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      There Is a Staggering Lack of POC in Wellness—Here’s How We Can Change That

      by

      The wellness industry has been historically homogenous and well, white. If you’re a white woman googling tips on self-care and mental health, you’ll find books, articles, and endless resources written for and by white women. On Instagram, a quick #wellness search propagates a feed dominated by images of white women caressing smoothie bowls, meditating, and doing yoga on the beach. I’ve spent the last five years working as an editor in the health and wellness space. Often, I’ve been the only Person of Color in team meetings and one of a handful at international conferences where thousands have attended. As a Filipina working in this space, I’ve rarely seen my fellow People of Color genuinely represented and acknowledged by this industry. 
      This all begs the question: where are all the People of Color? And more importantly, what’s a Person of Color to do when the lack of representation makes them feel unwelcomed, othered, and unseen in the wellness world? 
      For many People of Color with large social followings, a brand’s representation is a key factor when it comes to collaboration. “If I don’t see BIPOC [(Black, Indigenous, and People of Color)] represented, then I cannot believe in you. Our intentions just don’t align,” said Nikia Phoenix, the founder of Black Girl Beautiful.

      With the renewed Black Lives Matter movement bringing greater attention to the harsh systemic injustices faced by the Black community, many corporations are forced to examine how they are addressing diversity and actively fighting racism in the workplace. Among these corporations are a slew of wellness companies pledging to better represent People of Color. While this pledge of solidarity is no doubt a step in the right direction, the greatest and most significant change has come from Black entrepreneurs, speakers, and teachers in the wellness field creating spaces and self-care tools for their community. 
      According to Kelley Green, a certified yoga instructor and founder of Rise in Color, this is crucial. “As a community, in order to make the wellness experience more inclusive, BIPOC need to create and own more spaces for gatherings, whether virtually, in-person, including apps. More of us need to take ownership of the ability to lead and provide spaces that didn’t previously exist. This is how we create massive change in the lives of the communities we represent,” Green said. 

      A Needle in The Haystack
      “I realized finding Women of Color in the physical wellness space was like finding a needle in a haystack,” Green said. “When I was first introduced to yoga, I quickly noticed the majority of the studios where I live in NYC were filled with predominantly white women. The staff, the instructors, and the students were mostly of Caucasian descent, so I often found myself being either one of two People of Color in the class—or maybe even the only one.” Building spaces where Black voices feel safe and supported has far-reaching implications.
      Black women are at three to four times the risk of pregnancy-related deaths for white women; while both Black and white women develop breast cancer at about the same rate, breast cancer death rates are 40 percent higher among Black women. The adult Black community is more likely to have feelings of sadness and hopelessness than adult whites, yet there is a glaring absence of culturally responsive health care providers available to their community. The work done by Black wellness advocates brings awareness to these disparities by providing the tools and resources needed to take action. 

      Yasmine Cheyenne, a teacher, and speaker on mental health sought to create free mental health resources for BIPOC, as her experiences as a Black woman were not welcomed at the predominately white wellness groups and retreats she attended. “In BIPOC communities, I think we’re still unlearning a lot of the ways we haven’t been taking care of ourselves based on the way we’ve been taught to live in ‘survival mode’ all the time. Creating spaces where black people and POC feel comfortable healing, and where we can also have people who look like us and viscerally understand us is important for our community and our individual growth,” she said. As wellness brands proclaim their commitment to fighting racial injustice, how they move towards change will be telling. The task cannot fall on the Black community alone, and changing the wellness space to truly be more inclusive will itself be an effort in solidarity.
      Beyond bringing more diversity to their social feeds, who companies hire to leadership positions, how they plan to implement long term processes to fight both overt and covert racial discrimination, and how they persist in creating platforms for People of Color long after the public eye is gone will be the real test.

      To do your part in turning the tide, here’s what you can do:

      Educate Yourself
      Be aware of the ongoing public health crisis in the Black community rooted in centuries of systemic racism and prejudice. America is Failing Its Black Mothers is a good place to start. After that, read The Black Women’s Health Book: Speaking for Ourselves. When you’re done, don’t stop. Listen to black voices in the wellness space, have those tough conversations with those in your circle, and continue to educate yourself through the many resources available. If you’re looking for more reading material, here are 20 books on Black stories, white privilege, and how to be anti-racist.

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      I recently shared why our collagen is great, but you might be wondering: “what makes Truvani Protein so special?” . Here’s what real customers have to say about it: . “Right out of the package, it smells good…Like cocoa. It doesn’t smell sour or bitter like so many I have tried in the past. It mixes easily in a blender bottle – No chunks or pieces left in the bottom edge of the bottle. And finally the taste… The texture is smooth, not gritty and the flavor is of cocoa with slight “protein powder” flavor underneath. I am thankful to have a trustworthy source of protein and one that I can confidently recommend to my friends and colleagues! Nice work!!” – Corinn Tiwari . “I received the chocolate protein powder sample and tried it this morning. It was delicious !! I’ve had the hardest time finding a protein powder that I like and that my body likes. I can’t have dairy and whey and I’m also so picky about taste, so I gave up looking for protein powder. You guys totally nailed it!! Thank you for creating this. I love the ingredients and that it’s good for me and tastes so yummy and that I feel good after!!” – Lisa Oidvin It’s so nice hearing this. I built a brand that will never compromise on ingredients… and our products taste great, too. We live in a world where big companies fill their products with garbage ingredients and at Truvani we just won’t stand for it. Some other protein powders load up with artificial sweeteners, sugar, or other unnecessary additives. But Truvani cuts all of that out. We use only 5 ingredients in Vanilla. 6 ingredients in chocolate. And it tastes amazing. Just look at our labels (Swipe Left!) Plus, it’s USDA organic. And, we also obtained 2 new certifications: CERTIFIED VEGAN and NON-GMO Project Verified. (You won’t see the logo on the bags just yet because we just got our certification, but those certifications will be displayed prominently and proudly as we change over our packaging). So, if you’re ready to try Truvani’s Plant-Based Protein, check out the link in my bio. I know you’re going to LOVE it!
      A post shared by Vani Hari | Food Babe (@thefoodbabe) on Jul 10, 2020 at 9:22am PDT

      Support Businesses That Embrace Inclusivity
      Whether it’s the yoga studio you attend or your favorite skincare brand, do a little research, and consider how that company’s messaging and images are helping to create a place of inclusivity. If you’re only seeing one type of woman being marketed to and for (or if their feed just recently includes People of Color), that’s problematic. And if you don’t see any People of Color as instructors or in executive leadership roles, it might be a sign to take your money somewhere else and support a business that is actively working to create diverse and inclusive spaces.

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      We all need a little reset sometimes, however most of us don’t have the time or funds for a full fledge week long destination vacation, I know I sure don’t. In the name of accessibility..thank you blessed “staycation” for coming into save the day! One of my favorite ways to reset while not completely breaking the bank is a proper staycation. I have been using @hoteltonight loyally since 2015, and the magic of this app is that the longer you wait, the more you can save, making your last- minute craving for a staycation a REALITY! – – I always find that even one night away from cooking, writing recipes or curriculum for an event, etc REALLY helps reset my body, mind, and spirit. Pictured above you’ll find that I’ve ordered basically the entire room service menu lol Who says a staycation for there weekend can’t be just as healing as jumping on a plane? and like I said..in honor of accessibility, this is also a really wonderful option for those on a particular budget, but with major staycation needs. – – Do you have a favorite hotel to staycation at in your city? If you’re in NYC, What is your favorite hotel to stay in? Why? I am always on the lookout for new places to have a restful weekend away, but not too far away 🙂 #myhoteltonight #ad
      A post shared by i am sophia (@sophia_roe) on Mar 10, 2020 at 9:47am PDT

      Hold Wellness Companies Accountable
      On that note, encourage those in positions of power to actively work towards addressing and dismantling racism in the wellness space. Message companies (studios, gyms, wellness brands, etc.) on social or email them asking how they are taking part in the current conversation on systemic racism—let them know that this impacts your decision to support them. Remember, as a customer, you hold purchasing power.

      Amplify Black Voices
      Support black leaders in the health and wellness space by listening to their podcasts, watching their videos, and following them on social. Repost, retweet, and reshare their work. Better yet, discuss their work in conversations with friends, family, and coworkers. Attend yoga classes, workshops, and retreats led by black instructors and teachers. If the wellness spaces you go to are mostly white, reach out to the owners to see how they can create more inclusive spaces where People of Color feel safe, welcomed, and acknowledged. More

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      How Can I Tell If My Symptoms Are Allergies, Or A Possible COVID-19 Infection?

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      Allergy season is upon us! And having to deal with the heightened symptoms while also dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic can be both daunting and anxiety-fuelling. So, it’s not weird to have a few questions about allergies right now…
      Fortunately, the Allergy Foundation of South Africa recently hosted a webinar specifically dedicated to answering questions around allergies and COVID-19 with paediatrician and allergologist Dr Candice Royal. Let’s look at some of the most important take-outs from the conversation.
      Q: How can I tell if my symptoms are from my allergy or a possible COVID-19 infection?
      Dr Candice Royal: “Some allergy symptoms overlap with the symptoms of COVID-19. If you’ve got nasal congestion, a sore throat and a cough, you might think you have COVID-19. This is why it’s always important to make sure your rhinitis is under control and that you prioritise taking specific measures to ease your allergy symptoms so you can limit the diagnostic confusion.”
      Q: My allergies make wearing a mask uncomfortable. Is there an alternative?
      DCR: “Just to go over the basics – a mask is worn mostly to prevent your droplets from being spread to other people. So, the primary intention isn’t to protect you, but to protect others. It’s a very important public health measure to reduce infection.
      “But should you find wearing a mask difficult, the alternative that could be considered is wearing a visor/face shield instead.
      “The real question is probably why your allergic rhinitis is out of control and whether there are any simple adjustments to your treatment plan that could further ease your symptoms. I’d suggest getting in touch with your doctor and going over everything again to make sure your management treatment is as efficient as possible and to also make sure you don’t have excess allergen exposure.”
      Q: I carry an EpiPen for my allergy. If I get a severe form of COVID-19 and go into respiratory distress, would the use of my EpiPen help my breathing like it would during anaphylaxis?
      DCR: “An EpiPen is an adrenaline auto-injector and its role is to offer emergency treatment following exposure to an allergen that has produced a severe reaction. It works by giving you a quick dose of adrenaline, which helps to shut off that allergic reaction.
      “So, this is an entirely different mechanism to the respiratory distress that’s caused by illnesses such as COVID-19. Unfortunately, an EpiPen is not going to help should you have respiratory symptoms of another cause – it is specifically for treating anaphylaxis or severe reactions.”
      Q: I have eczema and sanitisers are proving to be an issue for my skin because of the frequent use. What can I do to make this better?
      DCR: “Consider washing your hands with water and a glycerin soap more often than using a hand sanitiser. Of course, as you go into shopping malls or to work, you often have to use a hand sanitiser, and should that be the case – make sure to use emollient cream immediately afterward.
      “Carry emollients with you everywhere you go so that you can make sure that your hands are always being moisturised after using a hand sanitiser.”
      READ MORE: 9 Doctor-Approved Products That Will Help Relieve Your Eczema
      Q: My son was supposed to start peanut desensitisation just before lockdown, but we’ve put a hold on it for now. Is there a timeframe for this in terms of age?
      DCR: “It does seem that the younger you are when you start that process, the more effective it is. But we don’t have an age limit per se. We have seen teenagers go through this process successfully. But the earlier you start, the better.”
      Q: Is there a specific diet that can help with asthma and allergies during this time?
      DCR: “In terms of asthma, there isn’t a specific diet that we recommend. Obviously, if you’ve got a food allergy then you’re going to exclude that specific food type from your diet. But in terms of a healthy diet, it’s not anything complicated. It’s about having a diet with a wide variety of good fruits and vegetables and consuming adequate sources of all the essential macro and micronutrients.
      “We can’t recommend a specific diet for people with asthma and allergies – it’s just about applying general health measures that would apply to the general population.”
      Q: I have idiopathic anaphylaxis [severe allergic reactions with no obvious cause] and suffer attacks three to four times a year. I’m often prescribed steroids and antihistamines for long periods after each episode – do these medicines increase my risk for COVID-19?
      DCR: “It does appear to be the case that steroids can make one more vulnerable to getting infections in general. However, we don’t yet have good evidence that being on steroids makes one more vulnerable to a COVID-19 infection, or a more severe case of COVID-19. We do [however] have evidence that people on steroids may shed the virus for longer.
      “Remember that it’s always better to be on your controlling medication than not, so if that’s the medication you need, it’s advised that you stay on it and not wean yourself off it.”
      Q: I have allergies to paracetamol and anti-inflammatories and I’m worried that if I get COVID-19, it will be difficult to treat. What should I do?
      DCR: “Having an allergy to medications doesn’t make you more vulnerable to either infection or severe COVID-19. But when you have allergies to the medications that we commonly use to treat the symptoms, I’d advise that you speak with your doctor to find an alternative.”
      Q: How should I approach the treatment of my allergies, generally?
      DCR: “It’s important to understand that allergic disorders don’t occur in isolation and need to be treated holistically. They have an impact on one’s entire emotional, psychological and physical wellbeing. For example, having eczema is not just having a skin disorder – it has huge implications on how one feels. Itching and scratching all the time makes one feel irritable, restless, unable to get quality sleep, exhausted and so on.
      “So, it’s important – especially in these anxiety-filled times – to understand that you shouldn’t only focus on the physical management of your symptoms, but also prioritise looking after your emotional and psychological health.”

      READ MORE ON: Allergies Coronavirus COVID-19 Health Health Advice More

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      17 Insanely Easy Habits That Will Change Your Life

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      Who doesn’t love a good makeover movie? Princess Diaries: royally iconic. She’s All That: Freddie Prinze Jr. was our generation’s first love. Clueless: Brittany Murphy looked bangin’ (even though that was way harsh, Tai). But life isn’t a late ’90s rom-com, and it takes more than a pair of contacts and a hair straightener to transform your life. Luckily, we’re out of high school and we’ve got bigger issues than getting the quarterback to ask us to homecoming (he always turned out to be a douche anyway). Instead, we’re focused on how to be our best selves and be happier. That means getting healthier, being kinder to ourselves, and getting sh*t done (because we deserve to have it all). No, a new wardrobe and a popular BFF won’t change your life, but these 17 insanely easy habits just might. 

      1. Make your bed
      At the risk of sounding like your mom, please make your bed. Not only will it feel good to get into a made bed at night, but it’s important for the success of your day. Making your bed first thing every morning means one small win before you even have a cup of coffee, which subconsciously will motivate you to achieve thousands of small wins throughout the day (and you know what they say about small wins: they lead up to really big ones). Plus, Gretchen Rubin found in her research that it’s the easiest and most common daily habit you can do to boost happiness.

      2. Organize to-do lists based on life goals
      Making a to-do list is no revolutionary hack, but how are you setting priorities when you review what has to get done every day? Before making your next to-do list, ask yourself where you want to be in 5-10 years. Everything on your to-do list should be taking a step towards achieving these goals. For example, strategize business growth, spend 30 minutes taking an online class, or work out if your goal is to be more active. In other words, to-do lists of even the simplest tasks should have a long-term perspective.
      Making your to-do list with goals in mind will show you where you should be spending time and where you can be spending less time. Of course, you’ll always have to do the mundane house chores or tedious tasks, but figure out where you can outsource these items, and prioritize what will get you closer to your goals first thing so you make sure to get it done (yes, that means a workout or the brainstorm meeting you’ve been putting off). 

      Source: Ambitious Kitchen

      3. Eat more leafy greens
      Getting healthier is not always a dramatic transformation. In fact, it’s typically a series of small habits and minor additions to your diet that snowball into a healthier lifestyle that’s all-around better for you. Don’t focus on cutting out food groups or limiting what you can and cannot eat (that can lead to bingeing or an unhealthy relationship with food). Instead, focus on adding leafy greens to at least two meals a day. Add spinach to an omelet, throw kale in a pasta sauce, and order a side salad when you’re eating out. 

      4. Give yourself deadlines
      You know from college all-nighters and projects at work that if there’s a deadline you have to meet, you find a way to get it done. What makes an assignment our bosses give us or a paper for “Shakespeare 101” different from a personal goal is that we don’t usually have a deadline to motivate us to accomplish it by a certain time. No matter how small or specific (like replacing your old couch, making friends with a coworker, establishing an emergency fund, or running three miles), give yourself a specific and realistic deadline. 
      If you’re still having trouble sticking to goals because you know your deadlines are “flexible” when you’re the one setting them, sign up for a marathon, announce the launch of your side project or business with a release date, or let a friend or family member know your deadline so they hold you accountable.

      Source: @charmedbycamille

      5. Instead of taking a social media break, get up and move
      You know it, you love it, you depend on it: the momentary pause from uninterrupted work to take a quick scroll through social media. At this point, opening Instagram might feel like second nature when you just finished one task and need a refresh before moving on to the next. But instead of scrolling through Instagram, checking Snapchat, or refreshing TikTok, get up and move your body to refresh yourself in between work tasks. A few jumping jacks, a mini dance party, a yoga flow, or just some stretches are enough to energize your body, reset your mind, and will help you focus better for the rest of the day. 

      6. Read more
      I’m the queen of excuses when it comes to reading more often. “I’m too tired,” “I don’t have any new books,” and “How am I expected to do anything else in my free time when all six seasons of Sex and the City are on Hulu!?” are excuses I use on a regular basis. But reading is not only enjoyable; it’s good for you. Whether it’s winding down before bed, taking a break in the afternoon, or as the ritual that you look forward to when starting your day, fit in some more time to read. As for what to read? Start with inspiring books, books to educate yourself, or enjoyable books that should be on your summer reading list. 

      Source: @twentysomethingplus

      7. Say “thank you” instead of “I’m sorry”
      I have a terrible habit of saying “sorry” all the time. I say “sorry” when I need someone to repeat what they said or I bump into a stranger, and I apologize profusely for being late or making a mistake. While “sorry” is just a word, language can affect the way we think and feel about ourselves, and women, in particular, are taught to be polite by putting themselves down. Instead of “sorry,” make a conscious effort to say “thank you” instead.
      “Thank you for being patient!” instead of, “Sorry for being late!” is another way to practice gratitude, but it’s also a consistent way to be kinder to yourself. BTW, saying sorry in relationships is crucial when you made a mistake or hurt the other person’s feelings, but showing gratitude be even more important.

      8. Tidy up your space before bed
      I know, I know: the last thing you want to do at the end of a long day is clean (the horror!). But dishes in the sink or laundry piled on the chair (we all have that one chair), can prevent us from feeling fully relaxed while going to bed at night or might make us more stressed starting the next day. Clutter in your space can translate into clutter in your mind, so dedicate five extra minutes before bed to run the dishwasher, wipe off kitchen counters, and declutter any papers or laundry that has piled up in the bedroom. A less cluttered bedroom will help you sleep at night, while a clean kitchen will make you happier the next morning. 

      Source: @homeyohmy

      9. Sit up straight
      Bad news for all the other slouchers out there: your posture might be affecting your physical and mental health. Practice better posture for overall health by straightening your back and relaxing your shoulders (and stop looking down at your phone while you’re at it!). Did you sit up taller just now? Good. 
      Start consistently working on improving posture throughout your workday (yes, even while working from home). If you want to be as extra as I am, you can also try setting reminders through phone alerts or sticky notes around your apartment, or you can set a note as your phone wallpaper to remind you to correct your posture whenever you check the time or read a text message.

      10. Take the stairs or walk extra steps
      Taking the stairs instead of the escalator or parking a bit further away from the grocery store will add up. If your schedule is so packed that fitting in a workout is causing you more stress, it might be hurting your health instead of improving it. It’s time we stop thinking of “exercise” as an hour-long HIIT class and make it about living more actively by moving whenever we can. As a rule of thumb, moving more often than you sit will make a big difference in your overall health and wellbeing.

      Source: @chrissyford

      11. Say “no” when you mean no
      How often do you avoid saying “no” when you want to? Do you find yourself doing favors for others when you’re already stretched too thin? Do you pick up work for coworkers when you’re too busy, say yes to plans you’re not excited about, or hang out with friends to avoid FOMO (even though you want a chill night in)? One of the most powerful things you can do for yourself is to say what you mean and be true to what you need. Master the art of saying “no.” Say, “I’d love to help you, but I can’t give the time and effort to this task that it deserves,” and “I need a night by myself tonight, but let’s get coffee this weekend,” whenever you feel the need to please. 

      12. Manage your money based on what brings you joy
      Listen, I’m the last person who should be giving financial advice. As a writer and a self-proclaimed “creative,” I never even thought about taking a business course in college, and the extent of my money knowledge upon graduation was how to budget for Starbucks. But one piece of financial advice really clicked for me: money is your life’s energy force. I started understanding money in a different way when I realized money was just an exchange of value for the effort and energy we’re giving about 40 hours every single week.
      Be thoughtful about how you want to spend your life’s energy; does it really bring you joy to go to drinks with that friend you don’t have fun with or to buy the top you’ll never end up wearing? Managing your money based on what does and doesn’t bring you joy will reduce stress that comes with spending money on the vacations, items, and experiences that you truly love. Also, invest in yourself: get the gym membership, purchase that online course, and open a savings account. The more money you put into something, the more likely you are to keep it up as a habit. 

      Source: @thelittletembo

      13. Mute (or unfollow) most social media accounts
      You may be the sum of the five people you spend your time with, but you’re also the sum of the five people you consume on Instagram. Unfollow or mute all the accounts that do not make you feel inspired, happy, or confident, and then crowd out the accounts that aren’t serving you with accounts that inspire you. Follow other women whose careers you admire, and find accounts that will bring you positivity whenever you are tempted to scroll (like, I don’t know, @theeverygirl, for a totally random example).  
      Also, rethink whether the bloggers, celebs, and brands you follow are providing you with inspiring content, or if their posts just make you feel bad about where you are in life. Likewise, it’s time to mute or unfollow that frenemy you had in high school or your sorority sister’s ex-boyfriend’s cousin that you met a few times. Instead of watching other people’s lives, go live your own. 

      14. Get more sleep
      Easier said than done, right? But don’t worry: even though it might feel like getting more sleep is impossible, it’s a habit just like anything else. Detox your sleep routine, try some of our favorite products, or stop looking at your damn phone to fit in a little more (quality) beauty sleep. You can also try getting to bed just five minutes earlier than the night before until you wake up feeling refreshed and energized instead of zombie-like. Also, let’s all stop hitting the snooze button, OK? It’s only confusing the body, and if you’re going to sleep early enough (curse you, Netflix!), you should be waking up naturally and easily. 

      Source: @missenocha

      15. Donate $5 to a new organization or charity every month
      It may sound counterintuitive to spend money more often if you’re like me and your bank account is a constant source of stress. However, feeling a lack of something (whether it’s time, love, or money) is all mental, no matter what. It’s a cliché glass-half-empty situation; realizing you have enough water (or money) to give some away will show you the glass is half-full instead. 
      But more important than even our own finances is what we can do to help other people. Compassion, support, and empathy should be a part of our routines, just like brushing our teeth or doing a load of laundry. Take the time to educate yourself on organizations and charities that need your help, and then donate what you can regularly (FYI, even the price of one latte can make a difference). 

      16. Set your alarm a few minutes earlier than you need to
      If your mornings feel more like a race against the clock or an episode of Chopped, consider waking up extra early to have a slow, calm start to your day. You might have limited control over your mornings (like an early work start time or a child to take care of), so waking up just 10-15 minutes earlier than you need to will help you feel more in control and calmer throughout the entire day. Whether you spend your time meditating, indulging in a luxurious skincare routine, or just brewing a cup of coffee with a moment of silence, you will not miss the 10 minutes of extra sleep. 

      Source: Sassy Red Lipstick

      17. Limit your decision making
      We make a lot of decisions every single day, even just within the first few minutes of waking up: whether or not to hit snooze, what to wear (which is approximately 100 different decisions), when to turn on the coffee pot, to be or not to be (that is the question–especially when you didn’t get enough sleep last night). The little decisions add up to be overwhelming. Decision fatigue is a real thing, and it’s why we opt for pizza delivery instead of cooking at the end of a long day or forego the workout altogether if we have to think about which time slot works best.
      To keep up with healthy habits, limit decision making as much as possible and reduce decision fatigue. Meal prep all your lunches, sign up for workout classes in advance (or put a workout in your calendar so you can’t skip it), and try a go-to outfit formula so you don’t have to think about what to wear. The purpose of forming habits is so you don’t have to think about whether or not to wake up earlier, go to bed sooner, or do the dishes after dinner; you do it because there’s no option not to. 

      What habits have changed your life the most? More

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      Women of Color: Let’s Give Ourselves Permission to Do Less

      by

      The most profound thing my therapist ever taught me was not a lesson she taught. It was a question she asked: why do you feel like you have to do it all, right now? She sat across from me in her dimly-lit office, legs crossed at the ankles, calmly sipping tea from her blue patterned mug and asked again, another way: why the urgency? I paused. Took a moment to imagine myself not urgent. She had only known me a few weeks then, but she already knew me as a person who lives in totality, despite the costs of living such a lifestyle. She recognized me as a person who wants to be her whole self. Explore all her passions. Share all her gifts—even at the expense of well-being. It wasn’t until that day that I stopped and asked myself, why the urgency? Why was I pushing myself to achieve more, climb higher, and work harder than anyone ever asked or expected me to?The answer, for me, lies in my identity as a Black woman.
      When I was young, I remember being told that I would always have to work twice as hard for half as much. Being told that education was mandatory, but even that wouldn’t be enough. Being disappointed in myself for getting one B on my report card, one time. Still being told, later, that my success was a gift of my race and not a result of my life’s hard work. Those lines spoken then manifested later in anxiety and imposter syndrome. I developed an intolerance for average. An insistence on exactness. A relentless pursuit for perfection that landed me here, now, watching my therapist sip her tea and marvel at my mayhem. After the session, I did some deep soul-searching and realized my urgency was coming from a sense of perfectionism that wasn’t my own; it was a result of the world as seen and experienced by a Black woman for whom nothing came without a fight. Once I realized that, I also realized I no longer wanted to live that way. I wanted to ditch the urgency and find balance. Shed the burden of fear, inferiority, anxiety; replace it with self-care, self-love, self-worth. But how? If, like me, you are a Black woman or Woman of Color who finds herself overwhelmed, off-balance, and/or consistently doing too much: keep reading as I share my story. For me, finding balance came as a result of some shifts in mindset, attitude, and priorities.

      I began demanding less of myself, and more of other people.
      At some point, I realized that while I was placing exceptionally high expectations on myself, my expectations of others—especially regarding how I allowed them to treat me—were exceedingly low. To flip that around, I began by acknowledging my worth. I was dealing with a wicked case of imposter syndrome, which caused me to credit my every accomplishment to luck, circumstance, or both. When I had writing published, I assumed it was because the publication was desperate. When that published writing was later awarded, I assumed someone only did it as a favor to me. When I was accepted to a Ph.D. program, I figured it was because of who I knew; not my own merit. The list goes on and on. Shifting this mindset caused me to consider each of my accomplishments individually. To celebrate those accomplishments. And then, to let myself off the hook of my own high expectations. 
      After acknowledging my worth, the next step was demanding that others did the same. I began to take notice of the people who were always quick to put me down. Those who tended to ask clarifying questions about how I accomplished what I accomplished, instead of first celebrating my accomplishment. These were the same people who would joke about earning something without even trying, knowing that I actually worked hard and tried (unsuccessfully) to earn that same thing. I started speaking up for myself when these things happened. I started demanding respect. And if/when these people still refused to acknowledge my worth, I walked away.

      I confronted the problematic nature of my role at work.
      If like me, you’ve been the first “diverse” hire at an organization, you’re probably already aware that there’s a lot of pressure. And this pressure is emphasized when people of color are hired into leadership positions, especially by organizations specifically looking to make a diversity hire and/or show their “commitment” to diversity, equity, and inclusion. As described in Nonprofit Quarterly, when white leaders are hired into an organization, they are encouraged to “fail forward,” using failure as a tool to learn and grow. However, this isn’t the case for Black leaders. When we fail, we’re only proving to those who hired us that we were not a good “fit” for the organization. We’re also giving them the excuse to say, “well, we tried to hire a diverse leader, but it didn’t work.” The pressure that Black workers and leaders endure from their staff, boards, etc. to “get it right” comes from the knowledge that a steep learning curve or even a minor mistake could cost not only you your job, but could also mean that other Black people won’t be considered for that job (or similar jobs) in the future. 
      For me, the first step in combating this issue was recognizing that it existed in the first place. And by existed, I mean this wasn’t just me overreacting or making something out of nothing. This was a systemic issue rooted in bias and prejudice. After I educated myself, I helped to educate others. From there, I began to point out microaggressions in the workplace, and advocate for myself when I wasn’t given the same grace as others. I knew this would be scary—and risky—but without speaking up for myself in this way, I feared I would never have the positive workplace experience I deserved. 

      I ditched the perfectionism for self-care.
      In the workplace, Black people and people of color often feel pressure to be perfect. I used to believe that even asking for help would be proof to everyone that I did not belong. Whenever I felt the urge to express vulnerability, I forced myself to maintain a cool demeanor (ironically, the same cool demeanor that often made my coworkers and employers refer to me as “unlikeable”). Little did I know, the ridiculously high standards I was placing on myself were a result of a harmful white supremacy culture that I had fallen victim to. As far as I could tell, advocating for oneself and/or taking care of oneself were behaviors reserved for those with privilege. I watched in awe as my coworkers talked back to the boss in meetings and showed up late for work without apology; meanwhile, I was always on time and submissive, yet still, the first one demoted, laid off, fired.
      Instead of focusing on being “perfect,” I began to congratulate myself for working hard; for accomplishing tasks; for staying positive. Truthfully, it is still hard for me to ask for help in the workplace. My hope is that the more I am accepted, the more vulnerable I will be able to be in these spaces.

      I focused more on life and less on work.
      Something I had to come to terms with was the fact that for me, work-life would always come with added challenges as a result of race, and race alone. No matter how satisfied I might be in a workplace, the fact remains that I have never worked anywhere where I was not stereotyped, dismissed, rejected, humiliated, undermined, etc. in ways that my white counterparts were not. Once I accepted this harsh reality, I made a radical decision: I would value rest over being busy. Our culture brainwashes us into believing that our worth is tied to our productivity. I had to unlearn the harmful belief that I could not rest, relax, or take a day off without compromising everything I’d worked so hard for. Once I shed that negative mindset, I placed energy into being present in all aspects of my life, and not just those deemed worthwhile by American society.
      I also embraced self-care and ditched self-neglect. For me, self-care looks like a lot of things. It looks like yoga and meditation. Taking candle-lit bubble baths on Wednesday nights. Blocking negative energy (and people) on social media. Scheduling mental health days. Bingeing Netflix. Bingeing fresh-baked cookies and ice cream. Whatever it takes to remind myself that I am worthy; valued; appreciated.

      For many Black women and Women of Color, it is not simply a question of finding work-life balance. It is a question of balancing so much more: balancing expectations people have of you with your expectations of yourself; balancing self-hate and self-love; balancing your conception of what you need to accomplish to be successful versus how others are privileged to define success. Finding my balance has been less about sacrifice and more about standards. My new commitment is to myself; not to others. I’ve wasted enough of my energy trying to prove to others that I am good enough. Now, it’s time to convince myself that I’m good enough. That I’m worthy of my job. Worthy of my accomplishments. Worthy of success. Worthy of rest. I am still a work-in-progress, but it feels good these days to move around with a little more balance, and a little less urgency. More

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      The Pandemic Helped Me Become More Confident With My Disability

      by

      As someone with a physical disability, I have always struggled with my mental health. I’m not certain whether my anxiety and depression are only manifested as a reaction to my experiences as a disabled woman, but I am confident they are, at the very least, exacerbated by it. Even if I tend to forget, I’m fortunate that my disability (Charcot-Marie-Tooth) is fairly easy to hide. My disability is a neurological disorder that causes the muscles in my lower extremities to be weaker than normal. I wear leg braces to help me walk, but other than that, I live a fairly normal life. My mental health is severely impacted by my disability, however, because my anxieties are constantly on edge as I worry about people staring, or about climbing stairs, or about standing for too long without a chance to sit. Ever since I was a child, I’ve lived with severe anxieties that caused stomachaches and nightmares. I feared everything from going over bridges to being sucked down the drain (this fear inspired by a Rugrats episode). It was so bad that if my family went out on a school night, I would nearly be in tears if I hadn’t been able to finish my homework beforehand, for fear of not having enough time to complete it when we finally returned home. 
      It wasn’t until a few months ago, when my anxiety transformed into depression and I struggled to keep up appearances of being just fine, that I finally got help. I am unable to pinpoint the exact moment my depression became a thing. It’s possible that I was rejected from one too many jobs, or I could feel some of my college friends and I growing apart as our early 20s began to slip away. Either way, I knew I was in trouble when I struggled with my writing; my creative juices simply were not flowing. I am writing about living with a disability for an MFA program and constantly focusing on the struggles I have faced with my disability became too much for me to work on. At the same time, I knew I needed to complete my memoir not just for my degree, but because I felt by getting my truth down on paper it would begin to help me understand and reconcile my negative feelings towards my disability. 

      I am unable to pinpoint the exact moment my depression became a thing. It’s possible that I was rejected from one too many jobs, or I could feel some of my college friends and I growing apart as our early 20s began to slip away.

      I had wanted to work with a therapist for several years, as more of my friends began seeing one and shared their positive experiences. But, like many Americans, mental health costs were not covered under my insurance. I contacted therapist after therapist, hoping I would find one who would take pity on me and offer a discount. Finally, I found one and have been working with her for several months. 
      We were able to meet in person once before we were forced into quarantine. I was worried that I would no longer be able to see my therapist, but was glad when she offered telehealth sessions. Our first session was a struggle, the video continuously froze, the audio was too low, and I ended the session fearing the next virtual appointment. After that first session though, we decided to forgo the video and just do a phone call.
      While I was happy that I was still able to speak with my therapist on a weekly basis, I feared that by not being able to see me, she would miss out on certain physical cues that were instrumental to understanding my anxiety. I have found that the only way to combat this is by vocalizing the reason behind the fidgeting, or if I don’t know the reason, simply vocalizing the fact that I am feeling anxious at that moment. This is challenging me to be more honest about my thoughts and feelings. On the flip side, not seeing my therapist face-to-face has given me a certain level of confidence I would not exude in person. In-person, I would be more focused on what I was doing with my hands or fidgeting with my hair than the conversation at hand. Like many aspects of our lives at this time, I need to be OK taking the good with the bad.

      While I was happy that I was still able to speak with my therapist on a weekly basis, I feared that by not being able to see me, she would miss out on certain physical cues that were instrumental to understanding my anxiety.

      I told my therapist how, in a weird way, I felt fortunate that I have struggled with anxiety for most of my life and that I had sought help before the pandemic began. Nearly everyone is now living in a state of constant fear and anxiety, and many people have not had to deal with these feelings before. As someone who has lived with anxiety all my life, I am slightly better equipped to recognize irrational fears versus rational ones, which I think makes a huge difference in this pandemic. I read a lot—whether books, magazines, newspapers, etc., I am almost always reading—and I have found this breadth of information and various perspectives have made it easier for me to identify those rational versus irrational thoughts.
      Books allow me to see that I am not alone in my way of thinking. For example, I am currently reading Sally Rooney’s Normal People (which is also a limited series) which tackles numerous mental health issues. I see myself in those characters, and it is helping me understand why I think the way I do. With the pandemic, I read verified sources that reference experts to determine what level of worry is rational. I admit the beginning of the pandemic made my anxieties even worse (for a time I had a panic attack anytime I listened to White House press briefings), but as the weeks stretched into months, the shock has worn off and I have educated myself enough to feel I have the tools necessary to be as safe as I can be, without closing myself off from the rest of the world.
      Whenever I go out I wear a mask, I wash my hands, and I keep my distance. I have not seen my family and friends in person because many of them are essential workers, but I video chat with at least one or two people every week and plan on having safe, socially-distanced dates with a friend. I feel as time has passed, I have begun to settle into my “normal” levels of anxieties, which I have been learning to deal with for months now. I work to challenge my suffocating mindsets, but more importantly, I am working to trust myself. 

      Like many aspects of our lives at this time, I need to be OK taking the good with the bad.

      I have decided to treat myself throughout this pandemic by ordering an abundance of goodies from face masks to bath bombs, salon-quality hair products to new clothes. When I put on new clothes and my hair is done, my face is clear and my makeup looks good, I feel rejuvenated.
      Doing these things, like buying fashion and beauty products, helps me feel good about myself and my body, something that I have always struggled with. With the pandemic, I went several weeks where I didn’t do my hair at all, I wore sweats or pajama pants every day, and it negatively impacted my mental health. I was hesitant to order things at first because I felt guilty for the delivery drivers and warehouse workers, but after a few weeks of realizing that things were not going to change anytime soon and I was not going to be able to go shopping in person for the foreseeable future, I finally broke down and made my first purchase: prescription glasses and sunglasses.
      I felt this was a necessary purchase, as I did need new glasses, and when I got them in the mail and tried them on I felt better than I had in weeks. They helped me feel cute and confident. After this, it was as though the floodgates opened and I felt free to order more: I bought a new CC cream from Ulta, as well as bath bombs, face masks, and lotion, I bought salon-quality hair care products from R+Co and, my most exciting purchase, I signed up for a clothing subscription service.

      Doing these things, buying fashion and beauty products, helps me feel good about myself and my body, something that I have always struggled with.

      Before the pandemic, it was my goal to become more comfortable with my body and less afraid of showing my leg braces. I planned to promote body positivity on social media by sharing photos of myself in dresses or shorts with my leg braces on full display. I have yet to get the courage to do this, but with my beauty purchases and focusing on my mental health with my therapist, I believe my confidence level is growing daily, and before long, I will be ready for the world to see me as I am—disability and all. More

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      These Activewear Trends Are So Cute, They’ll Motivate You to Work Out At Home

      by

      I’ve always lacked motivation when it comes to working out. For example, I faked my period every other week to get out of gym class (thankfully, my PE teacher was an awkward older man who didn’t want to question that frequency). As an adult, I finally established a consistent exercise routine by going to workout classes (and have only faked my period a few times). There are exactly two reasons classes gave me the motivation to work out: 1. the chance to get out of the house (I work at home full-time), and 2. steep cancellation fees. You can imagine my panic when all studios and gyms started closing mid-March. What other reason is there to work out than $20 to cancel and lemon-lavender cloths!? There’s nothing that motivates me to do anything or go anywhere more than a really cute outfit, so I took the same approach. Sure we all should exercise for our health and wellbeing, but sometimes it’s just hard when a new episode of Riverdale is calling. 
      Whether you’re live streaming yoga, getting after it on the treadmill, or taking your dog for a long walk, the biggest activewear trends of 2020 are so cute you’ll want to throw them on, get moving, and maybe take a selfie or two. Happy shopping (I mean working out)!

      1. Matching sets

      A matching set is the activewear equivalent of a crisp, ironed button-down: whenever you wear it, you just look like you have your sh*t together. A matching set of leggings and bra top in a cute print or a comfy fabric is as worthy of an #OOTD selfie as your favorite sundress or newest blouse. Plus, you’ll look damn good doing downward dog in all one color.

      2. One-shoulder top

      The latest trend in sports bras and workout tops mirrors one of the biggest trends in your closet: one-shoulder is officially all the rage. If you’re anywhere above an AA cup, no worries. The latest designs are built for the best support, so your beloved breasts won’t slosh around during even the toughest HIIT series (did that sentence really gross anyone else out?). 

      3. Pastel leggings

      The weather is warm, which means it’s time to get brighter and bolder with the colors we wear. The most stylish trainers and active fashion girls are ditching their black, gray, and neutral leggings for more blues, purples, and pinks. Leggings have never been so pretty.

      4. Tie-Dye

      Yes, the it-trend of the season (nay, year), has officially made its way into your activewear. Dye your own shorts or sweatshirts if you’re dying for a DIY, or get a matching set to knock out two trends at once. No matter what your preference, adding some tie-dye into your workout routine will power you through a long run or an online barre class. 

      Electric & Rose
      Tularose Bra

      2 colors available and 30% off!

      5. Ribbed fabrics

      If there is such a thing as a “texture of the season,” ripped fabric is officially the MVP. Staying at home for months on end and living in loungewear challenged us to investigate the comfiest, coziest fabric available, and there’s something about a slightly ribbed design that takes the cake. If you’re looking for activewear that doubles as loungewear, or even sleepwear, look no further. 

      6. Bright citrus colors

      Every season has an it-color, and summer 2020’s is bright, sunny, and citrusy. Think: tangerine orange, grapefruit pink, or lemon yellow. Go bold in a pair of leggings, or keep it subtle with shoes and small details. 

      Eleven By Venus Williams
      Hoodie

      2 colors available, and 39% off!

      7. Printed bike shorts

      You already know bike shorts are cool (Kim K has been wearing them for years), but plain black bike shorts are can be worn for brunch plans or a night out now. Make your workout looks a little more fun with a printed version that’s as comfortable as it is cute. They will be your go-to for every outdoor workout throughout the entire summer. 

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      4 Ways to Stay Safe This Summer With COVID-19

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      As summer kicks into full gear and states and businesses are reopening from the COVID-19 pandemic that took over our schedules this past spring, the urge to get out of the house and back to our “normal” way of life is strong—but cases of COVID-19 are still on the rise here in the United States. In just the past week, confirmed cases of COVID-19 in states like Florida, California, and Texas have risen dramatically in just days, with California setting the record for highest number of new cases reported in one day. As we begin to venture out of our homes to support local businesses, visit family and friends we haven’t seen in months, gear up for summer travel, and adjust to a modified routine, we also have to be mindful of our health and the health of those around us. If you’re craving a little fun in the sun this summer and are looking to break out of the house, make sure you do so in the safest way. 
      1. When in doubt, continue to social distance 
      It can seem like the world has let up on COVID-19 since the summer began, but don’t let that trick you into jeopardizing your health. Rushing back to our old routines and the luxuries of meeting up with friends for our favorite brunch, pampering ourselves in a nail salon or spa full of customers, and attending large gatherings and celebrations could put us at risk of getting sick, which would keep us in the house even longer. Avoid large crowds and social gatherings when you can this summer to continue to social distance properly. Being judicious about who you are spending time with could make or break your health. 
      When out to see family and friends, make sure to continue to wear a mask, sanitize and wash your hands as often as possible, and limit your time around those you may not know. Remember that family and friends are still vulnerable to COVID-19 this summer, so when visiting them, make sure to limit your physical contact. 
      Summer is the time for cookouts, celebrations, pool parties, and outdoor events that attract big crowds. If that family cookout or Sunday brunch in the sun is calling your name, make sure to continue to protect yourself and others by being cautious and limiting your physical interactions as much as possible. If you plan to host a gathering this summer, here are few tips to make sure your event keep everyone safe and healthy: 
      Sanitize and clean surfaces before, during, and after your gathering to keep from spreading possible viruses in your home 
      Keep your invite list friendly, but small and manageable, as to not overcrowd your space with too many guests 
      Consider having masks, hand sanitizer, and enough soap for everyone to properly wash their hands before entering and throughout the party 
      Keep everyone safe by ensuring your set-up is social distancing-friendly, with tables and chairs spaced apart and enough utensils and food portioned out where large crowds won’t have to gather

      Source: Rawpixel

      2. Support local businesses safely 
      Not surprisingly, online shopping has increased the past few months, and supporting local businesses that may be reopening is now more accessible than ever. Continue to support the businesses in your area by purchasing items and gift cards online or scheduling curbside pick-up or home delivery for your favorite items. This helps businesses limit the number of customers they have to be in contact with, protecting themselves and their employees too. 
      If you have to go into a store this summer, prepare in advance and know what you need beforehand to get in and get out for the safety of yourself and others. Head to your favorite restaurant for a quick drink and a meal and ask about menu items (and even drinks!) that can be prepared ahead of time before you arrive for your reservation, or ask to see if properly-spaced outdoor seating is available. When dining, make sure to continue to follow your area’s mandate for social distancing and wearing your mask when possible. 

      3. Travel with caution 
      The travel industry came to a halt this spring during the pandemic, becoming one of the hardest-hit industries—and we all felt it. Canceled travel plans—from getaways with our friends to delayed celebrations and road trips—left us itching to get out of the house this summer, but consider every precaution you can when deciding whether to travel this season or not: 
      Are you traveling with anyone who is more likely to get sick? What’s the plan to keep them safe? 
      Can you drive to your destination, or do you have to take public transportation or fly to get there? 
      When you arrive, is that destination prepared to accommodate patrons in the safest way possible? 
      Are you willing to stay home and quarantine for 14 days after traveling? 
      Remember that all states and countries are not under the same mandates, as some have either loosened or tightened their restrictions during the pandemic, according to what case numbers look like in a given area. According to the CDC, air, bus, and train travel makes social distancing harder to manage and maintain throughout the airport, in planes, on buses, and in train stations, but all modes of travel can pose risks to your health. Staying at home is the safest way to prevent getting sick, but if you must travel this summer, it is up to you to take every precaution possible to ensure you, your family, and friends are safe: 
      When booking, make sure to confirm what that state or country’s mandates are and how they are accommodating travelers safely at their hotels, resorts, bars, and restaurants.
      Bring and use your own cleaning supplies, face coverings, and sanitizer, and be diligent about washing your hands.
      Continue to avoid close contact with other travelers where you can. 
      Be prepared to quarantine if needed for at least 14 days when returning home. 
      Travel is especially risky this summer, but there are other ways to get away without necessarily having to pack up and leave.

      Source: Bianca | Pexels

      4. Make indoors feel like the outdoors
      We’ve all been pretty creative and resourceful this spring, using what we have to make the best out of staying at home, from working out in the middle of our living rooms to turning our kitchens and dining rooms into fancy restaurants for date night. This summer, bring the fun of the outdoors indoors and create your own getaway with activities you can do at home. Were you looking forward to your glamping trip with the girls this summer? Turn your living room or your backyard into your own camping space and invite your friends in-person (with proper distancing, of course!) or online to join you. Made plans to attend a few concerts this summer? Many concerts have turned to broadcasting their annual live event online, so set up your TV and space to enjoy a few music events from your couch. Make your home feel like the best place to travel this summer by making it your own personal, exclusive destination. Making the best of this summer doesn’t mean you have to risk your health to do so. Continue to stay safe and protect those around you while enjoying these summer months. 

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