Worthy Farm is going to be popping off this summer – thanks in large part to headliners Dua Lipa, Coldplay, and SZA.
The line-up, with Shania Twain playing the legends slot, is the most poptastic Glastonbury we’ve ever seen.
And to say we’re excited would be an understatement.
As you can imagine, hardline musos are up in arms with the announcement, with one person comparing the Pyramid headliners to a “Smash Hits poll winners party”.
Admittedly, that is funny, but it is not exactly true.
There are some great acts on the bill for the four-day event in June alongside the big pop names.
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Rockers LCD Soundsystem, Idles, Bloc Party, The National, and Nothing but Thieves are all confirmed, as are punk acts Fontaines D.C. and Sleaford Mods.
And Burna Boy and Headie One are both acts I’ll be heading to see, along with Jungle, Jessie Ware, Paloma Faith, Arlo Parks, and Sampha.
We revealed last week how a last-minute drop-out by Stevie Wonder left festival bosses Michael and Emily Eavis scrambling for a late headline booking in SZA.
But given her phenomenal success over the past year, I think she’ll be a sure-fire hit.
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Blown away
Coldplay, fronted by Chris Martin, are making a welcome return to the farm.
Their slot on the Pyramid stage on the Saturday will be their fifth time headlining, a record for the festival.
After seeing them at Manchester’s Etihad Stadium last year, where I was absolutely blown away by their set, I have no doubt they’ll be setting Glastonbury alight.
It’s a huge time for Dua too, with her upcoming third album, Radical Optimism, due out on May 3, a few weeks before the festival.
Her Friday night slot will be the biggest performance of her career so far, and I am expecting her team to pull out all the stops to make it a show to remember.
Playing to an expected 120,000 crowd is no mean feat, but knowing how determined and driven Dua is, I think she’ll put on the show of a lifetime.
As well as being the most poppy, this year’s Glastonbury is the most diverse line-up ever — with almost 15 per cent more female or non-binary artists than its American equivalent in Coachella.
There are more acts to be announced in the coming weeks, but given the line-up so far, I’m almost a happy camper.
But I will never, ever be truly pleased about sleeping in a tent.
GLASTONBURY FAILED FANS LIKE ME WITHOUT HUGE ROCK ACTS
By Simon Cosyns, Deputy Editor
A few weeks before Glastonbury 2008, I was asked to meet festival founder Michael Eavis for a “crisis” meeting.
We sat in a veggie restaurant somewhere in London, mulling over the huge backlash against the upcoming headline appearance of superstar rapper Jay-Z.
The furore was fuelled by Noel Gallagher, brash but much-loved Epiphone-toting Oasis loudmouth, who had said the festival was “built on a tradition of guitar music”.
“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” he added. “Sorry, but Jay-Z?”
I remember saying to Eavis and daughter Emily that if they had 99 problems, Jay-Z wasn’t one, that his signing was genius and that The Sun would wholeheartedly back the rapper’s appearance.
Thankfully, he was an unqualified triumph, famously opening his set with a montage of people hating on him, including Noel, and performing a sublime cover of Wonderwall to bring the house down and turn the “crisis” on its head.
My point is that I’m open to Glastonbury moving with the times, drawing on popular music’s ceaseless shifts in trends and its wonderful diversity.
Dua Lipa is a fabulous pop star, Shania Twain is a country diamond and SZA is R&B heaven.
But, when it comes to the 2024 line-up and without wishing to sound like a “male, pale, and stale” old fart, I’m also mindful of Noel’s stance.
As Joan Jett once sang, I love rock and roll… and would love to think that it had a more prominent place among the myriad acts that make Glasto the greatest music festival on earth. Put it this way, say the Rolling Stones weren’t touring America in June and Mick Jagger had agreed to strut and shimmy his way across the Pyramid Stage, it’s all anyone would be talking about.
Furthermore, there’s no Springsteen, AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam or Metallica on the bill. No Macca or Elton because they’ve just done it. And no chance of a reunion by Led Zepplin or Pink Floyd.
As for Britpop, Blur had their moment at Wembley last year. Noel and Liam still need to kiss and make up (perish the thought).
So we’re left with Glasto stalwarts Coldplay, God bless ‘em, who, under Chris Martin’s guidance, will do a lovely, phone-lights-in-the-air show.
But they simply haven’t got riffs at their disposal like the monsters that usher in Satisfaction, or Highway To Hell .
On the plus side, because Glastonbury is so huge and diverse, there’s rock gold to be found in them there Somerset pastures. Idles, The National, The Breeders and two lots of Irish rabble rousers, Fontaines DC and The Mary Wallopers, among them.
But to borrow from Led Zep, let’s hope it won’t be a long lonely lonely time before the Pyramid Stage rocks and rolls again.
Neigh Stopping Legend Shania
Brushing my teeth over a muddy puddle, That Don’t Impress Me Much.
But Shania Twain will make the Glasto hygiene horrors all worth it.
The singer is already planning her outfit for her Legends slot on the Sunday, which I can guarantee will be replicated by our very own Jack, who goes all out when it comes to his Worthy Farm wardrobe.
Shania is also considering bringing a horse on stage in a nod to her 2014 Las Vegas residency when she rode into the room singing You’re Still The One.
She said on BBC Radio 2: “I really am so excited. I’m already planning what I’m going to wear.
“You know, it’s going to be all the hits first of all, so I expect us to all be singing, word for word the whole time through.”
After host Gaby Roslin suggested she might transport her trusty steed to Somerset, she added: “Oh God, who can pull those strings for me? You’ve just put something in my mind.
“I know that you guys love your horses . . . let me think about this.
“Maybe I could show up on a carriage, you know, a team of horses or something.”
Prince Philip would have been proud, Shania.
MOVE OVER, OLD FARTS, AND LET THE YOUNG STARS SHINE
By Howell Davies, Associate Bizarre Editor
Glastonbury is finally moving with the times, and it’s great to see.
Yes, there will be old farts complaining that it was better in their day. What’s new there?
Really, this is the music that people are listening to in 2024.
I’ve been to the festival every year since 2015 and I’m bored of seeing the same crusty old white men as headliners. This twist is refreshing for a pop fan like me.
Of course there is a place for everyone, but old acts have dominated the line-up for years. And after a backlash over 2023’s all-male headliners, I love that there’s such a diverse roster.
Dua Lipa is Britain’s biggest superstar in years, making waves around the world. Coldplay are one of the most successful bands of the 21st Century, with phenomenal stage shows.
SZA had one of the most-played albums of 2023 with SOS – and has an incredibly exciting future.
And in the legends slot, Shania Twain – who has the biggest-selling album of all time by a female artist with Come On Over – will have punters of every age singing along to her hits. No one talked about Guns N’ Roses when they headlined last year, but Stormzy’s debut headline set in 2019 felt historic.
I’m sure some people will be disappointed that veteran acts like the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder aren’t topping the bill.
But we have to give younger stars the chance to headline now.
If not, when the “classic” Glasto headliners are all dead and buried, who will fill those slots as music legends and icons?
Simz Onto the Next Stage
Two years after a stellar set on West Holts, Little Simz has graduated on to play the Pyramid Stage.
Speaking about returning, the Venom hitmaker said: “The last time I did Glasto, West Holts, I remember saying, ‘I’ll see you next time on the Pyramid’ and it actually happened.
This is the only show I’m playing this year. All roads are leading for me to Glasto, so I’m really taking time to craft a show, to make it as much of an immersive experience as I can.”
Speaking to Lauren Laverne on BBC Radio 6, the rapper said going back to Worthy Farm meant the world to her.
She added: “I think my Glastonbury journey has just been so unique. They’ve supported me and kept bringing me back to do bigger stages, it really is special.”
We’ll see you there, Simz.
Sugababes caused chaos when they first played at Glastonbury in 2022. Pints of warm lager went flying because the demand to see them on the Avalon Stage was so huge, with security eventually closing it off to stop people being crushed.
Luckily this year, it won’t be the same – as Emily has upgraded them to the bigger West Holts Stage to give everyone a chance to watch.
Mutya Buena, Keisha Buchanan, and Siobhan Donaghy said: “We are ecstatic to be returning to Worthy Farm.
“Two years ago will go down in history as one of our favorite ever shows, we’ve never seen a crowd like it.
“Roll on Glastonbury 2024, let’s make it even better!”
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And thankfully less wetter.
GLASTO HEADLINERS LEAGUE TABLE
1 – Coldplay (2024, 2016, 2011, 2005, 2002) – 5
2 – The Cure (2019, 1995, 1990, 1986) – 4
=3 – Arctic Monkeys (2023, 2013, 2007), Muse (2016, 2010, 2004), Radiohead (2017, 2003, 1997), and Van Morrison (1989, 1987, 1982) – 3
