Finding ways to love yourself is a powerful tool for so much more than stepping out in an out-of-comfort-zone outfit, owning that board meeting or letting the hairstylist know you’re *not* happy with the haircut. Fact: higher levels of self-esteem, self-compassion and self-love are consistently linked with better mental health, more happiness, greater resilience and better romantic relationships.
The science-backed ways self-love benefits your life
Self-compassion = less internal drama
Self-compassion is a powerful tool and is a great way to love yourself (or foster that growth). It entails treating yourself with kindness, even when you drop coffee on your brand-new pants or accidentally copy in your boss in a whiny email. It means being mindful when thinking about the negative aspects of yourself. A 2011 study in the journal shows that beyond giving yourself grace, self-compassion “provides greater emotional resilience and stability” than self-esteem. And, since all you need to do is see yourself as a human being (inherently flawed – like everyone else!), it’s a kinder way of relating to yourself.
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Self-empathy = better body image
A study in concluded that when women with eating disorders write every day, focusing specifically on self-compassion and self-esteem, they’re able to temporarily decrease negative self-esteem.
Being kind to yourself = healthier life
A study found that self-compassion is associated with lower cases of cardiovascular disease. A large meta-analysis in 2022 reported benefits from better social relationships, greater success at work and school and better mental and physical health.
You’ll be a goal-getter
A literature review highlights the surprising benefits of showing yourself love. Aside from less self-hate, those with more self-compassion are more open to admitting to mistakes, more willing to take on new challenges and are more prone to nixing unhelpful behaviours.
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So… what are the ways to love yourself?
Self-love has so many benefits – but how does it even happen? Whisper a few mantras and ka-pow? Well, rewiring your brain to be kind internally is not an overnight process. Rather, it’s a garden that, when cultivated, grows more – and can thrive. Here, some ways to build self-love.
Challenge your inner critic
Would you tell your friend they look like a Telly Tubby in a crop top? No? That’s a surefire way that it’s unhelpful to say so about yourself. To keep yourself accountable, start being mindful of your internal dialogue – your inner critic might be second nature.
Try mindfulness
You don’t have to meditate (although you should!), but practises like mindful walks and journalling can bring you into the present and enhance your appreciation for things – including yourself.
Get emotionally aware
When you’re uncomfortable about something, stuffing feelings aside can do the opposite of help. But by journalling, taking deep breaths in times of crisis or just tapping into your feelings, you’re able to identify and manage your feelings more effectively.
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Affirm yourself
Whether you use an app, write down reminders and stick ‘em on your bathroom mirror or even buy cue cards, the science supports affirmations. When we affirm ourselves, we are able to specify the things we value about ourselves. It’s linked with decreased stress and increased well-being and builds resilience when faced with a threat.
