Raphael Stevens

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    in lifestyle and culture

    More driving schools for women in Saudi Arabia to open in 2021

    More driving schools dedicated to women in Saudi Arabia are set to open in the Kingdom in 2021.
    Per Gulf News, local media has reported that new facilities allowing women to learn to drive will open across different regions in the Kingdom.

    As well as this, even more female applicants will be given permission to enrol in male driving schools in Saudi Arabia. This will be facilitated with giving females their own time slots to learn to drive with female instructors.
    At present, there are five driving schools dedicated to females learning to drive in the Kingdom in Dammam, Jeddah, Medina, Riyadh and Tabuk.

    It’s another exciting move for women in the Kingdom. The changes are part of the many initiatives under Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman’s Vision 2030 scheme, an ambitious post-oil economic plan, which has a major focus on women’s rights in the Kingdom.
    Just three months after he stepped into the role in 2017, the Crown Prince unveiled in a royal decree, women would be able to secure driving licenses from June 2018 and he has gone on to do much more.
    Then, in March 2018, it was announced by the Ministry of Justice that women who are divorced in the country would be able to instantly retain custody of their children.
    Under his plans, women are now also able to attend sports events in stadiums in three cities, female students in the Kingdom are now allowed to carry their phones while on campus and as of August 2019, women aged over 21 are now allowed to travel independently.
    In the last few months alone, there have been many notable history-making moments and appointments in Saudi Arabia paving the way for women.
     – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Feature Image: Getty More

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    Sheikh Mohammed adds more professionals to the ‘golden visa’ list

    His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the Vice-President and Prime Minister of the UAE and Ruler of Dubai, has announced that more professionals have been added to the list who will be eligible for the 10-year ‘golden visa’.
    Sheikh Mohammed revealed on Sunday that all doctors, those who hold a PhD, engineers the computer science, electronic, programming, electricity and biotechnology, and also graduates from accredited universities who score an 3.8 GPA and above would not be eligible for the 10-year visa.

    “The golden visa will also be granted to holders of specialised degrees in AI, big data, or epidemiology and viruses, as well as outstanding high school students in the country and their families,” His Highness also announced. “This is the first batch of granted visas that will be followed by more.”

    UAE Golden Visa will also include UAE-based physicians as well as engineers in the fields of computer science, electronics, programming, electricity and biotechnology.
    — HH Sheikh Mohammed (@HHShkMohd) November 15, 2020

    Earlier last year, the General Directorate of Residency and Foreign Affairs (GDRFA) announced a target of 6,800 golden visas to be given out by the end of 2019 due to the growing demand for longer residency options in the UAE.
    In May 2020, Sheikh Mohammed had also decided to award a group of 212 male and female doctors from the Dubai Health Authority with the 10-year Gold Card residency visas for providing direct medical services to COVID-19 patients.
    – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Feature Image: Dubai Media Office More

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    Exclusive: Halima on being one of the ‘lucky ones’ to leave her refugee camp

    Halima Aden is undoubtedly a remarkable human being.
    Since winning the Miss Minnesota USA pageant for years ago, where she was the first contestant in the pageant to wear a burkini and a hijab, Aden has walked the catwalks of some of the biggest fashion brands in the business, graced the covers of many big-name magazines and become a role model to so many across the globe.

    In our exclusive interview with the Pandora ambassador, Aden opened up about the pressure she does feel on being a role model to so many.
    “I know that I am one of the lucky ones who was able to leave my refugee camp and resettle in a place like the USA having the opportunity to chase the American Dream,” she admits. “Most who live in refugee camps will never be able to say that.”

    However, Aden also prides herself on being a role model, taking it very seriously, always wanting to be there to inspire young women with her story.
    “Being a role model is important to me, not just to the young girls in my Muslim or Somali communities, but to those who can relate to any part to my story,” she says. “I feel very fortunate to be in this position and while it comes with an enormous amount of responsibility, at the end of the day, the best I can do is to just do me and be myself.”
    Aden has always done her utmost to spread a positive message, and this couldn’t be more prevalent in the new holiday campaign with Pandora she is a part of alongside Millie Bobby Brown, Georgia May Jagger, Larsen Thompson and more.
    In EW’s exclusive interview with Aden she discusses her long-standing partnership with Pandora, the messaging of the holiday campaign, being a woman of firsts and more.
    It’s so fabulous you have such a long-standing partnership with Pandora. What has it been like working with an iconic brand like this over the years?
    I’ve tried to be very intentional in the brands that I align with and Pandora values a lot of the same things I do. The company is all about cherishing memories, uplifting women, being socially aware, elevating their employees and emphasizing the importance of sustainability. Their goals and the work they are doing is something I want to be part of. When I work with companies, I like to know about the grander impact they are making and having visited the Pandora crafting facility in Thailand to see the work they do first-hand, meeting their team of designers, engaging with the other talent they work with, and even participating in their philanthropic endeavours… really goes to show that they really treat the company like a family. I feel like I’m part of the Pandora family.

    Can you talk us through the messaging of this holiday campaign?
    Holidays are a time of being together and for many of us, 2020 has made being physically together difficult. The campaign really reminds us the importance of coming together, even if it’s virtually. You will see other Pandora ambassadors and myself travelling around the globe in animated form and spreading holiday joy. I can now say I have an animation, cartoon-like character of myself! It was a fun, self-shot project with the help of the renowned Andy Baker Studios, known for their expertise in 2-D animation.
    There’s many incredible faces in it, including yourself, Millie Bobbie Brown and more, what’s it like working with the other Pandora ambassadors?
    Wow, I’m always inspired by them. These women are doing incredible things. Not only are their careers skyrocketing and they are true professionals in their craft, but they are using their platforms to promote bigger messages when it comes to important causes and charitable work.
    It’s been a difficult year for everyone, and for some the Christmas period still may be hard. What emotions do you hope this Pandora campaign evokes?
    Really the spirit of coming together. I think this year, more than ever, it’s important that we all stay connected. The campaign is fun and the masterminds behind it are so forward-thinking, which is something I love about the Pandora brand. They think outside the box and have really used their creativity for this campaign to connect with their audience. I hope everyone sees it and can smile and mostly know that everyone, around the world, is feeling the same way as they are this holiday season. The message is about going around the world, digitally, and spreading the holiday spirit.

    In recent years you’ve become a beacon of light to so many people across the globe – you’re definitely a woman with many incredible firsts – what do you hope to portray to the world?
    For me, it’s important that those in under-represented or sometimes misunderstood communities know that the world will meet you where you stand. Don’t be afraid to be the first and put yourself in spaces that no one like you or that you can relate to has been before. Don’t wait for someone else to represent you. Most importantly, “Don’t change yourself, change the game!” If not invited to the table, pull up your own seat.
    You’re all about breaking down barriers and stereotypes. When you began your career, is this what you set out to do?
    My career landed in my lap after taking a risk and doing something that hadn’t been done before. For me, I entered the Miss Minnesota USA pageant for three reasons: 1. To surround myself with positive and powerful women as this was one of the few events in my state that brings together women who truly want to leave the world a better place. 2. I was hoping for college scholarship money. 3. I wanted to show the girls at my high school that you don’t have to conform to fit in and be accepted. You can go participate in a swimsuit competition and wear a more modest swimsuit. It’s okay to do things a bit differently.
    It’s crazy to think how you’ve been catapulted into such incredible stardom and have become a role model to so many in the last four years. What are your thoughts on it all? Did it take a while to get used to?
    When I hear words like “famous” or “celebrity” I honestly get uncomfortable. I think I’m in a bit of a different situation sometimes as I didn’t set out to enter the world of entertainment, fashion, glamour. Instead, which speaks volumes to the industry, it found me. I’ve been able to find success, while remaining true to myself. I feel like I have so many identities that make up who I am, which is why I think I can connect with so many people. Being a role model is important to me, not just to the young girls in my Muslim or Somali communities, but to those who can relate to any part to my story. I feel very fortunate to be in this position and while it comes with an enormous amount of responsibility, at the end of the day, the best I can do is to just do me and be myself. And, hopefully, that’s good enough.
    As we said, you’re an incredible role model to many. Does the pressure of that ever affect you?
    It does. And mostly because I know that I am one of the lucky ones who was able to leave my refugee camp and resettle in a place like the USA having the opportunity to chase the American Dream. Most who live in refugee camps will never be able to say that. At times, I feel guilty. I never want to turn down an invitation, never want to look too tired when working, never want to miss catching someone’s name during conversation, or miss sight-seeing when in a new city… it is because I don’t want to let those down who won’t ever be given this gift I’ve been given to do these things. It’s a hard place to be in, but it’s also the most rewarding and gratifying; especially when someone tells you that you have inspired them in some small way.
    In the fashion industry, and in general, you’re a woman of firsts. Does that feel daunting at all, ever? Do you feel a weight of responsibility to break down barriers that need to be?
    Being the first isn’t easy. People innately fear the unknown so even if you do take that step to be the first, some will never understand or agree with you. To me, I knew being the first would mean nothing if there wasn’t a second, a third, a fourth. I am so proud that in just the short 3 ½ years of my modelling career, there are several hijab-wearing models and it’s not uncommon to see these women walking the runway or covering magazines. That makes my journey worth it to me.
    Who would you say your role model is and why?
    Without a doubt, I would say my mum is my role model. She is the epitome of resilience and determination. She walked 11 days to cross the border in Kenya from Somalia because of the Civil War. She did everything she could to care for us in a refugee camp. She told us it was going to be okay when we then left everything we had ever known to resettle in America. She is one of the strongest women I know.
    What are your hopes for the future in the fashion industry?
    My hope is that the fashion industry will continue to champion important messages that go beyond their great products. We all have voices and it’s so important to let them be heard. Especially, because we have the power to help others. For me, that’s using my voice to advocate for the world’s most vulnerable children as a UNICEF Ambassador. As I was once on the receiving end of their services, I now am in a position to be on the giving end.

    What have been three pivotal moments of your career and why?
    Firstly, Appearing on the cover of British Vogue was a moment in my career that stands out. I was the first hijab-wearing woman in their 102-year history to be on the cover. Also wearing a UNICEF t-shirt with Gigi on the cover of CR Fashion Book was major and an important day for my mum to connect with the work I do in fashion. She may not understand the industry, but she understands the work UNICEF does so that moment really sticks out to me.
    Secondly, walking exclusively for Yeezy Season 5 during my first ever fashion week. This was a pivotal moment as I went to the fitting and the look didn’t work with my personal wardrobe requirements so went back to my hotel thinking I wasn’t going to be in the show. I got a call late in the night to come back as the stylist had found another look for me. At this moment, I knew I didn’t need to conform to have a place in fashion. I also felt pride knowing that it’s okay to walk away if something doesn’t feel right. The right people, who you will ultimately want to work with, will make it happen.
    And finally, becoming a UNICEF Ambassador tops the list. I was once a young girl in a refugee camp benefitting from their hard work and now am on the other end assisting with their critical efforts.
    On the opposite end of the spectrum, what have been the major hurdles you’ve had to jump through?
    I think everyone in the world would agree that 2020 has been a hurdle in and of itself. Many of us have had sleepless nights not sure what our financial future and careers could look like moving forward. I’m fortunate that I have a great team and have been able to navigate, strategize, and do my best during this difficult time that so many of us have faced.
    What advice do you wish you received on your journey to success?
    I am lucky to have received great advice on my journey to success. The best advice, however, that I think applies to all of us during this uncertain time of Covid-19 came from my mum. My mum has always said, “Tough times don’t last, but strong people do.
    In terms of your career, what do you aspire to happen for yourself in the next five years?
    I would love to continue working in fashion and possibly getting into the film or hosting space too! I have so many goals and am pretty determined so keep your eyes out for me!
    – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Images: Supplied More

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    Every Budget-Friendly Piece I’ve Bought for Winter So Far

    This fall has been nothing for me if not a rollercoaster of false optimism mixed in with quite a bit (read: a lot) of cabin fever. For a few glorious weeks here in Chicago, we were able to sit outside on patios and leave our homes (socially-distanced, of course), and it felt like there was light at the end of the COVID-19 tunnel—but alas, that was, of course, a mirage.All this to say that, I write about fashion for my job, so I obviously love trends and clothes and figuring out my wardrobe when new seasons come. So when many were on the train of only wearing joggers, as they should have been, my mind played tricks on me and let me plan out some outfits for winter that may not see the light of day (but there’s always next year!).
    From matching sets to fun joggers to some new jeans (I told you, cabin fever!), these are the things I’ve added to my wardrobe for fall and winter—even if it means the only way anyone sees them is if I do an outfit change between every course on Thanksgiving for only my parents to see.

    I ordered this sherpa on Amazon one day when I was freezing cold and hadn’t found a new winter coat I loved yet, and it is quite literally one of my favorite things of the year. It’s more of a sweatshirt-level warmth (it isn’t a coat by any means), but I wear it around my apartment with leggings every single day, and every day it continues to wrap me in a soft, cozy hug and bring me joy. I loved the camel so much I ordered it in black too so I had one in case the camel one was in the wash. This is, by far, my favorite purchase of the past few months—and it’s $30. 

    As I previously disclosed, I did the opposite of what society has chosen to do and made the ill-informed decision to begin my hunt for the perfect pair of jeans a few weeks ago. I placed an order of literally eight pairs in all different sizes from Zara just to be able to try some on, and these are actually so comfortable that I’ve been wearing them for my quarantined life. They’re so soft and comfortable and flattering and wearing them to the grocery store is a joy.
    I struggle a lot with finding straight-leg jeans that fit my body right, but these are amazing. I would definitely recommend sizing up one size in these.

    During my jean excursion, I had only planned on keeping one pair, but these were such a rare gem that I kept them too. I. love. these. jeans. I had to order two sizes up (I literally could not get my normal size above my thighs), but they are also so comfortable and flattering, and I’m a sucker for a raw hem and button fly. If you, too, feel the need to add jeans to your wardrobe this winter, I couldn’t recommend either of these enough (and they are both super affordable).

    I got a targeted ad for this matching set so many times that it felt like it was God’s will for me to have it. I love wearing this on work-from-home days, of which I have worn it four out of my last five. It definitely helps me mentally to not feel super sloppy throughout the day, and this takes me from Zoom meetings to my afternoon nap seamlessly.

    If 2020 did one single thing right, it’s fun joggers. These are a jogger material but are made of corduroy, which defies all explanation and is something I don’t feel the need to question.
    My exact pair is from Gap and is sold out in some sizes, but Nordstrom now has a very similar pair which will hopefully lead the masses to experience this joy.

    If there is one thing that I love above all else in my wardrobe, it is my jackets. I choose them strategically and treasure them, and they are the glue that holds my outfits together—and it’s very rare that one speaks to me in the way this one did. I never would have gotten it based on Zara’s picture of it, but I saw it on a blogger on Instagram and knew I would wear it for years to come. It’s fun and completely unique, and I’m so excited to be able to wear it to death in the future. (Pro tip: this runs absolutely huge. This is an XS, which I never get, and is still quite large).

    This very ’70s print was one of H&M’s gems of the year, and I loved the thought of wearing this with tights and my knee-high boots. I wear my dresses to death but don’t see many I love very often, so I know I’ll be getting a ton of use out of this bad boy.

    This turtleneck makes me laugh in that it makes me feel like I’m wearing Kim Kardashian’s couch dress from the 2013 met gala, but it also makes me a bit fonder of it. I love wearing a thin turtleneck with joggers throughout the day and to have them to wear under jackets, and this was a nice detour from my collection of plain black ones.

    As we know, faux leather is the hottest thing since sliced bread this year, and I took it upon myself to find a pair that was both affordable and high-quality. After much, much trial and error and many trips to USPS to send return packages, I found these. I sized up, but they are such a good fit and are such a fun, versatile addition to your wardrobe that can be worn next year too (and the year after that, and the year after that). More

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    in health and weelbeing

    15 Books to Read if You Need a Mental Health Boost

    Some days we feel scared, some days we feel sad, some days we feel stressed, and some days we just feel blah. Luckily for us (and 2020), the best cure for a bad day is a good book (and maybe a tub of ice cream?). Whether you’re looking for an escape, some tangible advice, or major inspiration, there’s a book out there that can help boost your mood, reduce stress, and make you feel motivated. Forget laughter–these 15 books truly are the best medicine when you need a mental health boost (and some will make you laugh too). Add to cart or your Kindle cue now if you’re going through a tough time, to have ready for rainy days, or to gift to a friend that could use some extra inspiration. 

    Oprah Winfrey
    The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations

    So you need a little pick-me-up? The obvious answer: Oprah. Always. The very best “aha” moments from “Super Soul Sunday” are compiled into this deeply encouraging collection of interviews between Oprah and some of the world’s most inspiring leaders. If you’ve been lacking purpose, motivation, or feel lost, this is the book for you.

    John P. Forsyth PhD and Georg H. Eifert PhD
    Anxiety Happens: 52 Ways to Find Peace of Mind

    If you feel like anxiety is taking over your life (who doesn’t in 2020?), this quick reference guide offers one simple tool or strategy for every single week of the year, so you can work to less stress and anxiety, one step at a time. There’s also some in-the-moment tips to stay calm when you’re having a particularly stressful workday or in an anxious state. By 2022, you could be totally stress-free!

    Lalah Delia
    Vibrate Higher Daily: Live Your Power

    Looking for inspiration to tap into your inner power and become your best self? Instagram superstar, Lalah Deliah, put her self-help wisdom into this comprehensive book that teaches we have control over situations and our emotions. “Vibrating Higher Daily” helps you make intentional day-to-day choices that lift you out of mindsets, habits, and lifestyles that don’t serve you, and into ones that do.

    Gretchen Rubin
    The Happiness Project

    Gretchen Rubin set out on an entire year dedicated to happiness. The result? One of the most helpful and life-changing works of positive psychology that teaches us how to actually be happy. I love “The Happiness Project” because it combines personal anecdotes, scientific research, and wisdom from the past to help us not only achieve happiness, but re-examine what we all want out of life.

    Gabrielle Bernstein
    Super Attractor: Methods for Manifesting a Life beyond Your Wildest Dreams

    Filled with tangible tools like the “Choose Again Method” for reframing negative and boosting your mood, “Super Attractor” is a more spiritual approach to a mental health pick-me-up, with essential tips to live in alignment with the universe to create the life that you want.

    Elaine Welteroth
    More Than Enough: Claiming Space for Who You Are (No Matter What They Say)

    If you love memoirs, “More Than Enough” is the memoir that will simultaneously entertain you and boost your confidence, happiness, and purpose. Welteroth unpacks lessons on race, identity, and success through her own journey, while offering advice to readers who need a reminder that they’re f*cking awesome.

    Good Vibes, Good Life

    You may have heard of Vex King from his killer Instagram posts that regularly go viral from their profound advice and relatable inspiration. His book is just as good as his Instagram, only with a little more detail. “Good Vibes, Good Life” draws from his personal experience and intuitive wisdom to help you practice self-care, cultivate positive habits, manifest your goals using tried-and-true techniques, overcome fear, and find a higher purpose to be a shining light for others. It’s like Oprah’s book club for millennials.

    Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
    The Book of Joy

    Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama have faced major hardships, yet continue to radiate love, compassion, and even humor despite what they’ve been through. The two inspirational icons dive into the topic of joy: how do you find it in the face of suffering, and when you do find it, how do you keep it? Read if you’re looking for some serious inspiration or need a little extra joy during a very hard time.

    Michael A. Singer
    The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself

    The perfect combination of psychology and spirituality, “The Untethered Soul” delves into what we can do to free ourselves from the habitual thoughts, emotions, and energy patterns that limit our consciousness and hold us back. By the end of the book, you’ll not only understand yourself better than you ever have, but you’ll feel in control of your emotions (yes, even stress, anxiety, and worry).

    Carissa Potter
    It’s OK To Feel Things Deeply

    If self-help books aren’t really your style and you need some real-time support, this cheeky (but helpful!) book is the perfect option. With practical tips, genuine empathy, helpful honesty, adorable illustrations, and relatable humor, it’s full of support when you need a little extra love. It also makes a great gift for a friend going through a tough time.

    Elizabeth Gilbert
    Eat, Pray, Love

    Even if you haven’t read this modern classic yet, you’ve probably seen the blockbuster hit with Julia Roberts that made you want to move to Bali and eat pasta (simultaneously). This memoir is always a go-to read for me when I’m feeling stuck or complacent. Especially in 2020 when we’re literally stuck, it not only offers an escape, but there’s something about a realistic happy ending that makes me feel hopeful, even when I’m feeling lost.

    Marianne Williamson
    A Return to Love

    Maybe it sounds cheesy, but the key to happiness, stress reduction, and a constant good mood? Williamson makes the case that the answer is love. She shows us how love is a potent force, the key to inner peace, and how, by practicing love for other people, we can make our own lives more fulfilling. This is one of those books that changes you, so get ready for a life-altering read.

    Jenny Lawson
    You Are Here: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds

    A combination of inspiration, therapy, coloring, humor, and advice, this book is filled with intricate illustrations and life advice on how to cope. The writing is both humorous and incredibly honest, so “You Are Here” will be a tool to help you deal with tough life situations in a confident, creative, and happier way. Read if art is therapeutic to you.

    Shonda Rhimes
    Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

    Yes, THAT Shonda Rhimes: the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal,” and basically all of our other favorite shows. In this inspiring book, Rhimes opens up about the year she decided to say “yes” to everything. Spoiler alert: the results are life-changing. Read if work is bringing you down or you’re not sure what you’re meant to do with your life.

    What’s your go-to book to read when you need a pick-me-up? More

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    25 Gifts to Ask For to Kickstart Your New Year’s Resolutions

    Just because the holiday season isn’t exactly normal this year doesn’t mean you can throw out every goal and idea you have for 2021. Actually, I predict 2021 will be a huge year for setting new goals and resolutions—I mean if we’ll be inside, what else is there to do but crush your goals? As the holidays roll around, your parents, in-laws, significant others, and friends might be bugging you about what gifts you’re hoping to find under the tree this year. And somehow the age-old proverb exists: when someone asks what you want, every single thing you’ve even seen or heard of flies out of your head like magic. Instead of worrying about how you’ll reach all of those health and fitness goals the second the clock strikes midnight on January 1, make it a point to ask for those essential items 2021 you will need early. When it comes to fitness and health, there’s one brand that immediately comes to mind, and you’re probably picturing that iconic swoosh in your head right now too: Nike. They have everything you need for the best workouts, online yoga classes, and lounging days—and they’re perfect to add to your holiday wishlist. Most items are available up to a size 2XL (equaling a 20-22), but they also have a wide range of plus-size options available to choose from. They have tons of items available this year, so we did the hard work for you to find the best pieces. No matter what your resolutions are this year, we’ve rounded up the best items to add to your list for Santa. 

    Make outdoor winter workouts a breeze: 

    Run that 5K in no time: 

    Make self-care an everyday event:

    This post was sponsored by Nike, but all of the opinions within are those of The Everygirl editorial board. More

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    I’m a Black Woman and I Don’t Know How to Celebrate My Accomplishments

    “You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams, you are the epitome of what Martin Luther King Jr. marched for,” said my friend Steven. This statement took me back for a second. I knew what he was implying with his statement, I just didn’t know how to feel about it. During that moment, I started to think about how this a common feeling I had since I graduated high school. Hearing these words brought back a lot of feelings that have plagued my mind since I started my undergraduate studies. Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”? Which is a popular saying in the Black community. I always had some of my family and friends hype me up about the opportunities that I have been fortunate to have. But honestly, I always felt like I still wasn’t good enough. It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 
    Feeling like I “made it” gave me sorrow about Black people who would never know the feeling because they had the opportunity to live to see their full potential. Feeling like I “made it” gave me doubt about what my future held since I accomplished a lot in my early 20s. The feeling of accomplishing a goal was never an easy feeling for me. I would feel immense gratitude for how far I came, and then a rush of sadness came over me because it was a voice in my head telling me I just got lucky and one day it would not always be that way. A feeling of self-doubt would tell me that I was not worthy of the dreams I had in my head. Anxiety told me that I was only achieving my dreams because I was the token Black girl and I made white people feel comfortable. Not knowing how to celebrate my accomplishments started when I was in elementary school. 

    Were my accomplishments really that powerful that I made my ancestors proud? Was I really “making my ancestors proud”

    In elementary school, I loved reading, and my mother did too, so we would go to the library every weekend to find a good book to dive into. Reading became my safe haven from the world and let me explore life beyond the subsidized housing I lived in. I was able to put myself in someone else’s shoes for a short period of time. I was able to learn about things that “project kids” never had the chance to learn or experience. Since I loved reading, this helped me excel in school and get ahead of many of my peers. I was always praised by my parents for my good grades and excelling in different subjects in school. 

    It sometimes felt like I was living a double life. I was successful, put-together, and happy on the outside, but on the inside I was crippled with self-doubt, anxiety, and self-pity for some of the decisions I made and how my life turned out. 

    The praise and congratulations went on into high school and college. I was always made to feel like I was on top of the world. In retrospect, I have learned that this was a contributing factor to why I felt like I couldn’t slow down and appreciate my wins. I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead, and never get too comfortable with what I had. This is a problem that not only I deal with, but the reality of what people of color, especially Black people, have to deal with. When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

    I always felt like I had to achieve more, go harder, and not settle too much on what I had accomplished or the opportunities I had opened up doors for me. I always had to think 10 steps ahead and never get too comfortable with what I had.

    I recently spoke to a friend of mine who expressed on social media that she always felt like she wasn’t doing a good enough job at work and the pressure she always felt at work, regardless of what her superiors told her. She said that the hardest part about being a Black woman in corporate America/non-profit is, “We aren’t afforded bad days, passion, frustration, or disappointment. Every negative emotion we may have is an attitude of aggression. We aren’t even allowed to be introverted or shy because then we are mean, stand-offish, or unapproachable. This is especially problematic in the non-profit sector because of the emphasis put on the donor opinions and experiences.”
    When Black women constantly feel this way at work, it often seeps into our personal lives. We often think our accomplishments or wins won’t matter when the dust settles because it’s always “what’s next.” We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man, or the promotion, we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?” I asked my same friend, “Would you say you know how to celebrate your accomplishments? And she expressed to me it is difficult for her to acknowledge them. “Honestly it is difficult. A lot of times I look at things like ‘this is what I was supposed to do.’ This is no different than what Black women also feel in their personal lives. Society looks at us as being the “strong” one because of what they have made us endure and what we keep allowing. But when you feel like you are already a minority, you already know you have to work 20 times harder than anyone else, Black and white people included, we often feel like being strong and enduring what is thrown at us is what we are designed to do. 

    When you are a Black person—a Black woman—society and systematic oppression make you feel like you no one cares about what you accomplished and that you need to always stay on your toes. If we celebrate, there is always something in the back of our heads telling us that it could be taken away or we don’t deserve the fruit we bear because we are not worthy of hitting that “glass ceiling” (whatever that means) that we see so many non-people of color hit. 

    In most of my jobs, relationships, and friendships, I always felt like I had to know how to take pain and suffering as the first step in order to reap the rewards. As I sit back and think of what I have accomplished and how I accomplished it, it all was derived from pain. I wanted to excel in college because I know most people like me don’t get the opportunity. Pain. I moved to New York to have better opportunities and felt ostracized and dealt with systematic racism. Pain. I found one of my passions for working in Diversity and Inclusion, but if I had not attended a predominantly white graduate school and faced racism and prejudice for the majority of my days, I wouldn’t be where I am today. But it was all derived from pain and suffering that America chooses as a weapon to make Black women feel inadequate for what they want to accomplish.

    We never get extended the grace to reel in what we accomplished and the life we have built for ourself. If we get the job, the house, the man or the promotion we always get the rebuttal of “When are you going to get a man?” or “What do you even do?”

    Sometimes it’s hard to decipher whether something is right for me if I didn’t have to suffer first to get it. This is an ongoing struggle for not just Black women, but also Black people. We always work 20 times harder, we are always thinking about our next goal, what we are going to do next and if suffering or obstacles are not attached to them—it feels too good to be true. 
    Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else. It is a never-ending cycle that we have to go through in order for people to see our worth. Just because you think we are strong, doesn’t mean we have to always showcase that trait every day. 

    Black women don’t get the same grace from a society that we give everyone else.

    There is no right solution to make Black women feel like they don’t have to wear the weight of the world on their shoulders. It is a learned habit that America and the people who have made up their own idea of what a Black woman is before getting to learn them. It will take years and decades to untwine the idea of what a Black woman is or is not. 
    Black women deserve the same dignity, rights, protection, and grace that is given out so freely to everyone but them. In order for Black women to get the chance to heal, feel, celebrate, and accomplish their desires, society has to change the narrative that has kept Black women in a box.  More

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    in lifestyle and culture

    Explore the world of this international firm known for auctioning rare pieces

    In an era of adapting to a digital world, this auction house has added its own take to the world of collectable purchases, by already having shifted to the rarefied world of the auction house to a revolutionised online space.
    From 3 to 17 November Christie’s will be auctioning vintage iconicHermès designs, vintage Louis Vuitton and limited-edition Chanel.

    To gain more insight about the online auction and what exactly is uniting collectors globally, Emirates Woman sat down with Rachel Koffsky, the head of sales for handbags and accessories at Christie’s.
    How has the auction market managed to stay seemingly bullet-proof this year especially during the global health pandemic?
    Christie’s first began holding online-only auctions in 2011, so we have almost a decade of knowledge and experience operating on a virtual platform. When the world went into lockdown, we pivoted our live sale strategy into the online space, transitioning viewings into viewing rooms and lunches into digital lectures. Besides the technology advantage, I believe that the firm’s constant investment in departmental specialists has also helped. Meaning that we have built strong relationships with our collector base who are trusting our longstanding expertise.
    With a dynamic digital platform you’ve managed to stay abreast with the current trends, what are some of the new features you plan on adding in the foreseeable future?

    Our digital engagement is improving nearly daily. We are doing all to make the experience for our collectors as detailed and engaging as possible. New viewing rooms have been installed, helping to view the objects for sale in the smallest details, including 360 degree photography and lot videos, and sharing even more knowledge in our lot descriptions. Furthermore, all condition reports can be downloaded online and there is a new chat option online to help clients to navigate our webpage.

    Lime Sequin Mini Single Flap with Silver Hardware (estimate: £1,000-2,000)
    What specific opportunities do you see in the GCC market region and are there any specific trends that the crowd leans towards?
    The handbag collectors from the GCC region are very sophisticated and curating their collection of handbags, in particular looking for special editions in exceptional conditions. Collectors from this region have been growing in numbers recently, due to our handbag viewings in Dubai at the watch auctions and lectures in India. In addition, due to limited travel opportunities, our sales enable clients from the region to participate in shopping experiences in Europe from the comfort of their homes.
    With each item needing to have ‘out of the ordinary’ features, on what basis are items selected to be auctioned?
    The main criteria for handbags sold at Christie’s is brand, model, condition and rarity. Our collectors are very sophisticated, and they know that they will find the most precious and rare objects at Christie’s.
    On the other side we are also the department attracting the largest number of new clients and must also cater to their needs to start collecting in this field. Therefore, we are delighted to offer items with starting bids at £100, to over £50,000.
    Are customers in the Middle East vendours or purchasers?
    The majority of the clientele in the Middle East are purchasers. However, we certainly have consignors from the Middle East. Oftentimes, collectors will sell a piece in order to fund a new purchase, or make room in the closet for a new acquisition.
    What are your expectations for the upcoming auction, especially as items for the festive season will also be included?
    The auction opened for bidding on the 3 November and already sold almost 80 per cent of lots offered, with the sale open until 17 November to increase the percentage!

    Louis Vuitton’s Hermetic Explorer’s Zinc Cabin Trunk from the 1890s (estimate: £40,000-50,000) 
    What are some of the key items that will be included in the upcoming Christie’s handbags and accessories online auction?
    In addition to handbags by Hermès, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Fendi and Dior, we also have an exceptional collection of Louis Vuitton trunks including a Zinc Explorer Trunk from the 1890s and very rare Flower Trunks from the 1920s which were not available for purchase, but gifted to VIP clients. We also have incredible sport and lifestyle pieces such as a Limited Edition Winged Mini Saddle and a Batavus Bicycle both by Hermès.
    What advice would you give to collectors who are interested in purchasing vintage items this season?
    Buy what you love! The primary motivation for collecting handbags should be passion. It is important that these objects bring you joy. It is also best to purchase the best available on the market with the budget you have set aside.
    – For more on luxury lifestyle, news, fashion and beauty follow Emirates Woman on Facebook and Instagram
    Feature image: Instagram @christiesinc More