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      5 Habits That Can Boost Your Sex Life

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      Sometimes, it can seem like we’re all being told everything we should be doing. Eat more cauliflower! Try this new workout that will make your butt look amazing! Meditate every morning! It’s exhausting to be told what to do but never communicated how exactly it will affect our health and our bodies.Instead, we should be focusing on easy, actionable, healthy habits that actually cause a change in our lives over time. Boosting our sex lives isn’t much different from our overall health — sex isn’t independent of the rest of your mental and physical health. Adopting healthy habits can improve all the areas of your life, sex included. So, when we add these habits into our day-to-day routines, there’s more happening than increased energy and a higher sense of confidence.
      So, you want to get healthier and pump up your sex life? We’ve got you covered. Here are our top five habits that will positively impact your overall health and your libido:

      1. Keep work out of the bedroom
      We’ve all been there. We sit in bed with the laptop catching up on e-mails or scroll through Instagram on our phones. It seems harmless when it’s happening, but over time, you’ll start to notice it’s difficult to turn off the work brain when you’re in the bedroom. Next thing you know, you’re thinking about your to-do list while you’re doing the damn thing!
      The easiest way to get out of this mindset is to slowly take technology out of your room — no more writing or replying to Instagram DMs just before bed. Set a designated area of your home to do work and leave the bed for sleeping and other bed-related activities. You don’t need a separate office space to do this either! Simply creating a nook in the corner of your small studio for working or only working on your couch can help keep the work brain out of the bed.
      This is a lesson in becoming more present and focused with your partner. When you’re able to let go of work or anything else going on in your life for a little bit of time to enjoy moments with your partner, you can connect on a deeper level, which in turn means getting it on is much more enjoyable. Less stress, better sex — everyone wins here!

      2. Exercise
      Obviously, getting consistent exercise is good for you. We all know that by now. However, exercise (in various capacities) is amazing for your sex life. (Oh, great, another reason we need to be working out!)
      Exercise (whether it’s yoga, pilates, kickboxing, weightlifting, running, or whatever you enjoy!) is an amazing way to decrease stress. Not only does it help you cope with current stress, but when all those endorphins release, your body is less likely to build up the same stress and worry from before. Stress can be one of the biggest reasons women lose their libido, so if you’re trying to have better sex, this is a good one to kick to the curb first.
      Getting regular exercise is also an amazing way to improve stamina and flexibility, which in turn increase sexual pleasure. Exercise is another great way to boost your confidence, and we all know how it feels to have sex when you’re not really feeling like yourself. When you’re feelin’ yourself, sex is bound to be a great time.

      3. Communicate
      Communication with your partner is more than a simple “how was work?!” every day. It’s important in any relationship to keep learning and growing with your partner. Whether you’re in a LDR or have been together for a long time, keeping the spark alive emotionally can keep up the passion in the bedroom. Go on real dates (which can be especially helpful for those of us who live with our partners!), discover a new hobby you both like, and practice active listening. Making your partner know he or she is heard in the relationship and that their feelings or ideas are validated can go a long way in making you both feel more comfortable and at ease with each other.
      Aside from still taking the time to get to know the person, there’s a lot of sexual communication to engage in. You can tell your partner that you want to try something new (a new position, role-playing, or different days or times than your norm are all great ideas) or talk about what you like and don’t like. This could happen before sex (this could make some great foreplay!), during, or after.
      Make it a habit to talk to your partner about sex. It can often feel uncomfortable (weird, but true!) to discuss these things, but this can only improve the experience you two have together. Once you start to become more comfortable discussing these things with him or her, it will be easier to actually implement and try out all those new things you’ve discussed with one another.

      4. Ask the experts
      Don’t be afraid to talk to experts when you have questions about your sex life. OG/GYNs and sex therapists are there to help with whatever questions you may have! No matter how TMI or insignificant they may seem, your questions are valid. Make it a habit to write down (or put them as a note in your phone) any questions or thoughts you have and bring this list to any doctors appointments you have.
      While they’re obviously not experts, this also goes for talking to friends or other loved ones. It’s comforting to get second opinions or thoughts and ideas from your girlfriends. Talking to them is generally more comforting than a doctor, and they might have personal experience with the same situation.

      5. Get more sleep
      Sleep is basically the cure-all to everything — acne, stress, body aches and pains, and yes, good sex. There are many studies saying having more sex can cause better sleep, but there is also evidence that sleep can cause great sex, too! Lack of sleep can increase the levels of cortisol in your body while decreasing sex hormones like estrogen and testosterone. This can cause stress, which we’ve already established is not great if you’re trying to boost your sex drive.
      There’s also the simple fact of being too tired. You had a long day a work, came home, cooked dinner, watched an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale, and we’re supposed to still have the energy for sex after that? Not getting the rest you deserve (yes ladies, sleep is a right, not a luxury!) is enough to make any of us go crazy, let alone not want to have sex.
      Try changing your bedding, investing in a new mattress (this is for your health, people!), or rearranging your room to be the ultimate calm oasis you’ve always dreamed of. You could also try a weighted blanket, taking melatonin before bed, or keeping your tech out of the bedroom. (See tip #1!)

      What habits have improved your sex life? How have you implemented these into your routine? Tell us in the comments! More

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      How to Make Your Weekend Special While Staying at Home

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      So it looks like we’re all going to be at home until 2021. I hate to be so dramatic, but that’s how I feel. I miss feeling safe going out to have a meal with my friends, I miss dropping by my favorite coffee shop to chit chat with my favorite barista on a Sunday morning—and I am sure I’m not the only one having these bouts of missing how things used to be before COVID-19 became a part of our lives. But until this public health crisis gets better, we must all do our part to flatten the curve, and that means staying home (if you can). When I settled in with my parents after leaving my apartment (and exorbitant rent) in Los Angeles at the end of March, just as we saw the first peak in cases, I was so enthusiastic about making being home fun. I ordered new books to read, went for walks, and carved out time each day to do a face or hair mask. However, after nearly four months of going from my bedroom to my office (my sister’s room) to the kitchen, that enthusiasm has turned into boredom and sometimes sadness, leading me to this list. I am writing this for all of us that are feeling the weight of this “new normal.” Our weekends may look a lot different, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find new hobbies or things to do besides binge-watching our 100th show on Netflix to lift our spirits. Here are a few ways to make your weekend feel special:

      Source: @petiteelliee

      1. Work on a Puzzle
      I can’t tell you the last time I bought or put together a puzzle. As I searched the net, I realized there were shockingly a variety of options I loved, many of them designed by independent artists. I bought my first puzzle with original artwork by Afro-Latina artist Reyna Noriega on Jiggy. Sites like Jiggy, Piecework Puzzles, and Etsy offer a chance to add a relaxing pastime to your weekend plans (with a glass of wine or a mocktail) while supporting small businesses. 

      2. Take an Online Cooking Class
      At the start of quarantine, Airbnb cooking classes were my weekend ritual. I’d go to Trader Joe’s (with a mask on, of course) shop for my ingredients, and prep for my class. Scheduling these Saturday morning classes gave me something to look forward to, and they were also budget-friendly. I started out doing these classes solo and found that inviting friends based across the globe to join made the experience even more fun.  

      3. Purchase a Cocktail Kit From Your Favorite Restaurant 
      It’s the simple things I miss these days—like my favorite brunch cocktail. In some areas, restaurants are open, but if you feel more comfortable having your favorite drink in the comfort of your own home, reach out to your go-to spot and see if they’re offering take-home cocktail kits. Many of my local favorites are, and I have to say it’s nice to have a little something familiar even if I’m mixing myself. 
      READ: 15 Classic Cocktails to Master at Home

      Source: @waityouneedthis

      4. Go Indoor Camping
      Planning an indoor camping session may sound a little elementary, but who cares? Channel your inner child. Build a fort out of sheets, hang some lights, and make s’mores on the stovetop while watching the new Baby-Sitters Club series on Netflix. We deserve some time off from adulting even if it’s for one night. There are a few essentials you’ll need to build the perfect fort that you already have at home: pillows, sheets, and cozy blankets.  

      5. Tour a Museum Virtually 
      Touring a museum virtually sounded a little boring to me, especially since I was supposed to be in Mexico visiting my friend for a month in June. Visiting the Museo Frida Kahlo was on my Mexico City to-do list, so I tried visiting online. What I found so interesting about my visit was the colors of the artwork and artifacts were so vibrant. I still hope to be able to visit the museum IRL one day soon. 
      Until then, this was a nice way to view the work of one of my favorite artists. Many other museums are offering similar virtual experiences. The Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture is offering video curator chats, the Picasso Museum in Barcelona  is showcasing their permanent collection, and the British Museum in London is offering an interactive experience that provides an in-depth look at key pieces inside the museum. 

      6. Start a Garden Indoors
      Gardening doesn’t necessarily require a green thumb, especially if you start with a small project like an indoor herb garden. There are quite a few kits on the market that make getting started relatively simple. If you’re looking for a kit with everything you need, try the Organic Herb Growing Kit. This kit is also popular among those who want to invest in helping their herbs flourish. 
      READ: How to Start an Herb Garden at Home

      Source: @_harlowejames

      7. Recreate Your Brunch Order
      I am going to be honest: I have tried to do this (more than once) and failed with blueberry pancakes. You might be wondering how anyone could mess up pancakes. Truthfully, I continue to ask the same question. However, I have perfected my bacon, egg, and cheese croissant with a honey drizzle. It’s *chef’s kiss.* Cooking fails happen, but trying to recreate your signature brunch can be fun even if it doesn’t turn out just how you hoped. 

      8. Have a DIY Spa Day
      I know—usually, the purpose of a spa day is to relax, meaning you aren’t the one doing the pampering. Oddly, during quarantine, I have found it relaxing to care for my skin, hair, and nails. Truth be told, my skincare routine usually stops at the places you can see. Over the last few months, I have made it a practice to scrub my body three times a week, deep condition my hair under a bonnet dryer, and manicure my nails (and apply press-ons). You can also try a body scrub and post-shower self-massage with an essential oil scented body butter to help ease your workweek woes. 
      I promise you won’t regret taking extra time for yourself. When you do decide on a weekend spa treatment, invest in products that are good for your skin that pique your senses. I think that is one thing that makes visiting a spa such a sensory experience from the moment you check-in. Lately, I’ve been alternating between smelling like a mango or a lychee fruit. My skin visually says thank you when I make this a weekly practice. 

      Source: @theyusufs

      9. Turn Off Your Phone and Get Outdoors
      You might have anxiety just thinking about disconnecting from technology. We live in a digital world that is pretty addictive that can lead to mindless scrolling and sometimes overindulging in the 24-hour news cycle. We should always be informed, but too much of anything is not good. There has been an uptick in hiking and camping this summer, since they’re a generally safe way to social distance while getting out. The AllTrails app is a great resource if you’re looking for trails nearby or want to go for a long drive. 
      One outdoor option, I’ve personally looked into is Getaway House. I need a little time away from my day-to-day surroundings, and a solo cabin with no WiFi and a lox box for my phone sounded like the perfect fit. I booked a getaway for my upcoming birthday. I’m not the super outdoorsy type, but I am looking forward to emerging myself in nature and taking time to disconnect. The Getaway House has outposts close to 14 major cities and seems to be diligent about ensuring their guest’s and team’s safety. If you’re looking to book in Atlanta, Dallas, Houston, or Portland, they have a deal on Gilt City (that I took advantage of) making booking my cabin even more worthwhile.  More

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      Making These 9 Simple Changes Totally Transformed My Body (and Mind)

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      OK, fine, I’ll say it: I’m a huge nerd. I’m the girl in the office who brings a Ziploc bag of adaptogens and collagen for an afternoon superfood latte, I spend all of my free time researching ancient medical practices, and I’ve recently become a certified health coach out of sheer passion for helping other women get healthier too (#shamelessplug). Call it nerdy or call it extra, but health has always been my thing. However, when it comes to my body, health hasn’t always been so simple.Yes, I love to eat well and have tested lots of expert nutrition advice over the years, but I can’t resist a good truffle mac ‘n’ cheese and I never say no to a glass of red wine. Restriction has never been my forte, which has caused a lot of guilt over the years (after all, wasn’t I the “healthy” girl?). Accidental weight fluctuations came (as they naturally do), through transitioning in and out of college years, and, while I’ve always prided myself on being self-confident, I could never escape the occasional distress over a fat roll or a patch of cellulite.
      Over the past couple of years, my life changed drastically (like moving to Los Angeles), and with it, my body did too. Today, I feel in touch with my body and what it needs. The right changes made my skin clear up, my digestion improve, my confidence skyrocket, and my anxiety decrease. Sound like another “miracle” diet? Think again. After a lot of trial and error throughout my life, these nine changes made the greatest impact on my body (and mind): 

      1. Not labeling foods as “good” or “bad”
      Everything we eat has been predefined by our culture. “Sugar is bad for you,” “Whole30 is good for you,” or “I was so bad last week when I was on vacation” are all phrases you’ve probably heard too many times to count. Putting a moral value on food choices may not seem like a big deal. In fact, maybe you feel like it’s a helpful way to narrow down options (I certainly did!). However, when we put black and white labels on food, what’s meant to nourish us becomes associated with guilt. Plus, the “want-what-we-can’t-have” mentality is not just true for bad boys; it’s true for food too, leading to cravings, binges, and serious regret. 
      I have so many thoughts on labeled eating, but for the sake of not going on and on (because I can), I’ll say this: food is meant to be nourishing, satisfying, and pleasurable. I was over food plaguing my will to live and meals that were more like an internal battle than an act as natural as breathing. Getting rid of labels helped me listen to what my body needed to eat, not what I should or shouldn’t eat. And guess what? I started craving fresh vegetables and whole grains, stopped bingeing on late-night snacks, and was able to feel satisfied after a cookie or one slice of pizza because I listened to my body’s cues. 

      2. Working out less
      Yes, you read that right; working out less transformed my body for the better. Let me explain: I grew up as a competitive dancer (I wish it was as cool as Dance Moms, but I was never even half as good as Maddie Ziegler), which meant I was used to daily, intense exercise. When I went away to college, I attended regular workout classes (thinking it might counteract the limitless cafeteria food or slapping the bag at frat parties, I guess?). Fast-forward to 2020: I have a much better relationship with working out and have been exercising for the mental benefits instead of calorie burn (but more on that below!). However, if I could not make it to an hour-long class one day, I wouldn’t exercise at all, since anything else felt pointless.
      When the stay-at-home order hit and my precious gyms and yoga studios closed, I had limited motivation and a lot of anxiety. As a fix, I got more into restorative yoga and would go through flows for 15, 20, or 30 minutes instead of my usual hour-long classes. My new form of movement did not involve weights, fancy machines, or heart-rate monitors. Instead, I went on more walks, took deep breaths during yoga flows (instead of exasperating myself with intense cardio), and started to think every movement made a difference (rather than thinking it has to be an hour long to be worth it). The difference? I’m stronger than I have ever been because I’m prioritizing consistency over length or even quality, and I’m more intuitive to when and what my body needs. 

      Source: Felicia Lasala for The Everygirl

      3. Realizing that there is no “secret”
      Every season brings a new “weight loss pill,” “magic supplement,” or “miracle diet” that promises to be the cure-all to health woes and weight management. If you feel overwhelmed by what you should and shouldn’t try in the wellness space, that’s not on accident. In order to sell you on limitless products and programs, you have to feel like your health is not in your control. I’ve tried popular diets, regularly tested new supplements, and have always been a follower of the latest workout trend, but what I’ve been missing is the big picture. The truth is that one change won’t transform your body, mind, or life. Instead, it’s a bunch of little habits that build up into greater changes. Also, the body is not a one-size-fits-all pair of socks. What works for one person may not work for you, and vice versa. The only “secret” applicable to everybody is to listen to your body. 

      4. Adding instead of subtracting
      In my humble opinion, the problem with any diet is that it’s focused on what not to eat, which reinstates the labels of “good” and “bad.” One of the greatest changes that made the most difference in my eating habits is learning about food. When I knew about the nutrients and benefits that come from whole foods and plants (rather than just knowing they were “good”), I started seeing food as medicine and fuel, rather than just seeing it as a reward (like when I had an intense craving for mac ‘n’ cheese) or an enemy (like when I felt guilt for bingeing on said mac ‘n’ cheese). Focusing on eating more plants and whole foods has not only helped me feel my best and crave fruits and vegetables, but it has also subconsciously crowded out processed and sugary foods (totally guilt-free!). 

      5. Eating fruit for breakfast
      Pre-transformation Josie was obsessed with protein. I had heard protein was the secret for toning muscles, so of course, breakfast always had to mean eggs or two scoops of the protein powder du jour (relevant side-note: as a lifelong vegetarian, getting enough protein was my downfall anyways). When I started thinking about how to add more produce, I tried eating more fruit in the mornings. After a while, I realized eating fruit surprisingly filled me up without making me lethargic or painfully bloated like I usually felt by noon.
      So I let go of the idea that I needed a protein-heavy breakfast and instead listened to what my body craved: fruit. Some days, I dress up berries and pears with nut butter, coconut shreds, and goji berries like the pillar of health that I strive to be, and other days, I’ll cut up whatever fruits are in my fridge. I’ve never felt so energized, had less digestive issues (which have unfortunately always been a problem for me), and even have fewer cravings throughout the day. The lesson here is not that you should eat fruit for breakfast too. Instead, the lesson is to listen to your body instead of outside opinions. 

      6. Enjoying healthy habits for reasons that have nothing to do with weight loss
      You might be thinking around this point that this article is just a body-positive message, and maybe even a commentary on diet culture, but it’s not a concrete list of ways to reach your body and health goals. But honestly and truly, after years of testing out different diets, workout methods, and “healthy” habits, nothing changed until everything clicked at once. The changes started happening when I was enjoying healthy habits (for both the mind and body), rather than thinking I had to do them in order to look a certain way. This is not woo-hoo self-help advice; being healthy for benefits like mental health and energy is what made the most drastic changes in my body (oh, and it was actually sustainable). 

      7. Drinking more water
      Drinking more water is a tale as old as time, but there’s a reason just about every expert on the planet recommends it. Drinking a big glass of water first thing when waking up, sipping on a reusable straw throughout the day (I’m partial to these pretty gold ones), and having three drinks at a time to achieve optimal hydration (like lemon water and green juice with my coffee), has made a drastic difference in how my body feels. If I start getting hungry too soon after eating, rather than going straight to the pantry to mindlessly snack, I drink a big glass of water. Of course, if I’m still hungry afterward, I’ll eat something nourishing (the body knows what it needs), but more often than not, I’ve realized that a lot of hunger cues are actually thirst. 

      Source: Iron + Honey for The Everygirl

      8. Prioritizing sleep
      Yet another mistake pre-transformation Josie made: every Thursday morning during my senior year of college, I would wake up when it was still dark out and go to a 6am spin class. Yes, even after Wine Wednesday (imagine!). I often abided by the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” mentality, which often meant staying out late while still fitting in a workout when I could (AKA the crack of dawn). It’s not that going to an early morning workout class is bad (it’s not!). But I chose working out over getting enough sleep, thinking it was the better option for me. These days, if I have to choose between a workout and getting 7-8 hours of sleep, you know what I choose? Sleep. Every time. 
      Don’t take my word for it. Even celebrity trainer, Anna Kaiser (who counts Karlie Kloss and Shakira as clients—’nuf said), told The Cut, “If you’ve only been sleeping five or six hours and can either sleep an extra hour or work out, sleep an extra hour. If not, you’re running your body down, which will affect your energy. Working out harder or better or eating less isn’t the answer. It’s about getting enough sleep.” 

      9. Changing what “dream bod” or “goal weight” means to me
      Now for the biggest truth bomb of all: if you’re struggling to reach your health goals, perhaps the problem is not what you are or are not doing, but what your health goals are to begin with. On social media, we’re bombarded with hashtags like #fitspo and #dreambod, and often build health goals around a certain pants size or number on a scale. But those extra five, ten, fifteen, twenty pounds is where life happens. That’s the extra glass of wine with your best friend, the ice cream cone at the beach in the middle of summer, your favorite chocolate cake from the bakery down the road that tastes like the one your mom used to make. Why are we so focused on shrinking these moments, demoting them to be worth nothing more than a pants size or a fat roll?
      Instead, I’m letting my body exist in the healthy space it wants to be in. My “ideal weight” or “ideal body” is the one that yes, I feel most strong, energized, and healthy in, but also that allows me the extra indulgences, fun moments, and enjoyment. Above all, being a health coach has taught me that “health” is not a destination or a final accomplishment. Rather, it’s a tool we can use to help us live our happiest lives. Otherwise, what’s the point?  

      Have you tried any of these tips? More

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      My Name is My Identity: Why Having a Ghanaian Name Means So Much to Me

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      To commemorate the 400 years since enslaved African people departed from West African shores and landed in the United States, Ghana declared 2019 the “Year of Return.” Hundreds of thousands of people from the African diaspora around the world went to Ghana to rebuild a lost past and connect with their roots and ancestry. I heard countless stories of people adopting new Ghanaian names that connected them to their unknown history. There was an electrifying atmosphere and I felt proud to be a Ghanaian with a Ghanaian name. My name is one of royalty and purpose. I own my name; it’s who I am and I’m proud of it. My name is NaaDei, pronounced ‘Naa’ (like in ‘na’tural) and ‘Dei’ (as in ‘day’). These two ordinary syllables have perplexed many for my entire existence, causing much confusion, dismissal, disapproval, and negativity. When I was younger, I didn’t appreciate my name and, if I’m being honest, I wished I had an English, easy-to-pronounce name. Sadly, campaigns like My Name, My Identity didn’t exist in my childhood, so as a consequence, my sister and I literally changed what we called ourselves. That uncomfortable, constant, lengthy, arduous, and repetitious dialogue about my name was so draining that I ended up using an easier “nickname” until my late teens.

      That uncomfortable, constant, lengthy, arduous, and repetitious dialogue about my name was so draining that I ended up using an easier “nickname” until my late teens.

      Unsurprisingly, many people have a similar experience. Whether it’s too ethnic, too different, or too awkward, I know I’m not the only one who has shortened, changed, or abbreviated their name to make it “easier” for others. We change it because we don’t want to constantly reinforce, explain, and justify our identity. I say “we” because this happens far too often in society. Our society is diverse and multicultural, so differences should be expected and accepted. Yes, a name may sound different, but it still deserves enough respect to be pronounced correctly. 
      My most vivid memory in relation to my name is from my university graduation ceremony. The school asked us to write any “unusual” names phonetically on paper to make it easier for the announcer. My name phonetically is ‘Nah–Day Neek-Way’ and this is exactly what I wrote in bold black marker. As I walked up to the podium, I handed the paper over and smiled, as I was about to walk across the stage after four years of hard work. But to my dismay and embarrassment, I heard, and I quote, “Natalie Negwalski!” What? How? I was horrified! I had a million thoughts running through my mind in that millisecond but the loudest one was, “NO, NaaDei, you need to correct her!” And, so I did! Normally I’d let it slide, but not that day. With thousands of onlookers, I politely shook my head and index finger simultaneously, saying NO, please say it correctly! After three attempts, she got it, and I finally walked across the stage feeling an immense sense of pride. 

      Our society is diverse and multicultural, so differences should be expected and accepted. Yes, a name may sound different, but it still deserves enough respect to be pronounced correctly. 

      That was the first time in my life that I wouldn’t accept being called anything else but my exact name. And what made it more empowering was that several strangers of different races approached me after the ceremony either giving me high fives, hugs, or applauding what I had done, because they too knew how I felt. They shared my experience and were happy to see someone stand up unapologetically about something that was different.
      While my name appears to be different, it’s not. The Ga-Dangbe tribe’s cultural norms are based on the family surname, gender, and birth order. The prefix “Naa” signifies respect and royalty and “Dei” is given to all first-born females in my family’s clan. I’m a first-born girl that can be traced back to the Neequayes in Accra from centuries-long ago, and I’m connected to all of this because of my name. These types of rich customs and traditions exist all around the world. Millions of people have different types of names with deep-rooted meanings signifying a meaningful family, culture, or legacy. My identity is part of who I am and my name connects me to my ancestors, and that is not strange.

      Millions of people have different types of names with deep-rooted meanings signifying a meaningful family, culture, or legacy. My identity is part of who I am and my name connects me to my ancestors, and that is not strange.

      I acknowledge that saying new names can be uncomfortable, even for me. However, if you find yourself in that predicament of saying a new name: ask how to say the name correctly, clarify if needed, apologize if you mispronounce it, make an effort to learn from your mistakes, and lastly, don’t make excuses. The old excuse of “I’m sorry, I’m just horrible with names” doesn’t cut it anymore. People should no longer dismiss their identity in an attempt to appease others. Be respectful of the millions of people with “unusual” or “strange” names. It’s not only courteous to pronounce someone’s name correctly, but it shows an effort in creating an inclusive and diverse environment. 
      Your name is arguably the most important thing about you because it’s the one word people use to identify you. It’s part of who you are, and that will always matter! So, to all the women and girls like me with “ethnic,” “different,” or “unique” names I say to you, be proud of your name and where it comes from. And correct them, sis! Correct them—EVERY TIME! More

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      Ace Your Body Goals And Make A Killer Comeback!

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      Have you been struggling to find your groove and stay on track when it comes to eating, living and thinking healthily? Sounds like the effects of spending too much time in the comfort of your home with only your own mind to bounce your thoughts off of. We get the struggle. Life in our new normal can be a positive experience on one day and completely depressing the next – and our eating habits can easily follow the same trend. All in today and all out tomorrow. While practicing self-care means being kind to yourself when you make mistakes, it also means being able to stand your ground when it comes to doing what is best for your body, even when you don’t want to.
      Get on track
      We get that it is hard to stay motivated when the world can seem like a pretty dark place right now, but we also know that a healthy lifestyle can keep your immune system strong and save you from the downward spiral in your mood and wellbeing in general. That is why we’re looking at different programmes that can help keep us motivated and on track…
      iNova Pharmaceuticals’ iLiveLite2Gain plan, is one such programme, made to help you get back into the swing of things by creating a community to keep you accountable and excited about your goal.
      iLiveLite2Gain
      The 12-week programme is designed to help you reach your weight-loss goals by equipping you with expert-led tools and tips to change your life. iLiveLite2Gain takes a holistic approach that incorporates long-term changes to diet and increased physical activity. It also helps with realistic goal-setting, community support and regular weigh-ins to help you stay motived along the journey.
      What you get when you sign up to the iLiveLite2Gain programme:
      12 weeks of nutrition support including expert-designed meal plans, recipes and a food diary
      Tips on increasing activity levels, an exercise programme and an exercise diary designed by a personal trainer
      Regular weigh-ins and a measurement tracker to help you feel a real sense of achievement when reaching your goals
      Tons of tips and motivation through videos from experts such as doctors, dietitians and personal trainers
      Sound like something you’d need to help you get back on track? Visit www.ilivelite.co.za to find out more about what the plan entails, or to sign up!

      READ MORE ON: Sponsored Weight Loss More

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      Beyond Kanye: 6 Things Everyone Should Know About Mental Illness

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      Something is happening with Kanye West, we can all agree on that. Like many, I watched and listened this week as outlets shared video clips and commentary about what that “something” might be. Mental illness? Internalized racism? Publicity stunt? Some combination of these?On Wednesday, July 22, West’s wife, Kim Kardashian West, took to Instagram Stories to address her husband’s mental health. “As many of you know, Kanye has bi-polar disorder. Anyone who has this or has a loved one in their life who does, knows how incredibly complicated and painful it is to understand,” Kardashian West wrote, according to CNN. “I’ve never spoken publicly about how this has affected us at home because I am very protective of our children and Kanye’s right to privacy when it comes to his health. But today, I feel like I should comment on it because off the stigma and misconceptions about mental health.”
      I’m a longtime Kanye fan; I often say playing Never Let Me Down on repeat got me through my last year of college. As a fan, I’ve been shocked and saddened by the course Kanye’s public persona has taken these last few years. Yet, as a mental health advocate, there’s something else I’m seeing that needs to be addressed—a consistent, insidious trend of people who are not mental health professionals publicly speculating on whether or not Kanye is suffering from a mental health crisis. And often (if they don’t believe he is) they’re making statements on their platforms as to why his behavior is not (in their eyes) a result of mental illness.  

      Look, I’m not actually writing this to debate whether or not Kanye is suffering a mental health crisis or, in any way, to condone what I think are dangerous messages he’s sharing. 
      What I am here to say is that we can collectively hold ourselves to a higher standard. Unless someone is a mental health professional or can speak about their own experience, it’s not responsible or humane to make judgements or perpetuate faulty narratives—even if unintentional. To ensure I’m holding myself to this same standard, I even asked my own longtime therapist to review this article before publishing.
      The truth is, like millions of people, I have a close family member that suffers from severe mental illness. For the past 20 years, we’ve experienced far more gut-wrenching lows than fleeting highs in caring for our loved one. Personally, it’s illuminated so many fractures in how—in both government and as a society—we lack important knowledge in two ways: truly understanding the myriad ways psychosis can look on different people, and using that knowledge to honor the humanity in those suffering.
      July is also BIPOC Mental Health month and, as a first-gen Black woman, I can tell you all of this is even more complicated for us as a family of color in America. So much so, that I recently became a member of the mental health board for the county I live in to be an agent of change in my community. 

      So, with that context, here’s what I wish more people knew about mental illness. 

      1. It’s damaging to make public statements about someone’s mental health 
      In 2020, it’s now a more broadly held concept that publicly commenting on someone’s weight is inappropriate, and can be harmful. The same holds true for mental health. Many of us might be unknowingly perpetuating myths on mental health and, by extension, causing additional harm to those affected. Navigating the ongoing journey for mental wellness is already taxing for those directly impacted and for their families, so hearing someone call their ex a “schizo” or “psycho” after an argument, or referring to their own “OCD” as a way to describe being detail-oriented doesn’t help. Neither does making unqualified, public commentary on potential mania or psychosis. It’s a lose/lose. At best, you’re diagnosing without the medical knowledge to do so and fueling ignorance. At worst, you’re causing harm by triggering past or current trauma. 
      This is why it’s best to refrain from making statements about how mental illness can or should look in someone, unless you are speaking from first person experience or are a current mental health professional. 

      2. Being an informed citizen is important 
      It’s surprising how many people move through the world as if this doesn’t affect them just because they may not have an immediate family member living with mental illness. First, I can almost promise you there is someone you love that is impacted in some way, however “mild.” There’s another layer beyond personal responsibility, which is civic duty. 
      Mental wellness—and the lack thereof for so many—impacts every aspect of a society’s overall health. Part of what it means to be an informed citizen and voter is understanding the ripple effect of mental health on everything from our jail system to homelessness to substance abuse to gun violence.

      3. Most often, the family isn’t to blame
      One of the biggest misconceptions around mental health is that the family is accountable for someone’s well-being and safety when, in reality, that is not at all how our system is designed. There have been so many times when friends have asked questions like, “Why can’t the authorities help you?” or “Why don’t you just have them in a long-term facility?” Or worse, that if someone is clearly experiencing homelessness and a mental health crisis, it’s assumed they either have no family or have been abandoned by them. Due to HIPAA guidelines and in an effort to protect the individual rights of those suffering, families’ rights are often non-existent. Let’s give family members a break. Chances are they’re doing their best given the constraints of the law and the ways this is impacting their own mental well-being. Instead of putting the onus on the family to answer what might be complicated and triggering questions, try simply saying, “I can’t imagine how tough this is, and I’m here if you need me.”

      4. Law enforcement shouldn’t be mental health first responders 
      According to an article from the Treatment Advocacy Center, people with an untreated mental illness are 16 times more likely to be killed while interacting with police. While the Black Lives Matter movement has gained momentum in recent months, it’s important to have dialogue on why it’s problematic (and sometimes dangerous) to have law enforcement serve as first responders for mental health crises which, by the way, they don’t have the expertise or bandwidth to do. For example, here’s a scenario that might play out one of two ways in California: a 30-something man has suffered from Schizophrenia for 10 years, and is caught loitering at a store and yelling at other customers. A clerk calls the police.
      Scenario A: The police arrive on the scene, confirm with him he’s not planning to harm himself, and ask him to leave the store. Done and done. This person might need acute care and won’t get it because he’s experienced at answering questions like this and truly does not want to harm anyone. He continues in crisis with no support, and his family does not know where he is since he left their home in a rage weeks earlier. 
      Scenario B: They arrive on the scene, and the man yells (likely as a result of delusions) that he wants to kill eight people. This means police must put the man on an involuntary hold, called a 5150. While in the hospital and forced to take medications, the man stabilizes, and calls his family. The family requests greater support, and maybe even a review for a conservatorship. On the very small chance his doctor agrees, by the time the man is seen by a judge maybe three weeks later, he is not in crisis, has been on medication, and can outline a clear plan for future care (which he may or may not really be committing to—like anyone in that situation, he says what he thinks people want to hear). The judge refuses to review family statements citing she has all the information she needs to make a decision. Case closed and the cycle begins all over again.   
      Can you see how challenging this is? Let me add another layer to it. 
      Given what we’re seeing daily on police brutality, how do you think this statistic plays out for Black and Latinx people suffering from mental health crises? Miles Hall is one tragic example. 

      5. Substance abuse, homelessness, and mental illness are all closely connected 
      Substance abuse and mental illness can be closely linked. Severe mental illness can present like substance abuse AND substances can be used as a means for self-medicating to cope with symptoms of mental illness. According to HelpGuide.org, some statistics from the Journal of the American Medical Association underscore this: 
      Approximately 50 percent of those with severe mental disorders are also impacted by substance abuse. 
      37 percent of those who abuse alcohol and 53 percent of those who abuse drugs also have at least one serious mental health condition. 
      29 percent of those diagnosed with a mental illness abuse either alcohol or drugs. 
      Let’s be conscious of these connected issues, quell judgements surrounding them, and deepen the empathy in our responses. 

      6. Know the ways to get help for yourself or loved ones 
      Finally, if you’re someone who struggles with severe mental illness or loves someone who does, there are ways to get support. One of the most challenging circumstances for some more severe diagnoses like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder is that people can sometimes have little to no insight into their own illness. This makes caring for and protecting these loved ones especially challenging. The single most important tool I’ve learned around this is the LEAP method, created by Dr. Xavier Amador and outlined in his book, I’m Not Sick, I Don’t Need Help. LEAP stands for listen, empathize, agree, partner. 
      You can check out this YouTube video on it, but the primary reason it’s so important is that caretakers often try to talk our loved ones out of whatever they are thinking or feeling, and then we wonder why we aren’t getting anywhere. Imagine if someone were trying to talk you out of your current reality. How would that work for you? LEAP provides a framework for approaching conversations—and honestly, it’s also super helpful in relationships where mental health isn’t even an issue. This can also be a game-changer for mental health professionals or others who regularly come in contact with people who need mental health support services. 
      You can also check out NAMI, or the National Alliance on Mental Illness, for more information and access to services. NAMI has chapters across the country, creates space for families living with this to connect with one another, and have incredibly robust support services. 
      In the meantime, let’s stay open to hearing the experiences of others, and hold silent or supportive space for those who need it most. And if you do one thing this weekend, head over to Amazon Prime Video and watch (or rewatch) The Soloist with the lens outlined here. It’s a beautiful and accurate depiction of how mental illness, homelessness, and family dynamics are interconnected for so many.  More

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      13 Wellness Trends to Try From Home

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      So your barre studio is closed, the local health food store has limited stock, and you’re lacking motivation to cook anything that doesn’t come from a box or the frozen section. Just because this year looks a little different than you thought it would when you made your New Year’s resolutions, it doesn’t mean you can’t still be working towards your health goals and achieving your best self. With scary headlines and a stay-at-home order, 2020 also brought wellness trends less focused on buzzwords and more focused on actual self-care. Here are 13 of them that you can try at home:
      1. A tech detox
      A juice detox is so last year (or, like, 2010… does anybody think foregoing food for multiple days is a good idea anymore?). In 2020, it’s all about the technology detox. Whether this means keeping your phone at the bottom of your beach bag for the entirety of a pool day or turning off Netflix for an afternoon of reading or painting, designate a specific amount of time to go tech-free. Try an entire day every week (yes, Instagram can wait!), or just an hour tech-free before bed. Read a book, sip some tea, and enjoy the freedom of not having your phone as a fifth limb, 24/7. 
      If you find it difficult to designate a specific amount of time to go tech-free, designate a space in your home. Whether it’s your kitchen table, bedroom, or meditation corner, setting tech-free rules for your space helps set expectations and guidelines. A designated tech-free area can help you remember to put away phones during meals or to turn off Netflix before bed.

      Source: @crystalinmarie

      2. Intuitive eating
      Luckily for our fridges (and our sanity), “dieting” is officially a bad word. Rather than labeling foods as “good” or “bad” and driving ourselves crazy with guilt, we’re eating intuitively. That’s right: restrictive diets and calorie counting are canceled. Instead, tune in to your body to feed it what it needs (and when it needs), and don’t worry so much about outside rules, recommendations, and regulations.
      Intuitive eating can help you not only take control of your eating habits, but can help you know your body better and become your healthiest self. When you’re eating, step away from the laptop, turn off the TV, and notice the smells and tastes of the food. Take time to thoroughly chew and enjoy, feeling thankful for the nourishment you’re receiving. Notice how your body is feeling and stop when you’re no longer hungry. 

      3. Body hair (and identifying what’s best for you)
      Emily Ratajkowski sported body hair in a sexy editorial shoot, Miley Cyrus notoriously dyes her armpit hair, and even Vogue ruled the bush is back. For decades, women’s bodies have been expected to be completely hairless everywhere, all over, and all the time. But we are mammals, and more importantly, humans, and humans have body hair. Humans also have different preferences, so while some of us feel best with the smoothness of just-shaved legs and a freshly waxed bikini line, others of us prefer to grow it all out, and that’s OK.
      Whether you feel better with hair, your waxing salon is closed, or you just don’t give a damn (because there are more important things to worry about than leg hair), experiment with what level of body hair makes you feel most confident. If you feel best without hair (or without hair in certain parts and grown out hair in others), check out our guide to removing body hair. And if you’re enjoying the freedom of not having to worry about hair removal and feel sexier or more badass with body hair, then let it rage. 

      Source: @lolaomonaija

      4. Ayurvedic rituals (and other ancient practices)
      OK, let me nerd out for a sec. I have been obsessed with Ayurveda, one of the world’s oldest systems of medicine, since I wrote my college thesis on it (back in the good old days) and even saw an Ayurvedic practitioner. The system was developed over 3,000 years ago in India and is still widely practiced all over the world today. I know I’m a nerd, but how cool is that!? Imagine my delight when ancient rituals like tongue-scraping,  adaptogens, palo santo burning, and oil pulling started to become a part of mainstream media over the past couple of years. Practices that have been around for centuries are officially “trending” in the 2020 wellness space. 
      I love this “trend” because we have so much to learn about our own bodies through looking at practices in other cultures, time periods, and belief systems. To try some of these ancient practices at home, don’t just do it because your favorite wellness blogger says so. Read up on the history, benefits, and beliefs behind each of the rituals; talk about them with your doctor, and be your own guinea pig. 

      5. CBD for relaxation 
      We’ve talked about CBD for your beauty routine and have tried it in everything from candles to sunburn relief. But this year, we’re focused on how CBD can be used to boost relaxation and soothe anxiety (because 2020 is the year of constant anxiety). CBD can be used for many different purposes, but it has a reputation for its calming effects, delivered in easy and accessible ways. Check out our favorite products of all time, and try incorporating the buzziest wellness ingredient into your routine in whatever way is best for you, whether it’s a bath bomb, a lotion, or ingestible drops. 

      Equilibria
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      Source: @jahirka

      6. Period tracking
      Staying at home 24/7 means you’re probably spending a lot more time bingeing Netflix, cleaning out your junk drawer, and teaching yourself more TikTok dances than you care to admit. Why not spend a little of your extra time getting to know your reproductive system better? The latest trend in menstrual health is not just holistic gynecology or non-toxic tampons (although both are great!), but tracking your cycle to find out what foods, workouts, and lifestyle tips are best for your body during each phase.
      To learn more, check out seven things every woman should know about her period and download a period-tracking app like MyFlo that gives you information about each day of your cycle. While we’re on the subject, having a period does not have to be a weakness; besides the fact that we can, you know, grow a freaking human being, women can use period tracking as a biohack to achieve better productivity. That goes for your work-from-home schedule, too. 

      7. Red light therapy
      Dubbed “the fountain of youth” by Glamour Magazine, red light therapy has been popping up everywhere from dermatologist offices to fitness centers. Joanna Vargas, celebrity facialist and Everygirl editor girl-crush, told Shape Magazine, “Red light therapy speeds the healing of the body, reduces inflammation, and helps hydration levels in the skin.” Luckily for 2020, this buzzy wellness trend is not just for expensive spas or wellness retreats. The latest products offer benefits of red light therapy from home (which is good since even wrinkles and low back pain isn’t worth risking your or other people’s safety). Try it for yourself with at-home devices that are more effective and affordable than ever.

      8. A tech-focused approach to fitness
      When you’re not detoxing from tech, technology can actually be used for good. Since going on a run can get boring and going to a yoga studio isn’t possible (or safe), technology has been trending in the fitness world. For regular class-goers, fitness apps and online subscriptions (like Everygirl-favorite, obé fitness) provide an alternative to studios, and equipment like The Mirror and Peloton bike bring the fun of workout classes to the comfort of your home (even if they’re out of my price range).
      Besides just alternatives to classes, technology can help you make the most out of your workouts too. According to the American College of Sports Medicine, technology (such as the Fitbit and Apple Watch) was the most popular form of wearable devices in 2019, and in 2020, they’re being used to motivate and monitor at-home exercise. Look out for virtual reality and even smarter fitness equipment making its way into your at-home fitness routine in the future. 

      Source: @theplussizedprep

      9. Mental health is #1 priority
      The past few months have been a wake-up call for several reasons, but one of the biggest was where we’re not prioritizing mental health. Self-care has been trending for years when it comes to face masks and bubble baths, but this year, sh*t got real, and we were all forced to prioritize self-care in the ways that are best for us and will actually help us feel better. Maybe you’ve taken action by prioritizing yourself or booking a session with a therapist, or maybe you’re still struggling like many of us are.
      Staying safe at home doesn’t have to be an excuse for not getting the help you need; many therapists are offering sessions over Zoom, and apps like Talkspace are revolutionizing virtual therapy. Check out resources to find a therapist for you, like BetterHelp, Dr. on Demand, and Therapy for Black Girls, or ask your therapist to schedule a virtual session. Besides getting honest about what you need to soothe stress and anxiety, bring your mental health into everything you do: perfect work-life balance, eat mindfully, and work out to release stress instead of burning calories. 

      10. Beauty that’s good for you (and the earth)
      Health is no longer just about what you put in your body, but also what you put on it. Not only are more non-toxic skincare and makeup brands popping up in the beauty space, but the brands we’ve been shopping for years are adding cleaner options to their offerings (clean beauty is the way of the future). The biggest benefit is that beauty products are not only stopping the use of harmful ingredients, but replacing with natural ingredients that are good for your skin and hair (like a concealer or lipstick with hydrating jojoba oil). Bonus: it’s much better for the earth too.
      To begin your quest towards a cleaner beauty routine, check out clean brands we love, read up on 10 experts’ clean beauty hacks, and shop our favorite non-toxic sunscreens. If it feels overwhelming to go totally clean, try replacing each product you run out of with a non-toxic, sustainable, and ethically-sourced alternative. Bonus points for buying from a small business! 

      Source: @missenocha

      11. Prioritizing pleasure
      2020 is the year of the “pleasure revolution,” and we could not be more excited about it (literally). Female sexuality is no longer a taboo subject; it’s self-care. To prioritize your sexuality, educate yourself, take time to experiment, and read our ultimate self-isolation guide to masturbation. Oh, and pleasure is not just reserved for the bedroom; it’s about living your life more pleasurably. Start by basing decisions off of what would bring you more pleasure (like a warm bath versus a cold shower, or a slow yoga flow versus a sweaty dance workout). Also, take extra time to pamper yourself (turn on a playlist and dry brush or massage in body oil), and don’t forget to check yourself out in the mirror (because you know you look good). 

      12. Biohacking your water
      Kool-Aid is so last decade. This summer, wellness influencers and health experts are making the most of their drink of choice (AKA some good old-fashioned water) with add-ins that are packed with nutrients. Turn any glass of water or reusable bottle (#ecofriendly) into a refreshing drink that not only hydrates you, but fills your body with antioxidants, electrolytes, or vitamins. Just watch out for high-sugar content and make sure the ingredients are as clean and natural as possible. PS check out newcomer Tandem, which uses ingredients like beetroot, turmeric, and ginger. Now that’s my kind of summer drink! 

      13. Inclusivity in wellness
      A necessary change in the wellness industry is way overdue, and it’s time all of us do what we can to promote more diversity in the health and wellness space. Practice inclusivity at home by educating yourself, supporting businesses that promote diversity (yes, that goes for your local yoga studio and favorite athleticwear brand), purchasing Black-owned brands, following Women of Color who are nutritionists, influencers, and wellness experts on social media; and supporting, donating, and attending resources for/from Women of Color (like Loom, Brown Girl Self-Care, The Loveland Foundation, and Dive in Well). 

      What wellness trends are you trying at home? More

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      Get A 5-Star Hotel Sleep At Home With These Simple Tips

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      A couple weeks before lockdown, I spent a night at The Westin Cape Town to experience their World Sleep Day package. The Westin is a five-star hotel located right next to the Cape Town International Convention Centre and a two-minute walk from those iconic Foreshore high-rises. Many guests are in town for meetings and conferences where they’ll need to be on top of their game. So the Westin takes sleep very seriously. They celebrated World Sleep Day like it was a holiday, right down to reception staff in nightgowns. It was hilarious. Until four-months into SA’s 21-day lockdown when all I could think about was that glorious hotel sleep and why I didn’t treasure it more at the time. Fortunately, it is possible to simulate the experience at home. Use these tips to (finally) get a good night’s sleep during lockdown.
      READ MORE: This Is The Effect Lockdown Is Having On Your Sleep, According To New Studies
      1/ Start with your bed…
      One of the reasons a hotel sleep is so blissful is the bed. The Westin hotel chain has its own signature bed (The Heavenly® Bed) that’s been specially designed to promote deep, restful sleep – from the supportive, padded mattress with its individual pocket springs to the high-thread-count linen. Like I said, they take sleep very seriously. Assuming you don’t have €3 000 to shell out on your own Heavenly® Bed, upgrade your existing one with bedding. Use a fitted sheet that fits your mattress well and won’t come loose. Similarly, your duvet cover should fit your duvet well. If you can’t afford to splurge on a new mattress, splurge on a pillow that offers good support.
      READ MORE: This Might Just Be The Best Type Of Pillow For Every Sleeper
      2/ Set The Temperature For Sleep
      To ensure a good night’s sleep, the room should be a little on the chilly side. Even in winter. This prevents you from overheating during the night, causing you to sweat and toss and turn, which disturbs your slumber. At a hotel you can simply set the air con (I usually opt for a cool 18 degrees). If you don’t have an air con at home, mimic a climate-controlled hotel sleep by cracking the window open slightly. You want it just wide enough for that wintery air to cool the room, but not so wide that it feels like you’re sleeping in a fridge! While you’re at it, make sure your room is properly dark. Light signals your body to wake up and we don’t want that. So you chose your curtains for aesthetic appeal rather than blackout capability? Get a soft, comfy sleep mask.

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      3/ Scent Of Dreams
      At The Westin we got little bottles of lavender oil in the room. Lavender has long been used to promote sleep and relaxation and a number of small studies suggest there could be some truth to this old home remedy. In any case, drifting off to the sweet smell of lavender makes you feel like you’re experiencing an indulgent hotel sleep rather than just a regular Saturday in your own creaky bed.

      Lavender In Lavender Hill Essential Oil
      R 75
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      4/Restful Eating
      Ever had a really heavy meal right before bed and struggled to sleep? Or woken up with meat sweats? Not pretty. And, yes, I’ve totally been there. Instead, eat a light supper made with ingredients that promote sleep. Dairy products contain tryptophan, an amino acid that your body uses to help make the hormone melatonin and the brain chemical serotonin, both of which promote sleep and relaxation. If, like me, you have a problem with dairy, other sources of tryptophan include nuts, seeds, honey and eggs. I ordered a cheeseless omelette off the sleep section of the Westin’s room service menu. Yes, for supper. Yes, it was delicious. And I had a five-star hotel sleep that night.
      READ MORE: The 10 Best Sleep Apps To Help You Fall Asleep Faster And Sleep Through The Night
      5/ Start Early
      A good sleep starts before bedtime. You want to lay off the caffeine (the Westin provided chamomile tea) and limit alcohol. I failed on that count. My hotel sleep experience might have been even better had I not climbed into that delicious bottle of red wine in the mini bar. In lieu of a hotel spa treatment, treat yourself to a hot bath or shower just before bed. Cooling down afterwards mimics how your body temperature drops as you fall asleep and helps signal your body to nod off.
      READ MORE: Beginner Yoga Poses To Help You Sleep Better.
      If your mind is racing, try doing a mindfulness exercise to ground you in the moment and clear those racing thoughts: try a guided meditation app like Headspace or do a gentle, restorative yoga practice, focusing on your breath.

      READ MORE ON: Health Health Advice Sleep More