I’ve always been a little bummed about spending the holidays without a significant other. (Why yes, I have been single for every holiday since birth, let’s not discuss.) I’m so lucky to be with my family every year, and I have friends to boot to share the holiday joy with. But there are enough Christmas rom-coms out there to make me wish I had someone to introduce to my family in a chaotic way or worry about what to get them. However, not once have I ever wished that I’d have someone to have sex with, because frankly, my vibrator is better.
Listen: it packs so neatly into my luggage, doesn’t require any talks about what to say when my mom asks, “When are you getting married?” and it shuts up the second I click off the off button. Whether you also don’t have a partner or you’re not seeing each other this year, these five vibrators are the next best thing—we might even argue they’re a little better.
Deluxe Rechargeable Mini Massage Wand Vibrator
If you’ve never tried a wand vibrator, now’s the time. These magical vibes are entirely for clitoral stimulation, but the large head makes it extra powerful. With seven patterns and 10 intensity levels, you’re bound to find the exact combo you need to have amazing orgasms on your own. It’s available in four colors and USB rechargeable (unlike the original wands you might recognize that plug into the wall—very ‘90s).
Enby Vibrator
This is the first truly gender neutral vibrator on the market, aptly named the Enby (which is a short term used to describe non-binary). It can be used in a number of ways, making it one of the most versatile vibes I’ve ever seen (and I’m a sex writer—I see a lot of vibrators). You can rub on it, tuck into a harness, place it between you and a partner, and mold it to fit almost any need. It has three speeds and five patterns of vibration and is USB rechargeable—which, if you can’t tell, is a major selling point (who wants to buy batteries?).
Womanizer Starlet USB Rechargeable Clitoral Stimulator
This vibrator is a best-seller on The Everygirl, and I can’t even count all the reasons why on one hand. From personal experience, these suction vibrators are the most unique sex toys on the market in recent years because they truly mimic oral sex in a way that makes me worry that finding a partner could become obsolete. This one is special because it’s petite, has four levels of intensity, and is USB rechargeable.
Fifty Shades of Grey Greedy Girl G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator
Everyone needs a classic rabbit vibrator in their collection if they receive orgasms from both oral and vaginal stimulation. They can all be pretty similar, but this one caught my eye because it’s luxe and high-quality without an outrageous price tag (sex toys can be astronomically expensive!). This one has two motors for each side, giving you 36 different combinations to achieve your best orgasm.
Dame Zee Vibrator
No matter what you’re doing this holiday season, a classic bullet vibrator is nothing short of a good time. This tiny vibe is made from ABS plastic instead of silicone, so it’s really easy to clean, ultra-soft on the body, and can be used with water and silicone-based lube. It’s water-resistant (happy bath season!), and—you guessed it—USB rechargeable. With three speeds, this is all the company you need.
