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      What To Do When You Start Catching Feelings In A Situationship (Oh, oh)

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      “Yes to lots of safe sex, definitely no sleepovers, no calling each other on our birthdays, no unnecessary check-ins unless it’s to set up a booty call and most importantly, no acting up when you see me with someone else.” So go the rules of many situationships, often declared at the very beginning to prevent either party from falling in love with the other.
      If you’ve been living under a rock (for some reason), a situationship is a half-baked ‘relationship’ that is neither official or unconfirmed. Most importantly, it’s meant to be uncomplicated. But when have feelings ever respected boundaries?
      Sex with no strings attached can be fun, but can also get complicated really fast. If you happen to wake up pining for your f*** buddy (not in that lust, but the ‘I just want to hear your voice sense’) it could mean that your feelings have gone and crossed the boundary line — without first consulting you nodal! First and foremost, don’t beat yourself up for developing feelings: Women are biologically wired to feel attached to their sexual partners, so it’s not only common, it’s natural.
      Women release oxytocin, a bonding hormone, when they have sex (and particularly when they orgasm), so in many cases, it’s hard not to feel at least a little attached. And of course, the more you spend any kind of physical time with someone, the more you’re likely to learn about them and get to know them on a more personal level. So, yeah… chances are, if you’re regularly having casual sex with the same person, you’re going to start to feel the feels.
      By now, we’ve all established that relationships are complex AF. WH advisor and therapist Dr Chloe tackles your most confusing issues and burning Qs.
      Makes sense. So I shouldn’t worry that my casual-sex thing doesn’t feel that casual?
      “Let’s not pretend this isn’t an issue — clearly, you’re here for a reason, and my guess is that the reason is you think this person doesn’t have those same feelings for you and you’re not sure how to proceed. Perhaps you went into this thing with a mutual understanding that the sex wouldn’t progress into a relationship and your feelings honestly took you by surprise.
      But it could also be the case that, on some deeper level, you sought out a casual-sex situation because you thought it’d be emotionally safer to stick to an arrangement where they can’t reject you. If you’re not ‘putting yourself out there’ in that vulnerable way, you can’t get hurt, right? I know the thinking.
      READ MORE: The 10 Rules Of Casual Dating Every Woman Should Know
      Here’s the truth, though: If you frequently (if not always) find yourself developing feelings for someone you’re having casual sex with, I urge you to consider if a non-relationship is really what you want. If you think casual sex is a way of guaranteeing you won’t be disappointed by a partner because you’re not even putting the idea of a relationship on the table, you’re actually encouraging self-denial, not self-awareness (which as a maturing adult, isn’t the way to go!).
      It’s kind of like overtraining at the gym and then popping a bunch of painkillers to remove the soreness: You might not feel the pain anymore, but the muscle damage is still there. Similarly, having sex with someone you like but who doesn’t cherish you is painful, whether you act like you care or not (by continuing to sleep with them with no strings attached).
      If that’s you — if you’ve never really been able to separate sex from emotions — casual sex might not be the healthiest thing for you. Try limiting yourself to having sex with people who reciprocate a desire for a relationship and emotional intimacy. Even though there’s no way of guaranteeing that a long-term relationship will come out of it, at least you’re not setting yourself up to be heartbroken and disappointed from the get-go.”
      Uuuhhhmmm, Dr Chloe… but that doesn’t help me now.
      “What to do in your current situation? The answer is simple: Be honest. You have absolutely nothing to gain by keeping your feelings to yourself or pretending that they aren’t there. In most cases, feelings only grow with time, so you’re doing yourself no favours by getting in deeper with someone who doesn’t want what you want.
      So tell them. Yes, I know it’s scary, but it’s worth it for the peace of mind you’ll gain after! Try saying: ‘I thought you should know that I’ve started to like you-like you. I think I need to step back, because when I got into this, I didn’t plan for these feelings.’
      READ MORE: 11 Signs Of An Emotionally Unavailable Partner — And WTH To Do About It
      This approach lets them know how you feel but doesn’t put any pressure on them to reciprocate — which you only want them to do if they truly feel the same way as you do. You don’t want a potential partner to stick around just so they can keep their Nice Guy (or Nice Girl) card, so let them know that you’ve decided to walk away without expressing any negativity toward them. That way, if they come back and tell you they want more, you know it’s because they actually want more.
      Now, if they don’t end up coming around with their own declaration of feelings or desire for a relationship on their own time, know this: You just did yourself a solid. The relationship you’re imagining in your head is with a relationship-oriented person who feels a certain way about you, too. And if that’s not them — they only want casual sex, or they just don’t see you in particular as something more than that — then you can accept the reality and let go. It’s much, much easier to move on from someone who isn’t what you want than someone who is.
      Got it. Is there any way to rein my feelings in in the future?
      Of course! If you do decide to enter into another casual-sex shindig because that’s what you really, truly, deeply want, try the following to minimise the chances of getting in too deep:

      Avoid sharing or learning deep personal stories (about your family, hobbies, childhood, etc.), which forms strong connections.
      Avoid frequent or daily texting — only talk for purposes of meeting up for your rendezvous — because frequency and duration of contact is how humans build trust and grow closer.
      Avoid replaying encounters in your mind, which makes your brain grow fonder of them.

      Space out encounters or keep them to long-distance situations. Seeing someone often (and sleeping with them) pumps out all kinds of chemical hormones that can make you feel “addicted” to them.
      At the end of the day, casual sex without attachment is possible, but it’s tricky. As long as you stay true to yourself and your heart along the way, you’ll be just fine. I promise.
      This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com  More

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      10 Items Our Wellness Editor Swears Have Made the Biggest Difference in Her Life

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      As a Wellness Editor and Health Coach, I get it: Wellness is confusing. Every season brings a new “weight loss pill,” “magic supplement,” or “miracle diet” that promises to be the cure-all to health woes. We end up spending $$$ on the next big thing that an influencer or TikTok brand promotes because we so desperately want to heal our symptoms, feel happier, get more energy, and look our best. As my job is to help you get healthier, I’ve quite literally tried it all–every pill, potion, app, and diet out there. Most of them did not make that much of a difference or feel sustainable enough to impact my well-being long-term. But I keep a very small arsenal of wellness products, that I’ve used for a long time and have genuinely made the biggest difference in my life, to recommend to readers and clients in an effort to cut confusion over what’s really worth the money. 
      IMO, these 10 products are truly worth the hype: a claim that I do not take lightly (the last thing I want is more women spending time, effort, and money that doesn’t actually help them feel happier and healthier). My hope with this list is not to add more noise to the ever-confusing wellness industry but rather to give you insight and genuine recommendations that I have seen make a big difference to myself and other women. Yes, I believe these products are so good they could do wonders for anyone, but just remember that the body is not a one-size-fits-all pair of socks; what works for me may not work for you. Read on for the top 10 wellness products that made the biggest difference in my life in case they may help you too, and always listen to your body first and foremost. 

      Ankle/Wrist Bangles
      It’s true: IMO, Instagram’s favorite workout accessory is totally worth it. After ogling over them for months, the start of the pandemic finally convinced me I needed these dreamy weights in my life, and it changed my at-home workout game. I’m a huge studio-workout person (like, pre-pandemic I had not worked out at home once), but these have made a huge difference when I don’t have time to get to a workout and can do a quick 15 minutes of pilates on my living room floor. They so seamlessly strap on, so you can wear them anytime to make anything a workout. For example, I like to wear them on my wrists when going for a walk to add in some muscle work (without even trying) and wear them on my ankles when cooking to fit in a little leg lifts while waiting for pasta water to boil–revolutionary, right?
      7 colors available.

      Motivational Water Bottle
      I’ve now used this (and only this) water bottle for over eight months now, and I can honestly say that I’ve never been so hydrated (don’t worry, I have three different bottles). Because it’s so much bigger than other water bottles, I don’t need to keep refilling throughout the day while sitting at my desk, so I naturally am drinking so much more. I drink A LOT of water, and I only need to refill this bottle once every day. With convenient time stamps, motivational sayings, and an adorable design, you’ll refuse to drink out of any other water bottle too. I like to add lemon and mint because I believe we should all make our wellness routines a little sexier.
      11 colors available.

      Tongue Scraper
      If you don’t have a tongue scraper, yes, YOU NEED ONE. My personal mission is to get the whole world tongue scraping. It’s an Ayurvedic practice that has been a beloved daily ritual for hundreds of years, and there’s now modern science to back it up. Here’s why: Bad bacteria and toxins form on your tongue while you’re sleeping, and if you do not remove them before drinking or eating, you re-ingest the toxins and bacteria when you swallow. If you still need proof, just trust me, get a tongue scraper, and see what comes off your tongue first thing in the morning—you will never be able to go without it again. Try scraping your tongue every morning (that means before your oat milk latte!) and rinsing the scraper before and after use.

      Metabolism Powder
      There’s not a lot of brands that make me geek out over EVERYTHING they make, but Sakara is the rare exception (like, I think I am their biggest fan). While I also use their water drops and cookbook daily, if I had to pick a must-have item, it would be this. I love the Metabolism Powder so much, it’s basically my desert island product. For someone with gut issues, ingredients like L-Glutamine, black pepper piperine, and horsetail extract have made a huge difference in my symptoms. I have much more sustained, balanced energy, and I experience less afternoon slumps. If this is starting to sound a little too witch potion-y for you, it tastes like a really rich, delicious hot chocolate when you add the powder to hot water or warmed almond milk with a little honey or maple syrup—it’s so delicious, in fact, that it has totally replaced my morning coffee because I prefer the taste more. The very best part is that it’s only the best, most natural, cleanest ingredients—nothing you can’t pronounce and no hidden ingredients.

      Summer Fridays
      SPF 30 Mineral Milk Sunscreen
      SPF will always be a crucial part of my wellness routine. As much as I love getting sunlight, long-term exposure can be extremely dangerous to your health, and we’re exposed more than we think–through windows, driving in the car, hot girl walks, etc. I strongly opt for non-toxic beauty products—especially SPF. This one from Summer Fridays is my new favorite because it uses minerals instead of chemicals to protect from the sun (safer for your health and the environment!), contains ingredients like squalene and vitamins to boost glow and skin health in addition to sun protection, and glides on so smooth with absolutely no residue.

      Finishing Touch
      Facial Massage Ice Roller
      A confession: I run puffy. I will wake up after even the best night of sleep and not even recognize my reflection because my eyes are overpowered by severe under eye bags, and my jaw and cheekbones have gotten lost in all the puffiness. Enter: an ice roller. I’ve tried a lot of different techniques, but ice rolling is the one practice that I can’t live without. It’s an instant de-puffer, plus it takes very little time or effort (which is an automatic win for me). Ice-rolling can reduce puffiness and redness in the skin and can help boost circulation, but I also use it on my neck and temples when a headache is coming on for immediate relief.

      Calm Capsules
      Arrae is another brand where every product becomes an instant favorite of mine. They use only the highest quality herbs and natural ingredients to deliver powerful results. I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember, and—while there’s no quick fix for mental health—this supplement is such an important part of my mental health toolbox. Regular therapy, daily meditation, etc. help keep my anxiety at bay, but taking a Calm Capsule (with ingredients like magnesium and, passionflower) is one of the few things I’ve tried that actually works when a stressful meeting is coming up or I’m feeling extra anxious one day.

      Foam Roller
      My doctor first recommended I order a foam roller when I was experiencing tight hip flexors and lower back pain a few years ago, but I got lazy and did not figure out how to use it or make it a regular ritual until going to pelvic floor physical therapy at the beginning of this year. When my physical therapist taught me how to use a foam roller, it changed my life. Of course, it’s great for sore muscles after a workout, but I’ve noticed it also can release a lot of tension and stress. Many women store stress and tension in their hips without even realizing it, causing everything from digestive issues to pain during sex. If you have these symptoms, obvi talk to your doctor for a solution that’s best for you, but for me, foam rolling my hips, back, and inner thighs (in addition to physical therapy) has helped release so much tension and also relax my muscles to ease all kinds of symptoms.

      8Greens Tablets
      By now, I have talked approximately 10 friends and family members into hopping on the 8Greens bandwagon. My #1 can’t-live-without health product will always be whole, leafy greens (one of nature’s greatest medicine, IMO). I always aim to add greens to at least two meals a day because it makes the biggest difference in my skin, energy, digestion, immune system, etc. However, sometimes we don’t have access to fresh, leafy greens (traveling, eating out, going on day four of not getting groceries because you just can’t be bothered). Enter: 8Greens. Made with spinach, wheatgrass, kale, blue-green algae, spirulina, chlorella, barley grass, and aloe vera, each tablet is packed with a variety of nutrients that make you feel amazing. In the form of a convenient tablet you just add to water—it’s like a DIY green juice on-the-go. I also drink 8Greens when I need an extra boost of nutrients in addition to leafy greens, like if I’m starting to get a cold or feel extra drained.

      Superhuman
      Superhuman Meditation App
      Meditation was something I knew would make a huge difference for me and was so important for my overall well-being. But try as I might, I just could not get a practice to stick. Sitting in stillness did nothing except make me feel more stressed (my mind just does not stop thinking, and then I get frustrated I can’t meditate “right…”), and then it felt like such a chore that I would push off even the five minutes I made my goal. Enter: The Superhuman App. Spending $30 a month felt like way too steep of an investment, but it has Changed. My. Life—I would pay the monthly fee a thousand times over. The app contains guided meditations for any amount of time (from one minute to 45 minutes), on any subject (manifesting, reaching your health goals, improving self-love, and more). But the best part is that there are many categories for walking meditations, cleaning/running errand meditations, or even getting ready in the morning. It’s transformed the way I think of meditation and has made a huge difference in my life. Also, putting money toward something has really helped me make it a daily habit because I don’t want the money to go to waste!

      Our Wellness Editor Swears These 9 Realistic Habits Transformed Her Body More

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      These Heart-Pumping Cardio Circuit Workouts Are Perfect For When You’re Short On Time

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      Maybe the weather is absolutely brutal outside and you can’t make it to the gym, or maybe you just have a quick 10 minutes to break a sweat in your living room. Either way, the perfect solution is this at-home cardio circuit workout (with video!). In no time at all, you’ll rev your heart rate, and feel damn good about yourself for making it happen.
      By incorporating jumps and explosive moves, you’re building strength using your own body weight – so cardio doubles up as resistance training, which is clutch for building toned muscle and upping endurance.
      To help you get your cardio fix for the day, celebrity fitness trainer and “Revenge Body” star Lacey Stone has you covered. Choose one of the three-move cardio circuit workouts below and get sweating.
      Time: 10 minutes
      Equipment: None
      Good for: Cardio
      Instructions: For each move, do 20 reps, then continue to the next move. Repeat the entire three-move circuit three times total.
      Cardio Circuit Workout 1
      1. Jump And Shuffle

      How to: Start in a squat position, with your hips back and knees in line with your ankles. From here, hop forward as far as you can, and land in the same squat position. Shuffle backwards until you reach your starting point. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps. Immediately move to the next exercise.
      READ MORE: 14 Dumbbell Exercises For Seriously Toned Arms
      2. Lateral Hops

      How to: Stand with both feet flat on the floor. Lift your left knee, and using your right leg for power, leap to the left. Land on your left leg with your right knee raised. As soon as you land, leap back to the starting position. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps. Immediately move to the next exercise.
      3. Wonder Woman

      How to: Start in a standing position, as if you’re setting up to do a jumping jack. Jump your feet out, wider than hip-width apart, and stretch your arms out to the side at the same time. Jump your feet to the centre and cross them, one in front of the other. At the same time, cross your forearms in front of your face. That’s one rep. Continue for 20 reps.
      Repeat the entire circuit three times.
      READ MORE: This At-Home Workout Targets Every Area For A Total-Body Transformation
      Cardio Circuit Workout 2
      1. Wrist To Ankle

      How to: Start in a standing position. Then, raise your right leg in front of you, keeping it straight, as you hop on your left foot. At the same time, swing your left hand in front of your body toward your right ankle. Immediately repeat on the other side. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps. Immediately move to the next exercise.
      2. Star Jump

      How to: Start with both feet together, firmly planted on the ground, with your hips slightly hinged backwards. From here, jump as high as you can and stretch your arms out straight in either direction. Return to start. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps. Immediately move to the next exercise.
      READ MORE: 6 Reasons That Explain Why You’re Constantly Tired
      3. Tuck Jump

      How to: Begin standing with your feet hip-width distance apart. Drop down into a half squat as you prepare your legs to explode. Let your arms drop back behind to assist in the jump. Using your arms to pull, explode up into a high jump, bringing your knees up to your chest in a tuck. Land softly and immediately drop back into the half squat. That’s one rep. Do 20 reps.
      Repeat the entire circuit three times.
      This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com  More

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      How To Handle Your Crush On A Colleague In A Professional Manner

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      If only life was like the set of the Netflix series The Bold Type. A magazine fashion assistant falls in love with the company’s in-house attorney. After fooling around for months, anxious that they’d get caught, the pair decide to go public with their relationship. Except, Sutton the assistant is worried that she’ll be branded ‘The girl who slept her way to the top’. Both move on, but still wondering what would’ve been had they given their office romance a shot in a normal setting.
      Unfortunately, life is no reenaction of a TV story line. When it comes to shooting your shot in a real-life office setting, telling your colleague you’re ‘feeling them’ and then promptly diving into their mouth tongue-first isn’t the best idea… especially since you’re going to see them every day, whether or not things work out the way you fantasized at your desk.
      Playing it subtly is key when water cooler conversations turn flirtatious, says Dr Jane Greer, a relationship expert and author of What About Me?.
      Here’s how to handle crushing on a colleague:
      1. Check in on company policy.
      Dust off that employee handbook and learn whether or not relationships between employees are even allowed, Greer says.
      “It’s totally fine to have a crush on a coworker, but it’s all about how you handle it,” she explains. Before you offer up your heart and soul, know whether doing so could put your career in jeopardy. If it can, you might want to try some dating apps instead.
      READ MORE: Curving Is The Newest Dating Trend, And It Might Be Even Worse Than Ghosting
      2. If you choose to proceed in secrecy, know the risks.
      “Sometimes you can’t help if you fall in love with somebody,” says Greer. “The problem with that is everybody feels the energy, and people will know.” Resentful colleagues might threaten to expose you, the stress of keeping your relationship under wraps might cause strain, and if a superior finds out, you might get knocked off the promotion track, or worse, get fired.
      So, instead of violating company policy, take stock of your options. If you want to act on your feelings that badly, consider moving to a different department, or switching to another company entirely before betting your job stability on a crush.
      But hey, if love conquers job, Greer says, do you. Just remember, you’ve been warned.
      3. If coworker relationships are allowed, turn up the flirtation—but keep it cool.
      “Show them behaviorally that they’re on your mind,” says Greer. You might ask them what kind of coffee they enjoy and later bring them a cup, strike up brief conversations about upcoming local events, or ask them about their latest work project, so you can establish a rapport.
      Basically, you want to be thoughtful, but super subtle in your flirting—call it micro-flirting, if you will. “You don’t want to engage in anything that is overt or seductive or that can be misinterpreted as sexual harassment,” says Greer. Whatever you say needs to be suitable for the workplace.
      And once your coworker feels comfortable around you, and maybe even initiates conversation, you can move on to the next step.
      READ MORE: 14 Emotional Affair Signs You Need To Be Aware Of
      4. Take it outside.
      While you can (internally) thank your boss for inadvertently playing matchmaker, limit the budding romance to outside office doors. Hopefully, through the thoughtful gestures, Greer says, your crush might warm up to the idea of getting to know you after hours.
      To keep the pressure off, invite them to something casual. Greer suggests asking them to join you for a post-work cup of coffee or drink. “Depending on their response, that gives you an idea of whether they’re even remotely interested in getting to know you better, or not,” she explains.
      5. If they’re into it, go for it.
      While a date with your office crush is super exciting, remember you’re going to be face-to-face with them—at work—in a less than 24 hours. You’ve established your workplace camaraderie, sure, but your romantic chemistry is still up in the air.
      Greer wants you to “let your hair down,” but keep in mind that, unlike a blind date or casual hookup, the two of you are now straddling two environments—work and personal life—that you’ll need to engage in. If things work out according to your fantasies, eventually navigating between the two will feel like second nature since you’ll have established ground rules on how to engage in the office. But for now, tread lightly.
      6. If they’re not, bow out.
      As it turns out, not all crushes are reciprocated (who knew? Jk, I did).
      If your crush doesn’t want to go out for drinks, or if they agree and after aren’t interested in doing it again, don’t push it, says Greer. Doing so would “put you in a potentially vulnerable position and put the other person in an extremely uncomfortable one.” What you might see as trying to “talk it out” might make your crush uneasy and could even motivate them to alert a supervisor about your behaviour.
      Instead, “continue being friendly and demonstrating thoughtfulness, but tone it [waaayy] down,” says Greer. She also recommends giving your crush some space.
      And in that time apart, take care of yourself. “Limit your encounters so that you’re not putting yourself in a position of feeling rejected or disappointed by their lack of interest,” says Greer. Soon enough, your crush will go back to being just another person at your office.
      This article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com  More

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      5 Daily Non-Negotiables of Women Who Are Always Confident

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      I came into this world with certain attributes that took no effort: my almond-shaped eyes, my obsession for anything peanut butter and chocolate, and my more-than-I-care-to-admit muscular calves (thanks, Dad). Confidence, on the other hand, is a trait I can say, without a doubt, I was not blessed with from day one. In fact, self-esteem is an unfamiliar feeling I struggle with. But confidence is a learned skill that takes practice, much like riding a bike or mastering a new language—something I gleaned from Jessica Chang-Irish, founder of Jessica Chang Consulting and a coach who trains women to speak and carry themselves more confidently.
      So how does Chang-Irish define confidence? “Confidence isn’t about being self-assured all the time,” she stated. “Rather, it’s a practice of self-awareness, acknowledging your value and gifts as well as your insecurities, and having the courage to break through those insecurities and do the hard things anyway—whether it be getting a new job, putting yourself back out in the dating scene, or recovering from an injury. Being a confident person also means being vulnerable. Confident people aren’t afraid to be vulnerable because they know they’re still valuable while being human and imperfect.” 
      It turns out, even confidence pros who exude major boss vibes have to work on their self-confidence every. single. day. Ahead, Chang-Irish’s daily must-haves to finding your inner power and confidence. Hint: They’re not your average tips. 

      Meet the expert
      Jessica Chang-Irish
      Speaking with Confidence Coach
      Jessica Chang-Irish is an Emmy-award winning news reporter turned public speaking coach who empowers women looking to build their influence through in-person or on-camera speaking. By combining her experience on camera and in marketing, she helps women who feel nervous about public speaking by equipping them with proven strategies and frameworks to boost their speaking skills and confidence.

      1. Remember your “why”
      Knowing your “why” (AKA your purpose) is the first step in tapping into your confidence. Why do you get out of bed every morning? Why do you do what you do? “Your why is your Northstar to turn to when you feel unsure or you’re being tested,” Chang-Irish explained. Author and speaker Simon Sinek agrees that when you start with your why (versus how and what you do), you have the ability to inspire those around you and yourself.
      Think of your why as your mission statement. It doesn’t just have to apply to your career— it could be for your personal life too. Then, write it out. You can start with: “In everything I do, I believe …” Chang-Irish shared hers: “In everything I do and everyone I work with, I believe each and every person is capable of finding their voice and shining in the spotlight, and that I can empower and equip them to become a more confident version of themselves.” Once you’ve jotted down your why, post it up somewhere you frequent every day as a friendly reminder (think: your desk, fridge, bathroom mirror). 

      2. Surround yourself with a tribe of like-minded women
      Let’s face it: We’re our own worst critics. I don’t think twice about complimenting a stranger for her on-point ‘fit, but when it comes to myself, I nit-pick and dwell on my imperfections. Enter: friends or mentors who can empathize with you but don’t let you wallow in the “what ifs” and all-or-nothing thinking. Oh, and they give you a good kick in the butt to keep at it. Chang-Irish pointed out that your tribe could comprise of your friends, sisters, cousins, co-workers, or even communities on social media who share your interests. Be intentional about building your circle—each person may bring something different to the table, but they all should help you stay aligned with your purpose and your most authentic self. 

      3. Pay attention to your inner voice
      PSA: What you tell yourself matters. Whether you realize it or not, your self-talk can make the difference between gaining confidence and standing in your own way. The seemingly harmless narrative—”I’m not good/smart/pretty enough” or “I can’t”—you’ve been telling yourself creates your reality. On the flip side, fostering an optimistic monologue in your mind boosts your self-confidence and bids negative emotions adieu. In fact, people who can master positive thoughts and beliefs are more confident, motivated, and productive.
      “It’s up to you to develop your own inner voice of encouragement,” said Chang-Irish. “Or maybe you’ll find that voice in someone from your tribe. When you hear that voice of doubt in your head or feel the fear rising up, rewrite those limiting thinking patterns and remind yourself that you can do hard things. When you practice shifting your inner voice of doubt to a voice of encouragement, your confidence will flourish.”

      4. Prepare for the important interactions you’ll have 
      Think back to your college days or an interview you recently had. How confident were you walking into a final or your dream company and having put in the effort to study and do your research? My guess is way more confident than had you not prepared. In the same vein, laying the groundwork for the important conversations you’ll have in your day ahead will set you up for success and give you the opportunity to flex your confidence muscles.
      “Whether it’s a date, meeting, job interview, or networking event, think about what you’ll say in the five to 10 seconds you have to introduce yourself, how you’ll keep the conversation going, and what’s in it for the person or people you’re talking to,” Chang-Irish recommended. “While that first impression catches their attention, how are you going to keep their attention? One of the best ways to do that is to ask them questions. Do your homework about the person or people you’ll meet and come up with questions about their interests that genuinely interest you.”

      5. Listen to podcasts that fill your soul and lift you up
      Much like your tribe reminds you of your purpose and worth, the right podcast can be just the friend or voice you need for your daily dose of confidence. And, sure enough, there is no shortage of motivational podcasts that are just a tap away. Chang-Irish’s go-to’s are  “Oprah’s Super Soul,” “The Marie Forleo Podcast,” and “How to Fail With Elizabeth Day,” where you can expect open dialogue and sage advice from industry experts and celebs. And did you listen to The Everygirl Podcast yet? The episode with confidence coach, Regina Bonds, has such great insight into truly loving yourself and showing up as your most confident self. 
      Adding a few inspirational programs to your queue will not only give you a shot of self-belief but also a reprieve from the usual suspects—the “nevers,” “what ifs,” and “can’ts” (ruminating, who?). So go ahead and take that podcast out for a spin (read: walk) and get ready for an extra pep in your “hot girl” step. 

      This Easy Daily Habit Changed My Confidence More

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      Deal Alert: This Thrusting Happy Rabbit Vibrator We Love Is 25% Off RN!

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      So. Rabbit vibrators. Thus named because of the two little “ears” that are designed to stimulate your clitoris, while the main shaft of the toy finds your G-spot. Simple enough. And more than effective enough at producing orgasms. What more could a girl want? Turns out, the people at Lovehoney asked themselves that exact question and really pulled a rabbit out of the hat with the Happy Rabbit Thrusting Vibrator.
      Why We Love The This Happy Rabbit Vibrator
      I can see your eyebrow rising in interest at the word “thrusting”. Of course, all vibrators have thrusting abilities – all you need to do is move your hand – but this toy actually does the thrusting for you because it has built-in thrusting technology (sounds super sexy) that delivers real-feel stimulation to imitate real-deal sexual relations.
      READ MORE: 5 Rabbit Vibrators You Need To Add To Your Collection Today
      The shaft has three thrusting speeds and the “happy ears” have a powerful motor with three speeds and six patterns, all of which promise to provide you with intense, spine-tingling blended pleasure. The toy is covered with velvet-soft silicone and is waterproof so you don’t need to limit your fun to dry land. It’s also USB rechargeable and has a nifty travel lock to make sure it doesn’t hop into action as you’re making your way through customs.
      This rabbit is pretty big, so it could be a bit intimidating to those brand-new to the toy game, but it’s super-simple to use (it only has two buttons) so you don’t need a PhD in engineering to get yourself off. If you’re looking for something new and exciting that will take you down a rabbit hole of fun, this Happy Rabbit vibrator is just for you. And as always, a good water-based lubricant is a must.
      READ MORE: 6 Legit **Quiet** Vibrators That’ll Get You Off Anytime, Anywhere
      [buy_button img=”https://www.womenshealthsa.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/happy-rabbit-thrusting-realistic-rabbit-vibrator-lovehoney.jpg” url=”https://c.trackmytarget.com?a=qru1ek&i=ph1q1o&ref1=HappyThrustingRabbitReview&r=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.desir.co.za%2Fsex-toys%2Flovehoney%2Fhappy-rabbit-thrusting-realistic-rabbit-vibrator-lovehoney-ref1761.html” description=”Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Thrusting Realistic Rabbit Vibrator” price=”1 492″ title=”Buy Now” alignment=”row”][/buy_button]
      Heads Up: To celebrate Women’s Day, Desir is giving all the ladies an early spoil with 25% off their entire Rabbit Vibrator category. You can check out all they toys available here. The promotion runs from Monday 1st August until Monday 8th August and is applicable for Showroom visits too.
      Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More

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      I Grilled a Life Coach and Her Tips Will Transform Your Anxiety

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      Racing thoughts, pounding heartbeat, heaviness in my chest, the all-consuming, sometimes debilitating sense of fear—just some of the unnerving ways anxiety shows up like an unannounced, unwelcome guest. If you’re one of the 40 million adults in the U.S. who experience anxiety like me, said symptoms are hard to shake off. While it may be comforting to know we’re in good company, having a handful of coping mechanisms at the ready to work through bouts of anxiety can make all the difference. Because–let’s be real– sometimes no amount of logic will cut it. I turned to Alana Warlop, a psychotherapist and life coach, to get the lowdown on her anxiety tips for reclaiming your calmness when it strikes. We got this. 

      Meet the expert
      Alana Warlop
      Life Coach
      Alana Warlop is a spiritual psychotherapist and transformational coach who has guided countless women into next levels of leadership and impact. From traditional transpersonal therapy to utilizing breathwork and meditation, she has spent much of her life learning what it means to heal and experience a life beyond limits.

      What is anxiety exactly?
      Sure, I could try to pinpoint the all-too-familiar ways that anxiety manifests itself for me, but it looks different for everyone. For some, it’s constant, and for others, it’s triggered by a stressful situation (looking at you, health scare) or creeps up out of nowhere when everything was coming up roses. Putting into words what anxiety really is can help us identify and take control of it, no matter the person. “[Anxiety is] a crafty way of distracting your attention and holding the energy of your awareness hostage in a never-ending search for a ‘solution’ that alleviates the discomfort that you are experiencing,” explained Warlop. “We perseverate in hopes that we can find a logical reason why we feel hurt, depressed, judged, shamed, guilty, blamed, or self-critical. And, if we know why, then we think the reasoning will justify our feelings and they will settle.” Warlop warned that that approach rarely works, and if it does, it’s only for the short-term.
      But why doesn’t reasoning work, you ask? “Anxiety is a product of stuck, stale, or stagnant emotional energy and incomplete trauma patterns pent up in the nervous system,” Warlop elaborated. “Emotions and traumas that are unresolved stay stuck in our bodies and build in their power to hijack the limbic and nervous systems, which control our behavior above and beyond any logic you could ever muster.” Long story short, at the root of it, anxiety is the mind’s natural defense against having to feel or experience something painful. While you should always talk to your doctor or therapist if experiencing anxiety, Warlop lets us in on some hacks you can try to not only manage anxiety but to heal from it so it doesn’t get in the way of living your best lives. 

      Tips to help during moments of anxiety:
      Bring awareness to your breath
      There is no shortage of “take a deep breath” memes floating on the world wide web, but it’s for good reason. The practice has become the go-to method in times of stress, and Warlop emphasized that it’s one of the best things you can do when experiencing anxiety. “Feel the breath move in and out of the body so that the attention from the mind goes into the body,” she instructed. “Let the body know that it is safe to experience all that is there and then ask, ‘What am I afraid to feel?’” 
      Warlop also suggested moving your attention to the heart: “Imagine breathing a beautiful, warm, golden energy into the heart space with every breath. Let this light grow in size and calming power inside you. This will also move you forward into soothing yourself, instead of wasting energy searching for a solution to an unanswerable (and, most of the time, made up) problem or insecurity.”

      Feel your feelings
      Having feelings is as natural and involuntary as breathing, but Warlop clarified that feeling is simply a physical sensation and anything beyond that are stories and perceptions that we attach to the feeling. “We are conditioned to think about our feelings instead of actually feeling them, so many people I work with have no idea that they don’t actually know how to feel feelings without telling stories and attaching meaning to them,” she stated. On the other hand, shifting your focus from what’s going on outside of you to your internal experience of your senses, energy, and emotions (AKA “felt sense”) will bring your awareness to the present moment. The result? There is nothing that you cannot truly feel, and allowing yourself to really feel everything that comes along with anxiety will help kick it to the curb.

      Don’t judge your thoughts
      I’m no stranger to thoughts taking over my mind and spiraling further into an anxious episode. You know, like “What if things don’t work out,” “Nobody likes me,” or “I’m not good enough.” Warlop advised giving myself space to be curious about those beliefs and distracting myself from them, rather than reacting to them: “Carry around an essential oil you love to smell when you can start to feel yourself going in the direction of repetitive and worrisome thoughts. Brush your fingertips along the skin of your arm or face, and focus on the pleasant sensation. Put on calming music and focus on the sound frequencies.” In other words, tap into all of your senses—sight, smell, touch, taste, and hearing—to instantly bring you back to the present moment.  

      Take care of your basic needs every day
      PSA: Anxiety is the body’s way of letting you know that it is in distress and needs more care. Call it self-care or creating a solid, foolproof routine, but prioritizing basic health and wellness habits is Warlop’s non-negotiable. If you’re not catching enough Zzzs, I’ve got (bad) news for you: Lack of sleep makes the list of top culprits of anxiety. Warlop suggested forgoing your daily nightcap or the next episode in your Netflix cue and letting your body reset. “7-9 hours of sleep, good nutrition, nature time, and working out are essential in shifting the inner landscape,” she stressed. “And for added bonus points, try meditation. Consistent meditation is a game-changer in resetting your nervous and limbic systems.”

      These tips are not meant to serve as treatment for anxiety disorder. If you are struggling with anxiety, please reach out to your doctor, a therapist, or another trusted professional for support.Crisis Textline: text CONNECT to 741741

      7 Tips To Change Your Mindset so You Can Manifest Your Dream Life More

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      Stress Can Mess With Your Vaginal Health–Here’s What You Should Know and How To Deal Accordingly

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      It’s no secret that stress can take a toll on your body, so it’s unsurprising that it can mess with your vaginal health too. Now, I know what you’re thinking: Another thing I have to worry about?! Trust me, I get it—sometimes you get so caught up in trying to ward off  stress that you end up stressing yourself out even more because you’re stressed about not being stressed. It’s a vicious cycle and one that’s easy to fall into. That said, taking the time to learn about how stress truly affects your body can help you manage stress and its effects, or might even know what signs and symptoms to look out for that your body might be trying to tell you.
      A brief disclosure: If you’re experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned below, scheduling an appointment with your OB-GYN is never a bad idea. If stress is the root cause (or you feel a lot of stress, even if it’s pre-symptoms), make sure you’re also carving out time for yourself to practice self-care and using healthy outlets, such as meditating, journaling, or exercising as ways to manage stress. At the end of the day, finding what works for you and nourishing your mind, body, and soul is going to keep both you and your vagina happy and healthy. Keep scrolling to learn five major ways stress can mess with your reproductive health and how to deal accordingly, along with tips and tricks to de-stress so you can better take care of your mind and body.

      1. Changes in discharge and increased risk of infection
      Stress can suppress the immune system and may seriously disrupt the pH levels in the vulva. When this happens, you may notice discharge that smells funky, is thicker than usual, or darker in color. This occurs because your body’s defense mechanisms are lowered and your vagina has more difficulty weeding out bad bacteria, making it more susceptible to infection. Although discharge is totally normal and changes throughout your cycle, think of it as a window into your body’s overall health: If there’s an abrupt, drastic change in it, it’s usually a telltale sign that something more is going on.
      It may be an isolated incident or an infection, like bacterial vaginosis or a yeast infection. Talking to your doctor about any changes in discharge or concerns about possible infection is always a good idea as they may be able to provide you with a prescription or over-the-counter remedy. You could also talk to your doctor about trying over-the-counter supplements and vitamins like probiotics or vitamins D and C. Some types of probiotics may help the vagina maintain a healthy pH level, while vitamin D and C can help strengthen your immune system.

      2. Vaginal dryness
      Stress can reduce the amount of blood flow to the vagina, which in turn can reduce moisture and cause dryness. “With stress on your mind, hormone levels will begin to shift—as cortisol rises, testosterone (essential for your libido) will dip,” Dr. Alyssa Liguori, an OB/GYN based in Georgia, wrote for Northside Hospital. “Your body won’t be sending enough blood down there to increase moisture, so vaginal dryness and/or discomfort is more likely.” This dryness can also cause painful sex and an inability to orgasm—two things you definitely do not need in your life.

      3. Low libido
      When you have a huge work deadline looming, student loans to pay off, and a packed social calendar, sex is probably going to be the last thing on your mind. It’s normal, but it turns out there’s a medical reason for it. Because your testosterone levels dip as cortisol levels rise, you not only experience vaginal dryness, but may experience low sex drive as well, since testosterone is essential for libido. However, getting it on can actually destress you: orgasming regularly can improve your mood, release stress hormones, and keep your vagina from getting depressed (who else remembers the Sex and the City episode where Charlotte announces at lunch her vagina has depression?). Even if you’re not totally in the mood, it may be worth reaching for your vibrator to try to destress. However, if you’re experiencing zero interest or changes in sex drive, always talk to your doctor (remember that libido is an important vital sign!)

      4. Changes in menstrual cycle
      If you have a menstrual cycle, its completely run on hormones (the different changes in your cycle are due to estrogen and progesterone levels). If your stress hormones are out of whack, your menstrual cycle can become irregular, those notorious PMS symptoms can intensify, or you may skip a period altogether. This can also cause fertility issues since irregular periods can distress ovulation schedules and make getting pregnant more difficult. If you’re experiencing painful or irregular periods and have felt extra stressed, your cortisol levels could be to blame. As always, if you experience any changes in your menstrual cycle, always talk with your doctor to get to the root cause.

      5. Tight pelvic floor
      The pelvic floor is especially important for women with uteruses since it’s responsible for bowel and bladder movements, and provides support to the reproductive system. A strong pelvic floor makes sex more enjoyable and orgasms stronger. When we’re stressed, however, we can physically seize up (think: clenched jaw or fists) and that tension can reach our pelvic floor.
      A few early signs of a tight pelvic floor are constipation, pain during sex, and lower back pain. Hip, back, abdominal, or leg pain, a feeling of heaviness as though the pelvic floor is dragging, strain with bowel movements or emptying your bladder, or inability to completely empty the bowels or bladder, and a strong urgency to run to the restroom are also signs of pelvic floor dysfunction. If you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, consider seeing a pelvic floor physical therapist.

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