In the last year (can you believe it’s been over a year! Love celebrating this with you all), I’ve written about dating quite a lot. What it’s like being a plus-size woman on dating apps, the challenges I experience dating as a career-focused woman, how insecurity has held me back in relationships, my experience with hookup culture, and I’ve written about enough sex articles to make my grandparents gasp.
My love life has been up and down the last few years, and I’m not even really sure where to begin. I dated someone for two years who ended up having a girlfriend who lived in another city the whole time (ouch). Then, I went on a thousand dates and found absolutely nothing. Then, I was on-and-off with someone who was abusive and only cared about himself. (I hope you’re reading this, but I know you’re not because you never read a single thing I wrote for a year and a half!) (Yes, I am using this article to be petty. I won’t apologize.)
I’m at a standstill with the dating world at this point. I honestly had a bit of a mental breakdown when I redownloaded Tinder a few days ago. I’m ready, interested, and excited to get back into the game, but I don’t exactly know where to start. So, I did what any good millennial (I recently discovered I’m actually Gen Z, but we’re going to stick with this) does and looked to the self-help book section of Amazon! Here are my picks:
Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman
This technically isn’t a dating book, but I’ll recommend it for every woman ever. This book is necessary for any woman who has ever felt less than or felt as if her body held her back (unfortunately, this is most women!). This is one of the most empowering and inspiring books I’ve ever read. I think I might be due for a reread!
Love Rules: How to Find a Real Relationship in a Digital World
Women are often told that finding love is trivial and unimportant, and instead, we should focus on our careers. Joanna Coles (former Editor in Chief of Cosmopolitan and Marie Claire!) disagrees. She discusses the importance of finding love (with yourself and someone else) in an empowering way. She also largely focuses on dating apps and sites, giving her guide to using them in an effective way.
Unafraid: Living with Courage and Hope in Uncertain Times
Sometimes the hardest part about dating is putting yourself out there. This book discusses fear and anxiety in a way that is approachable and understandable rather than focusing too much on the science. While it definitely deals with heavier topics, these are so easy to implement into practice when it comes to dating!
Bye Felipe: Disses, Dick Pics, and Other Delights of Modern Dating
Bye Felipe is one of my favorite Instagram accounts, and this book has completely changed my mind on dating apps. This book talks about the safety associated with dating apps, all the different ones to consider, how to handle uncomfortable conversations, and more. If you’re interested in dating apps, this is a must.
It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You’re Single
For those of us who are convinced we’ll be alone forever, this book is here to tell us why that’s OK. Many of us have gotten stuck in the trap of constantly wondering why we’re single and telling ourselves lies about how we’ve gotten here. Newsflash: they’re all wrong! Read this book if you want a good reminder.
The Love Gap: A Radical Plan to Win in Life and Love
When I first wrote about dating as an ambitious woman, someone (so nice of you!) recommended this book to me. IT’S AMAZING. The Love Gap explores the exact phenomenon of why men are afraid to date women who are smart and driven. If you relate to that story (read it! it’s fun!), you will love this book.
