give you the flexibility to clean as you go instead of doing big clean-outs every few months (you know, before company comes over). Plus, twos will love putting their new routine in their planner, on the fridge, in a notebook, or anywhere they can access it.
      READ: 7 Areas to Clean and Purge for The New Year

      Develop a new meaningful connection
      Threes have an abundance of lofty goals for their career, health and fitness, mental well-being, and more, but they likely haven’t turned their attention toward relationships just yet. It can feel daunting to think about creating all of these new relationships and making new friends, but adjusting the goal to something tangible, like meeting one new person, is something anyone can accomplish (especially a goal-getting type three!). 
      READ: 10 Career Connections You Need to Make By the Time You’re 30

      Take on a special project
      Fours love to get into their own little world and create; the mundane parts of a task bore them to tears. They love to get started on many new projects, even when they don’t have time for it. Make it a point to take on one really special project this year that you devote a lot of time to. You’ll feel so accomplished in the end, and all of those late nights creating something will be your epitome of joy. 
      READ: 100 Projects Our Readers Are Doing in Isolation

      Start investing
      Ringing in a new year for a five is all about preparing and getting ready for the year—because we all know a five likes to have all the information before they make their way into a project. This year, take your financial goals to the next level by making a point to start investing. Whether you’re already a pro and are brushing up on your financial literacy and trying something new or starting from scratch, this task will likely involve a lot of reading—which the Rory Gilmores of the enneagram will certainly appreciate.
      READ: The App That Will Help You Finally Master Your Personal Finances

      Take up a new hobby
      Sixes are called “The Loyalist” for a reason: they’re committed and stick to the things they love, which can make it hard for them to bust out of a comfort zone or try something new. We’re about to spend a little more time at home in 2021, so now more than ever is the time to learn a new skill and really delve deep into it. In typical six fashion, you won’t stop until you’ve mastered it.
      READ: 21 Hobbies You Can Start at Home—Today
       

      Read more books in different genres than your usual
      Hopping into a whole new world through a book? The exact vibe of a seven. They love anything with adventure or a thrill (even when that “thrill” comes from a solid hate-to-love romance trope). However, make a point to step out of your usual box this year and try some new genres, like nonfiction, contemporary fiction, and sci-fi. 
      READ: I Read Nearly 150 Books in 2020—Here Are 10 I Recommend
       

      Create a morning routine
      Eights are pretty typically night owls, so mornings don’t look as blissful as they’d like. However, they need those free hours in the morning; getting straight into a day’s full of work is draining. Try a few different morning routines—whether they include meditation, journaling, working out, meal prepping, or reading a book in bed—and see which sticks. 
      READ: 12 Morning Routine Hacks for a Calmer Day
       

      Try a weekly social media detox
      The people-pleasing nature of a nine loves to scroll through their feeds and double-tap every single thing their friends and family have been up to, but after a while, this can do the opposite effect of making you feel joyful. Make it a point to try a weekly social media detox. You don’t have to delete every social account you love, just remove the apps one day a week or use the screen time limiter function on your phone. Our editor tried this, and it changed her entire relationship with her phone! 
      READ: 7 Things to Do At Night Besides Stare At Your Phone More

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      in health and weelbeing

      15 Books to Read if You Need a Mental Health Boost

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      Some days we feel scared, some days we feel sad, some days we feel stressed, and some days we just feel blah. Luckily for us (and 2020), the best cure for a bad day is a good book (and maybe a tub of ice cream?). Whether you’re looking for an escape, some tangible advice, or major inspiration, there’s a book out there that can help boost your mood, reduce stress, and make you feel motivated. Forget laughter–these 15 books truly are the best medicine when you need a mental health boost (and some will make you laugh too). Add to cart or your Kindle cue now if you’re going through a tough time, to have ready for rainy days, or to gift to a friend that could use some extra inspiration. 

      Oprah Winfrey
      The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations

      So you need a little pick-me-up? The obvious answer: Oprah. Always. The very best “aha” moments from “Super Soul Sunday” are compiled into this deeply encouraging collection of interviews between Oprah and some of the world’s most inspiring leaders. If you’ve been lacking purpose, motivation, or feel lost, this is the book for you.

      John P. Forsyth PhD and Georg H. Eifert PhD
      Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

      If you feel like anxiety is taking over your life (who doesn’t in 2020?), this quick reference guide offers one simple tool or strategy for every single week of the year, so you can work to less stress and anxiety, one step at a time. There’s also some in-the-moment tips to stay calm when you’re having a particularly stressful workday or in an anxious state. By 2022, you could be totally stress-free!

      Lalah Delia
      Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power

      Looking for inspiration to tap into your inner power and become your best self? Instagram superstar, Lalah Deliah, put her self-help wisdom into this comprehensive book that teaches we have control over situations and our emotions. “Vibrating Higher Daily” helps you make intentional day-to-day choices that lift you out of mindsets, habits, and lifestyles that don’t serve you, and into ones that do.

      Gretchen Rubin
      The Happiness Project

      Gretchen Rubin set out on an entire year dedicated to happiness. The result? One of the most helpful and life-changing works of positive psychology that teaches us how to actually be happy. I love “The Happiness Project” because it combines personal anecdotes, scientific research, and wisdom from the past to help us not only achieve happiness, but re-examine what we all want out of life.

      Gabrielle Bernstein
      Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams

      Filled with tangible tools like the “Choose Again Method” for reframing negative and boosting your mood, “Super Attractor” is a more spiritual approach to a mental health pick-me-up, with essential tips to live in alignment with the universe to create the life that you want.

      Elaine Welteroth
      More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

      If you love memoirs, “More Than Enough” is the memoir that will simultaneously entertain you and boost your confidence, happiness, and purpose. Welteroth unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey, while offering advice to readers who need a reminder that they’re f*cking awesome.

      Good Vibes, Good Life

      You may have heard of Vex King from his killer Instagram posts that regularly go viral from their profound advice and relatable inspiration. His book is just as good as his Instagram, only with a little more detail. “Good Vibes, Good Life” draws from his personal experience and intuitive wisdom to help you practice self-care, cultivate positive habits, manifest your goals using tried-and-true techniques, overcome fear, and find a higher purpose to be a shining light for others. It’s like Oprah’s book club for millennials.

      Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
      The Book of Joy

      Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama have faced major hardships, yet continue to radiate love, compassion, and even humor despite what they’ve been through. The two inspirational icons dive into the topic of joy: how do you find it in the face of suffering, and when you do find it, how do you keep it? Read if you’re looking for some serious inspiration or need a little extra joy during a very hard time.

      Michael A. Singer
      The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

      The perfect combination of psychology and spirituality, “The Untethered Soul” delves into what we can do to free ourselves from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit our consciousness and hold us back. By the end of the book, you’ll not only understand yourself better than you ever have, but you’ll feel in control of your emotions (yes, even stress, anxiety, and worry).

      Carissa Potter
      It’s OK To Feel Things Deeply

      If self-help books aren’t really your style and you need some real-time support, this cheeky (but helpful!) book is the perfect option. With practical tips, genuine empathy, helpful honesty, adorable illustrations, and relatable humor, it’s full of support when you need a little extra love. It also makes a great gift for a friend going through a tough time.

      Elizabeth Gilbert
      Eat, Pray, Love

      Even if you haven’t read this modern classic yet, you’ve probably seen the blockbuster hit with Julia Roberts that made you want to move to Bali and eat pasta (simultaneously). This memoir is always a go-to read for me when I’m feeling stuck or complacent. Especially in 2020 when we’re literally stuck, it not only offers an escape, but there’s something about a realistic happy ending that makes me feel hopeful, even when I’m feeling lost.

      Marianne Williamson
      A Return to Love

      Maybe it sounds cheesy, but the key to happiness, stress reduction, and a constant good mood? Williamson makes the case that the answer is love. She shows us how love is a potent force, the key to inner peace, and how, by practicing love for other people, we can make our own lives more fulfilling. This is one of those books that changes you, so get ready for a life-altering read.

      Jenny Lawson
      You Are Here: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds

      A combination of inspiration, therapy, coloring, humor, and advice, this book is filled with intricate illustrations and life advice on how to cope. The writing is both humorous and incredibly honest, so “You Are Here” will be a tool to help you deal with tough life situations in a confident, creative, and happier way. Read if art is therapeutic to you.

      Shonda Rhimes
      Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

      Yes, THAT Shonda Rhimes: the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal,” and basically all of our other favorite shows. In this inspiring book, Rhimes opens up about the year she decided to say “yes” to everything. Spoiler alert: the results are life-changing. Read if work is bringing you down or you’re not sure what you’re meant to do with your life.

      What’s your go-to book to read when you need a pick-me-up? More

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      in beauty and fashion

      How My Hair Shaped My Identity

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      One of my favorite things about my look is my pixie cut. If you asked me to describe it, I would say: short, edgy, and professional. As a disabled woman, it’s effortless and time-effective. I have the advantage of waking up and not having to brush my hair if my bedhead isn’t too visible. Some days I add a little style, but I love having a hairstyle where it’s easy to manage. My ultimate hair goal, however, is to shave my head and have a buzzcut. Jazzmyne Jay, a BuzzFeed content creator, is my inspiration; she’s given me the courage to experiment with fashion. I’ve wanted to do it for a while; I’ve just been waiting for the right time.
      Honestly, I’ve been waiting for an accepting work environment. I want to work in an environment where diversity is valued, where there is an open-mindedness to individuals who have disabilities and endure mental illness, and where there are strong core values and beliefs; where these things are instilled in the company. In the past few years, I’ve been trying to live intentionally. I’ve always been authentic in who I am, but I’ve tried to be more intentional these last few years with everything that I’ve been through. It’s hard to go into spaces where you are accepted, however, you feel that you still have to hold back a part of your identity, or when you have to hide your entire identity because you are not sure of the reaction, especially in this political climate where you’re often discriminated against for being LGBTQ+. 

      In the past few years, I’ve been trying to live intentionally. I’ve always been authentic in who I am, but I’ve tried to be more intentional these last few years with everything that I’ve been through.

      Chopping off all your hair is a way for you to start afresh and emerge a new person. I feel rejuvenated and on lighter feet after every cut. My hair wasn’t weighing me down anymore. Look at it this way: it’s like when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Each haircut is as if I’m escaping from all of the anxiety and the depression that has happened since the last haircut to start a new season.
      Society pushes many stereotypes about the short-haired woman: she’s damaged, she’s aggressive, she’s manly, she must be a lesbian. As a society, we attach so many parts of a person’s identity to their hair: their sexuality, history, gender, and even personality, and when women have short hair, people tend to think of that as almost being political. She’s making a statement. Long hair is depicted as feminine and beautiful, whereas short hair is not. 

      Look at it this way: it’s like when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. Each haircut is as if I’m escaping from all of the anxiety and the depression that has happened since the last haircut to start a new season.

      As an individual with a disability (I have cerebral palsy and hemiplegia), I do not have the use of my right arm. Because of this, I have difficulty styling my hair, and what began as a move for more independence became a move for self-expression. I had long hair up until college, when I started getting pixie cuts. In high school, I’d had to ask my family to help me style my hair (ponytails, braids, etc.). On my own, I could get at best pin the bangs out of my face. Disabled women’s hair is just seen as yet another inconvenience in terms of independence, and at times we aren’t even given a choice around our hair length and style.
      When I attempted to pull my hair into a ponytail by myself, I ultimately failed. I had to deal with loose long hair in all weather and environments. I loved my long hair, and it was beautiful, but it was a source of inconvenience and discomfort. I’m never going to fit into a box. I’m never going to fit under a label; I’m never going to be anything anybody wants me to be, I’m always evolving. I’m all about breaking boundaries. Breaking barriers, breaking labels, and allowing myself to be free.
      And that’s what my short hair is to me. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      Feeling Anxious and Discouraged by the Election Results? Read This

      by

      As polls closed across the country this week and returns began to roll in, an entire country was decidedly on edge, prepped for the possibility of blue and red mirages, but still feeling all manner of emotions as states went blue and red and back and forth as more returns came in. We still don’t definitively know who will win the presidential race and people are sad, upset, terrified, and so much more. There’s discouragement and so much uncertainty. If you’re feeling that way, here’s what the experts say you should do. 

      1. Acknowledge your emotions
      News flash: it’s OK to not feel OK, especially when we’re waiting on potentially earth-shattering news, barely slept last night, and don’t know what the future of our country will look like. The first step in dealing with how you feel about the election is acknowledging those feelings. “Find a healthy way to express your emotions,” suggested Melissa Lapides, MA, LMFT, a psychotherapist and creator of SafeSpace Trauma Certification. “Remember that you’re in charge of your emotions. Take care of yourself, hold yourself tight, and allow yourself to feel whatever is there.”
      Acknowledge your emotions by checking in with how you feel, and letting yourself feel. Lapides also recommended expressing those emotions by talking it out or letting yourself cry if you’re sad, and exercising or screaming into a pillow if you’re feeling angry. It’s absolutely OK to be discouraged by the results, even if your candidate ultimately wins. Bottom line: no matter what you’re feeling, it’s OK, so acknowledge and express your emotions.

      Source: @outdoorvoices

      2. Listen to your body
      After you check in with your emotions, check in with your body. The body holds a lot of stress, so taking care of the body can also help ease stress. “Many people are feeling stress and anxiety levels rise during the election, so it’s really important to prioritize self-care right now,” said Risa Williams, licensed therapist and author. “Your body might send you signals that it has had too much stress and you might start to feel exhausted both emotionally and physically, so it’s essential to listen to your body and to take breaks when you need to, to rest.” 
      Yes, that means turning off the news or deleting social media apps if you need to. Take multiple breaks throughout the day (both election-coverage breaks and work breaks), to take a walk outside, meditate, exercise, or do something enjoyable like cooking a comfort meal or drawing and painting. Lapides also suggested prioritizing additional body-care, even if you don’t feel like it. She recommended eating well, taking a bath, trying some self-massage, and getting in nature. 

      Source: @onairplanemode__

      3. Surround yourself with positivity
      Yes, even during such a stressful day and a scary time, we can still choose positivity. Not necessarily positivity in election outcomes, but positivity in life. “Gratitude is always the best place to start when countering any anxiety,” said Deedee Cummings, M.Ed, LPCC, JD, therapist and author. “Now is not the time to surround yourself with negativity as it will only make you feel worse. Focusing on positivity (and there is always positivity to be found) will help remind you there is still good.” Call up people who make you laugh, play with your pet who is always happy, or read a book with a happy ending. Focusing on the positive is not always easy during tough times, but coming from a place of gratitude can help ease stress in any situation. Take time to make a list of all the things you’re grateful for today, whether it’s big or small.

      4. Remind yourself of the constant factors
      No matter what happens, the outcome of the election does mean a lot of big changes. If the potential changes are feeling overwhelming, try focusing on the factors of your life that will stay the same tomorrow, next month, and next year. Katie Lear, LCMHC, RPT, RDT suggested, “It can also be helpful to remind yourself of the day-to-day parts of your own life that will remain constant no matter who wins; family, hobbies, and career goals don’t disappear overnight.”
      While we always encourage educating ourselves about the major changes this election could mean for our country, it’s OK to focus on what’s remaining the same in your own life, if just for today. Make a list of everything about your life that won’t change no matter who is in office (your dog will still play with you, your sister will still make you laugh, and you’ll still love finding new banana bread recipes), in order to heal overwhelm. 

      Source: @caitlynwarakomski

      5. Connect with the present moment
      Elections are always stressful, but this one feels particularly overwhelming. If you find yourself anxious about what the potential results could mean for the future, try connecting with the present moment. “Find small moments of peace where you can connect with the present moment,” Williams suggested. “Taking deliberate deep breaths whenever you feel stress rise is like a mini-meditation for your brain and body. It’s one small thing you can do to help regulate your stress during this time.” Try breathwork, or simply putting a hand on your stomach to remind yourself to breath deeply as you feel anxiety increase. You can also try mindfulness to reconnect yourself to the present moment. Notice the temperature of the room, what the candle that you’re lighting smells like, or how each sip of coffee tastes. 

      6. Make a plan to contribute to causes you care about
      If the election doesn’t go the way that we hoped, it doesn’t mean you stop fighting for causes you care about and doing what you can to build the country and world you want. If you’re feeling out of control, turn off the news and make a tangible plan of how you’re going to make a difference, whether it’s yearly or monthly donations, researching organizations to volunteer on a regular basis, or even how you can help out the people you know. “The best way any of us can keep up our sense of empowerment is by continuing to contribute to causes that matter to us, regardless of election results,” Lear recommended. “Volunteer, donate, lend a supportive ear to a friend—these things help other people and promote positive change, while also safeguarding our own mental health. Don’t just save community engagement for election years; make it part of your regular self-care.”
      Cummings agreed that taking action should be a part of your self-care routine and can improve your mental health. “Remember that the world keeps spinning and you are a crucial piece of the puzzle we call life,” she said. “We need you and we need each other. Focus on you and all the things you can do to create a ripple of kindness. This will help rebalance you.”

      Source: rawpixel

      We get it: you’re feeling a lot of emotions RN. Some of those emotions might be hopelessness, discouragement, and sadness. While it’s important to acknowledge and express those emotions (see point #1), you can turn that hopelessness into purpose—once you’re ready. If you’re not yet ready to channel any emotions you may be experiencing, you might want to consider connecting with a therapist, who can help you work through what you’re feeling. “No matter what happens in this election, we can all work for what we believe in,” said Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist and author. Tessina suggested taking those discouraged feelings and finding some hope where you can by working for a cause you believe in.
      Maybe the election results will be a wake-up call to you to put in more effort into the causes you care about, or maybe it will be a motivation to work harder to achieve a better world. Turn your pain into purpose by enacting the change you wish you saw in the election in your community. Lear agreed, “When I speak to young clients—many of whom are feeling incredibly hopeless and disempowered right now—I remind them about how long the arc of justice is and how much can still change in their lifetimes.” 
      A good place to start is to find a cause you care about. Maybe it has to do with elections and voting, working to boost turnout and access in your state. But maybe it’s not election-related at all. If you’re passionate about addressing food insecurity, homelessness, criminal justice reform, animal rights, reproductive rights, healthcare, or just about anything else, chances are good that there’s some sort of organization or movement with which you can get involved. If there’s not an organization with a physical presence in your city, look further out and see what might be able to be done from afar.
      If you’re passionate about civic engagement in your city, start by learning about how government works in your city. Attend city council meetings and other open community meetings, chat with your representatives, and get involved. 
      Take a beat, take care of yourself, and rest—and then get to work.

      Please consult a doctor before beginning any treatments. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      How to Navigate Thanksgiving in a Pandemic

      by

      Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and if you thought that we’d still be where we are (staying home, washing our hands, wearing masks, social distancing) all of these months after March, well, then I guess you’re vindicated. Thanksgiving is going to look a lot different this year for millions of people across the country. Some will travel early with enough time for quarantining, isolating, or a COVID-19 test (or some combination of that), others will forego their usual bustling holiday table for something more low-key, and still others are scrapping plans entirely, planning on a Thanksgiving dinner for just one or two. It’s hard, this navigating life events, milestones, and holidays during a global pandemic, and while we certainly all hope that next year is an altogether different kind of situation, you don’t just have to ignore the holidays entirely (unless, of course, you want to—this year, all bets are off). The precautions you ultimately decide to take will be dependent on many different factors, but there are some things that you should keep top of mind so that you can (hopefully) celebrate safely this year.

      Source: Adrian Cotiga | Stocksy

      If you’re traveling
      Airports and interstates are notoriously busy during the week of Thanksgiving. But this year isn’t most years and many more people are likely staying closer to home than they would otherwise. The CDC advises that you stay close to home rather than travel because any travel can increase the risk that you’ll be exposed to or come down with COVID-19. If you’re still planning on traveling, the precautions you need to take vary based on how you’re traveling.
      If you’re planning on a plane, train, or any other kind of group transportation, make sure you have masks with you (and wear them while traveling). According to Healthline, mask-wearing is required by all major airline carriers. Some airlines still have social distancing measures in place, while others are again approving filling flights to capacity, so if you feel strongly about trying your best to continue social distancing on the plane, you may need to do a little research. Delta, Southwest, JetBlue, Alaska Airlines, and Hawaiian Airlines are still blocking some seats, according to reporting from the Washington Post, but they’re not all doing so for the same length of time, so if you’re flying closer to the end of the year, your airline options may change.
      Driving in your own car gives you more control over the precautions taken, but don’t forget to think through how you’re going to handle staying safe if or when you need to stop—for gas, for food, for the night, or to use the bathroom.
      No matter how you’re traveling, make sure you pack plenty of wipes and sanitizer, wash your hands frequently, wear a mask, and stay conscious of if or how often you’re touching your face.

      Source: Cameron Whitman | Stocksy

      If you’re staying closer to home
      Staying home doesn’t mean that you don’t have any difficult decisions to make. If your Thanksgiving normally looks like tons of family and friends gathered in one place (indoors), it may need to look a little different this year.
      Michael Osterholm from the Center for Infectious Diseases Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota told STAT News that no one should gather with anyone who lives outside of their household this year because the risk is just too great. The CDC, however, lists a few other suggestions for people who are concerned by the idea of essentially canceling Thanksgiving altogether:

      Make traditional recipes for people who can’t gather with you and do a no-contact drop-off.
      Take your Thanksgiving virtual.
      Skip Black Friday shopping and shop from the comfort of home (or in person later on).
      Skip in-person sporting events, parades, and more and watch from home or participate virtually.

      If skipping a dinner just isn’t something you’re willing to do this year, taking as many precautions as possible can help keep the risk lower. One basic thing you can do is to just continue to make sure you’re following expert guidance to wear a mask, wash your hands, don’t touch your face, stay apart, and get together outside, Stephen Morse, an epidemiologist at Columbia University, told The Atlantic. The CDC’s guidance for hosting or attending a gathering can also help you lower some of your risk. Restricting attendance to your “pandemic pod” (as long as everyone is doing their part) might feel safer to you this year. Keeping an eye on what conditions are like where you are and using that to help decide if you’re going to pare back this year (or even make the transition to FaceTime) may also be a good idea.
      If you live somewhere that outdoor celebrations are possible, consider moving dinner outside this year, a 2020 move if we’ve ever seen one. Experts say that being outdoors is safer than being indoors, so that’s one more way you can try to mitigate some of the risk.

      Source: Felicia Lasala for The Everygirl

      If you’re celebrating solo (or with very few others)
      Celebrating solo might not be your usual Thanksgiving plan, but it very well could be this year, particularly if you live far from family. It might not be the most cheerful Thanksgiving you’ll ever have (or maybe it will—no family feuds to combat or politics to talk over dinner), but it doesn’t have to be the worst either. Consider scrapping your traditional menu and making whatever you think sounds good. Conversely, maybe this year, of all years, is when you feel especially attached to your family’s traditional menu—call your relatives and gather some recipes so that you’ll feel at least some things are still the same. Try upping your holiday decor game with new Thanksgiving duds or just scrap that and put up the decor for a holiday you love. Maybe that means a Christmas tree, maybe that means leaving Halloween decor up far longer than usual, or maybe it’s something else entirely. You’re the one there, so you’re the one who gets to make those rules.
      If you’re celebrating alone or with just a few additional people and you don’t want to put in the work for a full dinner, consider ordering a restaurant-quality Thanksgiving dinner or opting for your favorite local fare. There’s no rule that you have to eat a certain meal on Thanksgiving, so do what feels best to you and what will make your holiday special. Prop up a computer or phone for holiday FaceTiming or embrace the minimal interactions and plan a self-care day all your own.
      The best part of celebrating alone is that it truly gets to be whatever you want it to, so don’t overthink things too much. Plan a day that you’ll enjoy and consider going back to your usual traditions (whatever they may be) next year or the year after.

      Whether you’re staying at home or traveling across the country, if you’re getting together with family members or friends, don’t be afraid to ask them what sorts of precautions they’re taking in their everyday life (or, at least, within a few weeks of Thanksgiving), especially if you or someone else there is at greater risk. After all, when it comes to an infectious virus, what you do doesn’t just affect you, it also affects anyone with whom you’re spending time. If you’re planning to spend time with people who are higher risk or older in age, consider taking even more precautions or canceling the event entirely. Determine if the precautions your fellow family members and friends are taking are things you’re comfortable with or not, and don’t be afraid to tell them what you need so that you do feel comfortable. They may or may not agree to those kinds of guidelines, but at least then you’ll be able to feel more confident in your decision to either gather or skip it this year. Hopefully next year, the COVID situation will be different.
      There are going to be some really hard choices to make this year. No one wants to have to completely overhaul times often spent with family and friends, particularly if it means that you might end up spending that time alone (no matter how festive that time might be). Ultimately, the best you can do is do your research, have honest conversations with friends and family about what you think is best and what you’re comfortable with, and try to make the choice that feels best and safe for you and those around you. More