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      We Need to Talk About Joining a Gym When You’re Plus-Size

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      It’s a constant joke that I was athletically challenged most of my life. I skipped school on the day of every single Pacer test, and when my parents told me I had to play a sport to get into college (my parents both didn’t attend college and genuinely thought you had to play a sport to get in—how pure), I attended one tennis practice and couldn’t show my face to the team ever again. But that doesn’t mean I’m inactive, and after a year of working out consistently at home followed by a short stint in my (better than average) apartment fitness center, I was ready to finally join a gym again.
      I never attended a gym until I was in college, but I quickly learned that weight training was my favorite way to work out. So, when I was home on summer break one year, I joined a gym. They asked all the typical questions: what is your favorite way to work out? How often do you plan to come? What are your fitness goals? But then they ask the worst question of all:
      “What’s your height and weight?”
      I remember thinking, how on Earth is this relevant to me joining the gym? What does saying my weight in this tiny office with this stranger in a gym do to help me achieve any fitness goals? It made me feel uncomfortable every time I saw that gym attendant, knowing that he knew really personal details about me and possibly made up his own judgments about me and my health, all because I told him a few numbers.

      I remember thinking, how on Earth is this relevant to me joining the gym? What does saying my weight in this tiny office with this stranger in a gym do to help me achieve any fitness goals?

      I put off joining a gym for a long time after that because it felt so daunting to put myself out there. I’m a mid-size cis-woman with a little bit of experience at the gym, and I worried about the judgments that might ensue walking into a weight room full of jacked bros and their protein shakes. Everyone talks about gym intimidation and how awkward being in the gym for the first time is, but no one talks about how uncomfortable and overbearing it can be to just join. After months of working out in my apartment gym, I was starting to feel a little stagnant with the level of equipment available to me, so I decided to join a nearby gym. And it was… in a word… horrible.

      My Experience
      I have never felt so uncomfortable as I did when I tried to join this gym. When I arrived, I met with the owner of the gym at a tiny kiosk in the middle of everything. Seriously, a man was like doing squats right next to my face. Not only was I prompted with the dreaded “What’s your height and weight?” (in the literal middle of the gym in front of everyone), but I was pestered and berated about my physical health (by a person who isn’t my doctor!) and questioned over and over about my fitness goals. When I said my goal was to just be healthy, I was, again, berated because I didn’t have any fitness goals. Eventually, I told the owner of the gym I have an eating disorder, and at one point (while tearing into me about my BMI and how I’m at risk to get cancer and have a stroke—again, not a doctor!), he said he wanted to be “gentle with my eating issue.” Then, he proceeded to tell me that if I have no fitness goals, there’s no point in joining the gym. Working out is fun for me and a way to de-stress—is that a crime?
      I stood in the middle of this gym while this stranger wrote down some of my most personal health information and threw it all back at me… and then dared to be upset when I wasn’t really feeling it and didn’t want to join his gym. Like sir, you just laid into me about how “unhealthy” I was and how joining a gym was pointless if I wasn’t trying to do a 180 on my body… what makes you think I’d ever want to come back here?
      I was so taken aback when I left that I called my mom and told all of my friends how horrible this experience was, and a lot of people echoed my thoughts on how agonizing the experience of joining a gym is. But until then, I’d never heard anyone talk about it. When men join a gym, it’s about them getting ripped, and as much as cis-men experience body image issues too, they’re not taught from a young age that how much you weigh is something to be embarrassed about in the same way women are. And the pressure is even worse when you’re above the threshold of what is an “acceptable” size as a woman.

      When men join a gym, it’s about them getting ripped, and as much as cis-men experience body image issues too, they’re not taught from a young age that how much you weigh is something to be embarrassed about in the same way women are.

      Aside from a horrible experience with management, I knew pretty early on this gym wouldn’t be for me. When I walked in, I saw guys who resembled Hulk or at the very least men whose dream was to look like the Hulk, and all the women were fit beyond belief. I didn’t see a single person in the gym who looked anything like me, and it was 7 pm on a weeknight, their busiest time. I knew I’d feel self-conscious going to a gym where I was the only one who didn’t train for marathons or body-building competitions.
      I ultimately left the gym and never looked back. It was so frustrating because they had a great facility, but I knew I’d never feel comfortable. Why do these gym owners think intimidating me and making me feel like an unhealthy sack of sh*t is the way to get me to join? I’d rather never step foot in your facility than ever feel that way again. Even if I was unhealthy, it’s truly none of your business why I’m at your gym.

      What I’m Going to Do Next
      As an avid exerciser, I simply can’t swear away the gym forever, even though the thought of walking inside one and signing up sounds like my personal hell after what I went through. Instead, I joined a nearby gym (we stan Planet Fitness in this house) that allowed me to easily sign up online with ZERO weird questions, pestering, or upselling at all. I’m able to go into my gym now without a care in the world and feel completely normal. Plus, the gym is filled with people just like me: just normal people who like to work out, some who look really fit, and some who look like your average Joe, and I love it. I also plan to start going to a few classes once a week or so to change it up and get my fix of working closely with a fitness professional without all the judgment. Plus, classes are so social and fun to do with friends, and I’ve missed it so much in the pandemic. 
      As far as how I’m coping with this negative experience, I’m choosing to focus on how happy I feel after a workout and remembering why I was so excited to move up in my fitness journey rather than keep up with my same routine. That’s progress, even if some rude, muscular guy at the gym doesn’t agree. Even taking the step of wanting to join a gym is progress! If you have a similar experience, pay attention to all the progress you’re making and get excited about what you’ll make in the future. And I highly recommend writing it out. This article was deeply cathartic. 

      I’m Plus-Size—Here’s Everything That Goes Through My Head While Having Sex More

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      10 Products I Go To When I Need an Immediate Mood Boost

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      Let’s be honest: We all have terrible, no good, very bad days every now and then. Even Beyoncé can feel stressed, unmotivated, or just plain bleh (not every Bey song is as upbeat as ***Flawless). We talk a lot about ways to get yourself out of a funk or just feel happier overall, like going for a walk, taking a bath, talking to your therapist, or eating your favorite meal. If you’re like me, a not-so-great mood can push you into a little retail therapy. No, money can’t buy happiness (unless it’s one of these ways), but a few key products help me de-stress, pamper myself, and squeeze self-care into my day whenever I need more energy, confidence, or positivity. IDK what helps Beyoncé get back to 7/11 energy, but read on for 10 mood-boosting products that have actually helped me care for myself and boost my mood instantly. 

      Equilibria
      Dynamic Roller Duo
      These genius little rollers are my secret weapon for a quick mood boost throughout the day. If I need a little more energy (like right before a big meeting or if I’m feeling an afternoon slump), I pull out the Energy Roller from my desk drawer for an instant boost. I keep the Calming Roller by my bed to use before I sleep or whenever I’m feeling anxious or stressed. Massaging it into my temples or on pulse points can make a huge difference in my mood thanks to 75mg of CBD per roller and essential oils. Both of these rollers work on a topical level to relieve pressure points, regulate mood, and ease topical discomfort. Trust me: You’re going to want both.
      Use code “theeverygirl” for 20% off your first order!

      Intelligent Change
      The Five Minute Journal
      PSA: Gratitude is not just a cheesy practice your mom preaches or a polite “thank you” when someone does something for you. It’s one of the easiest things I do that makes a drastic difference in my mood and overall happiness. Mentally reminding myself to be more grateful doesn’t always work, which is why I love this Five Minute Journal because it has prompts that make me feel more confident, calm, and grateful. I write in it for five minutes in the morning or turn to it when I’m feeling down. Works like a charm!

      Leaf Yoga Mat
      Good news for yogis and gym rats: Exercise is truly one of the best mood-boosters. Many people forego workouts on busy days because they don’t have time, but the busiest days are when I know I need exercise the most. Even a five-minute flow or a 30-minute at-home barre class transforms my entire day. I use this yoga mat for every at-home workout, and the banana leaf print makes me happy every time I look at it (because mood-boosters can come in even the smallest forms)!

      The Essentials Kit
      Another practice that has made a huge difference in preventing energy slumps and improving overall mood is diffusing essential oils. During my work day, I diffuse oils like peppermint, lemon, or eucalyptus to keep me focused and ease stress. At night, my go-to is lavender to help my body relax. Bonus: No matter what essential oil I’m diffusing, doing this always reminds me to take deep breaths and stay in the moment.

      Himalayan Salt Lamp
      I’m an anxious person, so fitting in relaxing practices throughout the day (instead of making it just a morning or night routine) has made a huge difference in my overall mood. One of my favorite practices to do when I’m feeling stressed, worried, or overwhelmed is to take a shower with the lights off and my Himalayan salt lamp on. Sounds weird, but I swear it calms me down and makes me happy. Try it for yourself and I guarantee you’ll never need a glass of wine to wind down again.

      Spoken Flames
      Light It Into Existence Candle
      Never underestimate the power of aromatherapy and the effect it can have on your mood. This candle uses notes like lavender, rose, and patchouli to engage your senses and help you feel more grounded, inspired, and connected to yourself. Whenever I need a little more positivity, I take a break, light this candle, and set an intention. Not only does the scent help, but the quick reminder also helps me reframe my mindset.

      Click & Grow
      Ultimate Smart Indoor Garden
      Call me an Ina Garten wannabe, but the kitchen will always be my happy place. Cooking makes me feel so good because I’m truly present during this time—instead of thinking about my to-do list, I’m focused on chopping veggies or mixing ingredients. To keep it feeling like a hobby rather than a chore, I make my time in the kitchen feel special by lighting candles, playing music, and using herbs I grow at home to add flavor and health benefits. Cooking can be one of the most frequent ways we care for ourselves and our loved ones. How could it not make you happy?

      Curling Tool
      Sometimes, a mood boost comes from external actions that affect how you feel more than changing mindset alone. We all have that one change in our appearance that helps us feel like our best selves. Maybe it’s a swipe of red lipstick or a power blazer for you, but for me, it’s a little wave in my hair. A good hair day makes me feel like I can take on the world, and I know that curling my hair can transform my mood for the rest of the day. When you take the time to do what makes you feel your best, you’re subconsciously proving to yourself that you deserve the best—instant mood boost!

      Sonia Kashuk
      Dry Brush
      We’ve already established that extra pampering throughout the day reminds me to focus on myself and totally transforms my mood. Dry brushing is another essential pampering practice, but there’s more to it than just that. I’ve heard that dry brushing can biologically boost mood because it stimulates the nervous system. Call it placebo, but I really do feel an immediate calmness afterward. I love this small brush to keep at my desk for a little stress-relieving pampering throughout the day.

      Oprah Winfrey
      The Wisdom of Sundays
      If I’m feeling stressed, anxious, bored, or just a little down, I know that I’ve been focusing too much on to-do lists or spending too much time on social media. In other words, I’m stuck in the mundane day-to-day routine instead of remembering that the point of life is to enjoy it. When I need a perspective shift, I read. This collection of interviews by Oprah is my favorite because it’s basically the best words of wisdom from her favorite interviews. For an inspiring read that will transform your perspective and give you a long-term mood shift, grab this.

      6 Techniques to Reduce Stress That My Therapist Taught Me

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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      The Unexpected Workout That I Actually Enjoy (and You Might Too)

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      I’m ready to sing it from the rooftops: I finally found a form of exercise that I’ve stuck with and that I truly enjoy. It’s not too strenuous—but it burns enough calories for me, makes me feel good, and is easy to fit into my routine. So, what is it? Walking. Yes, that’s it: just going for a nice long walk. I have long heard about the benefits of walking (and obviously have gone for walks here and there in the past), but I hadn’t really gotten into a regular routine until recently.
      I’ve always been someone who reaaaaally struggles to find the motivation to workout, and I’ve also struggled with finding a type of workout that I truly enjoy. I’ve had little bursts of getting into a routine and doing one specific workout multiple times a week, but I always end up becoming bored of it and then losing motivation to work out altogether. 
      Then, a few months ago, I was inspired by the “Hot Girl Walk” trend on TikTok (if you haven’t seen it, it’s basically just putting on music that makes you feel confident, using the time to manifest for yourself, and walking a few miles) to invest in a good pair of walking shoes and a fanny pack and really commit. Now, every time I go for a walk, I come back to my apartment feeling so much better and like I did something great not only for my physical health but for my mental health as well. 

      So, what are the benefits of walking?
      According to Mayo Clinic, daily walking may help your general physical health because it can improve cardiovascular fitness, assist in maintaining a healthy weight, and strengthen your bones, muscles, and endurance.
      Regular walking has numerous mental health benefits as well: It can increase your energy levels, improve coordination, strengthen your immune system, and reduce stress. It can also improve your mood, cognition, memory, and sleep. I mean seriously, what’s not to love?
      Experts at the Mayo Clinic also say you should walk at least 30 minutes per day to truly enjoy all of the benefits of walking. You could also take it up a notch by adding weights or using the interval or incline features on a treadmill.

      Here’s how I do it:

      What’s in my headphones?
      When I first decided that I was really going to commit to getting the most out of my walks, I settled on either following the rules of the Hot Girl Walk and listening to music that helped boost my confidence or listening to a podcast. A podcast works really well because it motivates me to listen to at least one whole episode, ensuring that I walk for well over the 30-minute daily goal. 
      I haven’t tried a guided walking workout yet, but I’m very intrigued by them and definitely want to try it out. A lot of your favorite fitness apps offer them, and Apple Fitness+ even offers walking workouts narrated by celebrities (including Dolly Parton, Nick Jonas, Misty Copeland, and many more). 
      My favorite playlists and podcasts:

      Time and distance
      I don’t focus strictly on numbers; instead, I try to walk for as long as what makes me feel the best. I would say that I normally walk at least two or three miles, mostly because I genuinely enjoy it. If I’m listening to a podcast, my walks tend to be at least 45 minutes to an hour.
      At first, I just didn’t think I had enough time in the day to walk for very long, but the more I did it, the longer my walks became. I began to love walking new routes, finding new playlists, and catching up on my favorite podcasts while I walked. 

      How I fit it into my routine
      Incorporating regular exercise works best for me when I don’t force myself to stick to a particular schedule. I know that having a set routine works really well for some people, but I personally need the flexibility of just fitting it in whenever I can depending on the day. I often find that if I do try to stick to something specific (for example, getting up before work every day and working out), I tire myself out and feel defeated and less motivated when I miss a day. 
      Instead, I do whatever my day allows. Sometimes I do get up early and fit in a walk before work, sometimes I take a break from working from home and go for a walk during the day, and sometimes I don’t walk until dusk (I think sunset walks are underrated). I listen to my body, and because walking really does reduce my stress and anxiety levels, I take a walk when I feel like it’ll benefit me most. 
      It’s also important to note that I started walking regularly in early spring and live in Chicago, so the weather was unpredictable. If it’s raining or too cold, walking indoors on a treadmill is great too! I use those times to challenge myself with different incline levels and interval workouts.

      Why it works for me
      Although walking as a workout might give off old-lady-in-a-walking-club vibes, I genuinely think it has benefitted me more than any other exercise I’ve tried. Taking a long walk makes me feel less stressed, it boosts my energy and mood, clears my mind, and it actually burns a fair number of calories.
      I sometimes find it hard to actually get out the door (as I do with any workout), but once I return to my apartment, I feel 10 times better than when I left. I also enjoy the time to myself to think through big decisions or stress points in my life, practice gratitude, manifest positive changes for myself, and disconnect for a bit. Oh, and the people-and-dog-watching is always enjoyable. 
      I try to supplement my walks with other workouts as well when I can—such as strength training, pilates, or yoga—but as I mentioned, I don’t force myself to do anything in particular. I think the flexibility in this routine and my commitment to truly listen to my body has helped me actually enjoy exercising.
      So if you’re like me and have been struggling to find a workout that you enjoy, I challenge you to lace up those sneakers, put your headphones in, strap on a fanny pack, and start walking for at least 30 minutes per day. The benefits go far beyond just physical, so you might just find your new favorite activity. 

      Here are all of the products that have elevated my walking routine:

      Everywhere Belt Bag 1L
      This belt bag is so popular and for good reason. It fits everything you would need for a long walk, but it isn’t too bulky—plus it adds a little element of chic-ness to your walking outfit.
      14 colors available

      Dagne Dover
      Mara Phone Sling
      I love this bag for when I really don’t need to take much on my walk. It’s designed to fit your cell phone, and then it has card slots so you can carry just the essentials. It even has a chapstick loop, which I really appreciate.
      4 colors available

      Hoka One One
      Bondi 7 Sneaker
      After much deliberation, I decided to purchase these shoes a few months ago. They were an investment for me, but it has definitely paid off. Hoka One One sneakers are designed for running and walking, and this particular pair is ultra-cushioned and so comfortable. Is it crazy to say these literally motivate me to workout?
      10 colors available

      Myriad Walking Shoe
      If you need a more budget-friendly pair of walking sneakers, these are a great option. I’ve owned Ryka shoes in the past, and they treated me well. Plus, how cute is this colorway?

      New Balance
      Athletic Cushion Comfort Quarter Socks
      This might seem weird, but trust me on this: You need the right pair of socks for a long walk. I love these because they’re cushioned but don’t make my feet sweat, and the quarter-length prevents any rubbing from the back of a shoe.
      7 styles available

      Obé x Bala Bangles
      Ankle/Wrist Weighted Bangles
      If you really want to get the most out of a walking workout, ankle weights add that little extra something that takes it to the next level. Plus, I seriously can’t get over how cute these Obé x Bala Bangles are!

      Quay Australia
      PSA Square Sunglasses
      I bought these sunglasses at the beginning of the summer, and they’re seriously the only ones I’ve been wearing. They’re perfect for walks for two reasons: 1) They don’t get stuck in you hair when you put them on your head and 2) Nobody can see your eyes through them (meaning they’re perfect for people-watching).

      Silicone AirPods Case with Rosegold Keychain
      Not only is this AirPods case cute, I’ve found it extremely functional (and it helps you not mix up your AirPods with your roommate or partner’s). I previously owned a case without a keychain, but I found that I was wanting to be able to hook it to things. This is perfect for hooking to my belt bag.
      30+ colors available More

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      8 Easy Swaps I Made This Year To Become My Healthiest Self

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      For a long time, I viewed “healthy living” as unapproachable and intimidating, mostly because I felt so unbelievably far from achieving it. Up until a few months ago, I ate too much salt, went to bed super late, watched way too much TV, drank a lot of wine, and ordered McDonald’s chicken nuggets more times than I’d like to admit. Before I discovered attainable health swaps for my life, I felt like a bit of a failure in the wellness department.
      This year, I’ve put more focus on the small day-to-day choices that I make instead of becoming consumed and overwhelmed with drastic, unsustainable changes that derail me from even trying in the first place. For me, making healthy swaps for things I was already doing and eating was a great, welcoming approach for living my best life, and now, I swear by it. These eight healthier choices helped me transform the way I look at healthy living and have fueled my fire to keep this lifestyle going:

      1. Matcha instead of coffee
      Don’t get me wrong—I love my coffee and still drink it occasionally. But instead of viewing espresso as a vital necessity to life, I view it as more of a treat instead of a three-cups-a-day routine. After years of drinking almost a pot of coffee a day, I realized that it didn’t even keep me awake anymore, and I felt close to ill when I’d skip a cup. This is when I knew I needed a change. Now, I drink a teaspoon of matcha with vanilla oat milk almost every day, and I’m hooked. Not only does it give me a little bit of a caffeine buzz, but it’s also packed with antioxidants and other nutrients that actually make me feel good about drinking it. 

      2. Reading before bed instead of scrolling on my phone
      Before the last month, falling into a bottomless, deep, dark hole on TikTok or Instagram before bed was one of my most fatal flaws, and unfortunately, my most closely practiced ritual. While I didn’t completely give up scrolling through my phone, I do opt to read before bed instead of being sucked into the blue light blob. I find that reading three pages helps me wind down more quickly than I would spending an hour (or more) on TikTok and allows me to sleep at a more reasonable hour.

      3. Banza noodles instead of traditional pasta
      This is one of the easiest swaps I’ve incorporated into my meal prepping routine. If you aren’t already on the chickpea noodle train, this is your sign to hop aboard. I’ve been a pasta junkie my entire life (perks of growing up with an Italian grandmother), and while I never felt guilty for consuming it in mass amounts, I found that chickpea noodles (low carb, gluten-free, and high in protein) are just as good and so worth the healthy substitute. If I’m going to be eating pasta anyway, I might as well swap it with something that tastes just as great and is a bit healthier, right?

      4. Eating in instead of eating out
      OK, I’ll admit this is probably one of the more difficult “easy swaps” on this list. But I can finally say, now that I’m on the other side, it’s so much easier than I thought it would be. For years, I relied heavily on eating out and ordering on DoorDash, which typically left me feeling bloated, guilty, and—quite frankly—broke. 
      Two things that really helped me gain control over eating out were 1) finding a grocery schedule that worked for me and 2) recreating the meals I was craving in my own kitchen. That included mastering my favorite vodka pasta recipe, figuring out how to make my own Chick-fil-A sauce, and recreating my go-to Sweetgreen salad. From there, I realized that I can in fact cook, and beyond that, I could take the liberty of making healthier versions of some of my favorite meals to eat out. While I still do dine out, I now do it a lot less frequently, which has given me back some financial freedom, helps me make healthier choices at home, and allows me to cherish the times I eat out a bit more.

      Source: Colorjoy Stock

      5. Walks instead of binge-watching TV after dinner
      For a while, I was gridlocked into the routine of plopping down on the couch after cooking, eating, and cleaning up the disaster in my kitchen. Enter four-hour-long Netflix binge-watching sessions with intermittent naps that messed with my sleep schedule and took precedence over any night routine that would set me up for success the next day.
      Now, instead of giving in to the food coma, I engage in a light walk after dinner, which helps me beat the post-meal slump and allows me get some steps in toward the end of the day. Whether I walk and catch up with a friend or enjoy the solitude of a favorite-playlist-filled sunset walk, my post-dinner stroll has become one of my favorite self-care acts of the day.

      6. Dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate
      All of my life, I looked at dark chocolate with disdain because of its bitterness—I didn’t quite get the hype. But now that I’m older, wiser, and more aware of dark chocolate’s health benefits (antioxidant-packed, flavanol-filled, and more heart-healthy than milk chocolate), I gave it another go, hoping my taste buds had changed. To my surprise, I loved it. Now, I opt for dark over milk chocolate whenever I have the chance, and like my matcha vs. coffee switch, it’s an easy swap that makes me feel a lot better.

      7. A flexible activity schedule instead of a rigid workout schedule
      Before, I’d try to hop back on the workout train—lifting five days a week, sustaining injuries, losing motivation quickly—only to fall right back off of the boat. While I kept up with this yo-yo workout situation for quite some time, it’s not until this year that I finally took a step back to reevaluate my relationship with physical activity.
      I still lift weights here and there, but if I’m not able to go to the gym four to five days a week like I used to strive for, I don’t beat myself up over it. The reality is this: Life is busy. We get tired, we don’t have time, or we can’t coordinate our strict hair-washing schedule with a day of dripping sweat at the squat rack. And that’s OK. My new fitness goals focus on moving in any capacity, and I’ve found that taking a more flexible approach has made me more motivated and excited to get moving. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a yoga class, a HIIT session at the gym, or a 10-minute affair with my weighted hula hoop, I’ve found that listening to my body and keeping activity simple and fun has been a game-changer in keeping my activity levels more consistent.
       
      8. Hydrating before reaching for caffeine 
      The number of times in my lifetime that I’ve chugged two cups of coffee before even thinking about water is an absolute tragedy. This year, I’ve really prioritized hydrating, especially in the morning after a night of sleeping and hours of not taking sips of water. Starting my day off hydrated AF helps set the tone for the day and sets me up for success before reaching for my morning caffeine choice. 
      On the days where I focus on my water intake, I find that I have more energy to power through the mid-afternoon slump, have more stamina during my workouts, and am less prone to suffer from that late-afternoon headache and/or annoying right eye twitching. It’s not groundbreaking but, now that I’ve finally hopped on board, I totally get the hype.

      7 Things Every Woman Should Change for Better Health RN More

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      How to Actually Get the Most out of Your Workout, According to a Fitness Trainer

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      There are a lot (like, a lot) of fitness myths and exercise tips out there, but perhaps the one that tricks most people is the idea that the more time we spend working out, the more fit we’ll be. While it’s easy to think that gym rats have the advantage, the most strong, fit, and athletic people I know spend the least time at the gym. How? They’re intentional about how they spend their time, mindful about what to focus on, and they maximize the time they do spend exercising. If you want to get into the best shape of your life without spending an unnecessary chunk of time at the gym, here are six easy tips to get the most out of your workout. 

      1. Be specific with your goals and plan
      While fitness can be a great hobby and a fabulous social scene, getting in shape isn’t something that happens by accident. If you’re interested in accomplishing a goal or making lasting changes, it’s time to get intentional. Instead of taking random classes, aimlessly wandering the gym, or going for an open-ended jog, evaluate your goals and make a plan. For example, if you want to build muscle, commit to strength training three times a week and do cardio twice a week (And be specific about those workouts: dedicate one day to upper body, one day to lower body, and one day to core). If you want to run a marathon, do less boxing classes and start training. If you’ve always wanted to do pull-ups, dedicate strength training days to your upper body and get familiar with the pull-up assist at the gym. Specificity is key, and the more focused you are on what you want, the quicker you’ll achieve it.

      2. Focus on form
      You might be itching to grab those heavy weights to show the trainer/instructor/hot person in the squat rack how strong you are, but if the weight has you sacrificing your form, scale back. While the goal of strength training is to get stronger (duh!), good form should always be prioritized over heavy weights. If something doesn’t feel right, that means it’s probably not, so drop down in weights to ensure that you’re staying safe. My golden rule? If you’re increasing weights, don’t increase more than five pounds on dumbbells or 10 percent weight on barbells.

      3. Write it down
      Recording the exercises you did, the weights you used, and the way you felt might seem tedious, but keeping tabs on your performance is the best way to improve. If you’ve been using 15-pound dumbbells for the past year, try going up to 20-pound dumbbells and see how it feels. Write down what exercises you did, how many reps you completed, and how challenging it was. Then, the next time you do that same exercise, refer back to your notes and choose a weight or exercise that will both make sense and challenge you. Knowing what you’re doing (and when it’s time increase or adjust) is key to understanding your strengths and weaknesses. Recording your workouts is also beneficial for seeing progress and knowing when it’s time to celebrate new personal records (because celebrating is important too!). 

      4. Prioritize recovery
      No athlete gets by without recovering just as hard as they work, so make sure you schedule days to rest, stretch, and give your body a break. Whether you take the same day(s) off each week, choose rest days based on your schedule, or wait for your body to tell you when it needs a break, make sure you don’t work out more than six days a week (at most). While going hard every day might seem like the right way to achieve your goals faster, putting too much stress on the body without any time for recovery can cause injuries, overtraining syndrome, and deep fatigue that will derail your training. Listen to your body, chill out, and take breaks for optimal results.

      5. Be consistent
      Consistency is key. Rest days are certainly a valuable part of getting in shape, but working out occasionally or whenever you’re “in the mood” will not be enough to help you accomplish goals. Doing something, even on days when you’re tired, grumpy, or simply don’t feel like it, is better than doing nothing, and it will help you keep your routine. Staying consistent turns exercise into a habit, and an ingrained habit makes the difference between long-term success and failure. My best advice: Schedule your workouts like you schedule meetings, appointments, and hot dates. If you really don’t want to work out or don’t have time for a full 60-minute class, take a walk or do a yoga flow.

      6. Implement a fitness test
      Nothing is more motivating than seeing your hard work pay off, so schedule a fitness test every four weeks to keep track of where you’re improving and what you want to continue working on. A fitness test can be as simple as counting how many burpees you can do in a minute, how fast you can run a mile, or anything that allows you to see changes from month to month. Don’t think of these fitness tests as a final exam but rather as a road map for how far you’ve come and where you want to go (“Wow! I decreased my mile time by 10 seconds!” or “Looks like my mile time stayed the same, so I should schedule more speed work into my training next month.”). Knowing what has improved and what you still want to improve on will help you stay on track with your training and keep you aware of what you should focus on in order to reach your goals. More

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      The Affordable Amazon Bike Shorts Our Fashion Editor Swears By

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      When a new season rolls around and new trends start to pop up, I’m usually excited to try around 80 percent of them. But the other 20 percent? I avoid them like the plague and curse the day they dared started showing up on anyone’s radar—and at the tippity top of that list used to have “bike shorts” written with red underline.
      Two years ago, bike shorts were synonymous with the rise of the “Insta baddie” and felt like the least wearable concept in the world to me. Even last summer after investing in a couple of pairs, I found myself never reaching for them because they just didn’t feel right—no matter what I did or what I paired them with, they just didn’t look flattering. Lo and behold, all it took was a glorious pair of Amazon bike shorts to completely change my mind.
      After seeing an endless stream of bike short inspiration pictures on my Instagram feed, I realized what my problem might be: all of the bike shorts I was wearing were just too long. The seven-inch, standard inseam hugged my short thighs in all the wrong ways, and I needed a version that was a couple of inches shorter if I stood a chance at pulling off the summer version of leggings so many swear by. The problem? All of the pairs that the people I followed swear by cost upward of $60, something I simply wasn’t willing to shell out on a piece that was still such a gamble.
      In a stroke of genius, a thought hit me: maybe the Amazon company that made my all-time favorite leggings also sold bike shorts in the same buttery-soft material. And to my luck, they did, and in the six-inch inseam I had been hoping for—and at less than $20, it was an immediate purchase.
      Fresh out of the package, I knew I was in for a treat because the shorts were in fact the same material as my beloved Lululemon dupe leggings. They’re just the right thickness and the softness of pairs that usually cost four times the price. When I put them on, I knew I had found exactly what I was looking for: they hit me at a part of my leg that felt infinitely more flattering, and the material wasn’t too compressing. 

      I styled them in the most comfortable and basic of ways, with oversized tees and sweatshirts, and it’s become my everyday, work-from-home uniform. I feel cool and laid-back and slightly more put-together than I do in my go-to running shorts, and I’ve completely fallen in love with them. I ended up ordering—and this is not an exaggeration—four more pairs so I had more options throughout the week. 
      I try to designate certain clothes for working out versus lounging, so I dedicated two pairs specifically to my workouts, and they performed great for that too. They didn’t slip or slide whatsoever and kept up with both running and HIIT workouts. 

      Of all of the pieces I’ve found on Amazon this year, these are the ones I’d rank as #1.
      I’ve never felt the need to buy anything in so many colors in my life, but I still find that every time I go to do my laundry, I’ve gone through every pair. If I’m not at the office, I’m wearing these, and I know I’m going to be grateful for them all summer long. Trust me: you can skip the cult-favorite investments and go for these instead.

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      Start Today: Everything You Need to Know About Weight Training

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      Wellness comes in many iterations with endless interpretations, and that makes the possibility of discovering a fitness regimen that works specifically for you and your lifestyle all the more possible! In the interest of examining every possible option to improve physical health, I would like to make the case for weight training as the perfect exercise for all of you busy, powerful women out there that are interested in factoring a new workout into your lives.
      Full disclosure: I don’t mean bodyweight strength training. I mean building up to use a barbell, free weights, and kettlebells. That’s right, I’m talking about dominating that section of the gym where all the dudes stand in front of mirrors acting like they know what they’re doing, busting out biceps curls. Strength training is one of the most rewarding skills one can master with just a few simple and extremely functional movements. If you would like to get started with weightlifting or have already started working on some movements, keep these tips in mind throughout every stage of your journey:

      You Won’t Bulk Up (Unless You Want To)
      One of the great things about strength training is its choose-your-own-adventure methodology. It’s a very common belief that you’ll start bulking up the minute you so much as look at a set of dumbbells. But here’s the thing: that’s simply not true. It requires a massive amount of time, effort, and intention to bulk up. If you don’t want to take my word for it, we polled a handful of experts and the common thread between all of their replies was this: most women don’t have anywhere near enough testosterone to bulk up the way men do.
      The benefits of strength training are so much more than this myth. Shelley Armstrong, Ph.D., MAT, MCHES, laid it all out for us: “Lifting weights two to three times per week is extremely beneficial for women to reduce their risk of osteoporosis by promoting bone health. Between the ages of 30 and 70, muscle mass and strength decrease by an average of 30%, mostly due to inactivity. Weight training can prevent or even reverse this process and, in turn, provides the following benefits: improved performance of physical activities, prevention and management of chronic diseases, improved joint health, prevention and treatment of low-back pain, injury prevention, relief of aches and pains from stress or after prolonged sitting, improved posture, and improved quality of sleep.”

      Repetition is Key
      If you have never tried any basic strength training movements, odds are your first attempt at even the most basic movement will not be perfect — and that’s OK! In fact, it’s wonderful because your muscle memory will only build relative to the frequency of your training. The more you pick up a weight, the more familiar with the movement your muscles will become. Think about your favorite beauty tool. When you first bought it, there was a period of time in which you probably weren’t using it as seamlessly as you did after you conducted a little bit of research and practiced with it each morning. Before you knew it, that practice turned that tool into an integral part of your beauty regimen.
      Practicing weightlifting movements is very similar. At first, it will feel foreign and strange. But after a few weeks of repeating movements consistently, the muscle memory will develop. Trying using a PVC pipe or a training barbell to begin and practice in the mirror until the movement feels like second nature and a seasoned eye confirms that the movements look correct. Practicing with a PVC pipe or a light barbell will simulate the real thing for your muscles and teach you the correct way to grip and move around the bar. All it takes is 5 or 10 minutes of repetitive, concentrated work and before you know it, those movements that felt so foreign to you will start to make sense and you’ll see significant jumps in your strength when the time comes to load up the bar.

      Source: @pure_barre

      Go for the Real Thing
      Don’t be afraid to skip weight machines with cables and tracks. While a lot of these machines are very useful for isolated exercises, it can be difficult to get a full-body workout and genuinely build strength. Not to mention, working with free weights or the barbell will allow you to apply your strength training directly to your everyday life, almost immediately, and teach you to lift heavy objects without running a risk of injuring yourself.
      Free weights, like dumbbells or a barbell, work more than one muscle at a time. For example, using a Smith Machine for bench press will not activate your core and lats like dumbbells or a barbell will due to the fact that the barbell in a Smith Machine is on a guided track. You can work up to a heavy press with a Smith Machine, of course, but the barbell is so isolated that you lose the benefits of having to stabilize the weight on your own with additional muscles. So when in doubt, reach for free weights. If you concentrate and are conscious about the muscles you’re working on, you’ll be sore in places you didn’t even know were there!

      It Requires a Full Effort
      Approaching weight training with an open mindset and conviction is key to achieving strength training greatness. Weight lifting is a skill that requires genuine time and patience to build correctly. It also requires you to pay attention to what your body is telling you, like when to back off and when to push yourself. In weeks when you need to take it slow (or even add more rest days), lower your weights and focus on technique. When your energy levels are up, don’t be afraid to push yourself and break personal records.
      Full effort not only pertains to the approach—but also applies to consistency. The American Heart Association recommends incorporating strength training into a workout regimen at least twice a week, and this is great as a starting point. If strength training is something you want to work on, keep a consistent schedule and get into the gym (or pick up your at-home weights) a couple of times a week. This will work wonders for gaining knowledge, developing the skill, and seeing results.

      You’ll Feel the Benefits Beyond the Gym
      At a certain point, when you’ve been training consistently and mindfully, the benefits of weightlifting will start to become apparent to you beyond what you’re able to accomplish in the gym. You’ll find you’re less winded after climbing a flight of never-ending stairs and heavy luggage will be no match for your strong back and shoulders. Not to mention, an arduous task like moving into a new place will not seem as strenuous once you’re able to apply your functional movement knowledge to that dreaded of all dreaded tasks: lifting boxes. It’s also extremely important to note that strength training is great for cardiovascular health and strengthening muscles to help prevent injury, and can also improve your mental health!

      Source: @hannahbronfman

      Start With These 3 Basic Movements
      There are three simple movements anyone can start with to build an understanding of weightlifting and strength training: deadlift, squat, and push press. These three movements cover the core, functional movements of strength training and will be a great way to establish a foundation to eventually introduce more complex movements into your repertoire.

      Deadlift

      A deadlift is a very simple, functional movement in which the barbell is lifted from the ground at the lifter’s shins, up to hip height, and then returned to the ground. This movement is great for building strength and athleticism and introduces the lifter to the essential motion of hinging at the hip. Deadlift will strengthen your core, hamstrings, and back and can be mastered with either the barbell or dumbbells. It’s a very simple movement without many complex components and will give any beginning lifter a great introduction to strength training.

      Squat

      The squat is fantastic for building core and leg strength. With feet slightly wider than hip-width apart and turned slightly outward, place the bar at the top of your back and narrow your grip to sit slightly outside of your shoulders to engage your back. Once you’ve adjusted the placement of the bar, engage your core, squeeze your glutes, and lower slowly and controlled until your quads are parallel with the floor. Then raise up in a controlled way, squeezing your glutes at the top.

      Push Press

      The push press is another great movement for beginners to learn because like the deadlift, it incorporates another fundamental motion to weightlifting: explosive hips. With feet shoulder-width apart and the barbell or dumbells at your chest with your elbows pointing forward, bend your knees slightly and drop into a quarter squat. As you press into your heels and drive up through your legs, push the bar over your head and lock your elbows. This movement will introduce you to the explosive hip movement that is key to mastering more complex lifts and will build your shoulder and core strength.

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      We Asked Experts if Aphrodisiacs Actually Work

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      “How can I improve my sex drive?” is the question heard around the world and frequented on Google searches. One of the most common answers is, of course, the mystical “aphrodisiac.” It’s like we’re all having sex life FOMO, thinking there’s some pill we can take or food we can eat to achieve that “mind-blowing sex” we all hear so much about. As a nutrition nerd myself, I have a lot of questions about whether or not food can truly boost libido—basically, I want to know if we should be buying oysters and dark chocolate in bulk. Since there’s so much controversy over the topic, I grilled sex and nutrition experts to find out what aphrodisiacs really are and if they work. Spoiler alert: The answer might surprise you. And on that cliff hanger, read on for my deep dive into aphrodisiacs and a few key takeaways that can help you improve your sex drive. 

      What really are “aphrodisiacs?”
      So you’ve heard the word before, but who came up with the idea that food can help you have more (and better) sex? Turns out, aphrodisiacs have a long history and are certainly nothing new. Herbs and spices (like basil, mint, and cinnamon) were used in ancient and medieval times as “love potions,” and legend has it that Aztec ruler Montezuma II drank more than 50 cups of chocolate before “entertaining a woman” (sign me up for the chocolate—no entertaining necessary!). Plus, the word itself comes from Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty. Many cultures around the world have a long history of using foods and concoctions to enhance sexual desire.
      Beyond the ancient legends, aphrodisiacs have been talked about in recent history as a supplement or food that can help boost desire, drive, or pleasure. “Aphrodisiacs refer to substances such as food, drinks, drugs, or medications we put into our bodies with the goal of facilitating sexual arousal and desire,” explained Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a research fellow at The Kinsey Institute. Aphrodisiacs have been used to describe foods that are pleasurable and therefore stimulate other pleasure in the body (like chocolate), ingredients that ignite the senses (like spices and herbs), or foods that are said to contain nutrients that actually spark or increase arousal (like oysters). So is there any truth to the ideology that’s been around for thousands of years?

      Source: We Vibe | Unsplash

      Do aphrodisiacs work?
      The short answer: maybe, maybe not. Of the experts I talked to, most agreed that there is not enough evidence to back up the fact that figs can turn you on or strawberries can help you have a better orgasm (sorry room service, but we’ll still take the champagne!). “There is little scientific research to support that aphrodisiacs benefit an individual’s sex life,” said Dr. Azza Halim, a board-certified anesthesiologist and physician. “There’s a lot of debate about whether aphrodisiacs actually work as intended,” Lehmiller agreed. “The evidence is scarce and more research is needed. The data we have suggests that some aphrodisiacs don’t work at all, others do, and others only work due to placebo effect.” In other words, stay tuned. More research needs to be done on if foods can have a libido-boosting effect, and the research so far is not enough to confirm or deny. 
      But what I found really interesting was that many experts focused not only on if aphrodisiacs work but also why we’re looking to aphrodisiacs in the first place. After all, libido is a vital sign—a low sex drive could be the body’s way of communicating that it needs something. Therefore, the question is not just how can we improve our sex drive, but why is our sex drive lacking in the first place? Dr. Halim recommends always speaking to a medical professional if you’re experiencing low sex drive, since it can be caused by a multitude of factors like medications, poor body image, hormonal changes, and stress.
      “Several aspects of a woman’s life may have an impact on her sexual desire,” agreed Dr. Tara Thompson PharmD, a pharmacist, medical advisor, and sexual health educator. “Menstrual cycles, hormonal contraception, breastfeeding, perimenopausal, and postmenopausal states can send the libido packing. Lifestyle changes, psychological difficulties, relationship problems, and switching or discontinuing medications may also keep sexual feelings at bay.” Sure, the idea of aphrodisiacs sounds sexy and alluring, but think about it: We shouldn’t need to improve our sex drive if it’s healthy in the first place. “Aphrodisiacs are not a quick fix or instant solution to low sex drive,” confirmed Lovneet Batra, a celebrity nutritionist and author. Bottom line: We don’t know much about whether or not foods can truly boost desire, arousal, and pleasure, but we do know that low levels or lack of desire, arousal, and pleasure should be treated at the root rather than opting for a “boost.”
      So with the lack of research around aphrodisiacs and the focus of treating the root cause of a low libido, it may not be the best idea to buy asparagus or cinnamon in the name of having an orgasm. However, experts agree that there are lessons we can take from aphrodisiacs that can help you make the most of and tap into the sex drive you already have (after you talk to your doctor if you’re experiencing low libido, of course). Below are some of the things I learned from talking to experts about aphrodisiacs that might actually help your sex life. 

      Source: Christina Rumpf | Unsplash

      5 ways to make “aphrodisiacs” work for you:

      1. Personalize and define your own aphrodisiacs
      We can redefine the word to be less about “oysters contain zinc which boosts blood flow to genitalia” or “chocolate turns on pleasure signals in the brain” as we’ve typically talked about aphrodisiacs and turn it into what makes you turned on instead. Sex doesn’t always have to be so scientific—it can be (and should be) as simple as what feels good to you. “Aphrodisiacs can be less generalized and more customized to the individual, based on their past experiences and psychology,” suggested Dr. Jared Heathman MD, a Houston-based psychiatrist. “A meal prepared like the food at someone’s wedding reception can stimulate subconscious thoughts and emotions that put someone in a pleasurable mood.”
      Think about what tastes and scents are pleasurable to you or spark a pleasurable memory. Maybe a glass of red wine tastes (and smells!) decadent, or a tropical fruit like papaya and mango remind you of that steamy vacay you took with your significant other when you were first dating. Basically, use your senses more regularly and indulge in the things that bring you pleasure, and your sex life will follow suit. 

      2. Eat an overall healthy diet for a healthy libido
      So here’s the good news if aphrodisiacs are still alluring to you: It can’t hurt to incorporate foods considered “aphrodisiacs” like pomegranates, dark chocolate, watermelon, and artichokes into your diet. Whether or not they boost sex drive, they’re still good for you. But technically, any whole foods like fruits and veggies can be good for the libido since a healthy libido is a sign of a healthy body. “Any food that increases your health in general can help with sex drive,” explained Dr. Carol Queen PhD, Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations. “Your diet plays a large role in your sex drive,” agreed Heather Hanks MS, a nutritionist based in Michigan. “Eating a diet high in anti-inflammatory foods (such as fruits and vegetables) can help regulate hormones and reduce inflammatory symptoms and conditions that may reduce sex drive.” In the end, any foods that are good for you are good for your libido too. 

      3. Focus on the nutrients
      Another interesting thing I learned is that oysters or chocolate are not magical foods put on this earth to make you horny (sorry ’bout it!). Instead, certain foods are considered aphrodisiacs only because of the vitamins and nutrients they contain. “Honey is known as an aphrodisiac because of its high content of vitamin B, which is essential for the secretion of testosterone. Oysters are a clichéd aphrodisiac because they contain zinc, which is necessary for the production of testosterone in men and prolactin in women,” explained Candela Valle, resident nutritionist for MYHIXEL. 
      “Bananas have a high level of B-vitamins and potassium, and pomegranate is rich in Omega-5s and antioxidants that are good for hormonal balance,” Batra added. Why does this matter for your libido? Because knowing that it’s the nutrients rather than just magical superfoods tell us that an overall healthy diet with a variety of fruits and veggies will give you the needed amount of antioxidants and nutrients to keep your sex drive healthy. The “aphrodisiac effect” actually comes from healthy levels of vitamins and minerals, not from specific foods. If you’re lacking or deficient in any of these, talk to your doctor about supplementing or changing up your diet rather than loading up on one food. 

      Source: Charisse Kenion | Unsplash

      4. Be aware of the power of the mind
      Let me rant about the concept of the “placebo effect” for a sec. “Placebo” has gotten a bad rep these days. We use the word when referring to being tricked into shelling out $$$ on trendy wellness supplements, to define the “sugar pill weeks” in a birth control pack, and to explain why we feel better after only one Advil (everybody knows taking one Advil is like having just one bite of cake: It does nothing). We also use it when questioning if aphrodisiacs truly work or if they’re “just placebo.” But I don’t see placebo as meaning failure; it’s actually proof of how powerful the mind is. In other words, if you eat spicy food and have passionate sex afterwards, does it really matter if it’s physical or psychological? To be frank, what matters is that you had passionate sex. 
      “The power of belief is strong, so if you take something you think is an aphrodisiac and you believe it will affect you a certain way, it just might.” Dr. Lehmiller agreed. Essentially, if you something (whether it’s a food, outfit, or playlist) makes you feel more sensual, who cares why? I say screw the science and lean into whatever makes you feel good. 

      5. Be intentional about habits and rituals (they can have an “aphrodisiac” effect too!)
      It’s time we stop defining “aphrodisiacs” as just food and supplements and instead start looking at how habits and rituals can increase our sex drive too. “Certain healthy habits can not only affect your mood, but can also be advantageous to regulate sexual activity,” Valle said. In short, anything that makes you feel happy and good is also doing something for your sex life. For example, regular exercise, actively managing stress, getting regular check-ups with your doctor, and prioritizing self-care are all habits we know can improve libido, simply because they work to treat or prevent common causes of low libido like stress, feeling disconnected from relationships, or chronic symptoms in the body.
      I’ve learned a lot from the many different opinions from various experts, and I think the bottom line is this: A healthy sex life is actually not a mysterious legend we constantly have to be searching for. It’s truly as simple as taking care of our bodies and leaning into what feels good for each of us. Whether or not dark chocolate and red wine are part of that is completely up to you. More