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      People Pleasing Can Have Some Harmful Mental Health Effects — Experts Say This Is How To Stop

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      You always show up for others, even when that means overbooking your social calendar. You feel most satisfied putting your partner’s needs first, even when you feel burnt out. You feel an incessant need to pick up the slack at work, even when other co-workers aren’t pulling their weight. You’re exhausted and the worst part? No one even knows.

      Are You A People Pleaser By Definition?

      If this sounds like you, you may have some people-pleasing tendencies. And if you do, you’re not alone in your tendency to be a bit too accommodating. Nearly half of adults (49 percent) self-identified as people-pleasers in a 2022 YouGov poll. Considering society seems to be evenly split between givers and takers, trying to find a happy medium in any relationship can be tricky. Think about it: If there’s one people pleaser in a relationship, they’ll often choose the path of least resistance to keep the other person happy. When two people-pleasers get together, it can create a well-intentioned stalemate of “What do you want to do?” vs. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

      While a healthy relationship is a tango of balancing each person’s desires, “a people pleaser completely stifles their needs and wants, if they even know what they are, and lives their relationships through this very one-sided place,” says Krystal Mazzola Wood. This behaviour is often due to insecurities about their own self-worth, identity and relationships, says Jessica Carbino.

      Meet the Experts: Krystal Mazzola Wood, LMFT, is a certified therapist and the author of Setting Boundaries: 100 Ways to Protect Yourself, Strengthen Your Relationships and Build the Life You Want Starting Now. Jessica Carbino, PhD, is a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble. Lauren Cook, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in California.

      While some key indicators of people-pleasing aren’t inherently negative per se, they can have some negative effects. Ahead, experts break down everything to know about people-pleasing, including five helpful ways to nip it for good.

      Signs Of A People Pleaser

      They go with the flow…to a fault.

      “People pleasers aren’t willing to assert themselves and make their needs known—even if they don’t agree,” says Carbino. “People pleasers kind of have a mindset of ‘I have to do whatever the group wants in order to not compromise the situation, despite what I want.’”

      They’re also less likely to be upfront about what they want in a relationship. So, maybe they agree to go on a hike even though they aren’t outdoorsy, or say yes to a sushi date despite their disdain towards seafood.

      They have a hard time saying no.

      Maintaining an agreeable attitude is super important to people pleasers, says Carbino. They’re inclined to say yes, even if it hinders them, because they often feel guilty if they say no, says Mazzola Wood: “The guilt typically manifests into this idea that if they do say no, then they’re being mean to others.”

      So, next time you feel guilty about being unable to attend two birthday parties on the same night, pause for a sec. “Feel the guilt and shift your relationship with it,” says Mazzola Wood. “Then, take the next actionable steps like setting boundaries.” (More on that later!)

      They always take the blame.

      Instead of playing the blame game, people pleasers will immediately take the fall and issue an apology so they don’t compromise the stability of the relationship, says Carbino. This sign is especially common in friendships—say the non-people pleaser suggests grabbing coffee with you, a people-pleaser, but then they forget about the plans and don’t show up. Rather than acknowledging that it was the other person’s fault that these plans fell through, a people pleaser will apologise for not confirming the plans…even though the coffee date was the other person’s idea.

      They stay in unfulfilling relationships.

      This is often due to a fear of disappointing their partner or making them upset once they start seriously dating someone else, says Lauren Cook. “People pleasers are more afraid of leaving the relationship, even if that may be in their best interest.”

      They forget how to articulate their wants and needs.

      One of the biggest indicators of people pleasing is when someone isn’t able to identify their own wants and needs, says Mazzola Wood. Say, for example, it’s your birthday and because you didn’t want to feel like a burden, you didn’t tell your S.O. to make dinner reservations at your favourite restaurant. You’re torn: You secretly feel upset they didn’t reserve a table, but you try to brush it off to avoid upsetting your S.O.

      They harbour resentment.

      Resentment is something that can build over time and eventually lead to a volcanic explosion of anger, says Cook. This can affect people pleasers, as they love to focus on others’ feelings and will even build you a soapbox to stand on whenever you need to rant. However, sometimes this can create one-sided relationships, resulting in resentment on the people pleaser’s side if they begin to feel like their thoughts and emotions don’t matter, says Mazzola Wood.

      They are consumed with being well-liked.

      While people pleasers hate being the centre of attention, they do feed off external validation and popularity. This is especially true in large families or friend groups, where it’s easy to get lost in the shuffle. However, their need for validation can be at a detriment to their own self-worth.

      “If everybody is raving about someone, that becomes a vicious cycle because it feeds the need of a people pleaser,” says Cook. “They are loved more for what they do than who they are.” Because people pleasers tend to put others’ needs before their own, their own desires often fall by the wayside, preventing them from being truly vulnerable with others.

      They experience a spike in anxious thoughts.

      Does your mind immediately jump to the worst-case scenario? Well, that’s another common sign of people-pleasing. “People pleasers get anxiety about others getting mad at them,” says Cook. “This can lead them to ruminate on things they may have done or said.” Sometimes, a people pleaser will even play out scenarios in their mind in which they try fictionally setting a boundary, but the other person lashes out or cuts them off, adds Cook. This tornado of anxiety can cause someone to spiral.

      READ MORE: 13 Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship Or Friendship — And How To GTFO

      Causes Of A People Pleaser

      Most causes of people-pleasing develop in childhood, where certain traits (like the unrelenting desire to always be the best of the best, whether it’s in school, sports, or amongst your siblings) are applauded or labelled “good.” However, sometimes people-pleasing tendencies can also develop in adulthood via a toxic work environment or unhealthy romantic relationship. The most important thing is being able to identify the root of people-pleasing, so you learn and heal from it:

      Inheriting Performance Anxiety

      A lot of times, families will put pressure on kids to dominate in sports or get straight As in school. While typically exercised in good faith, this behaviour teaches young people pleasers how to perform for others. It can teach someone to believe that “they can’t make mistakes in order to keep others happy,” says Mazzola Wood.

      Lack Of Unconditional Love

      “If love or approval was given based on what someone did in the family versus their inherent being of who they are, that can prompt someone to feel like they have to do more and more to earn someone’s love,” says Cook. Conditional love can also occur in romantic relationships in which a people pleaser may feel as though they have to check all of their partner’s boxes to be worthy of their affection.

      Fear Of Abandonment

      “Abandonment is an emotional wound,” whether it’s experienced at a young age with a parent or as an adult in a romantic relationship, says Mazzola Wood. Individuals who have been neglected in the past will shift the focus onto someone else instead of themselves. They’ll place that person’s needs on a silver platter in hopes of preventing history from repeating itself, says Mazzola Wood.

      Harmful Adult Relationships

      People-pleasing behaviours can be triggered in adulthood, too. For instance, say someone tries to set boundaries with a toxic coworker only for the professional environment to turn sour. That can greatly diminish someone’s self-confidence and ability to use their voice. This situation can cause someone to overthink so much that “they can’t stand up for themselves in fear of being publicly scrutinised,” says Cook.

      READ MORE: 5 Practical Ways To Strengthen Your Relationship

      The Negative Effects Of Being A People Pleaser

      They experience high levels of anxiety.

      “Oftentimes, people pleasers don’t allow themselves the space to celebrate their achievements because they’re too focused on nailing the next big thing,” says Mazzola Wood.

      For instance, maybe they were promoted at work, but the position above them is still open for hire. Instead of going out for a celebratory drink, a people pleaser will stifle their accomplishment and ruminate on how they could’ve done better. This go-go-go energy can spiral into high levels of anxiety, excessive thoughts, pressure to perform and even panic attacks, she says.

      They tend to have one-sided—and unfulfilling—relationships.

      Many love keeping people pleasers around because they make great listeners, but the favour isn’t always returned to them. Because people pleasers often aren’t familiar with expressing their needs or emotions, they may feel like “they are living a life for everyone else and not for themselves,” says Cook. This pattern can lead someone to recluse emotionally and foster deep resentment towards others, which can ultimately manifest into snide remarks, then an all-out argument, and sometimes even break up relationships for good.

      They’re lonely.

      The pressure to feel like you’re well-liked by everyone can sometimes be isolating. It’s as if you’re a blank canvas upon which each person you’re trying to please can paint their own picture of who they want you to be. “You feel like no one truly knows you and that there are other dimensions of you that are unknown,” says Carbino, because you’re always putting on a show for others. Feeling as though you are alone on an island can cause someone to miss out on professional opportunities or trying new hobbies that could lead to new relationships because you’re so unused to not only being yourself but also being accepted for who that person is.

      READ MORE: Here’s How To Spot Secret Addictions And Tips To Break The Cycle

      How To Stop Being A People Pleaser

      Wait 24 hours before agreeing to or turning down a request.

      People pleasers are “yes” people by definition, even if they’re too busy or aren’t particularly interested in the task at hand. So, the next time someone asks for a favour, Cook suggests letting a full 24 hours pass before answering. Not only will you have plenty of time to sleep on the request, but you can also “evaluate whether you’re actually excited about helping out this individual, or just saying yes out of a sense of obligation,” she says.

      In the meantime, identify your own needs, wants and feelings.

      It can be especially challenging for people pleasers to cultivate genuine intimacy with others. “If we don’t share our truest needs, wants, or feelings with someone, then we aren’t being vulnerable or showing up in the relationship,” says Mazzola Wood. In fact, that’s just reinvigorating the pleasing cycle. If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself, you’ll struggle to share a deeper connection with others.

      Use the time you would’ve spent immediately responding to the aforementioned request by prioritising self-exploration through journaling. “Ask yourself what you really think or feel about a person or situation,” says Mazzola Wood. “Determine if a need isn’t being met or if a boundary is being violated and then decide what you need to do to fix that.”

      Start saying no.

      Now that you’ve given yourself time to assess your wants and needs, it’s time to put what you’ve learned about yourself into action. Although saying no may not come naturally to you, it’s one of the most empowering and invigorating ways to squash people-pleasing habits, says Carbino. If someone asks you to cat-sit for five days in a row while they’re on vacation, say something like: “I’d love to help you with that, but I have prior commitments on a few of those days. However, I can help on one of them.” By responding this way, you’re still offering to help, but are ultimately putting your own needs first, she says.

      Plus, saying no to menial tasks like that will show you you’re capable of setting boundaries, says Cook. “You also get to see how the other person reacts—were they trying to take advantage of your kindness, or do they respect your boundaries?” she adds.

      Set boundaries.

      This step is imperative for improving your mental health, the experts say. However, setting boundaries can be difficult for someone who is more concerned with keeping the peace and putting everyone else’s happiness above their own. “Speaking up for yourself is a muscle and it’s going to take some practice for that muscle to grow stronger and more confident,” says Mazzola Wood.

      First, change the way you speak to others by using “I” statements, such as “I feel,” says Mazzola Wood. This way, you’re able to prioritise and express yourself without coming off as accusatory or passive-aggressive. For instance, if your S.O.’s texting style isn’t conducive to your workflow, something along the lines of, “I love that you want to know how my day is going, but work is super busy. What if we have a FaceTime date after work tonight?” This way, you’re setting a clear boundary while also meeting both your and your partner’s needs.

      READ MORE: Why You Need Boundaries ASAP

      Test out being assertive in relationships where you feel secure.

      Being authoritative can sometimes feel overwhelming and foreign to people pleasers. Identify a relationship or two where you feel pretty secure—maybe your mom or childhood best friend—and try being assertive. In these more secure relationships, these people “respect our needs and limits,” Mazzola Wood says. “They want to meet us in the middle.”

      So, if your mom asks you to help her clean the house, run errands and set everything up for a family party, tell her you want to help but can only commit to running a few errands for her. This exercise will help you practice voicing your desires and feel more confident in other relationships where the other party may be quick to get defensive, says Carbino. Setting this simple boundary is a step towards being healthily assertive and minimise those people-pleasing tendencies.

      With the right tools and plenty of practice, you can start to refocus your people-pleasing habits on the person who really matters: yourself.

      This article written by Emily Weaver first appeared on Women’s Health US. More

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      Nailed it: Hidden Health Secrets Of Your Hands

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      Your hands are more than just functional tools; they can provide significant insights into your overall health. Let’s explore what your hands reveal about your overall well-being, the potential risks associated with certain hand care practices, and tips to keep your hands healthy and beautiful.

      What your hands say about your health

      Your hands can exhibit various signs that might indicate underlying health issues. Here are a few common observations.

      Nail colour and texture

      Pale or white nails can indicate anaemia or liver disease.

      Yellow nails might be a sign of fungal infection or respiratory issues.

      Pitted or rippled nails could suggest psoriasis or inflammatory arthritis.

      Skin condition

      Dry, cracked skin can indicate eczema or thyroid problems.

      Red, swollen skin might indicate an allergic reaction or infection.

      Hand strength and coordination

      A weak grip could be an early sign of conditions like arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome.

      Tremors or shaking might be related to neurological conditions such as Parkinson’s disease.

      Risks and dangers: Nail polish and remover

      Image by Freepik

      Manicures and pedicures can be a delightful boost to your confidence. But certain products used in these treatments may pose health risks. Here’s what you need to know.

      Nail polish

      Many nail polishes contain formaldehyde, toluene, and dibutyl phthalate (DBP), which can cause allergic reactions, respiratory issues, and even endocrine disruption.

      Be wary of these and other toxic ingredients, especially in nail polish that does not disclose the full ingredient list. Always opt for brands that are transparent about their formulations.

      Nail polish removers

      Acetone is a common ingredient that, while effective, can be harsh on nails and skin, causing dryness and brittleness.

      Non-acetone removers might be gentler but often contain other chemicals that can still cause irritation or allergic reactions.

      Recent studies have found polyfluoroalkyl substances (PFAS) in many cosmetic products, including nail polish removers. PFAS are linked to various health issues, including cancer and reproductive problems.

      READ MORE: How To Strengthen Brittle Nails, According To Dermatologists

      Protect yourself from harmful substances

      For a healthy, safe hand care routine, make sure to:

      Choose products wisely

      Look for nail polishes and removers labelled as “3-free,” “5-free,” or “7-free”, indicating they are free from some of the most harmful chemicals.

      Avoid products with unidentified “fragrance” ingredients, which can hide numerous harmful chemicals.

      Ensure proper ventilation

      When using nail polish or removers, ensure you are in a well-ventilated area to minimise inhaling fumes.

      Remember, natural isn’t always better

      Some natural products contain high levels of botanical extracts, which can cause allergic reactions. Always check the ingredient list.

      Handy tips for healthy hands

      Keeping your hands happy and healthy doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some simple, effective tips.

      Moisturise regularly: Use hand creams with nourishing ingredients like aloe vera, coconut oil, shea butter, vitamin E and glycerine.

      Protect your hands: Wear gloves when doing household chores or working with harsh chemicals.

      Hydrate: Drink plenty of water to keep your skin hydrated from the inside out.

      Go for regular check-ups: Pay attention to changes in your hands and consult a healthcare professional if you notice any concerning symptoms.

      READ MORE: 9 Great Hand Creams That’ll Prevent Dry, Cracked Hands

      By being mindful of the products you use and taking good care of your hands, you can enjoy gorgeous hands while minimising potential risks. Remember, your hands tell a story about your health. Make sure it’s a good one!

      Visit Medihelp’s website at www.medihelp.co.za.

      **WH Partnership More

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      Can Your VO2 Max Really Reduce Your Death Risk?

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      New research released by Discovery Vitality emphasises the need to view cardiorespiratory fitness (measured as VO2 max) as an important health risk metric. Insights were drawn from Discovery’s unique data, including lifestyle information, clinical screening results and insurance claims data. The findings show the tangible benefits of prioritising CRF which dramatically reduced risk of developing – and dying from – cardiovascular diseases, certain cancers and diabetes, among other conditions.

      [embedded content]

      Vitality Fitness: A one-tap, first-of-its-kind fitness platform

      Linked to these insights, Discovery Vitality announced the launch of two exciting updates to the programme aimed at enhancing the health outcomes of its members. They are a new rewards points metric based on cardiorespiratory fitness level, and a first-of-its-kind exercise platform called Vitality Fitness. The new platform brings a new level of convenience and access to Vitality members, enabling them to view and book an extensive range of workouts provided by a network of gyms and fitness studios around the country. Members access the booking platform through the Discovery app and can book classes in a few taps.

      “My vision is that the insights from this research on cardiorespiratory fitness help inform the global effort to combat the growing epidemic of physical inactivity and its associated health risks. We’re continually exploring ways to incentivise and promote healthier lifestyles among our members, and it’s important that these are backed by research and enabled through the smart use of technology to fit easily into people’s lives,” says Vitality CEO, Dinesh Govender

      READ MORE: Ready To Get Fit? Tap Into The New Vitality Fitness Platform

      VO2 Max: A Key Metric For Overall Health

      Cardiorespiratory fitness refers to how well your respiratory and circulatory systems supply your body with enough oxygen to keep exercising. VO2 max is a measure of the maximum amount of oxygen that your body can use when you’re exercising. As your VO2 max increases, so does your aerobic endurance and ultimately your cardiorespiratory fitness. It is a powerful indicator of one’s potential for a long and healthy life, as even a moderate improvement in VO2 max can reduce risk of death by 21-30%. By understanding and improving VO2 max, individuals can reduce their risk of cardiovascular diseases, certain cancers, and diabetes.

      Vitality’s newly published white paper on navigating cardio fitness for optimal health outcomes highlights the critical role of cardio fitness in health management: Vitality members with higher cardiorespiratory fitness levels experience 30% lower hospital claims, and exhibit 95% lower prevalence of obesity, 84% lower prevalence of high-risk blood glucose levels, and 70% lower prevalence of high blood pressure.

      Good Habits Can Influence Your CRF

      While many may think that their genes largely determine their cardiorespiratory fitness level, this research revealed the importance of forming good habits: Vitality’s fittest members tend to exercise more frequently, for longer, and at higher intensities. Vitality members with higher cardio fitness levels also tend to have earlier bedtimes, earlier wake-up times, and longer sleep durations. All in all, members with higher Vitality statuses exhibited higher cardiorespiratory fitness levels

      “Through advancements in wearable technology and the Vitality Fitness Assessment, our members can easily estimate their VO2 max. This cardio fitness measurement serves as a valuable benchmark for overall health. Our new white paper provides comprehensive research insights, practical guidelines, and tailored pathways to help members understand and improve their VO2 max,” says Dr. Mosima Mabunda, Vitality’s Head of Wellness.

      Prof Jon Patricios, Professor of Sports and Exercise Medicine at Wits University, adds, “In a country with stretched health resources and large disparities in access to care, there is an accessible and affordable solution: optimal cardiorespiratory fitness. The prescription of aerobic-based exercise provides some of the most effective disease prevention strategies and should be our core lifestyle intervention.”

      From July 2024 onwards, Vitality members can earn up to 10,000 Vitality points by improving their VO2 max.

      VO2 max readings will be categorised into five Vitality Cardio Fitness Levels: low, fair, good, excellent and superior. While there is no single ideal VO2 max, everyone should strive to improve to the next level due to the health benefits. The greatest health benefits are seen in individuals who move from a low to a fair level, with additional benefits realised as one improves to a good or higher level. For most people, reaching a good Vitality Cardio FitnessLevel for their age and gender is a great milestone and will provide the health protection needed to live a long, healthy life.

      “By rewarding Vitality members for knowing and improving their cardio fitness, we are not only encouraging varied exercise intensities and durations but also helping them protect their health and extend their lifespans,” says Govender.

      Download the research paper here: Navigating Cardiorespiratory Fitness for Optimal Health. More

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      PCOS Diet Plan: The Best Foods To Eat (And Limit) When You Have PCOS, According To Experts

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      If you’ve ever dealt with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and its array of uncomfortable symptoms, you’re not alone. A complex endocrine disorder, PCOS throws reproductive hormones off balance, causing about eight to thirteen percent of women of reproductive age to experience issues like irregular or missed periods, polycystic ovaries (large ovaries with many small follicles) and excess body hair, per the World Health Organization (WHO). And although there’s no one-size-fits-all treatment for PCOS, sometimes, little changes can go a long way—including to your diet.

      From a functional medicine perspective—which emphasises a personalised, systems-oriented approach that considers the underlying causes of disease—nutrition plays a critical role in managing PCOS, says Samantha Schleiger.

      “A strategic approach when it comes to nutrition and PCOS is centred upon lowering inflammation, supporting balanced blood sugar and providing an overall nourishing nutrient-dense diet to the body.”

      READ MORE: Millions of Women Struggle With PCOS In South Africa, So Let’s Unpack It

      Meet the experts: Samantha Schleiger, RDN, is a functional dietician and women’s health specialist at Simply Nourished. Clare Goodwin is a registered nutritionist and founder of Ovie.io, an online clinic for PCOS support. Ana Cristina Lewis, RD, is a dietician and owner of Functional Nutrition By Ana.

      What’s the connection between PCOS and diet?

      There’s a lot to unpack, but PCOS is a multifaceted condition that generally affects various body processes, such as insulin resistance, inflammation and obesity. Having a healthy and balanced diet can improve insulin levels, reduce insulin resistance and inflammation, and help you manage weight, along with less-talked-about symptoms including fatigue, intense hunger and cravings, mood imbalances and poor gut health, says Clare Goodwin.

      Between fifty and ninety percent of women with PCOS are insulin resistant, per a study in Clinical Medicine—which means that the cells in the body struggle to absorb sugar from the blood. This causes blood sugar levels to spike, triggering the pancreas to produce more insulin in an attempt to help cells respond—but when the pancreas can’t keep up, blood sugar levels can reach diabetic levels, per Cleveland Clinic. Obesity exacerbates insulin resistance, creating a vicious cycle. So, making dietary changes may help improve things over time.

      Best Foods To Eat For PCOS

      If your doctor diagnoses you with PCOS, consider prioritising foods rich in protein, fibre and healthy fats, says Ana Cristina Lewis. “When meals have sufficient protein, fibre, healthy fat and nutrient-dense carbohydrates, it will promote satiety, support balanced energy levels throughout the day, and help avoid huge peaks and pits of blood sugar (which then helps insulin, too),” says Lewis. “By choosing whole food, high-quality versions of these foods, it will be anti-inflammatory in nature versus choosing processed, packaged versions.”

      It may also be helpful to go for foods that help regulate blood sugar and have anti-inflammatory properties, Schleiger says, such as:

      Leafy greens: Picks like spinach, kale, Swiss chard and arugula contain antioxidants and have anti-inflammatory components that may reduce chronic inflammation.

      Fruits: Blueberries, strawberries, raspberries and blackberries are all low-glycemic foods that support balanced blood sugar. Avocado is a great option, too.

      Fatty fish: Foods like wild salmon, mackerel, sardines and trout contain a high-quality protein. This is necessary for muscle repair and metabolic function, Schleiger says.

      Whole grains: High in fibre, options like quinoa, brown rice, oats and barley aid in blood sugar control. And may improve insulin sensitivity, per Schleiger.

      Legumes: Options like lentils, chickpeas, black beans and kidney beans are high in fibre and protein. It can help stabilise blood sugar levels and improve satiety, which ultimately helps weight management.

      Nut and seeds: Almonds, walnuts, flaxseeds and chia seeds contain protein and fibre, which support satiety and blood sugar regulation, Schleiger says.

      Vegetables: Cruciferous vegetables contain compounds that help reduce inflammation. That’s why broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts and cabbage are helpful options to add to your diet.

      Probiotic-rich foods: Yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut and kimchi can help improve your digestion and nutrient absorption, says Schleiger.

      Foods To Avoid/Limit When You Have PCOS

      Avoiding or limiting certain foods can prevent the worsening of symptoms, inflammation and insulin resistance, says Schleiger. This doesn’t mean tossing everything in your pantry, but it can help to be more cautious about consuming these foods:

      Sugary foods and beverages: sweets, candy, pastries, sugary cereals, soda and fruit juices with added sugar

      Refined carbohydrates: white bread, white rice, pasta and baked goods made with white flour

      Heavily processed foods: fast foods, processed snacks, processed meats, frozen dinners and anything with a lengthy ingredient list

      Alcohol: beer, wine and spirits

      Artificial sweeteners: aspartame, sucralose and saccharin

      7-Day PCOS Diet Plan

      Monday

      Breakfast: full-fat Greek yoghurt (prioritise grass-fed, organic options) with fresh berries. Plus, a variety of seeds (chia seeds, hemp hearts and ground flaxseeds) and a dollop of nut butter

      Lunch: quinoa salad with chickpeas, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and a lemon-tahini dressing

      Dinner: baked salmon with a side of roasted Brussels sprouts and sweet potato

      Snack: sliced apple with almond butter and grass-fed droëwors

      Tuesday

      Breakfast: smoothie made with frozen berries, half a semi-green banana (which has a lower glycemic index than ripe bananas, Schleiger says), 1 scoop of quality protein powder, liquid (like unsweetened almond milk, cashew milk, etc.), spinach or kale, frozen cauliflower rice (Bonus: chia seeds, ground flaxseed, hemp hearts, pumpkin seeds, etc.)

      Lunch: grilled chicken breast with a mixed greens salad (spinach, kale, arugula and/or romaine) topped with walnuts, avocado and balsamic vinaigrette

      Dinner: stir-fried grass-fed beef with broccoli, bell peppers, snap peas and an organic white rice-cauliflower rice 50:50 mix

      Snack: fresh berries, raw cashews and string cheese

      Wednesday

      Breakfast: organic overnight oats topped with chia seeds, unsweetened almond milk, fresh blueberries and a drizzle of honey

      Lunch: lentil soup made with carrots, celery and spinach. Serve your soup with a side of whole-grain or sourdough bread and pastured butter

      Dinner: grilled wild shrimp and a quinoa-vegetable pilaf (bell peppers, zucchini, garlic and onions)

      Snack: fresh cherries served alongside carrot sticks with hummus

      Thursday

      Breakfast: scrambled pastured eggs (with spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions and feta cheese) served with a whole-grain English muffin and a side of fresh fruit

      Lunch: turkey and avocado slices wrapped in a tortilla with lettuce, tomato and red onion (with avocado-based mayonnaise)

      Dinner: baked cod with a side of roasted purple cauliflower, steamed green beans and a baked potato

      Snack: greek yoghurt topped with homemade granola and a handful of raw nuts

      Friday

      Breakfast: chia pudding made with chia seeds and coconut milk and topped with fresh raspberries and ground flaxseeds

      Lunch: chickpea and vegetable curry with brown rice and a side of fresh mixed berries

      Dinner: grilled chicken skewers with bell peppers and onions served with a side of mixed greens salad and a side of whole grain rice

      Snack: fresh fruit salad (melon, berries and kiwi) served alongside cottage cheese

      Saturday

      Breakfast: pastured hard-boiled eggs topped with bagel seasoning and seaweed sprinkles served alongside whole-grain avocado toast topped with feta cheese and cherry tomatoes

      Lunch: canned wild tuna/salmon salad made with celery, onions, capers, cucumbers and avocado-based mayonnaise served inside a whole-grain or nut-based tortilla

      Dinner: stuffed bell peppers made from ground turkey, black beans, onions, quinoa and tomatoes

      Snack: half an avocado sprinkled with sea salt, pepper and seaweed flakes served alongside cucumber slices and turkey roll-ups

      Sunday

      Breakfast: smoothie bowl with blended spinach, banana, almond milk, topped with granola, sliced strawberries and chia seeds

      Lunch: Mediterranean salad made from mixed greens, olives, cucumber, tomatoes, red onion, chickpeas, feta cheese and sliced grilled chicken served with a lemon-olive oil dressing

      Dinner: baked eggplant parmesan (using almond flour for breading) with a side of whole-grain pasta and marinara sauce

      Snack: dark chocolate with a handful of almonds

      How To Treat And Manage PCOS

      A healthy and balanced diet is one way to manage PCOS, per a study in the journal Maedica—but making other lifestyle modifications can be helpful, too. For example, incorporating exercise throughout your day can help, Lewis says.

      “Ideally there is an enjoyable movement that provides a mix of cardio and strength training throughout the week without being too taxing on the nervous system,” she says. “Avoid working out after an overnight fast to avoid putting extra stress on the body.”

      Practising good sleep hygiene may also help with PCOS management, and you should try to aim for seven to nine hours of quality sleep per night if you can, Schleiger recommends.

      “Poor sleep can affect insulin sensitivity, increase stress hormones and disrupt overall hormonal balance as our bodies heavily rely on healthy circadian rhythms,” she says.

      In addition to a nourishing diet, exercise and getting plenty of sleep, try reducing your stress levels. Chronic stress can worsen PCOS symptoms and throw your hormones off balance, according to Schleiger. You can do this by journaling, deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or whatever helps quell your nervous system. While there’s no one end-all solution for PCOS, taking a holistic wellness approach can help you reduce inflammation, prevent insulin resistance and manage conditions associated with PCOS better.

      This article written by Kayla Hui first appeared on Women’s Health US. More

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      Actress Connie Ferguson On Ageing Beautifully And Honing Her Confidence

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      Two-time Women’s Health SA cover star and iconic actress Connie Ferguson is a woman of many talents. The fitness enthusiast recently launched her rebranded and extended beauty and body care range. And this is no ordinary range, she says. “I’d like whoever uses this range to feel special, spoilt, pampered and confident, like the girls they think they are and the boys they think they are,” she muses in between chuckles, before adding that the extended range was inspired by her own journey with resilience and can-do attitude. Owing to these two traits, today, she can assertively say that they have contributed towards helping her build her confidence.

      The extension of the beauty and body care range was always on the cards when she first launched in 2014, adds Connie. “We didn’t anticipate taking this long before introducing new products to the range. On the positive side this gave us more time for a thorough research and development process and the opportunity to work on more offerings from CONNIE Brands,” she explains.

      READ MORE: The July/August 2024 Issue Stories That Are Inspiring Our Editors Right Now

      Favourite way to start my day

      With praise and worship, prayer and then exercise. As soon as these three things are done, my day is set up and I’m ready to start.

      A skincare routine that works best for me

      I’ve learnt that layering products is very important as you get older. When you’re younger the focus is cleansing, toning, moisturising and using a good sunscreen. When you’re older, however, it’s important to add anti-ageing serums, turn the focus to additional hydration as well as taking good multivitamins and collagen supplements to gain a holistic approach to your health and beauty regimen.

      The best secret to ageing beautifully

      Happiness. I find peace of mind and finding joy in the smallest of things just helps regulate you as a person, and this adds to beauty from the inside out.

      READ MORE: Connie Ferguson’s Favourite Strength Training Workouts

      Best guilty pleasure

      At home it has to be my pamper days. I take my time! The Connie Eye Slices and mask have become such a treat for me! Gives me that “soft life” kind of feeling! And once a month I will have a spa day with girls where we’ll get pampered even more. Taking care of yourself is not a luxury, it a necessity.

      Best way to tap into my inner strength

      Meditate on prayer and spend quality time with God.

      Three wellness rules that I’m unapologetic about

      Get enough sleep, drink lots of water, make time for physical activity and don’t be shy to indulge in your Connie Products. That’s four!

      READ MORE: How To Tailor Your Skincare For Hormones, Per Experts

      Best way to nourish my body

      Include Collagen in your daily beauty rituals, and our Elixir Treatment oil is literary the best thing since sliced bread! You feel the effects immediately and see a significant difference in your skin texture and tone within 14 days.

      Favourite way to wrap up my day

      Catch up with the kids, my night time skincare routine before bed, catch up on a bit of tv, pray and call it a night. More

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      Advice For Your 20s And 30s: What They Don’t Tell You About Ageing

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      It’s rare to find an older woman who doesn’t wish they could give their younger self some advice. With age comes adaptation, lessons and a good dose of resilience. So why not tap into those who have lived it – consider this a page from a thick-ass adulting textbook. We asked three women, all with varying qualifications and experiences on the joys of ageing. Below, some lessons for women in their 20s and 30s as they look to the future. One thing’s for sure: so many things get better with age!

      READ MORE: Actress Temi Otedola On Why She Prefers A Simple Wellness Routine

      Advice #1: Let Go Of Self-imposed Limitations

      The forties for Palesa Boka have been about fully owning and embracing who she is, sans any societal limitations. In the process, she’s decided to show up the best way she knows how. As many of us already know, growing older is always a daunting thought or that arduous but necessary task we avoid, until you actually turn the page! AGE: 44

      I turned 40 in 2019 and oh boy what an unpredictable ride it has been! No one warned me about the self-assuredness that comes with this age! The constant taking stock of all facets of my life, and the self-growth that comes as a result, are just some of the things I wouldn’t trade in for anything. Then there’s the ‘I chooseme’ that comes with this age! I’m learning to prioritise myself and my needs despite the urgency of others’requests. I’d like to believe that I’m a late bloomer. A lot of changes started taking place later in my life. Our 40s aren’t about trying to fit in, I’ve learned. It’s as though our bodies and souls fight back any forced effort placed on them to conform, be likeable or to tone down.

      “I can confidently say that I have finally met my truest self at this age. I’m letting go of self-imposed limitations and embracing the fact that I’m right where I need to be – well, on most days.”

      It’s also the best time for me spiritually, physically, emotionally and sexually. I’m more confident in my skin. I honestly couldn’t give two hoots about what anyone thinks of me [chuckles]. My body? This is all I have to work with, so let’s! Mentally? I can only do better and that’s that! Financially? Well, this remains a tricky area but one that I’m working hard at. The sins of my 20s money mistakes are catching up with me. For instance, if I’d bought a house in my 20s, it’d be paid up by now. But all’s not lost!

      PALESA’S BEST ADVICE

      You don’t suddenly wake up one day to find the guilt, shame and past mistakes magically gone, but your mind evolves to see them differently. In a way, this approach is gentler and more solution-driven than self-pity.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit In Your 20s – This Is Your Healthy Routine

      Advice #2: Live For Yourself

      Thami Magele, founder of Leungo Education Learning Circles, a company aimed at preparing future-fit children for their active participation in building a better Africa, is passionate about curating a life that overflows with purpose, love and rich experiences.AGE: 49

      As I edge closer to 50, I find myself sympathising with my own mother more and more. She married her parents, siblings, her husband and her children before marrying herself. As a result, her self-worth was left in their hands, and nothing for herself. My mother’s worst mistakes came from the depth of her love for her children, as well as wanting to honour her parents. Her lowest point was her inability to reconcile her mistakes as courage – she could only recognise them as shameful because her decisions didn’t attract the applause of those people whose opinions she valued the most.

      Now more than ever, I’m sympathetic to how we, parents, can hold onto and do things for the sake of our children – to a point where we are broken and left functionally handicapped. Just because a plan failed, doesn’t mean that you have failed as a parent. Children need their parents whole.

      With that bit of reflection out of the way, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciate the grace I receive daily. I’m not self-made and my life is not in my hands. I do my absolute best daily to indulge in some of my favouritethings. Those include watching the sky at night while sleeping alfresco in nature, swapping playlists with my daughter each morning, solo morning walks in nature and spreading love however and wherever I please.The thought of being in love no longer scares me because I now measure love, first and foremost, by how much of it I give to myself, how I choose the company I keep, the spaces I visit, the activities I spend my time doing and the people I choose to share my life and love with. In fact, my worst fear is not doing what I love. My joy and peace are currently my greatest currencies!

      “Whatever fears used to plague and contain me are gone. My life is richer right now! I no longer fear losing assets. “

      THAMI’S BEST ADVICE

      Identify and invest in the things, spaces and people that always bring you peace, joy and fulfilment – instead of those that leave you feeling depleted or questioning yourself. Remember that the societaldefinition of success is informed by an inferiority complex, maintained by power and control and continually instills a feeling of inadequacy. The sooner you ditch the societal definition, the better. Lastly, spend the bulk of your time creating pleasing memories and experiences for yourself and those less fortunate.

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 30 – And Important Healthy Habits

      Advice #3: Do Things Without Needing To Excel

      After a long spanning career as an education consultant, Vanessa Francis took her expertise to Room To Read, an NGO dedicated to improving children’s literacy and girls’ education across Asia and Africa – a job she describes as purposeful.AGE: 65

      In 2019, just a few days shy of my 60th birthday, our house burnt to the ground. Days went by and I waited for the shock and sadness at how much we’d lost to kick in, but it just never came. We lost some sentimental items such as family photos, but I was most grateful that no life had been lost.

      Naturally, friends and family thought I’d postpone the 60th birthday celebration that was scheduled in Ballito, KZN, a week after the fire, to another time. I think everyone became more surprised when I announced that the celebration would go ahead as planned. This incident confirmed two things for me: that relationships are important. The photos may be gone but I still have many more chances to create and capture happy memories with my loved ones. I also realised just how much resilience I’ve built over the years. We were now careful and minimalistic about what we were accumulating. I mean, I now have a woman cave as a result of this rebuilding and renovation exercise!

      “When we’re younger, we get upset over the smallest things but as we get older, we allow painful experiences to glide past without getting stuck in that sad moment. Ours was a real cleansing by the fire and an opportunity to do things anew.”

      READ MORE: How To Get Fit At 40 – And Thriving Healthy Tips

      Also, 65 is when I should be slowing down and preparing for retirement. Yet I feel more energised, grounded, centred and eager to learn (which is key for me). I’m also more amped to leave behind a legacy rooted in meaning and purpose through my work as country director for Room To Read. Years ago, I signed up for a drawing class. Now,I take pottery lessons – and I’m so bad at it [chuckles]. The point here is to learn to go with the flow and not listen to my ego’s need for perfection. My perfectionism serves me well at work but in pottery, I get to learn to do things for pure enjoyment without needing to excel.

      VANESSA’S BEST ADVICE

      Whatever’s happening now is for now. Basically, this too shall pass. Your task is to balance yourself and create space for the storm to pass through with ease. More

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      Your Most Urgent ‘Down There’ Questions Answered By Experts

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      Tada! We asked the experts to tend to your most pressing sexual health questions so you can’t stop shooting in the dark or wondering if there’s something wrong with you. Given the sensitivity of the vaginal region and the important role it plays in reproduction, we really cannot afford to take any chances when it comes to anything sexual health. From STI symptoms, how often to use pantyliners, pre- and post-period diarrhoea to HPV screening and period syncing, find your answers below so you can finally be at ease or know if it’s time to take the next step.

      READ MORE: What’s The Difference Between STDs And STIs?

      Should I be using a pantyliner daily or not?

      “Similarly to how the eye cleanses itself by producing tears, the vagina also produces discharge for the same reason,” says Dr Esther Rockson, a specialist obstetrician, gynaecologist and aesthetic gynaecologist. Naturally, she adds, some women produce excess discharge – a condition known as leukorrhea. Those women may prefer to use pantyliners daily. But hold up! “Always choose a breathable, unscented, cotton-based pantyliner.”

      Word of caution: change your pantyliner at least thrice daily to prevent cross-infection between the anus and the vagina. “These two areas share a short distance, so there’s a risk of getting UTIs from E. coli, a bacteria found in our poo.” Remember to always wipe from the front to back! Not much discharge? There’s no need to wear a pantyliner, advises Dr Rockson.

      Why do I get diarrhoea before and after my period?

      Relax, it’s all down to the hormonal changes in our bodies during this time. Progesterone, a sex hormone released by ovaries after ovulation usually decreases just before your period starts. These low levels speed up bowels, giving way to changes in your digestive system i.e. loose stools, sometimes passed frequently, agree experts. Then there are prostaglandins, hormone-like compounds that are released during your period. They are responsible for period cramping and also cause the gut muscles to contract intensely, thereby resulting in diarrhoea.

      READ MORE: The 9 Best Natural Lubes For A Happy Vagina

      What should I use to wash my va-jay-jay?

      “The inside of a vagina isn’t meant to be washed with products, so water and just your finger will do. For the vulva (the outer part), plain water will also do, but you may also use a mild, non-acidic soap that doesn’t irritate the skin,” says Dr Rockson.

      How often should I go for a pap smear?

      Cape Town-based obs-gyn registrar Dr Rendani Maboko says SA’s current guidelines recommend that Pap smears be done from the age of 21. A Pap smear is recommended every five years and every three years in HIV-positive women. “We are currently pushing to screen yearly on HIV-positive patients,” she says. For the general population, adds Dr Maboko, women who are sexually active should start HPV screening at age 30. “We recommend 30 because HPV has a high prevalence and can be quite transient in nature, especially in younger women,” she explains.

      READ MORE: There Are Actually Some Pretty Big Misconceptions About Egg Freezing In South Africa

      Is period syncing a real thing?

      You’ve just been camping with your girls and now your period’s early. Period syncing stems from the idea that the menstrual cycles of women who spend a lot of time together usually end up aligning. “However, to date, no scientific study has been able to prove that period syncing is actually a real phenomenon,” says Dr Maboko.

      What are the telltale signs of an STI?

      Discomfort as well as a change in the colour and smell of your discharge are some of the earliest signs. “A grey-coloured or yellowy, frothy discharge that smells fishy. Or you could develop ulcers or a rash around the area which could be a sign of herpes. The later signs will be genital warts and the likes,” says Dr Rockson. More

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      What’s Sceletium And What Does It Do?

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      The buzzy plant has cropped up in supplements, drinks and as tinctures. Here’s what we know about the herbal medicine and plant sceletium.

      What is sceletium?

      Sceletium tortuosum is an ancient plant. It’s also called kanna or kougod and has been used for ages by the Khoisan people of South Africa. Carl von Linnaeus, a Swedish biologist, described and classified the plant in 1753.

      Traditionally, the medicinal herb has been used by the Khoisan people for various ailments. Sceletium was chewed or smoked and used to relieve toothache, abdominal pain, and as a mood-elevator. It was also used as an analgesic (pain relief), hypnotic, anxiolytic (anxiety relief), thirst and hunger suppressant, and for its intoxicating/euphoric effects.

      Now, it’s commonly used as an anti-depressant or to reduce anxiety. Added to that, some people are using it as an alternative to party drugs. Scientists are uncovering its properties as a cognitive enhancer.

      What does it do?

      The plant has positive effects on the central nervous system. It has potential as a SRI (serotonin reuptake inhibitor) or antidepressant. However, more clinical studies are still needed to explore its full potential. Redditers also describe using it to ‘feel right’. So far, this is what small studies have shown:

      Anxiety and depression

      Small studies reveal that sceletium may be useful in reducing anxiety, depression and stress response. But these studies were small. Simply put, we need more larger-scale studies.

      Sleep

      In a small randomised, double-blind, placebo-controlled, crossover study in healthy subjects, people taking the herb daily for nine weeks said they slept better.

      Is sceletium safe?

      Very little data exists to point to how sceletium would interact with other medications in the body. It’s best to chat to your doc before taking it, especially if you’re already taking an antidepressant.

      Where to get sceletium

      For now, if you want to enjoy its reported effects (calm and restful sleep), you can have sceletium in capsule, drink or tincture form.

      Euphorika Sceletium Tortuosum Extract

      This tincture lets you control the dosage, especially if you like to microdose.

      Sereen Sceletium Capsules

      These capsules contain 200mg of sceletium and may improve focus and cognitive function.

      Tea of Life Honeybush Sceletium

      Enjoy the calming effects of this kombucha blend. Plus, probiotics could improve mood over time.

      Keen to read more?

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