Career & Finance

If you haven’t played hooky, have you truly lived? In high school, skipping school for a beach day with friends was all about the thrill of it. We needed a break from school lunches and mundane schedules, and even though it was definitely against the rules, it wasn’t that serious. As adults, the stakes are higher. Playing hooky at work isn’t something employees do for fun, but rather to get the break they so desperately need. With remote work environments, it’s almost too easy to do, particularly on Fridays, when no one is paying attention to whether or not you’re working or just moving your mouse. These unofficial personal days have become so common that they have been dubbed “Sneaky Fridays.”

I feel the need to say that I don’t condone this (my manager is reading this), but I get it. More than ever, employees are busting their asses to keep their jobs. They are working hard to prove that they are worthy of a raise even though budgets are tight. Since teams are lean and many are working hybrid roles (read: doing two to three jobs at once), they are working around the clock to meet deadlines. They are stressed, yet they don’t feel like they can ask for a day off. The only solution? Taking the day off and telling no one.

Obviously, this has its consequences and isn’t the healthiest way to manage stress. But is it the only way to get a break? Is it OK if all your work is done? What does this mean for trust in the workplace? Let’s talk about it.

“Slacking off” on Friday isn’t new

Between casual Fridays, summer Fridays, no-meeting Fridays, and Friday happy hours, enjoying a more laid-back work environment at the end of the week isn’t new. In an office setting especially, you take longer lunches, chat longer at the water cooler, and usually clock out early as a team. Why would you twiddle your thumbs at your desk just to abide by a time clock if your work is done? As a whole, Fridays like these provide a much-needed break, help with team bonding, and keep morale high.

Remote workers are held to completely different productivity standards. There is no excuse for clocking out early—there is no pizza party. But the same question stands: Why would you sit at your desk if your work is done? Where is your break? It’s a double standard that many remote workers don’t want to put up with anymore. So, they have been taking it into their own hands with Sneaky Fridays. Now, there is a difference between your boss saying, “Let’s get out of here early today,” and silently checking out on your own. But being present on a Friday, especially on a Friday afternoon, when office employees are busy letting their hair down, isn’t necessarily fair.

Remote workers are getting smarter about how they use their time

Less-than-productive Fridays aside, traditional 9-5 schedules have been getting pushback for quite some time. They don’t take into account when and how individuals work best, and they leave little to no time for personal responsibilities and appointments. If you’ve spent any amount of time on TikTok, you’ll have seen at least a dozen “My 5-9 before my 9-5” (or the opposite) videos. In a small window of time, they cram in workouts, showers, appointments, reading, laundry, self-care, time with friends, meal-prepping, and more. The only way to keep up, take care of yourself, and nurture your relationships is if you get up before the sun does or stay up late. It’s no wonder why everyone is exhausted by Friday.

With this in mind, remote workers are getting smarter with their time. They are working longer hours Monday through Thursday, and they are using Fridays as the personal day they feel they deserve. According to Elite Recruiter, platforms like Open Table and Zocdoc have seen a spike in Friday activity. The 9-5 grind is tough, and in stressful, busy work environments, employees are doing what they can to manage it all and create time for self-care.

Managing burnout is being prioritized over impressing management

Everyone I know who has gotten laid off in the last few years has been valued in their workplace and deserving of their role. They’ve gone above and beyond, sacrificed their personal life and relationships to prove themselves, and done it all knowing they were being overworked and underpaid. If the most hard-working people we know still can’t keep their jobs, what are we doing busting our asses and making ourselves miserable? Elite recruiter shares that self-care is being prioritized as a result.

A survey done by Visier revealed that 89 percent of employees have experienced burnout, but that 53 percent of women aren’t comfortable talking about it with their managers over fears they’ll seem incapable of doing their job. Employees don’t feel like their jobs are safe, yet they don’t have it in them to hustle harder. On top of all that, they don’t talk about it, which only leads to resentment and communication issues in the workplace. Sneaky Fridays are helping employees bridge the gap between keeping their jobs and not losing their minds.

The “trust gap” is widening as a result

Employers are catching on—fast. With return-to-office mandates, Fridays are becoming mandatory in some workplaces (L’Oreal, we are shocked) to promote “collaboration.” And look, I’m not saying that reasoning isn’t justified (as a remote worker, I’d love more in-person collaboration!), but I think the bigger piece of it has to do with making sure employees are actually working.

This sucks for those who get their work done with no issues at home and those who need the flexibility for a variety of reasons (like childcare, frequent medical appointments, long commutes, or burnout). What’s worse than not being trusted when you’re doing nothing wrong? I can hear everyone saying, “It only takes one person to ruin it for the rest of us,” but at the same time, I get it. Taking an unofficial personal day, even if you feel it’s justified, isn’t exactly allowed, and it will backfire.

This debate is polarizing for managers and employees alike. Multiple commenters on Elite Recruiter’s video are saying, “Let people live!!” while others explain that this has never been possible for them. This varies by industry, but overall, there is a disconnect between who is working and who isn’t on Fridays. So, if you think your return-to-office mandate is coming out of nowhere, think again. Between productivity being down and people quietly sneaking away on Fridays, it’s no wonder we are seeing more people commuting to their cubicles.

So, what should you do?

I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but talking to people about how you are feeling is one of the best ways to get a handle on your work-induced stress. In my experience, we don’t give our managers enough credit; don’t be so quick to assume that admitting your workload is overwhelming will make you look bad. Most often, they will be glad you came to them. The better you feel about your work, the better work you’ll do. In addition to this, it helps to talk to coworkers and friends about how they find work-life balance. Do they use their lunch break to go for a long walk around their neighborhood? Do they have a wind-down ritual after work?

If you feel like your existing role might never feel manageable, why not look around for other jobs? Update your resume and search for jobs with companies that directly promote work-life balance. Maybe they offer wellness perks, or they pay for your health care. All of these things add up to making your work life more doable, so by the time Friday rolls around, you don’t feel the need to sneak away.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor
As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely. More

Sure, it’s good to think before you act, but weighing all your options can sometimes lead to paralyzing indecision. It’s fine if hemming and hawing over what shoes to wear makes you five minutes late to a party, but when your decision-making system affects your ability to move forward in your career, we’ve got a problem. Apparently, the 10-10-10 rule is proving to be everyone’s new solution to this. Endorsed by Oprah and taught at Harvard, the 10-10-10 rule might be your new secret weapon for leveling up in the workplace.

Coined by Career Expert and Bestselling Author Suzy Welch, the 10-10-10 rule is a decision-making system. It quickly enables you to make grounded, rational decisions by asking yourself three profound questions. I tapped Welch herself for insight into this “life-transforming” system, as she calls it, so we can all use it to increase our job performance and scale the career ladder. Ahead, what the rule is, why it works, and how to apply it starting right now.

In this article

MEET THE EXPERT
Suzy Welch
Suzy Welch is a Career and Future of Work Expert, New York Times Bestselling Author, a Professor of Management Practice at NYU’s Stern School of Business, and the Director of the NYU | Stern Initiative on Purpose and Flourishing. She also serves as a Senior Advisor for the advisory firm the Brunswick Group, is a corporate director, and regular contributor on The Today Show. Her op-eds about GenZ and the real culture of work today appear regularly in the Wall Street Journal. Her acclaimed class, “Becoming You: Crafting the Authentic Life You Want and Need” is the source of her podcast by the same name, and an upcoming book to be published by HarperCollins.

What is the 10-10-10 rule?

With the 10-10-10 rule, you weigh all your choices and how you’ll feel about them in 10 minutes, 10 months, and 10 years. Welch explained that this system can act as a sounding board at work by guiding your choices with your immediate and future career goals in mind. “Imagine you’re considering whether to take on a challenging project,” she said. “With the 10-10-10, you’d ask: Will this push me out of my comfort zone in the next 10 minutes? Perhaps, but in 10 months, it might enhance my expertise or reputation. In 10 years, this project could prove to be the experience that built my credibility.” These three questions allow us to see beyond the present moment and encourage us to prioritize our future selves.

How does the 10-10-10 rule work?

According to Welch, weighing your options eradicates rash decision-making since it gives you the “data” you need to assess the immediate, mid-term, and long-term impacts. It enables you to think logically rather than emotionally and prevents you from making choices out of fear or avoidance. For example, instead of saying “yes” to more work when you’re already drowning because you’re scared of being laid off, the 10-10-10 would help you see that saying “no” would let you focus on your current tasks and carry them out at your best instead.

What’s more, Welch explained that using the 10-10-10 rule allows you to balance short-term demands with long-term vision. This, in turn, not only cultivates resilience and adaptability but also a reputation for having good judgment and being proactive—all of which are points in your favor at work. “Over time, a thoughtful approach to decision-making can position you for leadership roles, showing that you’re not just reactive but capable of personal and professional strategic thinking,” Welch said.

“A thoughtful approach to decision-making can position you for leadership roles, showing that you’re not just reactive but capable of personal and professional strategic thinking.”

How to use the 10-10-10 rule in the workplace

We might not realize it, but we have to make decisions every day at work. And these decisions play a role in our overall performance, regardless of how big or small they are. Whenever you have a choice to make, ask yourself each question in the 10-10-10 rule to make the decision that’s best for the future of your career.

Question 1: How will I feel about this in 10 minutes?

When faced with a decision, start by considering possible courses of action and ask yourself how you’ll feel about each one in 10 minutes. For example, if you say yes to taking on a last-minute assignment, you might feel anxious or forced out of your comfort zone. Both of these aren’t ideal, but if it shows your manager that you can work under pressure, it could be worth it. Would hiring an unqualified friend for a project make you look bad? Or will it excite you since you’ll have to lead them by example, ultimately improving your leadership skills? These are just a few examples, and the scenarios you’re presented with will be dependent on the decision you have to make. The most important thing is that you’re weighing how your choices will affect you immediately and the ways they can work for or against you.

That said, while shying away from immediately uncomfortable scenarios can be tempting, try your best to avoid doing so; this will only inhibit you from making the best short-, mid-, and long-term decisions for your career. Getting acquainted with each outcome—even the uncomfortable ones—will allow you to fully carry out the 10-10-10 rule correctly.

Question 2: How will I feel about this in 10 months?

After examining how you’ll feel about all your possible choices in 10 minutes, you can then determine how you’ll feel about each in 10 months. Career growth is the goal, so like the first question, this is all about weighing how a decision can professionally work for or against you in 10 months.

“Every choice you make can either help you excel in your career or keep it stagnant.”

For example, taking on an assignment might overwhelm you immediately, but it might boost your performance review when you’re up for promotion within the next 10 months. Likewise, putting a team together without your work BFF who isn’t suited for the role might cause some friction now; however, you might be happy about it in 10 months because it could’ve backfired for both of you. Every choice you make can either help you excel in your career or keep it stagnant, even in under a year.

Question 3: How will I feel about this in 10 years?

Lastly, how will you feel about a decision in 10 years? This means considering all the long-term ways a decision can work in your favor or backfire. Saying “yes” to an overwhelming task and succeeding would boost your resume. And this, in turn, will make you more equipped to handle your dream job within the next decade. Alternatively, saying “yes” and failing might leave a permanent stain on your resume and work against you when applying for a top position down the line. Similarly, being able to separate personal relationships from work relationships would show that you’re capable of handling a managerial position in the future.

You’ll be tasked with a myriad of decisions throughout your career—it’s hard to know exactly how each one will play out, especially so far in the future. But learning how to zoom out and look at the long-term benefits or consequences of your decisions will help you make the choice that’s right for you and your goals.

How to make decisions even in uncertainty

While it’s impossible to know what the future holds, answering these three questions will allow you to make the most logical and sound decision for your career. Will you always be 100 percent comfortable with your choices? No, you won’t—but that’s the beauty of this system. 10-10-10 allows you to make choices that are right for you even in the face of uncertainty; it lets you move forward with the choice that you think will be best for you, even if it pushes you.

At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to move forward, whether the outcome is good or bad. However, if you’re taking the time to make decisions grounded in reason and aligned with your aspirations in the next 10 minutes, 10 months, and even 10 years, you’ll be unstoppable in the workplace.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Arianna Reardon, Contributing Writer
Arianna is a Rhode Island native, professional blogger, and freelance writer. She’s passionate about helping women develop healthy relationships with money, become financially independent, and invest in themselves for the future. Arianna is a firm believer in going after what you want, taking time to stop and smell the roses, and the importance of a good cocktail. More

The first time I watched 13 Going on 30, I knew I wanted to be just like Jenna Rink—you know, “big-time magazine editor!” I fantasized about going to my NYC office, putting in a couple of really good years, and eventually finding my way to the top. I thought that’s all it took—showing up and working hard, year after year, to find myself in a corner office. It wasn’t until I got my first big girl job that I realized landing a leadership position has a lot more to do with your skills than your seniority.

According to Grace McCarrick, a Work Skills Consultant, Creator, and Speaker, there is one soft skill that matters the most: Discernment. She claims that it’s the one skill that can make or break your move from middle management to senior leadership—but that most people can’t hack it. The TikTok video she posted about this was so spot on, it went viral—reaching 2.8 million views and counting. It even made its way to the FYP of senior leadership here at The Everygirl, and they couldn’t agree more with what McCarrick had to say about the crucial soft skill. So, what is discernment, and why do we need it to become successful? Here’s the lowdown:

In this article

What is discernment?

Having discernment, by definition, is the ability to make a smart judgment about something. More specifically, it describes a wise way of judging between things or having a particularly perceptive way of seeing things. As a senior manager, this is crucial, but in order to have it, you usually need a major mindset shift and a lot of practice. McCarrick explains this shift by saying that when you’re early in your career, “you’re trying to find every mistake and everything that could go wrong and see how you can improve it.” But once you become a senior leader, this switches. Your job is to only point out “things you can actively make a difference in and that have value to the people sitting in the room.” Basically, discernment requires you to be more thoughtful and aware so you can see beyond the surface.

Without discernment, you’ll likely come off as a complainer, airing out all the problems that need fixing instead of offering solutions to those around you. McCarrick says this can make you look “incredibly juvenile,” in front of other senior leaders. It’s a make-or-break skill that requires active listening and self-awareness, but unfortunately, it’s not a skill that’s trained. You have to work on it daily, even after you reach the top.

5 ways to improve your discernment

Say less

The most effective way to work on your discernment is to zip it. The more time you spend talking, the less time you spend listening. For a lot of people, this is easier said than done. When you’re so used to bringing up every problem, not saying anything can make you feel like you’re not contributing, but it actually allows you to see the bigger picture.

“Not saying anything can make you feel like you’re not contributing, but it actually allows you to see the bigger picture.”

The next time you’re meeting with your team and you feel the urge to speak, take a step back and consider these three questions, as recommended by one commenter on McCarrick’s video: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said now? If the answer is yes, let other people speak first because what they have to say might change your mind.

Observe people whose energy you appreciate

Whether you’re sitting in a board room or on a remote call, take a moment to consider who you admire and why. How do they speak? What do they bring up? Odds are, you’re not looking to the person who is constantly complaining about every little thing. Instead, you might notice how well someone is listening, and what they contribute to the conversation once they do speak. Maybe there is an industry leader you follow online whose energy you admire. As you practice your own discernment, it helps to observe those who have this skill nailed down.

Take yourself out of the equation

As a senior leader, your job is to observe what matters to the people around you (including employees and stakeholders). To do this, McCarrick says you have to “stop applying your version of the world on top of [your] work environments.” Your version (or perspective) is only a small part of the equation, and other people have their own. You have to allow space for other people’s experiences in order to come up with a solution that benefits the team as a whole. If you are too distracted by your individual perspective, you’ll miss out on key issues.

“You have to allow space for other people’s experiences in order to come up with a solution that benefits the team as a whole.”

Assess your priorities

There are a lot of problems to fix in the workplace—your job is to determine which ones are worth prioritizing. What is minuscule versus what will move the needle? Oftentimes, small issues are part of a larger problem. Take a look at your workweek and see where you’re spending the most time. Are you constantly head down, crunching numbers, and fixing holes in the system? If so, take a step back (and take a deep breath, while you’re at it too) and reprioritize so your focus is set on the bigger picture.

Keep practicing

“Soft skills are a muscle,” according to McCarrick. You won’t wake up one day and have discernment; it requires constant practice to become good at it. So continue to observe the people you admire, set a goal to say 10 percent less in the next meeting and 20 percent after that, and keep working at it. Eventually, the problems and mistakes you were used to speaking about before will seem like small potatoes compared to the larger, overarching issues you’ll be capable of tackling next.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Hailey Bouche, Associate Editor
As an Associate Editor for The Everygirl, Hailey Bouche oversees, writes, and edits content across various categories on the site. From the pitching stage through publishing, she works alongside the team to ensure that the content that our readers see every day is inspiring, relatable, and timely. More

Of all the advice on social media, one sentiment has stuck with me: Being successful is about increasing your opportunity for luck. Whether you’re on the job hunt (good luck, babe), climbing the career ladder, or starting a business, moving forward isn’t just about talent and hard work—serendipity and luck play a major role in everyone’s success story. Sometimes, increasing your visibility means sending a hundred job applications to increase the chance you hear back from one. But more often, it means putting yourself in front of the right people and hoping, in the future, they’ll think of you. But here’s the catch: The most effective way to do this is (cue Jaws theme) networking.
Networking has gotten a bad rap. Something about it feels seedy and self-interested. I’ve definitely left interactions at networking events feeling like I walked into a job interview I wasn’t prepared for. Nightmare scenario. And I’m a people person. Against all odds, I thrive at house parties where I barely know anyone, and I always make friends when traveling solo. But the second you throw the word “networking” in the mix, my skin crawls, and my brain gets busy coming up with excuses to stay home.
However, I’ve gotten to the point in my career when I can’t deny it anymore: The benefits of networking outweigh the full-body ick that comes with the thought of doing it. When done well, networking is about creating relationships. It’s about making yourself memorable. It’s not like an audition; that’s more like an interview. If you network well enough, your good vibes might let you skip the traditional interview process altogether. It’s about showing off the work you’ve already done—kind of like a press tour.
Why I decided to treat networking like a press tour
Somehow, press tours have become some of the most intriguing pop culture events. More than award shows and interviews, the creative ways the entertainment industry has started to market itself is what’s making headlines and keeping us hooked on social media. From Erewhon smoothies to themed outfits—like Margot Robbie’s vintage Barbie references and Zendaya going full tennis-core for Challengers—press tours have to be more inventive than ever to get people to pay attention.
In the same vein, the job market is more competitive than ever. So, I decided to gamify the intimidating process of networking by thinking of it as a press tour. Lots of career advice is about thinking of yourself as a brand, but have you ever thought about yourself as a movie? Anecdotes about your work are like the trailer, and networking can even be fun if it’s a press tour.
While this might sound a little too abstract or a reach, challenging myself to start thinking this way has done the impossible: made me excited for networking events. And since a press tour is made of many different stops, I’ve been going to a lot of events to test this theory, increase my opportunity for luck, and feel a little like Zendaya in the process. Here are the steps I’m taking to press tour-ify networking and a few of the networking tips and lessons I’ve learned along the way:
How to treat networking like a press tour
1. Figure out your goals
Unlike sitting at your computer and tracking job applications, networking can feel fruitless because there is no real way to quantify it. Unless you put your own parameters in place. You can count business cards or tally every conversation you have, but to really feel like the effort is worth it, base your results on your goals.
For example, as a freelance writer, I attend events with other writers, editors, creators, brands, and more. If I were looking for more writing opportunities, a successful night would be one where I connected with an editor. If I were trying to get on more PR lists, I’d find the right contacts to get me the goods. And if I were looking to form a bigger community of writers, I’d go in resolute to make friends with the other creatives who pursue this career, and then ask them to co-work with me sometime.
My current goal is to get better at talking about myself. So, to get there, I’ve been talking to as many people as possible. While I make sure to ask them questions about themselves, I am trying not to lean on my usual habit of focusing on them to avoid talking about myself. Instead, I try to keep the conversation balanced and offer up anecdotes (that aren’t self-deprecating) about my work and my perspective. To me, it’s like the press tour interviews where the celebrities play with puppies or take lie detector tests. Those aren’t strictly about the project they’re working on, but they’re about getting people interested in the actors themselves. In a perfect world, my work would speak for itself. But there are lots of good writers. My goal is to get people interested in me so they can get interested in my writing, not the other way around.
2. Visualize your ideal definition of success
Now that you know what you want from your foray into networking, try to really visualize what success would look like. Is it a new job in a fancy high-rise building where you get to wear a chic blazer and lean into the corporate-core aesthetic? Is it an inbox full of accepted pitches? Is it a standing dinner date with a bunch of new friends in your industry? Get really clear on this visualization. Even make a vision board. Wherever you stand on the idea of manifestation, research shows that visualization boosts confidence. Since 76 percent of people who write down their goals actually achieve them, I like to make a vision board to visualize the career I want—and the path to get there. My most recent vision board has pictures from publications I’d like to write for, but also, you guessed it, pictures from really good press tours. Visualizing how to nail the process is just as important as imagining the end result. Like this whole press tour concept, it’s important to romanticize the journey.

“My goal is to get people interested in me so they can get interested in my writing, not the other way around.”

The key here is specificity. And aligning your vision with your goals. Do your research. Who are the key players in your industry? Whom do you aspire to be like? Who are the people who can make your dreams a reality? Knowing who they are can help you in two ways. First, you can take cues from their trajectories to inspire your own career. But it also helps you know who to talk to. As you do the networking circuit or attend conferences and events, just knowing who is in the room can give you a major leg up.
3. Rehearse your lines
Have you ever noticed that, during press tours, your favorite celebs will often tell the same stories? Over and over, they talk about that one funny moment behind the scenes or the well-rehearsed tale about how they landed the job, prepared for the role, or wrote the song. It’s because they know it’ll work. Those moments are chosen to showcase something about their project that will reel you in and keep you thinking about them. And while I would advise against writing a script and sounding too rehearsed, having some anecdotes on hand can help alleviate your nerves and keep you talking about things that are relevant to your goals—without veering into boring territory.
This is different than an elevator pitch. It’s not a pitch at all. Just keep a few anecdotes in your back pocket alongside a quick explanation of who you are and what you do. I can’t count the times I’ve resorted to the cliche of weather talk because I couldn’t think of something to say. Prepping a couple of illustrative tidbits helps keep my goals front of mind. I’ve been sharing the tale of the time I got a tarot reading on a brand education trip. It reveals a little bit about me, namely my “woo woo” side, while also allowing me to segue into talking about the kind of writing I do and the people I’ve worked with.
4. Create a character — and dress like them
According to experts, when trying to become a new version of yourself, you should act as if you already are the person you want to be. Essentially, fake it until you make it. How does this person spend their days? How do they carry themselves? What do they wear? When coming up with this “press tour” concept, I thought about how the most fun press tours take every opportunity to reference their characters. The aforementioned Barbie and Challengers press tours are prime examples. In both cases, the cast channeled their characters to make audiences connect with the new characters. Ryan Gosling became Ken. Zendaya appeared in the audience of every major tennis match.
In the same way, the version of myself I take to networking events is me but better. She’s a little more polished, and her life looks like my vision boards. To get into character, I dress like a higher version of myself. I didn’t buy a slew of expensive outfits to wear once—this isn’t a real press tour. But I did buy a couple of cool new pieces to get me out of my comfort zone and into character. New clothes also helped me get excited for the first few networking events. No matter how nervous I was, I got a little confidence boost from the feeling of wearing a new outfit.

“I’ve gone from feeling like I’m playing a role every time I step into a room full of potential connections to feeling like this ‘character’ I created really is a version of myself.”

So the feeling doesn’t wear off, I’ve challenged myself to wear the same pieces, styled differently, to each event. It helps give me some continuity: I know I feel confident in this shirt, so I can step into this character every time I wear it. Plus, exploring how to wear it—jeans one night, a pair of mushroom-colored work pants the next, and mary janes the next—makes each night an opportunity for reinvention.
5. Go solo
The hardest thing to get used to about networking: going alone. While bringing a plus-one can help you feel intimidated, it can also keep you from potentially generative conversations. It’s easy to stand in the corner talking to a bestie but remember: We’re trying to give ourselves every opportunity for luck. The people huddled together at these events don’t get approached as much as the other people who are walking around alone. The first couple of times, I FaceTimed my friends before leaving for the event just to get loose and get myself in the mood to yap. You can’t buy the kind of confidence you get from a quick call with someone who knows (and believes in) you.
6. Keep showing up for yourself
The first networking event I approached with this tactic, I was full of apprehension. It took a few tries to successfully work my practiced anecdotes into conversation and make my self-pitch sound natural. But with each interaction, it got a little bit easier. By the end of the first event, I was buzzing. Despite their rocky starts, each conversation I had was way more generative than any other time I had dipped my toes in the networking waters. I found myself looking forward to the next one instead of dreading it.
Just a few months in, I’ve seen a change. I’ve gone from feeling like I’m playing a role every time I step into a room full of potential connections to feeling like this “character” I created really is a version of myself. And she has gotten so good at starting conversations. While my goal of improving my ability to talk about myself is a little hard to measure, I’ve already seen the results. When I sit down to write pitches or warm emails, I sound much more confident over email. I don’t let nerves make me procrastinate my emails, either. I apply the same principles and get a boost of confidence.
7. Embrace your newfound confidence
Confidence has been the main benefit of this exercise. It’s almost impossible to not be confident when channeling Zendaya and Margot Robbie. But one thing I didn’t expect: I don’t really need to imagine being them anymore. Hearing myself say positive things about myself over and over to strangers—and having them respond positively—has given me a major self-esteem boost. This has created a positive feedback loop where because I’m feeling more confident, I have an even better time at networking events, which boosts my confidence even more. Never one for gatekeeping, I’ve told all my friends about the personal and professional growth I’ve seen with this approach, and they’re taking it on, too.
The main benefit of this “press tour” concept is keeping my momentum going. When it comes to networking, your work is never finished. At some point, you become the person people are trying to meet—and that’s what you’re working toward. But something with such abstract benefits can be hard to get out of bed for. But when I’m tempted to bed rot after a day of work instead of putting on my networking outfit and leaving the house, I pump myself up by reopening my vision board and remembering that if I want my life to feel like a movie, I have to go on the press tour.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Langa Chinyoka, Contributing Writer
Langa is a Los Angeles-based writer and strategist. She is currently an editor and content strategist at a marketing agency. Her work has appeared in The Paris Review, British Vogue, Highsnobiety, Eyeswoon, Camille Styles, The Good Trade, and more. More

Remember water cooler chats? The water cooler or the break area were places you could step away from your desk and let the corporate mask slip. It was a space to let off steam about overbearing supervisors or difficult-to-work-with colleagues. However, now that 22 percent of people work remotely, many “water cooler chats” are restricted to company-provided networks like Slack or Microsoft Teams, and those messages are not private.
While it’s human nature to commiserate, many companies have admonished employees for gossiping. As more corporations rely on data to gauge productivity, they can use this same software to surveil your conversations. So, I can’t stress this enough: You really need to be careful about what you say in your work chats. We want you to keep your job in this chaotic market, so we’re breaking down six rules for slack etiquette to ensure your messages don’t get you fired.

MEET THE EXPERT
Alisha Banks
Alisha Banks is a business management consultant  and creative professional with a diversified background including specializations in product management, fraud prevention and analysis, and competitive intelligence.

1. Keep it neutral
It’s totally reasonable to have critiques about your job and employer. However, when airing your grievances to others, say less and stick to the bottom line. “Keep it neutral and avoid strong wording or stances,” Alisha Banks, Business Management Consultant, advises. While you’re within your right to challenge what is not working, be mindful of how you express your frustrations. For example, instead of saying you “hate” the new company-wide policies rolled out by management, speak about what you like. And for what you don’t, keep it neutral with a simple comment like, “I’m curious to see how these new policies will improve my workflow.” Remain objective and avoid empty complaints, as they can foster an uncomfortable environment for others and negatively affect their experience—giving your employer a reason to fire you.
2. Assume your employer reads your messages
Sometimes, we act before thinking and send off an emotionally charged message. And while you can delete or edit your Slacks, your employer can still view them afterward; oops. If it’s one of those days, and you can’t help but pop off over messages, may we suggest you do it with a tone of neutrality and follow it up with a solution? Using the example of new company-wide policies, refrain from reactive opinions and off-the-cuff remarks. Instead, use your passion to brainstorm with a teammate on alternative solutions to offer up to your supervisor. Most employers are solely focused on what’s best for the company, so tailor your complaints to be solution-oriented. Maybe when they read your messages, they’ll find your grievances warranted! If you really do need to blow off steam (we all have those days!), take the conversation offline and onto your personal devices. More than anything, we recommend venting to a friend, a partner, or your journal.
3. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t want to be repeated
From work wives to work besties, building close bonds in the workplace is natural and encouraged. However, it’s important to remember they’re still your colleagues, and you never know what’s being repeated to other workmates. Save the juicy gossip for your friends outside of work. “Obviously, be friendly to your colleagues, but remember these are your co-workers at the end of the day, and you don’t know who is telling who what, especially in this remote landscape,” says Banks.
4. Be mindful of your tone
Tone doesn’t always translate via texts, and if you primarily communicate with colleagues on Slack, it’s not guaranteed your messages won’t be taken out of context. When communicating online, keep it light and err on the side of optimism so your comments aren’t perceived as problematic. When used sparingly, emojis are a great tool to soften your delivery or convey a point succinctly and warmly.
5. Remain emotionally unattached
At the end of the day, you should work hard at your job, but remember it doesn’t define you. If it’s affecting your emotions, it might be time to take a step back and redefine your priorities. Expressing your frustrations occasionally can help relieve stress and even trigger an “aha moment” to a problem. But, if you’re often emotionally triggered at work, you may want to find an alternative outlet to let off steam. The age-old advice of taking a beat when angry before communicating applies at work, too. “Try not to be super emotionally attached to whatever is going on at work,” says Banks. And if you do find yourself activated at work, go for a short walk, do a short meditation in your car, or call a friend on your break to take your mind off things; opt for gentle practices that help center and ground you.
6. Set boundaries with coworkers
Sometimes, you’re not the one gossiping; instead, you’re a listening ear to disgruntled co-workers. This can be tricky because you’re technically still participating in the conversation, and your employer may assume you feel the same as your colleagues. Not to mention, work drama is distracting to your actual work, and you’ve got enough on your plate. “You don’t know who is watching, and at the end of the day, it’s better not to be involved in any drama,” Banks advises.
Set boundaries early and swiftly. Let your co-workers know you’re uncomfortable having those types of discussions at work, and if it’s important to you to hold space for them, suggest a meet-up outside of work. Gossip is best discussed over cocktails, anyway.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jasmine Desiree, Contributing Writer
Jasmine Desiree is an L.A.-based writer and editor who covers everything from beauty and lifestyle to interior design. Her writing can also be found in Coveteur, Architectural Digest, POPSUGAR, and more. She loves covering people, places, and trends that are innovative and influential to the culture. More

Up until working at The Everygirl, every job I’d ever had had a dress code that bothered me to no end. From a “no shoulders” rule as a concert usher in high school to a “covered knees, covered chest” rule at a restaurant job in college, I along with many others hear society’s message loud and clear: dressing modestly equates to being taken seriously, and therefore makes you “better” at what you do. Let it be known that acknowledging this ideal as a misogynistic dumpster fire is far from a new revelation. But through none other than the power of TikTok, Gen Z women have recently brought the conversation of what it means to “dress professionally” in the workplace to the forefront—and we should absolutely be hearing them (and their stellar office ‘fits) out.
However, the nuances of the great work attire debate cannot go unrecognized. One TikTok video that garnered quite a bit of buzz sums them up perfectly, as a woman shared how she was asked to reschedule a job interview because she was wearing shorts, with almost all of the 30K+ comments agreeing that she deserved to be turned away. You could argue that this ends the conversation, point-blank period: What you wear to work does, in fact, matter. Well, it does matter, yes—but not for the reasons we’ve been conditioned to think, and maybe not for much longer. Here’s how women in the office today are challenging what it means to “dress professionally”:

The narrative that clothing defines capabilities is changing day by day
I’ll say it: I have seen more cool, creative, expressive, it-girl outfits in office OOTD TikToks than I have on some NYFW runways—and that is a world I want to live in. Unfortunately, change doesn’t happen overnight. That said, our “for you” pages are flooded with videos challenging the traditional office dress code norms set by past generations, not from a place of rebellion but from one of self-expression and a desire to feel confident in the workplace.
Emily Blair Media, an award-winning public relations agency, sets a perfect example of a workplace that sees fashion as a way to empower instead of hinder. Controversially, they openly have a “no dress code” policy in their Gen Z-dominated office. They frequently share office OOTDs on TikTok amongst their impressive “on-the-spot” PR pitches and inspiring advice sessions, demonstrating how someone’s OOTD in no way defines what they bring to the table as a hard-working woman.

A bright-colored top, naked knee, or a sneaker does not negatively impact anyone’s performance—an environment that hyper-sexualizes or shames the expression of its employees does. Associating modest, business attire with how seriously someone takes their job is a deep-rooted patriarchal belief and standard that will take time to reverse, and these silly little videos have become a huge stepping stone in that process.
Workwear expectations are outdated, to say the least
You think you fell out of a coconut tree? When it comes to office dress codes, Kamala Harris kind of hit the nail on the head. Particularly in 9-to-5 corporate spaces, the expectation of what employees (particularly women) should wear to work is a long-standing tradition that has reigned supreme for much longer than the newer generation’s widespread push to redefine it. Like all social or political movements, challenging prejudiced norms is a mandatory first step to creating the change we want to see. However, it’s not until people who embody our visions are in positions of power that the culture will shift entirely. Will your 57-year-old boss in finance ever come to terms with you stunting your eclectic grandpa aesthetic in the all-staff? Probably not. But, promotion by promotion, we are moving closer to that reality.

A bright colored top, naked knee, or a sneaker does not negatively impact anyone’s performance—an environment that hypersexualizes or shames the expression of its employees does.

The goalposts shift little by little with each generation
Like Emily Blair Media, there are already Gen Z-dominated companies that have shifted dress code expectations entirely, but there are not quite enough to change these universally accepted rules of thumb overnight—and that’s totally OK. As of right now, HR, manager, and CEO roles are filled by generations more accustomed to traditional office dress codes—whether they are boomers, Gen X, or millennials. So, making a complete 180-degree switch is easier said than done. However, things are changing. At The Everygirl, for example, our predominantly millennial-led meetings feature women rocking no makeup and matching sweat sets. And when we’re in the office, everyone’s unique personal style is on full display—even if “unique” sometimes means collectively pulling up like a ’90s Gap ad.
Until a time when younger generations outnumber the older ones in positions of authority, patience is key. Is this a bit frustrating at times? Yes. But can we still push the boundary of what it means to dress professionally within these rules? Absolutely, and those rules will evolve generation after generation.

There are more stylish days ahead for employees
Through these fun little TikTok videos, Gen Z has made it known that the conversation of what it means to “dress professionally” isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. At the end of the day, dressing in a way that makes you feel like the most powerful, confident, and productive version of yourself should be the baseline standard, and however that manifests itself from person to person shouldn’t matter. The narrative of “professional dress” will be completely flipped on its head in due time. Until then, all we can do is continue to push boundaries where we can, keep the discourse going both online and next to the office water cooler, and know that there are brighter (and God knows more stylish) days ahead.

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As the Branded Content Editorial Assistant, McKenna assists the sales team with the content creation process by updating stories, sourcing images and graphics, pitching and contributing stories of her own, and more. Some of her favorite topics to write about are entertainment, culture, and lifestyle. More