While I never want to yuck anyone’s yum, I’ll fight it to my death that foreplay can be the best part of sex if you get creative. Penetration (or however you define sex) is great and all, but foreplay is what gets you excited for the main event in the first place. There’s no time limit, you can make it entirely catered to your own experience, and it requires you to think outside of the box. If you’re looking to spice things up in the bedroom this year (add that to your New Year’s resolutions!) and try new things, the first place to start is going to be with your foreplay game.
To make this foray into foreplay (I’d love to trademark that phrase if anyone knows a lawyer) this year, we’re making it extra easy by giving you a bunch of new ideas you can seriously start this weekend. Whatever you don’t do this weekend, add it to your sex bucket list!
1. Watch each other undress
With sex, we often go on autopilot, and we forget to take in every moment, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. Instead, make a note to actually watch each other undress. Don’t touch each other while it’s happening either; make it all about the experience of looking at each other and getting excited just at the thought of how hot you both are.
2. Talk dirty
Instead of actually touching each other, simply tell each other what you want to do. Don’t be afraid to go into detail! To make it extra sexy, don’t wait until you’re in the bedroom. Simply talking about all the dirty, sexy, crazy things you want to do to each other while you’re sitting on the couch keeps things fun and flirty.
3. Listen to music
If you don’t already turn up your speakers while you’re having sex, now might be the time to start. Whatever kind of music turns you both on, whether it’s R&B, country, slow songs, or even show tunes (hey, Brittany in Glee singing Britney is beyond sexy), turn it up and use the music as the rhythm of all of your moves. Dance around the kitchen and sing along. Having fun together is sexy! Making a playlist together of your favorite songs to get down to can also be a form of foreplay on its own.
4. Play with ice
Ice is quite possibly the highest ROI on any sex toy. It’s entirely free and has benefits for both partners. It’s a different and unique sensation to play with temperature during sex. Some ideas for adding ice into your foreplay includes in your mouth during kissing, in your mouth during oral sex, rubbing it down your partner’s body, or on you or your partner’s nipples. If ice is too much for you and you don’t mind getting a little messy, dripping ice cream down your partner’s body (or yours!) can do the trick (and it tastes freaking good!). Be careful of using any foods near the vagina in the penis to avoid infections.
5. Go somewhere that reminds you of your relationship
Go back to your first date spot, where you got engaged, where you said “I love you” for the first time, and more. Being in those special places again can bring you back, mentally and physically, to earlier parts of your relationship. It’ll remind you how far you’ve come as a couple … and if that isn’t just a little sexy to you, I don’t know what is.
6. Make a bucket list together
Sitting down together to come up with everything you want to do this year sexually is the perfect foreplay for the adventurous couple. The items can be as crazy or as tame as you want them (we recommend ideas like having a threesome, talking about sex more, using sex toys, and having multiple orgasms!). Keep this list somewhere where you can go back to it, such as your nightstand, and make it a goal to do one new thing every week. You won’t even know how to choose what to do first!
7. Send a text
Although our phones can make us a little less present for sex, they can also be a great tool to arouse both partners. Text your partner exactly what you want to do to them when they get home — and just like the dirty talking exercise, don’t be too afraid of details. You can send it in the morning or just before you know they’re about to come over. They’ll be on their way immediately! Other ideas include texting your partner that you want to have sex (simple, but effective!), all about your favorite sexual experience with them, or something you’re excited to try. If you’re both 18 or older, sending photos in your favorite lingerie can be a fun way to show off exactly what they’re coming home to. (Just make sure this is someone you absolutely trust!)
8. Take a shower together
While your partner’s in the shower, feel free to hop in! Shower sex doesn’t have to be the end goal of this either. Having fun in the water and getting excited for whatever’s to happen outside of the shower is exciting all in itself. However, we’re not against trying to make shower sex work — just don’t hurt yourself!