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      If ‘Waste Less Time On The Internet’ Is On Your 2024 Goal List, Try Timeboxing

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      How much of your day dissolves down the plughole of the internet? If you’re anything like the typical woman, it’s plenty. One 2022 study found that the average adult now layers an extra five hours of screen time – including television – on top of those dedicated to work.

      Conscious of doing less of this in 2024? Then you might be wondering what the sharpest techniques for doing so are out there – especially if your working day is spent in an office, largely tapping at a computer and attending meetings, and in which getting lost in digital rabbit holes is common.

      Pomorado? The 80:20 rule? Blockers for social media sites?

      Enter: a new method

      One method that might just revolutionise things is ‘timeboxing.’ Effectively an extension of what you’re already doing – a digital calendar, filled with blocks of varying time scales for specific tasks – the concept was first named in the eighties. In our modern, blue light-soaked world, it’s risen to greater prominence.

      After writing a feature for the Harvard Business Review on the topic in 2018, tech CEO Marc Zao-Sanders has expanded on the idea for his first book. Timeboxing: The power of doing one thing at a time is published on 11 January.

      Zao-Sanders credits the method with doubling his productivity. It has, he says, allowed him to be more in control of his day, confident that he’s working on the most pressing task at any given time and, as such, has granted him a degree of serenity – a pleasing antidote to the feelings of hurry and stress which characterised the earlier days of his career.

      READ MORE: 12 New Year Books That’ll Set Up Your Year For Success

      Is it a lot to take on?

      In short, not really. A straightforward philosophy underpins the concept. That is, it’s better to do one thing at a time, rather than flailing from task to task. “This idea of doing one thing at a time is so fundamental and so simple,” Zao-Sanders tells WH. “Life is complicated partly because we’re tethered to devices – any number of people can get in touch with you at any time.”

      “The liberating thing about timeboxing is that, while there are a thousand things you could be doing and which you could be pinged about, there is a log which says ‘do this one thing.’ If you can train yourself to stick to that, refusing to give into distraction, that stress dissolves.”

      He’s an evangelist for resisting the lure of multitasking or context-switching – zipping from preparing a presentation to doing your emails to inputting data into a spreadsheet.

      “Doing this is really common. You’re working on something on your computer, you see a notification that you’ve got an email, you go to that, become distracted and, before you know it, half an hour has passed and you’ve lost track of what you meant to do, leading to stress and frustration.”

      He acknowledges this sounds obvious. “While it’s simple, a lot of people don’t do it. This leads to more stressful lives.”

      READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

      What is the timeboxing technique?

      To elaborate, here are the pillars which Zao-Sanders says provide a framework for timeboxing.

      What: Choosing what to do, with intention, before the day has begun (so, the night before or the early morning).

      When: Start times and end times; a period in which to get the aforementioned ‘what’ accomplished.

      One: Doing that one thing, single-tasking, not multitasking.

      Enough: And doing it to a good enough standard, rather than chasing perfection.

      How do I start timeboxing?

      Let’s say you’re sold on timeboxing as the tonic to a harried mode of being. How, then, is it done? Try the formula, below.

      Get your calendar up

      Open up your existing digital calendar, whether that’s via Google, Outlook or whatever system you prefer.

      Timebox your timeboxing

      Add in a 15-minute appointment for tomorrow, or the next working day, titling it ‘timebox today.’ You can make this recurring, so you get a reminder to do it, each morning.

      Select your sizes

      Pick what sizes your boxes will come in such as 15, 30 or 60 minutes. (When it comes to tiny tasks, like remembering to acknowledge an email, bundle a load up into a smaller box, to avoid cluttering your calendar.) You’ll likely over or under-estimate how long some things take you, and that’s okay; you can hone as you go.

      Take your to-do list

      When it comes to planning your day in timeboxing, take your to-do list, work out which time frame each slots into, and decide what you can fit into the day.

      READ MORE: Struggle Sleeping? Here’s How To Create A Bedtime Routine, Per Experts

      Timebox away!

      Now, actually create your boxes, put everything into your calendar. Working around things that are non-negotiable (meetings; appointments), fill your day out. Here, take stock of your own rhythms and preferences.

      Early bird? You might like to front-load your day with harder, more thoughtful tasks early, leaving lower-stakes admin for after lunch. Get into the groove a little later? Reverse it.

      You might prefer to start by just timeboxing a morning, or an afternoon, but can then scale up to the whole working day, plus leisure time (gym, go to a mate’s for dinner, play with the kids.)

      When you’re flying with it, experiment with colour coding (for creative tasks versus admin, work versus leisure, etc.)

      This article was first published by Claudia Canavan on womenshealthmag.com/uk More

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      6 Health Benefits Of Kombucha You Should Know About, According To Dieticians

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      As far as drinks that have transcended hipster status go, kombucha – and kombucha health benefits – is right up there with green juice and coconut water. Convenience stores and petrol stations carry the stuff these days. So it’s safe to say kombucha has officially gone mainstream⁠ — and, in the process, gained a rep as a health tonic for everything from gut trouble to lifeless skin.

      But is the slightly sour-tasting drink really a magic health potion ⁠— or just another health fad? Given today’s surge in all sorts of wellness products (and the growing research on the benefits of probiotics on many aspects of health), kombucha is here to stay, says Beth Warren, a dietician and author of Secrets of a Kosher Girl. In the age of pills and supplements, “kombucha is a major source of whole-food probiotics,” she says.

      What is kombucha?

      Quick refresher: Kombucha is a mixture of black or green tea and sugar that’s fermented with the help of a SCOBY (short for symbiotic colony of bacteria and yeast). Essentially a blob of live bacteria that sits on top of the tea mixture, the SCOBY turns kombucha into the carbonated beverage you know and (maybe) love.

      People generally describe the brew as “rather effervescent with a slight vinegary and tea taste,” says Keri Gans, a dietician.

      Kombucha fans claim the slightly nose-stinging stuff does everything from help with weight loss and boost energy, to lower blood pressure and (yes, really) even prevent cancer, says Gans.

      So what are the kombucha health benefits I should know about?

      Honestly, it would be pretty much impossible for kombucha to live up to every single health claim associated with it.

      So far, research on the drink is pretty scant. Example: Though one study on mice found that the bubbly brew could help lower both cholesterol and blood sugar, researchers haven’t replicated these findings in humans yet.

      Still, if you break down all the components in the drink, you’re still looking at some pretty promising health benefits, says WH advisor Dr Samantha Nazareth, a gastroenterologist.

      READ MORE: 10 Low-Calorie Cocktails Worth Sipping On This Summer

      1. Probiotics for your gut

      Like other fermented foods, such as kimchi and sauerkraut, kombucha’s health benefits extends to its probiotic properties. It contains probiotics, beneficial bacteria that have been linked to gut health, says Nazareth. Having the right balance of these microbes in your gut helps with immunity, digestion and balancing blood sugar.

      Kombucha’s probiotics come from its sugar and the yeast in the SCOBY. Though they’re different than those you’ll find in fermented cabbage, the benefit is likely similar, notes Nazareth.

      2. Kombucha’s antioxidants may help fight disease. 

      Since kombucha is made with green or black tea, it’s rich in polyphenols, powerful antioxidants that fight free radicals and repair damaged cells, says Nazareth. Tea polyphenols may even protect against some forms of cancer and cardiovascular disease, according to research published in Critical Reviews of Food Science and Nutrition.

      Tea also contains antioxidants and flavonoids, which have been associated with a lower risk of cancer, notes Gans.

      3. The acetic acid in kombucha helps fight bad bacteria.

      Kombucha gets its slightly vinegary flavour from acetic acid, an anti-microbial agent found in vinegar like apple cider vinegar (a.k.a. ACV). The acid can help fight off bad bacteria that enter our systems when you eat, says Nazareth.

      4. Drinking kombucha may help you kick your soda habit. 

      Whether you love soda’s bubbles or sweetness (or both), fizzy and flavorful kombucha can be a great better-for-you option when the craving strikes. “If someone replaces their daily high-sugar soda with a lower-sugar, probiotic-packed kombucha, then that is a win-win,” says Gans.

      5. Kombucha might be good for your waistline, too. 

      Full disclosure: Some promising research supports this claim but it’s not super robust. After an older study found that obese women who took green tea extract lost more weight than those who didn’t, experts began wondering whether tea-based kombucha might also have weight-related benefits. “It is hypothesised that kombucha made with green tea, specifically, may have a similar effect on weight loss,” says Warren. But, of course, research on kombucha itself will truly confirm the theory.

      6. Kombucha’s probiotics can help your skin glow. 

      You already know that kombucha’s probiotics can help balance out your gut⁠—and those balancing benefits can carry over to your complexion, too. In fact, according to Warren, as probiotics nourish the gut microbiome, they can help with inflammatory skin conditions like acne and eczema. However (as with kombucha’s potential impact on weight), more research is needed to understand its true skin benefits, Warren says.

      READ MORE: What Is Kombucha, Really? Here’s What You Should Know

      So I should grab a bottle right now?

      With so many nutritional hard-hitters, it’s tempting to have a daily ‘booch, but you might not want to chug bottles every day.

      When people first started drinking kombucha thousands of years ago, they took it as a shot, multiple times a day, says Nazareth. That was probably a good idea, considering the Centers for Disease Control recommends sticking to less than 350ml a day.

      How come? According to the Mayo Clinic, drinking a lot of kombucha may lead to stomach upset.

      Another reason not to overdo it: Kombucha does contain sugar (often about six or seven grams per serving). Drink a full bottle (two servings), and you’ve downed 14 out of the 25 grams of sugar you’re supposed to consume per day, says Nazareth. (Still, a significantly better option than soda.)

      To minimise the sugar issue, “look for brands that have less than four grams of sugar per serving and drink them in small amounts,” says WH advisor and integrative physician Dr Frank Lipman, founder of the Eleven Eleven Wellness Center in New York City. He recommends mixing kombucha with soda water to dial down the sugar content further.

      Also good to know: Because kombucha is fermented it does contain traces of alcohol, (some brands more than others), says Gans. It also contains caffeine, which can make you anxious or unable to sleep if you chug too much.

      READ MORE: 15 Wellness Journals To Kickstart Your Year

      Curious? Try one of these kombucha brands.

      If you’re intrigued by kombucha’s funky flavour and potential benefits, Gans recommends trying one of the following quality kombucha brands on for size.

      BREW Kombucha Original

      Theonista Ginger & Rooibos Kombucha

      CultureLab Lemongrass Kombucha

      This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com. More

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      Author Janine Jellars Shares Her Simple Wellness Routine

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      Former magazine editor Janine Jellars wrote her debut novel When The Filter Fades six years ago as part of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November 2017. Her aim? To write 1,667 words a day in order to complete a 50,000-word first draft manuscript within one month. More than anything, this was a creative challenge that she’d set out for herself.

      “After I left journalism, I spent less, and less time writing on a daily basis and felt alienated from that part of my identity. But, the beauty of writing is that it’s a craft and wellness practice and the only pre-requisite for calling yourself a writer is to sit at your laptop and get to writing,” she shares, adding that she wanted to explore the joy of writing and challenge myself in a different way. “So, I tried my hand at fiction.”

      READ MORE: Enjoy Your Downtime (Without Feeling Guilty) In 3 Easy Steps

      The Difference Between Writing Fiction and Non-Fiction

      I actually wrote When The Filter Fades before I wrote my first book The Big South African Hair Book, which I found a much more familiar and comfortable experience given that it was non-fiction, fact-based and an extension of reportage. With fiction, there’s obviously a lot of imagination involved, there’s research too, but there’s a lot of thinking things through, problem-solving the plot and speaking to myself out loud to feel if the dialogue sounds real and authentic.

      It also played with many of my anxieties – I had to push through procrastination, I constantly questioned why I was taking certain characters in certain directions, the characters deal with their own traumas and mental health challenges so there was also some excavation involved in the process.

      In terms of putting the book out into the world, the difference between fiction and non-fiction was night and day. With The Big South African Hair Book, given that it was non-fiction, it could be fact-checked, the messaging was very clear. When The Filter Fades was so different for me – it’s so open to interpretation and governed by the audience’s likes and dislikes. And for someone like me who likes control, and is a recovering perfectionist, it’s been tough, but rewarding. 

      Nourishing Her Body

      I’m definitely a ‘breakfast is the most important meal of the day’ person. I cannot function without breakfast, and I am an oats devotee. Cooked rolled oats, with almond milk, 7 raw almonds, blueberries, and bananas. To me, that’s the only way I can kickstart the day. When writing, I snack quite a bit – there’s something about chewing that keeps me focused. 

      READ MORE: How To Reflect On The Year You’ve Had – And Prepare For The Year Ahead

      The Demands Of Writing

      Writing for me is deeply necessary. It’s clarity, it’s tangibility. Feelings, thoughts, intentions, plans… things do not feel real to me unless they’re archived and written. I’m working hard at making writing a daily practice – I’m following The Artist’s Way’s Morning Pages practice – because it definitely provides me with so much clarity and helps me process how I understand the world. I’m a list-maker, a letter writer, a note-taker and now a novelist. So much in the world feels ephemeral and disposable and finding practices where we can hold onto things for a little bit longer definitely feels like a luxury. 

      Learning To Relax

      I have a really hard time with the concept of relaxation. But being intentional about certain routines helped me immensely. Morning Pages first thing in the morning is definitely something I enjoy – I freeform write for three pages.

      I am also newly converted to Pilates – not exactly the most relaxing thing I’ve ever done, but there’s something special about feeling yourself getting stronger. And last but not least, reading – everything from romance novels, to sociological non-fiction.  

      READ MORE: 15 Wellness Journals To Kickstart Your Year

      Her Sources Of Strength

      I don’t want to make it to the end of my journey without feeling like I’ve done everything I’ve wanted to do – there are so many childhood dreams I want to fulfil. I do so many things for ‘Younger Me’. I have definitely started growing in my faith as I’ve grown older. And cognitive behavioural therapy helps a lot! 

      What She Wants Readers To Take Away From Her Latest Book

      On one level, it’s a sizzling, fun summer read – so I want readers to have a good time, get lost in my character’s world and immerse themselves in the drama and intrigue. But, on a deeper level, I wanted to explore how we women mediate our lives, how we represent and misrepresent ourselves, what drives our behaviours, insecurities, and deepest desires, and how we fight battles with ourselves and amongst one another for status, power and money.  More

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      15 Wellness Journals To Kickstart Your Year

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      If being more present, more of a go-getter or hitting certain goals is your new year MO, you’re going to need one of these wellness journals to get there.

      Journalling is a powerful tool for wellness. It boosts your mindfulness by helping you reflect and stay on course. Journalling can help you achieve your goals, help you gain self-confidence and can even improve your writing and communication skills. Per Rochester University, it can improve your stress, manage anxiety and even help you cope with depression.

      Plus, research links journalling with boosted immune function, since journalers see fewer doctors for stress-related incidences. It also helps cultivate gratitude, which in turn leads to greater contentment and happiness with life.

      These wellness journals tick all the boxes and each is designed specifically to help you reach your goals, achieve greater wellness and cultivate inner peace. These are the 2024 wellness journals we’re loving.

      Wellness Diary by Typo

      This journal, which comes in a variety of hardcovers, is perfect for building and maintaining healthy habits. You don’t just use it to jot down your daily to-dos, either. Each day comes with a water tracker, and a brief reflection activity to fill out. Use it to track your mental health and see your gratitude grow.

      Wellness Journal By Arcturus Publishing  

      Use this embossed baby to record your physical and mental health accomplishments. You can record your daily fitness and health goals, set daily priorities and check in with yourself.

      My Wellness Journal By Melissa Christie

      This focused journal helps you tap into your hormones so you can harness their power. Learn more about your cycle, track its symptoms, note your meals, water intake and movement patterns. There are tons of prompts for reflections and making sense of things—an all-in-one health journal.

      The Manifestation Journal By Gill Thackray

      Manifestation is having its moment and you can harness its energy by learning to lean into what sets you on fire and how to manifest what you want. Learn about your fears and how to rise above them with this book, by mindfulness teacher and psychologist Gill Thackray.

      READ MORE: 15 Best Journalling Apps To Start The New Year With More Mindfulness

      The Anti-Burnout Journal By Bex Spiller

      You don’t need to start this journal on the 1st of January. It spans 12 weeks, and with it, you can learn about what causes prolonged stress and take charge of it. It spans 12 weeks with weekly lessons and challenges to help beat burnout, delivered through the pages of the journal alongside an online dashboard with lifetime access to video lessons in yoga, mindfulness, meditation, nutrition and breath work.

      The Wellbeing Journal By MIND

      This journal, created in partnership with MIND, the mental health charity, spans pages and pages of helpful, productive prompts that allow you to express yourself. Find colouring pages, drawing prompts and contemplative quotes within the pages and journal yourself to mental health.

      One Question A Day By Aimee Chase

      This five-year journal serves as a time capsule for your brain. Answer just one question every day and after a while, look back on this book and be taken by what your life looked like, what you thought, how you felt, how your world was shaped. Plus, when you’re faced with a blank page, it can be that much harder to pencil your thoughts. This book takes that intimidation away.

      READ MORE: 5 Morning Routines That Actually Work, According To Science

      Do It For Yourself By Kara Cutruzzula

      Made by creativity and productivity expert Kara Cutruzzula, this book is a go-getter’s manual. Find 75 thought-provoking prompts and work through the stages of getting going, building momentum and overcoming setbacks. It also encourages mindfulness through every word written.

      Life Balance: A Journal of Self-Discovery By Robie Rogge and Dian G Smith

      Finding balance is the MO of this reflective journal. In it, you can pose yourself questions like, ‘What threw me off today?’ ‘Am I off-balance?’, among others. A helpful place to touch base and slow down, mindfully.

      One Line A Day By Chronicle Books

      Take the work out of being mindful by writing just one line a day. This is for busy people who still would like to reflect, as well as for anyone else. It’s also great for looking back and reflecting on what was going on in years past. Capture your memories any way you’d like, using photos, drawings or paint. Each page is thoughtfully made for your creations.

      So Calm Fitness & Wellness Journal

      With this book, you can track your wellness but also set intentions, take note of what feels good and reflect on your goals, habits, meals and more. A helpful companion.

      I Am Grateful By Typo

      Creating more gratitude in your life can boost your contentment and happiness, per studies. This year-long journal helps you do just that with simple prompts that allow you to write, draw and express your feelings every day. It’s undated so could work at any given time.

      The Morning Journal By My Self Love Supply

      This hit Insta account, with over 3 million fans on Instagram, now has a journal for harnessing your mornings and taking the power of the day for yourself. Find gentle prompts to understand your needs, with reflective as well as planning pages.

      READ MORE: Are Wellness Shots With Turmeric, Ginger, Or ACV Actually Good For You? A Dietician Weighs In

      Becoming: A Guided Journal For Discovering Your Voice By Michelle Obama

      You’ve read the book, now use her smarts to direct your path with this voice-finding journal. Find inspiring quotes and prompts to help you discover your story. It’s a journal for doing the deep inner work and finding yourself through these reflections. A powerful tool.

      I Am Here Now By The Mindfulness Project

      By working through these pages, you can harness mindfulness and bring a new awareness to your senses, thoughts and emotions. The pages help you practise meditation with an audio track guided by internationally renowned mindfulness teacher Tara Brach.

      Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More

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      Beat The Burn: Your Essential Guide To A Heartburn-Free Summer!

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      As we enter the festive season, prioritising our health becomes paramount, and unravelling the intricacies of our well-being takes precedence. Acknowledging this, Adcock Ingram, a prominent pharmaceutical company, proudly lends its support to shed light on Gastro-oesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD), a common yet frequently underestimated health issue.

      Experiencing frequent heartburn can significantly impact your everyday activities. Finding effective remedies for heartburn can be a game-changer for individuals managing Gastro-oesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD). Among various interventions, adopting a diet that includes foods to alleviate heartburn is a natural and sustainable approach.

      READ MORE: Apple Cider Vinegar Might Actually Help Your Heartburn

      Implementing specific lifestyle and dietary adjustments can frequently provide relief from Gastro-oesophageal Reflux Disease (GORD) symptoms. For mild symptoms, attempting these heartburn remedies before consulting a medical professional is an option. However, if your symptoms are more severe, it’s advisable to consult your doctor before making any changes. They can guide you on integrating these approaches into your personalised treatment plan.

      Tips For A Heartburn-Free Summer

      Tip 1: Stay active and maintain a healthy weight

      Regular physical activity and maintaining a healthy weight can significantly reduce your risk of GORD.

      Tip 2: Opt for smaller, frequent meals

      Instead of three large meals, go for smaller, more frequent meals. This can ease the pressure on your stomach.

      Tip 3: Trim the fat

      Cut back on high-fat foods like full-fat dairy products and fatty meats. Choose leaner options for a healthier gut.

      Tip 4: Mind your posture

      Sit or stand upright while eating and continue to do so for 45 to 60 minutes after your meal to minimise reflux risk.

      Tip 5: Dine early

      Avoid eating right before bedtime. Give yourself at least three hours before you hit the hay.

      READ MORE: The Ultimate Training Guide For Your Gut

      Dr Thiruvasan Govindsamy, Head of Medical Affairs at Adcock Ingram, says, “Understanding the symptoms and impact of GORD is vital for early intervention. It is essential for individuals to be aware of the potential complications and the available treatment options. Seeking medical advice plays a pivotal role in managing GORD effectively.”

      Visit www.heartburn24.com to learn more. More

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      If The Festive Season Stresses You Out, Try These Psychologist-Backed Coping Strategies

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      It’s the end of the year and that means summer holidays, late nights, family gatherings — you know the drill. And it can all feel pretty overwhelming, right? Know first, that you’re not alone. Per Harvard Medical School, 62% of survey respondents felt somewhat stressed or experienced elevated stress levels over the festive season.

      Noa Belling, somatic psychologist and best-selling author of The Mindful Body has simple, smart strategies to help you make it through festive season stress, emotionally and physically unscathed.

      Scenario: The Office Party

      You feel: Overwhelmed. 

      It’s loud. It’s crowded. You’re tired and overwhelmed. Belling suggests you go for a brief mindful walk. “The movement can be calming and will help you reconnect with yourself. This works because when you drop attention down into your body and away from your thoughts of being overwhelmed, you ground and centre yourself,” she explains.

      As you walk, take a few deep breaths and let go of thoughts of the party and people. Massage any tense areas in your body and do a few stretches to loosen up. “Dropping attention into our bodies in a supportive, nurturing kind of way can promote feel-good hormones to help you feel more comfortable. It can also free your brain to think more clearly,” says Noa.

      READ MORE: It’s Official: Stress Makes Us Crave Junk Food

      Scenario: A Family Gathering

      You feel: Defensive.

      Family gatherings can be stressful, especially when there’s unresolved tension, but remember compassion: to yourself and your family. “Pause to use self-supportive touch, such as placing a hand or even just a couple of fingers on your chest or over your heart. This can be a tangible reminder of compassion that you can direct as you choose. Assisted by the release of oxytocin through touch, which ignites feelings of nurturing and care, you can be reminded to take care of yourself. You might even feel inclined to extend kindness and care to others too because oxytocin also inspires this,” explains Belling.

      Scenario: You Over-Indulged

      You feel: Guilty.

      There’s food everywhere!? It’s hard not to overindulge. And if you did, you need to let the feelings of guilt and shame go. “Feelings of shame, self-criticism, inadequacy and guilt can have the same effect on us as trauma. They can cause us to freeze up inside. This can make us really anxious or we can succumb to feeling down, helpless and hopeless. The effect on our brains is to cut us off from our ability to see a bigger picture and to access higher-level thinking like rationality, creativity and insight,” says Belling.

      Basically, you start to feel stuck when you dwell on the negative. Best way to get past this? Exercise. “Moving our bodies gets oxygen and blood flowing to wake up and energise body and mind,” says Belling. “Make time for a walk, run, swim, cycle, yoga class or whatever you prefer. This can build your sense of personal strength with a boost of feel-good motivation. Reaching out to someone who cares for support and to talk some sense into you can also help.”

      READ MORE: 10 Best Essential Oils To Help Relieve Anxiety and Stress

      Scenario: There’s Activity Overload

      You feel: Exhausted.

      With festive season stress, you might feel run down and out of touch with yourself from all the socialising and attending to others’ needs. To combat this, take some time out for yourself. “Focus on doing something you love and something your body needs, whether that’s activity or rest,” says Belling. “Make a priority of going to the gym, a yoga class, reading in your favourite quiet place, meditating, gardening, being creative in your own way or whatever feeds you.” More

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      How To Reflect On The Year You’ve Had – And Prepare For The Year Ahead

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      The end of the year brings a time to press pause and look back on your time in the sun. But learning to reflect on the year you’ve had takes a bit more skill than just writing down a few thoughts. We’ve spoken to Hilary Davies, Social Psychologist and Development Coach,  about how to structure your reflections in a productive way that brings about actionable results. “It is important to spend time thinking about the future to be clear about what we want to do and how we want to be. As we strategise for the future, we create an outline of what we are working towards, be it in our personal or professional lives,” says Davies. 

      Why you should reflect on the year 

      It’s a time to learn 

      “Firstly, reflection is a key component of adult learning, giving us the time to explore our lived experiences and understand them in retrospect rather than in the moment,” says Davies. “This often means we have more information and fewer emotions that may be influencing our responses.”

      It boosts self-awareness 

      “Reflection can also teach us about ourselves and increase our self-awareness, especially linked to emotional and subconscious influences. Reflecting on how we felt in the moment, what was driving that emotion or behaviour, and understanding our triggers gives us a greater ability to manage how we respond in future,” says Davies. 

      You’ll fine-tune a new mindset

      “Reflection on positive situations can create sensations of gratitude and well-being, which in turn have a positive impact on how we show up in the present,” says Davies. “Similarly, reflection on negative situations can help motivate us to create change in our lives. We often get stuck in repetitive cycles of behaviour and thought patterns that become automatic. Reflection can help us to take a step back from the “as is” and explore how we can be more intentional about what we do.”

      READ MORE: 11 Ways To Get More Energy When You’re Feeling Tired

      Reflecting 101: Your Guide 

      “The overall process for reflection and strategizing can be compared to planning a road trip,” says Davies. In this way, ask yourself probing questions that frame the year and you can start working forward from there. 

      Ask yourself questions 

      What did you enjoy? Was there anything you did not enjoy? What could you have done differently? Per a Harvard Business School study, three themes that shape what executives in business reflect on are failure, success and frustration. Tap into these themes in your reflections to uncover some truths that could help you shape your future. 

      Decide your new direction  

      If you compare a year’s reflection like you would a trip, you can strategise your moves, says Davies. For example, ask yourself where you want to go and what you’d like to do. Is it something new? What kind of information do you need to get to this new destination? How long do you plan on being there? Do you need a budget of sorts? 

      READ MORE: How To Really Harness Self-Care

      Plan your next steps 

      Now, you can break down your goals into bite-sized steps that will help direct your path. What would you need before embarking on this trip? 

      Change gears if you need to 

      “The most important part to remember is that once you are driving, you can decide to change your destination or the route to get there. In the same way, in real life you can continue the process of reflection and adjusting the strategy,” says Davies. “Reflection is a continuous process that helps us to optimise our decisions and behaviours in the moment so that you can get the most from whatever you’re doing.”

      Don’t hold yourself back 

      When you reflect on the year, be careful not to criticise yourself too much, cautions Davies. “We should not be overly self-critical – reflection is a learning opportunity, not a chance to beat yourself up. To do this, it is important to adopt a growth mindset,” says Davies. “If you find yourself being overly self-critical during reflection, think about what you would say to a friend in the same situation as you. Remember – we all do the best we can with what we have at the moment.”

      Look at things holistically 

      Whatever happened in the year, remember that things don’t work in isolation. Various factors influence the happenings in our lives and we only have a finite amount of resources. “If you feel like you didn’t achieve what you wanted to in one area, look at the big picture. Did you overachieve in another?” asks Davies. “The key is to remember to find balance. If your reflective strategy focuses entirely on work, be aware of how this may impact your relationships with friends and family.

      READ MORE: Enjoy Your Downtime (Without Feeling Guilty) In 3 Easy Steps

      Get realistic 

      When planning ahead and reflecting, it’s important to stay grounded and realistic. You want to strive towards things that you can achieve so that you don’t get burned out, says Davies. “Health and wellbeing, both mental and physical, are two of the most important life areas that often get overlooked as we focus our attention on other areas where we are seeking achievement or success.” Be mindful of how much time and energy you have.  Is it realistic to achieve everything in all aspects of your life?”

      Prepare for change

      Change is most successful if we’ve taken the time to prepare properly for it. If, say, your new goal is to ace a 10K run, prepare to make changes to your lifestyle to incorporate the training. “To train for the 10km run,  you may need to start getting up an hour earlier.  You may have to change our diet as we need more fuel,” explains Davies. “Understanding the future situation helps us prepare for the change we are about to make, both practically and mentally. Physical preparation helps us remove friction from the change – we know we need to get up earlier so we start going to be earlier, or we put the running clothes out the night before. Mental preparation is important so that we can manage any negative thoughts that create resistance to change. This is where mindset, agility and resilience are key in achieving our desired future.”

      Hilary Davies is a Social Psychologist and Development Coach, supporting people in their personal and professional development to adopt change, find purpose and fulfil their potential. She also specialises in Gender Transformation consultancy, addressing social barriers in organisations that limit women’s growth. You can find her at www.hedcoaching.com or on LinkedIn.  More

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      in health and weelbeing

      12 Ways To Boost Your Libido And Have A More Satisfying Sex Life, According To Experts

      by

      POV: You’re reminiscing about your first few dates with your long-term partner. You know, the time when you used to bonk like bunnies? Back then, it was physically impossible to keep your hands off each other, but now the idea of engaging in spontaneous lovemaking with your S.O. sounds, well, meh.

      If you can relate, you may be going through a period of low sex drive, also known as low libido.

      Biological Factors

      Libido is affected by a combination of biological, psychological and social factors known as the biopsychosocial model, says gynaecologist Dr. Alyssa Dweck, MD. “Bio-” refers to medical conditions such as: diabetes, heart disease and some cancers—essentially anything that can cause hormonal or blood flow changes, all of which can influence sexual drive, Dweck explains. Vaginal pain associated with intercourse (i.e., vaginismus) as well as ageing can also influence libido, adds double-certified gynaecologist Dr. Monica Grover, DO.

      Psychological Factors

      Meanwhile, the “psycho” part of this model is in reference to your emotional well-being and any mental health issues that may impact your libido. For example, depression and anxiety as well as history of abuse or trauma—sexual or otherwise—can impact your sex drive, says Dweck.

      Meet the experts: Alyssa Dweck, MD, is a practising gynaecologist and co-author of three books, including The Complete A to Z for Your V: A Women’s Guide to Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Your Vagina. Monica Grover, DO, is a double-certified gynaecologist and the chief medical officer for VSPOT. Rachel Smith, LMFT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist.

      Social Factors

      Finally, “-social” is all about your relationship with sex and others. Cultural upbringing, religion and value systems influence people’s general thoughts about sex and how they specifically engage with it, explains Dweck. And when it comes to romantic relationships, if there’s conflict or difficulty, a couple’s libido will certainly be affected, she adds.

      Despite these barriers to entry (get it?), there is a way out of this sexual rut.

      If you’ve recently been feeling unsatisfied with your libido, sex experts are here to help. Ahead, they break down some possible reasons for why your sex drive is low and offer some tried-and-true tips for boosting your libido, so you can access pleasure once again.

      What’s considered a “normal” sex drive?

      Before getting into the nitty-gritty of why your sex drive might not be as high as you’d like, first, let’s settle what a normal sex drive is. The short answer: There is no “normal.”

      “Libido naturally varies from person-to-person and changes throughout your life,” explains Grover. What’s “normal” to you might not be normal for someone else, because your sex drive depends on your lifestyle and preferences, she adds.

      For example, someone who grew up in a household where sex was “taboo” and considered shameful might have a different desire for sex compared to someone who was raised in a sex-positive environment. “The messages that you heard about sex and sexuality and what it is and what it means all greatly impact your desire and openness to sex,” says certified sex therapist Rachel Smith, LMFT. So there is no normal; instead, you have to allow the time and space to check in and define for yourself how you wish—and not wish—to engage with sex, she adds.

      “The most important thing when we talk about normalcy is whether somebody is distressed about their drive,” says Dweck. Some people have a fairly low sex drive as their baseline and don’t feel distressed by it, i.e. it’s not hindering their quality of life. Others, however, are very affected by the number of times they have sex or think about sex, she adds, and for those people, some sort of intervention may be helpful.

      While no “normal” sex drive exists, it’s not abnormal for yours to change due to life experiences. As women age, especially during the menopausal period, their sex drive may diminish, explains Dweck. And when it comes to social factors such as relationships, “it’s also not unusual if somebody’s in a very long-term, albeit very happy relationship, that they may have a lower [sex] drive, either as a result of boredom or being stuck in a routine,” Dweck adds.

      Why is my sex drive so low?

      You already know sex drive is determined by a combination of biological, psychological and social factors, but ahead, the experts outline some specific physical and mental health barriers that might have you feeling bleh about making your bedrock:

      Physical Causes of Low Sex Drive

      Sexual dysfunction

      “Sexual dysfunction is a problem that can happen during any phase of the sexual response cycle,” says Grover. Some intercourse-related issues that may decrease one’s libido include: a history of painful sex (i.e., dyspareunia or genital pain either before, during, or after sex), vaginal dryness, vaginismus and/or problems reaching orgasm, according to Grover. All of these conditions “can create anxiety surrounding sex and lead to a decrease in sexual desire,” she explains.

      Reproductive health conditions

      Conditions such as endometriosis, premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) can also negatively impact libido due to the hormonal changes and imbalances associated with them, says Grover.

      Medications

      Certain prescription drugs, especially a specific class of antidepressants known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), are known to decrease sex drive, explains Grover. These drugs impact your ability to access the hormones and neurotransmitters important for experiencing sexual pleasure, says Smith. “[Certain] antipsychotics and even medications for ADHD” can also lower libido, Grover adds.

      Fatigue

      Studies have shown that poor sleep can induce adrenal fatigue and increase cortisol levels, which can diminish sexual desire, says Grover.

      Ageing and hormonal changes

      “Changes in estrogen and testosterone levels greatly affect someone’s libido,” says Grover. Some hormonal changes associated with ageing include pregnancy and menopause, both of which can influence sex drive.

      Pregnancy and postpartum

      “Hormone changes during pregnancy, just after having a baby and nursing can put a damper on sex drive,” Grover says. Not to mention, fatigue, changes in body image and the pressures of caring for a child can also contribute to a decrease in sexual desire, she adds.

      Menopause

      During the transition into menopause, estrogen levels drop, explains Grover. This can cause vaginal dryness, resulting in painful and uncomfortable sex, making you less interested in intercourse, she adds.

      Exercise

      Both too much or too little physical activity can cause a decrease in sex drive, according to Grover and a study published in Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise.

      Stress

      “Stress tends to be one of the number one killers of libido,” explains Smith. And while stress is a mental health-related issue, it’s also a physical health issue as “when cortisol levels go up, sex hormone levels go down,” she says.

      Mental Health Causes of Low Sex Drive

      Anxiety and depression

      Apart from the SSRIs used to treat these mental health conditions, anxiety and depression themselves interfere with your hormone levels, resulting in a lower libido. “Anxiety can cause increased levels of cortisol, or the ‘stress hormone,’ and high levels of cortisol can suppress the sex hormones that impact your sex drive,” explains Grover. Depression, for its part, can cause an imbalance of the neurotransmitters that help regulate libido, Grover adds. And, in general, physical fatigue, low self-esteem and feelings of hopelessness—all symptoms of depression—can decrease sex drive, she says.

      History of trauma

      Experiencing trauma, especially of the sexual variety (i.e., sexual harassment, sexual abuse, or rape), can negatively impact one’s desire for sex, explains Grover.

      Relationship problems

      Issues in a romantic relationship play a major part in decreasing sex drive, says Grover. “Problems with communication, trust or intimacy, are among the most common causes of a low libido,” she explains. While sex is a physical act, there’s no denying the vital role having an emotional connection plays in forming one’s desire for sex. “If you don’t feel safe, secure, cared for, seen, heard, or supported, then you’re less likely to take next steps in terms of intimacy,” says Smith. On the flip side, if the emotional bond is there, but you’re not finding the sex you’re having with your partner particularly pleasurable or enjoyable, that can also negatively impact your libido, she adds.

      Low self-esteem

      How you feel in your body plays a significant role in your openness and ability to access sexual desire, says Smith. “If one’s not comfortable in their own skin, how can they invite someone else in to share in that experience [of sex]?” she asks. The answer: It’s quite difficult (but not impossible—more on that in a sec).

      How can I increase my sex drive?

      Now that you know why your engine isn’t revving the way it used to, what can you do to step on the gas, so to speak? Ahead, these 12 expert-approved tips can help your sex drive go from zero to 60 (vroom vroom!).

      1. Get checked up.

      “Number one, get a medical checkup,” says Dweck. You want to make sure there’s no medical issue or medication that’s screwing with your libido. So, check in with your gynae or a specialist in hormonal changes to either figure out if that’s the cause or cross it off the list.

      2. Implement healthier lifestyle choices.

      Perhaps this comes as no surprise, but the consumption of alcohol and tobacco can negatively impact your sex drive, according to previous studies and research. So while it’s easier said than done—especially in the case of addiction—try your hardest to cut back on these substances.

      And if you’re always tired when it’s time to wriggle in between the sheets, consider getting more sleep and/or levelling up your exercise routine—or the opposite, working out less. Switching up your schedule might help you find your sexy sweet spot.

      3. Manage your stress and anxiety.

      Stress and anxiety increase cortisol levels, which in turn lower your libido. So to improve your sex drive, try to manage your stress and anxiety levels, says Grover.

      You may even consider indulging in some self-care—both after a stressful day and before engaging in sex. Maybe you take a bubble bath after work to open yourself up and alleviate the stress from the day, says Smith.

      4. Prioritize your mental health.

      If a history of sexual trauma is getting in the way of your ability to access pleasure, consider getting assistance to help you treat that trauma, depression, or anxiety, says Glover.

      You may want to speak to a licensed psychotherapist who specialises in your specific type of trauma—or, better yet, a sex therapist that can walk you through releasing any feelings of shame or embarrassment regarding sex and self-pleasure.

      5. Discover your desire style.

      Smith explains that there are two desire types: spontaneous and responsive. Spontaneous desire is what’s typically shown in movies and media; it describes someone who feels a mental or emotional need for sex, first, to which their body quickly responds to thereafter, she says. People with this desire style operate like a “light switch,” Smith explains.

      “Sex is more on the forefront of their minds—they’re probably initiating sex more often because it’s more readily available to them.”

      Those with responsive desire, however, need the physical arousal, first, then the mental and emotional wanting of sex comes after, explains Smith. “This is like the dimmer switch.” These people need to be in sexual experiences for the desire for sex to click in their mind, she adds. They’re not often initiating sex, but when they’re in the thick of it, they’re thinking, “This is great.”

      Arousal—the physiological response to sexual stimuli—often follows desire—the wanting of sex—so it’s important to get acquainted with your desire style in order to figure out what it is that you—and your sexual partner—need to get it on.

      Of course, it’s true that if you don’t want sex, you shouldn’t have it, but this thinking can sometimes be a disservice to those with responsive desire, says Smith. “As long as sex is consensual, you don’t have to want sex to have sex, actually,” she says. For those with responsive desire, it’s quite the opposite as their desire starts from a place of willingness versus wanting.

      6. Figure out your turn-ons and turn-offs.

      You can’t communicate what your sexual needs are with a partner if you, yourself, don’t know your accelerators—turns ons—and brakes—turn offs.

      “And that’s really the only way—through being able to communicate with your partner—that you’re going to learn how to develop good sex or experience a positive, pleasurable sexual experience,” says Smith.

      Smith explains that, in this society, the responsibility to discover your turn-ons and turn-offs is put on partners, when really it’s your own responsibility to figure out what helps you achieve orgasm. One way to figure out what gets you to a big O is through self-pleasure, of course. But yet another way…

      7. Explore erotic content.

      Not only does engaging with X-rated videos and books help you see what might turn you on, but it also assists in getting love on the brain, á la Rihanna. “This is called bibliotherapy, which is just a fancy way of saying using tools like videos or texts to try to get sexual thoughts on the brain,” says Dweck. “The more this is done on a voluntary basis, the more [the desire for sex] will become spontaneous.”

      8. Work on your emotional connection.

      In order to have a strong sexual connection, you first need to develop a strong emotional bond. If you’re feeling uncared for by your S.O., then you’re most likely not going to want to get in between the sheets with them.

      Make sure you’re feeling safe and secure and you can trust your partner and then the rest will follow, says Smith.

      9. Schedule sex.

      Truthfully, when you’re always busy with work schedules, chores and childcare, it can be hard to, uh, get in the mood. One solution: Put “sex” on the Google Calendar.

      For long-term couples, especially, having a convenient, dedicated time to involve yourself in intimacy can help alleviate some of the stress and pressure of keeping the spark alive, says Dweck.

      10. Spend more time on foreplay.

      A huge influence to a low sex drive, especially for long-term couples, is boredom and being stuck in a rut or routine. To get out of that vicious cycle of just “hitting it and quitting it” and re-access pleasure, Grover recommends spending more time getting each other warmed up before heading into the main event.

      You might even consider trying out a new sex move you learned from an erotic video or bringing in sex toys like nipple clamps or a magic wand.

      11. Get rid of expectations.

      Many times folks are so focused on how they “should” be showing up sexually or how their body appears in the heat of the moment that they aren’t present enough to fully enjoy themselves and be in connection with their partner, explains Smith. Sex thus becomes something pressure-inducing, rather than something enjoyable.

      To increase your desire for sex and reach peak pleasure, Smith recommends “slowing down and smelling the roses.” In other words, alleviate the pressure to perform a certain way.

      Think of sex not as something you do, but as a place you go to be together and have a different experience, she says. Once you’re able to put all of that other stuff aside, then you’re truly able to experience the connection that’s available.

      12. Consider a medical intervention.

      If your low sex drive is really causing you distress and you’re discovering that none of these natural remedies are working for you, medical intervention is an option, says Dweck.

      In the end, if you’re not satisfied with where your libido is at right now, just know there’s hope. Through open communication, some self-exploration and self-care and a caring partner, you’re sure to find a frequency—plus, some new sex moves—that will make you both happy and (consensually) handsy.

      This story was written by Naydeline Mejia and was first published on womenshealthmag.com More