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    How I got my job as… Founder of interior brand Maison Mishmashi

    If you want to inject some personality into your home, look no further than Maison Mishmashi.
    With Syrian heritage, Maya Toron Al Omary grew up between the US and France and then spent some time in Morocco before making Dubai her home, there is definitely a cross-cultural references throughout her creations.

    Her colourful statement pieces are now available at THAT concept store at Mall of The Emirates. A space to discover the brand and artisanal pieces from all over the world, Al Omary has created an exclusive home-grown collection of pillows, puffs and other home furnishings to inspire a new attitude of your personal space.
    Get to know the Creative Director who will be enhancing your home, one unique piece at a time.

    What was your favourite subject at school?
    Sociology. I have realised the older I get I am more and more fascinated by the way of people and the reality that living is a continual process of growth and adaptation. Today I am convinced and it really seems hard to deny, that the way we come to express ourselves through our work is a product of our socialisation.
    What was your first job?
    I have always been an entrepreneur at heart. Having married fairly young, I always searched for what would help me achieve my personal ideal work/life balance. So my first real job was an art/café which I started in the U.S and where I learned to make the meanest cappuccinos – the foam standing sky high – I took the barista part of the job quite seriously.
    What inspired you to launch Maison Mishmashi?
    I started Mishmashi at a pivotal point in my life, I was searching for what could have deep meaning for me, and so decided (with the push from my entourage of family and dear friends) to follow my passion of design but just as important, create a brand under which I would document my journey, processes and creations and connect through them to people on an emotional level. That part of the vision came from within, I trusted my instinct without any real business plan and so The Mishmashi Life was born. Now known as  Maison Mishmashi- I have a platform through which I share my creative methods, products, inspirations, and lifestyle ideas both from home and in the studio – in recent years it is very much about our design collections and our beloved Queen Pouf Chair. Our motto is “What You Love is Beautiful” because I believe there are no rules or limits to define a beautiful design. My designs come from my imagination but also spring from a conscious awareness and research and the merge between fashion and interiors.  A large part of my philosophy and aesthetic also has to do with my biography. Both of my parents are accomplished painters, and so I grew up appreciating the experimental process. Having been raised in New York and Paris also gave me early exposure to the amazing ways that classical design and modern functionality cross – a contrast that is reflected in my work. Finally, I feel that my Syrian origin imbues my creations with folklore and emotion. Its Simply Mishmashi.

    What are the key elements of your role?
    I am exactly what my designation says, Creative Director. I personally select and source all my fabrics, I design my pieces and have a team of very talented and gifted people who literally “stitch” my designs to reality. I am also in charge of my social media platform as I place great importance in continuing to tell my story in an honest fashion #truestory and overseeing the running of my daily operation.
    What advice do you have for anyone looking to follow in the same footsteps?
    Don’t look at life or your potential business as a race to the finish line. Believe in yourself, grow organically. Which leads me to “adaptability” – yes, a business plan is a helpful tool but it shouldn’t be the ultimate, unchanging guide for your business. Sometimes things change, and you should be able to adapt your plan to those changes.
    Which fashion brands can we find in your work wardrobe?
    You will find so many different brands, a “mishmash’ in my closet quite literally– I choose my clothes as I do my fabrics, what makes my heart skip a beat- this can sometimes be a rare find from a flea market or local artisan shop in my visits abroad. Ahem, I still love my Gucci, Louis Vuitton and Chanel bags but just as much love (and cannot live without) my Stan Smiths, Converse and Golden Goose babies (I practically live in sneakers). My clothes are a simple array of local and international designers- if I like the fit – it’s a done deal.

    What is the best piece of advice you ever received?
    Follow your heart and instinct and don’t worry about being” successful” now – rather be genuine, honest and true to yourself and what you are offering, the success will follow.
    And what is the worst?
    “Keep Your Business and Personal Life Separate” – While there can be some merit to this piece of advice in certain situations, I truly don’t think it’s an absolute rule. I feel my business is organically thriving thanks a great deal to the personal touch and our story we share with customers whether in person or through social media, this has proven to be so valuable, you can’t even put it into words. Everything that Is part of the weave of my journey without airing any real personal drama of course! But being a little bit open and personable with my customers, in my experience, is a good thing.

    What has been the biggest challenge you had to overcome?
    The biggest challenge would have to be when I acquired my first studio in the beginning stages of my business. I was still focused on developing my brand identity at the time and was also seriously experimenting with my designs. I quickly found my overhead costs increasing and sales not even close enough to cover most of it. I then kept reading and asking and eventually found ways to bring down some of my costs, which included the hard decision of moving my studio. This taught me the hard lesson that “Experience is a master teacher, even when it’s not our own” – I continued speaking to people, learning from their experiences, reading and researching from other stories. The silver-lining was a life lesson – we benefit from “their” experience as well as our own and we can inherit new wisdom and knowledge by keeping an open mind and adapting to what may be happening now even as we look to the future.
    – For more about Dubai’s lifestyle, news and fashion scene follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram.
    Images: Supplied More

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    A ‘hope’ speech from the late Sheikh Zayed goes viral

    As the UAE gears up for a history-making moment on Wednesday July 15 with the launch of the Hope Probe, the nation is looking to the words of the late Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan.
    The founding father of the nation’s words have been immortalised in a video posted to the Ministry of Defence’s Twitter page.

    In the video, Sheikh Zayed discusses “hope”, which is perfectly fitting ahead of the launch of the probe to Mars.
    “History records, eyes of people see and minds know the difference,” he says. “Work for hope, because hope is the actual value of humans.”

    HH Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, also appears in the video, he is seen inspecting the probe which will take off on July 15. His Highness also discusses the late Sheikh Zayed’s “ambitions to reach space”.

    مسبار الأمل | HOPE PROBE pic.twitter.com/0b7Fj4C4rq
    — وزارة الدفاع |MOD UAE (@modgovae) July 12, 2020

    “Sheikh Zayed used to invite astronauts to Abu Dhabi, to ask them questions and talk to them,” Sheikh Mohammed said. “He had ambitions to reach space, and thank God, his sons and our brothers reached the skies, among the stars.
    “We don’t recognise the word ‘impossible’, and that is why we chose the name Hope Probe.”
    The probe, which is set to take off from Japan’s Tanegashima Space Centre, was signed by Sheikh Mohammed and HH Sheikh Mohamed bin Zayed Al Nahyan, the Crown Prince of Abu Dhabi and the Deputy Supreme Commander of the UAE Armed Forces, earlier this year.
    The probe is being spearheaded by the UAE in order to gain a full picture on what the atmosphere of Mars is like. Once the probe reaches the planet some time in 2021, data will be collected over a two-year period, but this could be extended by another two years meaning the Hope Probe has the potential to be in space until 2025.
    – For more about Dubai’s lifestyle, news and fashion scene follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram.
    Feature Image: Getty More

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    Italy imposes travel restrictions from these Middle Eastern countries

    While many of us presumed travel plans would be completely put on hold for the summer due to the global pandemic, many countries have opened their borders including Italy.
    However, before you book your plane tickets to soak up the sun on the Italian Riviera, you should be aware there are visitors from 13 countries that are banned from visiting Italy – including three Middle Eastern countries – for the time being due to fears over COVID-19 spreading further.

    The three Middle Eastern countries include Bahrain, Kuwait and Oman and the rest of the list includes Armenia, Bangladesh, Bosnia, Brazil, Chile, the Dominican Republic, North Macedonia, Moldova, Panama and Peru.
    Speaking on the decision, Italian Health Minister Roberto Speranza said the move was to protect the sacrifices the Italian people have made through the last few months.

    “Throughout the world, the pandemic has entered a more acute phase,” he said. “We cannot throw away the sacrifices made by Italians in recent months.”
    Italy has been one of the worst-hit countries by the virus, becoming the first country outside of China to have recorded COVID-19 cases earlier this year.
    However, the country hit their worst peak towards the end of March and daily numbers of COVID-19 cases have significantly dropped since then. Italy has had 242,827 confirmed cases of COVID-19, with 13,303 of those still active and a total of 34,945 fatalities.

    Meanwhile, in the UAE, there have been 54,050 confirmed cases, with 43,969 recoveries and 330 deaths.

    – For more about Dubai’s lifestyle, news and fashion scene follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram.
    Feature Image: Unsplash  More

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    5 superlative summer staycations in the UAE and beyond

    The Wanderlust
    Bvlgari Resort Dubai
    Where: Jumeriah Bay, Dubai
    The Vibe: The Epitome of Luxury

    USP: To switch off in true style and luxury whilst staying close to home, the Bvlgari Resort Dubai is the perfect place to do so. Having recently launched ‘Bvlgari Staycations’, it’s the ideal time to take advantage of the unsurpassed facilities and impeccable, considered service the resort has to offer. Driving over the bridge to this haven you’ll feel the calm wash over you in knowing that this level of luxury exists only in those who know how to attend to your every need whilst allowing you the feeling of an uninterrupted, private stay. We’re lucky enough to have stayed in a multitude of stunning hotels the globe over and this is one of the absolute best.

    The Bvlgari Staycations menu consists of four experiences: B.FAMILY, B.PRIVATE, B.ACTIVE and B.BEAUTIFUL.
    For a staycation getaway with the whole family, the resort’s B.FAMILY package keeps both the parents and children’s needs in mind with a two-night stay. While the children are supervised at the resort’s Little Gems Club, the parents can enjoy a spa treatment together getting 90 minutes of pure relaxation and peace. For dinner, guests will receive the best of both worlds enjoying a private family dinner in their villa one evening, and the second evening the children will be treated to a private pyjama party. Meanwhile, parents can enjoy some one-on-one time for dinner at Il Ristorante – Niko Romito with a special set menu.
    Those seeking a truly private getaway, Bvlgari’s B.PRIVATE experience will ensure guests feel like the resort is their own home with this two-night stay. With an early check-in at midday, guests will immediately be treated to a family-style brunch. To start the day off on a high-note during your first morning at the resort, enjoy a personal 60-minute training session with a WORKSHOP Performance Specialist. Wind down in the evening with a private masterclass with the resort’s expert mixologist, which will then lead into a BBQ dinner.

    Bvlgari’s third unique package, B.ACTIVE, is catered for guests seeking a getaway, but being able to continue to stay active. With a series of wellbeing activities, spa treatments and personal training sessions, guests will receive a special two-night program to meet their needs. Included in the program are two 60-minute training sessions with a personal trainer, one 60-minute yoga class and two 60-minute spa treatments at the Bvlgari Spa. A healthy lunch and dinner will also be included in the experience.
    Finally, for those looking to experience the ultimate relaxation and rejuvenation, Bvlgari’s B.BEAUTIFUL experience is perfect. The one-night stay includes three-hour Royal Lulur Treatment for two at the Bvlgari Spa along with manicure and pedicure at the Y12 Salon. Ladies will also receive a luxurious hair mask treatment, as well as a cut and blow-dry. For the men, they will be treated to a traditional Italian beard shave and haircut. As the sun sets, guests will enjoy an Aperitivo at Il Bar followed by a three-course set menu at Il Ristorante – Niko Romito.
    Overall, the Bvlgari Resort Dubai is the ideal place to recuperate, reset and reinvest time in yourself after months of staying put at home.
    The details: Located in Jumeriah Bay, Dubai, the Bvlgari Resort is a short 25-minute drive from Dubai Airport. The Bvlgari Staycation experiences start from Dhs2,800 and are inclusive of daily breakfast and early check-in at 12.00pm. For reservations email room.reservations.dubai@bulgarihotels.com or call +971 4 777 5555.
    The Ritz-Carlton Ras Al Khaimah, Al Wadi Desert

    Where: Ras Al Khaimah
    The Vibe: The modern Bedouin
    USP: Escape to the golden dunes of the desert where the stars look brighter than the sun and the facilities are as luxurious as you’d expect of a Ritz-Carlton property. The all-pool-villa resort is offering a culinary Desert Bliss package. Breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner will be delivered at allocated time slots with selected beverages. To make your stay extra special, the team will arrange little treats throughout, including a romantic bubble bath with a side of strawberries and cream. Don’t forget to check out the 45-minute interactive Falcon and Owl Show and take advantage of the complimentary private beach access at the nearby The Ritz-Carlton Ras Al Khaimah, Al Hamra Beach which can be reached by a dedicated shuttle.
    The details: Located in Al Mazraa, Wadi Khadija – Ras al Khaimah, this is the ideal distance from Dubai for a staycation. Prices start at Dhs4,200 per villa, per night for two adults up to two children under 12 years. Children under 12 years stay and dine on a complimentary basis. For reservations call +971 7 206 7777.
    Al Maha, a Luxury Collection Desert Resort & Spa

    Where: Dubai
    The Vibe: Luxurious Arabian Dwelling
    USP: Set amongst a wildlife reserve, this is the perfect escape for a weekend away. On your way there, the tranquil vistas of golden sands and views of the Hajar mountains will keep you company. The tented Bedouin-style accommodation complete with ornate doors and antiques and wooden chests, majlis-style courtyards, lantern-lit outdoors all give a warm sensation of luxurious Arabian living. Your stay is tailored to suit you and the choice to do as much or as little rests with you. Midnight swims in the pool, falconry, sunset camel rides, mouth-watering meals, stargazing and complete privacy (you might get a surprise visit from a curious gazelle) are all on the menu along with service that is second to none.
    The details: Located a mere 45 minutes away from Dubai International Airport, it is located at the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve, Dubai Al Ain Road. Suite rates begin at Dhs3,400 per day during weekdays and Dhs3,950 per night during weekends.  Children of ages 10 and below are not allowed. For reservations call +971 4 832 9900.
    Six Senses Zighy Bay

    Where: Zighy Bay, Oman
    The Vibe: Rustic Luxe
    USP: If you’re putting plans in place for your next getaway out of the country once borders open, why not look close to home in Oman? For the ultimate relaxation, escape to the secluded and serene setting of Six Senses Zighy Bay. The luxury villas have a rustic vibe, each coming with their own pool giving optimum privacy for guests. Whether you fancy a trip to the spa, a calming fishing session or just lounging on the beach, this is the place to rejuvenate and recharge. As night hits, enjoy dinner at the array of different dining options at the resort which features both local and international cuisines.
    The details: A two-hour drive from Dubai Airport, this is a great option for a staycation that really feels like you’ve travelled somewhere far away.  Prices start from Dhs4,875 for a pool villa for two adults. For reservations call +968 2 673 5555. Please note Zighy Bay is yet to reopen. 
    Zaya Nurai Island Resort‎

    Where: Nurai Island, Abu Dhabi
    The Vibe: Fancy Bohemian
    USP: Away from the hustle and bustle of the city, Zaya Nurai Island is the perfect destination to escape to paradise. So much so, you’ll feel the vacation mode switching on as soon as you get on the boat to the island. From a wide range of dreamy suites and rooms, Zaya Nurai Island has all the options you’re looking for with sea views and water villas. The island is surrounded by sweeping grass canopies combining all the elements for the dream location.
    The details: Situated off the coast of Saadiyat, Abu Dhabi, it’s easily accessible via a short speedboat transfer and minutes travel time from Abu Dhabi city. Suite rates begin at Dhs3,125 per day during weekdays and Dhs5,000 per night during weekends. For reservations call +971 2 506 6222.
    Pick up a copy of ‘The Summer Escape Issue’ or download it here.
    – For more about Dubai’s lifestyle, news and fashion scene follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram.
    Images: Supplied More

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    The new rules regarding expired UAE visas

    It was announced over the weekend the rules regarding expired visas and Emirates IDs had changed.
    Back in April when the coronavirus pandemic started to greatly affect travel worldwide, UAE authorities announced all residency visas and Emirates IDs that expired after March 1 would be valid until the end of the year.

    However, this has now been changed by the Federal Authority of Citizenship and Identity (ICA) which announced that all expired visas and Emirates IDs will need to be renewed.
    From today, July 12, the standard fees will be applied for the renewal of visas and Emirates IDs.

    The UAE Cabinet issued a number of amendments to the decisions isuued recently in their Identity and citizenship sector#ICAUAE #IdentityandCitizenship #UAE pic.twitter.com/MLNSMQBAJE
    — Identity and Citizenship- UAE (@ICAUAE) July 10, 2020

    For those who have been stuck outside the country for less than six months, whether you’re a UAE citizen, GCC citizen or a UAE resident, a one month grace period for the renewal of visas and Emirates IDs will be given upon entry to the UAE.
    For those who have been inside the UAE since the outbreak of the pandemic, a three-month grace period will be given to Emiratis, GCC citizens and UAE residents to renew their documents.
    Fines will begin to apply once the above grace periods end.
    Depending on when your visa expired, whether it was in March or April, May, June or July, there are different dates for when you can apply to renew your visa.
    For those whose documents expired in March and April, you can apply to renew your visas and Emirates IDs today, July 12. For later dates refer to the table published by the ICA on their official Twitter page.
    – For more about Dubai’s lifestyle, news and fashion scene follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Feature Image: Unsplash More

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    How to Create a Hair-Care Routine

    All over the internet, you’ll see splashy articles that tell tales on how to get amazing hair. This normally includes some sort of in-depth routine and picking up products at your local Sephora, but do these things actually work for normal, everyday women? And what is the secret to getting that gorgeous “shampoo model” hair anyway? We decided to turn to an expert to get the details.Younghee Kim has been a hairstylist for 30 years. Working under the likes of Vidal Sassoon, she now owns a salon in New York City, Younghee Salon. When asked about the secrets of perfecting a hair routine in order to get healthy hair, she said it all comes down to one thing: your scalp.

    The Most Common Mistake
    Kim said that in order to figure out your hair type, you should turn to your skin. “Look at your skin, if your skin is dry, your hair is dry,” Kim explained. “So, it’s important to know your skin type.” 
    Your hair type and scalp type work in conjunction. While it might be necessary to determine the type of hair you have—such as fine, thick, curly, or color-treated—it’s also necessary to define what type of scalp you have, which many people look over.
    Most hair products only look after the ends and middle shaft of the hair, instead of looking at the root of the problem—pun intended. When you look at hair products, they rarely treat for scalp type. Often, they advertise for hair type, such as a shampoo for curly hair and conditioners for only taming split ends. While acknowledging scalp type is not a new practice in the hair-care industry, it’s certainly not as common. “The industry has been talking about ‘scalp care as skin care,’ but education for consumers and available products are a bit behind,” Kim said. This is a challenge for Kim and other hairstylists alike, as it’s often difficult to educate their clients on the importance of taking care of the scalp. 

    Knowing Your Scalp Type
    Even though the scalp is often overlooked, it’s easy to address. You can determine your scalp type at home. Simply look at your scalp as you would look at the skin on your face. Just like your facial skin, scalps come in several forms: oily, dry, combination, or sensitive; your scalp type, coupled with your hair type, can then determine your hair-care routine.
    You might think that you need to use toners, masks, and a hair essence, but that isn’t always necessary. The most important part of achieving healthy hair is listening to your body. Kim emphasized the process of trying out different products, observing their effects, and then sticking to whatever works best. There is no one method or a specific product you should use when crafting your hair routine.
    Just as you would stop using a product that irritated your face, watch your scalp and stop using products that don’t suit your hair. “Every shampoo has a personality, you have a personality, and you need to have the right fit. It’s like matchmaking,” Kim explained. 

     
    What to use in your hair-care routine
    So, what products should you use? With international markets bursting at the seams with new products left and right, it can be overwhelming to even choose a product to test. A constant “no-no” for Kim is silicone. “Silicone is the worst for hair,” Kim said. She explained further that  “the silicone found in shampoos and conditioners is intended to stay on the hair after washing, and as a result it doesn’t leave the hair and scalp easily. Over time, the silicone will weigh down your hair, making it limp, dry, and dull. Additionally, the hair follicles on your scalp can become clogged and lead to breakouts and scalp sensitivity.” 
    Kim also explained that she tries to stay away from organic products, as she’s found through her experience that they can make her customers’ hair flat. There’s also no way to know exactly what percent of the product is actually organic, but an easy way to find certified organic product is doing some quick research online and to read reviews from other experts and users. 

    READ: The Celeb-Favorite Haircare Product That Gave Me My Best Hair Days

    While the products included in Kim’s own line are 100 percent natural, they are not organic. The main difference between Kim’s products and others is that because they are natural, they do not contain silicone. According to Kim, “silicone is a synthetic ingredient that makes hair smooth and shiny. There are products on the market that claim to detox or clarify, but they contain silicone, which is the main culprit in residue build-up.”
    While natural products are not certified and have fewer rules compared to the intensive certification process of organic goods, they both do not contain parabens. In order to see whether natural products are truly worthwhile, it’s best to study the ingredients on the label. Products that have the least synthetic ingredients should be your go-to products if you’re looking for things that are cleaner and more natural. If you’re not sure if a product is good for you, ask your stylist their opinion.

    Kim noted that while she believes natural ingredients are important, getting a shampoo that balances the pH of your scalp is also a factor. A shampoo with a pH of 6.5 is a great place to start. Some companies will list the pH on the company website, or at times companies may list the pH in training manuals and product brochures for the stylist. But unfortunately, it is not always common knowledge for the consumer. Because of this, it’s important to choose your hair products carefully and talk to your hair stylist for recommendations.

    READ: Can You Train Your Hair to Be Less Greasy? We Asked An Expert

    She also recommended using a toner. Just as all soaps do, “shampoos leave residue behind,” Kim said. She further explained that you need to tone your hair with a comb to get the residue out. While there aren’t many purifying hair and scalp toners on the market, Kim suggests trying diluted apple cider vinegar or diluted witch hazel. The scent may be strong, but it will fade as the hair dries. Alternatively, Kim also suggested using a clarifying shampoo to get rid of any silicone residue build-up, but she recommends that “you use it once in a while, as it is like using dish detergent and can dry out your hair and scalp if used too frequently.”
    After a toner, Kim said that she normally goes in with a small amount of conditioner at the ends, and in her experience, she’s noticed that “if you have a good product, you won’t need a lot of it.”

    There is no one-size-fits-all routine
    In a world where there’s a lot of restrictions, Kim sees the world of hair a little differently. When asked about if there are additional products people should use or if there’s a certain way to treat hair, Kim noted that “nothing is bad. If you overdo it, it’s bad…[But] nothing is set in stone.” 
    Kim’s point of view brings to light the thought process behind hair care and what it really means to have a “hair routine.” After all, just like skin, everyone has different hair, and while some people might work better with a certain routine, others might not. Kim made an analogy that just like how “some people can sleep with their makeup on and their skin looks [fine]. For others, they need to cleanse and moisturize, otherwise, they will break out and/or have dry skin.” 
    What matters is that you watch and react to your personal hair needs and adjust accordingly. While Kim has a lot of recommendations on the best way to treat hair, at the end of the day she does really suggest one thing: “Have fun. Enjoy it!” More

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    Women of Color: Let’s Give Ourselves Permission to Do Less

    The most profound thing my therapist ever taught me was not a lesson she taught. It was a question she asked: why do you feel like you have to do it all, right now? She sat across from me in her dimly-lit office, legs crossed at the ankles, calmly sipping tea from her blue patterned mug and asked again, another way: why the urgency? I paused. Took a moment to imagine myself not urgent. She had only known me a few weeks then, but she already knew me as a person who lives in totality, despite the costs of living such a lifestyle. She recognized me as a person who wants to be her whole self. Explore all her passions. Share all her gifts—even at the expense of well-being. It wasn’t until that day that I stopped and asked myself, why the urgency? Why was I pushing myself to achieve more, climb higher, and work harder than anyone ever asked or expected me to?The answer, for me, lies in my identity as a Black woman.
    When I was young, I remember being told that I would always have to work twice as hard for half as much. Being told that education was mandatory, but even that wouldn’t be enough. Being disappointed in myself for getting one B on my report card, one time. Still being told, later, that my success was a gift of my race and not a result of my life’s hard work. Those lines spoken then manifested later in anxiety and imposter syndrome. I developed an intolerance for average. An insistence on exactness. A relentless pursuit for perfection that landed me here, now, watching my therapist sip her tea and marvel at my mayhem. After the session, I did some deep soul-searching and realized my urgency was coming from a sense of perfectionism that wasn’t my own; it was a result of the world as seen and experienced by a Black woman for whom nothing came without a fight. Once I realized that, I also realized I no longer wanted to live that way. I wanted to ditch the urgency and find balance. Shed the burden of fear, inferiority, anxiety; replace it with self-care, self-love, self-worth. But how? If, like me, you are a Black woman or Woman of Color who finds herself overwhelmed, off-balance, and/or consistently doing too much: keep reading as I share my story. For me, finding balance came as a result of some shifts in mindset, attitude, and priorities.

    I began demanding less of myself, and more of other people.
    At some point, I realized that while I was placing exceptionally high expectations on myself, my expectations of others—especially regarding how I allowed them to treat me—were exceedingly low. To flip that around, I began by acknowledging my worth. I was dealing with a wicked case of imposter syndrome, which caused me to credit my every accomplishment to luck, circumstance, or both. When I had writing published, I assumed it was because the publication was desperate. When that published writing was later awarded, I assumed someone only did it as a favor to me. When I was accepted to a Ph.D. program, I figured it was because of who I knew; not my own merit. The list goes on and on. Shifting this mindset caused me to consider each of my accomplishments individually. To celebrate those accomplishments. And then, to let myself off the hook of my own high expectations. 
    After acknowledging my worth, the next step was demanding that others did the same. I began to take notice of the people who were always quick to put me down. Those who tended to ask clarifying questions about how I accomplished what I accomplished, instead of first celebrating my accomplishment. These were the same people who would joke about earning something without even trying, knowing that I actually worked hard and tried (unsuccessfully) to earn that same thing. I started speaking up for myself when these things happened. I started demanding respect. And if/when these people still refused to acknowledge my worth, I walked away.

    I confronted the problematic nature of my role at work.
    If like me, you’ve been the first “diverse” hire at an organization, you’re probably already aware that there’s a lot of pressure. And this pressure is emphasized when people of color are hired into leadership positions, especially by organizations specifically looking to make a diversity hire and/or show their “commitment” to diversity, equity, and inclusion. As described in Nonprofit Quarterly, when white leaders are hired into an organization, they are encouraged to “fail forward,” using failure as a tool to learn and grow. However, this isn’t the case for Black leaders. When we fail, we’re only proving to those who hired us that we were not a good “fit” for the organization. We’re also giving them the excuse to say, “well, we tried to hire a diverse leader, but it didn’t work.” The pressure that Black workers and leaders endure from their staff, boards, etc. to “get it right” comes from the knowledge that a steep learning curve or even a minor mistake could cost not only you your job, but could also mean that other Black people won’t be considered for that job (or similar jobs) in the future. 
    For me, the first step in combating this issue was recognizing that it existed in the first place. And by existed, I mean this wasn’t just me overreacting or making something out of nothing. This was a systemic issue rooted in bias and prejudice. After I educated myself, I helped to educate others. From there, I began to point out microaggressions in the workplace, and advocate for myself when I wasn’t given the same grace as others. I knew this would be scary—and risky—but without speaking up for myself in this way, I feared I would never have the positive workplace experience I deserved. 

    I ditched the perfectionism for self-care.
    In the workplace, Black people and people of color often feel pressure to be perfect. I used to believe that even asking for help would be proof to everyone that I did not belong. Whenever I felt the urge to express vulnerability, I forced myself to maintain a cool demeanor (ironically, the same cool demeanor that often made my coworkers and employers refer to me as “unlikeable”). Little did I know, the ridiculously high standards I was placing on myself were a result of a harmful white supremacy culture that I had fallen victim to. As far as I could tell, advocating for oneself and/or taking care of oneself were behaviors reserved for those with privilege. I watched in awe as my coworkers talked back to the boss in meetings and showed up late for work without apology; meanwhile, I was always on time and submissive, yet still, the first one demoted, laid off, fired.
    Instead of focusing on being “perfect,” I began to congratulate myself for working hard; for accomplishing tasks; for staying positive. Truthfully, it is still hard for me to ask for help in the workplace. My hope is that the more I am accepted, the more vulnerable I will be able to be in these spaces.

    I focused more on life and less on work.
    Something I had to come to terms with was the fact that for me, work-life would always come with added challenges as a result of race, and race alone. No matter how satisfied I might be in a workplace, the fact remains that I have never worked anywhere where I was not stereotyped, dismissed, rejected, humiliated, undermined, etc. in ways that my white counterparts were not. Once I accepted this harsh reality, I made a radical decision: I would value rest over being busy. Our culture brainwashes us into believing that our worth is tied to our productivity. I had to unlearn the harmful belief that I could not rest, relax, or take a day off without compromising everything I’d worked so hard for. Once I shed that negative mindset, I placed energy into being present in all aspects of my life, and not just those deemed worthwhile by American society.
    I also embraced self-care and ditched self-neglect. For me, self-care looks like a lot of things. It looks like yoga and meditation. Taking candle-lit bubble baths on Wednesday nights. Blocking negative energy (and people) on social media. Scheduling mental health days. Bingeing Netflix. Bingeing fresh-baked cookies and ice cream. Whatever it takes to remind myself that I am worthy; valued; appreciated.

    For many Black women and Women of Color, it is not simply a question of finding work-life balance. It is a question of balancing so much more: balancing expectations people have of you with your expectations of yourself; balancing self-hate and self-love; balancing your conception of what you need to accomplish to be successful versus how others are privileged to define success. Finding my balance has been less about sacrifice and more about standards. My new commitment is to myself; not to others. I’ve wasted enough of my energy trying to prove to others that I am good enough. Now, it’s time to convince myself that I’m good enough. That I’m worthy of my job. Worthy of my accomplishments. Worthy of success. Worthy of rest. I am still a work-in-progress, but it feels good these days to move around with a little more balance, and a little less urgency. More

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    All the Under-$100 Items in My Cart RN

    In a past life, an occasional day of shopping could bring exactly what the doctor ordered: a relaxing day of retail therapy that, if done right, could leave us with a new piece or two we couldn’t wait to wear.These days, retail therapy looks a little different, but the rush of UPS ringing our doorbells on a bleak afternoon can (almost) compare to the old days full of dressing rooms and in-person checkouts. Summer is in full swing, and summer clothes and accessories are still here begging us to put them on. 
    These 15 items are lurking in our editors’ carts waiting for us to press “check out,” and we have a feeling they’ll excite you just as much as they excite us—regardless of if places to wear them are in the picture for us just yet.

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