Tune in May 13
MKS Jewellery, founded by HRH Sheikha Mariam bint Khalifa bin Saif Al Nahyan, has introduced a series of talks under their ‘Here to Listen’ initiative.
It’s a series of virtual talks aims to connect, express and support the mental health for women across the region during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The last episode ‘Standing Up for Yourself and Each Other’ will air May 13 at 2pm Dubai time and will focus on important issues surrounding domestic violence, gender dynamics and standing up for oneself and others.
“This pandemic has brought up so many questions and discomforts to us all, equally giving us all perspective and forcing us all to rethink and check in on our value systems. I love that this initiative gives us the opportunity to come together to try to make sense of it all, and hopefully take forward some valuable learnings forward too,” said Sheikha Mariam.
Hosted by journalist Georgie Bradley, the panel line-up includes Marie-Justine Todd, Founder of Shamsaha, Laila Saif, Co-Owner of Illuminations, Hadil A M from Illuminations.
In support of the ‘Here to Listen’ series, use the MKSCARES code at checkout to give 10 per cent of purchases to the participating organisations to support their non-profit activities. You can simply register for the zoom talks here.
Ahead of the talk, we asked all the panellists to share their personal thoughts on the topic.
The UAE has made some incredible inroads in stabilising gender dynamics. You can’t fault the presence of women in leadership roles – compared to many other areas of the world, it’s very impressive. However, this is still just the tip of the iceberg. The negative aspects still thrive in silence. We have to face confronting truths and endure the difficult process of cultural change. Change doesn’t come without some level of suffering – and human beings don’t like suffering.
I try not to stick to a daily formula of any kind because life is so changeable and I don’t like getting absorbed in creature habits. But as the Ethel Merman song, I Got The Sun in the Morning goes: ‘Taking stock of what I have and what I haven’t. What do I find? A healthy balance on the credit side…’ Acknowledging all the good in my life makes me feel strong and confident.
I think people are a lot more open to having conversations about domestic violence so long as it is seen as ‘someone else’s problem’ – it feels much safer. The fact that we use confessional and hushed language around domestic violence straight up turns it into a taboo – and thus shame is bred.
Since my previous experience and working with the government for 15 years, I’ve seen a great shift and movement at the highest levels and for the first time in the history of the UAE we have 32 ministers out of which 9 are women. This tells me that there is high level support for women to lead and be productive members of society is definitely there, which is great. On the other hand, culturally and rooted deep within certain groups of society you would still find women who are not allowed to work, or get a drivers license and are constrained by certain rules; and unfortunately are abused physically or emotionally when they speak up.
A 20-minute meditation in the morning keeps me centered and connected to my truth, and that connection keeps me guided and provides infinite strength. I’m not confident all the time; there are things or times where I am confident and other times I’m not and that is okay, we are all human.
I don’t feel there is a sense of shame; I feel there is rather a sense of helplessness. If someone speaks up and nothing happens and there is no assurance that they will be separated from the abuser, then what is the point? This is the reality of people’s thought process when it comes to domestic violence and there are many different factors, especially to do with family and reputation of such.
I think that UAE is working towards equality between both genders in the work force. However, I do not see much movement towards equality of the both genders when it comes to lifestyle and personal beliefs.
It’s actually something very simple and trivial. I do what is called a ‘superman pose’ and put a smile on my face and tell myself that it will be a great day, no matter what.
In my opinion, there is still shame around domestic violence because people in the region have grown up with the mentality that ‘this is how our culture works’ and it was somewhat normal for men to overpower women if they go against their husband, father or brother. It is deeply embedded in the minds of many that men are leaders in many facets of life, and this sentiment lingers despite more education and awareness around the topic.
A “dynamic” by definition is fluid, ever-evolving and changing, and this includes gender dynamics as well. In the UAE, as well as around the GCC and the world, gender dynamics will depend on the people and place in question. However, always influencing these dynamics are common gender roles, which although vary per culture and country, have common global characteristics. There are expectations that are assigned to women and men that influence the way that we interact with each other, thus creating the dynamics between genders, and between all of us as individuals as we interact with each other. Consciously or subconsciously, we are all acting with intention to fit the norm or the standard that is expected in social interactions, and this quite often means upholding the expectation put on us, as women or men, by society. This could mean acting warm, gentle, sensitive. Or it could mean acting tough, proactive and as a leader.
I believe that a personal sense of strength and confidence can sometimes feel inevitable and at other times feel impossible. Some days are certainly better than others. And although I could not reference any specific activity that increases these feelings, certainly taking care of myself physically and psychologically with healthy habits helps, but overall I think this is something that is a process and that we just have to keep working towards.
The prevalence of victim blaming, dehumanisation of women and the normalisation of gender based violence all around us in culture and society continues each and every day to teach women to be ashamed of themselves if they do not fit an unattainable myth of the perfect women and/or victim. From traditional tribal cultures, to religious belief systems to modern media women are portrayed as tempting, sinful and unworthy of respect, thus is it no surprise that in real life women are still ashamed to speak up as survivors of violence.
