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    The Thing About Self-Care Is…

    Self-care – most crave it; most want its much-discussed benefits yet in between the demands of everyday life, we find ourselves often striking it off our to-do lists.

    As aptly put by Betterup.com, “…self-care practices are intentional steps to take care of yourself. Self-care practices put deposits into your wellness ‘bank account’. Consistent deposits give you more internal resources to draw upon during stressful times.”

    Countless research has been published on how practising regular self-care leaves us energetic and emotionally sound, with some room to extend a helping hand to others. As the New Age hashtag goes, #SelfishIsTheNewSelfLove. Being busy should not stand in the way of you indulging in one or two self-care routines daily. Remember: There aren’t enough hours in a day as it is, and you may never have free “me-time” waiting for you to claim it.

    Below, three women share heartwarming anecdotes of how they learnt (the hard way) that pouring from an empty cup wasn’t sustainable — and that if anything, it leads to physical and mental exhaustion. 

    READ MORE: 21 Best Self-Care Gifts For Her That Go Way Beyond Face Masks

    Lally Dladla

    “It took a hysterectomy for me to realise that I was kind, giving and generous to everyone but myself!”

    In 2020 I started having dizzy spells, heavy monthly periods and recurring nosebleeds but paid them no heed. Over and above the pandemic-induced anxiety, I didn’t need the additional stress of a body desperately crying out for attention. A visit to my gynae in 2021 revealed that I had a rare condition that required an urgent hysterectomy. Postponing indefinitely would lead to my health being compromised. One thing anyone who knows me will vouch for is that I live for my sons, my miracle babies.

    Leading up to the op, I’d quell my anxiety by reminding myself that postponing wouldn’t only cut my life short, but also rob my sons of the opportunity to grow old with me. So, I forged ahead – fear in tow. Exhausted and drowning in my thoughts one morning post-op, it suddenly dawned on me that I either didn’t love myself or had no idea what self-love looked like. In hindsight, being diagnosed with anaemia, low blood pressure, the hysterectomy and getting Covid – all in one year – were a wake-up call. I started wondering what treating myself kindly, healthwise, would look like.

    A good place to start, I decided, would be to implement the lifestyle changes I’d been long meaning to make. I now follow a vegetarian diet, I’ve parted ways with booze and take long walks in the morning – I can’t run yet due to the hysterectomy. These changes, though small, have done wonders for my energy levels. I consider them a secret pact between my body and soul. Now six months into my Put-Lally-First journey, self-love is constantly reminding the nurturer in me to take a chill pill because I’m prioritising myself.

    READ MORE: What Is Cozy Cardio On TikTok? Trainers Weigh In On The Comfy Workout Trend

    Matata Diamonde

    “Scheduling play time has been really big for me; it makes me feel like I’m prioritising myself.”

    I come from a family that has always been big on self-development. My mother, a Fourth Way healer (a behavioural and spiritual type of well-being practice) introduced me to alternative forms of healing quite early on. Growing up in India, I did a lot of meditation and started transactional analysis at a young age. I vividly remember being ill as a child and starting to practice Reiki (an energy-correcting practice that promotes relaxation and reduces stress and anxiety through gentle touch) because meds were just not helping my condition.

    I also struggled a bit as a child so, I was in therapy by age 14. It was around this same age that I started attracting friends who needed the kind of support that was way beyond what my teenage brain could offer. And I stuck around because I’d made their well-being my responsibility. I’d assigned myself, though totally unintentionally, the role of “rescuer” in my relationships.

    As a result, being taken advantage of became a recurring theme in my life as I got older, one that started popping up in work, romantic and familial relationships. After my father’s passing, I spent a big part of my inheritance in a romantic relationship where I was treated really badly. I still feel a lot of shame for being in the situation, but this incident was the big wake-up call that made me closely examine my “rescuer” default. I’d started noticing that I had a lot of pent-up anger, resentment and that I almost didn’t wish people well in those situations where I felt taken advantage of. These new traits were totally out of character for me.

    Time and lots of reflection have taught me that I kept attracting situations where I felt “used and depleted” because, at my core, I wanted to be needed, validated and not feel abandoned. With a few adjustments to my beliefs, I’m slowly realising that I’m resourceful enough to meet these needs myself. For instance, my morning routine is sacred. I now give myself an hour of consistent quiet time. When I don’t, I find that everything gets heightened – I become cranky, my workload feels unmanageable and my interactions with people aren’t as fulfilling. At some point, I tried out pole dancing and signed up with a vocal coach. Seeking out new ways to better understand myself has been revolutionary on my self-care journey.

    READ MORE: Struggle Sleeping? Here’s How To Create A Bedtime Routine, Per Experts

    Marjorie Arnold

    “During the worst phase of my adult life, veganism served as my life raft. It made me realise that I was worthy of life despite a niggly voice whispering, ‘Your body failed you from a very young age.’” 

    I was raised by a single mother, in a small town. My mother was a teacher and our home a hive of activity. We always had learners come in and out of our house for all sorts of help. And I quickly internalised that being in service to others determined one’s worth. My, was I wrong! It was only later that I discovered that self-love was not a frivolous marketing concept aimed at persuading consumers to keep buying more stuff. When my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 breast and lymph cancer in 2010, she came to stay with me at the height of my freelance career in publishing, advertising and reality TV. I had just resigned from a toxic permanent job in magazines.

    In between full-time caregiving, I worked Monday right through to Sunday. It never occurred to me that my own well-being mattered, despite my slew of past and present chronic health issues. I had Perthes Disease as a child and was wheelchair-bound; I was always undergoing one op or another. I’ve had a limp, chronic body pain and anxiety disorder all my life. When my mother survived chemo and her cancer, I thought I’d have a moment to catch my breath. I’d been operating in survival mode for so long that trying to return to the groove of just living was impossible. However, losing myself in caregiving and my freelance gigs turned out to be my lifeline. Had I not, I wouldn’t have noticed the urgency of the lifestyle changes I owed myself. Going vegan was what ultimately flung open the doors of self-worth for me.

    As a nurturer and giver, traits I inherited from my mother, redirecting my compassion to learning about cruelty to animals and really caring for the environment made me feel good. My journey to better self-care (and it has been loooong!) has taught me that, sometimes, prioritising myself will come in the form of taking a step back – even if it means regressing. I’m grateful for the many bold steps that I took along the way because I’m currently in a career that aligns perfectly with my values and personality. I’ve also learnt that I can’t help others before helping myself (basic, I know!) During this journey, I also allowed myself to cry more, something I have come to understand is an essential part of healing.

    READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    Easy Daily Self-Care Practises To Adopt

    Practise guided meditation

    Do some breathwork throughout the day

    Dress up (please do, even with nowhere to go)

    Incorporate one fun activity on your to-do list

    Declutter your space (even if it’s just one room per day)

    Read a book

    Eat a balanced diet

    Give yourself a break in between meetings (where you don’t feel guilty about doing absolutely nothing. Stare into space if you must!)

    Keep a gratitude journal

    Take a walk

    Listen to music that uplifts you

    Exercise regularly

    Take a social media break

    Plan a holiday (even though you can’t afford one at the moment)

    Do at least one thing that contributes to a bigger goal

    Treat yourself to an at-home spa day

    Work from a new spot or coffee shop

    Do a random act of kindness

    Switch off your phone an hour or two before bedtime

    Sleep earlier More

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    How Dyslexia Led Me To A Thriving Career In Art

    Lerato Motau’s art career is testament to the fact that life is never to be measured by what we lack or can’t do. This also happens to be a lesson that she has instilled in her two daughters – one of whom is dyslexic just like her. Things started unfolding when Lerato Motau; an artist who employs paint and embroidery in her work; was in Grade 8. Aged 16, she had just failed Grade 8 for the third time when her mother was called in by the school to inform her that: “Something is wrong with your daughter.” 

    READ MORE: Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

    The school insisted that she consult an educational psychologist. The year was 1990 and such services were few and far in between.

    “My mother took me to Baragwanath Hospital (now Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital) where luckily, they’d soon be having an educational psychologist from the UK consulting for them. “Following a range of tests, the educational psychologist diagnosed me with dyslexia and explained that a remedial school wouldn’t work for my condition,” she recalls.

    Dyslexic as a teen, Lerato’s self-esteem took quite a knock while her anxiety peaked. Confused, she kept asking herself: “How will I navigate the world? What would my peers think of me? How am I going to explain myself?”

    But as the saying goes, nothing beats accepting a situation for what it is. 

    Enter Art

    Lerato’s mom enrolled her at the Johannesburg Art Foundation in Saxonworld, Johannesburg. Here, Lerato realised that while she couldn’t express herself using the written word, she did far better in oral exams and when creating things with her hands. “Art school taught me to speak up and boosted my confidence because I clearly had a talent and could finally do something right. The lecturers were really attentive to students’ needs which made me feel comfortable in class.

    “Making art made me feel talented. I majored in painting. I graduated with a Fine Arts and Teaching Diploma Enrolled in 1994 and later enrolled for a Craft Enterprise qualification at the Craft Council where we were taught how to run our art like a business. In 2005, I did another short course in basic embroidery. In the same year, I attended a handmade felt making workshop which included crocheting and knitting,” she explains.

    In fact, it was during this very workshop where she remembered just how much she loved needlework in primary school and years later, it was beneficial. “In that moment, I remembered that nothing ever happens by chance,” she muses. 

    READ MORE: These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

    Stitching Stories Together

    Lerato started making art in 1996 after being introduced to an art collector by a friend and mentor. With all the skills she had learned, Lerato experimented with textile art, choosing to fuse painting with embroidery. “Every stitch goes through a journey and every artwork tells a unique story,” she says. Lerato has since had two solo exhibitions since the start of her career in 2010 and 2022 respectively. She’s also been commissioned by many corporates to create her unique pieces for display at their offices – among them SAB, Nandos London, ABSA, FNB, Pikitup, BRT Maraisburg bus station, Exxara (previously Eyesizwe), FNB, The Leonardo in Sandton, DBSA (Botswana) and the North West University satellite campus located in the Vaal.

    She also teaches kids basic embroidery and art with the aim that they will grow up knowing that academia is not the only path to success. Her work has also been showcased at international exhibitions – her most recent being at the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, where her gallery Art in the Yard went on her behalf. 

    Overcoming Dyslexia

    “When my first daughter was born, I couldn’t spell nor write her name. When I was younger, my mom would write basic information for me in a diary. Dyslexia affects the most basic things, things that many take for granted,” explains Lerato, adding that she can’t read English, Setswana and Afrikaans but she’s sharp with numbers.

    Lerato still keeps a diary where she writes the basic info that she needs daily – and that makes life easier. For instance, when she has to fill out a form, she’ll write down all the info in her diary and then copy everything across. For work, she makes notes with every piece that she creates and has a friend who writes all her proposals. “When I knew that I’d overcome dyslexia was when she taught her daughters how to read using the sounding out method. When my eldest daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia at the age of four, I had long spotted the signs and was determined to help her overcome it early,” she enthuses.

    Her eldest daughter is currently in her second year at university. And unlike in her own case where dyslexia affected her self-esteem, Lerato always urges her daughter to explain dyslexia to those who don’t understand and share her story to inspire others. “I always encourage parents to take teachers’ feedback seriously –  thinking that your child is being victimised may be a waste of the child’s life/time. There are so many resources and professionals who are well equipped to help children co-exist well with dyslexia.”

    READ MORE: Here’s Why Burnout Among Women Is A Bigger Issue Than You’d Think

    Lessons Learnt

    Where dyslexia is concerned, there are still a lot of myths that need to be demystified. “There are many successful and famous people, such as Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Branson and Tom Cruise amongst others, who have overcome dyslexia. When I tell my story to people who don’t know me, they immediately assume that I’m disabled then turn around and ask how dyslexia works because I seem complete,” she says, adding that she’s learnt to not judge people based on their looks.

    Second to that, Lerato always remembers how far she’s come and has committed to laughing and smiling regularly.

    “I once saw a meme that said, ‘when we laugh, our bodies don’t recognise that there’s nothing funny happening’.” Lastly, she credits her healthy state of mind to therapy. “If it weren’t for therapy, I’d still be angry at the teachers and everyone else who used to make fun of me.” 

    Below is some of the art Lerato created from scratch for the Affordable Art Fair in the UK, which opened on 18 October 2023.

    To buy her art or to organise a private viewing, contact Lerato on Facebook (Lerato Motau) and Instagram (LeratoMotauStudios).  More

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    Radio Personality Gugu Mfuphi On The Lessons Learnt During Her Kilimanjaro Summit — And More

    Gugu Mfuphi, a financial journalist and host of the award-winning weekday evening show Kaya Biz on Kaya Fm, recently summited Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, with an all-female group, as part of the #Trek4Mandela and The Imbumba Foundation’s Caring4Girls initiative. The two organisations have partnered to raise funds that go towards addressing the period poverty still experienced by many girls in South Africa and the world over.

    Through #Trek4Mandela, adolescent girls are provided with sanitary towels, puberty education and menstrual hygiene support. Speaking on taking this leap of faith, Gugu says she had to constantly bargain with her fear of not making it back alive by remembering that this was all for a good cause.

    READ MORE: Do This Cardio Workout At Home To Burn Cals And Boost Your Mood

    The Kilimanjaro experience, she says, helped her with many lessons that she will be applying to her career and life in general.

    “So far, a large influence has been my career within financial journalism. The realm that I choose to operate in is within business finance and economics, but it also spreads across the breadth of women empowerment, how youth can get involved, technology and other ancillary sectors. I’d say, crafting a niche for myself, being deliberate about it, my skills competence, constant curiosity and great networks have stood me in good stead,” she reflects.

    A self-confessed fitness enthusiast, one whole swears by high-intensity workouts, Gugu says the organisers encouraged them to maintain a healthy lifestyle ahead of the trip. “Once you’re on the mountain, something as simple as a cold could turn into something more dire. I took lots of ginger shots, primarily to boost my immune system,” says Gugu, who’s always loved hiking and the outdoors.

    Below she shares some of the highlights of the trip, lessons learnt and how she survived it all.

    One Thing I Didn’t Do More Of…

    “…was upper strength training. From a fitness point of view, a lot of us actually admitted that we didn’t focus much on our core, shoulders and back. As a result, we sure felt the pressure of carrying the additional weight of our backpacks for that extended period. Typically when you train on the stairs, you’re there for a few hours with perhaps 8kg weights on your back. On the mountain, however, you’re walking for up to eight hours daily while carrying your luggage throughout. Hard lesson learnt here!”

    Respect The Basics

    “Listen, I’d never appreciated Vaseline as much as I did during the hike. I probably took three tubs of Vaseline with me [chuckles]. Around dusk and on summit night (specifically) there was an icy cold breeze that left a burning sensation on the skin feeling — especially on the the lips and nose. I used it on my hands and face at some point because your ordinary moisturiser just wasn’t cutting it. 

    Sunscreen came in handy on the days when the sun was scorching hot, ginger sweets helped ease the altitude-induced nausea. And how can I forget wet wipes? The dusty and windy conditions meant that we constantly had to wipe ourselves down. Wipes also came in handy during pee breaks in the bush, as well as wiping hands. There’s just no looking cute up there, something I had to quickly accept because I’m a such girly girl [chuckles].”

    Showing Up For Self

    The hike through the rain forest went well, followed by our move from Mandara Camp to Horongo Camp – a 13km distance that took us about eight to 9 hours. This was when altitude sickness started kicking in – we were moving 2100m above sea level to just above 3000m. In as much as we’d taken diamox to aid with the altitude sickness, I still got terribly sick. It started off with a headache. One of the guides said he’d noticed that I’d been a lot quieter than usual. I’d been drinking lots of water, taking ginger sweets and fighting the strong urge to throw up.

    Right after the guide had questioned my silence, I started throwing up and continued for the rest of the afternoon until we arrived at the next camp. I tried eating soup with a bit of rice in it, and it all came back at the lunch table. I basically threw up until my stomach was empty. The nausea pill that the doctor gave me also came back up. At this point, the doctor was worried about my sugar levels. I proceed to hike in my weak state, with the guides and the doctor monitoring me closely. The team was really amazing – they wiped my mouth each time I threw up, carried my bag and handed me my walking stick while urging me to forge ahead slowly.

    READ MORE: A Quick Resistance Band Arm Workout You Can Do At Home

    Meal time was always best

    “The guides and porters really made a great effort of serving us cooked meals, which were surprisingly good. I must admit that I’d gone there with no expectations of having decent food but was always pleasantly surprised at dinner time — everything from pasta dishes to stews. I made a mental note to make a concerted effort to cook more back home and have a greater appreciation for food as well as to remember that what I put in my body ultimately nourishes both my body and soul.”

    Lessons Abound

    “While weak and throwing up, I remember one of the guides saying to me: ‘Time will pass but you need to keep moving’. That’s when I realised that people can help you with everything – they can carry your bags, give you meds, wipe your mouth etc, but unless you put in the effort yourself to do what needs to be done, you’re not going to get anywhere. Even though I wasn’t at my strongest physically, what helped psychologically was one of the guides saying I needed to walk in front. That forced me to recognise that I was leading people and that we needed to get somewhere.

    Pole, pole!

    One of the phrases the guides often repeated to us by the guides was ‘pole, pole‘, meaning take your time. I was reminded that slow progress is still progress and of the power of showing up. I also wasn’t prepared to go out like that, not on the second day. Thankfully, altitude sickness eventually eased its hold on me. Summit night was particularly draining, and in hindsight, I realised that it was due to the altitude. I remember blinking and feeling like it took me forever to blink – the brain was deprived of oxygen because it had been allocated to other parts of the body, mostly the lungs and the legs because they were doing the bulk of the work.

    The oxygen deprivation is what makes people delirious or have a minimised function of the brain. I remember telling one of the guides that I was fine and not out of breath, but just tired. At that point in the hike, the guides spoke to us a lot to ensure that our brains were still functional. Some people start hallucinating or develop pulmonary oedema (water in the lungs) due to oxygen deprivation. I kept thinking: ‘I need to get to the peak of Kilimanjaro’ but had completely forgotten about the descent [chuckles]. No matter how difficult it gets up there, mentally you need to want it for yourself. And the same lesson can be applied to life in general!”

    READ MORE: How One Woman Lost Half Her Bodyweight – And Kept It Off

    Nurturing My Body

    Back at home, Gugu admits to being the type of girl who can easily choose dessert over a meal. In her world, she shares, a slice of cake and a cup of tea make the world a better place. “Perhaps it’s some type of psychological security because that’s how my grandmother, mom, aunts and I used to connect on weekends,” she shares.

    To snack, she loves nuts, which work well as a hiking snack. “Pineapple, grapes and blueberries also top my list of favourite fruit on any day,” she says. Upon returning from Kili, Gugu took some time off before getting back into her wellness routine.

    “I generally work out three to four times a week and swear by high intensity workouts — I’m a burpee, jump squat with a dumbbell kind of girl. And I still do a lot of cardio and endurance training which is what we had to do in preparation for Kilimanjaro,” she says. More

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    Struggle Sleeping? Here’s How To Create A Bedtime Routine, Per Experts

    As the importance of sleep becomes more and more paramount for daytime productivity and general functioning, so too is creating a bedtime routine rising to prominence. In South Africa, our sleep is less than optimal. Per a Sleep Cycle survey, only 27% of South Africans are getting the recommended eight hours of sleep per night. And a lack of sleep can have real implications for your health, expanding your BMI and resulting in increased risk of hypertension, diabetes, obesity, depression, heart attack, and stroke, per one study. Not only that, but sleep impacts your mental health, too.

    We chatted to a few experts to get the info on how to really get that all-important R ‘n R every night. One study reveals that a bedtime routine not only helps you get to bed better but can also improve the quality of your sleep over time.

    Meet the experts: Rudo Kemp is the founder of Sloom, creators of mattresses. Marley Rose Harris is an International Business & Mindset Coach.

    Get the right mattress – for you

    “The physical aspects of a mattress are pivotal in ensuring consistent, high-quality sleep, which in turn has profound effects on mental well-being,” says Kemp. Every individual’s body is unique, and what feels comfortable and supportive will vary. For some, a hard mattress might mean an uncomfortable night’s sleep. While for others, a mattress that’s too soft won’t give adequate spinal support. Make sure that your mattress is optimal for your health and needs and a suitable bedtime routine will be that much easier to attain.

    READ MORE: Is Your Mattress Actually Good For You? Here’s How To Tell, According To The Experts 

    Try manifestation

    “Your subconscious mind is most malleable in the evening right before bed and in the morning. This is the best time to rewire your belief system,” says Harris. “Before bed, recall five things you are grateful for throughout the day, which can be little or big things.” The purpose? It works to attune your mind to look to things to be grateful for. “Right when your eyes open in the morning, affirm anything you are focusing on manifesting,” says Harris. “Your subconscious mind is simply spectacular and sleep is the key to opening the door!”

    READ MORE: The 10 Best Sleep Apps To Help You Fall Asleep Faster And Sleep Through The Night

    Try deep breathing

    To calm a busy mind and get in the headspace for restful sleep, Harris stresses the importance of deep breathing. These can calm your mind, reduce stress, and improve sleep quality.

    Clear the tech

    This is one you’d have heard before, but that’s because it works. Blue light from your tech devices like cellphones can stop your brain from producing melatonin, which allows you to drift off peacefully. Try blue light blocking frames; these block harmful blue light from hitting your eyes and helps you fall asleep better before bed.

    READ MORE: “I Tried The Latest Massage That Promises To Help With Insomnia, Pain And Fatigue.”

    Declutter your space

    Design plays a big role in our sleeping environment, as a well-designed, harmonious bedroom can serve as a sanctuary, signalling to our brain that it’s time to unwind. Before bed, pack away anything that might distract you from a good night’s sleep. Got clothes lying around? Packing them away will tell your brain that all is well and you can rest easy.

    READ MORE: 5 Things To Eat At Night That’ll Help You Sleep Way, Way Better

    Wind down with yoga

    Doing yoga daily adds up to restful sleep, per this study. Yoga is incredible for myriad reasons and is as potent for sleep. By allowing you to take in deeper breaths while stretching out your body’s niggles, you can quiet your mind, ease anxiety and allow your body to properly drift off into sweet slumber. More

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    Um, A Scary 50% Of SA Women Are Iron Deficient

    It’s the end of the year and you might be feeling a bit run down — totes normal. But if your tiredness is accompanied by heart palpitations, shortness of breath and craving non-food items like baby powder or soil, it might be a sign of iron deficiency (ID). ID is the world’s leading nutrient deficiency, affecting around a whopping 2 billion people worldwide. And in South Africa, it’s estimated that 50% of women may be iron deficient. That’s a huge number and moreover, it surpasses the global average.

    “Iron deficiency occurs when iron reservoirs in the body become depleted,” explains Dr Jarrad van Zuydam, a sports medicine physician with a special interest in the medicine of cycling and other endurance sports. “The most common cause is an inadequate dietary intake of iron.  When your iron levels are low, your cells are receiving less oxygen making it harder for your body to generate energy.

    READ MORE: 11 Symptoms Of Breast Cancer In Women That Aren’t Lumps

    Who’s at Risk?

    Anyone is at risk of iron deficiency but women of reproductive age are more likely to be at risk. During menstruation, you lose blood which contains iron, which is one of the reasons you may experience symptoms of low iron during that time of the month. If you aren’t supplementing that loss by eating a diet rich in iron, you could become ID over time. Pregnancy can also cause you to become ID, this is because when you’re expecting you need almost double the normal amount the average woman needs. And once you’ve had your baby, iron levels can remain low due to blood loss during delivery.

    “In my practice, I come across iron deficiency anaemia on a daily basis. Factors such as pregnancy, delivery, miscarriages, heavy menstruation, as well as poor iron intake, are some of the most common attributable causes,” says Dr Claire Godwin, a General Practitioner at Premier Health Centre who specialises in women’s healthcare. “Often, the women I see are so used to running on fumes with young children, busy careers, or being caregivers to others that they don’t even realise how they are feeling is a symptom and not just a consequence of their day-to-day stressors. Education around ID is imperative if we want to help more women function at their best.” The bottom line? If you’re feeling exhausted, get your iron levels checked or start supplementing.

    Biogen Iron + Vitamin C

    Vitamin C helps the body absorb iron better, so this duo packs a punch.

    Ferrimed

    This gold-standard iron supplement is recommended by doctors.

    Solgar Gentle Iron

    This supplement is easy on the stomach and doesn’t cause constipation.

    READ MORE: Cycle Syncing: How (And Why!) To Tweak Your Workouts, Diet And More Around Your Menstrual Cycle

    Signs of Iron Deficiency

    Fatigue

    Unusual tiredness is one of the most common symptoms of iron deficiency affecting more than half of those who are deficient. Your body needs iron to make the protein haemoglobin, “Haemoglobin in the blood carries oxygen from the lungs around the body, cells use the oxygen delivered to them to generate the energy needed for cellular processes.”, explains Dr Van Zuydam. When your haemoglobin is low, less oxygen is reaching your tissues and muscles, making them feel weaker. Your heart then has to work harder to move more oxygen-rich blood around your body. This tiredness is often accompanied by crankiness, difficulty concentrating and poor productivity.

    Shortness of breath

    Given that iron deficiency causes a lack of haemoglobin, oxygen levels will be low too. This results in your breathing rate increasing as your body will try to make more oxygen.

    Frequent headaches

    The lack of haemoglobin means that not enough oxygen is reaching the brain. This causes the blood vessels in the brain to swell, causing pressure and headaches.

    Dry hair and skin

    When your body lacks oxygen, it will direct the limited oxygen for more important functions like your organs and tissues. This lack of oxygen causes them to become dry and weak. That means your hair, skin, and nails won’t be getting love.

    Strange cravings

    Many people who have low iron, experience something called pica. Pica is a craving for items that aren’t considered edible, like dirt, chalk, paper or ice. Other symptoms include:

    Weakness

    Pale skin

    Cold hands and feet

    inflammation or soreness of your tongue

    Poor appetite

    READ MORE: Millions of Women Struggle With PCOS In South Africa, So Let’s Unpack It

    What you can do to raise your iron levels

    Iron is essential for healthy bodily functions, meaning that you need to ensure that your diet is up to par. There are two forms of dietary iron: heme and nonheme. Heme iron is derived from haemoglobin, so you will find it in meat, fish and poultry. You can find nonheme iron mostly in plants and legumes. A list of heme and nonheme foods include:

    Beef or chicken liver

    Breakfast cereals enriched with iron

    Beans

    Tofu

    Dark green leafy vegetables

    Pumpkin, sesame, or squash seeds

    Red meat

    Oily fish

    Nuts

    READ MORE: This Is Why You’re Starving After An Intense Day At The Office

    Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More

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    These 3 Mental Exercises Can Help You Find Your Purpose In Life At Any Age

    From the outside, it looked as if Tenise Hordge, 39, had it all. After spending 18 years climbing the corporate ladder, the engineer had the impressive title, big salary and corner office. But she wasn’t happy.

    After her daughter was born prematurely in 2017, she began to feel adrift at work. Who cares about this title I have? she remembers thinking. It didn’t help her carry her baby to full term. The money was not helping her daughter come home from the hospital sooner. Then came 2020. Hordge was exhausted, in so many ways. “I didn’t want to continue being this person I no longer was,” she says.

    You might call it an identity crisis, but psychologists would describe what Hordge was going through as a crisis of purpose.

    What does that actually mean?

    Purpose is a driving force in your life that connects you to values and ideals bigger than yourself, says psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a WH advisor and the author of Nervous Energy. Some prioritise crushing it in their careers. Excellence is a value, “so the drive to be excellent as a professional can be a purpose,” says Carmichael. But purpose can also take other forms—you may be motivated to devote yourself to religion, create art, or advocate for a social cause.

    “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances.”

    All this may seem a bit abstract, but research shows purposeful living has a real impact on our well-being. Not only are those who move through life with a defined purpose more likely to stay happy in their jobs, but they are also better at keeping up with regular health screenings and less likely to have anxiety and depression. A strong sense of purpose has been linked to greater longevity too.

    It can be good to intentionally rethink and renew your purpose periodically throughout your life. This helps you stay in tune with what’s important to you at different points in time. FYI: Adults are more likely to feel happy with their life if they have a purpose and concrete strategies to carry out that purpose, a study in Frontiers in Psychology found.

    On that note, let us introduce you to a process called “life crafting.” It involves actively reflecting on your life via writing and thinking exercises—then setting goals to make changes so that how you spend your time aligns with what you value most, says Michaéla Schippers, a professor of behaviour and performance management at Rotterdam School of Management at Erasmus University in the Netherlands, who coined the term.

    You’re prompted to take an honest look at your passions, skills and even social life. “For a lot of people, without realising it, they find they are working a certain job or living in a way their parents wanted for them or what they think society demands of them,” says Schippers.

    Life crafting involves actively reflecting on your life—then setting goals to make changes.

    In Hordge’s case, it definitely took time—and a lot of planning—to figure out her next steps. Hordge wanted to help new moms navigate the challenges she faced, especially in breastfeeding. When her daughter was in the NICU, having a lactation consultant made a huge difference. She decided that was what she wanted to do and nailed down the specifics of how to turn it into reality. First, she used her bonus to cover a year’s worth of expenses. She and her husband paid off their car loans and debts. She found a certification program near her family so she could complete her clinical hours and have help with her two children. She found a lawyer and set up an LLC. Hordge now runs her own business helping new moms.

    “You can create meaning in your life no matter your circumstances,” Schippers says. “But what’s really important is that you have to set aside time to focus on it. It’s something you create for yourself. You’re the only one who can do it.”

    The good news is anyone willing to put in the effort can reap the benefits of life crafting. Keep reading for a step-by-step guide with exercises from experts to find your spark, design your future and set a unique and fulfilling vision in motion.

    READ MORE: 18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    1. Get to Know Yourself

    The first step is clarifying your values. “My biggest piece of advice is to relearn yourself,” Hordge says. “Once you understand who you are, you’ll know what’s important to you.” The cultural obsession with status or achievement drives many to go after the next pay raise or better title versus something truly meaningful to them. “For high-achieving women and especially women of colour, we’re valued and judged by what we do and not who we are,” says Omolara Thomas Uwemedimo, MD, founder of Melanin and Medicine. “That allows people to do all these things because of positive reinforcement from others without asking, ‘Is this what I really want?’”

    Explore Your Values

    Organising your thoughts in writing is key, per research. Ideally, you want to identify a passion that aligns with your values. So, from the two prompts below, pick one that speaks to you and write a short essay to discover where you stand:

    Look to the past. Your past experiences shape you, sure—but they can also teach you a lot about your purpose. “Look back at the moments in your life that have been meaningful to you,” Dr. Uwemedimo says. “That can help you find what brings joy and lead you to where you should put your focus.”

    Look to the future. Think about what kinds of relationships you’d like to have in your private and professional lives and what kind of career you want. Also, become aware of your current habits and skills while reflecting on the ones you adore or want to develop. That’s the first step toward breaking old patterns and building new routines.

    2. Set Goals

    Research shows that goals that are aligned with values are better for overall well-being. So, once you clarify your values, you’re already halfway there. Now give some thought to how you might turn them into action. For Hordge, that meant a career change. But finding your purpose can also mean simply creating space in your life to do more of what brings you meaning. For example, if it’s being a parent, a goal may be to find a way to delegate more tasks so you can spend time with your family.

    Imagine the Alternate Universe…

    Fantasise what your life will look like if you don’t take any actions. This actually motivates you to follow through because you’re confronted with the consequences of doing the opposite. Ask yourself, “What would my future look like five to 10 years down the road if nothing changes?”

    …Then Prioritise

    Write a passage laying out your ideal life. How would you spend your days if there were no limits of any kind? When Schippers started assigning first-year students this exercise, the university saw a 22 percent decrease in dropout rates among those who wrote it. List specific goals that will help you achieve your ideal life, then prioritise them. Identify the stumbling blocks that could get in your way and write down how you might work through them.

    READ MORE: Can Manifesting Really Help You Smash Your Goals?

    3. Open Up

    Finally, announce your plans to the world, Schippers says. Sharing your goals increases accountability and makes it more likely you will achieve them. Post your goals on Instagram, or simply talk through them with your partner or friend.

    It’s also important to start a new conversation with yourself. Life crafting can help you cultivate what’s known as an “internal locus of control.” With it, you believe it’s within your control to shape and affect the outcome and experience you have in life.

    Visualise Your Success

    Once you get the ball rolling, spend a few minutes each day or week picturing yourself living the ideal life you wrote about in your essay. If your goal is to travel the world, you might imagine looking up at the northern lights or chatting with the locals in Rome. Then envision yourself messaging your 2023 self to let her know you’re proud of her. “This can help you feel connected to the person you aspire to be,” Carmichael says. “This way, your aspirational self feels more attainable.”

    This article by Amelia Harnish originally appeared in the March 2023 issue of Women’s Health. More

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    Mammograms Are Essential – So Why Are So Many Women Skipping Them?

    According to the Cancer Association of South Africa (CANSA), it’s far better to have an early-stage diagnosis, as it results in better breast cancer treatment and long-term survival. The only way to get an early diagnosis? Checking your breasts regularly at home, and making sure you attend your scheduled mammograms. But there are so many mammogram myths that scores of women are opting out of this practice. An informal survey amongst women who are hesitant to go even though they have the means to go shows that the top reasons include thinking it’s painful, having fear of radiation and being afraid of that Big C diagnosis.

    Plus, skipping just one screening can increase a woman’s risk of dying from breast cancer, per a study of half a million Swedish women.

    Since mammograms are essential, we’ve broken through a few of the myths and addressed them, courtesy of the radiologists at SCP Radiologist Practice and Dr Lizanne Langenhoven, who specialises in the treatment of breast cancer. Here’s what you really need to know about mammograms.

    Myth #1: Mammograms are too painful

    Many women still rely on their mother’s experience with early mammograms which were painful. Mammography machines have progressed exponentially since the early days, so the level of discomfort experienced during the procedure is now significantly reduced. Modern technology and digital equipment allow us to use less compression and still obtain quality imaging. Also, the amount of pressure is different for each individual, depending on the breast size and composition. Pressure is often manually adjusted so speak to your mammographer if you experience any discomfort.

    READ MORE: Getting A Mammogram: What To Know, Even If You’re Young

    Myth #2: Mammograms mean exposure to cancer-causing radiation

    A mammogram uses relatively low-dose radiation. The total dose is approximately 0.5 mSv (2D mammogram). To put that into perspective, we are exposed to 3.0 mSv of background radiation from our natural surroundings per year. Radiologists also strictly follow what’s known as the ALARA principle – to always apply radiation “as low as reasonably achievable”. Clearly, the benefits of this screening tool vastly outweigh the actual low-dose radiation.

    Myth #3: You don’t need a mammogram if you go for thermography

    At present, thermography cannot substitute mammography but may be used as complementary screening. Dr Langenhoven cautions that thermography is not all it is cut out to be. In order for the cancer to give off heat signals, it has to be significant in size. Mammography on the other hand can detect changes in the breast before they progress to cancer. A mammogram therefore picks up the disease course much sooner than thermography.

    READ MORE: 8 Breast Cancer Myths You NEED To Stop Believing

    Myth #4: Ultrasounds are safer

    “Mammography is our workhorse.  We look for masses, calcifications, and architectural distortion,” says Dr Langenhoven. “Ultrasound is a supplementary investigation used to further evaluate morphology, blood flow, consistency of masses, and lymph nodes that are abnormal on a mammogram.” Tomosynthesis, a type of X-ray, is also supplementary, used to further evaluate architectural distortion seen on a mammogram. They all work together. With denser breasts mammography is less sensitive, which is when we add the supplementary investigations to improve the sensitivity of detection.

    Myth #5: I can’t have a mammogram I have breast implants

    Yes, you can, is the short answer. If you have breast implants the compression and positioning are adjusted. The amount of pressure is equivalent to sleeping on your stomach. Modern technology means there is a very low risk of implant rupture or damage. It is usually combined with ultrasound for better evaluation of the implants.

    READ MORE: 11 Symptoms Of Breast Cancer In Women That Aren’t Lumps

    Myth #6: If am diagnosed with breast cancer I am going to die anyway. So I would rather not find out

    Perhaps the biggest and most harmful myth of all. The truth is that we’re in a period of time where 90% of women with early breast cancer can be cured of their disease, says Dr Langenhoven. “In the same way we don’t drive cars from the ’50s, our treatment is no longer ancient either!” she remarks.

    “The good news is that our understanding of the different subtypes of breast cancer has improved significantly over the past few years! We no longer follow a one-type-fits-all approach and many women may even safely be spared chemotherapy in a curative setting,” she says.  

    “As with everything else in life, it is easier to address a ‘small’ or ‘early’ problem than it is to address a much larger problem! I’ve seen breast cancer diagnosed at a size of 2mm on a mammogram – meaning that treatment is tailored to a very low-risk situation. In short, the earlier we become aware of an existing problem, the sooner it can be addressed and with much less invasive treatment.”

    Added to that, the side-effect profiles of our new drugs improve the quality of life during treatment. And the fact that we now identify and treat four distinct subtypes of breast cancer means that we can target the specific growth pattern at play and avoid unnecessary treatment. In short, modern medicine means your chances of dying of breast cancer are reduced. But screenings are still the champion in our fight against breast cancer.

    Different screenings for breast cancer

    “When you consider that around 90% of women find their own breast lumps, it is a very important part of the screening process,” says Dr Langenhoven. “Although 80 percent of these lumps are not malignant, there are cases where women owe their lives to their own self-examination.”

    Mammogram

    A mammogram involves breast imaging using low-dose X-rays to form a 2D image. The advantage? It often reveals abnormalities undetected in a clinical breast examination. Four images are taken, two of each breast. The breast is lightly compressed for less than 1 minute during the examination to improve diagnostic accuracy.

    Tomosynthesis

    This is a form of 3D mammography and uses X-rays as well as sophisticated software to create a 3D image of the breast. It is considered better at detecting cancer and reducing false positives in dense breast tissue.  It is invaluable in problem-solving and is used in combination with 2D mammography.

    Breast ultrasound

    Ultrasound is a supplementary investigation used to further evaluate morphology, blood flow, and consistency of masses and lymph nodes that are abnormal mammography.  It uses no radiation but rather real-time imaging, using sound waves to create an image. It’s a slightly longer process and is also valuable in problem-solving. It is used in combination with a mammogram not in place of it.

    MRI

    The digital MR image uses strong magnetic fields and radio waves but no radiation. You will receive an intravenous injection and then lie on your stomach, in an MRI ‘tunnel’ for around 45 minutes.  An MRI for breast screening is usually used for problem-solving, high-risk screening and for women who have breast implants.

    Biopsy

    Your doctor might recommend a breast biopsy when a suspicious area is found in your breast, like a breast lump or other signs and symptoms of breast cancer. It is also used to investigate unusual findings on a mammogram, ultrasound, or other breast examination.

    Thermography

    Thermography is a test that uses an infrared camera to detect heat patterns and blood flow in body tissues. Digital infrared thermal imaging (DTI) is the type of thermography that can be used to show these patterns and flow in the breasts. More

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    18 Mental Health Books For Anxiety, People-Pleasing And More

    Whatever may be bothering you, mental health books really help. They serve as a roadmap and guide to delving deeper into your psyche and delivering key aha-moment insights that’ll help you shed anxiety, limit people-pleasing or even find your purpose. We’ve gathered mental health books that’ll help. While we’ve grouped them into categories, you’ll find that what works for people-pleasing also helps with setting boundaries or building resilience, for example. Ready to dive into these life-changing reads? Our picks, below.

    For people-pleasers

    Let That Sh*t Go by Nina Purewal and Kate Petriw

    Find peace of mind – no matter what life throws at you – by learning these essential skills when it matters most. Above all, you’ll learn to let things go that just don’t serve you anymore.

    Please Yourself by Emma Reed Turrell

    Keen to get in on not people-pleasing anymore? Transform your life by accepting yourself as you are and not relying on other people’s judgements to bring you joy with this book. Written by psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell, you’ll learn about different types of people-pleasing and how to break out of the loop.

    READ MORE: 4 Proudly South African Apps For Mental Health Support

    For positive reinforcement

    dear self by Patience Tamarra Davis

    Reassure yourself with this collection of positive affirmations and reminders. They’re all centred around self-love, growth and healing.

    Healing Through Words by Rupi Kaur

    #1 New York Times bestselling author Rupi b Kaur has hand-picked this collection of work, where she explores loss, trauma, love and heartbreak. Through the collection, you’ll learn to be vulnerable and honest and through that, be able to let go and learn to love.

    READ MORE: The 16 Best Mental Health Podcasts To Help You Cope With Anxiety, Depression, And More

    For inner child work

    How To Heal Your Inner Child by Simon Capple

    If you’re feeling empty inside but aren’t sure why, this could be the book for you. From tackling addictive behaviours to feeling extra sensitive, or if you’re rarely experiencing joy or happiness, this book tackles these themes by taking things back to your formative years and looking to unpack what brought you to where you are, through healing. A must-read for anyone.

    How To Do The Work by Nicole LePera

    Popular social media therapist Nicole LePera published a book about healing your inner child and actually digging deep to get the work done. Find insights about self-healing and creating a life that you love through this guide. She also draws on new research surrounding the topic and teaches you to scrap old patterns that keep you stuck.

    READ MORE: 6 Foolproof Ways To Protect Your Mental Health At Work

    For assertiveness

    Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend

    If you’re tired of letting people walk all over you, this book is an excellent guide to setting up healthy boundaries that you can stick to. Since it was first published, it’s helped millions of people discover the importance of understanding their limitations so they can live more fully. A must-read.

    The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumikake Koga

    You might not relate to the title much, but hear us out: the Japanese phenomenon challenges the idea that you need to be liked in order to be the truest version of yourself. Over the course of five conversations between a philosopher and a young man, you’ll uncover insights like freeing yourself from trauma and the expectations of others.

    For anxiety

    Unwinding Anxiety by Dr Judson Brewer

    For those of us struggling with anxiety, this book uproots the source of anxiety with brain-based techniques and hacks that are accessible to use. Author Dr Judson Brewer teaches you how to identify and diffuse triggers and embrace mindfulness.

    The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk

    This incredibly popular book takes a deep look at trauma and unwinds it to reveal the way it affects your body, brain and psyche. As it turns out, meds and talking aren’t as effective when it comes to treating trauma stored in your body. Here, learn about a new route: including regulating the body through sport, drama, yoga and mindfulness.

    For intrusive thoughts

    Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Jospeh Nguyen

    Go beyond your thoughts and patterns and venture into the truth already known deep inside your soul. Learn about how to break free from negative thought loops and how to create a life of abundance, flow and ease. A book for tapping into your intuition and letting it lead you.

    Obsessive Intrusive Magical Thinking by Marianne Eloise

    Writer and journalist Marianne Eloise talks through her own journey as an obsessive person with intrusive, violent thoughts and fixation on topics. From there, she finds healing through essays that tackle fixation, disorder and neurodivergence – and how to embrace the self.

    READ MORE: Anxiety In The Morning? Why It Happens And What To Do About It, According To A Mental Health Pro

    For building resilience

    Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? By Dr Julie Smith

    Getting through the ups and downs of life can be daunting and this book teaches you exactly how, using secrets from therapy. In short, bite-sized pieces, learn how to tackle the exact situation you’re tackling and forgive yourself with practical solutions we could all use right now.

    The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N Aron

    Per Aron, highly sensitive people “are often very bright and creative by may suffer from low self-esteem.” Learn how to leverage your unique make-up with these solutions for engaging in a world different from who and what you are. The book offers ways to reframe past events and reframe the way you see yourself.

    For finding your purpose

    The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

    This deeply moving novel delves into the magic of following your dreams. Through the protagonist’s journey, discover the power of leading with your heart, reading the omens along your path and following your dreams.

    Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel

    Looking for something that’s interactive and will help you uncover truths? Look to this book of self-exploration to help you nurture your creativity and self-motivation. The book presents helpful prompts that help you reflect and grow through exploring yourself.

    For mindfulness

    The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle

    A seminal text that’s an international bestseller, you’ll learn the power of embracing the present moment for all its worth and how it can create a happier, more mindful life. While the book is not an easy read – go with pen and paper at the ready to jot down your thoughts and answers to prompts – it is a powerful text that can leave you with more answers than you’d thought.

    The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down by Haemin Sunim

    Haemin Sunim, a Buddhist monk born in Korea and educated in the United States, offers advice on dealing with life’s setbacks, rest, relationships and more. The book is fuelled by requests Haemin wrote in response to questions on social media and is illustrated with calming images.

    Women’s Health participates in various affiliate marketing programmes, which means we may get commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites. More