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    The Best Life Lessons You Learn in Your 20s, According to a Therapist

    Your 20s are known as a time of self-discovery, when we learn countless life lessons (like what kind of job you want, where you want to live, and who you do not want to date). For many people, a crucial part of that self-discovery is therapy, especially during a defining decade with so many life changes. So who better to ask what our 20s are all about than a therapist herself? Kristen Gingrich LCSW, CADC, CCS, a licensed therapist known for her “no B.S. approach” to therapy and mental health, is beloved by her Instagram and TikTok communities for being the go-to voice for Gen-Z and Millennials alike. As a 20-something myself, I had to grill her for all the best lessons she learned in her 20s. Here’s what she said:

    Meet the expert
    Kristen Gingrich LCSW, CADC, CCS
    Licensed Therapist
    Kristen is a modern therapist and mental health content creator who makes popular TikToks under the handle @NotYourAverageThrpst.

    1. “People may never be what you expect them to be (good and bad)”
    In your 20s, you might realize that what you thought you knew about the world and people you idolized may be wrong. You may learn things you were sheltered from as a kid, you might grow apart from friends or family members, and you could be let down by people you thought would never let you down. But this is true for the reverse too: You’ll learn that “Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a lesson you were taught as a kid, but you really start to learn it in your 20s. For example, the people you thought you would never get along with might become your best friends or the job you always thought was never for you might be exactly what you want. Let people (and situations) show you who they are and don’t judge anything or anyone before giving them a chance. 

    2. “Healing takes time—sometimes even more time than it took to cause the hurt”
    You may feel impatient to be healed or move on from pain in your life, but you will probably still have moments where it comes back up. “We get so focused on wanting to feel better now and we want the pain gone now, but it takes a lot of unlearning,” Gingrich said. “Many of us have a lot of learned behaviors we’ve used to protect ourselves after we experience hurt, so it takes time to change those behaviors.” Healing isn’t linear, and you have to be active in your healing. Instead of hoping to just get over it or try to forget about it, think of healing as an active practice. Go to therapy, identify how to care for yourself, seek out support from the people you love, and forgive who you need to (including yourself). 

    3. “You can find your family in other relationships”
    Of course family is important, but the good thing about growing up, moving out of your home, and meeting a lot of new people is that you can find your family in other people besides who you are biologically related to. Gingrich reminds her clients that your 20s are the perfect time to reassess your familial relationships. Are there boundaries you want to set in order to protect your own well-being or maybe even relationships you need to put less energy into? We often feel obligation to our family members, but in reality, our #1 priority should be to live our happiest, truest life and not to follow through on familial responsibilities. Bottom line: Family is defined by the people who love who you truly are and make you feel happy. 

    4. “Comparison really is the thief of joy”
    Gingrich spent a lot of her life comparing herself to everyone else, asking, “Why am I not as smart, skinny, or pretty as this other person?” like most of us do. But while middle school and high school might have taught you to fit in, your 20s can teach you to just be OK with who you are. “I’m awesome, I love myself, and I have bad days,” Gingrich said. “But now, I own who I am and there is no one else like me, so comparing myself to someone else is a waste of my time.” Of course, avoiding comparisons to other people, whether its in appearance, personality, career, or even financial status, takes a lot of practice and mindfulness, but the good news (as Gingrich assured me) is that it gets easier as you get older. 

    5. “You won’t always have your shit together”
    When we’re 18 years old, we’re told to figure out what we want to do for the rest of our lives. How can anyone be expected to make that decision when they’re so young—or really at any point in their lives when we should always be growing? “I thought I would have my shit together when I was in my 20s, but now I don’t even know what ‘having my shit together’ means,” Gingrich said. Especially in the age of social media, we think everyone else has their shit together because of all the posted curated content that makes us think they look better, eat better, live in nicer homes, or are happier. In reality, everyone else is just as much of a hot mess as you are (promise!). 

    6. “It’s OK to ask for help”
    Gingrich recalled always feeling uncomfortable being a “burden” by asking for help. Therapy helped her realized the people in her life want to be there for her. The same way we want to be there to support our loved ones, they want to be there for us too. However, the key is not to have a significant other, best friend, or even your mom be your entire support system. Build a support system of multiple people you trust, and identify who can help in different ways. For example, your significant other might be able to be there for you when you need a laugh and de-stress, your mom might be great at career advice when you’re feeling lost, and your therapist is who you go to with any anxiety that comes up. Be OK asking for help, but ask for help and seek support from more than one person. 

    7. “No one judges you nearly as often as you think they do”
    Get ready for an ego check: Feeling insecure about the zit on your chin and don’t want to go in public? No one is going to see, care about, or think about the zit as much as you think they will. If you’re worrying about a conversation you had or overthinking a drunken night out, nobody cares about your actions that much—in the best way possible. Your loved ones care about you emotionally, but they do not care about the zit on your chin or overthink something you said during an intoxicated night out. If you’re worried about feeling judged, remember that everyone else is too busy worrying about what other people are thinking of them to overthink you too. 

    8. “You might become an entirely different person in your 20s (and that’s a good thing!)”
    If you’re continuing to grow your entire life (as we are all meant to), you will probably be very different year to year and decade to decade. But you might notice an even greater transformation in your 20s when you’re moving away from home, starting a family, graduating college, getting in more serious relationships, or progressing through your career. Maybe you even look back on vintage Facebook posts from when you were younger and feel embarrassed about what you posted or cannot believe you used to act or look the way you did as a kid. Maybe a younger version of you wouldn’t believe where you are (or who you are) today. Gingrich believes that your 20s are when you learn the most about yourself, so you are growing into more of who you’re meant to be. “Screw what anyone thinks of you and be authentically you!”

    9. “Teenage you lied—30 isn’t old”
    Gingrich laughed that while she sleeps a little more and hangovers don’t roll off as easily as they did at 21, you don’t finally feel “grown up” when you hit 30 like you thought you would as a teenager. Your 30s are not when you magically hit that picket-white-fence life or feel established in your career. You are still learning, growing, and having fun at 30. You learn so much in your 20s, but it doesn’t stop on your 30th birthday. People are always changing, growing, and learning life lessons through every decade. 

    5 Things My Therapist Taught Me About Self-Love More

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    I Achieved My Health Resolutions in 2021—Here Are The Habits That Helped Me Do It

    The past five Januarys of my life feel like they were full of the same blind optimism, followed by feeling like I was a failure for not achieving the health resolutions I had my heart set on during those first hopeful days of the year—until 2021.
    While I never planned to be someone who worked remotely, having a full calendar year of working from home freed up time in my schedule that used to be spent commuting and at the office, and it left me with the opportunity to prioritize the things I previously hadn’t. No longer were dinners whatever would be the quickest to eat because I was so ravenous when I rushed in the door at night. Now, I had time and energy to give to my health that I just didn’t before—and for the first time, I felt like I ended a year healthier than when I started it.
    Looking back, I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself about resolutions that—let’s face it—nobody really keeps and would have prioritized small, tangible steps instead. But now that I’m on the other side, I’m keeping up with the things I learned that helped me and dropping the things that didn’t. These are the five habits that got me there and that I’m sticking with in 2022:

    1. I prepped ingredients, not meals
    I always thought that the quickest way to eating healthy was to meal prep, but after years of being on and off about it, I realized that for me, it was the quickest way to dread meals.
    Rather than eating the same thing every day and having a four-day-old meal that needs to be eaten on Thursday, I started planning what I’d eat and prepping ingredients instead. If I knew I’d be making a stir fry, on Sunday after I grocery shopped, I’d take the time to pre-chop the ingredients I needed and then would make the meal right before I wanted to eat it. Not only does this make my cooking take half the time, but it also allows me to actually enjoy what I’m eating.

    2. I snacked more consciously
    One of my biggest pitfalls when it comes to health is that I’m a huge snacker, and those snacks aren’t usually healthy. When I was busy and didn’t have time to sit down for a meal, I’d grab whatever was easiest and get on with my day. While I absolutely still snack, I’ve changed what I eat when I snack, and it’s made all the difference.
    Rather than following my instinct of reaching for carbs, I’ve made it a priority that when I snack, it’s on fruit, protein, or fats, so I’m left actually feeling full. I always keep cheddar cheese sticks and single-serve guac packets to dip carrots and celery into that I actually look forward to eating when I need to reach for something, and I’ve found that they’re the things that keep me fullest. Being more strategic about what I snack on rather than trying to cut it out altogether (which wouldn’t be realistic for me) has completely changed how I feel throughout the day in ways I didn’t expect it to.

    3. I was easier on myself
    I promise this is something I rolled my eyes at prior to last year, but by practicing it (often not by choice), I’ve been left a believer.
    I’ve always been consistent about working out—I tend to feel anxious and jittery when I don’t, which is enough to get me moving—but often times, I’d be too consistent. I’d exercise on days that my body was aching and sore and would force myself to get up and run on mornings I was hungover (which, you guessed it, usually makes for a pretty terrible run). 
    The thing was, even when I was doing that, I wasn’t seeing progress. Rather than focusing so intensely on getting a workout in every single day no matter what, I’ve given my body days to recover and been easier on myself on days that I just don’t feel like going to the gym. As a result, the workouts I do do are higher quality and more strategic, and I actually find myself looking forward to them more.
    When I stopped looking at it as something I had to do and instead looked at it as something I got to do, it completely changed how I felt. My body performs so much better now that it has time to rest and recover, and dropping the pressure I used to put on myself has left me healthier than ever.

    4. I fit in movement where I could
    The pandemic has taught me nothing if not the power that a good walk can have, and it’s made me have a complete 180 on my mindset about movement.
    Since I live alone and work from my apartment, I have to stay conscious about making sure I’m moving and getting out as much as I possibly can. On days when I don’t want to go for a run or head to the gym, I’ve learned to prioritize walking as much as I can. It’s easy for me since I have a dog that has to go out multiple times a day anyway, but I’ve turned my walks around the block into 20 or 30-minute ones where I listen to a podcast, and I’m always left feeling better—and it’s become a part of my routine I look forward to. Even on days I do go to the gym, I make sure I take my dog for a long walk at night to get fresh air and clear my head.
    Switching my mentality from requiring myself to do a hard workout in order to check exercise off my list to prioritizing movement when I can has made me enjoy it in ways that I never did before—and it has led to me moving more in the long run.

    5. I listened to my body
    In a past life, I exclusively worked out in the morning. In a lot of ways, it was great—I started off my day on the right foot and followed it up by showering and getting ready, and I loved the peace and quiet of exercising in the morning. But you know who didn’t love it? My body.
    When I didn’t work out in the morning, I would on my lunch break, and I noticed that when I exercised around that time instead, my body felt completely different. I’d run faster and longer and felt like I had the energy of 1,000 burning suns. I realized that when I started off my day with work, after a couple of hours, I felt so excited to move my body, I and was itching to get out and get a workout in. Finally, I wondered why I was abiding by my notion that working out in the morning was best for me and switched to lunch break workouts instead.
    Maybe you do work out your best in the morning, or maybe you love to work out at night after it’s dark, but figuring out the time that you’re the most motivated and feel your strongest is worth the effort. You shouldn’t be doing what you think you should be doing—you should be doing what works best for you and your body.

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    12 Reasons Why Your Lips Are Always Chapped

    Having chapped lips is one of those health annoyances that’s technically survivable, but can still make your life miserable. After all, dealing with dry lips is the opposite of fun — especially if they reach bleeding point.
    Here’s the thing: There’s a reason behind your super dehydrated lips. While it could be something as simple as not drinking enough water, licking your lips too much, or eating salty foods, the root cause can sometimes be an underlying health condition like sunburn, allergic reactions, or skin cancer. If that’s the case, no amount of lip balm — yep, even the really good stuff — is going to fix that.
    Before you panic, know this: “Most cases of chapped lips can be treated in just a few weeks without a dermatologist’s intervention,” says board-certified dermatologist Ife J. Rodney, MD, the founding director of Eternal Dermatology + Aesthetics and Professor of dermatology at Howard University and George Washington University. And sometimes peeling is just a side effect of the physiological makeup of your lips, according to Doris Day, MD, and Adam Friedman, MD.
    But it’s always a good idea to know how to tell if you’re dealing with your average dryness or something else. Dermatologists break down some of the biggest reasons for all that peeling and dryness and how to fix the situation ASAP.
    Why are my lips peeling so much?
    Lips are naturally dry. “Your lips don’t have oil glands,” says Dr Day. So, it can be very difficult for your lips to retain moisture (that’s why they don’t ever get pimples, btw!). The absence of oil glands also means that your lips do not produce natural moisturising factors, or elements that keep your skin’s outer layer protected and hydrated.
    In fact, your lips don’t have much of an outer layer at all. Dr Friedman points out that, unlike the rest of our skin, many areas of the lips do not have a stratum corneum (a.k.a. the top layer of skin). “This is kind of like our armor,” he says. “It’s an intricately woven barrier comprised of fats, proteins and dead skin cells.” This barrier is used to help protect the skin when it’s dry, and is also responsible for some of your body’s built-in UV protection. “It has an SPF of roughly five,” says Dr Friedman. (Who knew?)
    You can usually fix the situation in two weeks with the right lifestyle changes. “However, if you see no improvement or if your lips get progressively worse, you should consider seeing a dermatologist,” says Dr Rodney. If your lips are naturally dry, she recommends being on the lookout for consistent signs of bleeding, large cracks, fissures, pain, and peeling that don’t get better for several weeks. If you find yourself constantly peeling off the skin on your lips or the dryness does not seem to stop with a medicated balm, you may need to check in with your doctor.
    That said, there are other factors that could be contributing to your lips peeling — from diet to dire health conditions. Let’s talk through each one.
    1. Your diet consists of a lot of salty or spicy foods
    Big fan of snacks like pretzels or chips? They could be the reason for your peeling lips. Salty foods, particularly those that have a lot of salt on the outside that can end up on the lips, can definitely affect the skin in that area, says Dr Day. “Salt holds water, so it can absorb the water away from the lips and just dry them out,” she explains. Another food trigger? Spicy snacks. They can also cause skin irritation and water loss, adds Dr Day.
    Treat it: Steer clear of salty foods for a while and let your lips heal by using a paraffin wax-based lip balm.
    2. You’ve been licking your lips a bunch
    This is probably the worst thing you can do for dry lips, says Dr Friedman. “Saliva is comprised of enzymes that are meant to break down fats, proteins, and carbohydrates, which are what your lips are made of,” he says. “You are literally digesting your lips when you do that.”
    Treat it: Easy with the lip licking. Keep a lip moisturiser with you (in your pocket, gym bag, etc.) so that when you have the urge to lick, you swipe instead.
    3. You fried your lips in the sun
    Remember: Your lips are already missing that top later of skin with built-in UV protection. So if you’re out in the sun without an SPF lip balm on, chances are the skin on your lips will peel. “Sun cooks the water out of your skin and that can leave it drier in areas that are already naturally on the drier side,” says Dr Day. Plus, the inflammation from a sunburn can leave your lips peeling as skin cells turn over and try to replenish.
    Treat it: You can rely on some of your typical sunburn remedies for chapped lips as well (think: aloe and anti-inflammatory meds).
    4. You’re dehydrated
    Because of the quick turnover of skin cells on the lips, you’re more prone to dryness if you aren’t properly hydrated, explains Dr Rodney. Technically, this can happen any time of year, but it’s more common in the winter, when dry indoor air can zap your skin (including the one on your lips) of natural moisture.
    Treat it: Drink more water. The U.S. National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine recommends that women get about 11.5 cups of fluids a day, both from liquids and foods. Water is best, but other beverages count too.
    5. You’re constantly exposed to dry air
    Whether you live in an area with low humidity year round or you’re just sensitive to drops in moisture that can happen with the changing seasons, dry air could be why you have chapped lips. “The lack of moisture in the air, particularly in the winter, can cause dry lips,” says Dr Rodney.
    Treat it: You can only do so much about the air around you, but Dr Rodney recommends a humidifier — which is specially designed to infuse your surroundings with moisture. She suggests running one around you, especially at night and during the winter months, to get relief.
    6. Your medication is drying out your lips
    Certain medications can easily cause dry, peeling lips. Dr Friedman says this is a common complaint for many of his clients using acne meds. “I tell my patients who are on Accutane that that’s the number one side effect—dry, cracked lips,” he says. “I tell them that they should be using a lip balm so often that their friends should be asking them, ‘What the heck is in that stuff that you’re using it so much?’”
    It’s not just Accutane that can mess with your lips, though. These medications can also screw things up, according to Dr. Rodney:

    Chemotherapy drugs
    Common skincare ingredients like benzoyl peroxide, retinol, or salicylic acid
    Antidepressants
    Antihistamines
    Antibiotics
    Some OTC pain meds

    Treat it: First, talk to your doctor about whether the meds you’re taking could cause dry lips. If that’s the case and you can’t stop taking your medication, be sure to follow DrFriedman’s advice to apply a moisturising lip balm to combat the side effects. If the peeling gets more severe, a trip to your MD might be worth it to make sure you’re not allergic to something you’re using.
    7. You’re experiencing yeast overgrowth
    Do you have an underbite? Or maybe you drool in your sleep? These factors can cause yeast overgrowth (and in turn, a yeast infection in the mouth area). This type of infection can lead to dry, flaky skin around the mouth — and sometimes even fissuring (small cracks on the corners of the mouth), says Dr Day.
    Treat it: Like yeast infections anywhere else, a prescribed anti-fungal medication is your best bet. Consult a dermatologist.
    8. You have actinic cheilitis
    “This is a condition where the skin has been damaged from chronic sun exposure so much so that it can’t repair itself,” explains Dr Friedman. Actinic cheilitis is more common among older individuals.
    It’s this sort of long-term sun damage and inflammation on the lips that can lead to skin cancer. “In this kind of dry, cracked area, it’s very easy for skin cancers to emerge, and so we do see a lot of squamous cell carcinomas in older individuals on the lower lip because of that,” notes Dr Friedman. Actinic cheilitis is characterised by dryness and scaly patches or plaques, typically on the lower lip, as mentioned.
    Treat it: Treatment involves topical field therapy, or photodynamic light therapy, to either produce an immune response or kill off damaged skin cells. But first, your doctor will need to diagnose you via a skin biopsy.
    9. You have a vitamin deficiency
    “Various vitamin B deficiencies can result in dry, cracked, angry, red lips,” says Dr Friedman, and these are usually accompanied by a similar looking rash around the mouth. Dr Rodney points out that most cases come down to a B12 deficiency. This vitamin helps your body with cell growth, healing, and cell turnover — and a lack of B12 causes dryness and slows down healing, she explains.
    “A vitamin C deficiency can also cause chapped lips, but this is rarer since most diets contain the recommended daily intake of vitamin C,” adds Dr Rodney.
    Treat it: Through a blood test, your doctor will be able to determine what your exact vitamin deficiency is and prescribe necessary supplements (or suggest dietary adjustments) if you require them. If you’re lacking in B12, a B12 or B complex supplement can help get your levels back on track over time.
    10. You’re having an allergic reaction or irritant contact dermatitis
    An allergic reaction won’t only cause peeling, but also diffuse redness and swelling around the lips, says Dr Day. An allergic reaction is usually also itchy, rather than scaly. It could be caused by ingredients in your makeup, skincare, or even your toothpaste. “Cinnamic acid or cinnamon derivatives are a common allergen in toothpaste that people can get irritated lips from,” explains Dr. Friedman.
    Irritant contact dermatitis, on the other hand, is caused by friction on the lips, brought on by metal mouth implants like retainers. “Metal implants or various composites of dental implants can be a chronic source of lip peeling,” notes Dr Friedman.
    Treat it: A topical steroid or oral medication will usually do the trick for either issue.
    11. You have lichen planus
    Lichen planus is an inflammatory skin condition. It usually shows itself in the form of itchy, purple bumps on the body. “But it can also appear on the lips,” says Dr Friedman. And when it does, it usually shows up as purple or brownish cracked areas on the lips.
    Treat it: A prescribed anti-inflammatory or topical steroid will help.
    12. You have paraneoplastic pemphigus
    This is a *very* rare condition, but we’re covering all the bases here! Paraneoplastic pemphigus is an “autoimmune blistering disease associated with underlying cancer,” says Dr Friedman. While it can appear in the form of a skin rash, the hallmark of this condition is erosive oral disease. Ttalk to your doc if you think your lips are showing signs of something more serious and blistering. With this particular condition, your lips will typically crack open and bleed, causing sores, redness, and swelling around the mouth.
    Treat it: If you are diagnosed, your doctor will likely prescribe steroids and topical antibiotic ointment for the actual skin lesions and blisters and guide you through any other treatment necessary to address the underlying cancer if there is a malignancy. More

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    I’m a Health Coach—These Are the 20 Trader Joe’s Items I Always Buy

    Trader Joe’s is not just a grocery store. It’s our go-to for affordable wine (that will still impress guests), a favorite food sample destination (pre-pandemic, of course), America’s sweetheart of food stores, and my favorite place to score healthy products on a budget. Don’t get me wrong: I’ve had my fair share of emergency Cookie Butter runs, but I became a health coach because of my passion for nourishing myself with plants that make my body feel its best in a delicious and satisfying way (because food is meant to be enjoyed). Trader Joe’s is full of hidden treasures that are as delicious as they are nutritious. Here are the 20 items I always have stocked in my kitchen that make healthy eating a breeze:

    1. Jicama Wraps

    Maybe you’ve heard of jicama as a salad bar staple to add some crunch without the calories, but Trader Joe’s did the impossible (again!) and turned the root veggie into a tortilla. The best part? It is literally that one ingredient: jicama. Think of it as a combo of hard and soft corn tortillas with a bit of crunch but easy to bend and mold. The best part? You won’t have to think twice about having seconds or thirds on Taco Tuesday. 

    2. Green Goddess Salad Dressing

    I’m not usually a big fan of bottled salad dressings and much prefer to DIY with some olive oil and apple cider vinegar. However, sometimes I need a little change, and having an already-made delicious way to dress up greens for lunch can make all the difference in a stressful workday. Many salad dressings contain sneaky processed ingredients and added sugars, so I love this list of clean ingredients (avocado, fresh herbs, apple cider vinegar, garlic, etc.). Bonus: You can also use it as a dip or pasta sauce to sneak in the extra clean ingredients for little picky eaters (and no shame if “little picky eaters” means you and not your kids).  

    3. Dark Chocolate Drizzled Plantain Chips

    If you have a major sweet tooth or crave dark chocolate on the regular, I’m about to change your life. This TJ’s item has become one of my favorite go-to’s for both healthy snacking and desserts. With only 4 grams of sugar and a decently clean list of ingredients that combines chips (made out of bananas) and chocolate, this bag is the perfect way to satisfy your sweet tooth in a healthier way while simultaneously satisfying your snacking craving for all things salty and crispy. Satisfying two cravings at once? That’s the Trader Joe’s genius. 

    4. Coconut Aminos Seasoning Sauce

    If you’re a soy sauce lover, it’s about time you hop on the coconut aminos bandwagon. This healthier version is free of gluten and soy, meaning it’s the perfect (more natural) option for people with any gluten and soy sensitivities or allergies. It also has one-third the sodium content of traditional soy sauce, making it the perfect guilt-free topper for all your stir-fries and sushi rolls. On top of the health benefits, it’s cheaper than other coconut aminos sauces on the market and also happens to be certified organic (what can’t Trader Joe’s do?). Order it online here. 

    5. Chickpea and Red Lentil Risoni

    Is it just me, or is veggie-based rice all the rage these days? I love brown or wild rice as much as the next girl, but sometimes it’s nice to pack in even more legumes for extra protein and nutrients. Of all the veggie or legume-based alternatives out there, this one is my personal favorite. It’s one of the cheapest options, happens to be certified organic (many aren’t!), and is made of chickpea and red lentils instead of just one, so you’re getting in a wider variety of nutrients. Make as any rice or orzo replacement, and you’ll never want to go back. 

    6. Shaved Brussels Sprouts

    I always tell clients who don’t have the time or energy to cook to find ways to streamline the cooking process, like purchasing the prepared veggies at TJ’s. I particularly love the Shaved Brussels Sprouts because Brussels sprouts are particularly a pain to prepare. This packaged version is easy to toss into salads, stir-fries, sheet meals, etc. I’m also a fan of the Cruciferous Crunch collection, which is delicious in pasta or a creamy salad (see: the Green Goddess dressing above). 

    7. Dill Pickle Hummus

    Before you scroll past this one because it sounds kind of gross, hear me out. If I had the immense privilege of being the person who names Trader Joe’s items, I probably would have gone in a different direction. This hummus is less of a combo of chickpeas and pickles as the name suggests and more of a delicious, creamy, satisfying dip that tastes like vinegar, sea salt, and savory spices. It’s basically salt-and-vinegar dip (which sounds much better, right?). Either way, you will love this dip with veggies, crackers, or spread onto a sandwich. 

    8. Everything But the Bagel Sesame Seasoning Blend

    It’s so popular it’s basic at this point, but this EBTB Seasoning is one of the can’t-live-without products I always have stocked in my kitchen. A bagel sandwich is one of my favorite foods, so I love making some sourdough toast with vegan cream cheese, red onion, lettuce, and tomato and topping it all with the seasoning to satisfy my bagel craving. I also put the blend on popcorn, avocado toast, eggs, etc. for a flavor that I truly cannot get enough of (plus, I’m a sucker for a chic black-and-white label). Order it online here.

    9. Cauliflower Thins

    I could not be more thankful for the powers that be (AKA whichever TJ’s employee had the idea to turn cauliflower into bread). Made of cauliflower (over 60%), eggs, Parmesan cheese, and deactivated yeast, they’re a delicious alternative to bread, tortillas, etc. for anyone who’s gluten-free or trying to sneak in more veggies. Full disclosure: I sometimes eat them plain because they’re just that delicious. 

    10. Shishito Peppers

    Shishito peppers are one of my favorite foods to eat when ordering takeout, but they’re difficult to find when trying to cook them myself. Of course, Trader Joe’s makes trying out new produce very convenient, thanks to their inventive products and perfect packaging. Roast a serving of these tasty peppers with a little lemon, olive oil, miso paste, and coconut aminos (see above), and I swear these will become your new go-to veggie. Forget boring carrot sticks and steamed broccoli–shishito peppers are my must-have side dish. 

    11. Frozen Wild Blueberries 

    Whenever I go to Trader Joe’s, I stock up on packs of these berries (like, there’s currently seven in my freezer). I eat blueberries every day because they’re so nutritious, and I swear they’re my #1 secret to glowy skin. Since these are frozen, I can continue adding them to smoothies, oatmeal, and baked goods for months. Why do I love Trader Joe’s specifically? You guessed it: They’re cheaper than other certified-organic varieties.  

    12. Cold-Pressed Coconut Oil

    Coconut oil is a serious staple in my kitchen. I use it to cook, blend in my coffee, and slather all over my skin for hydration (don’t worry, I have separate coconut oils for cooking and for beauty purposes). I love this one from Trader Joe’s specifically because it’s certified organic (I know, I’m predictable, right?) and cold-pressed (which means it might retain more nutrients than oils treated with heat). Another bonus tip: The Coconut Oil Spray is not one of my ride-or-die products like the Cold-Pressed Oil, but when you just want a spray, it’s way better than your average Pam. 

    13. Spicy Mexican-Style Riced Cauliflower

    Come one, come all: The best new TJ’s meal is here, and we’re not talking about it enough. The Spicy Mexican-Style Cauliflower is everything you want out of a quick lunch or simple dinner: lots of nutrients and lots of flavor. This genius new invention is a combo of riced cauliflower, other veggies like tomatoes and bell peppers, and flavorful toppings like cumin, cayenne, and lime juice. Oh, and don’t let me forget about the pickled jalapeños (isn’t the best part of any meal jalapeños?). Simply heat it up on the stove for a vegan side dish, turn it into a burrito bowl, or add to a tortilla for a tasty meal you won’t believe is as healthy as it is. 

    14. Brown Rice & Quinoa Fusilli Pasta

    Yes, I’m a health coach, and nutrition is ~my life,~ but I also love food—extra emphasis on love. It’s not that any food is “off limits” (we’re not meant to eat from a place of deprivation!), but I know I can find more nutritious and plant-based options of the foods I crave. The perfect example: Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice & Quinoa Fusilli Pasta. I have a gluten sensitivity, so I try to stay away from the white-flour version anyway, but we can all afford to opt for whole grains like quinoa and brown rice that are loaded with extra nutrients. 

    15. Moroccan Mint Tea 

    If you can’t already tell, the #1 theme here is organic. I love knowing that this tea is not only full of superfood ingredients but also that TJ’s took the extra step of ensuring the superfood ingredients are organic too. I drink this tea after meals or whenever I feel bloated (the mint can help soothe stomach discomfort or digestive issues). Pro tip: Buy it in bulk because you’re going to want to drink it every day. Order it online here.

    16. Vegan Kale, Cashew, and Basil Pesto

    Pesto is one of my favorite sauces to DIY, but we can’t all be Martha Stewart 24/7. For the weeks that I have very little time to cook or prep my meals, I love this vegan-friendly version. Not only is this option dairy-free, but it’s also more plant-based than the traditional version, thanks to kale and cashews (no, you cannot taste the kale). Use the delicious sauce on top of bruschetta, with your favorite pasta, or as a dip for veggies. 

    17. Cauliflower Pizza Crust

    Perhaps one of the most beloved Trader Joe’s products of all time, the cauliflower pizza crust revolutionizes fast food (and drunk food) by replacing greasy crusts with nutrient-dense cauliflower and gluten-free cornflour. I always have a plain crust in my freezer for when I want to get creative (I make a mean Mexican pizza with smashed black beans, cheese, lettuce, and vegan ranch), but I also keep one of the Cheese Cauliflower Pizza Crusts for the nights when I only have time to pop something in the oven. 

    18. Chocolate Hummus

    I know what you’re thinking: chocolate hummus? Before you think I’ve officially lost it, hear me out. I don’t like to think of it as a hummus because the only similarity is that it’s made with chickpeas. However, it tastes much more like a delicious chocolate frosting than anything in the hummus family. With a base of cooked chickpeas and tahini (a sesame seed paste), it’s a genius way to sneak in some extra nutrients like fiber, protein, potassium, and iron.
    Just a warning, I do not eat gallons of this stuff thinking I’m eating my veggies. It still contains some cane sugar, so use it as you would any other dessert, but know you’re giving your body an added dose of nutrients while satisfying your sweet tooth. I like to use it as frosting for baked goods or as a dip with apple slices when I’m craving something sweet. 

    19. Unsweetened Coconut Chips

    Another favorite solution when that snacking craving strikes: coconut chips. They can be used as a tasty topping on any yogurt, açai bowl, or cereal or eaten on their own for a tasty snack. My favorite part (you guessed it!) is that they’re organic and unsweetened, so you know you’re only getting the good stuff. Another tip is to DIY a trail mix with nuts, cacao nibs, and these tasty coconut chips. You’ll never feel bored with your afternoon snack ever again. Order online here.

    20. Manuka Honey

    I love manuka honey for so many purposes. Not only can this kind of honey help heal minor wounds and improve common cold symptoms, but I also love manuka honey to help ease digestive issues and help balance the immune system. Oh, and I’ve been known to even use it to wash my face (now that’s a superfood). I love purchasing this honey from Trader Joe’s because it’s usually super expensive anywhere else. It comes with an ingredients list that I trust and a price tag that I don’t have to think twice about. 

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    I Ditched This Daily Habit We All Do and It Transformed My Confidence

    As a fitness professional, whether during one-on-one personal training sessions or while leading cycling classes, a large majority of my waking hours have been spent in front of a mirror. I like to think that “body checks” were more of an occupational hazard from all my time spent in front of a mirror, but if we’re being honest, I remember grabbing a bathroom pass to check my reflection in middle school. At 12 years old, I started staring at my reflection to see if the way I sat at my desk made my legs look too big. 
    Throughout my teenage years and well into adulthood, there wasn’t a mirror, store window, car door, or front-facing camera that was safe from my constant need to check on my body. Each reflective surface I passed had the ability to make or break my self-esteem. I was a woman possessed until, in early 2021, I ditched almost all mirrors. It’s been a full calendar year without them ruling my life—and I’ll never go back. Read on for my experience with body checks, how (and why!) I got rid of mirrors, and how you can gain more confidence and body love too. 

    What are “body checks?”
    Body checking is the repeated behavior of seeking details about your body’s size, shape, weight, or appearance from mirrors, reflections, photos, or other people. While checking your reflection in a mirror as you pass by or zooming in on yourself in the group photo are normal behaviors, compulsive body checks are when these habits happen compulsively and negatively affect your mood and self-esteem.
    When I started my career in fitness after college, mirrors were in no short supply, and I was performing body checks almost constantly. I started looking for these checks to define my self-worth and place in the industry, which often made me feel like an imposter posing as a personal trainer. I watched my reflection as I demonstrated every exercise, taught every class, and walked from one corner of the gym to the other, seeking constant validation and often ridiculing each part of my body in my own head. This was my constant reality until last year, when I decided constantly checking mirrors was ruining my confidence, so I ditched body checks and it changed my life.

    How I limited mirrors and stopped body checking
    A year ago, I began working at a gym that doesn’t have a single mirror in the whole facility. There was no way for me to see what my body looked like, which forced me instead to be present in the moment and focus on what I was doing. For the first time, I was unable to obsess over what I looked like while working or working out. For the first few weeks, I felt myself yearning for a way to see how others saw me when I moved, but as time went on, my concern with what I looked like dissipated as my confidence grew.
    As months passed, my desire for body checks waned as I focused instead on performing well, making friends, and improving my skills as both an athlete and a trainer. Slowly but surely, this release of control over knowing what my body looked like at any given moment began to creep into my life outside of the gym. I no longer opened my front-facing camera to check my reflection every time I went on my phone. I stopped wondering what my body looked like to others. The oversized full-length mirror in my living room no longer had a grip on me, and when I moved into a new apartment in the spring, I chose not to take it with me. I didn’t need it anymore.

    While the complete lack of mirrors in my workspace was the catalyst for this change, what really broke my habit of habitual body checking was the discovery that I could be valued for things other than what I looked like. I focused on the intangibles that I brought to the table, such as knowledge and commitment, and I learned to be proud of those characteristics—irrespective of my size, shape, or weight. Lastly, I stopped thinking about what other people looked like and instead focused on their qualities and how they made me feel. For the first time, I really saw people for who they were—myself included.
    Today, I have a small, full-length mirror next to my closet to use while getting dressed, and I do my hair and makeup in a medicine cabinet mirror over the sink in my bathroom, but my obsession with staring in the mirror has completely changed. When I do look at my body (whether it’s in a mirror, window reflection, etc.), I do so with neutrality. I repeat, “This is what my body looks like today” and choose to reflect on what it’s capable of, the person it houses, and all the people who love her. These days, I’m even often pleasantly surprised by the reflection looking back at me and like what I see. I’ve realized my body looks exactly the same whether I can see it or not—the difference is that what it looks like no longer has a death grip on how I feel about myself.

    Tips I learned to improve body confidence
    1. Limit mirrors 
    I challenge you to remove the full-length mirrors you find yourself obsessing over for just one month. While it might be scary to break such a strong habit, you just might find freedom and gain confidence when you allow yourself a separate perspective. Instead of working out in front of the floor-to-ceiling gym mirror, set yourself up in an area where you can’t fixate on what you look like. When passing by a mirrored store window, take the time you’d normally spend checking out your own reflection to smile at a stranger, window shop the store displays, or simply be more present in the moment. Lastly, replace any mirrors used for “decor” with beautiful art that makes you feel happy.

    2. Notice the ebb and flow of your body
    When I stopped fixating on what I looked like every second of the day, I started to understand that the things that used to upset me about my body (bloating, hormonal changes/PMS, lack of sleep, dehydration, etc.) were predictable and, more importantly, impermanent. I used to cry about the way I looked a few days before my period, but now I treat that time with far more grace because I know that it’s normal and no fault of my own. The body is meant to fluctuate—in weight, in symptoms, in cravings, in strength, and in appearance. Once you realize bodies are meant to be ever-changing, you can better understand and appreciate yours.

    3. Use a mirror affirmation
    Sure, it would be a lot easier if I could avoid any and all reflections altogether, but mirrors are unavoidable. Plus, your reflection shouldn’t be a scary thing; you can rewire your mind to actually like what you see. When I do look at my reflection, whether it’s when I’m passing a reflective store window or doing my makeup in the morning, I use a mirror affirmation. Lately, my mirror affirmation has been “This is my body today, and I choose to love it,” reminding me that I am grateful for my body, who I am, and all that I can do, even on the days that I don’t feel my best. It might feel weird at first, but before long, you’ll be repeating your mirror affirmation subconsciously (and believing it too).

    4. Shift your focus to qualities that are not appearance-related
    The next time you find yourself obsessing over what you look like or feeling bad about your body, make a list of things you love about yourself that are not image-related. Don’t forget to include things you’re good at, the way you make people feel, your educational or work achievements, and all the wonderful qualities that you possess. Learning to value yourself for more than the shape of your body will change the way you see yourself, the things you value, and the way you present yourself to the world. By limiting mirrors and reframing the way I saw my reflection, I learned to trust myself and feel proud of non-physical qualities. The removal of unnecessary body checks from your life will improve your relationship with yourself. I promise—you deserve it.

    While this article addresses body checking behaviors, it is not meant to treat body dysmorphia or disordered eating. If you are struggling with body image or disordered thoughts or behaviors regarding food and eating, please seek help. Call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237 for support, reach out to a qualified medical professional, or, for a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.

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    10 Pick-Me-Ups That Will Make Your Busiest Days More Tolerable

    We’ve all had them and know them well: those days where you need to wake up, put your game face on, and hunker down because your to-do list is a mile long.
    During the days where you’re just trying to get through, it can be hard to remember to take a moment for yourself amongst the chaos—but sometimes, that can make all the difference. Little pick-me-ups can turn a busy day completely around and help you conquer your tasks with a bit more ease.
    During our busiest days, these are the pick-me-ups our team swears by to help give us a little morale boost and get through the day feeling happy—not like we just survived it.

    Equilibria
    Mindful Mineral Soak
    The key to getting through a busy day? Taking a few minutes to unplug and regroup. When you feel like you have a thousand things to do, taking the time to clear your mind and take a breath is essential. Our favorite way to do it? A bath with Equilibria’s Mindful Mineral Soak. With over 30 minerals and 200mg of full-spectrum CBD, it helps nourish your skin and make a bath a completely spa-worthy experience—which is a perfect way to catch your breath and take a moment for yourself on even your busiest of days.
    Use the code theeverygirl for 20% off your first Equilibria order

    Mug Warmer
    It’s hard to drink a full cup of coffee on a regular day, let alone a day where you have a million things to do. Cut down on trips to the microwave with a mug warmer that can live on your desk and keep your coffee drinkable all day.

    Wellness Journal
    Take a moment for yourself with this wellness journal, which helps set intentions, stay grateful, and end your day with a fresh, optimistic mindset.

    Blue-Light Glasses
    Staring at a computer all day isn’t ideal, especially on a day where you’re ultra-busy. Keep your eyes in tip-top shape with a pair of blue-light glasses you won’t want to take off.

    Wireless Keyboard
    Having a desk setup that you love and maximizes productivity is something you shouldn’t skimp out on. This wireless keyboard will help turn your laptop into a work space you love and are excited to work from.

    Acrylic Laptop Stand
    This laptop stand will help reduce clutter on your desk and eliminate strain on your neck from looking at your computer all day—and it does it in style.

    The Chai Box
    Chai Concentrate
    Crafted in small batches in Atlanta, this chai concentrate contains four to five glasses of delicious chai that you’ll look forward to drinking all day. Just mix it with your favorite milk for an afternoon pick-me-up that tastes like you just ran to your nearest coffee shop and grabbed it.

    Essential Oil Diffuser
    This beautiful ceramic essential oil diffuser will give your space a soft, essential-oil infused stream. When you’re stressed, pop in lavender or frankincense for calming effects that you’ll enjoy all day.

    Etsy | Bliss Collections
    Daily Planner
    Reduce your stress levels by taking the time to write out your daily to-do list so you can prioritize which tasks you’ll tackle first to make your day a little bit easier.

    64 oz. Water Bottle
    Don’t let being busy stop you from staying hydrated. This 64-oz. water bottle will remind you to drink your water between your Zoom meetings and to-do list tasks.

    This post is sponsored by Equilibria, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board.

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    How to Upgrade Your Wellness Routine for Winter

    So you’ve swapped your favorite crop top and sandals for cozy outerwear and chunky boots (or, if you’re like me, a weekly rotation of various sweatsuits). That’s right: Winter is officially here. Just like our wardrobes, our wellness routines—from skincare to self-care to nutrition and exercise—should look different come winter. Our bodies need different things every season; the food, workouts, and self-care your body craves in winter is going to be different from what it needs in the summer. So it’s time to switch up your wellness routine to support what your body needs during colder months and shorter days. Read on for ways to help “winterize” your daily regimen for a healthy, stress-free season. 
     
    Self-Care

    Prioritize sleep
    Now that we’re experiencing shorter days and less vitamin D than we grew accustomed to during the summer, it’s natural to feel some winter blues, AKA you may feel a little more lethargic and tired this time of year. Because there are fewer hours of daylight, the body produces more melatonin (a sleep hormone) this time of year, and chances are, your sleep habits have been affected by the time change. Instead of fighting the fatigue, think of this season as a time for rest and recovery, and adapt your self-care routine accordingly. Personally, I love winding down with a hot, candlelit bath, but if baths aren’t your cup of tea, you can also treat yourself to a fresh set of luxurious sheets, perfect your nighttime routine, or just get to bed earlier. 

    Focus on relationships
    Yes, even caring for yourself includes tending to relationships. Connection is an important part of a wellness routine because fulfilling relationships help improve our happiness and overall satisfaction in life. Winter is the perfect time to prioritize connection because of the holiday season, but your social calendar can extend well beyond New Year’s Eve. Make extra plans throughout every week to catch up with your mom on the phone or have a movie night in with your best friend. If cabin fever is getting the best of you, grab your sister to go for a drive or test your skating skills at an ice rink with your friend group (which also counts as exercise!). Whatever your self-care routine looks like, it should spark joy and help you reset so you can show up as your best for yourself and also for the people you surround yourself with. 
     

     
    Nutrition

    Ditch the raw foods and cold meals
    During the summer, nothing hits the spot for me like biting into a juicy piece of watermelon, noshing on a crisp salad, or sipping on a refreshing smoothie. But when the temperature drops and we’re in the thick of winter, you may notice a change in your appetite and your body craving warm, grounding meals like soup, pasta, and warm figgy pudding. Sound familiar? With dreary weather and less exposure to sun, it should come as no surprise that we find ourselves reaching for heartier, comforting foods to boost our mood and warm up our bodies. Remember that salads and smoothies aren’t the only healthy foods. Get creative with nourishing stews, soups, and roasted veggies instead. 
     
    Incorporate seasonal produce
    If you don’t already know, eating in-season is so important. Luckily, winter offers many delicious, flavorful produce. For fruit, try apples, pomegranates, oranges, persimmons, and pears. As for vegetables, load up on butternut squash, sweet potatoes, kale, Brussels sprouts, turnips, and beets, just to name a few. Listen, if you can’t live without your avocado toast or love eating mangos year-round, it doesn’t mean you should ditch produce that is in season during spring or summer. The most important thing is to eat your fruits and veggies, no matter what they are (and you should always enjoy the food you eat!). Instead of replacing, think of adding winter produce. For example, top your avocado toast with pomegranate seeds or make a side dish of roasted winter veggies that will make any meal more delicious. 
     
    Honor your sweet tooth
    I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention all the goodies that are synonymous with this time of year: cookies, apple pie, eggnog, Starbucks holiday drinks. Instead of depriving yourself of sweet potato casserole and worrying about how many calories you’re consuming from holiday leftovers, take the time to enjoy the flavors of the foods you love and focus on connecting and celebrating with loved ones. Bottom line: If you’re craving sweets more during this time of year, don’t panic. Reach for antioxidant-rich dark chocolate or naturally sweet foods like bananas and raw honey. But also indulge in your mom’s famous cookies or a cup of hot chocolate when you want to, totally guilt-free. As with any time of the year, being mindful is key, so check in consistently with how your body feels.
     

     
    Exercise

    Know that resting is just as good for you as movement
    Whether you’re busy with work deadlines and social plans or the aforementioned winter blues have left you feeling tired all the time, workouts can easily fall by the wayside come colder weather. The thought of leaving your warm, cozy bed can deter even the most hardcore workout enthusiast, and guess what? That’s OK. If your body isn’t feeling like going on a three-mile jog or doing a HIIT class, don’t force it. Instead, move your body in ways that feel natural and nourishing, like going for a walk to get some fresh air, doing a yoga flow, or stretching before bed. Also, remember that rest is just as good for the body as exercise, so make relaxation a key part of your exercise routine if that’s what you’re craving. Your body knows what it needs; you just have to listen to it.

    Adjust your favorite workouts for the weather (but get outside when you can)
    Are you typically a runner who loves to hit the pavement? You don’t need to forego workouts altogether when the weather drops. Instead, try these tips to make the outdoors more bearable or hit the gym for some sprints on a treadmill. If you’re more into yoga, nothing feels better in the winter than moving your body in a heated room, so opt for some hot yoga (turning up the heat in your apartment or placing a space heater near your yoga mat counts too). Since it’s important to always enjoy the type of workouts you’re doing, adjust what you love best to be indoors while still getting outside for walks or jogs to enjoy the fresh air when you can.
     
    Try hacks to stay motivated 
    And if it’s lack of motivation or the continuous rotation of Hallmark Christmas movies playing that’s keeping you from breaking a sweat (same), use small tricks and tips to stay motivated to move your body regularly enough to feel healthy. For example, fit in multiple movement sessions of five minutes or less throughout the day (it adds up!), multitask like doing bicep curls while on conference calls, and don’t underestimate what a cute, new fitspo outfit can do to get you motivated to move. 

    Skincare

    Add more layers
    Let’s face it (pun intended), our sun-kissed and supple complexions are now dry and lacking that fresh-from-a-facial look we had going for us during the summer. So what better time to hit refresh on your skincare lineup? Like any fashionista would advise when it comes to dressing for the cold, layering is your friend. And the same goes for your skincare regimen during the winter months. Add a cleansing oil into your routine, pat on an additional hydrating serum, use a thicker moisturizer, and top with a hydrating oil to seal it all in. Even if you don’t want to totally change your skincare routine season to season, a couple added basics can make all the difference. 

    Try a humidifier
    Many of us are experiencing dryness and irritation from all the time spent indoors this time of year. Consider buying a humidifier for your bedroom, especially if you heavily rely on central air conditioning and heating to manipulate the environment of your home or live in a dry climate—it’ll be your new best friend (goodbye, dryness!). A humidifier can help add a little extra moisture in the air while you’re sleeping and hopefully add a little extra hydration and plumpness to your skin. 

    Focus on skincare from within too
    While you’re at it, load your plate with healthy fats (think: avocado, wild salmon, walnuts), which can help regulate your skin’s oil production and soothe dry skin. Achieving radiant, J.Lo-like skin (talk about a major glow) is not just about what you put on it after all. It’s also about adding nutrient-rich foods to your diet.

    7 Ways to Stay Your Healthiest Through Winter
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    This Health Expert Swears by One Hack to Achieve Your New Year’s Resolutions

    I’m choosing to ignore all the memes about how 2022 is “2020 too” (no one needs that kind of negativity in their life) and believe that this is going to be a good year. Besides a celebration of what we’re leaving behind us, the start of a new year also means new year’s resolutions. You know the ones: eat less sugar, stop drinking alcohol, go to the gym more, lose 10 pounds, save more money. I don’t know about you, but the most common resolutions do not sound fun. It’s no surprise that 80 percent of New Year’s resolutions fail—people expect resolutions to make them feel happier or stress less, instead of prioritizing stress relief or happiness in order to achieve resolutions. New year’s goals typically have nothing to do with stress levels, happiness, or fulfillment, but if we really want to eat healthier, work out more, or save money, mental health should be the first thing we work on in order to get us there.
    Enter: Kadeem One. Kadeem is an author, meditation expert, holistic wellness coach, motivational speaker, aromatherapist, and hypnotherapist (how’s that for a long list of credentials?). He has worked with a variety of clients and even Fortune 500 companies to help achieve goals and develop habits that stick for a lifetime using meditation. Obviously I had to grill him so we can all break out of the New Year’s resolution rut and finally adopt healthier and happier habits that will extend beyond 2023. Read on for all his best tips to use meditation to (actually) achieve your New Year’s resolutions. 

    Meet the expert
    Kadeem One
    Meditation Teacher, Holistic Wellness Practitioner, and Motivational Speaker
    Kadeem One is an author, meditation expert, wellness coach, and hypnotherapist who has worked with corporate companies like Google, Yahoo, and Verizon, as well as individual clients to help everyone reach their goals and achieve successful lives. His expertise has been featured in publications like Martha Stewart Living, Healthline, and The Huffington Post.

    Why is meditation so important for achieving resolutions?
    Good for you if “meditate more” is one of your resolutions, but meditation is also an important tool to achieve any goal, from going to the gym to getting a promotion at work. Why? It helps you get in the mindset required for intentional decision making. “Most of us are constantly in a sympathetic state known as the ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ response, or a high state of stress,” Kadeem explained. “It can be hard to pinpoint problem areas or figure out roads to success when we’re in this sympathetic state. Meditation puts the body in a parasympathetic state, also known as the ‘rest and digest’ response. During this state, you feel balanced and focused, which helps you stay committed to achieve New Year’s resolutions.”
    In other words, consistent meditation allows your body to be in a calmer state, which improves motivation and decision making, and you’re less likely to make decisions out of stress response (like ordering Chinese takeout after a stressful day instead of heating up the nourishing meal that you know will actually make you feel better). A meditation practice can also be beneficial for improving sleep quality, and when you’re sleeping better, you have more energy throughout the day to go to the gym, crush your work presentation, connect with loved ones, or cook nourishing meals. “Meditation regulates sleep by increasing GABA, a neurotransmitter that helps create deep relaxation and sleep,” Kadeem said. In other words, meditation is the secret to make better decisions and achieve optimal energy so that you increase your chance of achieving goals.

    I’m sold…so where do I start?

    Start with focusing on breath
    New to meditation? Kadeem recommends newbies start their meditation journey with breathing. “For a simple start, set an alarm for 60 seconds and do some deep inhales and exhales while pausing in between each,” he suggested. “This technique is called square breathing (also known as box breathing). Inhale, exhale, and pause in between for an equal amount of time (like 3-4 seconds each).” Once you get used to 60 seconds of square breathing, extend to 90 seconds, two minutes, etc. and work your way up to whatever amount of time you need. If you start panicking when thoughts like your to-do list or weekend plans come up, know that meditation is about stillness of the body. Acknowledge the wandering thoughts, come back to your breath, and give yourself grace. Sitting still and making time for yourself is good enough. 

    Aim for consistency over quality
    A meditation practice doesn’t have to be 30 minutes of deep, intense meditation to reap serious benefits. In fact, the most important part of a meditation practice is not the length of sessions or even the quality of your focus. The most important part is consistency and showing up for yourself every day, even if it’s just 60 seconds while riding the subway or in line at Starbucks. “You can’t just meditate once or twice and think it’ll do the trick,” Kadeem explained. “That’s like saying you went to the gym once or twice and expect to lose 20 pounds. Meditation is like a muscle: you have to keep working at it for it to grow and strengthen your life.” Aim for a daily practice, knowing that there’s no such thing as a “perfect” meditation. Some days will be better than others in terms of length or focus, but the important thing is that you show up every day. 

    Focus on an intention
    While any type of meditation can help you stay on track to hit your resolutions, doing meditations for your specific goals can take it a step further. For achieving goals and resolutions, Kadeem recommends gratitude meditations in which your focus is on being thankful for various aspects of your life related to the resolution (like gratitude that your body can move, gratitude for nourishing food, etc.), visual meditations where you visualize your best self (like doing 100 push-ups at the gym or being confident at work), or expanded meditations, which means focusing on wishing others well, just to name a few different types.
    You can also search for meditations on any topic, so try Googling “Meditations for healthy eating,” or “Meditations for high performance at work,” etc. If your resolutions are more specific, get more broad by searching for “Meditations for abundance” or “Meditation to help achieve your best self.” The key, of course, is to find whichever type resonates with you (and your goals) most. To try some of Kadeem’s meditations for yourself, check out his teachings on Insight Timer or tune into his weekly live meditations. 

    Know that you already have the ability to be your best self
    Another problem with resolutions is that when we think about where we wish we could be, we’re telling ourselves that we’re not already enough as we are. In reality, we can be be our very happiest, healthiest selves right now–it’s just a matter of how we show up. “We have that power to heal ourselves,” Kadeem said. “Achieving that best self may require you to have a daily meditation practice, keep a gratitude journal, change up your friendships to those who energize and support you, donating to charity, or meeting with a holistic wellness coach to help you with your blind spots.” His point: You may think you need to lose 20 pounds or get a major promotion to be your best self, but you actually already are—it’s just a matter of making small changes and showing up as your best every day. “If you are looking to thrive in the new year and beyond, start to do a few new things like meditation to truly achieve the highest and best version of yourself.” Yep, that’s it. 

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