lifestyle and culture

In the workplace, it’s a fact that words have the power to help or hinder both performance and perception. From a presenter constantly saying “um” or “uh” to receiving or giving feedback in a way that could be more productive, what you do in the workplace matters—but what you say matters too. 
Especially for women (we all know the “how many exclamation points should I add to this email” debacle), it’s easy to get stuck using certain phrases at work that either could be eliminated completely or altered to be more effective in communication. Looking to upgrade your professional self this year? Here are seven phrases to stop saying ASAP—and what you should say instead.

1. “Let me know”
Saying “let me know!” at the end of an email chain, meeting, or conversation seems like a good idea. It sounds so polite and respectful. Well, yes, but it isn’t helpful. It doesn’t outline next steps or identify action items, it provides no clear direction, and worst of all, it puts the onus on someone else (i.e., not you) to do the work of decision-making in order to prevent stagnation on a solution or project.
In an age of full inboxes, packed schedules, and meeting overload, you’ll stand out by taking initiative. Start with the questions at hand: Does a meeting need to be scheduled? Should a call be made? Can a draft be created? What sort of deadline is required? Are there notes or resources to be located? Focus on figuring out what you can do to provide value in the short-term, and then articulate exactly that with as many deadlines and details as possible.
For example, instead of telling your boss, “Let me know if I can help with the budget proposal,” say, “I’ll call Mary today to follow up on the proposal draft so we can meet the budget deadline.”

2. “I feel like”
We’ve all been there: that moment when you say, “I feel like… ” and sound like a Valley Girl to the nth degree. This phrase is commonly used to frame an idea or viewpoint when we are feeling unsure; we throw it out there as self-protection in light of anticipated criticism. Removing these words from your career lexicon allows you to be taken more seriously, and honestly, it’s more effective.
Imagine telling your boss, “I feel like I should get a raise.” She or he would most likely ask for reasons why you deserve a raise, what you’ve accomplished thus far to validate a raise, what percentage of an increase seems reasonable, and so on. A better approach, then, is to say: “I’d like to be considered for a raise this year, because of X, Y, and Z.”
Cut to the chase and say what you really mean.

3. “No problem”
I used to reply with an automatic, upbeat “No problem!” when someone said, “Thank you.” I did this for everything from tiny tasks to major milestones, acting like it was no big deal even though I secretly appreciated the show of gratitude for my effort. “Why can’t I just say ‘you’re welcome’?” I finally wondered.
Insert lightbulb moment: For some reason, I thought acknowledging a compliment contrasted with being humble, and that’s simply not true. When you say, “You’re welcome,” you’re actually saying, “Yes, I did that for you!” It feels good to be noticed, recognized, and appreciated; furthermore, it often makes the person thanking you feel warm fuzzies inside, too.

Source: Danielle Moss for The Everygirl

4. “Just”
Look at your email and delete all the times you use the word, “just” as a qualifier for what you’re doing or saying. If you’re anything like me, you probably use it a lot without even thinking. “Just” is a qualifying phrase; it sounds respectful, as though you’re deferring to someone smarter or better than you. That may be the case, but it also positions you as a constant subordinate. I found that I used this word when I felt nervous about asking for what I needed or guilty about imposing on someone’s time. And when I paid attention to how often I said “just,” I realized that it served no real purpose.
Consider the difference: “I just wanted to get your opinion” vs. “I wanted your opinion.” Which is more clear and confident-sounding? Definitely the latter. Removing “just” from your words strengthens your message as well as makes you sound, and feel, more confident.

5. “This is probably a bad idea, but…”
Imagine that you’re sitting in a brainstorming meeting, and the perfect idea comes to mind. You wait for an opening in conversation, open your mouth and then… note a bunch of flaws regarding your proposition before you even share what it is in the first place. You start rattling off introductory phrases, such as:
“This might be wrong, but…”“I’m no expert, but…”“This may not work, but…”
Don’t do this! Most of the time, it’s an attempt to demonstrate humility or lower the expectations of your listener. For me, I sometimes talk this way when I’m feeling a little shy or nervous about whatever I’m trying to articulate. However, if I don’t believe in what I’m saying, why should my audience? There’s no need to defensively outline the flaws of your viewpoint or position before others have even had a chance to hear it. Keep your credibility intact by simply stating your case and letting people react—for better or worse.

6. “Does that make sense?”
A mentor once gave me a fantastic piece of advice: she suggested that I practice pausing, and waiting, after making a recommendation or delivering a presentation. “Practice being quiet?!” I thought at the time. But she was right.
More often than not, after I’m done speaking in a work situation, I hear crickets and panic—Are people confused? What did I miss? Do they hate it? Then, I rush to fill the space with either more talk or questions like, “Does that make sense?” The latter is not helpful. Sure, it’s important to invite feedback and check for clarity, but if someone has an opinion or feels confused about the topic, he or she will probably pipe up. You don’t have to preemptively suggest that you’re not being coherent.

7. “How do I… ”?
Two words, my friend—Google it. I always, always, always Google my question before bringing it to a co-worker or boss. Not only does this save time, but it makes you look smarter because you took the time to gather as many answers as possible on your own.
This tip seems super obvious, and yet, I see it every day: People (myself included!) ask questions that could have been answered with a little digital detective work. Using the Internet to problem-solve (assuming you, ahem, don’t fall down the rabbit hole of cute cat videos) can decrease your list of questions dramatically, which allows you to focus on the areas you really do need team support or guidance.

Help! I Accidentally Emailed the Wrong Person
step one: don’t panic More

We’ve all been there. Even with the most careful review, a wrong email goes out the door with a message you didn’t want to send, or to someone who shouldn’t have received it. When this mini office disaster strikes, don’t panic. Knowing your options and acting swiftly (but professionally) can help to keep your office reputation intact. Here’s what to do if you emailed the wrong person:

Don’t react, respond
The first step is to take a deep breath and prepare a response plan, not a panicked reaction. Since it’s likely we were distracted or working quickly when the wrong email went out, it can be tempting to hustle into face-saving mode. Unfortunately, that can lead to follow-on errors, so above all slow yourself down for a minute before proceeding. You’ll be better prepared to navigate the follow-on office politics.

Understand your recall options
Thankfully, the bright minds at places like Google and Outlook understand that these things are going to happen. Whatever email service provider you’re using, do a quick search to understand exactly how you can recall an email and what remains visible to the unintended receiver on the other side. (For example, some systems issue “recall” message, but don’t actually delete the received note, so just be sure you know what the end outcome actually is.)

Evaluate the content in the error
Take a beat to consider where you’re at on the email disaster scale. Is it just a mis-spelled name that landed you in someone else’s inbox at your company, or did you add an extra recipient without meaning to? Innocuous misdirections like this can be corrected pretty easily, provided you don’t have any personally identifiable information in the email or information that your company would deem sensitive. If the latter is the case, you’ll want to check in with a manager or HR contact on policies surrounding mis-dissemination—just to cover your bases. Data breaches are serious business, and you want to be sure you’re not in violation of any security policy.
If you didn’t have anything sensitive in the email, one of the most courteous things to do is craft an email with a single sentence in the subject line, sparing the recipient from having to open this note as well. (And if they haven’t opened the other one yet, possibly meaning they only have to delete it.) Something like, “Regret the earlier misdirect. Please disregard my previous note. n/t” (The “n/t” tells them there’s “no text” in the email, meaning it’s a quick scan for folks as they’re rolling through their messages on their phone.)

Source: @mylittlebooktique

Evaluate the recipient of the error
The quick one-liner works wonders if you know that it’s a peer, or someone generally in your colleague pool that received your misfire. Alternatively, if you’ve mistakenly sent something off to a big wig, it might take a little more repair. Depending on who you’re dealing with, you might consider a quick call to their administrative support, who likely have email access and can possibly even delete the mistake before it catches the eye of the big boss.
If the message went outside of your organization, that’s another incident where a phone call can be the best way to intercept a poorly-received message. Again, ensure that it doesn’t contain proprietary info that would require you inform a manager or other parts of your security team.
Depending on the cringe factor of the message in combination with who received it, you might do yourself a favor by giving your boss a heads up. Coming clean quickly, letting them know how you’re remedying it, and saving them from hearing it from another person is often the most professional way to save face in these incidences.
If something gossipy between you and a close colleague left the nest and it really wasn’t your best self, try for a quick call or drive by your boss’s office the same day. Your own office culture will help gage if this is necessary, but if there’s any chance that this could come back to haunt you in performance reviews, compensation discussions, or how you’re perceived by your peers, err on the side of disclosure.
A quick admittance and explanation, along with your apology and how you remedied the situation should be enough. “Alex and I were trading emails about the sales meeting today and in that note some of my comments were unprofessional. I accidentally sent it to Jenna, and gave her a quick call to apologize for those remarks asking that she delete the email. She understood and was gracious, but I just wanted to make you aware of the situation. It won’t happen again.”

Own up to your error and apologize
There are generally two categories of the most cringe-worthy sends. Either mass errors, where just your average every day work email goes to the wrong gal, or (eek) large group of people. These are annoying, but provided they’re not in the territory of security issues, can usually be solved with the one liner apology above.
The other category is the one we all struggle to recover from. The one where something outside of our normal office speak, badmouthing a person or process, or revealing perhaps plans for a new gig makes its way into the wrong hands. In these big error, wrong gal moments, extra damage control is needed.
Those always require a phone call to the recipient. (And, if it’s a thread where another colleague might come off in a less-than-flattering light, you may need to pre-plan with them as well.) Again, straight up honesty is the best policy here. “I’m sorry, that email wasn’t intended for you. I have some potential opportunities I’m considering but I’m not ready to share that information more widely. I hope you understand and would delete the note I’ve accidentally just sent.”
If the email was more of the snarky variety, you can still save some face by using it as an opportunity to potentially have some more constructive conversations about whatever you’re addressing in the note. “Please excuse the language I used in reference to the sales meeting we had last week. I’m feeling frustrated about where we’re at with that project, but I certainly could have taken that feedback to Anna directly and will do so now.”
The bottom line is that nothing is without repair if you act thoughtfully and with enough grace and transparency. And going forward, adding a few safety nets like turning on spell check prompts and sending confirmation features can give you that extra few seconds of review to help prevent future email sending disasters.

How to Write a Resume With Little or Irrelevant Experience
don’t panic, just strategize More

When it comes down to it, the resume is your greatest marketing tool—it highlights your skills and expertise and shows potential employers why you’re the best fit for their organization. So, needless to say, writing the perfect resume can be a challenge.
But, what if you’re just starting out and have very little experience under your belt? Or, what if you’re making a career transition and think you don’t have relevant job experience to share? This makes crafting the perfect resume that much more challenging (as if it needed to be any harder).
But there’s no need to panic. Here are five tips to write a powerful resume—how to highlight your best attributes and clinch that prized interview even if you have very little or completely irrelevant job experience.

1. Analyze the Job Description
This is a must when you’re applying for any job, but it’s particularly essential when you need to appropriately tailor or expand on your professional history in order to present yourself as qualified.
Before even opening up a blank document and putting your name at the top, take the time to go through the job description with a fine-tooth comb. Are there key words like leadership, communication, or organization that keep popping up? Do they list Photoshop expertise as a desired skill? Is there a certain line of the description that makes you think, “Hey, that’s totally me!”
Getting a solid handle on the specific qualifications they’re searching for is incredibly important for helping you appropriately tweak and target your resume. Once you’re armed with the details of what they consider a perfect candidate, injecting some of that information into your own document (while still being honest, of course!) will be much easier.

2. Play Up Your Skills
Whether you have little to no job experience or experience that doesn’t directly correlate to the job you’re applying for, this tactic will be beneficial. When drafting a resume, make the effort to place the majority of your emphasis on your skills and knowledge, rather than past experience.
What exactly does this mean? Well, it all starts at the top of your resume where the key skills section should appear. This portion is typically a bulleted piece that highlights your strongest expertise—such as public speaking, database management, or search engine optimization. This is the perfect place to insert any skills they listed in the job description that you possess. Think of it as your chance to demonstrate your quality and relevancy.
When emphasizing skills, it’s also important to broaden your view a bit—especially if you have very little professional work experience. Did you have a college internship that refined your project management skills? Have you become a master at creating graphics for your personal blog? Did you volunteer for a community project that made you a great team leader?
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that the skills you list on your resume need to be the direct result of a previous professional position. As long as you can successfully demonstrate those abilities, go ahead and list them—it really doesn’t matter where you learned them.

3. Write an Impactful Summary
If you’re anything like me, the “About” page on websites and blogs is one of your favorites. It’s great to learn a little bit more about a particular person in their own words. Think of the summary at the top of your resume in the same way: It’s your opportunity to step away from short, bulleted fragments and share a little bit about yourself.
Some resume writers disagree, but the standard objective statement is a thing of the past. Instead, begin your resume with a powerful professional summary. This short paragraph introduces you as a candidate and expands on your resume’s details in order to show why you’re a perfect fit for the open position.
It goes without saying that you should use this section as your opportunity to shine. Instead of simply rewording and reiterating everything already listed on your resume, use this space to expand on all of those skills that make you a fit for the position. The summary is one of the first things a hiring manager will read, so make sure it’s top-notch and targeted! Injecting a little personality never hurts.

4. Polish Your Positions
Yes, you want to showcase your skills. But that doesn’t mean you can ditch the standard descriptions of your positions completely. While you could utilize a functional format resume, which is categorized based on area of expertise rather than previous jobs, most recruiters agree that those are significantly more difficult to read. Instead, tailor the descriptions of your previous positions to make them as powerful as possible.
Need an example? Let’s say you’ve worked part-time at a customer call center through college and now are looking to transition to your first professional job in marketing. Instead of listing one of your duties as something basic like, “Answered customer calls” try “Fostered continuous brand loyalty by providing high quality customer service over the phone.” It’s the same duty, but the second one sounds better and mentioning brand loyalty demonstrates relevancy in the marketing field.
You always want to be honest and avoid filling your resume up with large, complex phrases that don’t add any actual value. But, finding common threads between your past positions and the one you’re applying for will help put your resume on the top of the pile.

5. Play with Structure
For the most part, resumes are pretty cut and dried—there are certain things you need to have. But, that doesn’t mean you don’t have any room for flexibility.
If you’re someone that has a relatively extensive history with a variety of different positions, there’s no rule stating that you need to have a detailed description of all of them. Instead, provide more detail on the ones that are at least somewhat relevant and then add an “Additional Experience” section. Under that header, you can list positions that aren’t as closely related and only include essential information like company, job title, and dates of employment.
Not only does this downplay any unrelated experience in your history a bit, but it also helps free up valuable resume real estate for you to emphasize the things that actually do matter!
There’s no doubt about it, crafting an effective resume is no easy feat. And having very little or completely irrelevant job experience can definitely add fuel to that fire. But, it doesn’t mean you need to throw your hands up and resign yourself to an eternity of constantly working the same job. Put these tactics to work to help you craft a resume that presents you as an accomplished and qualified candidate and get ready for that interview call.

How to Show Your Passion in a Cover Letter and Resume More

Most of us say we want more time in the day. Well, I spent about 11 months with just that, and I can honestly say it wasn’t for me. Like many people, I was unemployed for the better part of last year. The experience left me shaken. I lost my confidence and began questioning my talent, but I learned so much about how I lost myself in my previous job—or at least that’s what it seemed like.
It’s something that can happen to anyone. Think about the last time you were at a party and met someone new (I know, I know it’s been quite a while). Likely, one of the first things they asked was, “What do you do?” The conversation probably continued with more questions about what your exact title is or how you spend your day and if you enjoy it. This is standard and polite chitchat in our society. There’s nothing really wrong with it, but it begs the question: Are we obsessed with our jobs?
Imagine being asked that simple, innocent question about what you do for a living, except this time you don’t have an answer. You don’t have a job right now or, frankly, any prospects either. Just thinking about this situation sends a tidal wave of embarrassment, anger, and sadness rushing over me because I’ve been in this position before. 
It’s not the other person’s fault, but this common question isn’t exactly crafted for someone standing in the unemployment line. It automatically assumes you’ll be able to confidently answer with your profession which, more often than not, is a large part of a first impression. I’ve also seen the look on someone’s face when you respond with “Oh, actually I’m looking for a job right now,” or “I work as a television news producer, but I’m currently in between jobs.” Their eyes momentarily get big, they try to stretch out a convincing smile, and all the while they’re internally telling themselves to “be cool, be cool,” despite being filled with instant regret.

Source: Social Squares

I’ve talked with a few other people who have either been fired before or walked away from a job on their own over the last couple of years. It’s interesting because we all have different stories about how we ended up with the label of “unemployed,” but we all mostly feel the same about the experience. It’s a mix of literally every single emotion you can imagine. I remember feeling embarrassed and powerless. I was angry it wasn’t my decision. I was happy I didn’t have to go back there, yet I was stressed about not having anywhere to go. Ultimately, I felt an overwhelming sadness that left me terrified. While I was overflowing with confusing and contradicting emotions, I somehow felt empty.

I remember feeling embarrassed and powerless. I was angry it wasn’t my decision. I was happy I didn’t have to go back there, yet I was stressed about not having anywhere to go. Ultimately, I felt an overwhelming sadness that left me terrified. While I was overflowing with confusing and contradicting emotions, I somehow felt empty.

Months later, I was babbling about my tangled mess of emotions to a close friend of mine. About a year before, she made the decision to step away from her decades-long career to protect her mental health. Leaving the (mostly) stable schedule and salary was her choice, but she struggled in the same ways I did. She shared with me something her therapist told her and honestly I think about these words every day. Her therapist described our emotional confusion as a form of grief. We were grieving the loss of who we were; our identities. 
A study by the Pew Research Center in 2016 confirms this. The research shows 51 percent of Americans said their jobs are central to who they are and gives them a sense of identity. That number seems understandable and like not a big deal until 2020 rolls around. After all, we do spend a lot of time at work. But, according to USA Today, in November 2020, approximately 3.9 million Americans were experiencing longer-term unemployment, having been out of work for at least 27 weeks. 

We were grieving the loss of who we were; our identities. 

Source: Social Squares

I’m not great at math, but Siri says that means almost 2 million people most likely feel like they lost themselves when they lost their jobs. That’s on top of the depression, anxiety, and other psychological effects that already can accompany being unemployed for longer than six months. Take it from me: sleeping in because you really don’t have anything to do isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 
The idea of grieving the loss of my identity along with my job was groundbreaking for me, and it helped during the days that felt like an eternity. The fact is, I didn’t know how to spend my time. When I was working, there were never enough hours in the day. Suddenly I had all the time in the world, but I struggled to fill it. I tried to make working out my new thing. I told myself I’d read more. I entertained starting to paint again. But none of it felt right or felt like me. Also, each thing would only fill about an hour or two of a day… and then what? I now think who we are is how we spend our time. That’s why we have talented bakers, aspiring artists, and avid readers. I couldn’t get myself to fit into any of those categories; my 9-to-5 had consumed me. The majority of my friends were people I met at work. When we hung out, that’s what we’d talk about. So when it was taken away, I felt my identity was too.

Take it from me: sleeping in because you really don’t have anything to do isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I know I can’t be alone. Many people love what they do for a living. Whether it’s the salary, the schedule, your coworkers, or the fulfillment you get from your work, there’s some reason you chose your profession or—at least—why you choose to stay. There’s a fine line between loving your job and allowing it to become an obsession. I definitely dove headfirst into the latter without even realizing it. Consequently, I learned firsthand how soul-crushing unemployment can be, especially during a pandemic, when so many businesses are struggling and so few companies are looking to hire someone new.
I can now say I’m one of the lucky ones who managed to find a job toward the end of 2020. As I settle into working from home (and meeting my new coworkers over Zoom), I have to remind myself that I am more than my job title. Don’t get me wrong—I once again love what I do, I’m proud of my work, and I strive to be great at it. But at the end of the day, I’m the only one who cares about that. It took me almost 11 months of unemployment to realize my biggest issue wasn’t the fact that I didn’t have a job, it was that I thought I needed one to have value. For me, that theory was debunked when I looked at the people around me. I still had friends who cared about my thoughts and opinions, a fiancé who supported me on the good and bad days, and a family who encouraged me to keep my chin up through it all. These friendships and relationships aren’t contingent on my job status. Like I said, I’m one of the lucky ones.

My 9-to-5 had consumed me. The majority of my friends were people I met at work. When we hung out, that’s what we’d talk about. So when it was taken away, I felt my identity was too.

Source: Colorjoy Stock

While last year was difficult for so many reasons, my time of unemployment has made me more aware than ever of how I spend my time off the clock. I do things that keep me grounded and happy, no matter how simple—like enjoying a cup of coffee on the couch every morning, doing an online pilates class or going on the occasional run, and ending my day with an episode or two of whatever show I’m watching at the time. It turns out I didn’t need to pick up a new hobby to have a healthier relationship with work.

It took me almost 11 months of unemployment to realize my biggest issue wasn’t the fact that I didn’t have a job, it was that I thought I needed one to have value.

If you’re unemployed right now, just know that no matter how difficult it gets, this time is temporary and you will rebound. I encourage you to use your free time to find and do things that take your mind off the stress. If that means getting out of your comfort zone and trying something new every day, great! If you’re more like I was and you only have the energy to lay on the couch some days, that’s OK too. The important thing is to never equate your value as a person to your employment. Whether you see it yet or not, you have so many other talents and qualities that make you who you are… with or without a professional email account. More