health and weelbeing

Subterms

    More stories

    • 125 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      5 Reasons Why Your Career Does Not Define Your Identity

      by

      For as long as I can remember, I’ve always associated my self-worth in conjunction with my job. Whether it was because of how our society views certain positions or because of my pride, I made sure to work hard enough to get a job that I (and my mom) would be proud to identify with. To say “I work for [employer]…” or “I am a [job title]…” made my heart fill with excitement. So when I finally accepted my dream position that was far from the involvement of serving tables, I felt like I earned the right to let those words slip off my tongue to show the world that I did, I made it. But even when my dream scenario came to fruition, I eventually realized that I was no longer in love with the job, which thus resulted in a life-changing moment.
      I was eventually let go from the company that I was only holding onto because of its status. While I felt burnt out and lacked the enthusiasm to work for them, I didn’t listen to my gut and decided to hold onto the position because I loved how I felt accepted by others when I’d mention my position in conversations. It was an addiction I wasn’t willing to let go. I felt like my identity was closely tied to this job, and if I’d lose it, then I was a nobody and I would have no proof of all my hard work. However, when I was let go, a new high took over: relief. While one part of me wanted to hold on to something that wasn’t making me happy for prideful reasons, a weight was lifted off my shoulders because I was finally following my truth.
      For most people, this experience would tear them apart: if they’re let go from a job, it means they’re incompetent and their self-worth has taken a nosedive into the pools of hell (yes, I’m being dramatic). However, while it did hurt a little to receive the news, I was more hurt that I didn’t initially follow my heart and, instead, allowed someone else to control my fate. I soon realized that my self-worth isn’t defined by a nice-sounding job, it’s defined by my values, my truth, and what happens beyond the typical nine-to-five timeframe. Yes, it was nice to be associated with a well-known company and, not going to lie, sometimes I miss that “accepted” feeling. But deep down I know that my career doesn’t define my identity, because the only approval I need is my own.
      If you can relate to any of this, here are five reasons why you shouldn’t define yourself by your career or job — because, honestly, your self-love is totally worth way more than that paycheck or job title. 

      1. Because having a well-known job isn’t your only success.
      Working for a renowned company does look good on your resume, but it’s not the only thing that you should consider to be successful. Success can be rarely measured by someone’s job or wealth. The true definition of success derives from the ability to do something that you truly love, to be able to care for others, to overcome your greatest fears, or to find blissful happiness. One person’s definition of success could look completely different than someone else’s. And that’s totally okay. Because in the end, you should always aim to be yourself and not replicate what you believe to be considered successful just because of someone else’s journey.

      2. Because your truths and values are the only things you should be defined by.
      Wouldn’t it be lovely to not be judged based on your profession? Immediately when we meet someone new, we want to know their name and what they do for a living. Why? Isn’t there another way to define a person? Yes, it’s great to know what they’re passionate about, but shouldn’t we just ask them that upfront?
      Your identity should be defined by what you love, what you dream of, what you value, and who you cherish. Think about it: Your true friends and family don’t care about what kind of job you have or how much you make. All they care about is your happiness. Treat yourself as you would want your friends to treat you, because you should value your happiness before any job, paycheck, or boss. Period.

      3. Because most jobs are a temporary state and can change at any moment.
      While life is known to be filled with uncertainty, most of us believe we have complete control over our circumstances. Today you may identify yourself as a hardworking architect, but four years from now, you may want to be a dairy farmer, milking cows for a living. You just never know what kind of experiences you may go through and how they’ll change you. Essentially, nothing is permanent. Life is full of surprises, and there are more things that make an impact in your life than your career.

      4. Because this is something you do and not something you are.
      Whether you work as a cashier for a store or as an illustrator for an advertising company, these are things you do — they don’t define you as a person. There are plenty of ways to identify yourself, especially if you’re not in love with your job. For instance, in addition to your career, you could also be known as a mother, a lover of puppies, a video game enthusiast — anything you admire or hold value to is a part of you and your identity. At the end of the day, you should be known for the things you love to do and be, not for the type of positions you’ve held.

      5. Because other people won’t remember you by the job you have, but by how you make them feel.
      How you decide to treat others and express yourself is glued to your identity way more than your jobs ever will be. When other people talk or think about you, the thought of your career might come up, but your personality and character will resonate with them more. You’re on this earth for so many other reasons aside from having a job. Maybe you’re meant to help someone else through their own journey, or to make a difference in your town and inspire others to do the same. You’re doing yourself an injustice if you only identify yourself by your career. Try to open your world and help others to do the same. The more we realize we’re more than our jobs, the happier we all may be.

      Quarter Life Crisis or Comparison Trap? What to Remember When You Feel Lost More

    • 188 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      I’m a Fitness Trainer, and Here’s Why Rest Days are Crucial for Your Workout Routine

      by

      For many of us, rest days are like the forbidden fruit of fitness: something deviously tempting that we have been conditioned to avoid in order to protect our perfect routine, hit our goals, or stay on track. But just because “rest” is a four letter word doesn’t mean it’s something to be ashamed of.  In fact, as a fitness trainer and an athlete, I’ve found that weekly (or twice-weekly) rest days are one of the most effective ways that we improve our performance, fitness level, and relationship with exercise. So before you head out for that run, yoga class class, or gym session, check out why staying home today might be the better option.

      1. Rest days improve your performance
      When you work out, you’re essentially putting your body through stress and creating tiny, microscopic tears in your muscles so that they can repair themselves and be more difficult to tear next time (also known as becoming stronger.) However, if you don’t give those muscles the time they need to repair, you’ll just be creating more and more tears, which can lead to injury and poor performance. While not everyone is trying to be a competitive athlete, if you’re experiencing poor performance, you’ll also be experiencing diminishing returns on your efforts, meaning you will be getting less and less out of each workout. If you want to get the most bang for your buck, take a rest day and make sure that your body is ready to work to its fullest potential when you get back to it. 

      2. Rest days give you an opportunity to care for and nourish your body
      Foam rolling, stretching, yoga, meditation, walking through nature, meal prepping–these are all things that contribute to your health and fitness that often fall by the wayside when you don’t have the time to prioritize them. By scheduling one or two rest days each week, you give yourself the time to soothe and stretch tired muscles, focus on your mental health, prepare healthy food, and work on all of the other components of health and fitness. Many other factors besides exercise play an important role in keeping you fit, so give them the time that they deserve.  

      3. Rest days keep you excited about your workouts
      When they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, I’m pretty sure they’re talking about absence from your favorite instructor. Fitness is a lifestyle component, which means that there’s no finish line or end point: it’s something to keep as part of your regular routine for your entire life. But just like any healthy relationship, space is good and very necessary. By taking a rest day, you’re allowing yourself a little time to appreciate that class, that trainer, or that part of your day. Taking a break every now and then will help you avoid burnout and pre-workout dread. 

      4. Rest days improve sleep quality
      Of all the things you need in your life–good friends, SPF moisturizer, how-to videos on TikTok–there’s simply nothing you need more than a good night’s sleep (especially when it comes to athletic performance, getting the most out of your workouts, and recovering well).  When you exercise, your body produces hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. In reasonable amounts, these hormones are great, but when you overdo it (AKA no rest days), your body overproduces them, and too much adrenaline and cortisol can lead to lack of (or poor) sleep. If you’ve been reaching for that 2 p.m. coffee or donut just to make it through the rest of the day, it might be time to give your adrenal glands a break and enjoy a rest day from your favorite workout. Try meditating, going for a walk, stretching, or spending the extra time pampering yourself.

      5. Rest days give you time to be a well-rounded person
      Working out is an excellent hobby, stress-reliever, and lifestyle component, but if your routine has started to get in the way of other parts of your life, it might be time to take a well-planned rest day in order to catch up on what else life has to offer.  While your body and sore muscles might dictate when you take a day off, there are plenty of opportunities to schedule your rest days around vacations, parties, events, and other things you don’t want to miss as well. Taking a guilt-free rest day to explore hobbies, passions, and relationships is an important part of life, and it will only make you a happier, more multifaceted person.  
      If you’re worried that stepping away from your workout routine is going to sabotage your efforts, fear not: rest days are an incredibly important part of your physical, mental and emotional health.  By taking at least one day off per week, you’ll allow your body time to reap the benefits of your workouts, avoid gym burnout, and improve other areas of your life.  Let’s normalize taking the day off when we’re tired, sore, or simply need a margarita:  it will only make us better in the long run.

      8 Subtle Signs Your Sleep Routine Needs a Major Overhaul More

    • 175 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      So You’ve Decided To Quit Your Job—Here’s How To Do It Like a Pro

      by

      There’s nothing like some good old-fashioned anxiety when you have to confront someone about something. It only gets worse when that “someone” is your boss and that “something” is quitting your job. 
      I don’t blame you—it isn’t fun. Maybe you’ve never done it before, maybe you’re leaving after a short amount of time, maybe you have no clue how to leave on a positive note when you hate everyone and everything about your job… the list goes on. The good news is, you have this amazing chapter of your life ahead of you to look forward to, and you are in control of this situation. So with your head held high, embrace this position, and let your team witness your professional beauty and grace.
      With some help from the experts, I’ve found that there’s a simple and effective formula to go about this process smoothly in a way to make everyone happy. Here are my tips on how to quit your job so professionally and artfully that you’d consider adding it as a skill to your resume.

      At what point should I notify my manager? 
      We’ve all heard about the famous “two weeks notice” (no, not the Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant movie—we’re not trying to replicate that situation here). Two weeks is generally an ample amount of time to begin a transition period for many employees shifting out of their current roles. 
      However, it doesn’t hurt to give an earlier notice (of maybe three to four weeks instead), especially if your role is more senior with higher-level duties that need some extra time to hand over to others. It’s also important that you don’t notify your boss too far in advance—you don’t want to awkwardly linger and waste anyone’s time (including your own!).

      What’s the best way to tell my manager “I want to quit?”
      Most HR professionals agree that a face-to-face meeting is the best way to go in this scenario. Krystal Yates, an HR consultant turned career coach, advised that this in-person conversation is the best route, but things (like geographic restrictions) can often come in the way of that. “If in-person isn’t an option, a phone call is the next best way,” Yates said. “A written resignation should be a last resort and used as the primary form of resignation only if all other avenues are unavailable.”
      It is important to note that if there is serious negative history between you and your manager, it is OK to take this conversation to their superior or an HR representative.
      Aside from being professionally courteous, a formal letter is needed for HR. Jodi RR Smith, a nationally recognized etiquette consultant said, “A resignation letter needs only three pieces of information: 1. Your last day. 2. Contact email, address, and phone number. 3. Your signature.” Keep it short and sweet!

      So how do I approach this conversation?
      You’ve set up that meeting with your boss and now are biting your nails in anticipation of having to have this conversation. You might be overcome with anxiety (if you’re anything like me and hate confrontation in any shape or form), but I’ll have you know that there is a simple, pain-free way to go about this.
      The first thing to remember is to keep your emotions at bay. Yes, you might have some grudges, and yes, you might want to burst out in tears—but remember that this conversation will be the beginning of the end to this part of your life, and there are far better things to come. “As an employee, come in prepared with what you’re going to say and be confident in your decision,” Natalie Morgan, the director of HR at CareerPlug, said. There are undoubtedly going to be emotions on both sides of the table, and staying calm and collected is essential.
      Smith emphasized that it’s super important to keep your wits about you. She said to make sure you “don’t yell at anyone, destroy company property, or disparage the organization to the media or to the clients,” since what you ultimately do reflects on you. Though these all sound like common sense, sometimes our emotions can get the best of us, so it’s important to try to keep ourselves a few steps ahead of them.

      Source: rodnae productions | pexels

      Should I tell my boss why I’m leaving?
      While you don’t want to say too much, you also don’t want to leave your manager questioning the reason for your departure. Morgan noted that “a resignation conversation isn’t a time to present a laundry list of grievances, but [most managers] do expect to know a general reason. You’ve gotten an opportunity at your dream job. Your role has changed and no longer feels in line with your career goals. You want to move into a new industry. You didn’t feel you were a good fit with the company culture and vision.” Again, the key is to keep it brief, honest, and professional.
      Many companies offer an exit interview, and those situations are great for voicing more candid feedback.

      How should I involve my team and coworkers in this? 
      Oftentimes, we become best friends with some of our coworkers (à la Lorelai and Sookie) and want to tell them about everything first. This is understandable, since many of us feel like we have that one trusted confidant, but it’s important to still be cautious when dealing with something big like this. 
      Adam Calli, an HR consultant and founder of Arc Human Capital, noted that things can and do go wrong. It’s important to not divulge too much information about your upcoming resignation to your coworkers (especially while you are still waiting to finalize an offer from your new company), since people can often let details accidentally slip up in work gossip. Trust me, that’s not the way you want your boss finding out you’re quitting.
      “Be patient and keep it to yourself,” Calli added. “You can tell them as soon as you give your official notice to your company, even if that means walking from your boss’s office directly to your friends’ desks!”
      Once the information is out in the open with everyone, it’s important to show your gratitude for your managers, coworkers, and team as a whole. Maybe these were some of your favorite people—maybe not. But, remember that the way you end your time in this role is what everyone is going to recall the most. It’s truly a small world out there! With the internet and social media, you don’t who will keep in touch, stay connected, and keep tabs on you and when, how, and where you might run into someone! 

      What will those last couple weeks look like?
      Ideally, your manager will inform the rest of your team about you leaving shortly after you hand in your notice. This will begin your transition period. Your coworkers might have a hard time with your departure emotionally because they’ll miss you, or professionally because they’re taking on your workload—so it’s in everyone’s best interest to keep this process as smooth as possible. 
      “Wrap up projects, communicate what is still outstanding, and offer suggestions for coverage if appropriate. It’s ultimately your manager’s and the company’s responsibility to make a plan here, but act in good faith and get the ball rolling where you can,” Morgan advised. The golden rule, of course, is to treat everyone how you would hope to be treated—if it were you taking on your former role, wouldn’t you want things to be in place and be squeaky clean? 
      When your last day of work arrives, treat it as a checklist you need to mark things off of:

      Clean out your desk (disinfectant wipes and all!).
      Make sure you have turned in any company devices.
      Make rounds to talk to all the people you’ve worked with, and thank them for their help.
      Meet with your manager one last time to say your final goodbyes and express gratitude.
      Attend your exit interview (if there is one scheduled).
      Start connecting with your now-former coworkers on LinkedIn!

      When is a good time to ask for a reference?
      It can be an awkward situation wanting to leave your job, but then also wanting your boss to write down nice things about you for future jobs. Honestly though, so many people leave their positions every day and want a reference or letter or recommendation—it’s completely fair! You worked hard and most definitely deserve to be recognized for that, and should be able to show future employers how great of a catch you are. But as always, it’s all about the timing.
      Morgan recommended saving asking for a reference until your last day, either during an exit interview or your final meeting with your manager. Make sure you communicate your gratitude for this position and opportunities you’ve received, and reiterate what you’ve learned from them. This way, you’ll be parting on good terms, and it’s going to feel easier to ask if they’d be open to writing a letter of recommendation or being a reference for you in the future. 
      Waiting until the end will help your manager will see how well you handled this whole process, and it will add a whole layer to your character that they can refer back to when writing a recommendation. Your grace will speak for itself!

      7 Totally Valid Reasons to Quit Your Job More

    • 175 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      Feeling “Meh? Have Zero Motivation? You’re Not Alone. Here’s How I’m Actively Combating Languishing

      by

      A couple of months ago on my nightly phone call with my mom, I explained that I was feeling off—not sad, not angry; overall, I just felt “meh.”
      A few weeks later, I woke up to an article from The New York Times being shared by enough people that I follow on Instagram to make me click through and read it, and it felt like it was written directly for me. The piece was about something called “languishing,” which they described as “a sense of stagnation and emptiness.” It isn’t hopeless like depression, but rather feeling aimless throughout your days. 
      As we’re starting to see the light at the end of the COVID-19 tunnel, it felt wrong that I was feeling like this—wasn’t this what we’ve been waiting for for the past 15 months?—but it brought me solace knowing that I wasn’t alone, and that there was a word to describe the overall lack of motivation I was feeling day in and day out. And I knew I wasn’t alone in my personal life either; my coworkers and I had just had a conversation about how we felt like we were less motivated at work, and how our usual work was taking us longer, for reasons we couldn’t quite put our finger on. Alas, there was a reason, and that reason was called languishing.
      Over the past year, no matter how you cut it, everyone you know has experienced something traumatic: life as we know it was pulled out from underneath us, and even now as things are looking up, there are emotions of trauma and grief that are nowhere near being healed. 
      According to The New York Times, “Languishing is the neglected middle child of mental health. It’s the void between depression and flourishing—the absence of well-being. You don’t have symptoms of mental illness, but you’re not the picture of mental health either. You’re not functioning at full capacity. Languishing dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus, and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work.”
      The article gave me something tangible to work off of, and naming it was enough to commit myself to getting out of my languish, or at least improving upon it. These are the things I’ve done over the past month to break through languishing and get my mojo back:

      Taking a walk first thing in the morning
      Last summer, my favorite thing in the world was waking up at 6 a.m. to get an early-morning workout in; it was tough, but I didn’t struggle to do it once I got in the habit of it. This year, I’ve felt exactly the opposite. Despite my 6:15 a.m. alarm going off every day, I find that it feels impossible to have the motivation to get up like I used to, and I found myself snoozing and choosing a lunch-break workout instead. This lead to rolling out of bed moments before I had to be online for the day—something that doesn’t lead to creativity or productivity for me.
      While I do want to get back to my early-morning routine, in the meantime, I found a compromise: no matter what, I at least get up with enough time to go for a walk before I have to start work. It can just be to Starbucks or on the lake or even around the block, but the act gets my blood pumping and tells my brain it’s time to start the day—something that rolling out of bed and plopping myself at my desk with a cup of coffee doesn’t. I’ve found that taking even 10 minutes to do this flips something on in my brain and leads me to feeling better throughout my morning, which in turn translates to a better day overall.

      Focusing on tangible wins at work
      One of the main symptoms of languish is feeling unmotivated, and when it comes to work, that’s not something I’m used to feeling. I generally feel truly excited to do my work, but I had found that my to-do list was piling up so much that I didn’t even know where to start. The New York Times article suggested focusing on small wins, which I decided to start.
      The sweet spot to me was starting my day with a task that has in-between difficulty; it isn’t something too easy, like adding a photo to an article, but rather is something on my to-do list that is going to make me feel good and accomplished when it’s done. When I looked through my to-do list every day keeping my eye out for this kind of task, it gave me a place to start, and more importantly, something to feel good about immediately in my day. 

      Having goals that don’t involve work
      A big part of many people’s struggle right now is that most of us are still existing from the confines of our homes—something that might not go away as office life looks toward changing permanently. My work matters immensely to me; I put all of myself into it every day, and while that gives me a huge sense of satisfaction and identity, I’ve come to realize I need goals that don’t have to do with my career.
      For me, the answer to this was running. I’ve always turned to running as my exercise of choice, but for the first time, I signed up for a virtual race that came with a training plan. I’ve never done a running training plan in my adulthood, and the fact that my workouts were determined for me each day gave me something to throw myself at that didn’t involve my computer. They were that sweet spot of difficulty—challenging but not impossible—and made me feel truly like a new person at the end of every day. The workouts being something I needed to rise to even when I didn’t necessarily feel like it was what I personally needed, and it helped me to remember that life isn’t just working in my one-bedroom apartment. 
      Whatever your hobbies are, finding something that’s going to stimulate and challenge you outside of your 9-5 is vital for getting out of the feeling of dread so many of us are experiencing right now. If you do anything for yourself, make it this.

      Adding something new to my days
      Part of my feeling of languish was a nagging feeling that I was living in Groundhog Day; give or take a meeting or two, all of my days were essentially identical. The route I’d walk my dog on, the trail I ran on, even what I put into my coffee. I made it my goal to change something each day, even if it was just talking my dog for a walk around a different block than usual once a day.
      Setting this as a goal for multiple weeks in a row has forced me to get creative. I’ve woken up 30 minutes earlier to drink my coffee on my rooftop instead of my couch, I’ve tried new recipes, and I’ve even driven to new locations to find different trails to run on—but no matter what change the day entailed, it reminded me that life can still be new and exciting even if it isn’t completely back to normal. The smallest changes can lead to bigger ones, which to me, just meant that I was finally—finally!—feeling stimulated again.

      Watching a new show
      One of the parts of the article that stuck out the most to me was that they mentioned that a universal experience in 2021 is that people are turning to forms of media they already are familiar with. Days before, a friend of mine had mentioned that she watched Mamma Mia multiple times that week even though she could write the script front to back, and I realized I was doing it too: I hadn’t watched a new show since Tiger King. Instead, I was re-watching old favorites that felt comforting and familiar, and while it did, in fact, comfort me, it wasn’t helping what I was feeling.
      Instead of re-watching Grey’s Anatomy for the fifth time, I started Killing Eve, something I’ve been saying I was going to dive into for years but never got around to. Watching something that I don’t know how will end or what twists will arise has helped knock feeling that every day is the same. Every time I go to watch a movie, I’ve also been making an effort to make sure it’s something I haven’t seen, and the same goes for my playlists. Gone are my days of listening to the same 40 songs every day while I work or the same 25 while I’m out on a run—switching it up and incorporating new things has made a world of difference.
         More

    • 150 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      We Did the Impossible: We Found Activewear That’s Affordable, High-Quality, and Trendy

      by

      I can’t recall exactly when it happened, but I can’t help but correlate my (and everyone I know’s) increased interest in fitness with the influx of cute workout clothes. In my younger years, I wore rolled Soffe shorts and black and white Nike sports bras. We didn’t have patterned bike shorts, one-pieces, long-line bras—all the things we love now. And after getting dozens of ads for the new Old Navy activewear line, Powersoft, we found it had hit basically every criteria we want in workout clothes. Our editors tried a few different styles to get a feel of the fabric, the fit, and everything in between:

      I’ve been struggling with activewear lately. I am working out more than ever (about six days a week) doing all different kinds of activity (thanks to Obe Fitness, my one true love) that has me moving in so many different ways (pilates, dance cardio, strength… I even have recently made my foray into mini trampoline workouts!) that my old workout gear just couldn’t keep up. Then, my sizing changed (pandemic life!), so everything that once fit me, is incredibly uncomfortable and hard to work out in now. Having to constantly pull my leggings up when I’m working out or move a bra around so my boobs aren’t falling out or pull a shirt out is more exhausting than the workout itself. And I also am no Rockefeller—I need workout clothes that are affordable too, and being cute and trendy doesn’t hurt either.

      Like the rest of the world, I will only be wearing bike shorts this summer. They’re comfy, cute, and don’t make me sweat balls. All good things. So, I’m on the hunt to try practically every pair out there, and I knew I had to try these from Old Navy. They come in so many cute colors and prints, and I love that they have pockets (great for hikes or walking). These have lots of things going for them that I love. They’re super comfortable, and the material is really nice and sweat-wicking. I could see these being great for truly every single type of workout. But on my body, they have one flaw, and that is that they give me the gnarliest camel toe ever. I had to position my body in such an odd way to eliminate the camel toe from happening, and it still did.
      I want to love these, but because they show off such an intimate part of my body, I’m worried I’ll feel uncomfortable wearing them and won’t ever pull them out of my drawer. I also wish these came in different lengths because as stated above, I have pretty short legs and don’t think the long, Bermuda-style short looks as good on me as a mid-thigh length does.

      Now that I’m going back to my gym a little bit, I’m realizing that the last year has completely made me a sports bra person. I can’t possibly wear two layers while I’m working out. It’s one or nothing (and nothing wouldn’t be very conducive to aerodynamics, would it?). But I also feel a little self-conscious in a bra that covers my boobs and nothing else, so I need tops that function as both sports bras and tops. This one completely fits the bill and was an immediate keep. I put it on and fell in love. It’s so comfortable and stays in place. I’ve already worn it for a workout, and I need to order every single color. This is a 10/10—if you buy anything from this line, make it this.

      I was so excited for these as someone who remembers yoga pants and is very into their revival. I love bootcut leggings for yoga, hiking, or just lounging around the house. I really like the fit of these, and the length was perfect (I’m 5’5 with kinda short legs for reference). These are the perfect in-between because they’re compressive, making them good for workouts, but they’re also so comfortable that I’d wear them just like I would sweats or joggers around the house. These fit me perfectly too and ran true to size!

      I have had “finding a one-piece workout suit” on my list for this summer. For one, it’s one piece—no thought, still look cute. It’s also extremely comfortable, cute, and pretty trendy. Everything I look for in activewear! But I had many reservations about the fit on this. How could this possibly work with my body type? To my absolute surprise, it fit like a glove. It’s the soft material the entire line consists of, so it just glides over my skin. It doesn’t pinch or pull in any weird places, but it hugs my curves and keeps my shape. I can see myself wearing this for practically every kind of workout and am already planning an outdoor workout class in which I debut how absolutely amazing this looks. I also love this chic green color, but it also comes in black and a lovely burnt orange.
      However, this did give me a smidgen of a camel toe as well, but not nearly as bad as the bike shorts, so I can work around it.

      I have a slight obsession with activewear, and I always love trying out new pieces from different stores and lines. I had been dying to try out Old Navy’s Powersoft line for quite some time because everything is soooo cute and I have heard nothing but rave reviews. Plus it’s affordable, so what more could you want? I am someone who loves to feel cute in my workout clothes—something about it just makes me feel more motivated to workout, OK?!—so I’m a sucker for trendy prints and colors and love nothing more than a good matching set. Luckily for me, Old Navy has all of those things, and the Powersoft material is said to be so soft and comfortable, yet also supportive enough for all of your workouts. I ordered a large in everything you’ll see here—here are my thoughts: 

      I. am. obsessed. with. these. The snakeskin pattern is so cute and on-trend, plus it’s different than anything else I own. These biker shorts are perfectly high-waisted, and the waistband really sucks everything in and does not roll. Plus there is a light compression in these that makes me feel truly snatched. Now let’s get to the material: it is silky smooth and so soft, but there is no issue with it sliding down or constantly having to pull up at the waistband. This material seriously rivals some of my high-end workout wear and I cannot wait to order these biker shorts in every color for summer. 

      Being the exact same material and pattern as the bike shorts, I could say all of the same things regarding how much I love the feel of this sports bra. As far as the fit and support of the bra, I think it’s great. I have a pretty large chest (I typically wear a 36DD), so finding a sports bra that works for me is tough. This one offers just the right amount of support (I hate being too constricted), while still being comfortable enough to wear leisurely. My only critique is that I followed the size chart online and ordered a large, but I could’ve sized up to an XL in this. It definitely fits, but I think I would be more comfortable in an XL. 

      I love this jacket so much. If I saw someone wearing it on the street, I definitely would think it was from a high-end brand. The quality truly feels much more expensive than the price tag, and I could see myself wearing this in so many ways. I often just wear a sports bra and high-waisted bottoms while working out, so this is the perfect jacket to throw on over that outfit. I also love the cut of it—I think it’s super flattering and looks good zipped or unzipped. Plus, the pockets have zippers (perfect for a walk, run, or hike) and it has thumb holes!

      I like these leggings a lot, but they are not my favorite thing I tried. The khaki color (jacket included) is slightly less silky and soft than the snakeskin items (I’m not sure if this is due to manufacturing or just the styles), so I wasn’t as wowed by these leggings as I was the biker shorts. They still fit great, the waistband feels very supportive, and they do not roll down at all. Some people might even like that the material is a little bit more matte feeling, but if you’re looking for that super silky smooth feel, I might suggest trying one of the patterns.  More

    • 125 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      The Amazon Products Our Editors Bought and Loved This Month

      by

      Me: “I need to stop buying things on Amazon.” Also me: *hits “Add To Cart” for the fourth time today* 
      What can I say… I’m a sucker for two-day shipping, having everything I could possibly need on one website, and being able to stock up on my favorite essential/not-so-essential items without having to leave the comfort of my bed. But with a quick review of my ever-growing list of great Amazon finds, I am reassured and once again question, “Why ruin a good thing?” 
      This month, I surveyed some trusted Amazon stans (my fellow coworkers) to bring you all some of the best Amazon finds that we treated ourselves to this month. From chic furry slipper slides to resistance bands that’ll help you get fit AF, we’ve got your next impulsive “Add To Cart” moment covered. 

      Water Resistant Tote
      I really wanted a medium-sized tote bag that I could bring around to all of my summer activities—whether that be a picnic, a day of running errands, a trip to the beach, or something where I might need a quick change of clothes. I scoured Amazon for far too long before landing on this one, but it has been everything I was looking for. It’s perfect for packing up a picnic blanket, book, snacks, and wine, and it’s easy to carry on my shoulder. I got it in a solid light purple color, but there are tons of cute colors and patterns available.
      — Jessica, Junior Graphic Designer

      Tub Stopper
      As someone who lives in an apartment, I don’t have the luxury of a super fancy bathtub where I can take the baths that I dream about. However, I did want to be able to take baths in general, but my tub does not have a way to stop the drain. I did a quick search on Amazon to find something that could plug the drain and found these, which have thousands of five-star reviews. They work great and are perfect for apartment-dwellers like me.
      — Jessica, Junior Graphic Designer

      Clear Shoe Organizers
      I kept my shoes on a rack in my closet for YEARS. My shoes collected dust like no one’s business, the rack always fell apart, and I was stuck in an endless cycle of organizing my shoes on the rack, getting annoyed, just tossing them in the closet, and then reorganizing. I finally decided to do something about it and got these clear shoe boxes from Amazon. They stack neatly and open from the front, so my shoes stay dust-free AND it’s super easy to keep them organized. I’m very much not exaggerating when I say these shoe boxes are my favorite quarantine purchase.
      — Garri, Managing Editor

      Laptop Lap Desk
      Listen: I love my desk. I have a small vase I put flowers in, a bunch of little knick-knacks, a sweet monitor setup, and a light I can set to any color I choose. But I probably only sit there about 60 percent of my work day. I like to migrate. I’ll sit at my dining table, in my reading chair, on my couch, wherever the wind takes me. I had been wanting a lap desk for quite some time and finally decided to just go for it. I truly don’t know why I waited so long, but this lap desk seriously makes my days so much better. I no longer have to deal with my laptop overheating on my lap and it also has a nifty holder I can put my phone in so I don’t constantly lose it between couch cushions or in the black hole that is my favorite chair.
      — Garri, Managing Editor

      Scuba Slide Sandal
      When I tell you that I did some serious damage beefing up my summer wardrobe this month, I mean it. I purged old items I didn’t want and made a list of what I wanted to replace, and one of the items on that list was poolside slides that I could wear while running errands during the summertime. I originally found these slides on DSW’s website where they didn’t have my size but luckily, Amazon pulled through and had the exact same pair in the correct size in stock. They’re wildly comfortable and will be the perfect go-to slide for short walks around town and when I’m chilling at the beach or pool.
      — Ashley, Contributing Writer

      Pasta Bowls
      Are you really an adult if you don’t have every type of bowl under the sun? Under this theory, up until a month ago, I wasn’t. My previous go-to bowls were a lot deeper but, at the same time, pretty damn small. AKA, mixing my salads in said bowl was a nightmare (picture: shreds of kale and sweet potatoes hopping out without warning) while my surface area for cheese on my pasta was little to none. I didn’t know that I needed these bowls so much until I actually started using them. They’re shallow but have a larger diameter, which makes them the perfect plate/bowl combo I didn’t even know I needed.
      — Ashley, Contributing Writer

      Workout Top
      I was inspired by our editor Ashley and my newfound appreciation for the one-piece workout top to try this, and I am loving it so far. I don’t have time to grab a sports bra AND a top before I do a workout, but I really don’t feel comfortable just wearing a sports bra (beyond the body image of it all, it’s just annoying to constantly pull down!). This solves all of those issues while looking really cute, and it just so happens I already had leggings in a few of these colors, so they look like sets!
      — Beth, Beauty Content Manager

      Rolling Laundry Cart
      I just moved to a new unit in my apartment building, which is a high-rise with a big laundry room on the top floor. In my previous apartment, I had the ratty, old hamper I’d used for years that made me never want to walk upstairs to do my laundry. And I mean it… never. So when I moved, I knew I had to opt for something that would be easy to take up and down, even if I had a hefty amount of clothes in it. Plus, my closet is totally visible, so I needed it to look somewhat presentable. I opted for this because the wheels would be easy to pull down the hallways, and I was right! I’ve done my laundry more in the last month than I did in the last six at my old place. Success.
      — Beth, Beauty Content Manager

      SweatBlock Deodorant Lotion
      Summer is my least favorite season for one reason, and one reason only. Once the temperature creeps above 75 degrees my entire body melts into a sweaty mess reminiscent of the 1980s classic character Swamp Thing. I’ve tried really cute solutions like body powder or deodorizing sprays to no avail. One thing that HAS shown promise is an aptly named body deodorant called Man Parts. It’s a talc-free lotion-to-powder formula that you can apply… wherever. Initial results have been strong, but I’ll have a better sense of how it performs when Manhattan returns to sweat lodge status in August. Note: Apparently they make a “Lady Parts” version, but I’ve already committed.
      — Elle, CFO/COO

      Letter Print Tee
      This oversized boxy tee is the perfect dupe for an Anine Bing tee. Anine, if you’re reading this just know I find you impossibly chic, but I have a mortgage. Bonus: this shirt feels nicer than your standard $20 tee, so it feels like a great value. As for sizing, they mean it when they call it oversized. I would say for a slightly-loose-tuck-in-your-jeans moment, go true to size. If you want an oversized-halfway-to-your-knees-TikTok-youth moment, go up a size.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Jolly Egg
      I saw this toy on TikTok and immediately purchased it. Like all good TikTok trends it was sold out and I had to wait a few weeks for it to come in. If you’re in the same position when you click over, let me just affirm that IT IS WORTH THE WAIT.
      So, what makes this dog toy so special? The hard plastic material and shape means that if you purchase the correct size, it’s impossible for them to pick up—but that doesn’t stop them from trying. Our 16lb dog goes nuts chasing it across the floor and we have to eventually take it away so she doesn’t collapse from exhaustion. The only downside? It’s incredibly loud. Not the kind of toy you want them playing with if you’re on a zoom call in the other room. But if a little noise doesn’t bother you, 30 minutes can equal complete exhaustion so afterwards you can watch Real Housewives in peace.
      We purchased the medium and have been over the moon with it, but I don’t know that bigger dogs (90lb Labrador size) would have the same enjoyment with this toy since they could potentially fit their mouth around it which defeats the fun of not being able to pick it up. Most of the dogs I saw loving it on TikTok were Goldendoodles, so I can confirm this is worthwhile entertainment for small to medium breeds. If you have a large dog, I’d advise reading the reviews thoroughly.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      The Laundress Fabric Fresh
      The most simple description of this product is “bougie bitch Febreeze”. The bougie aspect comes from the scent which is a light clean laundry smell that’s not overly-chemical like other fabric refreshers. Yes, it’s a light scent but I personally think that’s what makes it fancy lady and not air freshener explosion. I like to spray it on sheets before guests arrive, on a shirt that I probably shouldn’t be rewearing for the fourth time, or on our couch when I can tell our dogs have been lounging on it.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Jute Beach Tote
      We are frequent beach goers in the summer, so I purchases this as an upgraded tote to take with me. It’s very cute and incredibly easy to get sand out of. I also just appreciate any item that makes me look put together when I’ve been sweating and swimming. I went with the large and it’s definitely smaller than our normal beach bag that can hold supplies for multiple people. This is very much a one human bag or a two low-maintenance human bag. Alas, I am one high-maintenance lady so I use it as more of a purse replacement than a large catchall. I would also be worried about overfilling it because the construction is on par for the under $20 price.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Queen Beach Cup Holder with Pocket
      Speaking of the beach, these are another favorite at my house. They may look like a simple cupholder, but the size and spot for your cellphone make these revolutionary for a day in the sand. I don’t know why Amazon insists on selling them in a six pack, but it does give you backups for when your friends inevitably swipe one because they love it as much as you.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Loctite Mounting Putty
      I cannot speak to the mounting quality of this putty because I use it to clean my Airpods. Yes, you read that correctly. Without getting too graphic, you warm the putty up in your hands and then roll it over the speaker part of your Airpod. It magically pulls out the dirt and earwax in those tiny spots that you can’t get with a wipe. The magic can only be compared to the Oxyclean commercials that would run at every ad break when you were home sick from school and watching daytime television. I’ve since used it to clean out my cellphone charging port and it works just as well.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      FAVORITES FROM LAST MONTH

      Motivational Water Bottle
      Other than coffee, my Brita filter is the only beverage source I regularly keep in my fridge. My water intake has never really been a problem, exactly, but I wanted to make sure I was drinking at least two liters each day, rather than sipping on the same glass for hours at a time and forgetting to refill. Enter: one of my favorite recent purchases. I love having this bottle to help keep me accountable and, most importantly, hydrated.
      — Garri, Managing Editor

      Fabric Resistance Bands
      Fabric resistance bands have been on my “to buy” list since I hastily ran to the nearest Target at the beginning of the pandemic looking for workout equipment. I snatched up a set of rubber resistance bands and a pair of pink dumbbells, ready to adapt my workout routine for the stay-at-home order. Unfortunately, I realized almost right away the rubber booty bands weren’t going to cut it. After approximately one (1) use, I knew I simply could not deal with them constantly rolling up during my workouts. After not touching them for a year, I finally upgraded to these fabric bands and I could not be happier. The fabric prevents them from rolling up in the middle of my workouts and I love the different resistance levels. Bonus: they also come with a small case to help keep your workout-from-home setup organized.
      — Garri, Managing Editor

      Marble Foam Roller
      One of my most fatal flaws in life is that, despite knowing the benefits of foam rolling, I avoid it like the plague. Part of the reason that I dislike it is that, after an hour or more at the gym, I don’t necessarily want to stick around for an extra 20 minutes to get the job done. Before this purchase, I didn’t have one for myself and, naturally, I sustained a minor injury to my right hip that kept me from my gym routine for a few days. And what did my physical therapist urge me to do? Rest, foam roll, and let my body heal. So, I opened my Amazon app, pulled the trigger on this cute, apartment-friendly, marble-colored foam roller, and am vowing to make foam rolling a priority in my future routine.
      — Ashley, Contributing Writer

      No Slip Claw Clip
      I finally hopped on the rebirth of these claw clips and, let me tell you: These ones boast the perfect size, color assortment, and grip. I almost always have one in my hair and it’s the quickest way to pull myself together before any Zoom meeting or Trader Joe’s run.
      — Ashley, Contributing Writer

      Rectangle Retro Sunglasses
      Spring is finally here and after a few months of gloomy skies, I’m looking forward to sunny days ahead. This season, I’m opting for these super trendy sunnies that are impressively affordable. If there’s one lesson that I’ve learned after about 15 times of making the same mistake, it’s that designer sunnies and I just don’t mix. Cue me sitting directly on my Ray-Bans, hearing a devastating crunch, and stating, “This is why we can’t have nice things.” If any damage is done to these Amazon ones, I won’t feel as much shame because 1) they come in a pack of two and 2) they are inexpensive AF.
      — Ashley, Contributing Writer

      Athletic Running Shorts
      I have never been a huge fan of shorts and that dislike also applied to exercise shorts until I ordered these. Not only do they not pinch me anywhere but they truly do not ride up! The longer layer compression piece stays put while the outer layer is a bit flowier so you don’t feel hugged in any of the wrong places. I was extra excited to see that the tech pocket in the compression shorts held my phone in place without any discomfort. Win-win in my book and 5 stars for these shorts.
      — Ally, Chief of Sales and Marketing

      Straw Visor
      With warm weather upon us and the damaging effects of my teen years spent in a tanning bed rearing its ugly head, this visor checks all of the boxes for me in my quest to achieve sun safety this season. I love the packable feature (it rolls in the tiniest crease-free ball), the wide brim that fully covers my entire face, and the sweet bow detail at the back makes it feel more grand millennial vs. plain granny. If you are looking to keep the sun off of your face without the consequence of hat head this visor is for you!
      — Ally, Chief of Sales and Marketing

      Facial Massage Ice Roller
      I’ve always been obsessed with ice rolling the face for a variety of benefits. After a good ice rolling, my skin immediately looks glowier, less puffy, and I swear my pores seem smaller (oh, and any breakouts seem less noticeable too). Plus, I love using a roller on my neck and shoulders to relieve any neck tension and help with headaches. Sure I already had an ice roller, but when I saw this one that was way cuter (and super affordable) I knew it was time for an upgrade. Plus, the hinges don’t freeze like with other ice rollers I have, so even if you keep it in the freezer 24/7, it will still roll easily.
      — Josie, Wellness Content Manager

      Furry Slipper Slides
      Full disclosure: I have very few shoes that slip on. My closet is full of booties, sneakers, or even lace-up sandals, but I have never owned many slip-on shoes. As soon as slides became cool again, I knew I had to invest in a pair, both for fashion and my own convenience. There is no shoe better for running errands or taking the dog outside (AKA grabbing the leash and running when you know it’s an emergency). I stumbled upon these of-the-moment trendy slides with fur and I knew I had to have them. They are now officially my go-to pair of shoes for any OOTD or occasion, and they’re under $20, which means I got them in multiple colors.
      — Josie, Wellness Content Manager

      Neoprene Dumbbell
      I first purchased these weights in the 10 lb. variation in the middle of a workout when I realized I would absolutely perish if I didn’t get a new set of weights, and these were practically the only 10 lb. weights available on the Internet. Then a few weeks later, I ordered the 2 lb. set to use in pilates, barre, and yoga sculpt classes. I can’t say too much about these because they are simply weights, but they’re hella affordable and actually available to ship for the first time in one full year.
      — Beth, Beauty Content Manager

      16-Piece Cookware Set
      When I moved into my first apartment, I was all about budget. I bought the absolute cheapest version of every single thing someone might need because I was in college and had approximately $76 to my name at all times. Well, this past January, I realized I somehow was still using the cheapest pots and pans known to man, three years later. I found these on Amazon (admittedly because I was looking for pink pots and pans), and I love them. They were still quite budget-friendly for how many pieces it comes with, but the quality is eons better than what I was using before. I also love the colorful look—it gives me an excuse to leave pots and pans on my stove at all times in the name of ~aesthetics~ instead of pure laziness.
      — Beth, Beauty Content Manager

      Dishwasher Magnet
      For some reason, we’ve all just accepted that if you live with another human then you’ll constantly find yourself asking (or being asked) if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty. I spotted this $7 find at a friend’s house, and even after pressing purchase I had a pang of guilt that this wasn’t really needed. Well, five months later and I am ready to shout my love for this little gadget from the rooftops. It comes in black or silver so it blends seamlessly in with your appliances which helps it look more expensive than it is.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Adhesive Mount Cabinet Storage Organizer
      You can also file this purchase under “lame things that make me incredibly happy”. My husband and I live in a historic home with approximately one closet, no pantry, and limited cabinets. This means we have to get incredibly creative with our storage solutions. Even though I’ve already done the full Home Edit treatment on most of our house, these little containers are a new touch of happiness for me. They have adhesive strips so you can add them to almost any cabinet or door. I added one under the sink for dishwasher pods and the second close to where we keep our vacuum cleaner so I could easily access the charging cord and attachments. After only a week with them, I got back on Amazon and bought three more sets.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief

      Mini Dress with Ruffle Sleeves
      I live in the south so summer is absolutely BRUTAL. Until November 1, you just accept that you’ll be covered in sweat anytime you leave the comfort of air conditioning. When I saw this dress on Jacey Duprie’s instagram a few weeks ago, I immediately added it to my cart. It hits my most important qualifications for summer clothing: light fabric, loose fit, hides sweat, and looks like you’re dressed up but with maximum comfort. I’m a size 8, so I ordered a medium (the size range listed for medium was 8-10) and I found it to fit perfectly loose. If you’re more on the small/medium size (like a 6-8), I would suggest sizing down as the dress has little to no shape. Some of the reviews note that it can be a bit short, so if you’re taller than 5ft 6 in, diligently check the dimensions before purchasing. Let’s be real: this is a $27 potato sack dress from Amazon. I’m not here to tell you it’s high quality by any means. But it’s easy to throw on with a pair of sandals and I’ll likely purchase this in a few more colors.
      — Allyson, Editor-in-Chief More

    • 175 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      5 Ways I Get Excited To Cook When I Really Don’t Feel Like It

      by

      So you like cooking. Maybe you even like it enough to read about cooking tips (like this article) or at least don’t hate it enough to allot a medium-sized fortune into your UberEats budget. But after a year when going out to eat was nonexistent, sourdough bread recipes were a bigger part of your life than pants with a zipper, and to-do lists get longer and longer by the day, you might be battling a twinge of cooking fatigue. If “cooking fatigue” was in Webster’s Dictionary, it would likely be defined as “cooking so freaking often that you are bored, tired, and so over it.” While I can’t speak for Martha Stewart or Ina Garten, I can confidently say that we’ve all wanted to break up with our kitchens at one point or another.
      But cooking does not have to be a chore. In fact, cooking should feel–dare I say–fun. This might be the most unrelatable thing about me, but I rarely get tired of cooking. Like I purposefully don’t meal prep so that I have to take a full lunch break to cook an entire meal because that is the happiest moment in my day #HumbleBrag. But I didn’t just pop out of the womb with a frying pan and a spatula excited to cook (yeah, I also hated that imagery); there are a few key strategies I use so that cooking always feels exciting, fun, and stress-free. How, you ask? Read on for five secrets that help me stay excited to cook. 

      1. Utilizing meal delivery kits

      When you’re finding the recipes, making the grocery lists, going to the grocery store, and prepping the ingredients, of course you’re going to get exhausted. One of my secrets to keep cooking interesting is that I love to order from Blue Apron. That’s right: even people who love to cook can utilize a meal delivery service too. Not only does a Blue Apron box at the door give you a (much-needed) break from grocery shopping and meal prepping, but their delicious and inventive recipes serve as some major cooking inspo.

      They offer recipes and cuisines that you might not ever think to make for yourself, and you will be shocked when you find out how easy they are to cook IRL. Bonus: Blue Apron offers wellness options like vegetarian, WW-approved, etc., so you’ll feel good about what you’re eating too. Trust me: order a box today, and you might find your new favorite go-to recipe (without the hassle and time-suck of cooking on your own). 
      New customers: click here to get $80 off across your first four boxes!

      2. Reading cookbooks

      Maybe you get your meal inspo from screen-shotting Instagram accounts, or maybe you go off of TikTok trends to spice up your cooking (feta pasta, you have my heart). While I love social media for inspiration, I attribute my unwavering love for cooking to reading cookbooks. That’s right: those old-fashioned things your mom keeps on a shelf are not just meant to be gifted when you need a classy housewarming present; they can be a useful tool to make cooking more exciting. While other people are reading a thriller or romance novel, I’m devouring a cookbook (yes, that does mean reading front-to-back). Feeling immersed in a cuisine and learning everything the chef, author, or nutritionist offers about their meals makes me so much more excited to cook them. Bottom line: reading a cookbook turns cooking from a chore into a learning experience. Not sure where to begin? Here are my favorites. 

      3. Trying one new food every week

      Stuck in a food rut? Get out of it by trying a new star ingredient. While we typically stick to the same grocery lists and the same sections of the store, getting out of your comfort zone at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods doesn’t have to be difficult and can spark creativity in the kitchen. When I go to the grocery store, I challenge myself to pick up one new fruit or vegetable that I’ve either never tried before (looking at you, Japanese sweet potatoes) or have never cooked before (example: I love a good beet salad at a restaurant, but have never cooked with beets). Sometimes this requires a little bit of research (googling “how to roast beets” or “Japanese sweet potato recipes” typically does the trick), but it is a little hack that has prevented cooking from ever feeling routine. Plus, I’m getting a wider variety of nutrients by exploring a wider variety of produce.

      4. Experimenting with new tools

      Since changing up what I’m cooking helps keep it exciting, I thought it might be time to update how I’m cooking. Whether it’s an air fryer, spiralizer, or poached egg maker, there’s a wide variety of affordable, easy appliances and tools that can transform lean proteins and healthy veggies into meals you could have never imagined to be as healthy as they are. Low key, the air fryer completely changed my life, and a salad chopper somehow turns boring salads into drool-worthy creations. The truth is that healthy cooking is easy when you have a kitchen full of tools to help you do it. Simultaneously make healthy cooking easier and challenge yourself to get creative by not only changing up what you cook, but the way you cook it. For some products to try, click here. 

      5. Perfecting a couple of easy recipes I love

      Yes, getting excited about cooking is all about trying new things, but it’s also about knowing when to pull out your old-faithfuls. One of the main reasons I still love cooking so much (after doing it on a nightly basis) is because even my go-to recipes don’t feel boring or repetitive. For example, I will never get tired of cooking (or eating!) pasta. I love the experience of boiling water, chopping up garlic, and letting a simple tomato sauce cook on the stove while the spaghetti boils.
      Plus, I can make it with any pasta shape or switch up the sauce with a few easy swaps. It’s simple and easy for the days where I don’t have time (and energy) to revert to my cookbooks or experiment with something new, but it feels comforting rather than boring. Don’t settle for mundane frozen food or a basic recipe you don’t even enjoy, even on your busiest days. Instead, perfect an easy recipe that feels fun to make, and cooking will become your escape instead of a chore.

      This post contains a sponsored inclusion of Blue Apron, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

      I Fell In Love With Cooking This Year—Here Are 12 Recipes I Love More

    • 175 Shares

      in health and weelbeing

      I Fell in Love With My Best Friend…and He Didn’t Feel the Same Way

      by

      I sat next to my best friend on her queen-sized, bed, surrounded by a mass of pillows doing what best friends do best: heart to hearts.Her words stuck.“As painful as it was, losing that friendship wouldn’t have mattered if you hadn’t learned anything.”We were rehashing the loss of one of my closest friendships. My best guy friend. (Let’s call him David.) A guy who in the course of our three-year friendship I realized I was in love with.
      We laid out the details like a deck of cards. What had gone wrong. Mistakes made on both sides. The scars it had left. What I learned from it. How I was planning to let go and move on.I had done the unthinkable. I had written an emotional note to David ending the friendship. To top it off, I sent a text. A text saying I couldn’t be friends anymore. The emotional, disgruntled note came later when I felt the need to explain my text. (A note, might I add, that was written while I was slightly tipsy. Something I highly warn against: drunken notes, texts, smoke signals, or really communication of any kind.)
      Rewind to 2016 when I realized that I had feelings for my best guy friend. After three years of a great friendship — of long phone calls, of making fun of each other, of seeing each other at our worst, of challenging each other to grow, of rooting for each other, of me calling him to come save me — I realized I was in love, and it scared the crap out of me.
      What scared me was that I knew. I knew how I felt. I knew what he meant to me. I knew if I had to choose, I’d always pick him. It was that feeling that older, more mature couples talk about, “When you know, you know.”Pause. Yes, you read that correctly. It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone. So yes, a really long time. I sat on my newfound knowledge of my feelings for a month, hoping I could will them away. I didn’t want to be in love with my best guy friend because I was afraid of losing him, but even more so, I was afraid of being rejected.

      It took me three years to realize I was in love with someone.

      So what did I do? I hard-core stuffed those emotions, deep, deep down in a dark tunnel that no one could find. I worked out to avoid feeling. I worked more hours to avoid emotions. I slept to avoid emotions. I shopped to avoid emotions. And guess what? The feelings were still there. They didn’t go anywhere.In the midst of my attempt to avoid reality, a friend gave me some words of wisdom. She told me that perhaps the first step is to acknowledge what it was. I had been running, stuffing, and avoiding for so long that coming to terms with how I felt seemed impossible. As we sat, talked, and sipped coffee, my heart began to ease and my lips finally released the words that I had been holding captive: I was in love with him.
      “Being honest about your emotions and being vulnerable won’t destroy you. In fact, it’ll only make you stronger.”
      One crisp, clear L.A. night with a glass of wine in hand, I took my phone to my apartment’s deck, and I made the call. With shaky hands and a trembling voice, I said the words that I had been trying so hard to bury: I have feelings for you. Fast forward to present day: the love that I expressed to my best guy friend turned out to be unrequited. He told me while he had felt the same way before, he didn’t think we were a good fit. It was my biggest fear coming true in real time. Falling in love with someone only for it not to be reciprocated. I felt embarrassed; I felt confused; I felt exposed; I felt stupid; I was hurt.
      We tried going back to being close friends like we had always been, but it didn’t happen that way. The phone calls stopped. The witty texts stopped filling my inbox. We saw each other once more in 2016 when we both were home. My heart wasn’t ready. I thought I could be his friend again, but my heart was still hurting. So when I got back to L.A., I sent him a text and said I couldn’t handle being his friend right now. He sent me a thumbs up emoji. We haven’t spoken since.

      When I got back to L.A., I sent him a text and said I couldn’t handle being his friend right now. He sent me a thumbs up emoji. We haven’t spoken since.

      Guess, what? I’m still here. Being honest about my emotions and being vulnerable didn’t destroy me. It didn’t kill me. While awfully uncomfortable, I am still here. To be honest, it was relieving to just be honest. It was like releasing pressure from a balloon. Once it was pierced, it all just came out.I fell in love with someone and that love was not reciprocated. OK. That’s what it is, but knowing that fact doesn’t destroy me. Oh, most certainly it hurts like all hell, but if it was love, of course the loss of it is going to hurt.Years later, I surely don’t have all the answers. I still miss David at times, and I wonder why he didn’t feel the same or why he didn’t choose me. I miss our friendship the most. There’s so many things over the last three years that I’d like to share with him: my job layoff, my freelance career, my crazy roommate stories, my trip to Italy, my half marathon. Yet, when I find myself on the train of thought headed to the past for too long, I kindly take my ticket and head to the exit door.
      I know now that I am enough, with or without this person. Just because one guy didn’t pick me, it doesn’t mean I am unworthy of love or not good enough. I am enough, just as I am: imperfect, beautiful me.

      I know now that I am enough, with or without this person. Just because one guy didn’t pick me, it doesn’t mean I am unworthy of love or not good enough.

      I am finding that part of being an adult and an overall emotionally healthy human being means allowing yourself to be real and vulnerable. While there are a lot of things I would go back and do differently, I am proud of myself for having the courage to be vulnerable. I am proud of myself for voicing my feelings. I am even proud of myself for saying I wasn’t ready to be friends yet because I wasn’t. I know now that that’s OK. I only wish I would have had that conversation in person and not sent a text. It deserved more care and so did he.
      Yet, I can show myself grace because I had some growing to do, as we are all in process, imperfect human beings. In 2016, I was a hot mess in more ways than one. I didn’t value myself nor my voice. 2017 saw a lot of growth, a lot, and boy was it painful. I grew to be more confident in my talents and gifts. I came to get to know and actually like the woman I saw staring back at me in the mirror. I learned to say no, to set boundaries with other people, and to make self-care a priority. 2018 allowed me to put those lessons into action and I gained a thicker skin. In 2019, I hope to only go up from here.

      6 Things My Therapist Taught Me About Relationships
      The top tips I’ve learned and am implementing into my life. More