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    How I Finally Improved My Gut Health

    If any one of my friends had to describe my most notable identifiers, I’d guess they’d go something like this: blonde, 5’5″, has a horrible stomach.Far before gut health was a wellness trend, my gut has been somewhere within the realm of broken. I’ve been to dozens of doctors and have done elimination diets galore, but at the end of the day, my problem seemed unsolvable; more days than not, I felt the wrath of what was a stomach that was angry with me. And it isn’t “Oh, I’m a little bloated today!” kind of problems—I’ll spare you the details, but it’s “I can’t leave the house today” kind of problems.
    Quarantine has been an endless stream of days that feel straight out of Groundhog Day, but being confined to my home gave me a new opportunity: to get control of my stomach once and for all. Without after-work happy hours or eating out with friends multiple times a week, it gave me the space to focus on finding things that helped my stomach, rather than hurt it (looking at you, wine and mac and cheese). And let’s be real: there’s no better time to be taking care of ourselves than now.
    After a little trial and a lot of error, I finally feel that my gut and I are on good terms—for the first time since I can remember. Here’s how I improved our relationship for good:

    Source: @raeforwellness

    I got serious about taking pre- and probiotics
    I’ve had points in my life where I was great about taking probiotics consistently, but I always ended up veering away from being consistent because I was under the impression that they cost an arm and a leg (at one point I was buying month supplies for $60—which comes out to $2 for a single pill). 
    Here’s the thing: since my stomach is so deeply off its rocker, I can actually tell when a probiotic is working. It isn’t a miracle fix, but after a couple weeks of taking them consistently, I notice that I haven’t been having as many episodes as usual. I’m a probiotic brand’s worst nightmare: I can tell when their products aren’t up to par.
    This process led me to my new holy grail, Rae Wellness’ Pre + Probiotic. Rae Wellness has been my go-to supplement brand since I spotted their products on an endcap at Target a few months ago, and after picking up their Pre + Probiotic supplement, I was immediately hooked. All of their supplements are vegan, gluten-free, and non-GMO and have no added sugar, artificial preservatives, or harmful fillers or colorants—so basically, they take out all of the bad stuff (that have no business being in a supplement to begin with) and replace it with only the good.
    Rae’s Pre + Probiotic’s pure formulation helps balance the gut and support daily digestion with apple cider vinegar, a prebiotic that helps keep the gut flora balanced; and acidophilus, a probiotic that contains fiber. It’s also worth noting that all of Rae’s supplements have a subtle minty flavor, which makes taking them an enjoyable experience—a far cry from the past probiotics I’ve tried.
    Rae also took my inconsistency problem and eliminated it completely by having a fool-proof “subscribe” option on their website. Instead of needing to remember to pick up new supplements at the store every 30 days, I now have them delivered to my door at the same time every month—and I save 20 percent in the meantime, making them about the same cost as a couple of lattes. It’s a small investment that makes a huge difference to my well-being.

    Rae Wellness
    Pre + Probiotic
    Balance gut health and support your digestion.

    Source: Karolina Grabowska | Pexels

    I got into a consistent exercise routine
    I’ve spoken about being a morning workout person in the past, but once quarantine started, that went completely out the window. It felt like waking up before work to exercise just gave me more hours to do nothing in my day, but after a few early mornings helped me realize how much working out in the morning helped my workday at home, I decided to commit.
    Now, my alarm goes off two hours before I need to be online for work. I thought I’d miss the sleep, but how much better I feel throughout the day makes me not give it a second thought. I get to get an hour-long workout in, then shower, get ready, and make my coffee before my Slack icon turns green, and it leads me to start the day level-headed and more ready to take on whatever the day brings. My morning workouts feel like a zen time with just the world and me, and it brings me much more peace than needing to dread a post-work workout all day. Getting my body moving first thing in the day gives me a grip on any anxiety I might be feeling, which is vital to keeping my stomach in check. Which brings me to …

    Source: @madelinegalassi

    I prioritized activities that decrease my anxiety
    While my morning workouts are #1 on this list, I’ve added other things to my day that help keep my anxiety in-check—and anyone with gut problems knows that anxiety exacerbates any problems you’re having (I’ve had doctors tell me my stomach problems are completely anxiety-related—a theory I’ve since debunked, but that still shows the power of how much anxiety can affect our bodies).
    Normally, besides my face masks and the occasional bubble bath, putting things meant to decrease my stress into my day-to-day life wasn’t a huge priority. But since I now have what feels like endless hours in my day, adding a few things to make me feel better was much easier. For me, it started with the small things, like diffusing an essential oil or putting on some real clothes (don’t worry, not jeans) before I started work. I also have prioritized keeping my space as clean as possible by doing a deep clean once a week, and wiping down all the surfaces in my apartment (with a rose-scented cleaner that brings me a shocking amount of joy) before I go to bed. Having routines meant just for me, to make just me feel good has made my quarantine days feel more bearable—and at some points, have been the things that have kept me going.
    The days working from home feel much longer to me than they did from our office, so I wanted to tackle the afternoon slump I was so often feeling, and Rae’s DeStress Supplement has been the answer to that. I have to admit: I am often a skeptic about anything promising me any amount of zen, but this supplement has made me a believer.

    Rae Wellness
    DeStress
    Calm your mind and fight mental fatigue.

    Rae’s Destress capsules help fight mental fatigue and calm the mind, and I find myself avoiding the 1pm “I have four hours left of work and will never check everything off my to-do list” panic I was so often feeling. With natural ingredients L-Tyrosine, which supports mental processes and cognition to help you deal with the challenges of the day; Rhodiola rosea root, a natural ingredient to calm your mood and fight fatigue; and GABA, which helps support a balanced mood and promote calm, I also don’t need to worry about any weird ingredients going into my body that other supplements might sneak in there.
    When my mind is calm, my body is calm, which means less emergency gut problems and more time actually enjoying my life.

    Source: Alison Marras | Unsplash

    I figured out the foods that make me feel my best
    When your stomach is acting up and it feels like any of the approximately 1 billion foods on the planet could be the culprit, it is impossible to know where to start. Like I mentioned, I’ve done the elimination diets, but they’ve honestly left me no closer to a cure than I was before—so instead, I found the foods that made me feel good instead of just trying to eliminate the ones that make me feel bad. It makes the process feel more bearable and approachable and motivates me more than cutting out everything that tastes remotely good (@ Whole30).
    Obviously, raw, whole foods are at the top of this list—but I need to watch how much fiber I eat, so not eating too many fruits and veggies is also key. The #1 rule I stick to is the simpler, the better. I’m not making anything crazy over here, but eggs and toast for breakfast make me feel 10x better than picking up a breakfast sandwich to-go that I didn’t have the control of making. I like to cook for myself for as many meals as I can and meal-prep whenever possible, and it’s been fun to keep eating the things I ate on days that I lay down in bed and realize my stomach feels normal (usually night time is the point where I realize that my stomach, in fact, does not feel normal).
    I’m no doctor, but I’d assume that a part of this is that I’m getting the nutrients my body craves, and they make it easier for my body to be functioning properly (again, looking at you, wine and mac and cheese). A multivitamin is also a key to achieving this, especially on the days that, yes, both of the aforementioned culprits were a part of my diet. A multivitamin is a must for even those among us who are the least likely to take a supplement, but not all of them are created equal. You want one that’s going to support your health from head to toe, and if you look closely at the labels of many that are available, they aren’t exactly formulated to do that—and what’s the point of taking a supplement if it isn’t really going to help you?
    Rae’s Multivitamin is formulated with all of the ingredients you might pick up in individual supplements, but packed into one, do-it-all pill that can provide it all. With vitamins A, C, D, and E, biotin, and ashwagandha, they support everything from immune system function to skin health and hair growth. If you want to take one step toward improving your health, this supplement is the place to start. 

    Rae Wellness
    Multivitamin
    Nourish your body with head-to-toe health.

    Source: @madelinegalassi

    I made sleep a priority
    It triggers a big eye roll in me that the simplest things often feel like the hardest to do—sleeping enough, eating veggies, exercising—and that those are also the things that can affect our health the most. And of course, the gut is no exception.
    I’ll admit it: I love to sleep. When I wake up in the morning I give a little smile and pull my comforter closer because I literally just feel happy to sleep, but what I’ve always been lacking is routine. On weekends my body would let me drift off until 11am, but on weekdays I was waking up five hours earlier than that—leaving my body not knowing what was going on and making it harder for me to fall asleep every night. The past three months, I’ve tackled that.
    With the help of Headspace’s Sleepcasts (I absolutely swear by these), I made it a priority to fall asleep at the same time every night and wake up at similar times every morning. Of course, I sleep in later on weekends, but I try to keep that to somewhere around 9am instead of closer to noon. It’s left me with a body that knows what to expect, which leaves it happier and healthier on a day-to-day basis. And hey, with what feels like unlimited hours in the day right now, it was a fun challenge to actually try to get this under control.

    I’ve long ago accepted that my stomach will always be a little bit of an enemy to me. It will never like when I eat out or devour an entire package of cauliflower gnocci, but with the right steps, it can be better—and that’s all I can ask for. To me, consistently taking steps to make it better—rather than expecting it to be perfect—is more satisfying than anything else I can do for my health. And it turns out, it doesn’t need to be hard or overwhelming at all.

    This post was in partnership with Rae Wellness, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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    Are COVID-19 Outcomes Worse For People Living With HIV?

    South Africa has the biggest HIV epidemic in the world, with close to 8 million people living with the disease. With South Africa having recorded over 373 628 cases of COVID-19 positive cases so far, it’s no surprise that there have been questions around how the virus plays out in those living with HIV.
    New research – considered to be the largest study of a group of people who were both living with HIV and hospitalised with COVID-19 – looked to answer this question. According to the study, being HIV positive does not pose a bigger risk for worse COVID-19 outcomes.
    Why you shouldn’t worry
    The worst had indeed been assumed when no research into this had been done at all, and while the scientists don’t necessarily know why, they found that patients living with well-controlled HIV in their study population didn’t have any worse outcomes compared to a similar comparison group. The scientists did mention that more research would need to be done to confirm this.
    READ MORE: Everything You Need To Know About HIV As A Woman: Latest News, Treatments, Breakthroughs
    “In conclusion, we found no differences in adverse outcomes associated with HIV infection for hospitalised COVID-19 patients compared to a similar comparison group,” the study concluded.
    “Verification of this finding in other large cohorts is warranted to improve understanding of the impact of COVID-19 on people living with HIV. If confirmed, investigation of specific factors contributing to similar outcomes in this large group of patients with immune disturbance may provide greater insight into the pathogenesis of SARS-CoV-2.”
    What you need to know
    If people living with HIV have been anxious about what contracting COVID-19 would mean for them, this study should ease their fears.
    “I’m telling [my patients] ‘look, take standard precautions, but there’s no reason to live in fear that having HIV is causing you to be more likely to die from COVID,” Dr Keith Sigel, lead researcher for the study, said in a statement.
    “Although this, to date, is the largest study that’s been published that has a comparison group, many of the studies without comparison groups have shown a similar finding – that is reassuring.”
    HIV awareness and education organisation Avert offers some other important points people living with HIV should take note of:
    Current evidence suggests that HIV is less of a risk factor for severe COVID-19 than other health conditions.
    People living with HIV not on treatment or virally suppressed may be at a greater risk.
    As with the general population, older people living with HIV and those with other underlying conditions should take extra precautions to prevent illness.
    Try to have at least 30 days’ supply of ART in your home. If possible, ask for three months.
    The new list of underlying conditions that up your risk
    The Centres for Disease Control and Prevention recently published a newly expanded list of underlying conditions that put individuals at an increased risk of getting severely ill from COVID-19. This came after the organisation reviewed published reports, pre-print studies and several other sources of data. Here’s the updated list:
    Chronic kidney disease
    Type-2 diabetes
    COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
    Obesity (BMI of 30 or higher)
    Immunocompromised state (weakened immune system) from solid organ transplant
    Serious heart conditions, such as heart failure, coronary artery disease, or cardiomyopathies
    Sickle cell disease
    The CDC also included a list of other conditions that might increase an individual’s risk of severe COVID-19 illness:
    Asthma
    Cystic fibrosis
    Hypertension
    Neurological conditions such as dementia
    Liver disease
    Pregnancy
    Pulmonary fibrosis
    Smoking
    Thalassemia
    Type-1 diabetes
    Cerebrovascular disease
    They clarified that these lists are living documents that may be updated at any time as the science evolves.
    New isolation guidelines for South Africans
    The minister of health, Dr Zweli Mkhize, announced that the recommended isolation period for someone who tests positive for COVID-19 is now 10 days and no longer 14 days.
    “The presence of a detectable virus when testing does not imply infectiousness – it has been proven that in mild cases, virus cultures are generally only positive for eight to nine days after symptom onset,” Dr Mkhize said in his statement.
    “The duration of infectiousness in patients with severe disease is less well established. In general, patients with severe disease may continue to shed the virus at higher levels for longer periods than patients with mild disease.”
    The new guidelines go as follows:
    An asymptomatic patient can end isolation 10 days after testing.
    A patient with mild disease can end isolation 10 days after the onset of the symptoms.
    A patient with severe disease can end isolation 10 days after clinical stability has been achieved.
    READ MORE ON: Coronavirus COVID-19 Health Health Advice Health News HIV More

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    Your Postpartum Periods Might Be Heavier And More Irregular Than The Ones You Had Pre-Pregnancy

    So you just had a baby, and life is pretty different and all about feeding schedules and new sleeping habits. Through all that new mama craziness (and joy!), you prooobably have a ton of questions about the weird body stuff happening to *you* in those first months, too. Example: WTF is going on with your postpartum periods?
    Your body will be adjusting back to not being pregnant for the first month or two after giving birth, and you’ll experience pretty consistent bleeding. But that’s not actually your period returning to its pre-baby schedule. The first period after pregnancy will likely take a couple of months to get back on track, though it varies from person to person, and on whether or not you’re breastfeeding. And in some cases it may be different than your periods were before pregnancy.
    Ahead, an ob-gyn explains everything you should know about postpartum bleeding, and what to expect from that first real period after pregnancy.
    The immediate bleeding after you have a baby isn’t actually your period, FYI.
    While it might feel like you’re having one long period (and using a *ton* of pads) after giving birth, the bleeding you experience is not actually your period. This post-birth bleeding, called lochia, is your uterus shedding all of the lining that was built up during pregnancy. “The blood, mucus, and discharge that makeup lochia can last up to six to eight weeks after birth,” explains Dr. Kameelah Phillips, an ob-gyn and founder of Calla Women’s Health.
    Lochia can ebb and flow (pun intended) during this postpartum period, Dr. Phillips says. It tends to start out red in colour, and then progress to pink, and then turns to a yellowish-white colour. After that progression, which typically takes a month and a half or two, you may notice your period returning, which will generally be back to bright red or the colour you’re used to seeing. Or, in other cases, it’ll take longer before you menstruate again.
    When your actual period returns may depend on breastfeeding.
    “The return of your menstrual period depends on the individual, and regularity of breastfeeding,” Dr. Phillips says. Sometimes, the longer you breastfeed, the longer it takes for your period to return to schedule. That’s because breastfeeding releases a hormone called prolactin, which can send a message to the brain to delay the hormonal process of ovulation (because you’re literally feeding a baby at the moment).
    “Lactational amenorrhea, which is the absence of the period due to breastfeeding, can last up to a year or longer, depending on the individual,” adds Dr. Phillips. Some people consider lactational amenorrhea a form of birth control (that is if your baby is under six months, doesn’t eat solid foods or formula at all, and you don’t start getting your period), but it’s *not* considered a secure method of preventing pregnancy.
    Other people will get their period back quicker, even if they do breastfeed. Your period doesn’t typically affect your milk supply, Dr. Phillips says (but, if you’re struggling with milk production or with feeding, it’s best to contact your ob-gyn, who can refer you to a lactation consultant). It does mean that as soon as your period returns, you can get pregnant; you’ll likely start ovulating regularly as soon as your period is back on schedule.
    When your first postpartum period does arrive, you can expect it to return to what it was like before you had your baby, though potentially a little heavier.
    Initially, your first postpartum period might be heavier, especially if you had a C-section, Dr. Phillips says. The uterus may still be shedding its lining from pregnancy, so there might be additional blood.
    There is not usually an increase in pain with your postpartum periods, though, Dr. Phillips says. The period of lochia discharge usually involves cramping, as your uterus is contracting and returning to its regular size. But often, your actual period, once it arrives, will be about the same in terms of pain, cramps, and PMS symptoms as it was before you gave birth (unfortunately for some people).
    In terms of regularity, you’ll most likely experience regular periods after birth, Dr. Phillips says, with a cycle of about 21 to 35 days in length (or whatever “regular” means for you). But this, too, can fluctuate based on breastfeeding; sometimes your period will stop and start a few times before getting back to normal. Your second period after birth will tend to be more like your pre-pregnancy periods in terms of flow and length, however.
    You can typically get back on birth control six to eight weeks post-delivery if you want to.
    Getting back to birth control really depends on you and what birth control you were on (or weren’t on) before getting pregnant. But it’s entirely possible that after lochia ends, you could bounce right back and get pregnant again within the first couple of months of giving birth — whether you plan to or not.
    If that’s not something you’re trying to do, talk with your ob-gyn about birth control options. “We typically start birth control six to eight weeks after delivery,” says Dr. Phillips, “but depending on the patient, we may initiate birth control immediately postpartum.” It’s entirely individualized to the patient — you have to decide what works for you, whether or not you want to use hormonal birth control, and how you’d like to space out births if you want more children.
    It’s important to have a thorough conversation with your health care provider about postpartum birth control, because it will affect your menstrual cycle and may change your bleeding patterns, too, Dr. Phillips adds.
    Ultimately, there’s a wide range of what’s considered “normal” for both postpartum bleeding and your first real periods after pregnancy.
    There’s usually no reason to worry if your periods don’t look or feel totally like what you were used to pre-baby. But if you experience any of the below symptoms, it’s a good idea to check in with your doc.
    Heavy bleeding. It’s common to experience heavier bleeding within the first couple of weeks after birth. However, if the heaviness continues beyond that six-to-eight week period, give your health care provider a call.
    Large clots. Passing clots is also normal, but if clots are accompanied by abnormally heavy bleeding and are larger than a walnut, it could be cause for concern, Dr. Phillips says. Pay attention to the heaviness of the blood as well as the size of the clots.
    Bleeding through multiple pads. You’re going to be using quite a few pads, both during the lochia period and once you start your period. But if you need two pads at a time post-birth (during lochia or once your period starts back up) and are still bleeding through them, talk to your doctor.
    Lightheadedness or fainting. If you’re feeling particularly weak, lightheaded, or experiencing fainting during the postpartum period, it might be due to the heavy bleeding. This could be a sign of anaemia, so check in with your ob-gyn to have a blood test.
    The bottom line: Most women start to menstruate again about a month and a half to two months postpartum, though it can vary and depend on breastfeeding. Your periods may initially be heavier and more irregular, too, but will likely return to what you experienced pre-pregnancy.
    This is article was originally published on www.womenshealthmag.com 

    READ MORE ON: Health Health Advice Menstruation Periods More

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    11 Ways to Break Bad Habits That You Haven’t Tried Yet

    Our brains are just like computers (or like the iPhone 11, for all the other millennials out there). All iPhones, and all people, have some “coding” that may not be beneficial. For iPhones and computers, this looks like a glitch in the system. For humans, this looks like bad habits. Luckily, we can rewire the brain to code a little differently and break bad habits, no matter how programmed they are into our routines.Breaking bad habits, like that caffeine addiction, constant scrolling through Instagram, staying up too late, complaining too much, or procrastinating at work, can not only make your life better, but will build confidence and form good habits. Read on for 11 ways to break out of negative routines that you probably haven’t tried yet:

    1. Keep track
    The first step in breaking a habit is increasing your awareness. Maybe you know that you mindlessly check Instagram throughout the day, but you’re not sure exactly how much you’re scrolling or when you’re reaching for your phone out of habit. Maybe you know you need to quit drinking soda but are not sure how many cans you’re sipping on throughout the day.
    Without judging, start keeping track of the bad habit. Try recording each can of soda you drink or have your phone track how many times you check Instagram every day. Plus, sometimes setting measurable goals can help make changes. When you know you hit the snooze button three times before getting up, you can set a goal to hit “snooze” only twice by the next week, and use baby steps to reach the final goal (AKA not hitting “snooze” at all). 

    2. Identify the trigger and then replace the habit
    To stop the habit, identify the trigger. For example, maybe you reach for a piece of candy every afternoon like clockwork. Is it a sweet tooth craving? Keep a stash of dark chocolate so you always have a better option on hand. Is it stress? Take a five-minute break and do something relaxing instead of eating the candy. Is it exhaustion? Take a walk around the block to get more energy. Get curious about why (and when) your bad habit is happening, so you can either avoid the trigger or replace the habit with something better for you. 

    Source: @mylittlebooktique

    3. Trick yourself into changing habits “temporarily”
    There’s a reason going vegan for 22 days worked for Beyoncé; the program is based on the fact that it takes 21 days to form a habit. The key to this trickery is that you’re telling yourself that you only have to stop a bad habit (or keep up a good habit) for a certain amount of time. You’re not telling yourself to stop forever, and therefore, it feels much more doable than making drastic and lifelong changes. For a real-life example, mornings have notoriously been hard for me. A couple of years ago, I decided I wanted to get a better handle on my mornings and thought that making my bed would be a good place to start (it only took 24 years, but I finally became a real adult).
    I made a goal to make the bed for 21 days straight. Sure, I could’ve returned to my same slob-kebab ways after the few weeks were up, but by that point, making the bed was already a habit. Of course, the goal was always permanent change, but staying focused on a short-term accomplishment helped me keep the routine, while I was simultaneously building habits that were better than the sleeping-in-until-the-last-second-possible habit that I had going for me before. And if this strategy is good enough for Beyoncé, it’s good enough for me. 

    4. Leave reminders where you’ll see them
    Sometimes we keep up bad habits because they’re hard to break, and other times we keep up bad habits because we don’t to remember to stop. If you want to stop mindlessly scrolling on Instagram, make your iPhone wallpaper a note that reminds you not to open the ‘gram every time you reach for your phone out of habit. If you want to stop snacking (when you’re not even hungry), leave a sticky note on the fridge or pantry door to remind you to drink some water instead. Whether you need a subtle nudge or an obnoxious reminder (my habits typically require the latter), use phone alarms, sticky notes, or signs to ensure you can’t act on the bad habit without seeing the reminder. 

    Source: @ambrasbrice

    5. Get yourself an accountability buddy
    So you’ve heard that working out with a friend will get you to work out more often, or that planning to eat healthier with your significant other will make you more successful. But when it comes to any habit, we sometimes need more than just ourselves to be accountable. If you want to break your caffeine addiction, ask your work wife if she would be down to do the same, or at least help you limit your daily cups of coffee. Knowing she’ll check in with you or see you drinking another espresso during a Zoom meeting will help motivate you to go for green tea instead.
    PS, I speak from personal experience when I say there is nothing more motivating than knowing an entire social media following (no matter how big or small) knows you’re trying to break a habit. If there’s not one specific person you can ask to be your accountability buddy, post about your goals on social media, or text about it in your group chats. Just knowing other people are aware of your bad habit will help you break it. 

    6. Make unrelated good decisions
    “Confidence” is the ability to keep promises to yourself. Mind-blow, right? Whether or not that lesson shook your world like it did mine when I first heard it, we often keep up with bad habits because we’re not confident or proud in other areas of our lives. We think, I already skipped my workout today, so why not order a pizza for dinner?, or Since my day is ruined from staying up late and watching Netflix, I’ll work on my side hustle another day instead.
    These theoretical debacles may sound silly, but how many times have a couple of bad choices in your life snowballed into more bad choices? Making good choices (even unrelated to the bad habit) will not only make you feel proud of yourself, but will make you feel confident enough to overcome whatever bad habit is holding you back. Likewise, every time you replace any negative routine with a better action, you’re keeping promises you made to yourself, and therefore, building self-confidence. 

    7. Start fresh regularly
    When you skip a workout, binge bad foods, stay up too late, or scroll through Instagram too long, it doesn’t make you bad; it makes you human. Habits are harder to break when we expect perfection. Any slip-up or “bad day” doesn’t mean you failed or are back at the beginning; it’s a normal part of the habit-breaking process. Get rid of the all-or-nothing mindset that one slip-up erases the progress you made previously. Give yourself a clean slate every day, every hour, or even every minute if you need to remind yourself that one unhealthy choice doesn’t negate all the other healthy choices. Rather than focusing on the goal of breaking the bad habit, remind yourself that anytime you just do more of what’s good for you, you’re on the right track. 

    Source: @missalexlarosa

    8. Use visualization
    Breaking bad habits is not just a physical, action-oriented process. After all, a goal needs to be more than just words on paper or an idealistic outcome. You have to see it to make it mean something. If you’re working on bad spending habits, don’t just picture yourself without the money issues, but visualize how your life would be different with more money. With any habit, visualize how getting rid of the bad habit would change your life. Will you have more time to start your side hustle or more money to feel financially stable? Will you feel more well-rested and energized to be able to accomplish the big project at work, or will you feel happier with less stress and anxiety?
    Also, change your identity surrounding the bad habit. If you keep hitting snooze, maybe you think of yourself as lazy, or a night owl instead of a morning person. Instead, start telling yourself that you are a morning person and that you do wake up energized and active. To use one of my favorite quotes, visualize your best self, and then start showing up as her. 

    9. When you realize you’re making excuses, do more
    One of the most valuable pieces of advice that I received when it came to my mediation practice is that on the days where you find yourself saying, “I have no time to meditate today,” then meditate for twice as long. We makes excuses when there’s no immediate reward and wants to stay with what’s comfortable. So if you find yourself saying, “I’ve had a really stressful day and need this Diet Coke,” that’s when you really need to drink extra water instead. If you’re telling yourself not to work out because your favorite leggings are in the laundry, add an extra five minutes to your usual workout time. Excuses are just stopping you from breaking bad habits, so counteract the excuse with even more motivation.
    Quick side note: when trying to break a bad habit, excuses are more common than reasons (“It’s a stressful day, so I’ll stop drinking coffee tomorrow instead,” is an excuse). However, if you listen to your body and decide that it’s feeling too depleted to do an afternoon workout and a relaxing bath would be better for you, that’s a genuine reason, not an excuse. You won’t be able to instill good habits if you’re not intuitive with what your body wants and needs, so learn to decipher between reasons and excuses. 

    Source: @theyusufs

    10. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you
    You’ve probably heard the saying that you’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with (and yes, that includes your competitive coworker or judgmental frenemy). If you’re trying to eat healthier but your friends don’t know kale from spinach, or if you want to go to bed earlier but your roommate keeps telling you to stay up later to finish the second season of The Politician, breaking these habits are going to be tough.
    Your environment matters more than almost any other factor when it comes to habits, and the people in your life are what form the environment. Even if you can’t break up with the people who share your bad habit, spend more time with people who have habits you want to adopt. Ask the coworker who goes on morning runs to get a juice before work, or ask your sister what book she’s reading if she always reads before bed instead of watching TV. If your environment isn’t setting you up for success, reinvent it. 

    11. Remember the “why”
    Sure, we all have goals we want to accomplish, but we often focus on the surface-level goal, rather than the end goal. For example, you might say your goal is “to go to the gym more.” But why do you want to go to the gym more? Is it to feel stronger, live a long and healthy life, or feel more confident in yourself? Those are much more motivating goals than simply going to the gym. The same goes for habit-breaking too. Why do you want to stop drinking coffee, stress eating, or being late? Identify your reason and remind yourself of the end goal every time you’re tempted to fall back into old patterns. 

    What bad habits would you like to break? Which tips have helped you? More

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    Mental Health Resources You Need To Know About During Lockdown

    You might be struggling to make ends meet, scared of contracting COVID-19; you might have lost a loved one, lost a job, or are scared of losing your current job – whatever it is, it’s no secret that the effects of this pandemic have felt like a never-ending attack on our collective mental health.
    For some, the impact could feel mild and negligible, while for others, it could lead to an almost paralysing state of depression or anxiety. Moreover, it could also lead to increased feelings of loneliness, stress, negative emotional spirals, panic attacks, other forms of mental distress and could even lead to suicidal thoughts.
    While we don’t have easily available data on the pandemic’s impact on South Africans’ mental health, a new report by Old Mutual suggests that the number of people affected by mental health disorders has increased significantly over the last few years.

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    They have paid out 59% more in psychiatric disorder claims since 2016, and their proportion of suicide claims has increased by 24% between 2018 and 2019.
    “Our overall experience with psychiatric disorders shows that most claims were for major depression,” Kerissa Naidoo, Old Mutual’s Chief Medical Officer, said in a statement.
    “Other psychiatric disorder claims are attributed to bipolar mood disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, depressive episodes, adjustment disorders, and stress.”
    READ MORE: How To Get More Comfortable Talking About Your Mental Health
    The group says that most claimants, 83%, were adults aged between 30 and 50 years old – prime working age. Interestingly, 70% of these claimants were women.
    As we’ve all retreated to working from and staying home, with little to no physical social interaction, one can only imagine how much more of an impact on mental health the last couple of months have had on South Africans.
    “Whilst our statistics reflect our experiences in 2019, we can be certain that the current global pandemic will only compound matters,” Naidoo continued.
    Feelings of depression and anxiety in lockdown and isolation can make it feel like there’s no one to reach out to, but that’s not true. As we’ve heard a million times over, we’re fortunate enough to live in the most digitised era in history. Amongst other things, this has opened unconventional, but effective, channels and avenues where one can access resources to work through mental health issues.
    Here are some resources you can make use of if you feel like you need to talk to someone:
    Speak to someone for free
    The South African Anxiety and Depression Group, which is the continent’s largest mental health support and advocacy group, offers free telephonic consultations with expert counsellors and psychologists as and when you need it.
    Reach them here: 0800 12 13 14
    Another free counselling resource is Adcock Ingram’s Depression and Anxiety Helpline. Sponsored by the said pharmaceutical manufacturer, this support line offers immediate help for people that are overwhelmed by depression, anxiety and other issues related to mental health.
    Reach them here: 0800 70 80 90
    If you’re not necessarily looking to speak to a professional but want to speak to someone who feels like a friend, there’s a free service for that called Befrienders South Africa. With this service, you don’t have to disclose your identity; it’s there to lend a listening ear.
    Reach them here: 051 444 5691 (national line) / 051 444 5000 (Bloemfontein line) / 041 922 0068 (Uitenhage line)
    For suicidal emergency, call the Cipla SADAG Mental Health Line: 0800 567 567
    Book a virtual consultation
    Before COVID-19 hit, virtual consultations with psychologists were only allowed where a relationship between the psychologist and patient already existed, but this has since been overturned by the Health Professions Council of South Africa (HPCSA). In April, the statutory body announced that due to COVID-19, first-time consultations could take place virtually.
    This is something worth taking advantage of RN. Ask around in your family/friendship circles if anyone has a psychologist they’d recommend, or look online and set up a virtual consultation. Alternatively, check out the BetterHelp website. This platform will help you find affordable online counselling with a licensed therapist.
    If you have COVID-19 specific concerns, Discovery and Vodacom recently partnered to launch a free virtual healthcare platform. The platform offers access to reliable information, risk screening and, when necessary, free online medical consultations. All you have to do is register on either the Discovery or Vodacom sites and follow the prompts.
    Find nearby help
    If you feel that your mental health has deteriorated to a point of no return and you want to access nearby help, visit the TherapyRoute website. This online resource will help you find nearby mental health services. This includes everything from psychologists and social workers to community clinics, NGOs and psychiatric hospitals.
    [WATCH] Women’s Health SA chats to experts about dealing with anxiety and mental health in an ever-changing world…

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    READ MORE ON: Coronavirus Health Mental Health More

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    5 Exercises to Strengthen Your Core at Home

    Are you missing your typical workout routine as much as we are? We know it’s been months since you’ve gotten to clip into a bike at a spin studio, had a Body Pump instructor barking at you to squat lower, or blazed a trail on the treadmill. We’ve been stuck working out from home, which isn’t as exciting as exercising in a fancy gym or club-esque boutique studio, but the work itself remains important—especially when it comes to your core muscles. Your core is the epicenter of your body’s success, helping you with everything from stabilization to breathing.The best part of core exercises is that they can be executed without any added weight—your body alone can add resistance to crank up the intensity of the exercise and continue to challenge you. The number of core exercises and variations are seemingly endless, but let’s face it: the motivation to actually complete an ab workout solo or at the end of the rest of your workout can be low. These five exercises in particular are ideal; they’re going to attack all parts of your core, can be done from the comfort of your living room carpet, and will keep you from the mundane routine of crunching yourself into oblivion.

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    Planks are the most classic core move there is, but despite its constant presence in ab routines and group fitness classes, it never gets easy. Starting out on your forearms, extend your legs back behind you and come onto your toes, making yourself flat as a board. Now, it’s time to hold for as long as you can, or to do sets of 30-second rounds. The challenge here comes from ensuring your butt is down and your back is flat. Plank intensity can be increased by raising a leg, an arm, or both to add some instability. This exercise not only has a ton of options for variation, including side planks or raised planks, but it works all the muscles in your core at once.

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    Bird dogs will help strengthen the core through both contraction and balance. This move will help to train your whole core, and will help strengthen your lower back. Start out in a tabletop position on your hands and knees. Extend one arm out and at the same time, extend the opposite leg out. Then, bring both the extended arm and leg in underneath your stomach and squeeze. You can do a certain number of reps on one side and then switch sides, or do alternating reps. The element of balance comes in when the arm and leg are extended, and the other arm and leg are responsible for keeping you stable.

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    You’ll be channeling your inner superhero with this one. Contrary to popular belief, your lower back muscles are a part of your core—it’s not just about the washboard stomach up front. Start out lying on your stomach, and to execute one rep, contract your arms and legs up off the floor. After holding for a second, you’ll drop back down. Supermans work as a good counter-exercise to all of the other abdominal work you’re doing.

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    The tricky part about core work is that there are so many different muscles to train. Flutter kicks are an effective way to strengthen your lower abdominal muscles. Start out by lying on the floor and put your hands underneath your glutes or lower back. Next, raise your legs, shoulders, and head off the floor, and from there, you’ll begin to flutter your legs up and down, alternating which leg goes up while the other is coming down. This exercise can be done for time or for a number of reps. It’s important that you keep your legs, shoulders, and head raised off the ground the entire time. You may feel your neck and shoulders becoming tense, and if that’s the case, you can lower your head and shoulders to the floor and just focus on the leg motion. This won’t alter the results or benefit from the movement, but will help you to avoid injury. Once you become more comfortable with the movement itself, you can add back in the challenge of lifting your neck and shoulders off of the ground. 

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    Russian twists will help to burn out the main part of your core, and also turn up the heat on your obliques. Start out on the ground in a seated position, and raise your feet up off the ground. Next, you’ll literally twist from side-to-side, touching the floor beside your legs while keeping your feet raised. To increase the intensity, you can lean back further with your upper body creating a more difficult angle. This exercise is plenty tough without weight, but adding a dumbbell, heavy book, or detergent bottle will give an extra challenge. More

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    Being Pregnant During COVID-19: How I’m Staying Safe and Sane

    I had big plans the last seven weeks of my second pregnancy—a huge birthday bash for my 2-year-old, a fancy Easter brunch for our little family of three, even a Pinterest-worthy list of activities to do with my firstborn before he became a big brother.Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit.
    At first, I wasn’t concerned. It felt like something happening far away, a global event that wouldn’t necessarily affect us in our little enclave in Northeast Florida.
    But that changed quickly. COVID-19 has become something that we’ve all had to face head-on, whether it be dealing with the stress of social distancing, having major events like weddings or birthday celebrations canceled, or worrying about an immunocompromised friend or relative. But being pregnant adds a whole new level of uncertainty.
    Here’s what I’m doing to stay safe and sane as a pregnant woman during the coronavirus outbreak.

    Taking Social Distancing Seriously
    While I love spending one-on-one time with my son, a big part of what keeps me sane as a work-from-home mom is largely dependent on my mom tribe. They’ve been there for me through bad days, stressful work situations, even silly fights with my husband. They’re my sounding board when I worry whether my son is hitting milestones as he should or if I need to take him to the pediatrician (again) for that rash.
    But when officials started encouraging social distancing, I knew I had to take it seriously. The research on how COVID-19 could affect pregnant women is slim, and the CDC says they still don’t know if it can be passed from an infected mother to her newborn. With that said, I knew staying away was what was best for me and my baby.
    Not being able to see my best friends every day has been rough. Postponing my son’s second birthday party was also heart-wrenching. Plus, entertaining my son on my own all day is hard. But I know it’s the right thing to do, not just for my specific situation but for the population as a whole.

    Source: @jyll_mackie via #sharetheeverymom

    Staying Informed—To a Point
    I’m a journalist, and it’s long been a habit to watch the news and stay informed. But the daily updates on COVID-19 are on a whole new level—towns on lockdown, restaurants, and bars closed across entire cities, even beloved celebrities testing positive. To be honest, it sometimes feels like we’re living in a George Orwell novel.
    With the news moving at such a breakneck pace, you could spend most of the day watching the coverage. But I’ve decided to only watch the news in the morning, during naptime, and at night. Any more than that and my anxiety starts to spike. Any less and I feel like I’m ill-informed.
    I’ve also stopped watching in front of my 2-year-old. While I’m not sure he really grasps what’s going on, I don’t want to inundate him with potentially frightening images or adult themes.

    Finding Stress Relief
    As someone nearing the end of her pregnancy, I realize that now more than ever it’s important for me to stay calm. Maternal stress has long been linked to preterm labor,  and the last thing I want to do (especially in the middle of a global epidemic) is to deliver early.
    So, I’ve decided to do everything I can to stay calm. I’ve completely finished the baby’s room, down to washing, folding, and putting away all the tiny clothes and hanging the art. I’ve cleaned out all our drawers and kitchen cabinets, put up new curtains, cleaned and organized long-neglected areas, and wrapped and assembled all my son’s birthday gifts. I’ve also made it a point to support several local small businesses (online, of course), while also squeezing in some time for binge-watching Netflix and reading two books I started ages ago.
    While your version of stress relief may look different than mine, I’ve found that checking things off my to-do list while stuck at home has gone a long way in reducing my stress level.

    Source: @thebeverlyadams

    Having a Backup Plan
    At my 32-week appointment, I asked my doctor about COVID-19 and how it might affect my delivery. She said to prepare myself to not have any visitors in the hospital apart from my husband. Immediately, the sweet visions I had in my head of my son meeting his little brother for the first time in a sunny hospital room, peering into the tiny bassinet at his tiny new brother tightly swaddled in a pink and blue striped blanket, went up in smoke. I wouldn’t get that.
    What she said shocked me then, but restrictions on visitors have become commonplace in recent weeks. I’ve decided to accept that I probably won’t get the birth I envisioned. And that’s OK. But I’ve also started preparing for less optimal situations.
    For example, what if there are too many cases of COVID-19 at our hospital and they can’t accommodate us? Our hospital recently had its first case, and I expect there will be more. Right now, I’m keeping an eye on the situation and researching other options, from delivering at other hospitals to a truncated hospital stay post-birth to yep, even home birth. And I’m not the only mom considering this option. Of course, talking to your own doctor is always the best course of action—they can provide advice and solutions directly relevant to your specific situation.
    The COVID-19 epidemic has affected us all, not just those of us expecting a baby in the coming months. I know there are people who are dealing with far worse situations than I am—those with immunocompromised children, those who still have to report to work and send their kids to daycare, and of course, those who have already contracted the infection or love someone who has.
    But being pregnant and on the cusp of giving birth right now is also really, really hard. Preparing backup plans and being mindful of my mindset is the best thing I can do for myself, and my family, at this time.

    This article originally ran on The Everymom More

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    Sex 101: How to Start Role-Playing With Your Partner

    Undeniably, one of the best sex scenes in movie history is The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. Are you kidding me? 15-year-old me had a sexual awakening watching Bella and Edward get it on in the water, all to end up in bed. I mean, the scene when she wakes up to a completely broken bed, pillow feathers strewn about the room sounds like exactly what my sex dreams are made of (you know, with less Edward Cullen and more LaKeith Stanfield). And lest we forget the other best sex scene in human history: Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis in Black Swan. You know, I claimed Black Swan as my favorite movie of all time for quite a while; somehow it only dawned on me a few years later that I just might be bisexual.But you know why movie sex scenes are just so absolutely sexy? It’s acting; there’s a sense of “these aren’t real people” to the whole thing. And you know what? Regular old folk like us can get that same feeling with just a little role-playing. 
    I’ll be completely honest: role-playing with your partner can feel really intimidating and, of course, totally weird and awkward if you’re new to it. But as most sexual things go, with practice and communication comes many orgasms! So here we go, a 101 guide to the best role-playing of your life. 

    Get your boundaries and safe words all laid out
    Before you and your partner become entirely different people for the night, talk over what you’re willing to do and what you’re not. It’s important to know what each of you is hoping to get out of the experience. For you, it might just be a fun, one-night-only thing. Your partner might want to add this to your usual rotation. Some people like to use role-playing to act out fantasies. Whatever you decide is amazing, just make sure it fits for both of you. As always, communication with your partner about sex is necessary here.
    You’ll also want to come up with any safe words if you’re practicing BDSM or anything similar. 

    How to decide what to role-play
    You absolutely can just come up with a character on the spot and go with it. But if you’re not an Oscar-winning actress just yet (maybe if I flesh out the cash for that Natalie Portman Masterclass, but I digress), it’s OK to take some time to figure it out and come up with it as you go. Of course, the easiest thing would be a different person. Maybe it’s your alter-ego. You don’t totally change your look, but you go by a different name and act a little different (for example, normally you’re more dominant in the bedroom, and instead you act a little more submissive). Pretend it’s your first date all over again. 
    On the other hand, you can also decide who to role-play based on your fantasies. What turns you on? Is it a student/teacher scenario? A nurse/patient? Two roommates? Make your decision on truly what turns you on, because it’ll just feel awkward and funny to you both if it’s not something you actually find sexy. 
    Will you add costumes? You certainly can! But to be fair, if your partner is of the male species, you might be able to get away with putting your hair in a different style and slapping on a smokey eye, and they’ll think it’s different enough. (If your partner is more observant, wigs are a very fun and inexpensive way to change things up!) If the scenario is a little more complex, think about getting into character. This might feel really awkward for your first time role-playing, so don’t be afraid to start small. Speaking of…

    Start small
    It’s OK if the first time you role-play doesn’t involve the sexy French maid costume of your dreams and a fully flushed-out script of everything you’ll say. It’s really easy and casual to start role-playing through text first. You and your partner can gauge how you enjoy it and feel about it without the pressure of “acting” in front of each other. 

    Don’t stress if you feel silly
    Role-playing can sorta feel like you’re back in high school musical theater if you’re not used to it, and that’s completely normal. It’s different and new, but it takes time to get used to being that way with your partner. Think of role-playing like a game, and of course, very few people are good at a game the first time they play.

    Change locations
    Obviously, we’re not heading out to our local hotel bar to reenact our first dates right now. Instead, change up the location of where you are. You can take a walk to the park and start your role-play there (finishing at home, of course). Or just change locations in your home. Get really into it and turn your kitchen island or dining table into a little bar set-up for the evening. You could pretend your home is a hotel. Get into the fun of it and let your imagination go. Sex is all about flexing your creative muscle.

    Some scenarios to try
    Classic power dynamics—boss/employee, teacher/student, guest/maid, nurse or doctor/patient, fitness instructor/student, landlord/tenant, etc. 
    Best friends
    Roommates
    Strangers
    Long-distance—try Skype/FaceTime sex even if you’re not in an LDR
    Massage therapist
    Food delivery (very peak COVID, am I right?) 
    Non-monogamy—one person remains themselves and the other is a stranger
    Photographer and model
    Don’t be afraid to really act
    It’s not weird to get into it; it’s your fantasy for crying out loud! Role-playing is about being someone else for a little and acting out all of your desires with your partner. It’s a fun way to try all those things you dream about without a ton of commitment. Try something and realize you don’t really enjoy it? Try something different! Role-playing is about trial and error, so don’t be surprised if you thought you’d love or hate something and it turns out to surprise you. That’s what sex is all about, really: tons of surprises! More