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      10 Ways to Orgasm That You Haven’t Thought Of, According to Sex Therapists

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      It’s centuries too late if you ask me, but our culture is finally starting to embrace the female orgasm and acknowledge the fact that women feel, want, and need pleasure too (shocking!). Scientists are researching determinants of female orgasms, women are singing about feelin’ themselves, and people wouldn’t bat an eye if Sally pulled her orgasm-in-public performance in 2020 (well, maybe they would, but you get the point).All of this is amazing progress for long-overdue gender equality (and we still have a lot of work left to achieve it), but all this “O” talk can put pressure on women to reach an orgasm, whether they’ve never had one, can only have one by themselves, or only know one way to have one (news flash: there are lots of ways). So for the betterment of your sex life (and because pleasure is your human right), here are 10 ways to orgasm that you might not have thought of, according to sex therapists and experts.

      1. Indulge in other self-care practices 
      Megwyn White, a certified clinical sexologist and director of education at Satisfyer, suggested practices like dry brushing and scalp massage to increase sexuality and pleasure. “Dry brushing is a great way to stimulate circulation and detox the skin,” White said. “You’ll feel refreshed, and your tissues will feel soft and satiated. It’s a great self-care practice that can add a sensual start or end to your day. Likewise, giving yourself a scalp treatment at home with essential oils can reduce stress and activate your senses. You’ll feel refreshed, invigorated, and sexier.” Bottom line: find the indulgent practices that connect your mind with your body and stimulate the senses. You’ll feel heightened awareness that can translate into more sexual pleasure (and the chance to check out yo’ bad self in the mirror will be an added sexy bonus). 

      2. Explore blended orgasms
      Here’s the good news: from clitoral orgasms to nipple orgasms, there’s no shortage of orgasms to be had. And better yet, they don’t necessarily have to be independent of one another. A blended orgasm is two (or more) simultaneous orgasms, resulting in an intense, full-body response. While this may sound difficult and you may be thinking great, even more pressure in the climax department, know that our bodies are meant to experience multiple different sensations.
      “If you stimulate multiple regions, you create more intense sensations, and multiple nerves communicate the sensation of pleasure at the same time,” said Dr. Jess O’Reilly, founder of Sex With Dr. Jess and Astroglide’s resident sexologist. For example, the vagus nerve is believed to communicate signals from the cervix, uterus, and vagina, bypassing the spinal cord. Crazy, right!? Bottom line: there’s more to your sexuality than just the vagina. Explore, experiment, and try multiple different forms of pleasure at once. 

      3. Get creative juices flowing
      That’s right: that pottery class you took in college could have been increasing your chance to orgasm. “Sexual energy and artistic expression are not mutually exclusive,” White said. “Creativity will naturally stir the pot of your sexual nature and also invite you to think out of the box and invite new experiences into your world.” No matter if your favorite form of creativity is singing, dancing, painting, or scrapbooking, it doesn’t necessarily have to be erotic to help boost your pleasure when it comes to sex.
      Being creative in whatever way feels expressive and enjoyable to you can tap into your sexual energy, but will also get you into a creative and open mindset that will encourage you to try new things (see #6 below). You can tell your significant other we told you to sign up for that painting class or dance lesson (and I’m sure when they know the benefits, they’ll want to join too). 

      4. Talk about sex
      Looks like Salt-N-Pepa were onto something! Kamil Lewis, AMFT, believes getting comfortable talking about sex outside of the bedroom can help encourage a healthy sex life. “Talking about sex with friends is a great way to normalize sex and provides a space to ask questions and hear about other experiences,” Lewis said. “The more comfortable you feel talking about sex, the more empowered you will feel when it’s time to get into it.”
      Yes, it’s important to have a support system outside of your relationship or sexual partner (Sex-and-the-City style) to talk openly about sex and normalize a lot of the subjects that have been taboo for far too long. But it’s equally just as important to communicate openly and honestly with your sexual partner, whether you’re in a committed relationship or not. “Give yourself permission to talk with your partner or partners about orgasms,” Lewis said. “If this is something you want to change in your relationship, it’s important to bring it up.”

      5. Build sensuality outside of the bedroom
      Sexuality is an equal mix of physical and mental. It’s not going to immediately switch on when you walk into the bedroom, nor is it reserved for the bedroom. Hani Avital, clinical sexologist and sensuality expert, said it best to S Life Magazine, “Sexuality is our life force. The more we cultivate that energy in everything we do, the more alive we will feel. Period.” Remember that your sexuality is powerful and life-giving, not shameful. Build sensuality in your day-to-day life by indulging in self-care that feels good (like massaging in body oil after your shower or taking a decadent bath) and making decisions based on what would feel more pleasurable for you. 
      Not only will this help you feel more vibrant in your day-to-day life, but it might also help you experience more pleasure in the bedroom. Lewis recommended using mindful moments throughout the day, like paying attention to the temperature of the water in your shower or the smells of your food, to feel more connected to your body and improve sexual connection. Dr. O’Reilly agreed. “You are not a light switch. You likely can’t transition from talking about your kids and taxes to indulging in sexual pleasure and orgasm,” she said. “Take time to indulge in all things pleasurable throughout the day to cultivate more presence in your body and remind yourself that pleasure is your birthright.” 

      6. Try new things
      If you’re not reaching climax, it might be because whatever you’re doing is not working. Even if you are orgasming but are hesitant to try something new, you could be missing out on an even more intense and enjoyable climax. Dr. O’Reilly recommended getting creative with sex toys and lube, which are both associated with heightened pleasure and orgasmic response.
      Mia Sabat, the sex therapist at Emjoy, agreed that trying new things is important. “You don’t know what’s going to get you going until you try,” Sabat said. “Sometimes, we forget that there’s more to our body than our vulva, and we’re surprised to see how much a specific place or type of stimulation can help us reach our orgasm end-goal.” Bottom line: try new things, whether it’s positions, toys, body parts, or even the routine, for the sake of enjoyment and getting to know your body better. An orgasm will just be a welcomed bonus. 

      7. Make masturbation a part of your self-care routine
      So you already know that masturbation can help you orgasm, but it might not be easy to reach climax if you only think of the ménage à moi as a must-do when you’re in between partners (thank you, quarantine). Exploring your own sexuality and pleasure should be just as much a part of your self-care routine as a face mask or a bubble bath (and, FYI, can be done simultaneously with both!). “Stop thinking about masturbation as a dirty little secret. It’s a perfectly healthy thing to do, with a myriad of health benefits. It can be used to ease pain, boost your mood, and even help with period cramps,” Sabat said. “By framing masturbation as part of your self-care routine, you can explore your body with comfort and confidence instead of something to feel embarrassed about.” 

      8. Fantasize
      Dr. O’Reilly calls the brain the most powerful sex organ, and for good reason. Remember how sexuality is a mix of physical and mental? The physical component might be stimulated, but the mental component needs to be stimulated too in order to achieve mind-blowing pleasure. Fantasizing can help you explore your sexuality and find different ways to feel pleasure, rather than getting caught up in achieving an orgasm and the dreaded performance anxiety.
      Luckily for us, there are multiple ways to fantasize besides imagining shirtless Ryan Gosling or watching Rihanna’s “Pour it Up” music video (though both are great if they do it for you!). “There are many ways you can stimulate the brain, like listening to erotica, engaging with pornography created for a female audience, or simply taking the time to gently let your mind and body ease into a sexual state through sensual massages, candlelit baths, or self-pleasure,” Sabat said. 

      9. Don’t over-hype the climax
      OK, back to that pressure to orgasm. Yes, there is a huge orgasm gap, and yes, you deserve to orgasm as often as you want every single time. But we often hype up the climax so much (I mean, it is called “the climax”) that so many women struggle to get there because of the pressure to achieve it. We look at our ability to orgasm to determine whether it was “good sex” or even whether or not we’re “normal.” Here’s the truth: it’s good sex if it felt good, and anything is normal if it’s normal for you. Instead of focusing on the end-goal, focus on the pleasure you feel before and during sex. Not only will it be more pleasurable overall, but you might be more likely to orgasm. The destination is better when you enjoyed the journey, right?
      In fact, Gigi Engle, certified sexologist and award-winning author, suggested delaying orgasming instead of focusing on achieving it. She said, “Slowly bring yourself closer and closer, but hold back before going over the edge. When you become aroused and then let it go, the energy is recycled, waiting just under the surface to be ignited once again. If you keep building towards a finale, the endgame will be unreal.”

      10. Romance yourself
      No, this is not some cheesy self-love advice; it’s truly the most effective way to increase pleasure, sensuality, and orgasms, whether you’re solo-sexing or with a partner. When we take time to make ourselves feel special like we would a romantic partner, we increase confidence, comfortability, and just feel hotter; to quote my queen Lizzo, “No, I’m not a snack at all. Look, baby, I’m the whole damn meal.” FYI, Lizzo definitely knows how to romance herself. No matter your relationship status, we can all afford a little more self-romance.
      “Even if you’re going solo, it doesn’t mean that you have to skip the romance,” Sabat said. “Don’t be afraid to light some candles, put on some perfume, and dim the lights to set the mood. This is your own personal adventure and something to enjoy, not rush. Don’t rush it or sell yourself short; this is about treating yourself in exactly the way you want to be treated, and you deserve the best.” As Lizzo would say: “‘Scuse me while I feel myself.”  More

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      I Washed My Face With Only Honey for Two Weeks

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      Hey guys, Josie here. I know I already have the infamous reputation of the crazy Will-Try-Anything-For-Good-Skin Lady, but hear me out on this one…Your favorite natural sweetener and Prince Charles’s favorite tea add-in is actually the secret to the skin of your dreams. That’s right, honey is truly the Taylor Swift of the beauty world — it’s been around forever, and, though there’s been some controversy, it remains the queen of DIY face masks and soothing body lotions (okay so that’s not really Taylor Swift related, but you get where I was going with that analogy, right?).
      Note: not all the sweet stuff on the shelves has the same outcome. Stick to Manuka honey or raw honey — the other stuff (including the cute teddy bear shaped bottle) has loads of added sugar (which will clog pores and lead to breakouts) and less antioxidants. But when you stick to the natural stuff, it’s a game changer. Read on to find out about my experience washing my face with nothing but honey for two weeks.

      Benefits of Honey on the Skin
      It has antibacterial and anti-septic properties, so it gets rid of dirt and bacteria, perfect for both preventing and treating acne
      It’s full of antioxidants and boosts collagen production—two things that are MVPs in preventing aging and boosting glow
      It’s extremely moisturizing and hydrates even the driest of skin.
      Honey is naturally soothing and has healing properties (it was traditionally used on wounds to aid healing!). It also nourishes damaged skin to fade scars (like those pesky acne scars!).
      It works as a clarifying agent because it naturally opens up pores, making them easier to unclog.
      The enzymes work as a gentle exfoliator, sloughing off dead skin cells and leaving you with a radiant complexion.

      My Experience
      So I’ve never had troubled skin per se, but I’ve always been on a constant journey for the glowiest, clearest skin ever (because we all should be dreaming big, right!?). Hormonal acne, pesky blackheads, and dark under eye circles have been the extent of my problems. That is, until this year — as Chicago’s brutal winter arrived, so did the worst skin woes I’ve EVER experienced (not to be dramatic…). It started when I woke up with severely itchy skin, which I innocently blamed on the changing weather. It then became red bumps all over my face, and a puffiness that was definitely not normal.
      I knew it must be an allergic reaction, and, after talking to my dermatologist, got a prescription to keep the inflammation down. It momentarily helped, but the bumps, itchiness, and puffiness still came back every week or so. The worst part was I could not figure out what was causing it — I changed pillowcases, stuck to oils instead of retinoids in my nighttime skincare, and used sensitive wash instead of standard. And still, despite all my efforts and tears, it kept coming back like a Disney Channel theme song that gets stuck in your head. This was my Everest.
      I decided I needed a massive lifestyle change. As someone who believes natural is always better (unless it’s Oreos or Kim Kardashian), I wanted to get rid of everything that might be harmful to skin — which included my trusty face wash. Even the supersensitive replacement I’d been using didn’t count as “natural.” So what could I replace it with? Enter: honey. I’d actually heard a lot of buzz (pun intended) about the stuff made by bees and its benefits for the skin. Face wash had been my security blanket for so long that it felt like a ginormous leap of faith to go without it, but I was excited to test out something so drastic (read: would try anything for good skin).

      I planned to simply splash my face with cool water in the morning, and wash with honey at night. I also used Summer Fridays as an overnight mask (also natural) and massaged it in with a Clarisonic for extra hydration. The honey cleanup was way easier than I thought it would be. Raw honey is much thicker than the regular kind, which made it easy to spread on my skin. I rubbed it in for about a minute, and then kept it on like a mask for another minute or two as I got ready for bed. The first time, I was ready with a roll of paper towels and backup face wash, but with just a splash of water, the honey melted away and washed off like a piece of honeycomb cake.
      The only change up was when I wore makeup — the honey wasn’t enough to take off all mascara and eyebrow gel galore, so I opted for a natural cleansing oil as the first step, followed by the honey. Two weeks and a jar of honey later — my skin has NEVER. BEEN. BETTER. I repeat — I HAVE ALMOST ACHIEVED SKINCARE NIRVANA.

      Let me break it down: the honey did not clog my pores or cause acne as I had worried. I’ve actually remained fairly clear-skinned with a few smaller zits popping up here and there, but not as many as I normally would during a period week, especially, which was a #miracle. But the biggest shock of all… after washing with honey, the pesky, horrible, seemingly permanent blackheads I’ve struggled with on my nose FOR. FREAKING. EVER. popped out so easily, just like that! (not to be graphic)
      Overall, my skin just looks more even-toned, glows, and has actually survived winter, dryness-free. *Knock on wood* but my red bumpiness and itchy skin has not come back since I started washing with honey. To be clear, I don’t think using face wash was the problem. I just think honey is that good that it helped heal and soothe my poor, sad skin. Plus, it came with a lot of other perks too. It truly was a miracle product, and to be totally transparent, I don’t think I’ll ever go back to standard face wash again. Not all heroes wear capes — sometimes, they come in a jar.

      Would you try washing your face with honey? Tell us in the comments below.

      This article was originally published on January 2, 2019. More

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      Why I Talk About Feminism on First Dates

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      “I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to meet someone,” I said to my friends one day. But one of my friends quickly told me exactly why: it was because I expected too much from men. I even expected them to be feminists.I was immediately disheartened when I heard that she thought this was a lot to ask. I don’t expect the men I date to wear “women’s rights are human rights” T-shirts or have a PhD in gender studies. I don’t even expect them to identify as feminists, because it’s just a label and doesn’t carry much weight—I’ve met sexist men who call themselves “feminists.” But I do expect them to believe in gender equality, and I don’t think that’s too much to ask.
      Still, her comment got to me, and for a period of time, I was less outspoken about my beliefs, at least on first dates. It didn’t take me long to realize that holding these views back didn’t make dating any easier for me—in fact, it made it even more difficult. There are several reasons why I continue to talk about feminism on first dates.

      1. Gender equality should not be a radical idea. 
      I get that talking about politics, religion, or social justice issues on a first date could be perceived as intense. At the same time, gender equality should not be a radical idea. If I’m out with someone who is offended or discomforted by the idea that all genders are equal, that’s a red flag. 

      2. I don’t want to be several months in and find out that he harbors sexist views. 
      Speaking of red flags, I’d rather identify them early on than be several months into a relationship only to find out that my partner and I have opposing fundamental beliefs. Gender equality is not something minor to me. There are some things that I’m willing to agree to disagree about, and this is not one of them. The kinds of beliefs someone has about gender tells me a lot about their expectations for our relationship. During the time that I was avoiding talking about feminism on first dates, I still talked about politics and assumed that a guy I went out with was compatible with me because he was anti-racist and fairly left-wing. I only later found out that in addition to being mostly liberal, he’s also anti-abortion and is a strong proponent of traditional gender roles. Because I had already spent a bit of time getting to know him and I liked other things about him, I tried to make it work, but we argued on a regular basis, and I would never be the “good wife” he was truly looking for (and I didn’t want to be). If I’m dating a sexist man, I will find out eventually. Why wait until I’m already in deep? 

      3. I’m not scared of scaring someone away.
      We’ve heard it time and time again: don’t talk about religion or politics on the first date. But from my perspective, everything is political in some way. To avoid all political discussions is to have a pretty shallow conversation. I’m not dating to talk about the weather. I’m dating to truly get to know someone. During the time that I stopped talking about gender issues on first dates, I felt as if I was hiding part of myself. It’s not that my first dates are a two-hour long gender studies lecture; usually, gender issues come up organically because they’re connected to something else we’re talking about. If not, it’s natural for me to mention gender issues when someone asks about my passions or interests. Talking about feminist issues might scare some people away, but if I scare sexist guys away, I’m doing exactly what I want to do: filtering out people I’m not compatible with. 

      4. I want him to like me for who I am.
      When I had my first childhood crush, I actively tried to be the kind of girl I thought he would like. I was a proper chameleon, buying a jacket with his favorite football team’s logo on it, and adapting myself according to his interests. But I’ve lived and learned, and I’m not dating to stroke someone’s ego or to change myself until they finally accept me. I want to date someone who I truly like, and I want to date someone who truly likes me—not the idea of me or an altered, watered-down version of me. I once went out with a man who stopped me mid-sentence when I started talking about gender issues. “I don’t want to hear about this,” he said. “I want to hear about you.” Maybe he thought he was being romantic in a way, but he didn’t realize that they’re one in the same. I’m passionate about gender issues, and it’s part of who I am, not a separate entity. If a man doesn’t believe in gender equality, he’s not going to like me for who I am. It’s that simple. I now realize that the kind of man I want to date is one who is willing to engage in these conversations. 

      5. I can learn more about who this person truly is. 
      I don’t expect anyone to be perfect. I don’t expect a person I’m dating to know everything about gender issues (I don’t either, of course), or to fully understand something that he hasn’t experienced firsthand. But I do expect him to be open to listening. I do expect him to not be defensive. Talking about issues like this shows me how he reacts when faced with something uncomfortable or challenging. Is he just defensive when I’m simply having a discussion and not trying to argue, or does he want to know more? I once went out with a guy who said he didn’t believe some survivors of sexual assault because they reported it years after it happened. Extreme red flags aside, I tried to talk to him about why women might wait to come forward about sexual assault. As I was talking, he got up to add more sugar to his coffee and asked to change the subject once he returned. That told me exactly how he liked his version of reality: sugar-coated and easy to swallow. 

      6. I don’t want to tolerate sexist behavior anymore. 
      Gone are the days in which I would ignore casual and benevolent sexism because it “could be worse.” I’m willing to give second chances. People can change, especially if they didn’t recognize that the way they were thinking was sexist. But if he just doesn’t really care about sexism, thinks it’s not a big deal or says something along the lines of, “Well, that’s just the way things are,” I’m not here for that. Benevolent sexism is still sexism, and I don’t want it in my relationships. I want an equal partnership. Unfortunately, maybe that’s a lot to ask from a heterosexual relationship at this point in time. But I’m going to keep asking.  More

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      50 Quick and Easy Tips for the Best Sex of Your Life

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      It’s become a bit of a pick-up-line in my life to say I’m a sex writer. What can I say, it really intrigues people to tell them on a first date that you spent your day writing about vibrators and anal sex. But I can’t take all the credit all the time: some of the best sex tips I’ve ever learned have come from our editors, from my favorite app for ethical porn for women to the powers of scheduling sex. So I tapped into my sexy senses, as well as my network, for the best quick sex tips anyone could use. Have a partner? We have some for you, but we also didn’t forget our single friends out there too. Regardless of your relationship status, you can and should have good sex. These are just a few (give or take 45) tips to help along the way.
      Applicable for partner-sex, masturbating, sexting, and everything in between: 
      1. Read up on the erogenous zones: inner thighs, ears, neck, small of the back, the toes, etc. 
      2. Don’t yuck anyone’s yum: you might be surprised when a partner tells you a kink or fantasy, but talk it out, think about it, and engage if you feel comfortable. It might just become yours too!
      3. Treat yourself to some fancy lube (we love this one—and you can discreetly add it to your next Sephora order!)
      4. Buy yourself some lingerie that YOU love to feel sexy and confident
      5. Read Literotica for sexy stories! They have every kind you can imagine and more
      6. Make a sexy song playlist with your partner to get in the mood every time
      7. If you’re a parent or have roommates, lock the door! 
      8. Take sexy pics just to feel good about yourself
      9. Lay a towel down to make clean-up and post-sex much easier
      10. Fill your social media with accounts/images/videos you find hot (anyone who follows Harry Styles on Instagram knows that it doesn’t have to be porn to be sexy!)
      11. Add a pillow under your hips. Small change, big difference!
      12. Don’t panic if shower sex wasn’t as sexy as it looks in movies. Try post-shower sex instead!
      13. Watch a non-sexual show or movie to get you in the mood
      14. Read a steamy novel before a date or instead of bingeing Netflix during your solo night in
      15. Focus on consistent pleasure over a climax (and a climax will come!)
      16. Explore new kinks and fetishes
      17. Have sex on your period—seriously.
      18. Focus on the foreplay
      19. Explore audio erotica to get in the mood—this is a favorite app amongst our editors!

      With A Partner
      20. Talk about what you like with a partner BEFORE sex
      21. Try a move you’ve seen in a movie or a show you’ve watched together
      22. Touch yourself during sex—hot for them, feels amazing for you!
      23. Talk about your highlight from a nighttime session the next morning
      24. Send quick, dirty texts throughout the day to help with foreplay and to get you right in the mood if you only have time for a quickie
      25. If you’re in a long-term relationship, make-out like teenagers to bring you back to all those angsty years
      26. Make a code-word for sex, i.e. “I’m excited to go home and make our own cocktails” might mean, “Take me home and ravage me ASAP” 
      27. Try mutual masturbation
      28. Make eye contact during sex when you can
      29. Don’t discount a quickie—sometimes it’s more about the physical connection than mind-blowing sex
      30. Speak up if something hurts, and speak up if something feels amazing
      31. Start foreplay out of the bedroom: a kiss at dinner, a sexy text during the workday
      32. What happens after sex is important too—check-in with yourself and/or your partner, identify how your body feels, go through proper hygiene, etc.
      33. Don’t be afraid to initiate
      34. Have sex in front of a mirror
      35. Try nipple massage! Hint: you can actually have an orgasm through nipple-play alone
      36. Send your partner examples of what you want them to do in the bedroom
      37. Communicate what feels good—but also ask your partner what is feeling good for them!
      38. Try a new oral sex position
      39. Try ribbed condoms
      40. Focus on non-sexual touch to create intimacy outside of the bedroom (which will cause even more intimacy during sex too!)

      Alone
      41. Make a point to plug in and charge your vibe in the morning—it ensures you have it fully charged that night and is also a lil’ sexy reminder to yourself throughout the day that you’re able to pleasure yourself that night
      42. Try masturbating at different times in the day: on your lunch break, right after work, before the gym, after the gym, etc. 
      43. If your toy is waterproof, run it under hot or cold water before using it
      44. Try stimulating multiple areas at once: using a vibrator on your clitoris while fingers are inside you, stimulating the vagina and the anus at the same time, combining touching an erogenous zone with clitoral stimulation, etc. 
      45. Take yourself on a date—you’ll be surprised how sexy you’ll feel after spending some time with yourself
      46. Try a new masturbating position: doggy style, cowgirl, and a hip-bridge are good places to start
      47. Buy this vibrator and thank us later
      48. Close the windows and the blinds, maybe turn on some music or a show, and get really vocal. 
      49. If you’re trying to have a clitoral orgasm, focus your attention on different parts of the clitoris to see which feels better. Try placing your vibrator vertically and horizontally, pinch it with two fingers and rub them together, try making circles and up-and-down motions. 
      50. Schedule it: make time in your day to feel good, even if it’s just for you! More

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      Fitness Classes Are So Different When You’re the Biggest Girl in the Room

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      I’m a pretty social person. I enjoy being around a group of people and I would rather go to a group boot camp than have a personal face-off with a treadmill any day of the week. I’m comforted by going to group classes because I feed off good energy and love to be around people who are working just as hard I am to achieve their goals, but I won’t lie like there aren’t anxious thoughts running through my mind before I go to a group fitness class. I often think to myself: Do fat people even take this class? Am I too out of shape to even be in here—like is there a prerequisite to this one? Will I be able to keep up? Who is the instructor?So many anxious, intrusive thoughts run through my mind because my “otherness” will be apparent as soon as I enter the door. I righteously assume I’ll be the largest person in class. I’m 5’8″ and 340 lbs with a wide set of hips and a very big butt. Listen, I’m used to taking up space, but I’m not used to being comfortable in spaces that treat me as “other” instead of included.   

      Being the fat girl in the fitness class feels a lot like when Regina George told the group sweatpants were all that fit her and Gretchen Weiners yelled out, “YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US!” It feels isolating and unwelcoming if the class environment isn’t intentionally inclusive. (The keyword here is intentionally.) It’s not enough to allow fat bodies, disabled bodies, or out-of-shape bodies access to fitness space without also considering how those bodies will be able to successfully function within the space.
      Though accessibility to fitness spaces is an issue, it’s important to think about whether or not the infrastructure or the culture of the fitness space proactively and intentionally supports those who aren’t “fit” or as able-bodied as others. Inviting large, disabled, or out-of-shape people into a space without any practices or systems in place to work with them is flat-out cruel if the class or the instructor lacks the tools, expertise, and proper attitude to accommodate larger-bodied people. Have you ever been the one under or overdressed at a dinner party? Have you ever showed up somewhere and you were the only one who didn’t know anyone else? It feels awkward and embarrassing, so instead of enjoying the scene, your only thought is how quickly you can make a beeline out of there without being too noticeable. That’s what being the largest person feels like. 

      I recognize that more often than not bodies like mine aren’t widely represented in group classes or fitness centers at all. No biggie. That doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is how thin spaces respond to, or worse, completely ignore, the “elephant in the room.” The elephant being many fitness instructors’ inexperience, ignorance to the fact, inability, or flat-out refusal to create a positive, supportive environment for everyone. Fitness trainers or class instructors should be well-equipped and knowledgeable on how to positively respond to and work with people of all shapes, sizes, and levels of ability. If larger people, disabled people, ill people, out-of-shape people, or anyone that wishes to be active, instructors should know how to foster a positive relationship and work within their limits.  I wish I could tell some fitness instructors this:

      1. Don’t ignore me
      Don’t act like the fat girl doesn’t exist. Please, for the love of God, read the room. Everyone in your class will not come with the same level of ability—fat or not. So to ignorantly assume a person’s activity level or their ability based solely on what they look like is unfair and pretty discriminatory. Thin people can be unhealthy and out of shape. I have several skinny friends who haven’t done cardio since high school P.E. Just because someone is larger or has a noticeable physical deformity doesn’t mean they aren’t capable and strong and healthy. Please, pay attention to who’s in the room and be willing to have a certain degree of flexibility in your teaching. If you notice someone struggling, offer to help them. If you notice someone doing well, continue to encourage them. 

      2. Offer modifications (without being an asshole).
      You don’t have to pull me aside, patronize, or ostracize me. No need in bringing attention to my body which already commands attention. While we’re going through the class, simply voicing alternatives is beneficial. An unwillingness to offer modifications is very ableist—regardless of a persons’ size. In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, ableism is “discrimination in favor of able-bodied people,” according to the Oxford dictionary. In context, an ableist attitude doesn’t just separate people between who’s fat and who’s thin, but also who is disabled? Who is nursing an injury? Unfortunately, an ableist attitude permeates the culture of many fitness facilities and consequently, their instructors. I’ll encourage all of you who are fat, disabled, unfit, or somehow short of “able-bodied” to question your instructor or gym on how they cultivate an atmosphere that isn’t ableist? If they can’t answer, it’s not the place for you. 

      3. Don’t dismiss my physical limits as a lack of effort.
      Listen, Jillian Michaels, I know you want me to “push myself,” but there are certain things this out of shape, inactive, and heavy body simply cannot do, and no amount of effort is going to change that right now. As time moves on and strength increases, it’s perfectly fine to encourage larger bodies to do more, but don’t think someone who is larger or relatively inactive will be able to do the same activity as someone more in shape. 

      When it comes to fitness, every body is different. Some are “in-shape” while others are unfit. Some are larger and heavier while others are light and slender, but none of that should matter. Our differences should be celebrated and encouraged, but our spaces must be inclusive. An active lifestyle is great for the physical and mental benefits, but fitness spaces must be sure to tend to the emotional and psychological part of its patron’s well-being as well. Taking my money and allowing me accessibility isn’t fair if I don’t have access to quality instructors once I get there. It’s like I’m being set up to fail. I want a seat at the table, you’ve just gotta make room for me. More

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      in health and weelbeing

      8 Facts You Need to Know About Immune Health

      by

      If you couldn’t already tell, we love cooler weather. We stan camel jackets and puffy coats, would much rather get cozy at home than go out, and hot coffee tastes better than iced (#hottake). However, around this time of year, we also start seeing “immune system” pop up in wellness headlines that promise ways to boost your health. I don’t know about you, but I have always been confused AF about what the immune system actually is. As far as I knew, the immune system was like a mystical unicorn that could wave a magic wand and protect us from outside threats. But the immune system is a key part of our bodies and a crucial piece of our wellbeing. We need to understand its function in order to understand how to keep it healthy, and besides, what’s more empowering than knowing our bodies?
      Unfortunately, there is a lot of misinformation out there about the immune system. Since it’s a buzzy topic and (more importantly) a key component to your wellbeing, we wanted to clear up confusion around the immune system, so we chatted with experts to get some answers. Here are eight facts about the immune system that everyone should know, and how you can keep yours as healthy as possible:

      1. The immune system is intertwined with every other system in the body
      We hear about it a lot, but what really is this mysterious immune system? Dr. Tieraona Low Dog M.D., an integrative medical doctor and Chief Medical Advisor at MegaFood, explains that it’s intricately intertwined with every other system in the body. “The immune system is an extremely elegant and complex network of cells that are designed to defend against pathogens that might cause us harm,” she said. “It is intimately intertwined with every other system in the body, constantly surveilling the body threats.”
      In other words, the immune system is not a shield covering the body or a wave of a magic wand like I had pictured. Instead, it’s comprised of cells, organs, and chemicals that detect unhealthy cells that can be harmful to the body, according to Dr. Erin Stokes, a Naturopathic Doctor and Medical Director at MegaFood.  So it’s less like a shield of defense and more like a metal detector at the beach–only instead of pennies and the occasional washed up treasure (a girl can dream, right?), the immune system is trying to detect unhealthy cells.

      2. “Boosting” your immune system is often misinterpreted
      The phrase and advice that I hear most often is about boosting the immune system. Here’s why that’s problematic: yes, it’s possible to have a weakened immune system, but it’s also possible to have an overactive immune system as well. For example, Dr. Low Dog explained that a healthy immune system doesn’t just know when to react, but it knows when not to. “A dysregulated immune system can sometimes attack the body’s healthy cells, causing auto-immune disorders such as rheumatoid arthritis or lupus,” she said.
      So we’re able to (and should!) prioritize practices that keep the immune system healthy, but the goal should be balancing, rather than boosting. Dr. Stokes clarifies what immune health really means. She said, “It’s more about maintaining healthy immune function and providing your immune system with the nutrients it needs to function optimally.” For example, nutrients like vitamin C, vitamin D, and zinc can help support the immune system.*

      3. Your diet can support (or hurt) your immune system
      And now for the good stuff: what we can be doing to actively keep our immune systems as healthy as possible. Both Dr. Stokes and Dr. Low Dog recommended eating whole foods that are rich in nutrients. Dr. Low Dog specifically suggested carotenoids, B-vitamins, vitamin C, and zinc, which she said can be obtained by eating 7-9 servings of fruits and vegetables per day, along with whole grains, legumes, and nuts. She also recommended allium vegetables (garlic, onions, leeks, etc.), fermented foods, berries, and culinary herbs and spices because they are powerhouses when it comes to antimicrobial, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory activity. Dr. Stokes said to “eat the colors of the rainbow” to make sure you’re getting in a variety of phytonutrients.
      Unfortunately for our holiday diets and PSL addiction, just as important as what foods to eat are what foods to avoid. Dr. Low Dog said, “High-sugar, low-fiber foods, as well as overly processed foods, are not good for your immune system or overall health.” The good news is that eating to support your immune system is not rocket science. Focus on getting in a variety of fruits and vegetables with every meal, top your meals with herbs/spices like cilantro, basil, or cinnamon, and eat whole grains and legumes much more often than processed foods. For more info on adding plants to your diet, click here. And if eating clean just isn’t for you, start with small changes like eating berries with your breakfast, adding kale to your pasta, and ordering a side salad with your meal when you eat out.

      4. Yes, supplementation can help maintain a healthy immune system
      We’ve already covered how your diet can affect your immune system with an array of micronutrients, vitamins, and antioxidants. And yes, you should be eating fresh, whole foods to keep your body in optimal health. However, sometimes we can all afford a little supplementation to get the nutrients we may not be getting enough of in our diets. In today’s day and age, we have tools and resources to not only stay healthy, but to be as healthy as possible. MegaFood is truly a favorite brand because their products are made with real food and added nutrients. 
      Dr. Stokes and Dr. Low Dog both recommend trying the Immune Defense* supplement.
      It’s made with herbs, added food, and nutrients to help the immune system, like vitamin C, zinc, black elderberry, and phytonutrient-rich herbs (like echinacea and Andrographis). For regular immune support try Daily Immune Support*, C Defense Gummies, D3 Wellness Gummies, or Zinc.

      5. A “healthy immune system” doesn’t mean it’ll never be compromised
      I always thought a minor snuffy nose meant I had a weakened immune system. After all, if you’re healthy, your body is 100% invincible, right? Wrong! “A healthy immune system does not mean you’ll never get sick,” Dr. Low Dog explained. “It means if you do get sick, you’ll be able to mount a great defense, recover, and form ‘immunologic memory’ through the creation of antibodies. This means that when you encounter that pathogen again, you can fight it fast.” In other words, a germ can “slip through the cracks,” and we can get a runny nose, even with peak immune health.

      6. Exercise can affect the immune system
      You know that physical activity is crucial for mental health, optimal energy, and increasing strength or endurance, but it’s also important for immune health. Dr. Stokes explained, “The increased movement of exercise helps immune system cells circulate more rapidly.” Dr. Low Dog agreed, saying that moderate amounts of exercise (less than 60 minutes per day) can help improve immune surveillance. Make sure you’re taking more walks, doing yoga flows, taking online kickboxing classes, or however you prefer to fit in regular movement.
      On the other hand, both experts warned that there’s an extent to how much exercise can help the immune system. “Athletes who are training intensely for competition often experience a disruption in the immune system due to high levels of inflammation and oxidative stress. For the rest of us, moderation and regularity are key,” Dr. Low Dog said. Dr. Stokes also warned not to over-exercise when you’re feeling rundown. Even though regular movement is good for the immune system, when you do start feeling under the weather, the body needs to rest more than it needs to do a strenuous workout.

      7. … and stress does too
      Now for a reason to take a mental health day from work tomorrow: high levels of stress can negatively impact the immune system. Dr. Low Dog said, “Numerous studies have shown that prolonged stress can increase immune susceptibility.” PSA: feeling run down during finals week every year of college was not a coincidence.
      Being stressed alone isn’t going to make us sick, but it can weaken the immune system so that when we are exposed to a harmful pathogen (like we often are, just from exposure to the outside world–AKA why I’m a paranoid germaphobe), our bodies don’t fight it like they normally would be able to. Dr. Stokes cited this study, explaining that the mind and body are closely connected (the mind-body connection is real, people!). She recommended regular meditation and yoga to find some inner zen and help reduce stress.

      8. Prioritize self-love
      While this might sound like the fluffy, cliché advice you got from The American Girl’s The Care and Keeping of You when you were in 6th grade, improving self-love can be extremely effective for your overall wellness and, therefore, your immune system. Dr. Stokes said, “One of the best techniques for improving health and wellness is to shift our self-talk and try to develop a more positive voice when talking to ourselves.” Dr. Low Dog agreed, recommending that wellness routines should be simple and we should lead with self-forgiveness. “Life is complicated enough without setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves,” she said. When we’re happy, confident, and treat ourselves well, our bodies (and immune systems) will respond accordingly. 

      SHOP THE STORY

      Megafood
      Gummy C Defense
      daily support for a healthy immune system in a vitamin C gummy*

      Megafood
      Gummy D3 Wellness
      daily support for a healthy immune system and bones in a delicious mixed berry gummy*

      Please consult a doctor before beginning any treatments. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.

      *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

      This post was sponsored by MegaFood, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More